Protein Shake

Existential teddy #1: We live in a hopelessly depressing world. With endless opportunities from mindless self indulgence, it's easy to forget this. But we live in a hopelessly depressing world.

Existential teddy #2: While the hygienist was doing what she needed in my mouth, my thoughts turned to the standard Christian and Muslim doctrine of Hell. I thought to myself, "What if a God were to impose upon me after I die, this experience of plaque removal with me sitting in a dentist's chair, with this level of moderate discomfort, not for twenty minutes, but for ever. And not just me but a lot of other people. Would that God be worthy of my worship?" No.

Existential teddy #3: Do I think I am an animal? No; only in certain ways. Do I think I am weird? Well fuck yeah, I'm weird.
Existential teddy #4: So, um, I don't know the ... the evidence is piling up that this is um also this uh there's like this ancient legend of what's called Nemesis. That there is a star, a Nemesis star that obliterates Earth once every so often and I do think in ancient times they were saying it was every twenty six million years but uh they uh they had uh an understanding of this comprehension that every so often the Earth is demolished by the passing of a star.

Existential teddy #5: We're all weak flesh. The flesh is very demanding you see. It demands to be fed, demands to be the right temperature, demands to have pain, fixed.

Existential teddy #6: Um bestiality is well, it's the sexual fetish that has to do with animals, which, there's nothing particularly wrong with that, so far as I'm concerned because of course there's a consent issue there, but so far I'm concerned, animals either give their consent by "not tearing your face off" or they don't give consent by tearing your face off. I'm sorry but if even a dog doesn't want you doing something to it, it is going to kill you. That is the way that that fucking works. I'm sorry but animals they don't want some, they don't want you doing something to them, you're not going to fucking do it.

Existential teddy #7: I haven't been very happy lately. Because, I have no real friends to speak of.

Existential teddy #8: Even if like, like imagine if we were messing with genetics and we - this is like sci-fi stuff, way sci-fi stuff - like we, we created a, a being that was thousands of times more intelligent than us and it would keep replicating itself uncontrollably. You know, if we weren't able to get those things all killed, um what do you think would happen to us? Do you not think that we would eventually be pretty much herded because these intelligent things can just pretty much see all these patters that to them are very simple that we do and just be like wow, that would be so easy to control. And we would be, we would be just like cattle. Cattle! To any beings that are, that are hundreds, thousands of times smarter than us, we are cattle. And for us to think, "No we wouldn't, we wouldn't be cattle!" Dude. What are you smoking? If you think that beings that are thousands of times smarter than us couldn't just herd us around just like we herd around the rest of the animals here. We are animals.

Existential teddy #9: I have few simple questions. Is this world real? Is this body real? Is your body real? Is your God the right one or the other ones? Is this just a game? Just a short part of the Lord's story? Or it will be just darkness and the end of our eyes.

Existential teddy #10: Um uh, it's so weird man, there's got to be some nuts out there man because I can see myself when like, when I was rising out of my body, when I was sliding forward, I could see. I could see like, my body, my original body almost look like a ghost. I was actually just a morbid entity, a spirit type being like anything. [Incomprehensible]

Existential teddy #11: So, lately everybody's been asking me, "How's life?" They've been asking this because [acting kind of coo-coo] and depressed. But you know what guys? Life's shit, at the moment. By the way, for your information.

Existential teddy #12: So I, I get out of the car. I go over and I talk to him, and uh and we're talking and i tell him about how I've been a little depressed lately, and, his only, his only response is, "Well, you wouldn't be sad if you, if you, let the Lord Jesus Christ in your heart." None, none of that "Oh you're my son." None of the "Oh you're my son oh how I always love you and blah blah blah. No! Fucking man in the sky again! I didn't say anything, I just turned and walked away. And if he was to die tonight, I wouldn't give a shit.

Existential teddy #13: We think of [phallic] and some holy Roman empire, it is the Satanic entity forces that exist on this planet live in the tombs of the Vatican. I could take my life on it. They are Satanic. They are placing twenty six vaccines in children before the age of six when we didn't need any one when we were children. Without one polio vaccine when we were like seven years old or something like that. I've never been sick since I was twenty one years old. And I have never received a single shot. Now, except when my father shot at me, but that's another story altogether. So the, they want you dead. They want you dead, they want you dead.

Existential teddy #14: Man you better call in a hearse. Coz I'm about to go straight for your bitch's purse. Man, you decide what's worse, me being in the hood or doing no good. I already told you "Give me a job!" I'm [booking], I'm praying. I'm looking to God and I swear to God I'm saying. But it seems he don't answer. Still I sit here, like a sole snowman, sir. Man I'm so insecure, but I still pause, like a bear with no paws I'm not going to be able to fish. But like I said, I'm not going to waste my time on a wish.

Existential teddy #15: There's people every day around the world that are dying and go to Hell. The statistics speak that every second, there's almost two people that are going into eternity and by far most of them are going to Hell. You know, all these people that are dying and all these tragedies across the world People that are dying today and airplane accidents, people that today and vehicle accidents, people that are leaving in this Earth today and with diseases. All throughout the day you know there's thousands and thousands and thousands and thousands and thousands of people that are taking this, their last breath on the Earth today. Today could be your day, today could be my day.

Existential teddy #16: I believe that the world is going to end. Yes! And no matter what you believe in life, or what you don't believe, no. There is one thing that's going to happen in this world, it is going to end.

Existential teddy #17: Humanity is essentially deluded because reality itself is pure horror. What we see around us is a tiny little layer, just held on precariously by surface tension over a universe that is fundamentally bleak, horrifying, and unbearable and people who discover the truth invariably go insane or pay some other terrible price for it.