Reck - Today at 3:46 AM
you ok?
Animorpherv1 - Today at 3:52 AM
I don't know anymore
I know you understand, Reck. I'm having a really hard time with this. It felt so right... Everything kind of fell into place.
And now everything's gone past hell and hasn't turned back to say hello.
Reck - Today at 3:54 AM
it did for me too buddy
and i went way the fuck out of my way to make sure it kept feeling right
even despite all the warning flags
being second fiddle feels like garbage
Animorpherv1 - Today at 3:55 AM
I want to dipset and run.
I know that's how this'll end.
But doing that now... I can't.
Reck - Today at 3:55 AM
not to be cliche, but
if you do that, you wont learn what it feels like
and you might make the same mistake again
being in your situtation was the straw that broke the camel's back for me
and lead me to dating my now-husband
Animorpherv1 - Today at 3:56 AM
nods
Reck - Today at 3:56 AM
but...nobody else made me feel that way
it was a me decision
Animorpherv1 - Today at 3:56 AM
I just.. I don't know what to do.
Reck - Today at 3:57 AM
you tell him
"i dont feel okay being the second option. i understand from your POV it must be diffcult"
"but i dont wanna be kept waiting in the wings"
Animorpherv1 - Today at 3:57 AM
gulp
Reck - Today at 3:58 AM
you can wait
it out
that's fine
but you need to let him know up front
so like
Animorpherv1 - Today at 3:59 AM
I know I need to do what's right for me. I know it. But it's hard.
Reck - Today at 3:59 AM
can i tell you a story
Animorpherv1 - Today at 3:59 AM
Sure
Reck - Today at 4:00 AM
When I started to get involved w dramonic it was a similar experience
He had a bf and wasn't feeling great about it
Animorpherv1 - Today at 4:00 AM
I should've been sleeping hours ago but I'm an idiot and played league with him and his friends for hours.
Reck - Today at 4:00 AM
and i had fallen head over heels for him.
Animorpherv1 - Today at 4:00 AM
So who cares about my sleep schedule now
Reck - Today at 4:00 AM
and so after a few months
i was like "hey um so us???"
and he was like "well.......it depends on how things work out with simon"
and at that point i felt like i had no other options and had been lonely for so long i was like 'okay yea sure that's fine!!'
things kept going. i spent $$$$ to go visit him.
had to arrange it when simon &  his parents werent home, though. had to keep it a secret.
and i thought i was in love.
it wasn't until the, like, 50th time i was up at 2am waiting to tell him goodnight that i said "ok fuck this"
i went through MONTHS of "oh guess he couldnt make it" and "oh ok guess he's just tired"
until finally i stood up for myself
and after i did, the first guy i went on a date with wasnt great. he was honestly bad.
but dramonic messaged this guy to talk to him and kinda blew up my spot
and after that, i said "i am doing this for me"
and when i did, i found love
dont be afraid to be alone or loveless. i know this feels right now like lightning in a bottle...like, will you ever feel this hot and heavy and passionate about someone again?
but, you will
i promise
Animorpherv1 - Today at 4:04 AM
nods
Reck - Today at 4:04 AM
anyway hope it helped
Animorpherv1 - Today at 4:04 AM
It makes sense, at least.
Reck - Today at 4:05 AM
if you keep digging in for this i wont blame you
it's natural
but there are so many better things. dont waste months of your young adult life pining after impossibilities
it is my biggest regret
after i met brock, dramonic finally decided he did in fact want to be w/ me
and you know what? he had a 14 million $ inheritance on the table. and despite all that, i had finally broken free and said "no".
and one day youll reach the point that youll go "hey im in love. fuck everything else."
it wont be w/ this guy
Animorpherv1 - Today at 4:06 AM
I don't think I've ever heard this story from your side
Reck - Today at 4:07 AM
dram kept up the whole "I want to be with you!! But I need to wait to see what Simon does!!" thing for like almost a year?
Animorpherv1 - Today at 4:07 AM
I know when it was going on dram and I were friends and I got a chunk of that side.
Reck - Today at 4:07 AM
and it wasn't until i finally found my own love that he made a decision
and lemme tell you...that felt amazing
knowing that i was worth it and seeing that i had been strung along for so long
Animorpherv1 - Today at 4:08 AM
Tbh I wish I could just copy paste this whole thing over to V.
I honestly think he needs this more than I do.
Reck - Today at 4:08 AM
do it if you want
Animorpherv1 - Today at 4:08 AM
Well I'm on my phone so yeah
Reck - Today at 4:08 AM
if dramonic had left simon earlier, id probably be living in montreal right now and a millionaire.
but i do NOT regret it.
because i found my own truth.
it's his loss for taking so long
and now, for 8 years, ive been with an amazing dude who loves me, faults and all
Animorpherv1 - Today at 4:10 AM
nods
Reck - Today at 4:10 AM
but there's a corner of my mind left
that goes "wow...imagine all the experiences i could've had in the meantime if i hadnt waited on him for a  year"
Animorpherv1 - Today at 4:11 AM
This feels legit like what V needs. I knew already I had to do something. Just nothing else feot right
And seriously?
Felt*
Reck - Today at 4:12 AM
at some point, after brock and i were together, dramonic & simon broke up
he moved on, too
he's happy now. i think anyway
Animorpherv1 - Today at 4:13 AM
I guess he found someone else, too.
Reck - Today at 4:14 AM
has he though
i mean these are explicit deifnitions
Animorpherv1 - Today at 4:14 AM
shrug
Reck - Today at 4:14 AM
that need to be stated
so you're both not like "oh man did i fuck up"
Animorpherv1 - Today at 4:15 AM
Tbh I wish I was still on my computer right now. This would make what I want to do with this so much easier. May have to wait until after inwake up.
I wake*
And thanks.
Reck - Today at 4:16 AM
if you guys dont work out it's fucking fine
just dont leave things unsaid
you're a good dude, ani
Animorpherv1 - Today at 4:16 AM
Haha. Thank you.
Sometimes it doesn't feel like it, but I appreciate the thought regardless.
I do feel a lot better though
Thank you thank you.
Like I'm smiling right now. And that's all I needed in order to be able to sleep
Reck - Today at 4:20 AM
:heart:
let my stupid drunken and drug-fueled mistakes be some sorta lesson to someone
Animorpherv1 - Today at 4:20 AM
Hahahaha
I'm going to do something with this dammit.
Reck - Today at 4:21 AM
you go girl