Thread 23: Stories 76-90

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>Maud
"Sombra"

~~~~~

"Hello again, Maud Pie."

>Oh, I remember you. How did you get here?

"I asked your sister Pinkie for assistance."

>Pinkamena, she's here? That's great. Well how can I help you?"

"I'm in need of some of your finest rocks.

>What kind of rocks are you looking for?

"Golem stones."

The mare was about to reply before suddenly reaching into her pocket and pulling out a familiar stone.

>Boulder says that the last time we sold you Golem stones, they were used in nefarious ways.

Sombra winced slightly and nodded.

"I completely understand but that is not why I need them now."

>...Boulder says you have said that before.

"I know but this is really important."

>Boulder said you have said that before as well.

"Boulder, old friend, I need these stones. They are the only suitable medium I would even consider using for..."

>...Boulder says go on.

"I need them to help me regain my body. So I may finally live again... and eventually... die again."

>...

"..."

>Boulder says he understands your desire for mortality. Even the ageless stones will come to an end at some point. To deny you that would be onerous. You will have your stones.

"Thank you, old friend."

Maud stared at the stone in her hoof for a moment waiting for a reply before her eyes glassed over.

+I do not do this for you Sombra...+

The sudden change in voice made Sombra float back in surprise. The gravelly voice sounded just like the groaning earth during an earthquake.

+I know what you are attempting... and you will be called to account. For all the unspeakable horrors you've committed, and dark ancient powers you have abused.+

Sombra trembled slightly as memories flashed before his eyes.

+You may desire a new vessel Sombra, but true judgement stand in your path and you may find yourself... lacking in merit.+

>I-I know what I have done, and I know I have changed for the better!

+We shall see. Succeed and we will meet again. Fail... and we both will know the truth.+
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anon-debatable
>Twilight
~~~
An old research diary of Twilight's, thought long since lost since her purging of her lab.
>Research Journal number thirty six: I am currently investigating the concepts of 'magical radiation'. It's long been known that sufficient amounts of magic used in an area over time will charge an area or object with weak to strong levels of a sort of 'magical fallout' which can be harvested. A similar theory is used in enchanting objects. But what if we took it a step further? what if we could concetrate the effect of an enchantment into some form of tonic which could then 'irradiate' or rather 'infuse the spell' into a pony? Earth ponies would gain all the powers of a unicorn with a sip of a drink! I will investigate this in earnest.
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>Chrysalis
"Harshwhinny"
'???'
~~~~

>...What the hell is this supposed to be?

"It's a form, and your tone and dialog is highly unprofessional."

>I know what a form is, I'm wondering why strangers are coming up to me and shoving them in my face.

"Your lack of research is horrifying! I am the examiner for the Equestrian Games!"

>Oh?

"Prince Shining Armor sent me word you were to be allowed entrance. You still wish to compete, do you not?"

>So long as it is still on.

"Yes, well, it's delays due to damages caused by a certain SOMEONE'S kind will not deter it from coming to fruition! I will not be the one who chose the location only to have them cancelled!... As that would be very unprofessional, you see."

>So, I just fill out one of these and I'm in?

"No! I must examine every single contestant you enter due to your tardiness in entry. I expect you to have at least one team ready to present for the bow and arrow competition soon. Good day!"

>.......Crud. Can any of them shoot a bow?

'My Queen! AJ 71 has locked himself in the freezer again, and his tongue is stuck to the door.'

>...And she wants me to arm these guys.

'Also... we think 11 might have been arrested. Again.'

>...Shit.
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>Pennywise
"PR Dept"
---------

>Alright, impress me.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wlpNb8jARcw Cant find the theme on it's own, so just ignore the voice.
-5-
-4-
-3-
-2-
-Blip-

Are you tired of being second class?

Always being passed over for somebody "more qualified"?

Been moved to the "B-Team" recently?

Then Fawntaine futuristics has the answer!

Introducing the new Artificial Alicorn Augments!
The latest and greatest in equestrian self improvement technology!

Now you can be the one who wins that race, gets that promotion or wins the affection of that special someone.

Dont delay, start living your life the AAA way.

-Cut-

"Well, what do you think?
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nc addition

>Shining
“Pinkie Pie”
_______

As Sombra floated in-between his two companions, silent with heavy contemplation, they could do nothing but stare forward.

>I…

“Huh.”

>Did she really…?

“It's funny. I'm capable of breaking the fourth wall, communicating with our writers, and popping out of toilets with no prior indication to ever climbing in one and still, that just… wow.”

>Her eyes, though…

“Is it possible that I, Pinkie Pie, am speechless?”

>Did the rock possess her or…?

“Naaaaah! Hey, Maudy! That was sooooo cool! Show me how you did that!”

>You’d think that after all that’s happened, I’d lose my ability to be surprised. Nope. Still slack-jawed.
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>Hell, Imagine Chitania with the abilities of an Alicorn for a second.

>My wings are so pretty!
>...THIS MAKES ME SO ANGRY!
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>Applejack
“Spike”
‘Arana’
-Random Ponies-

>Alright. This has got t’ stop. Now.

“Huh? What does? The work? Pft, I’m starting to think this pile is infinite….”

>Not the pile, sugarcube… Ah got like, eight hats on top a’ mah head.

“Well, yeah. The first seven didn’t blow you up so she has to keep trying.”

‘Sciddy told me that what I lack in carnivorous attitude, I make up for in perseverance!’

“And she wasn’t lying, Ara.”

‘Yay!’

>Nope, that does it. Shoulda done this a long time ago.

“Done what?”

>Spike, get the bag.

“Bag for what…?”

~~~~~~~~

“Holy crap, look at all these bits! There must be at least two or three hundred so far!”

>Ah knew this would be a good idea.

‘Hey! Don’t just sell my bombs off like that! Someone might get h- wait, excuse me, ma’am! That’s a dangerous weapon you’re buying!’

-OMIGOSH IT’S SO CUTE! I’LL TAKE THREE MORE!-

‘Wh-what? I- no, listen! They could go off at any moment!’

-FIVE MORE!-

-Do these socks come in a festive red, by chance?-

-THESE HOOF WARMERS HAVE RUINED ME! BUT I'M WARM AND SNUGGLY AND I DON'T CARE!-

“You’re a genius, applebutt.”

>Ah try.

‘I’m gonna have the death of so many on my legs….’
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>Let's fly to the castle!
>SO I CAN KILL ALL YOUR GODS!
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>I'm a Queen, are you a Queen too?
>GOOD! THEN I'LL KICK YOUR FUCKING ASS!
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>Chitania
~~~
Stares at the toy after testing it

>You know, I'm both really pissed off at this, but I'm really impressed they captured me so wel- Hey, is my butt really that big or is this just a proportions thing?
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>56

~~~~~

It took four specially signed documents and a hoof promise to be on his best behavior but 56 was finally in the Canterlot toy store and racing down the third aisle.

>THEY WEREN’T LYING, IT’S HERE IN STOCK!

Like it was precious cargo, he carefully picked up the limited edition Chitania figurine, the one with the expansive rear and nuzzled it against his cheek.

>56, you’ve hit a new low right here, almost licking the plot of a some doll… but oh well! It’s the closest I’m ever gonna be! C’mon, my big-rumped beauty, let’s get to the check out li-

Price tag: 250 bits.

>Nope.
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>Evil execs
~~~
Meanwhile, at the fortress of torment- I mean Game Workshop

>The Chitania figure is selling like hotcakes and making us millions!

>What should we do next, boss?

>... We make it smaller by half, use cheaper materials that break easily, make it come unpainted to push our paints line, and finally, we jack up the price to three hundred bits.

>... Your brilliance knows no bounds!
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