regarding the trap video

I watched the video, and the poster has some good points, however, my use of any word comes down to context.  If I saw someone using the word as an insult, I would politely ask them to have more respect for trans people, and if they refuse?  I simply stop associating with them.  I don't have time to spend with people who are so prejudiced.

Online, everyone is anonymous.  Nobody can really know for sure who is on the other side of the monitor.  Anyone could say it and then say they are trans, so it's ok.  Again, it should come down to context.

Is this word being used to belittle someone who is adjusting their appearance to reflect their real gender?  Then in those cases, it is a slur, and rather than say 'don't use that word', the issue isn't their word choice so much as a shitty attitude.

Is it referring to a trans person in a positive manner?  It may be they are doing this purposefully to try to take away the harmful power from the word.  It may be that they don't know it's a common slur.  It may be that the person they're referring to has called themselves a trap or given permission.  They might even be a trans person.

Is the word being used to talk about someone who purposefully uses the opposite gender's dress and mannerisms in order to cause harm by bait-and-switch?  Baiting and switching is wrong.  This person is using the term to refer to someone who willfully takes part in immoral, possibly rapist behaviors.

Nobody has to like the word.  I have no control over the feelings of others regarding it.  For me, it comes down to the context and situation in which it is used that determines if it is a slur or not, and it is context that will alter a word's meaning more surely than trying to police word usage, because by asking people not to use a word, you give that word more power as a tool for harm.  You're saying, "you can use this word as a weapon against me to hurt me," and that increases the problem as it invites an individual to use it more for a reaction.