ATannie- Harem Rifle Story- Chapter 1/2

>yesterday was a good day
>you worked the early shift, and could spend a lot of time at the rifle range, now that you finally felt that you had the "big 4" when it came to milsurp rifles
>all rounded up with weapon cleaning and soft jazz music
>okay, maybe you went a bit hard on the jack and coke, but that has never killed anyone, right?
>today was good as well, since late shift means not having to go to work until about lunchtime
>surprisingly, today was good aswell
>no retards to bother you at work, no manager seeing how far up your ass he can go, and not that irritating fucking bimbo with plastic lips
>fuck 'em all
>they are all long away from you
>feeling very satisfied with yourself, you turn the lights of, check the windows before you leave the building and lock the door
>lock
>the
>door

>fuck, don't tell me i forgot to lock the gun cabinet
>the odd chance of a burglar does not worry you too much, considering the neighbors
>but if the rifles figured out they have had the house to themselves, its gonna look like Dresden
>w-what if someone calls the police on them and...
>further thinking is interrupted by the purring of an engine, and some swift movements
>you race home, hoping for the best, but mentally preparing for a warzone
>outside looks just like you left it
>slowly and as silently as possible you turn the key in the front door
>you sneak in
>kitchen is okay
>there is a pillow fort in the living room
>and most of your dvd collection is on the floor
>noo

>you are pretty sure you didn't build a pillow fort last night
>and you never leave your dvd like this, ever
>further evidence that this could be the rifles work is that the "romcom", "comedy" and "guilty pleasure" sections of the dvd collection are untouched while the war-movies are scattered all over the place
>just as you are about to go into your own room, you catch the empty bottles from last night
>did you rally drink three on your own?
>...shit
>well, only one place left to check in the house
>you open the door to the second largest room in the house, with your bed, computer and gun safes in
>half a second too late you realize this door makes a horrible screeching noise of opened slowly
>the sound is loud and extends down your spine, completely destroying any and all sneeki-breeki elements of this mission
>there are four girls on your bed
>they are lying very much in an on top of each other manner, since the bed isn't actually that big
>because of the traitor of a door, you now have eight eyes staring deep into your soul
>there is about half a second of silence befo-

ANON'S HOME!

>much like the little dog you had when you were small, that approached you with the speed of an anti-ship missile, even if you only left the house to buy some food, the girls hop out of the bed and launch themselves at you
>even before you get here, you decided if they actually had got out of the cabinet, you would have to be very strict and tell them its not okay

>but, since you are now being assaulted with hugs from three directions, you quickly come to the conclusion that that could wait just a minute
>this is three and not four, because enfield, who had the (mis)fortune of laying at the bottom of the pile, simply cant get around the other three girls
>moments like this make everything you spent on them worth it
>you feel yourself almost melting
>just as the last sip of air escapes your lungs, you managed to get them off you

>you guys look like you've had fun?

ANON. we've had a skirm... erm, debate here when you were gone

>the tall-ish, black haired girl is mosin, and it wouldn't surprise you if she started this little conflict. she's never been afraid of conflicts, and she does certainly not have a glass jaw

Kar said she is the best rifle here, but she is wrong!

>your Kar98k was the most expensive of your rifles. you bought it from and old woman who's husband took her home from the war. But due to being an outsider, she was rarely fired, and was in absolutely perfect condition. you almost felt bad after driving her home, the poor old woman had no idea how much money she could have gotten if she spoke to the right people
>but now, she's yours, and you were even flirting with the wehraboo zone first time you took her to the range

But i am!

>she sounds like she's trying to explain the superiority of the Leopard 2 over a lawnmower

Well, is that why Berlin looked like ruins?

>this is gonna take a while...

>the mention of berlin makes makes her very upset, and takes a massive breath, as if she was given this breath alone to say everything wrong with attacking a country from three directions

stop it you two! i've been with anon since he was little, so you should both be quiet!

>the slender figure with bottomless wells for eyes steps in between them. Your old M1903 is right, you fired her first time when you were only 14 and she was first personal gun. She'd spent most of your youth as something hanging on a wall, but since you showed an interest in firearms, she was given to you as a "you've graduated from .22" rifle. god knows she was shy at first, almost never leaving her rifle form. Now with the time you've spent together, she has grown very attached to you

you know you are supposed to improve the design after stealing it from another gun!

>ah, yes. well played Kar, you are totally helping this situation unfold

>both mosin and Sonia, that you lovingly refer the old 1903 as when no one else is around turn towards the rather smug looking German and say loudly in unison:

BERLIN
IN
RUINS

>you figure most arguments would end like this, since the 98 is very close to perfect as far as bolt action rifles go, but you are going to get killed if you say that here
>once again, a large breath is inhaled, this time interrupted by a girl with long blond hair, ever so gently shoving them aside, and taking a deep breath herself
>ahh, yes. magazine capacity

>enfield doubles the other rifles magazine capacity of 5 rounds, and while she can be a bit shy about it outside, she is very happy to inform you and the other rifles about this
>and that shirt is showing a lot of clev- NO don't stare, this is going to get you killed aswell
>she has taken up a bit more of a motherly role here, and is usually a little more laid back than the other girls, but given circumstances like this, she's a little to proud to avoid this conflict
>mosin is a little hot-tempered is is the first to reply

THAT'S NOT FAIR. you cant just shove your tits up someones face and get what you want!

>actually...

if your dear comrade could grow enough food to feed his people, maybe you could eat something and grow yours a little?

>damnit why did you have to say that

this makes both enfield and Kar laugh at the increasingly angry russian girl

BRAVE WORDS FROM SOMEONE WHO HAS NEVER SEEN BLOOD, i will tell you what happened in the great partio-

>IF YOU DON'T STOP THIS RIGHT NOW I'LL JUST GO THE THE PISTOL RANGE TOMORROW
>gee, finally

so we're not good enough for you now?

>fuck, this backfired

do you like your little glock-chan more than us? carrying her around all day long

>...and you gonna spend the night in the safe with m/38
>complete and utter silence
>the embarrassed apology of the quartet is mostly mumbling, but they understand the severity of the situation

>m/38 was actually gifted to you a year or so ago, but for one reason or another you've not fired her so much
>she's from sweden, and while you've never actually seen her leave rifle form, you have been informed she is VERY fond of the other four girls, the the point you cant sleep if they spend the night in the same safe
>well, you did once, and they all and had about half a gallon of water each as soon as they got out of the cabinet and collapsed shortly after that

>your short thinking break is interrupted by Kar

can you make us dinner?

>actually this is a good idea, you've had fuck all to eat today

>oh come on, you guys don't even HAVE to eat

no, but we want to!

>damnit, your economy is so much easier if i have to make food for one instead of five

i think you should make us pancakes

>what Enfield just did was not too unlike informing a small child she is maybe going to get that pony she's been nagging on about for years
>she giggles softly, as the other three do their very best attempts at puppy-dog eyes. They are very good
>the mere thought of having to say no and disappoint all of them at this point is more uncomfortable than sharing toothbrush with a hobo

>alright, you win. pancakes it is

>you are once again overwhelmed with very, very happy noises and drowned in hugs
>they all rush down, cheering and laughing
>this is gonna be a long night
>before you're even in the kitchen they have grabbed their plates

>i have to make them first damnit
>for a sweet, delusional second, you actually think the thought of pancakes will make the stop fighting each other
>the you remember the fights you had with your brother and sisters about who was going to get the first pancake
>they all have been longing for it
>they all want it
>they all will fight each over it
>your... first pancake
>fuck, how do you solve this?
>this this what being the UN feels like?
>you step your game up, and starts dual wielding those frying pans, like a bad 80s cop movie

>many thing sin your life has been rewarding. that first kiss, finishing the restoration of dads old car, but for sheer butterflies in your stomach, not many things approach giving each one of them a large, brown-gold, THICC pancake

>wait a second!

whaa...?

>and if this couldn't get any better (for them) they are now being introduced to a 20oz bottle of syrup

>the clinking of cutlery against the plates is mixed with moaning noises you are very pleased with having achieved on four girls simultaneously and from a range of several yards away
>happily, their apatite isn't that big, and they seem to be quite knocked out and even somewhat unwilling to move now
>sadly, there isn't enough eggs for any food for you, so you decide on a cheap noodle box
>they are very docile right now, so you decide on watching a bit of TV, after clearing up the pillow fort
>not long after, you are being confronted by them yet again
>oh, its gonna be the "best spot in the couch" thing again

>the who is-gonna sit-where debate is one of those things you are very unsure of
>you don't at all like them fighting with each other...
>but then again, they are fighting about who is gonna sit next to you

anon! you have to make the rules here!

>Kar is unhappy, because she feels she had to sit too far away last time in the couch
>while enfield is the most mature of the four, she's never ever heard of the phrase "don't take the bait" and is actually responding to mosins teasing
>sonia is trying to sneak around the other side, and you feel another 20 minute discussion about seating isn't going anywhere

>first come, first ser-

>Kar and mosin take their chases and throw themselves at you, each flanking you, and wrapping their arms around your chest just to make sure you don't go anywhere
>sonia did see you are sitting with somewhat spread legs and decided your lap was a good place to sit
>enfield isn't as fast and has to make do with sitting in front of the couch between your legs on top of a pillow
>you do manage to extend your arm enough to reassuringly ruffle her hair a little bit, just to make sure she doesn't think she's forgotten
>one by one they fall asleep
>getting up and going to your own bed seems like it wont happen, but hey, there are worse places to sleep

>a voice returns you to the land of the concious

anon, sometimes when you shoot me, you have your mouth open a little, and you drool on me. but i drool a little aswell when you fire me fast. heh

>it was most likely mosins idea with taking your jack, and it seemed she had more than her share
>you actually spent a few weeks alone two years ago, buying her on a roadtrip you did with some friends up north
>she actually tasted blood on that trip, it maybe only a deer, but she turned shortly afterwards and spent an hour in fetal position mumbling "not more" after that
>she took a while to calm down, and it did include promises of strong drinks, lots on fondling and cleaning and a refurbished stock
>and a promise was made, only to use to kill if your life was at risk or if the nation was under attack, she opened up more to you
>she was worth all that, because she can actually be really homely when it's just the two of you, but she is little hot tempered among the others sometime
>you don't actually think she wants to, but that is what is to be expected of her

you know it can be a little boring without you here anon, when we go shooting its always so far away, and there so many others. there is so much waiting. and the others are to boring to drink anything. well a little, but not enough for fun.

>you are not really comfortable with where this is going

>im gonna have to do something about that, mosin. i'll figure something out tomorrow, okay? But right now, we should sleep

mmmhh...

>Mosin sleeps to your right. Kar on your left. Sonia lying on Kar with her head in your lap, and enfield is resting just below. all is quiet

>you can live with this

>It is with a heavy heart you make them turn back into wood-and-metal form and gently place them inside their respective (and foam-padded) places in the cabinet
>you close the doors and with a touch of regret you turn the key and place them in your front left pocket
>you're not even sure they can hear you now, but you still say goodbye to them, just to be sure.
>down to the car
>as far as physical objects go, you like it almost as much as your rifles. almost
>away to earn some shekels, you have many mouths to feed
>this is friday, meaning the office is flooding with mouthbreathers
>you spend more time than you'd like to admit figuring out how you would take out an opposing force attacking the office, and daydream about pie-slicing, tight pants, cosmoline and enfields rack
>you are rudely interrupted by a phonecall
>...
>as it turns out, a friend need a letter opened. he is on vacation and cant get to it himself, so he asks for your help, he just needs an account number so he can pay a bill or something
>a plan forms
>after a little bit of pleading, you now have his permission to stay there overnight and use his shooting range. Far away from pretty much everything
>you know a bunch who are going to be really happy about this. sooo happy
>quick stop by the LGS to pick up some food. 30-06, 8mm mauser, 7.62x54r, .303... and that is a box of 6.5mm mauser. should i bring it along aswell? you still consider the swede as "it" since you've not actually seen her yet

>you decide money id for faggots and buy yourself some 6.5 aswell. i mean you cant have an inanimate firearm in your house, who even does that?
>and this, you figure in the best way to get her out of her shell
>pop the bag of rifle food in the car, get some food for yourself and head home
>some quick maths tell you that you are going to have almost 90 pounds of rifles to lug around if they don't feel like walking themselves. you ponder if you are going to solve this with charms, bribes or threats?
>fuck that, this is going to be fun
>assemble a little BoB, just the necessities
>all else is loaded into the car
>now for the rifles
>you go into your room, still unsure if they can hear you now or not
>you open the door (dont worry, no prehistoric reptiles were walked in the making of this story) to the cabinet
>its a bit of a tight fit in there, so you put them on your bed, they always seem to be a little more comfortable to turn when you are not looking, so you leave the room pretending to fetch something
>turning back, they all sit on the side of the bed, with expressions ranging from tired to eagerness to do something
>we're going to go to a rifle range
>innawoods
>like teaching a dog a codeword for "take a walk", the word innawoods is like a reverse trigger to these girls
>over the weekend
>once again you are assaulted by cheering noises and hugs... and a somewhat inappropriate touch you could't really identify
>... and were taking M/38 along
>dissapointment

>you have sown 4 soft cloth bags that you can put the rifles in, a bit like a one-rifle, soft range bag, so you don't have to deal with soccermoms getting offended over your beloved rifles
>as long as you are on relatively populated roads, they have to stay in their bags.
>they wont fit in the trunk of your old car, so they are going in the back seat instead
>M/38 needs a one aswell, but for the moment being, a towel will have to do
>and off we go
>some hours and you pull over to let the girls out of their bags (god that sounds wrong)
>within a minute, they are all out and stretching their legs

can i go in the front seat anon?

>you didn't even a second believe this discussion wasn't going to happen
>it's just just status thing, the car is a rather small 2-door sedan and the back seat is not very big at all. And due to their rifle nature, these are not exactly small framed girls

M: i'm actually the tallest of us, so i should sit in front!
>by how much? you cant tell any real difference
K: but you sat there last time!
>okay, so that mea-
E: you are so thin, you could easily sit in the back!
>enfield looks amazing in a seatbelt
S: but i've been in the back all week!
>that is not strictly true...
MKE: YOU SAT IN THE FRONT THIS MONDAY
>called it
S:but that was long ago!

>awww, they look so adorable when they go on like this
>fuck, you said that out loud

NO WE DON'T

>they suddenly realize the only way to win this is with your help

MKSE: ANOOOOON!

>augh...

cont.