[quote=jake8]sorry for getting back to ya so late...employment stuff.

that's the sensativity that I'm talking about. Social norms, and the praise/critism, is just apart of the game...the game that allows folks to sleepwalk through life.

I'm glad you're starting to see this. Just my opinion, but the "blank and freeze" (I'm calling it this from now on...blank expression and freezing) is what reinforces the sensativity since doing this breaks all social norms. Humans don't do well when social norms are broken as they no longer have a framework to do the thinking for them, so they freak. Seriously, to prove this...stare at someone right in the eyes when you're blank and observe them and their body language. They'll get uncomfortable, ignore you, squirm, then get pissed.

So, the blank and freeze does nothing but reconfirm that the world and its inhabitants are hostile and will encroach upon you. Its not so...in fact learning a few social norms while faking a smile is a great weapon and the perfect tool to keep them away.

yeah and there's nothing really wrong with that. That one thing/hobby/relation that you enjoy doesn't have to be exactly like what normies do, just as long as its sincere and won't reinforce apathy. I hope that makes sense.

instead of apatheticlly letting your dog hang with others you could find an alternate. I used to walk my dog (in reality she ran me, akita/husky). Anyways, I'd take her to a field and let her loose and run. I learned to really enjoy doing this and it was still me spending "quality time" with her and it was an excuse to get outside and do something (not reinforcing apathy).

[quote]No, I have tried faking a smile with normies, but the only real way to do that is to get detached with original using the imagination I'm dividing my self splitting my personality transforming into the other individual and it does take a while for the effect to occur that I think that I enjoy being other people when noises gets my stress hormone and forced interaction gets my stress hormone raging to the point where my arm will be harmed. It takes a lot of effort for this to happen. Took me about 3-4 months. [/quote]No offense, but lol. Chances are you'll always be detached and I'm laughing because I'm saying that that's okay. Just the way to really be alone is to learn how to summon the energy to keep people away, make sense?

Take me for instance: I"ve stated this earlier but I have a blend of PD's (ASPD/NPD/SPD) and I pass, seriously. So, the more I pretend to be attached and emotionally available for more affect I can show, the more I can manipulate (for good, bad, or keeping them away). Yet nobody really sees that there is nothing but a sincere and unnerving layer of emptiness underneath it all. Its none of their business, but the appearance of normal is what keeps me from being a target.

Losing affect was like ripping my mask off for all to see, and they did become relatively hostile.

Exactly, so let's face it...if you're like me apathy will always be there to an extent...its more of the question of keeping it at a decent level. Some days, like weekends, I'll bask in it until the boredom summons to me to do something. You sound like you're not that fortunate, so you have to manually shut the apathy off by doing something...anything. Thus the importance of something that you really "care" about, because gradually you will care about this one thing, and that might allow you to care about something else. Then, hopefully, you'll be able to show more affect which will allow to deflect socialization much better. So, its more of an endgame strategy with a short term loss.

Hope that makes sense and that you find this useful.[/quote]