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- >Dash Day in Equestria
- >It's always Dash Day for you cause you are Rainbow Dash
- >And you are the most awesome thing to hit Equestria since anything
- >At least you thought you were until that rugged hairless ape Anon came to town.
- >One freak egg-headed experiment by none other than Twilight, Queen of the Egg-heads brought him here.
- >And boy where you happy about that one
- >He's athletic, he's funny, spontaneous, and a bit dangerous
- >You had a thing for danger, and when he showed you those canines
- >Oh-ho your wings still twitch when you think about them.
- >And it's getting worse, which is bad considering you're flying right now.
- >Sweet Celestia wings stop bonering!
- >W: Not until you get some of that hot monkey DICK
- >I can't do that he's a human he'll think it's weird!
- >W: What isn't weird is that he isn't pulling your mane right now and rut-
- >Celestia damn it wings you aren't helping!
- >B: Oh by the way you're dripping like a faucet
- >Thanks brain... god damn it!
- --
- >As you're flying over a few unfortunate ponies are subjugated to your fluids
- >"Hey Mommy is it raining? Why does the rain smell like hay and sweet grass?"
- >"No sweetie there isn't a cloud in the... sweetie don't look up."
- >"Why not Mommy?"
- >"Cause if you do you won't get any presents Hearts-Warming Eve."
- >"Aww... okay..."
- >"Bucking Rainbow Dash..."
- >"What was that Mommy?"
- >"Nothing Sweetie."
- --
- >You need to hurry up and get to Anon's house before this gets worse.
- >V: Aww yeah we gettin some!
- >No we aren't vag!
- >V: Oh yes we are.
- >It takes you a few minutes for you to get to Anon's considering your problem.
- >When you're at his door you're fidgeting, trying to get your wings to stop throbbing.
- >Ever since your stupid brain made you think of preening Anon's cum out of your feathers you haven't been able to right your wings.
- >Stupid brain, stupid wings, stupid winking ponyvag.
- >With your wings finally at half mast you knock at the door.
- >Within a few minutes Anon opens his door
- >... in nothing but a towel wrapped around his waist.
- >You look over his cut form, he's no iron will but he's no slouch either
- >Them pectorals, those abs, dem biceps
- >Your wings are flaring out again and the throbbing is worse.
- >B: Come on stupid say something!
- >"Hi Gah-gahfug."
- >B: What was that?! Was that even english?!
- >Shut up brain I'm trying!
- >W: Don't worry Dash, I got your back, try again.
- >Are you sure wings?
- >W: Yeah bro I got you?
- "Uh... Dash?"
- >"I want you to cu-"
- >Oh you sly motherbucker
- >W: It was worth a try wasn't it?
- >Brain a little help here?
- >"H-hey Anon, what's up? Sorry about that... I'm have a problem on my mind... it's kinda distracting."
- "Ah, let me guess, weather team?"
- >V: More like your not giving me some sweet lovin
- >Celestia damn it vag you're not helping!
- >V: Hey, it's not my fault you haven't told him how you felt.
- >Yeah but you're making it awkward
- >V: So take off that towel and blow em, awkward won't be a problem then
- >NO! That's like rape... isn't it?
- >V: Of course you won't you carpet munching dyke
- >Whorse!
- >B: Will you two stop it?
- >"NO!"
- "Dash... are you okay? Do you need to lie down or something?"
- >"I... uh... yeah that'd be nice."
- >V: Score.
- >Shut up vag.
- >Anon, being the gentlecolt that he is, helps lead you inside and to his room.
- >You have to say his home is quite spacious, it needs to be considering his size.
- >As you walk up the stairs you're sure to keep Anon in front
- >B: So you can look at that tight ass of his...
- >One more time... do that one more time brain
- >B: What? Wings and Vag are right you need a good rutting.
- >Is there any part of my body that hasn't betrayed me?
- >A: I HAVEN'T RAINBOW!
- >Oh god damn it your anus is talking now
- >Wait... Gilbert Godfried is that you?
- >A: The one and only!
- >WHY ARE YOU MY ASS?!
- >A: Hey toots someone needed to voice it and I haven't gotten any work in years.
- >So?
- >A: So just go with it!
- >Ugh... why is this happening to me?
- "Here we are."
- >He opens his door and leads you into his room.
- "Do you need anything? Water, food, soda...?
- >"Water's fine, thank you."
- "Welcome."
- >V: A well of Anon's cum...
- >I'm not even gonna dignify that with a response.
- >V: Come on you know you want it
- >No I don't!
- >V: Yes you do...
- >Yeah I totally do- Hey!
- >V: See? You even agree with me, besides I'm soaking his blankets right now
- >...What?
- >V: Yup, totally getting your hay stink all over it, he's gonna smell it when he walks in
- >No..
- >V: Then he's going to ask about it
- >No no no....
- >V: And then you're going to stretch like a cat and ask him to come inside you!
- >Nonononono BUCK!
- >You turn to find that your vag is indeed betraying you, it's totally ruining Anon's blankets.
- >His once red blanket now has a darkened puddle which is only getting larger
- >B: Hey Dash
- >Yes Brain?
- >B: I have an ide-
- >NO!
- >B: But Dash I-
- >NO!
- >B: Come on... please? It'll help solve this problem.
- >It will?
- >B: Yes, but you're going to have to trust me, and Gilbert has to help.
- >A: CAN DO!
- >C: And I shall help as well.
- >B: Well hello there clitoris
- >C: Hello Brain
- >Morgan Freeman? Is that you?
- >C: Yes it is Rainbow, and you should listen to your brain. He's got a plan that will solve everything.
- >...You know what, I'm game.
- >B: Sweet... okay here's what you do...
- --
- "Hey Rainbow I've got your water..."
- >You are Anonymous, and in your six months of being here you haven't seen something quite like this.
- >Rainbow Dash is currently standing on your bed... with clouds wrapped around her
- >It looks like she's wearing a bikini
- >Your dick has no idea what to do, but you can feel it pitching a tent under your towel
- >"Hey there handsome."
- "D-Dash...?"
- >"Ya know... I do have a problem... but I don't think I can tell you.
- "What are you gonna do then?"
- >"I'm gonna sing it."
- "..."
- >You hear music start to play from some random part of your house
- >Yet you don't own a radio, weird.
- >When she starts to sing your eyes widen in horror
- >How does she know that song... why is she singing that terrible song?!
- >"S is for the simple need"
- >"E is for the ecstasy"
- >"X is just to mark the spot cause that's the one yo-"
- >You don't wait for her to finish, she's just killed your boner
- >So you walk over, pick her up, and fling her out of your window
- >You hate Nickleback with a passion
- >Today just turned into a horrible one.
- >Day Derp in Equestria
- >You are Derpy Hooves AKA Ditzy Doo, Ms. Muffin, Wild Derp, and of course the fan favorite: The Mare with the Iron Flank.
- >But Derpy will suffice, after all that's what all your friends call you.
- >Right now you're en route to Anon's house
- >You missed it seventeen times already, but the eighteenth is the charm
- >When you land at what you hope to be his house you knock
- >Then you notice just how large his house is... yeah you got the right one
- >That's when you see him, Anonymous the Human
- >He opens the door and greets you with a smile
- >You like it when he smiles...
- >SLIT HIS THROAT YOU FUCKING CUNT!
- >Quiet Sergeant Wall Eye.
- >DO IT FAGGOT!
- >You've learned to tune out Wall Eye because he says mean things
- >In turn he punishes you by making you look at the ground while you're trying to look at Anonymous.
- "Hey Derpy, got a letter for me?"
- >He's nice, he isn't grimacing at your problem.
- >"A package actually! Gimme a moment."
- >You rummage around your pack and finally a rather large brown package is pulled from within.
- "Wow, it's finally here."
- >"Yup."
- "How did it fit in the bag? It's like twice it's size."
- >"Magic."
- >Magic you little maggot! Now drop and give me twenty!
- >Please cease with your uncouth language Wall Eye.
- >Fuck you and fuck your sister brain!
- >We do not have a sister you brutish cow.
- "Interesting, I could use one of those magic bags. Thanks Derpy."
- >"No problem Anonymous!"
- >Hmm, should I stay or should I deliver more packages?
- >Don't worry dear, he was your last stop, you have time to kill.
- >Thanks brain.
- >You are quite welcome Derpy.
- >You two make me sick!
- >No one cares Wall Eye.
- "Hey, you busy?"
- >You shake your head
- "Want to come inside and grab a drink? It's been a while since anypony came to visit."
- >"I'd love to!"
- >Anon opens his door wider and you walk around him
- >He closes the door as you step inside
- >Wow his house is so clean!
- >There aren't any empty bags of chips on the ground or used bubble wrap covering his furniture!
- >Because he keeps his place clean unlike you Derpy.
- >I know brain, but those chips are so delicious and that bubble wrap is fuuuuun.
- >That does not excuse you from picking up after your refuse.
- >I know... but I get distracted.
- >It's the bubble wrap isn't it?
- >...Yes. Yes it is.
- >Speaking of which, it looks like Anon has some too.
- >He does brain?
- >You look to find Anon opening his package of Hard Cider and sure enough there's bubble wrap on both bottles.
- >When he removes them both of your eyes fixate on them as they fall to the floor.
- >He turns from his bottles to see you staring at them
- >You hear him chuckle before he slides a them your way
- "Have fun Derpy."
- >"YAY!"
- >You waste no time in going crazy on those little pieces of air filled plastic.
- >*Poppopopopopopopopopopopopopopopopop*
- >You do a little dance on the sheets giggling madly
- >All the while Anon places his bottles on a nearby coffee table
- >When he takes a seat he pops open the top of one and takes a hearty swig
- >He exhales sharply after getting a good taste
- "Now that's the kind of burn I'm lookin for. Hey Derpy?"
- >You stop and turn his way
- >"Yes?"
- >He motions to his other bottle.
- "I said you could have a drink."
- >Oooh Cider... but should you?
- >I wouldn't do it Derpy.
- >That's cause you're a little sissy! Go ahead Derpy get you some of that stuff!
- >Okay Sergeant Wall Eye
- >Damn right we're gonna get drunk!
- >Oh Celestia help me...
- >Some time later...
- >Both of you have downed his bottles of booze.
- >H... Hey Derpy?
- >Yeah *hic* brain?
- >Ask him why he's all alone, *snicker* he's probably autistic.
- >That's not very nice brain.
- >"Hey Anon... why're you all by *hic* yourself?
- "Causa Everfree Forest backyard."
- >He points his thumb to a window and sure enough, the Everfree Forest is right there in plain sight.
- >"Oh...?"
- "Anythin elsh?"
- >"Nope."
- "Okay."
- >The two of you sit in silence for a little while.
- "Wanna wash a movie?"
- >"Hehehehe wash a movie... yesh *hic*"
- >Anonymous leans forward and faceplants into the floor.
- >THERE'S YOUR CHANCE SIT ON HIS FACE!
- >*hic* what?
- >What?
- >You panzy, use your iron flank and crush that skull of his!
- >Why aren't you *hic* drunk Sgt Wall Eye?
- >Cause I'm not a pussy, now do it!
- >Derpy... Der...Der... do it.
- >You sure brain?
- >Yes.
- >...Okay!
- >You do as your brain says and flip Anon over
- >Then you sit on his face
- >He voices his surprise into your marehood and anus
- >You can feel your face grow warm as he starts to come to terms with what's going on
- >Then you feel his tongue start to invade your private areas
- >feelsgoodman
- >You cum with the force of 1000 suns 30 seconds later.
- >Anon's cunninglus leaves your body wanting more
- >Suddenly your ponyvag has something to say.
- >F̴̶̝̔̑ͭ̏́ų̢̹͈̬ͥ͒ͮ̐c̒̓̒͗͗͏̤̜̭̟́͡k̲̭̂̏̓͑̈́̏ ̨̧̺͚̖̜̹̳̇̒̎̒͆̓͟h̨̹͈̥͈͓̪͉͇͌̋̒ͩͩ̀͜ͅi̜̯̹̰͚̙͐̃ͬ̎ͧͯm̦̼͋͑͋̂ͦ̂̍̾̄́͜ ͖̲̮͕̯̞͈͐͑̓ͨ̊ͨ̋̓̀͡r̺̽̄ͨ̒ȃ͍̜̠̮̼͍ͥͧ͜w̸͇̬̰̮̠͋̉͆̈́̂ͅ ̓̈́̔̔҉̶̟͎D̟̤̗͉͙̓͐̌̈̎̿ȅ̞̭ͥ̒̚͝ͅrͪͣ̿̾ͫ̽̑͏̱͓͓̱̘̲̖͕p̷͖͖ͩͬ̎́͂̽͡ỵ̳̞̓̒͑ͮ͒̋͐̌
- >Today was a drunken sex fest kinda day
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