pastebin monday #1 (ON A TUESDAY)

Pastebin Monday (on a Tuesday):

1. Employment

As made clear on my timeline, I got a job at Starbucks this week. I've been searching for employment since before SGDQ of last year, so its been well over a year since I've wanted to get some sort of part-time work to do alongside school. I did have that weekend job from February to August of this year, but considering I worked like, 5 shifts, I left that and don't really count it as a job. This will be my first actual, long term job, assuming everything goes well. My manager and her boss seem extremely nice, and the store environment seems really great as well. I'm just overall really happy this is where I ended up working. The cafe aesthetic is really appealing to me and it seems like it will be a great environment. After trying to work for this company on three separate occasions, I'm happy third time happened to be the charm. The only real problem with it is distance, since I don't drive yet, which brings me to...

2. Driving

I've yet to take Driver's Ed during school and don't plan on blowing the money on it this spring. I don't even have a permit yet, as I really don't want to bother my Grandma to drive me all the way to the DMV (which is 10 miles away from me). I really want to work on being comfortable driving in the next few months, even though I plan to go to University in New York City. I'm probably gonna take one of those driving course things at the DMV where you watch a video for 3 hours and then practice driving with my brother when he comes home for winter break from his University. I'd ideally have my license by the time I turn 18 in March.

3. Creation

I've been in a major creative rut lately and have had a lot of issues knowing what I want to do with my time and what skills I care about and want to develop. The only "creative" thing I've really done as of late is streaming; but I really don't consider streaming a very creative or skillful hobby or pass-time to really develop. Streaming is like, the least effort creation I've ever really seen. You, at the end of the day, are just playing Videogames and talking to people, which for me is something I normally do anyway. Drawing, Music creation, Instruments, video creation, graphic design, etc. are all far more creative and skillful means of creation in my eyes, and I wish I had any sort of drive to do any of them. I look at other people who are really great at some sort of creation and just get excessively jealous of it. I want to BE that guy. I want to actually create something that people look back at and think "wow that's amazing" which I don't feel from streaming at all. Its a matter of me finding something I genuinely want to do, which is easier said than done, of course. I want to try my hand at drawing again, whenever I get more motivation to get off my ass and start drawing.

4. Speedruns

I've been really shitty about Speedrunning lately. I've been wasting my time on garbage speedruns I don't care about instead of grinding HL1 or Op4, games I actually do care about. I got in this shitty mentality, and am still in a mentality, of wanting to get runs into a GDQ as a priority. I spent the last few weeks learning games and runs specifically to submit to AGDQ, which is really toxic and terrible to do. I realize this, and will submit these games to GDQ. If they get in I'll continue doing them, if not I'll just stick to GoldSource. I won't make this mistake in the future with SGDQ if I choose to go. I'm only gonna run games I actually want to run. I'm going to be starting to learn speedruns of Quake at some point soon, so I'll probably just focus on getting that game into SGDQ next year, again, if I choose to go. If I don't get good enough at Quake before then, oh well. I'm really hoping HL1 and Op4 get into GDQ, but understandably probably only Op4 will get in if anything. I don't expect Gunman or any of the Portal races to get in, so really Op4 will probably be my only GDQ speedrun unless they really want HL1 again, which I pray to god they do.

5. Health

I've been thinking more about my personal health lately and really am looking to improve my general life-style and habits in the coming months. I genuinely look like a turd and am so ridiculously unhealthy and un-kind to my body and I've just really had enough of living like this. I've been looking to make healthier meals for myself and overall eat nothing but good, unprocessed foods, but it can be hard and tempting to eat garbage a lot. I've been trying to eat more Fruit and steaming vegetables more often, but I need to cut back on the garbage I eat if I want to actually get healthier and look better. I also need to work out more, and I hope to motivate myself to run more very soon while its still fairly nice weather in the Fall. I want to, at some point, be mostly really thin with muscle tone and stick to ~150 pounds. I weigh about 180 right now so I still have a long ass ways to go, but if I'm smart about it I'm sure I can succeed. I'm prolly gonna wait until University to start hitting weights and stuff, so I can avoid paying for a gym membership that I'll only use for so long at home. For now, I'm just gonna eat well and try to run a lot. I'm gonna make a dieting plan for myself soon.