nanadarlingToday at 4:13 PM
I mean, I still care about you as a friend. I wouldn't be talking to you if I didn't.
I'm not mad at you, just at the way this was done and it's frustrating. I'm sorry I slung a lot of harsh words at you. But it's mostly because this has brought me back to the way I was kicked from the dance group.
ZenToday at 4:16 PM
I feel you and we probably could have handled it better. I will say that we have no idea what we're doing, we're just making shit up as we go along. Lots of mistakes. Thank you, I appreciate that. And I know that's probably a trigger but we're not kicking you from the server or from the social group or even the staff yknow, we don't want you to leave
nanadarlingToday at 4:17 PM
I don't know, I just feel like I don't want to be where I'm not welcomed or wanted.
ZenToday at 4:17 PM
You are wanted though, everyone loves you tbh
nanadarlingToday at 4:17 PM
I know you're just people with mental illness just like me, I don't expect you to always have the answers.
Not everyone does, though. I know Moony's the one who's been asking to remove me for months and that she was the one person who didn't want to mod me in the first place.
ZenToday at 4:18 PM
she's one person tho
and she still never had a problem with you personally
nanadarlingToday at 4:18 PM
I mean, it feels very personal.
I've seen how she interacts with people and it seems like she demotes people who she's not 100% with.
ZenToday at 4:19 PM
well, it's not just her, we have pow wows
nanadarlingToday at 4:19 PM
I tried to be her friend, even, but yeah, I doubt that's going to happen.
Well, I mean, Charlie was mostly kept in the dark about this stuff, I know because the last time I started messaging him calling him a liar he had no fucking idea what the hell I was talking about.
ZenToday at 4:20 PM
he had all the same information we did
we've talked about it as a group
nanadarlingToday at 4:20 PM
I mean, he had no idea it was happening, like, he told me flat out.
Last Tuesday, anyway.
ZenToday at 4:21 PM
maybe not that moment i thought it came up, but we had agreed on it the other day
oh last week?
yeah that's different
there was a miscommunication
nanadarlingToday at 4:21 PM
It just seems like some people want things more than others and push hard enough to make things happen.
And that's sad to see, like I said.
ZenToday at 4:22 PM
i do a lot of push back tbh
nanadarlingToday at 4:22 PM
I mean, I don't care much about who wants me out and who wants me in, I just have my opinions on the way things are run as a whole. That inconsistency is bad.
ZenToday at 4:22 PM
That's fair
nanadarlingToday at 4:22 PM
Doesn't change the outcome.
ZenToday at 4:22 PM
we're working on it
nanadarlingToday at 4:22 PM
And you're humans.
I'm just upset at the way it was done.
And being blamed for things completely out of my hands.
ZenToday at 4:24 PM
I'm sorry
nanadarlingToday at 4:24 PM
It's not just you, I'm not even blaming you. It's just really shitty.
ZenToday at 4:24 PM
yeah, i feel you tho
nanadarlingToday at 4:25 PM
I also wasn't fond of the way I was spoken to in ROR.
Basically being accused of bullying someone I'd already spoken to and reassured.
Who is also my friend.
ZenToday at 4:25 PM
who did she say you were bullying?
nanadarlingToday at 4:26 PM
Gray.
ZenToday at 4:26 PM
oh
nanadarlingToday at 4:26 PM
Flat out, if you go back and read it, she said I was being demodded for that and Gray was like, totally fine with me and speaking to me in DMs.
ZenToday at 4:26 PM
it wasn't the @ gray stuff per se, it was more that charlie asked you to stop like 4-5 times
nanadarlingToday at 4:26 PM
He also reached out to Tim and they're also totally fine/friends.
Yeah, but the way that was done wasn't cute either.
Don't tell me to chill in a public channel.
ZenToday at 4:27 PM
he did try in ROR to talk to you
nanadarlingToday at 4:27 PM
But by then he'd already been nasty in the middle of mod business.
So I wasn't here to play either.
ZenToday at 4:28 PM
:thinkingrick:
nanadarlingToday at 4:28 PM
I love Charlie and he's one of my best friends and we're cool now too, but it's stuff like that that made me question wtf I was doing on the team anyway.
ZenToday at 4:28 PM
yeah i get you
nanadarlingToday at 4:28 PM
Like, don't silence people just because they're not at the executive level.
What I was saying would have been explained if I wasn't being told to shut up.
If I, as a mod did that, it wouldn't have been tolerated, no?
Like, overall, the executive level needs to exist just to keep things running, but at the core, we're supposed to be a team.
Lately, it hasn't been a team effort.
It just seems like anyone who speaks their mind or tries to put in their two cents gets demoted.
ZenToday at 4:30 PM
that's not true at all
the people who get demoted don't put their two cents in usually
nanadarlingToday at 4:30 PM
I think if you stuck with people for longer that the team would more easily act like a team.
ZenToday at 4:30 PM
it's the too quiet too timid ones
nanadarlingToday at 4:30 PM
That's just my opinion.
I get that, but there's gotta be a happy mediu,m.
This was basically my last straw. When I snapped, I snapped hard.
ZenToday at 4:31 PM
we do work with people, but if there's something we've talked about like multiple times and they're pissing users off, there's not much we should do other than demote
like i'm working individually with a handful of the mods
nanadarlingToday at 4:31 PM
That's the other thing.
I asked for specific examples, and like, why should things in the past be used against me?
Especially when I asked for opinions from you and Charlie before saying things, etc.
Nobody ever told me in the moment my tone needed shifting, or I shouldn't be doing things.
It seems like everyone just let it happen and then after the fact it was like, a laundry list of things I did wrong apparently.
Which, to be honest, doesn't seem fair.
ZenToday at 4:34 PM
It's hard figuring out how to give certain kinds of feedback
I'm learning as I go but i never intended to teach people this stuff
nanadarlingToday at 4:34 PM
I mean, it still would have been nice.
ZenToday at 4:34 PM
yknow??
woops
yknow?*
nanadarlingToday at 4:34 PM
I feel you
But it's just like...how am I being punished for things I wasn't even told about?
ZenToday at 4:35 PM
yeah i get it and i keep trying to figure out how to give people feedback
nanadarlingToday at 4:35 PM
It just seems ridiculously unfair.
ZenToday at 4:35 PM
i get that
nanadarlingToday at 4:36 PM
It's like if all of a sudden you banned a user for something they'd been doing, but never warned for, previously.
At that point, it's a moderation issue, more so than a user issue, no?
Does that make sense?
ZenToday at 4:37 PM
i think so