Big sized disciple

Big sized disciple
As the name suggests mc has a big sized pp lol. Fckking hell I am impotant infornt of him dude . Ngl. This shit gives me PTSD that I will never satisfy anyone naw that's true bro. I don't know but there is pressure coming from inside telling me that you need to be an ideal man who take care of all the stuffs and has lots of lots of fcking stamina. ⚰️ Me ded bro. I know harem for me is never even in entire life is possible for me because of my impotant and fck how I am . I am even not confident enough that I can't  fcking get 1 member also lol. It's not pessimist thoughts it's true tho.and the thing is that I also don't wanna. Idk why but those type of feelings come though gasp moments and then they vanish away. I just don't know and confused what I truly want. But I know my goal earn money give money to parents at least write what ever fortune I made to older sister and live somewhere else and die. That's my thought process I don't know if they will support me or not. Because of this thought process from smoll age I was kinda different I guess. Like thinking about future.
E.g :- when I was smoll my mom showed us her giftes which she gotten from her parents and from weddings. When she opened it there were many items house holds
My thoughts process at that time was no need to use it now and waste it in future who knows what our financial condition will be we can use it to at least get some food. Or to at least give it towards my older sister marriage.
But when I told them that we shouldn't use it now and later store them for future. They misunderstood me and thought I wanted to say "don't use it , it's for my wife and for my marriage" but I never wanted anything. And it's just hurts it fcking hurts in the heart. Ngl even thinking about it automatically makes tear come out of my eyes. Idk why.
Same case with house;- they are building house,and saying that don't fight with your older sister about the division of the land. I mean why why would I I never wanted any of that. If I am a male I will buy my own land and make my own house rather than taking others. That's always was the case that's why I never wanted things from others nor do I want to give things to others. Because if I gave something no one's returns it and I don't like to beg and ask for them to return my own product. Because when what if I need that stuff importantly with me right in the moment then how will I use it. And that's why I was misunderstood everytimes. It never hurts if my intensions were like this but it's hurts because they get my intensions wrong as I never thought about that in reality. I would have felt more good if I really did what they want but I don't wanna. Do. Because at the end of the day I will die nakedly only.
These thoughts these writings these history will it make any difference at the end of the day?. Does this more prove that I am the NPC of an story and author has forgotten to write my story ( you can say that's why your like an white canvas you can make your own path). But it's not that easy. The canvas needs something sturdy to be painted upon on isn't it. Umm idk why I got emotional at the moment of these thing lol.
But  the artist of the prnhwa is damn good ngl
The fcking expressions and art dude. The gals are also cute.
Let's give you some plot in nutshell:- mc got big pp already made 3-4 girlfriend the pp was big they get scared, breakup. Bud joined as a nurse, found one old rich guy saw his big pp and style to pleasure gal. He approached him to become his disciple. The old mam hesitated but taken him. Then slowly slowly he trained him with his side chick and he approached the first heroine. Then again some leanring he approached 2nd heroine who was scared of males. Then they did so sax that she is now not scared and became a pervert because as her fear was ended she feared that mc will discontinue the training with her (sax to relieve the male problem of her) so she asked the side chick of the old man and as the mc and the side chick did sax . The side chick helped her by makein her pervert like using vibrator and using bondage ropes to tie her up lol.Then came the 3rd heroine the child hood firned she is smoll but cute as fck. The. 4th heroine the granddaughter of the old man. Lol. The story of the 4th heroine was weird ngl. Because when the heroine was smoll she saw her old man's dck and she thought that it's too big and thought how it could fit her. Then she fantasies about it (literally lol who the fck thinks about their old man saxually literal shit). She was dissapoinyed in future as there was no toeht guy with those size.  Then she fou d our mc who had the same or not the bigger vairent literally man wtf. And did sax with him. The old man got to know about this and wanted to kill him (jokingly) (our MC's grandmother was lover of old man but when old man was in army she married different male) and then our mc made an empire in her name. So he wanted to make him the heritage enjoyer . Then his grand daughter or the 4th heroine found out about it and bashed a car where mc was held captive and thereatned her old man that she will never talk to him. Mc made an desicion where he was asked to never see her or the 4th heroine but mc declined. The old man then said you passed all the test and now your free from these trainings. Mc and 4th heroine then did came together did sax for body healing (idk hwk that shit works but it's utterly BS). And then she proposed that they should get married which caught mc off guard.fhe she explained that she will not take place of any other she will just stay legally married in name. But in reality all the heroines will be married to him lol. It was perfect
It ended in there harem sax and mc being the CEO of the hospital with the help of old man.
It was 9/10 ngl the art made +1 for me  and also the expression and cute chubby girls
Lol enjoyed it fully today is 20th -03-25 12:48 am. Tomorrow is Friday and minor project 2nd viva shit about our website lol.
Byee logging off

Question:
Does writing review and reading prnhwa doing anything good to me ?
But when everyone on the family was against . Me and I was in trying times to just leave this life these prnhawa and anime acted like a second parent and held me closer.