Mummy's Mask 5- Not Barrage apparently.

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Thrice has connected.
Agi has connected.
tirkaroKujo:
A stone sarcophagus rests atop a stone platform occupying the southern end of this room. The lid of the sarcophagus bears the likeness of a man and is inlaid with gemstones and trimmed in gold. Two lacquered benches run parallel to the east and west walls just north of the platform. Hieroglyphs line the walls of the chamber, and stone torch holders are set in all four corners.

Dharc:
Fuck this nigga yo

Dharc:
Perfect Dharc over here steps up to the tomb and tries to pry the damn thing open

Mistral:
"Were we not just here to handle the Adherer...? I believe we were supposed to report back."

Dharc:
"They did not say not to rob the sarcophagus."
tirkaroKujo:
Inside of the sarcophagus is the mummified body of some dude, as well as a small cat mummy, typically placed to ward off intruders. And do that it does, as you are forced to roll a will save.

Dharc:
"It's practically our job at this point. Actually, it is our job, to the letter."

Dharc:
19
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tirkaroKujo:
you overcome the main effect of the trap and are instead just shaken for one round, which is entirely pointless bc nothing is really fighting you at the moment
Thrice:
insert wario land joke here
tirkaroKujo:
Besides this mummified guardian, the sarcophagus contains a gold funerary mask, and a gold-and-turquoise scarab pendent. Also around the body are several small stones.

Dharc:
"Geh...what's wrong with this thing? But..No! Fear will never overcome me! That I expect."

Dharc:
"All right...Detect Magic! I won't be fooled again. There's gotta be something to mess with me here..."

Mistral:
Detect Magic I - m
tirkaroKujo:
nothing particularly special about this room other than that funerary guardian that just blasted you in the face with fear

Dharc:
eh he doesn't scayeh me
tirkaroKujo:
you found b30

Mistral:
gonna prepare and swig my Detect Secret Doors extract

Dharc:
"Eh...nothing? That's a little disappointing, if I must be truthful."

Mistral:
"Perhaps not, I'll take a second look around... there may be something hidden from view, again."

Dharc:
"You do that. I'm going to steal this stuff, because that is what I have reduced myself to."

Dharc:
"So...anything? What're you even doing, anyway?"

Mistral:
"Disappointing myself, it seems. Carry on."

Dharc:
"Huh. I thought you were only good at disappointing me. Hidden depths, I guess."
tirkaroKujo:
And so once you reach the top of the steps, spikes begin to emerge from the walls on both sides!
tirkaroKujo:
It seems this trap was activated the moment you first stepped on this plate, and is designed to specifically prevent would be thieves from exiting the tomb. Many ancient Osirian trap designers believed it was better to prevent thieves from escaping rather than to attempt to forbid their entry.
tirkaroKujo:
So yes reflex check all of you

Mistral:
« 1d20+5 = 8 + 5 = 13 » I still think this trap was poorly designed

Dharc:
« 1d20+6 = 3 + 6 = 9 »

Baou:
« 1d20+2 = 4 + 2 = 6 »
tirkaroKujo:
« 1d20+15 = 20 + 15 = 35 » That is the spikes attack rolls, to all of you
tirkaroKujo:
« 1d20+15 = 4 + 15 = 19 »

Mistral:
the FUCK

Dharc:
AND SO ENDS MUMMY'S MASK

Dharc:
#RIP
tirkaroKujo:
http://i.imgur.com/M54Vj5J.png

Dharc:
#PED TO SHREDS
tirkaroKujo:
« 1d8+1d8+1d8+2 = 3 + 7 + 3 + 2 = 15 »

Dharc:
« 15+4 = 15 + 4 = 19 »

Mistral:
Mistral loses 19 hit points.

Dharc:
Dharc loses 14 hit points.

Baou:
Baou loses 19 hit points.

Baou:
-1

Baou:
sadface

Mistral:
get some fuck

Dharc:
Dharc tries to tumble through the spikes, but trips, smashes his head on the ground, and ends up lookin like he just took a stroll through downtown Detroit. "HARFYEH! Who designed this place?! That was the least convenient trap...oh, whatever. How are you two doi---oh. Uselessly, I see."

Mistral:
Not all of us can be born to a fucking Titan

Mistral:
god damn

Dharc:
Dharc rips his ankle free, and loots Mistral's corpse for the wand. "How does this thing work, anyway?" Dharc taps it against his leg a couple times, and tries to figure out how the fuck to use the thing

Dharc:
because cure light wounds is not on my spell list

Mistral:
great.

Dharc:
« 1d20+10 = 16 + 10 = 26 » "Abra...cadabra, oh whatever, just work!" Luckily Use Magic Device is on my skill list

Dharc:
« 1d8+1 = 6 + 1 = 7 »

Mistral:
Mistral is healed and gains 7 hit points.

Mistral:
"Blasted tomb designers... technically, that should not have been as effective as it was..."

Dharc:
"Aw, I was hoping I'd get to kick you awake. They did the most ingenuous thing ever with that trap: design it in the absolute most idiotic way, so that no one would ever suspect it."

Mistral:
« 2d6*1.5 = 5 * 1.5 = 7.5 » heals to the party

Dharc:
"Now, I know I look like a tough guy and all, but this hurts a ton, so do you mind helping a fella out here?"

Dharc:
sweet

Mistral:
Mistral is healed and gains 7 hit points.

Baou:
Baou loses 7 hit points.

Baou:
Baou is healed and gains 14 hit points.

Dharc:
Dharc is healed and gains 7 hit points.

Mistral:
"Another for good measure, in case they armed an artillery strike 500 feet in front of the tomb." « 2d6*1.5 = 5 * 1.5 = 7.5 »

Mistral:
Mistral is healed and gains 7 hit points.

Dharc:
"Aww, thanks! You're such a sweetheart. You know, that doesn't really help the pain much...But at least I can use my ankle."

Dharc:
Dharc is healed and gains 7 hit points.

Baou:
Baou is healed and gains 7 hit points.

Baou:
"RAAGH! I do all the work, and you morons walk me into a...no, not the time. I am leaving. Hopefully, without you."

Mistral:
« 1d8+1 = 7 + 1 = 8 » "Now, now, don't forget you shared in leading the way."

Baou:
Baou is healed and gains 8 hit points.
tirkaroKujo:
So you decide to leave the compound, and report your findings to the big eye dude...assumedly.
tirkaroKujo:
So yeah in B12
tirkaroKujo:
A large staircase climbs to the second floor from this room. Sand and dust cover the floor, and painted columns stand in all but one of the corners. Pieces of broken wood, shattered pottery, and disintegrating fabric litter the room's perimeter.
tirkaroKujo:
In the center of all the rubble seems to be a single ring, the type used as an engagement ring assumedly.

Mistral:
Detect Magic : |

Mistral:
O

Mistral:
*I'm starting to understand these tropes

Mistral:
@ ring of course
tirkaroKujo:
this ring is very very magical it seems

Dharc:
"Ooh, who's getting married?"

Dharc:
"You think it's the eye guy?"

Mistral:
Detect Magic http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/all-spells/d/detect-magic
* Agi rolls secretly to you: « 1d20+6 = 20 + 6 = 26 » Knowledge Arcana => Invalid expression: « 1d20+6 = 20 + 6 = 26 » Knowledge Arcana.
* Thrice rolls secretly to you: « 1d20+8 = 14 + 8 = 22 » Arcana to identify the aura type => Invalid expression: « 1d20+8 = 14 + 8 = 22 » Arcana to identify the aura type.

Mistral:
"I'm not sure where a living eye would wear a ring..."
* Thrice rolls secretly to you: « 1d20+7 = 13 + 7 = 20 » Spellcraft to actually figure out what it does => Invalid expression: « 1d20+7 = 13 + 7 = 20 » Spellcraft to actually figure out what it does.

Dharc:
"Well, why not, right? He's got those tentacle things, right? He can put 'em on that."

Dharc:
"I know, were I a living tentacle-eye monster, I'd be decked out in bling."
You whisper to Agi: This ring is a type of haunting that typically activates itself the moment it gets touched. It gives off a rather powerful and dangerous aura.
You whisper to Thrice: This ring is a type of haunting that typically activates itself the moment it gets touched. It gives off a rather powerful and dangerous aura

Mistral:
"...on second thought, ignore that ring... it's yet another trap. I don't know what I expected"

Dharc:
"Ooh... It's haunted! I guess I knew what I was doing when I didn't notice it on the first way up."

Imanish:
"Ohoho! Looks like you finally made it, I see!"

Dharc:
"Yeah, your guy was kinda weaksauce. Nice try sending us into a trapped pit, though! Almost got us!"

Heshsharu:
The sand monster rematerializes herself. "Yep, and I saw every last bit of it! Got torn up quite a bit at the stairway trap though..."

Mistral:
I'm just gonna stay quiet, slaves don't speak unless they're spoken to, and then ASKED to speak

Imanish:
"Hrph. Typically that trap spells the early end for common thieves. The fact that you got hit by it it shameful enough, but you seem fairly unfazed by it..."

Mistral:
any sort of knowledge I can roll on Imanish

Dharc:
"Well, it was just such an awfully designed trap, I didn't see it coming at all!"

Imanish:
"So you know the deal. You've proven your worth, so you're gonna serve me! And boy what plans do I have for you!"

Mistral:
(Heere we go.)

Dharc:
"Oh? Really? Name 'em!"

Imanish:
"Well, I'm gonna need more breeds of beheaded soon. Typically I go into the living city to corral these foolish mortals and poverty-stricken commoners over the walls of this necropolis to our house for these...experimental purposes."

Dharc:
"Go ooon..."

Imanish:
"But I could always use some help. I've been planning some...bigger things as of late."

Imanish:
"So, what I want you to do this time is simple: Head to the Sanctum of the Erudite Eye!"

Dharc:
"Aha! I knew there was something about that name! So what's the deal with it? It super important?"

Imanish:
"Hmm, a little bit. Previously, I've encountered a group of individuals also interested in this particular tomb, for quite nefarious purposes. They wish to take certain matters into their own hands, and keep the secrets (and treasures) of this sanctum out of the hands of particular nonbelievers..."

Dharc:
"So are we supposed to...take the treasure, then? I mean, that sounds like something I'd do anyway!"

Imanish:
"You may keep the treasure, fine, but what I'm truly interested in is the fact that this tomb may hold the secret to a legendary brand of necromancy...one capable of unleashing a new plague across Wati..."

Imanish:
"Of course, I'll make sure it's not a simple, boring plague like the last one. So long as you entrust this power to me. I'll make it worth your while..."

Dharc:
"Awesome! I have to admit, necromancy is Slavey's area of expertise, not mine, but it can't hurt, right? How do we get to this place, anyway?"

Imanish:
"Of course, in the meantime, I'll still need your help to create more beheaded and vargouille out of Wati's inhabitants. Can never be too prepared."

Imanish:
"Well, the last group who encountered me made it obvious they were going to rig some contest in order for them to be assigned to this accursed place. Once you agree to this, I suppose I can afford to rerig this in your favor, to keep trouble out of your hair and all."

Dharc:
"Wow, you can really do that? How?!"

Imanish:
"I am the great Imanish! I am capable of many things, but especially fooling the foolish mortals such as yourself! Uh....no offense."

Dharc:
"Quite a bit taken! But no, really...just how can you rig it right under that priestess' nose?"

Heshsharu:
"*Yawn* So you're telling me we're not going to put these guys to sleep and devour their flesh and behead them? What a waste of time..."

Dharc:
"Aw, and here I was thinking you were kind of nice! But I see how it is!

Imanish:
"Excuse me, but I am a doru div, tricking these simpletons into doing my bidding is just about my bread and butter, I've been doing this longer than you've known how to recite the alphabet."

Heshsharu:
"I am nice! But only to let people's guards down. Otherwise it's kind of an empty experience..."

Dharc:
"I see! But, uh, how the hell do we GET to this place? That's important!"

Dharc:
"You got a map or something?"

Mistral:
Literally on every corner of Kingmaker

Mistral:
http://41.media.tumblr.com/8544f467e9342ac5e527827183d4b424/tumblr_nm45diZ8D91s2kojso1_1280.png

Imanish:
"Hmm, map, all right, you draw one Heshsharu, you were always better at this than me..."

Mistral:
(We already have a maaaap)

Heshsharu:
"If you already have one, I'll just mark it for you..."

Dharc:
"Please do! That'd help out a lot. So, let me get this straight - we're supposed to go in, kll whoever's protecting the tomb, and then...set off some kind of plague? How?"

Dharc:
"I mean, we need information here!"

Imanish:
"If I knew the specifics myself, I'd have done it long ago...still, locked somewhere deep in the tomb, there should lie the still-restless soul of the legendary warrior Senenmerek. I hear he has quite a few ties that many a necromancer I've heard of would like to get ahold of..."
* Agi rolls secretly to you: « 1d20+3+2+2+3 = 1 + 3 + 2 + 2 + 3 = 11 » Knowledge History on Senenmerek, then => Invalid expression: « 1d20+3+2+2+3 = 1 + 3 + 2 + 2 + 3 = 11 » Knowledge History on Senenmerek, then.
You whisper to Agi: you know nothing about this nigga
You whisper to Agi: enjoy that nat 1
Agi says to the GMs: fuck/

Mistral:
Mistral grumbles under her breath, feeling like she should know that name already

Imanish:
"Hmm, you seem pretty enthusiastic about this though...a little too much. Fine! Before the night is over, we'll subject you to a final loyalty test, but dont worry, I'm sure it's one you'll be more than enthusiastic to pull off."

Dharc:
"Oh ho? What'd that be?"

Imanish:
"In fact, it's more than a little beneficial for you, I'm practically giving this to you for free."

Imanish:
"Basically, you have rival adventurers in this little shindig of yours, yes? The last group I encountered made this perfectly clear. Anyway, all I need you to do is incapacitate a group of your choice, bring them to me dead or alive, and I'll add them to my ranks of beheaded. Yes, that'd make things easier for you."

Dharc:
"Sweet! So, one laaast time! We go in, murder everything, and then set off a plague to torture and kill everyone in the city, right? That's the plan?"

Imanish:
"Nono! First you get out of here, murder a group of your choice, THEN you go in, murder everything, then set off a plague to torture and kill everyone in the city! Well, that's the gist of it..."

Dharc:
"All right, glad I'm not misunderstanding! You hear that, Missy?"

Heshsharu:
"Awww...that actually sounds pretty fun. Why don't I ever get to do that?"

Mistral:
"Yes, master."

Imanish:
"Because you never ask! Just ask more often! Or better yet, why don't you try and talk to that mortal's slave or something? At the rate we're going, we're going to flunk our bechdel test horribly!"

Heshsharu:
"Oh, okay! So, Ms. Slave, how is your master doing?"

Imanish:
"Nono! You're supposed to talk about something OTHER than a man! *Sobsob* Oh just go already...."

Dharc:
"Aw man, that...that's great. I'm gonna miss that! Hey, Baou, Missy?"

Mistral:
couldn't even open my mouth to respond

Baou:
"...what?"

Mistral:
"Hm?"

Dharc:
The dhorclord unhooks his flail from its...belt loop? Where the hell do you keep a flail? "Slaughter these monsters!"

Mistral:
You are a dumbass.

Dharc:
what just cause I don't know where to keep a flail

Dharc:
some people are incorrigible

Mistral:
"Which monsters, sir?" god dammit this man is BIPOLAR AS FUCK

Dharc:
"Uh? Wait, you mean you WANTED to do the whole kill-em-all thing? I was just waiting till I knew everything!"

Mistral:
I CAN'T KEEP UP WITH YOU IS THIS A TRIPLE BLUFF

Imanish:
"Huh, wait, what do you mean, OOOOOOH, I see now!"

Baou:
Baou just draws his sword, "Any excuse, at this point, is a worthy one."

Heshsharu:
"Oh, I see now! This is a classic betrayalthon isn't it!"

Dharc:
« 1d20+2 = 15 + 2 = 17 »

Heshsharu:
« 1d20+5 = 16 + 5 = 21 »

Baou:
« 1d20+1 = 8 + 1 = 9 »

Mistral:
« 1d20+2 = 4 + 2 = 6 »

Imanish:
« 1d20+3 = 1 + 3 = 4 »

Imanish:
"Oh, you've made a big, big mistake it seems..."

Dharc:
"We'll see! Honestly, I think I'll be fine."

Heshsharu:
« 1d20+6 = 6 + 6 = 12 » « 1d20+6 = 5 + 6 = 11 » "How simple can this be..." Slams@ Baoh and Mistral

Mistral:
"Let it be known that I think this was a -terrible- idea, and if we were to attack them at any point it should have been after gathering a small militia in the town!"
Dharc has received initiative.

Heshsharu:
"Gun of a sun!"

Dharc:
"Aw, that'd just be...cowardly!"

Dharc:
"You're not a COWARD, are you?"

Mistral:
"Now is hardly the time to be defaming eachothers' bloodlust!"

Dharc:
"Ahahaha! Poisonous Winds, blow!" and as such they do, Dharc starts his Bardic Performance-ish thing and then can't really do a lot

Dharc:
except move I guess

Baou:
take your AoO woman

Heshsharu:
« 1d20+6 = 10 + 6 = 16 »

Baou:
no

Baou:
Baou charges the eyeguy, swordbitething at the ready!
Baou has received initiative.

Baou:
« 1d20+3+3+1+2 = 14 + 3 + 3 + 1 + 2 = 23 » +2 from Charging in case you forgot that was a thing

Baou:
« 1d6+2+1 = 6 + 2 + 1 = 9 »
Mistral has received initiative.

Imanish:
"I will ensure your flesh will be used as my eternal puppet!"

Baou:
afk for a couple minutes or so

Mistral:
"With any luck, you'll still be susceptible - Fall." @ Heshsharu, make your save

Heshsharu:
« 1d20+3 = 9 + 3 = 12 » "Darn! Not my day, huh!"

Heshsharu:
Heshsh collapses into a pile of sand

Imanish:
"I WILL MAKE YOU REGRET EVER TRYING TO TUSSLE WITH ME, ON THIS DAY OF ALL DAYS!"

Imanish:
And then Imanish pulls the most broken bullshit off all

Imanish:
and just turns invisible hippo hippo

Mistral:
welp.

Baou:
lel

Imanish:
"I summon the power!"

Imanish:
« 1d3 = 3 »

Imanish:
"Run, run!"

Beheaded:
« 1d20+2 = 11 + 2 = 13 » slams into baoh

Baou:
Get outta heah

Beheaded 2:
« 1d20+2 = 15 + 2 = 17 » ^

Baou:
Nahuh

Beheaded 1:
« 1d20+2 = 1 + 2 = 3 » ^

Baou:
What do you think yer tryin to pull here guy

Heshsharu:
"Oh noooo"

Baou:
"This is the best you can do?"
Dharc has received initiative.

Dharc:
Dharc just flails around at one of the headcreaturethings because why not

Dharc:
« 1d20+6-4+1 = 17 + 6 - 4 + 1 = 20 »

Dharc:
well that hits probably

Dharc:
« 1d8+4+1+1 = 6 + 4 + 1 + 1 = 12 »

Beheaded:
Beheaded loses 12 hit points.
Baou has received initiative.

Baou:
« 1d20+7 = 9 + 7 = 16 » « 1d20+7 = 1 + 7 = 8 » « 1d20+7 = 9 + 7 = 16 »

Baou:
« 1d4+3+1 = 2 + 3 + 1 = 6 » @ Beheaded2

Beheaded 2:
Beheaded 2 loses 6 hit points.

Baou:
« 1d6+3+1 = 5 + 3 + 1 = 9 » Beheaded3

Baou:
er

Baou:
1

Beheaded 1:
Beheaded 1 loses 9 hit points.
Mistral has received initiative.

Mistral:
Mistral further scoots out of the way of Heshyseshyshammyru and casts Bless

Mistral:
cuz we need all the help we can get probably
Thrice is disconnected.
Thrice is disconnected.
Thrice has connected.

Mistral:
sup ho

Beheaded 1:
sup slut

Imanish:
"Don't think you'll get away that easily! Now I'll show you what becomes of those who defile me so easily!"

Vargouille:
"SKREEE!" a couple of these batty things come out of the woodwork while you weren't looking.

Dharc:
"Eugh, defile you? No, no, I wasn't gonna go there. Not my type at all!"

Vargouille:
And while that happens, the door begins to bump and shake, as if something is clawing at it!

Vargouille:
And with a bang, the one on the bottom bursts open!

Undead Berserker:
"Gurooooaaahhh...."

Vargouille:
The Vargouille shrieks! Everyone roll a fort save.

Dharc:
« 1d20+3 = 13 + 3 = 16 »

Mistral:
« 1d20+3 = 17 + 3 = 20 » god DAMMIT Dharc.

Mistral:
okay good.

Baou:
« 1d20+4 = 10 + 4 = 14 »

Mistral:
eidolon to

Mistral:
oooookay good

Mistral:
now two more.

Mistral:
as there are three of them

Vargouille 1:
Vargouille puckers up and smooches Dharc! « 1d20+5 = 10 + 5 = 15 »

Vargouille 1:
fort save oh man

Dharc:
"Yech! I SAID these things aren't my type!" « 1d20+3 = 16 + 3 = 19 »

Vargouille 1:
That passes...

Mistral:
Mistral's eyes light up at the Berserker busting down the door. "And in comes our salvation..."

Vargouille 1:
« 1d20+5 = 3 + 5 = 8 » bites Baoh!

Vargouille 1:
i guess not...

Baou:
Ahahahahaha

Baou:
Baou swordbites! « 1d20+3+3+1 = 11 + 3 + 3 + 1 = 18 »

Baou:
« 1d6+3+1 = 5 + 3 + 1 = 9 »

Baou:
« 1d20+6+1 = 14 + 6 + 1 = 21 »

Baou:
"STAY DOWN!"

Heshsharu:
im made of sand how does this even work
Dharc has received initiative.

Mistral:
I don't know and I don't care

Mistral:
stay down

Dharc:
Dharc just fucking punches the head next to him

Dharc:
five foot step

Dharc:
"All right, Sandy! Let's see that toughness of yours take this!" « 1d20+7-4 = 20 + 7 - 4 = 23 »

Dharc:
hah

Dharc:
« 1d20+3 = 2 + 3 = 5 »

Dharc:
« 1d8+6+1 = 4 + 6 + 1 = 11 »

Dharc:
aw man

Dharc:
even if I didn't get through the DR

Dharc:
it's 1 damage baybee

Mistral:
grats

Mistral:
she has 43 HP

Heshsharu:
Heshsharu loses 11 hit points.

Heshsharu:
"OWOWOWOW! Get that away from me!"
Baou has received initiative.

Dharc:
"Hah! This thing actually works! I'm gonna beat your face in with it!"

Baou:
I am going to kill all of these things

Baou:
hopefully

Baou:
« 1d20+7 = 15 + 7 = 22 » « 1d20+7 = 2 + 7 = 9 » « 1d20+7 = 10 + 7 = 17 »

Baou:
two of these things

Baou:
i will settle for that

Baou:
« 1d4+3+1 = 2 + 3 + 1 = 6 » @1

Baou:
« 1d6+3+1 = 1 + 3 + 1 = 5 » @0

Vargouille 1:
Vargouille 1 loses 6 hit points.

Vargouille:
Vargouille loses 5 hit points.

Baou:
"Well then. Tougher than the others, are we?"
Mistral has received initiative.

Mistral:
"You there - we'll be needing your assistance for the time being." Mistral lifts her symbol and releases the wave of energy. "Command." pls don't save

Undead Berserker:
You successfully command the Undead Berserker!

Undead Berserker:
« 1d20+2 = 11 + 2 = 13 »

Undead Berserker:
So yeah, you succesfully command it!

Mistral:
Sweet.

Undead Berserker:
Unfortunately, it also means Imanish's illusionary magic dissipates

Dharc:
"Aw man, 'd you just do that?"

Skeleton Servant 1:
"yo"

Dharc:
"...aw, really?"

Mistral:
"...gods, damn it. You'll do!"

Dharc:
"I had hope for you for a second."

Skeleton Servant 1:
« 1d20 = 17 » YOU HAVE MA SIMITAH

Skeleton Servant 1:
@ 1

Vargouille 1:
omg hits

Skeleton Servant 1:
« 1d6 = 6 »

Vargouille 1:
Vargouille 1 loses 6 hit points.

Vargouille 1:
Varg 1 bites the Dharc charmer! « 1d20+5 = 3 + 5 = 8 »

Vargouille 2:
Varg 2 shrieks!

Vargouille 2:
Everyone fort save

Dharc:
God damn nigga you su--oh shit

Dharc:
« 1d20+3 = 10 + 3 = 13 »

Mistral:
« 1d20+3 = 11 + 3 = 14 »

Baou:
« 1d20+4 = 7 + 4 = 11 »

Baou:
fug

Vargouille 2:
Boah is paralyzed for « 2d4 = 3 » rounds

Dharc:
Fuck Bardic Performance

Dharc:
Saving Finale : |

Skeleton Servant 1:
AoO bitch

Vargouille:
Varg0 heads in to bite Mistal! So the skelly can AoO

Skeleton Servant 1:
« 1d20+2 = 12 + 2 = 14 » I can claw now

Skeleton Servant 1:
damn

Dharc:
Okay that's actually a thing

Vargouille:
« 1d20+5 = 15 + 5 = 20 » nom

Dharc:
are the vargoilles tiny

Dharc:
also hold on a damn second

Dharc:
I'm casting a spell here

Dharc:
Well shit

Vargouille:
they're small apparently

Dharc:
They all get to AoO me.

Dharc:
Eh fuck it no

Dharc:
Cast defensively (D)

Dharc:
« 1d20+7 = 4 + 7 = 11 »

Dharc:
well shit.

Dharc:
Spell failed

Dharc:
"Aaargh! Come on! I totally botched that wind flourish..."

Vargouille:
« 1d4 = 1 »+poison

Skeleton Servant 1:
Skeleton Servant 1 loses 1 hit points.

Skeleton Servant 1:
oop

Skeleton Servant 1:
Skeleton Servant 1 loses 1 hit points.

Skeleton Servant 1:
Skeleton Servant 1 is healed and gains 2 hit points.

Mistral:
Mistral loses 1 hit points.

Mistral:
« 1d20+3 = 12 + 3 = 15 » dem fort dem fort dem, dryyy fort

Heshsharu:
"C-can I get up yet"

Dharc:
"Aw man, you're useless today, Baou!"

Dharc:
No.

Dharc:
« 1d20+6-4+1 = 15 + 6 - 4 + 1 = 18 »

Dharc:
that hit?

Dharc:
« 1d8+3 = 3 + 3 = 6 »

Heshsharu:
Heshsharu loses 6 hit points.

Dharc:
« 6+3 = 6 + 3 = 9 »

Heshsharu:
Heshsharu loses 3 hit points.

Dharc:
"If I were you, I'd'a stayed down! I value my life, after all!"

Baou:
wow really i sure couldn't fuckin tell

Heshsharu:
"Oh shut up!" « 1d20+6 = 9 + 6 = 15 »
Dharc has received initiative.

Dharc:
"Whoopsee~! You gotta try harder than that if you want to kill me. Let me demonstrate!" « 1d20+7-4 = 14 + 7 - 4 = 17 »

Dharc:
does that hit sandcunt

Dharc:
« 1d8+6 = 5 + 6 = 11 »

Heshsharu:
Heshsharu loses 11 hit points.

Dharc:
"I wonder what sandgirl brains look like?"

Heshsharu:
"No faaaiiiir!" Heshshshsh collaspes into sand and seeps throught he cracks.
Baou has received initiative.
Mistral has received initiative.

Mistral:
« 1d20+2+1+2 = 2 + 2 + 1 + 2 = 7 »« 1d20+2+1+2 = 5 + 2 + 1 + 2 = 10 » TWO CLAWS LESSGO

Mistral:
yeah that's why I don't do that

Skeleton Servant 1:
« 1d20+2+2 = 5 + 2 + 2 = 9 »« 1d20+2+2 = 10 + 2 + 2 = 14 » I do though

Skeleton Servant 1:
I do not

Vargouille:
« 1d20+5 = 6 + 5 = 11 » bites teh mistral

Dharc:
you guys suck

Dharc:
You should be vampires

Dharc:
You'd be better at that

Vargouille 1:
Shriek the third

Mistral:
« 1d20+3 = 9 + 3 = 12 » do ya realize how ridiculous those AH, m8

Mistral:
aw shit I'm dead

Dharc:
« 1d20+3 = 3 + 3 = 6 »

Baou:
« 1d20+4 = 1 + 4 = 5 »

Baou:
well then

Vargouille 1:
« 2d4 = 6 » dharcs paralyzed for that many rounds

Vargouille 2:
bites the paralyzed dharc « 1d20+5 = 10 + 5 = 15 »

Vargouille 2:
« 1d4 = 4 » poison, fort save pls

Dharc:
« 1d20+3 = 17 + 3 = 20 »

Mistral:
"And there goes the militia... this is going to be tedious."
Dharc has received initiative.
Baou has received initiative.
Mistral has received initiative.

Mistral:
Drinking my own Shield extract to be impenetrable. *is immediately penetrated*

Dharc:
(This is like an in-body experience!)

Skeleton Servant 1:
« 1d20+2+2 = 3 + 2 + 2 = 7 »« 1d20+2+2 = 17 + 2 + 2 = 21 » @ vargouille

Skeleton Servant 1:
« 1d4+1 = 1 + 1 = 2 »

Skeleton Servant 1:
m

Vargouille 1:
Vargouille 1 loses 2 hit points.

Vargouille 1:
Vargouille 1 is healed and gains 2 hit points.

Vargouille:
Vargouille loses 2 hit points.

Imanish:
"So what do you think, slave? Join me, and I shall make your face the greatest in Wati! Or else you will DIE!"

Dharc:
not even you could perform a miracle THAT great

Dharc:
i dunno if you'd noticed but like this bitch kinda ugly all the other protaonists get these hot little hos and i get THIS

Dharc:
like fuck this yo

Mistral:
"Please stop talking now. Your trump Berserker was an illusion, and you stopped creating your deformed heads long ago. If there was anything else you could do you'd have done it by now."

Baou:
Right so like

Baou:
« 1d20+14 = 1 + 14 = 15 »

Baou:
Can I hear where this nigga is talking from with a 15 on Perception (crs)

Baou:
I mean probably

Baou:
hearing checks are pretty fuckin low

Baou:
they start at 0

Baou:
and go up 1 every ten feet

Imanish:
Probably somewhere near you, I dont think he really changed position much.

Mistral:
"This is just going to be a mildly irritating waste of time while I keep my foolhardy companions from expiring."

Imanish:
"That's it, Vargouilles, ATTACK!"

Baou:
I'll kill you

Baou:
First, the uglies

Vargouille:
« 1d20+5 = 2 + 5 = 7 » bites teh mistral

Baou:
then the ugly

Vargouille 1:
« 1d20+5 = 18 + 5 = 23 » bites teh baoh

Vargouille 1:
« 1d4 = 3 »+poison pls

Baou:
Baou loses 3 hit points.

Baou:
« 1d20+4 = 8 + 4 = 12 »

Baou:
argh i am maybe poisoned

Vargouille 2:
« 1d20+5 = 19 + 5 = 24 » bites teh darc

Dharc:
well that hits

Vargouille 2:
« 1d4 = 3 »+poison pls

Dharc:
« 1d20+3 = 18 + 3 = 21 »
Dharc has received initiative.
Baou has received initiative.
Mistral has received initiative.

Vargouille:
« 1d20+5 = 3 + 5 = 8 » nom

Vargouille 2:
« 1d20+5 = 13 + 5 = 18 » u bitch

Mistral:
Just gonna stroll on through, totally confident in the shieldin

Vargouille 1:
« 1d20+5 = 19 + 5 = 24 » u bitch

Skeleton Servant 1:
« 1d20+2+2 = 16 + 2 + 2 = 20 »« 1d20+2+2 = 5 + 2 + 2 = 9 » flankin

Vargouille 1:
« 1d4 = 3 »+poison pls

Skeleton Servant 1:
« 1d4+1 = 2 + 1 = 3 » @ you know the one

Mistral:
« 1d20+3 = 16 + 3 = 19 » fort I guess

Vargouille:
Vargouille loses 3 hit points.

Mistral:
Mistral loses 3 hit points.

Mistral:
« 1d8+1 = 8 + 1 = 9 » "How are things over here?"

Baou:
Baou is healed and gains 9 hit points.

Baou:
"...something useful. A pleasant surprise. Now, keep this little streak going and make sure my fool of a 'master' somehow manages to stay conscious."

Mistral:
"He's quite durable, though you surely knew that."

Baou:
"Now that I have feeling once more, these glorified skulls are nothing to me."

Vargouille 2:
« 1d20+5 = 12 + 5 = 17 » I'm bitin the FUCK outta Mistral

Mistral:
You are not.

Vargouille:
Im just gonna knock on Dharc some more « 1d20+5 = 8 + 5 = 13 »

Dharc:
That does hit yes

Vargouille:
« 1d4 = 3 »+poison pls

Dharc:
« 1d20+3 = 1 + 3 = 4 »

Dharc:
well

Vargouille 1:
« 1d20+5 = 10 + 5 = 15 » bites teh baoh

Baou:
Go away

Imanish:
"That does it! Die, traitor!" Imanish slaps his tentacles on Dharc or something. « 1d20+9 = 1 + 9 = 10 »

Imanish:
s-sry
Dharc has received initiative.
Baou has received initiative.

Baou:
« 1d20+6 = 17 + 6 = 23 » « 1d20+6 = 2 + 6 = 8 » « 1d20+6 = 4 + 6 = 10 »

Baou:
« 1d4+3 = 3 + 3 = 6 » @Varg1

Vargouille 1:
Vargouille 1 loses 6 hit points.
Mistral has received initiative.

Mistral:
"Curious... Fall." @ Imanish

Dharc:
n

Mistral:
*Halt

Dharc:
You know what's sad

Dharc:
That tentacle slap WOULD have hit

Dharc:
but it was a nat 1

Imanish:
« 1d20+4 = 5 + 4 = 9 » u stop that

Dharc:
and those always miss

Skeleton Servant 1:
« 1d20+2 = 17 + 2 = 19 »« 1d20+2 = 19 + 2 = 21 » can Vargouille 1 die please

Imanish:
stoooop

Imanish:
reeeeee

Skeleton Servant 1:
« 1d4+1 = 3 + 1 = 4 »« 1d4+1 = 1 + 1 = 2 »

Vargouille 1:
Vargouille 1 loses 4 hit points.

Skeleton Servant 1:
fiiine

Skeleton Servant 1:
2 for Vargouille not 1

Vargouille:
Vargouille loses 2 hit points.

Vargouille 2:
« 1d20+5 = 10 + 5 = 15 » fak off

Imanish:
"I can't move! This isn't how this is supposed to go!"

Heshsharu:
im still sand
Dharc has received initiative.
Baou has received initiative.

Baou:
"How's it feel?" « 1d20+6 = 1 + 6 = 7 » « 1d20+6 = 8 + 6 = 14 » « 1d20+6 = 15 + 6 = 21 » IMMA GO BEAR-SERK

Baou:
and miss a lot

Baou:
fuck I keep forgetting power attack

Baou:
« 1d6+3 = 2 + 3 = 5 »

Vargouille 2:
Vargouille 2 loses 5 hit points.

Mistral:
"We should regroup a tad, I'll cover from this angle..." take another AoO, Vargie

Dharc:
yeh

Dharc:
WE should

Vargouille 2:
« 1d20+5 = 3 + 5 = 8 »

Mistral:
"Cause Fear." @ Imanish

Mistral:
Will again, obv

Imanish:
« 1d20+4 = 19 + 4 = 23 » "Gaaah!"

Mistral:
You are shaken for 1 round
Mistral has received initiative.

Skeleton Servant 1:
« 1d20+2 = 16 + 2 = 18 »« 1d20+2 = 11 + 2 = 13 »

Skeleton Servant 1:
« 1d4+1 = 3 + 1 = 4 »

Vargouille:
Vargouille loses 4 hit points.

Imanish:
"Curses! Blast you confounded curmodgeons! I knew I shouldn't have tried to trust the likes of you!"

Mistral:
"I'm not entirely certain why you did, this was a horrific gambit through and through."

Baou:
"Indeed. Putting any amount of faith in my 'master' is a foolhardy error."

Mistral:
"But it worked, so credit where credit is due, Dharc. Really though, a necromantic plague through this city again, after it's finally been able to recover?"

Dharc:
Dharc continues to stare at the doors

Dharc:
they are pretty doors

Mistral:
"Your kind deserves no mercy."

Dharc:
mercy is my middle name

Dharc:
my first is no

Dharc:
or maybe no is my last name and mercy is my first

Dharc:
so that when i go to the doctor and they read it out they say "No, Mercy"

Dharc:
you think about the strangest things when you can do nothing BUT think

Imanish:
"Ok, ok, fine! I admit I've been bested! But just here! But for passing this test, I'll be sure to reward you handsomely..."

Imanish:
"Put down your guard, and I shall grant you the greatest riches in the land!"

Dharc:
that sounds like a dumb idea don't do that

Mistral:
"I hope you don't take me for that much of a fool."

Mistral:
"Frankly, it's a bit insulting."

Imanish:
"Ok, ok! Then I promise I'll grant you a thousand servants! I have connections all across the land to make this possible! How about that!?"

Dharc:
shit

Dharc:
this nigga's hooktailing us

Dharc:
he gonna eat the audience next

Imanish:
"Butlers, maids, warriors, concubines, you name it!"

Dharc:
keep talking

Mistral:
"I recognize stalling when I see it. Talking isn't THIS much of a free action. Baou, I think it's your go?"

Baou:
"Technically, he still hasn't acted."

Imanish:
"Ok, ok, is that not enough for you? Then I'll let you smell my fe- shit, I forgot I don't have those!"
Dharc has received initiative.
Baou has received initiative.

Mistral:
"Fiat has to account for some rulings."

Dharc:
*cricket chirping noise*

Baou:
« 1d20+6-1 = 4 + 6 - 1 = 9 » « 1d20+6-1 = 13 + 6 - 1 = 18 » « 1d20+6-1 = 10 + 6 - 1 = 15 » Power Attack : |

Baou:
« 1d4+3+2 = 2 + 3 + 2 = 7 » « 1d6+3+2 = 2 + 3 + 2 = 7 »

Vargouille 2:
Vargouille 2 loses 7 hit points.

Vargouille 2:
Vargouille 2 loses 7 hit points.
Mistral has received initiative.

Baou:
"Those ill-minded enough to face me do not walk away with their lives."

Baou:
"...not that any of you walk."

Skeleton Servant 1:
« 1d20+2+2 = 20 + 2 + 2 = 24 »« 1d20+2+2 = 11 + 2 + 2 = 15 » FFS, shreddin the vargo

Skeleton Servant 1:
« 1d20+2+2 = 5 + 2 + 2 = 9 »

Skeleton Servant 1:
« 1d4+1 = 3 + 1 = 4 »

Vargouille:
Vargouille loses 4 hit points.

Imanish:
"All right, that does it!"

Mistral:
« 2d6*1.5 = 8 * 1.5 = 12.0 » For Dharc

Dharc:
At least you Usopps can put in work while the Actual Useful Member is down

Dharc:
what the hell was that

Dharc:
ah

Dharc:
Dharc is healed and gains 3 hit points.

Dharc:
Aw man I feel okay I still don't feel anything atall really

Mistral:
"Close the door if you would, please. We don't want this one escaping."

Dharc:
Yeah sure I'll get right on that

Dharc:
bitch

Skeleton Servant 1:
not you ya prick

Dharc:
I, technically, have you surrounded

Dharc:
come out with your eyes up

Imanish:
"Hah, you'll regret closing those doors!"

Imanish:
"Now know my true form, and DESPAIR!"

Skeleton Servant 1:
SHIIIT

Octoeyes:
"VLAAAAARGH!"

Dharc:
is that supposed to be the Tetris Attack Blarg attack sound

Octoeyes:
"RUN, COWARDS. RUN, RUN!"

Dharc:
YEAH SURE

Dharc:
I'LL GET RIGH TON THAT

Dharc:
bitch
Dharc has received initiative.

Mistral:
"Is this just an illusion like the Skeleton Barbarian?"

Baou:
"We're about to find out."

Octoeyes:
"NO"

Octoeyes:
"IT IS NOT"
Baou has received initiative.

Mistral:
"It COULD be, though."

Baou:
« 1d20+6-1 = 2 + 6 - 1 = 7 » « 1d20+6-1 = 14 + 6 - 1 = 19 » « 1d20+6-1 = 7 + 6 - 1 = 12 » SHREDDER

Baou:
well one may have hit

Octoeyes:
"What is your source on this"

Baou:
« 1d4+3+2 = 1 + 3 + 2 = 6 »

Baou:
m

Mistral:
"My sources are as mysterious as when on earth Dharc will regain consciousness."

Octoeyes:
No effect!
Mistral has received initiative.

Mistral:
Mistral backs up to huck a bemb

Mistral:
provoking an AoO

Octoeyes:
« 1d20+9 = 11 + 9 = 20 » OCTOEYES SLAPS THEE

Mistral:
he does not

Mistral:
21

Mistral:
« 1d20+2+2+1 = 12 + 2 + 2 + 1 = 17 » "Bomb coming in!"

Mistral:
« 2d4+2+1 = 7 + 2 + 1 = 10 » whoo

Octoeyes:
TOO BAD

Octoeyes:
RESIST ACID

Octoeyes:
10

Mistral:
well how mu- you COCK.

Mistral:
Mistral's smirk angles downward a bit as the acid is absorbed harmlessly.

Octoeyes:
« 1d20+9 = 9 + 9 = 18 » "I SHALL MAKE SURE YOUR MASTER SUFFERS FOR THIS"

Mistral:
"Back to plan A, then."

Dharc:
Gimme your best shot bitch

Dharc:
I mean that hits

Dharc:
But try me

Skeleton Servant 1:
« 1d20+2 = 11 + 2 = 13 »« 1d20+2 = 1 + 2 = 3 » hold up I totally matter

Skeleton Servant 1:
I do not

Octoeyes:
« 1d6+2 = 2 + 2 = 4 » weh

Dharc:
Dharc's unmoving gaze says it all

Octoeyes:
"ARE YOU NOT TREMBLING IN FEAR"
Dharc has received initiative.
Baou has received initiative.

Mistral:
"Flickering between various sublevels of annoyance, mostly. Dharc, on your feet!"

Baou:
"My 'master' is like a wall. Stupid, rooted, useless...but very tough."

Baou:
« 1d20+6-1 = 5 + 6 - 1 = 10 » « 1d20+6-1 = 14 + 6 - 1 = 19 » « 1d20+6-1 = 6 + 6 - 1 = 11 » I can't even hurt you but by god I can do NL

Baou:
or not

Baou:
why am I even power attacking at this point

Baou:
« 1d4+3+2 = 2 + 3 + 2 = 7 »

Mistral:
"I'd have been able to handle this situation much more effectively if you'd allowed me the time to prepare - for now we need that flail of yours in any of these eye sockets!"

Octoeyes:
weh
Mistral has received initiative.

Mistral:
"Halt!"

Dharc:
yeah well i'd have been able to handle this situation mcuh more efficiently if i could MOVE

Octoeyes:
"SHIT"
Dharc has received initiative.

Octoeyes:
« 1d20+4 = 20 + 4 = 24 »
Baou has received initiative.
Mistral has received initiative.
Dharc has received initiative.
Baou has received initiative.
Mistral has received initiative.

Baou:
« 1d20+6 = 10 + 6 = 16 » « 1d20+6 = 4 + 6 = 10 » « 1d20+6 = 10 + 6 = 16 » Eat my ass

Octoeyes:
"I WILL MAKE THIS ONE SUFFER FURTHER"

Baou:
well shit

Octoeyes:
« 1d20+5 = 4 + 5 = 9 » slap slap salp

Octoeyes:
« 1d6+2 = 3 + 2 = 5 » weh

Mistral:
Magic Weapon.

Mistral:
"By the gods, Dharc."

Mistral:
"If you stand up."

Mistral:
"Swing."

Mistral:
"And miss."

Mistral:
"I'll stab you myself."

Skeleton Servant 1:
« 1d20+2 = 2 + 2 = 4 »« 1d20+2 = 6 + 2 = 8 » yoo

Skeleton Servant 1:
oo
Dharc has received initiative.
Baou has received initiative.
Mistral has received initiative.

Dharc:
"AAAAAAALLLLRRRIIIIIGHT! Imma KILL this bastard eyeball! Make jelly with what I squash!" « 1d20+6-4+1 = 15 + 6 - 4 + 1 = 18 »

Octoeyes:
you hit the thing with a melee attack and it sorta phases through one of its tentacles

Baou:
I feel really stupid now for attacking nothing and not noticing

Baou:
for the record though

Baou:
anyone attacking or otherwise interacting with an illusion automatically gets a will save to disbelieve

Mistral:
« 1d20+7 = 4 + 7 = 11 » : |

Mistral:
... : |

Dharc:
« 1d20+4 = 8 + 4 = 12 »

Skeleton Servant 1:
« 1d20 = 5 » yo

Baou:
« 1d20+3 = 9 + 3 = 12 »

Baou:
we are retarded

Dharc:
"Eh wot?"

Octoeyes:
"Uuh...YEAH! FEEAAAAR!"

Dharc:
"Should I've said jam...?"

Octoeyes:
« 1d20+9 = 6 + 9 = 15 » slaps dharc more
Dharc has received initiative.

Dharc:
"I am going to SLAUGHTER you! I'm gonna...roll you around in the sand and get you all irritated, and not let you rinse yourself for twenty minutes! Then I'm gonna blow smoke in your you!"

Mistral:
"Ooh, really laying into him there."

Dharc:
Fuck you I'm just gonna roll Intimidate (D)

Dharc:
« 1d20+12 = 18 + 12 = 30 » Imma kill you through fear

Dharc:
Dharc snaps and just starts flailing his flail around randomly while ranting about all the awful eye-related things he's gonna do to this motherfucker when he catches him

Dharc:
like replace all the liquid in his eyes with hot sauce

Dharc:
and make ALL his eyelashes become the "hurty eyelash"

Dharc:
and give him pink eyes

Octoeyes:
"!!!!! Oh SHIIII-"

Octoeyes:
"Ok, fine! Fine then! This isn't my real true form! Don't hurt me!"

Octoeyes:
"Ahem, ok, change of plan here, no mere man can resist common carnal temptations..."
Baou has received initiative.

Mistral:
"Are you seriously still trying to barter?"

Baou:
Man what can I even do at this point

Skeleton Servant 1:
actually

Baou:
"Reveal yourself! So that I can kill you!"

Skeleton Servant 1:
welcome to MY world
Mistral has received initiative.

Skeleton Servant 1:
we fucking suck.

Baou:
ill kill u

Mistral:
"Dharc, you're more than capable of handling yourself from here, right?"

Dharc:
Dharc stops swinging his flail around, and looks about the room, "Oh...uh, sh'yeah. Why?"

Mistral:
"There's little else I can do to support and little HE can do to harm any of you. I'm going to check around these upper rooms."

Octoeyes:
"FINE! LEAVE! SEE IF I CARE!"

Dharc:
"Aw, trust me, you deserved better than her."

Mistral:
"Let me know if you need healing in the next several minutes!"

Dharc:
"And I deserve better than to have to sit in here with you! If you don't leggo of this little farce soon, it's only gonna get worse for you."

Mistral:
Closing the door behind me, skelly's handling the other one
tirkaroKujo:
Dust blankets this room. The walls, once brightly painted to depict life in ancient Wati, are now faded. A smaller room or alcove takes up the northeast section of the room; it was once closed off by a wooden door that since has rotted away, leaving only its hinges in the doorframe. A strong, cloying odor of decay pervades the room.

Mistral:
"Nothing alive, good. Next..."

Vargouille 5:
good cuz there's a vargouille here

Mistral:
*redacted, then

Mistral:
"We'll take care of that one later." *closes door*

Vargouille 5:
aw

Octoeyes:
"NOW BEHOLD MY TRUER TRUE FORM AND DESPAIR!"

Baou:
"I'm calling it"

Baou:
"I'm Shuma-Gorath"

Baou:
It's*

Baou:
Also I am

Baou:
Sure

Baou:
Why not

Imanish:
"Uh, hmm, wait, what is is you humanoids like these days, uh...."

Imanish:
"Uh, sure, why not, just hold on here..."

Dharc:
"Niiiice."

Lamia:
*Really bad female voice impression* "Uh, h-hello there! I am a cuuuute, big-uh...snake woman with unessecarily large mammaries! I think this is what gets your kicks, right?"

Dharc:
"Pretty much, yes."

Lamia:
"Now, do you wanna let down all your stuff and just serve little ol' me? Be a sweetheart?"

Mistral:
B22 hype

Lamia:
Most of the contents of this room have fallen apart or otherwise been reduced to dust from the dry desert air. A foul, cloying smell fills the room.

Baou:
"You are completely useless. Why do I have to put up with this? Why is it never the others?"

Vargouille 6:
also another one of these things
Dharc has received initiative.

Mistral:
"And another. Quite the collection he's got." *door close*

Mistral:
"Or hopefully, 'had' by now."

Dharc:
"Look, look, I'm not stupid. I know this is an illusion! So, I have one thing to ask...You'd had to've seen one to mimic it...where'd you get the basis for this? Where are the REAL ones?! Tell me, dammit! Or I'll really kill you!"

Lamia:
"...."

Imanish:
"...so this is the part where I make my grand escape, see ya!"

Imanish:
but instead he bumps his eye into the door. "WHO PUT THIS HERE!?"

Baou:
Imma kill it

Imanish:
*Telepathy* "Hurry up and open this door for me, you sack of bones!"

Baou:
Baou is gonna kill it now
Baou has received initiative.

Baou:
« 1d20+6 = 8 + 6 = 14 »

Baou:
he is not

Baou:
carry on
Mistral has received initiative.

Mistral:
"Hm? Oh, another one of the local skeletons. Come on, now." Channelin

Dharc:
what is this PTA

Dharc:
channel shit to contro lit

Imanish:
"Okay, we're clearly in a stalemate here. Fine, I'll tell you, with all my INFINITE KNOWLEDGE, where to find one of these...uh...overly well endowed beasts if you just let me through this door!

Imanish:
"Also if you do all that stuff I asked you before, that'd be nice too."

Dharc:
"Uh, no. Here's the deal: You tell me now, and I only poke out ONE of your eyes."

Baou:
he only has one eye tho

Dharc:
i know

Dharc:
he doesn't know that tho

Dharc:
"I'm gonna find out one way or the other...the difference is how much pain I have to put you through to learn it."

Imanish:
"....shit, I don't know! Does it look like I can remember? Ok, ok fine..."

Baou:
"Are we really having this conversation right now?"

Imanish:
"There are uh...some females in the necropolis. Is that what you want? Heck, wasn't that slave of yours just female? You should know this!"
Dharc has received initiative.

Skeleton Servant 3:
« 1d20+2 = 1 + 2 = 3 » will saaaaave

Skeleton Servant 3:
I'm under ur command

Mistral:
no u mine

Dharc:
"Hey, hey! Slave =/= concubine! I dunno if you noticed, but she's not exactly ANYONE'S type. Now, since you told me...one eyeball poking coming up! As promised!"

Mistral:
"Come on then, let's check out the rest of these rooms."

Dharc:
"I always uphold my word when I want to1"

Dharc:
!*

Dharc:
« 1d20+6-4+1 = 15 + 6 - 4 + 1 = 18 »

Dharc:
« 18+1 = 18 + 1 = 19 »]

Dharc:
« 1d8+6+1+1 = 1 + 6 + 1 + 1 = 9 » arcane strike, Magic weapon

Dharc:
shit

Imanish:
"Uh....ow! I guess!"
Baou has received initiative.

Baou:
« 1d20+6 = 6 + 6 = 12 » « 1d20+6 = 4 + 6 = 10 » « 1d20+6 = 7 + 6 = 13 »

Baou:
dicks

Imanish:
"....where IS that Skeleton anyway?"

Imanish:
"Curses, I can't rely on anyone here anymore..."
Mistral has received initiative.

Dharc:
"Kaaaayy....forget the flail!"

Mistral:
"H'llo...? Any disfigured flying heads in here?"
tirkaroKujo:
A large lacquered desk, now i n poor condition, sits i n the center of this room. Bookcases stand along the eastern and southwestern walls, sagging as if ready to collapse at any moment. Their shelves have fallen out, and the piles of dust at their bases are all that remains of books and scrolls that failed to survive the long years. The lacquered wooden frames of what might once have been divans stretch along the north and south walls, but their upholstery has disintegrated. A single door in the western wall is the room's only exit.

Imanish:
"Well uh...if it's concubines you want, can't you just uh, buy those in modern society? They're kinda pricy though..."

Imanish:
"Unless you're willing to just kidnap random ones for free, which I can most certainly help you with! Whatcha say, huh? Huh?"
Dharc has received initiative.

Dharc:
"Nah, I don't care for kidnappers. Thanks for the offer though! I'm tired of this, though." Dharc drops the flail, and draws his Fauchard, activating his little magic sheathe thing

Dharc:
giving him a +3 enhancement on attack/damage rolls (D)

Dharc:
Because FUCK this guy.

Dharc:
« 1d20+6+3 = 17 + 6 + 3 = 26 »

Dharc:
« 1d10+6+3+1+1 = 4 + 6 + 3 + 1 + 1 = 15 »

Imanish:
Imanish loses 5 hit points.
Baou has received initiative.

Baou:
« 1d20+6 = 2 + 6 = 8 » « 1d20+6 = 11 + 6 = 17 » « 1d20+6 = 1 + 6 = 7 »

Imanish:
"Oh, oh, fine, fine then! You're hopeless!"

Imanish:
"I'm outta here, thank you very much! I will get my revenge soon...ish!"

Imanish:
Imanish simply turns invisible.

Baou:
Is that a spell nigga

Imanish:
yes

Imanish:
At will—invisibility (self only)

Baou:
Hah

Baou:
AoO bitch

Imanish:
go ahead

Imanish:
make my day

Dharc:
« 1d20+6+3 = 12 + 6 + 3 = 21 »

Baou:
« 1d20+6 = 10 + 6 = 16 »

Baou:
m

Dharc:
« 1d10+6+3 = 10 + 6 + 3 = 19 »

Imanish:
Imanish loses 9 hit points.

Dharc:
If you take damage while trying to cast a spell, you must make a concentration check with a DC equal to 10 + the damage taken + the level of the spell you're casting. If you fail the check, you lose the spell without effect. The interrupting event strikes during spellcasting if it comes between the time you started and the time you complete a spell (for a spell with a casting time of 1 full round or more) or if it comes in response to your casting the spell (such as an attack of opportunity provoked by the spell or a contingent attack, such as a readied action).

Imanish:
« 1d20+8 = 7 + 8 = 15 »

Imanish:
aw man

Dharc:
eat my ass

Imanish:
"Owww, stop thaaaat."

Dharc:
"HAH! Nice try, bitch boy!"

Imanish:
"I dont even have a gender"

Dharc:
"That was fairly evident."

Dharc:
« 1d20+6+3+1+1 = 10 + 6 + 3 + 1 + 1 = 21 »

Dharc:
« 1d10+6+3 = 1 + 6 + 3 = 10 » please die

Dharc:
fu

Dharc:
g

Imanish:
sry

Dharc:
well

Dharc:
10+1

Dharc:
cause magic weapon

Dharc:
so 1 damage

Imanish:
oman

Imanish:
Imanish loses 2 hit points.

Imanish:
"Now let me be already!

Baou:
« 1d20+6 = 13 + 6 = 19 » « 1d20+6 = 16 + 6 = 22 » « 1d20+6 = 12 + 6 = 18 » :|

Baou:
« 1d4+3 = 1 + 3 = 4 » « 1d6+2 = 2 + 2 = 4 »
Mistral has received initiative.

Imanish:
"I'll just move back here! Do your worst!"

Dharc:
« 1d20+6+3+1+1 = 4 + 6 + 3 + 1 + 1 = 15 »]

Dharc:
well

Dharc:
shit
tirkaroKujo:
The walls o f this room are decorated with a scenic vista of a river valley running through a desert, resplendent with verdant life and greenery near the shores. Only a few pieces of lacquered furniture remain in the chamber. A faint, musty odor of decomposed wood and fabric lingers in the air. A set of doors stands in the western wall.

Baou:
« 1d20+6 = 18 + 6 = 24 »

Baou:
hah

Baou:
« 1d6+3 = 1 + 3 = 4 »

Baou:
take your 1 NL
tirkaroKujo:
The body of a human man lies on its back in the small alcove to the east. Unlike most of the remains in the house, and its flesh is in a state of advanced decomposition.

Imanish:
"Ok, NOW I will turn invisible!"

Imanish:
Like that.

Imanish:
I may not be able to escape but you wont be able to hit me and you'll have to leave sooner or later.

Dharc:
hmmmmm'

Dharc:
"Detect Magic."

Imanish:
can u even do that
Dharc has received initiative.

Dharc:
"I'm pretty sure I know where you are...you haven't moved, after all."

Dharc:
« 1d20+6+3+1+1 = 13 + 6 + 3 + 1 + 1 = 24 »

Dharc:
« 1d2 = 2 » 1 hit 2 miss

Dharc:
m

Baou:
« 1d20+6 = 7 + 6 = 13 »

Baou:
m

Imanish:
"You can't keep doing this forever!"

Dharc:
"Why not?"

Mistral:
Mistral knocks on the door. "Aren't you done in there yet? I've scouted out all the rooms, we have a few more Vargouilles to weed out..."

Imanish:
"is this really how you want to spend the rest of your days."

Dharc:
"The little bastard's invisible now."

Mistral:
"Again?"
Baou has received initiative.
Mistral has received initiative.

Dharc:
"Yep."

Mistral:
"Well I'm not opening these doors - hold on, I have something which might work." « 2d6 = 8 » CHANNELIN

Mistral:
« 8/2 = 8 / 2 = 4 »

Mistral:
and will save for half. : |

Baou:
« 1d20+3 = 17 + 3 = 20 »

Baou:
hah

Baou:
Baou loses 2 hit points.

Imanish:
« 1d20+4 = 11 + 4 = 15 »

Imanish:
Imanish loses 2 hit points.

Mistral:
"Did that do it? My channels aren't really meant to be used for harm, but..."

Imanish:
I mean, uh....

Dharc:
"They're not? How ironic!"

Imanish:
"Urhg! Ugh, ow, uuugh!"

Imanish:
"That uh, got me good! I'm deeaaaad, blaaargh!"

Dharc:
"I don't trust him for a second."

Baou:
« 1d20+14 = 5 + 14 = 19 »

Baou:
Perception to discern his location (D)

Imanish:
It seems to be coming from the dead Imanish corpse

Imanish:
@the voice

Dharc:
« 1d20+4 = 2 + 4 = 6 »

Dharc:
« 1d20+4 = 13 + 4 = 17 »

Baou:
« 1d20+3 = 18 + 3 = 21 »

Imanish:
you both see past the illusion! The imanish corpse is a fake!

Dharc:
"Hah! Distrustment of others never fails."

Dharc:
"So, uh...now what? You just gonna stand there forever/"

Dharc:
?*

Imanish:
"..." he aint sayin nothing
Dharc has received initiative.

Dharc:
"I see..." Dharc swings at the space Imanese used to be! As in the bottom right corner

Dharc:
« 1d20+6+1+1 = 5 + 6 + 1 + 1 = 13 »

Dharc:
m

Baou:
« 1d20+14 = 19 + 14 = 33 » Baou actually looks around.
Unknown command: "GM [1d20+17]". Try /help for a list of commands.
« 1d20+17 = 12 + 17 = 29 »

Mistral:
"I'm sort of spent at this point, but there's absolutely no way he leaves this place alive."

Imanish:
wtf ive been spotted

Mistral:
"I'm sending in this other skeleton I found wandering the halls to help you scout him out."

Baou:
« 1d20+6 = 18 + 6 = 24 » DIE MONSTER I DON'T BELONG IN THIS WORLD

Baou:
oh hey

Baou:
« 1d2 = 1 »

Baou:
woo

Baou:
« 1d6+3 = 3 + 3 = 6 » : |

Baou:
1 NL : |

Imanish:
Blaaaaaarrrgh

Imanish:
ow my eye

Imanish:
like 1000 exp each combined

Dharc:
"Wahahahahaha~! We did it!" dharc 90's children cartoons out for a moment, "Okay, now to kill him."

Dharc:
"Whatever happened to the sand girl anyway..."

Mistral:
"No objections."

Dharc:
well this hits and is a crit

Dharc:
because cdg

Dharc:
« 1d10+6+1+1+1d10+6+1+1 = 8 + 6 + 1 + 1 + 8 + 6 + 1 + 1 = 32 »

Dharc:
now why could I not roll like that before

Dharc:
anyway uh

Dharc:
make a DC...

Dharc:
42 Fort save.

Mistral:
"I'm slightly more comfortable leaving her alive, she didn't have nearly the evil aspirations that this thing had."

Dharc:
If that doesn't kill you in the first place

Dharc:
because CDG is dumb.

Dharc:
Techncially, you could have CDG'd me

Dharc:
while I was paralyzed

Dharc:
i was not about to mention that

Imanish:
aw man

Dharc:
"Hahahaha! No more enemies! Ever!"

Mistral:
"Come on then. The room straight ahead and the one on the left still have a Vargouille each to dispatch."

Dharc:
"But...but...the treasure..."

Dharc:
"Can't you just wait a teeensy bit for me to do all the work again?"

Baou:
"Excuse me?"

Baou:
As a sidenote

Baou:
invisible things = ass

Mistral:
"Sigh... we can take a breather. I'd imagine that was rather exhausting."

Baou:
>take a breather

Baou:
tripped, lose all combat stages

Baou:
AC is 0 for the next turn

Mistral:
"I stand by my stance that the plan was completely idiotic, though."

Dharc:
"Oh, I know! And that's why I did it."

Dharc:
"The stupidest plans are always the ones that work in the end. Don't ask me why, I couldn't say."

Dharc:
"I had TONS of better plans! And they all would've failed."

Baou:
"Your logic is, truly, incomprehensible."

Mistral:
"I like this one. Can he come around more often?"
Agi is disconnected.

Baou:
"Please, if truly you have any mercy, let me stay gone. I want as little to do with you two as possible."

Imanish:
what happeeeeneeed

Imanish:
dont leave me aloooone

Baou:
m

Baou:
agi had to restart

Dharc:
Fuck it what's in thsi treasure chest

Dharc:
Wait shit I ain't no rogue
Agi has connected.
Agi:
had to restart twice before hamcho would work
Agi:
(waiting)

Dharc:
You're the rogue bitch

Dharc:
I mean that in every context

Dharc:
Get up here and disable this trap

Mistral:
"Giving Imanish one final go at us, then. Did you check for magic already?"
* Agi rolls secretly to you: « 1d20+2+3+2+1 = 5 + 2 + 3 + 2 + 1 = 13 » Disable device go => Invalid expression: « 1d20+2+3+2+1 = 5 + 2 + 3 + 2 + 1 = 13 » Disable device go.

Imanish:
there doesnt seem to be any devices to be disabled

Dharc:
aka

Dharc:
you find no traps
* Agi rolls secretly to you: « 1d20+4+3+2+3+1 = 11 + 4 + 3 + 2 + 3 + 1 = 24 » my b, percep them traps => Invalid expression: « 1d20+4+3+2+3+1 = 11 + 4 + 3 + 2 + 3 + 1 = 24 » my b, percep them traps.

Imanish:
you find a device to be disabled

Mistral:
« 1d20+2+2+3+3+1 = 5 + 2 + 2 + 3 + 3 + 1 = 16 » DISABLE DEVICE : |

Mistral:
shit right
* Agi rolls secretly to you: « 1d20+2+2+3+3+1 = 17 + 2 + 2 + 3 + 3 + 1 = 28 » => Invalid expression: « 1d20+2+2+3+3+1 = 17 + 2 + 2 + 3 + 3 + 1 = 28 ».

Imanish:
klik klonk, the device seems to be disabled

Mistral:
open chest goo

Dharc:
"I KNEW there was a reason I kept you around!"

Imanish:
inside the chest are 20 small gold ingots and a headband.

Dharc:
"It just took me a really, really, REALLY long time to figure it out."

Mistral:
"Shall I remind you again next time we find ourselves crushed in a staircase?"

Mistral:
"Hellooo.." Detect that headband's magyyk

Dharc:
"Aw, man! Wait, how much are these things worth?"

Mistral:
"Depending on any magic on it, potentially quite a bit."

Imanish:
the headband has some magic, but it only activates once its wearer dies

Dharc:
it's the yohoho no headband

Dharc:
brings you back to life

Dharc:
as a skeleton

Dharc:
50 years later

Mistral:
"Activation on death... you've studied Spellcraft, right? Take a swig of this and see if you can get a reading."

Dharc:
"Sure I have! What mage worth his salt hasn't? And it's a personal policy of mine to never turn down a strange drink from one who might harbor a grudge against me."

Dharc:
Perfect Dharc chugs the tiny-ass vial and sees into magical eternity, directing his eyes to the heading band

Dharc:
It gives a _10 right
* Thrice rolls secretly to you: « 1d20+7+1+10 = 3 + 7 + 1 + 10 = 21 » => Invalid expression: « 1d20+7+1+10 = 3 + 7 + 1 + 10 = 21 ».

Mistral:
"Heheh."

Dharc:
"Don't worry, I'm already dying! I'm poisoned in something around three different ways!"

Dharc:
"You could slip me cyanide and it wouldn't impact me much at this point."

Imanish:
The headband is a headband that activates upon the death of the user. It turns the user's head into a beheaded.

Dharc:
"Oh, right. Might wanna wash this vial out."

Dharc:
"Oh, wow! This is awesome! Hey, I wanna test this out on you real quick!"

Mistral:
"...that would entirely depend on what the effect is."

Dharc:
"See, when the wearer eats the wrong bitta pufferfish, so to speak, PLOP! This thing brings 'em back! As one of those undead head things."

Dharc:
Dharc points to the undead head thing, or unheadthing, next to his feet, "Onna those."

Mistral:
"That is foul and I resent you for even suggesting it."

Dharc:
"Such a spoilsport! Negative Nancy. Well...you said there's more stuff to kill in here, right? How about we hop to that?"

Baou:
"Sometimes, at least, the man has his priorities straight."

Mistral:
and so we go and kill the things

Mistral:
also grabbin those ingots

Dharc:
bitch I will literally make you hear nothing but the touch fuzzy get dizzy trumpet for all of eternity if you don't gimme those damn ingots

Mistral:
you got the deathskull reviver thing

Dharc:
it'll be like ZUN's havin his own little orchestra in that empty-ass head of yours

Mistral:
it's only fair

Mistral:
"I can find someone in the cult to pawn that off on."

Dharc:
"So...you can sell it, but I have to sell it?"

Mistral:
"There are plenty of crazies who would love to be reborn as an abominations."

Mistral:
-s

Dharc:
Dharc kicks in the goddamn door

Dharc:
Let's do this shit

Vargouille 5:
skree
Baou has received initiative.

Dharc:
agi

Vargouille 5:
welp that's it that's the end

Vargouille 5:
« 1d20+1 = 15 + 1 = 16 » omg

Dharc:
« 1d20+2 = 7 + 2 = 9 »

Baou:
« 1d20+1 = 18 + 1 = 19 »

Baou:
aw man

Baou:
lookit that motherfucker

Baou:
Itsa me Baouio

Skeleton Servant 3:
« 1d20+6 = 16 + 6 = 22 »

Skeleton Servant 1:
« 1d20+6 = 2 + 6 = 8 »

Baou:
fuck you m8

Skeleton Servant 1:
I think it can be assumed that we kill these things.

Skeleton Servant 1:
pretty easily.

Skeleton Servant 1:
it's a totally controlled encounter

Vargouille 5:
what is this earthbound

Skeleton Servant 1:
I made that exact comparison on Skype

Vargouille 6:
« 1d20+1 = 7 + 1 = 8 »

Skeleton Servant 3:
« 1d20 = 4 » slishy slash
Baou has received initiative.

Baou:
« 1d20+6 = 20 + 6 = 26 »

Baou:
« 1d20+6 = 16 + 6 = 22 »

Baou:
« 1d6+3+1d6+3 = 6 + 3 + 6 + 3 = 18 »

Baou:
eat

Baou:
m

Baou:
y

Baou:
a

Baou:
s

Baou:
s

Baou:
Baou slices the Vargoille into sashimi and balances it on his sword

Vargouille 5:
Vargouille 5 loses 18 hit points.

Vargouille 5:
ow im dead
Dharc has received initiative.

Dharc:
« 1d20+6 = 10 + 6 = 16 »

Dharc:
« 1d10+6 = 2 + 6 = 8 »

Dharc:
aw

Dharc:
shit

Vargouille 6:
Vargouille 6 loses 8 hit points.

Skeleton Servant 1:
« 1d20+2 = 18 + 2 = 20 »

Skeleton Servant 1:
that was with simitah

Baou:
Man this nigga SUCKED

Skeleton Servant 1:
« 1d20+2 = 4 + 2 = 6 » CRITBOYZ

Skeleton Servant 1:
no

Skeleton Servant 1:
« 1d6 = 1 »

Skeleton Servant 1:
m

Vargouille 6:
Vargouille 6 loses 1 hit points.

Dharc:
« 1d20+6 = 17 + 6 = 23 »

Dharc:
« 1d10+6 = 1 + 6 = 7 »

Dharc:
m

Dharc:
« 7+1 = 7 + 1 = 8 »

Vargouille 6:
Vargouille 6 loses 7 hit points.

Vargouille 6:
Vargouille 6 loses 1 hit points.

Vargouille 6:
I wll bite u dharc « 1d20+5 = 16 + 5 = 21 »

Dharc:
oqw

Vargouille 6:
« 1d4 = 2 »+poison pls

Dharc:
[1d20+4

Dharc:
« 1d20+4 = 18 + 4 = 22 »

Skeleton Servant 3:
« 1d20+4 = 15 + 4 = 19 »« 1d20+4 = 5 + 4 = 9 » get some dead

Skeleton Servant 3:
« 1d4+1 = 1 + 1 = 2 »

Vargouille 6:
Vargouille 6 loses 2 hit points.

Vargouille 6:
600xp each

Mistral:
600*3+Beheaded*3+Inamesh+Hephaestus

Mistral:
all over two

Mistral:
that's gotta be more than a fuckin thousand come on man

Mistral:
« 1800+405+600+800 = 1800 + 405 + 600 + 800 = 3605 »

Mistral:
« 3605/2 = 3605 / 2 = 1802.5 »

Mistral:
« 6535+802+600 = 6535 + 802 + 600 = 7937 »

Vargouille 6:
but anyway in b21 is a darkwood box