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HoratioZEDU

Coffee

Jun 5th, 2018
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  1. Number Ten:
  2.  
  3.  
  4. The question's not "how to drink coffee", but rather, when?
  5.  
  6. When the clock strikes two, coffee time is for you!
  7.  
  8. I'm thinking the morning but- I guess it's fine in the afternoon.
  9.  
  10.  
  11. Number Nine:
  12.  
  13.  
  14. Coffee's good, but do you know what's better? Wine.
  15.  
  16. Contains no caffeine and definitely not a bean,
  17.  
  18. but it's the only drink that's coloured aquamarine
  19.  
  20.  
  21. Numero Eight:
  22.  
  23.  
  24. Coffee's great, but it won't fit on a plate.
  25.  
  26. Freeze your fresh brew, and this is a strange thing to do:
  27.  
  28. Bite into it with your incisors. Now a dentist's appointment is due.
  29.  
  30.  
  31. Number Seven:
  32.  
  33.  
  34. Unfortunately for you, your dentist lives in Devon!
  35.  
  36. No matter, it's time to go. How will you get there?
  37.  
  38. Oh, I don't know: Drive a car.
  39.  
  40.  
  41. Number Six:
  42.  
  43.  
  44. For some arcane reason, you tried to eat bricks.
  45.  
  46. I don't know why, but at this point I know- you should just die.
  47.  
  48. To hell with the road trip, just cast your gaze to the sky.
  49.  
  50.  
  51. Number Five:
  52.  
  53.  
  54. These are your final moments alive!
  55.  
  56. Life never prepared you for what is nigh.
  57.  
  58. To this cruel world, you bid goodbye.
  59.  
  60.  
  61. Number Four:
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  63.  
  64. Lock the car door and settle the score.
  65.  
  66. However, at your time of death or moments before:
  67.  
  68. Your dentist arrives, covered in sores.
  69.  
  70. What could have happened to this dental expert of yore?
  71.  
  72.  
  73. Number Three:
  74.  
  75.  
  76. There are so many ways to drink your coffee.
  77.  
  78. Why don't you read up on them, or instead, eat toffee?
  79.  
  80. Toffee is sugary, butchery and doesn't contain wood debris.
  81.  
  82. I bet your dentist would agree.
  83.  
  84.  
  85. Number Two:
  86.  
  87.  
  88. Change your coffee's hue. Add white food colouring to your home brew.
  89.  
  90. It's sure to shift the mood when your guests are quite rude:
  91.  
  92. "What did you do this coffee, dude?"
  93.  
  94.  
  95. Number One:
  96.  
  97.  
  98. Coffee's fun, but what about a real gun?
  99.  
  100. Load a single bullet, and point it at your gullet.
  101.  
  102. Wave goodbye to all who are beloved and as for the trigger: pull it.
  103.  
  104. Coffee is still famous, even after you've died.
  105.  
  106. Have you ever tried a drink so popular worldwide?
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