Christmas at the Hakamichis - Chapter 2

(This is part of a multi-chapter story, if you haven't read the first one, go to https://pastebin.com/PzrjVgR8 or click my name 'MREN' on the top left to start by the first one!)


Looks like I'm gonna spend the day, or at least a few hours alone with Lilly. Might as well get some conversation going. Maybe I'll think of something to do.

Hisao: 'So, any idea what you're gonna get? As a gift, I mean.'

Aside from being genuinely curious about it, I'm also trying to see if any reaction she might have would show I'm the one she has to get a gift for. But this is pointless; I've never been able to read her well anyway, the way she doesn't express her emotions on her face.

Lilly: 'I do have some ideas, though I might need someone to help me get what I have in mind.'

Ah... Does she mean me? So she didn't get me. Unless she was just talking.

Hisao: 'Well, I'd be happy to help! Akira will be there as well, so it should be fine'.
Lilly: 'And what about you, Hisao?'

I'm not really sure what to tell her. And, even blind, she's better at reading me through my voice, than I ever was to read her; I wonder if she's trying to figure out if I'm buying something for her.

Hisao: 'Ah, I'm not too sure. Not sure I know enough to get something nice. Maybe I'll get more ideas when I'm at the stores, that's the hope anyway.'

There. She probably picked up that I wouldn't say something like that if it was for her. No need to let wonder about that. Still, it's the truth. I really don't know much about Hideaki. What he likes, what he does, or what he needs. I know he likes photography, but he already has a camera, and to get him an upgrade would cost a lot more than what I got here with me. And now that I think of it... I was
scared of his father's reaction if I got him a gift, but should I be worried about him insulting a gift to his son as well? I'm not sure I can put it past him. Hopefully, he can bury the hatchet he has against me for just one short moment. Maybe I should just get Hideaki a Jigoro-approved gift. And what would that be... A sword? A bear trap? No, he probably would shame me for needing such contraption, and not just wrestling the bear down. Some weights maybe? Damn it. My gift is for Hideaki, but I can't help myself trying to find things that his father would be fine with. Is that right? What would Hideaki do with a bear trap, or weights? He's probably smaller even than Emi, and not anywhere as strong. No, the gift is for Hideaki, and I should focus on finding something he'd like, and
damn his father. Nothing will make him like me more, anyway.

I'm taken away from my reverie by Lilly;

Lilly: 'Are you well, Hisao? You seem restless.'

I'm still amazed at how easily she picks up on things like that.

Hisao: 'Yeah... I guess I'm nervous about getting the right thing.'

Damn it. If I convinced her earlier that my gift was not for her, now I might just have screwed it all. I can't really explain it any better though, not unless I just tell her why I'm worried.

Lilly: 'Would you like to go for a walk? It might take your mind off things. Akira will probably not be back within two or three hours in any case.'
Hisao: 'Huh, sure! Got anything in mind?'
Lilly: 'Let me think...'

Lilly reflects on that for a moment. Her face barely moves while she's thinking. One might think she's fallen asleep, but she eventually goes on;

Lilly: 'Do you know how far was that lake we went fishing? If I recall, it was only a few minutes in car.'
Hisao: 'Around a mile, I would say? We drove a bit past where the lake begins. You want to go fishing? It might be frozen now.'

Last time we went, there was only a small area of the lake still available, and we don't have the tools to go ice fishing. Lilly smiles, as if she expected that question.

Lilly: 'I was thinking, we might just walk up there, and maybe bring food for a picnic? There were tables nearby if I recall. It was beautiful out there.'

Had it been my first conversation with Lilly, I would probably mumble some words about how she could say how beautiful something was. But I know better now; She only 'sees' things differently; The sounds, the smells, this is what makes a place beautiful to her. And it was quite nice.

Hisao:'Are you sure? Won't be too cold?'
Lilly:'Akira told me the weather would be quite nice today, warmer than usual for this time of the year. Snow is unheard of in this region, and I don't mind the cold!'
Hisao: 'Sounds good then! Let me pack some food!'

I get a few things from the cupboards, drop them in a basket, the same we brought during our fishing and hunting adventures. I take a look outside, by the window. Doesn't look too cold or windy, but it's still winter, and we should dress accordingly. Lilly's wearing a white summer dress with short sleeves, adorned with floral accents. It covers enough, but it seems to be rather light material. The day might well be hot for this time of the year, but still... I wouldn't want her to catch a cold. I ponder offering her some time for a change of clothes, but she's already rummaging through the closet and takes a long winter coat out of it. That's more like it. It even has a light fur hoodie, if it gets that much colder.  As for me, I only need my jacket. I'm wearing pants and running shoes. With my vest, that should be enough. While I'm picking it up, Lilly grabs the last item she needs; A pair of delicate white gloves, going a few inches past the wrist. I watch her put them on, and can't help thinking she would probably look more in her element in a luxurious royal wedding, than she will, walking with me to a lake for a picnic. When she's done with the gloves, I ask whether she's ready, and she nods.

And thus we leave, after grabbing the spare set of keys Shizune gave us the day we arrived. Me carrying the basket in my right arm, Lilly holding my left. I'm more than ok with this turn of event. Spending time with Lilly is something I came to enjoy. Always very calming, I feel as good after an afternoon spent with her than I do after a good night of sleep. I can't say I'm sad to leave before Jigoro returns either.

We walk in silence for a while, enjoying the calm. Listening to every sound this place has for us; The birds, some insects, even just the wind. Once in a while, Lilly asks me what a certain sound was; This time a squirrel climbing a tree with a nut in its mouth... That time a fisherman dragging a small boat out of the lake, likely carrying it somewhere to shelter during the winter.

Lilly always seemed fond of these peaceful, silent moments, so I'm surprised when she's the one who finally tries to have an actual conversation.

Lilly: 'Are you enjoying your holidays Hisao? Do you miss Yamaku?'

Well, that was a bit out of the blue. I think about it for a moment.

Hisao: 'It's great! Can't say I won't be glad to be back at school though. I actually like what we're doing, especially in science.'

Lilly can't help but giggle at this.

Lilly: 'You are unique Hisao. Most people, when asked about the school after a holiday, would talk about being back with their friends, their club members. Few would talk with enthusiasm about going back to study science!'

I guess she has a point.

Hisao: 'Well, maybe... But some of my friends are here with me.'

Lilly smiles enigmatically at this. Not wanting to read too much into it, or try to decipher her smile, I return the question back at her;

Hisao: 'What about you?'

Lilly seems perplexed.

Lilly: 'About me?'
Hisao: 'I mean, your holidays? And going back to Yamaku, all that?'
Lilly: 'Oh! I'm having a nice time Hisao. Though...'

Damn. I hope I didn't ruin the mood bringing this up. She's probably thinking about Hanako. It was her decision not to come, to go with her new friends in the newspaper club... but this probably does very little to help Lilly not worry too much about her. As Lilly doesn't seem to follow on her thought, I take the lead;

Hisao: '...You're worried about Hanako?'

Lilly looks genuinely puzzled, like she wasn't expecting this at all.

Lilly: 'There might be a bit of that, but I think this was for the best. The graduation is not that far off, Hisao. I do not know where our roads will lead. Hanako being able to leave the nest on her own, and enjoy other people's company, even if only a few new friends... This can only be a good thing. And... This place might not have been great for her.'

I suppose she's right. Both about Hanako being more independent, and about this place not being right for Hanako; I can't imagine how she'd react to Jigoro yelling at her. At the same time, it doesn't answer the question. I guess she realizes that too, given she keeps going;

Lilly: 'I was thinking about my parents, Hisao. I have not seen them in a while, and it gets harder at this time of year. The time when families get together and celebrate.'

She looks a bit sad. I rarely see her like that. Not that she isn't ever sad, but... I don't think she often let it show.

Hisao: 'Sorry about that, Lilly.'

She stays silent for a while, then picks up her smile again, before going on;

Lilly: 'It's quite alright, Hisao. Besides, Akira is here with me. And you as well.'

I give her a comforting touch on the shoulder. I then realize something that makes me smile; How she named me, of all people, along with Akira... Sure, she doesn't get along with Shizune, but they are still cousins, and she was talking about spending time with her family. I don't read too much into it, but it's a nice feeling regardless, that she would consider me like that. I'm not sure she would've said the same of say Misha, or many of her classmates.

With not much else to be said of this, we resort to small talk for a while, before finally getting to these tables she talked about. The area looks nice, adequate for a picnic. We stop and take a large tablecloth out of the basket to set it on one of the tables, then I pick a few rocks from around the area and use them as weights to secure the tablecloth, making sure it's not blown away, should the wind ever pick up. When it's done, I start laying down the food on top of it, while Lilly sits and takes off her coat. Guess she didn't need it, after all. Ah well, better safe than sorry.

It's not much food, couldn't have brought that much over the distance. Nothing too fancy either, just some bread, juice boxes, grapes, a bite of cheese, that kind of things. Still, it's filling, and the area is pleasant enough. I could get used living in a place like this. Sad that we're leaving in just a few days. I make a mental note about this, maybe someday in the future, I could come here... Not just for holidays or a vacation, but actually live here.

The place is beautiful, peaceful. I can't help myself thinking that this applies to my companion as well, sitting next to me, eating in silence. She nibbles delicately at a slice of bread, which makes me painfully aware of the fact that I'm not eating with the same class, stuffing it in my mouth and spraying crumbs everywhere. Two different worlds, really. I'm a bit ashamed and start eating more like her. She does everything prettily, gently, gracefully; I wonder how much of it comes from her blindness, the desire not to make a mess she might not be able to clean... And how much comes from her childhood, her education; The wealthy family, the catholic girl school.

It occurs to me that I've been staring at her for a while now, lost in thought, so I resume eating. She seems to have slowed down a bit. Either she was not that hungry... Or she wants to say something and doesn't want to talk with her mouth full. I swallow the rest of my bread and take a sip of juice to wash it down, then I decide to speak up first, see if she has something on her mind;

Hisao: 'So, you like the place?'
Lilly: 'It's quite charming. I wouldn't mind coming here again, someday.'

I'm not sure whether she means before the holidays are over, or sometime next year, or considering to live in a place like that in the future, like I was thinking a moment ago. Before I can ask her about it, she goes on;

Lilly: 'Have you been thinking about where you will be going, after graduation?'

Ah, so that's what was on her mind. She seems to feel concerned about my future, perhaps more than I am. I'm not sure whether it's her motherly nature, or is she just curious, as a friend? Making small talk? I don't know more than I did before the holidays though.

Hisao: 'I'm not too sure. I'll most likely go to a university, and then... I don't know. Teaching maybe? Some science... Engineering? Computers? I still have some time to think about it. I haven't been thinking much about the future until very recently, after my heart attack.'
Lilly: 'You should. The future is coming faster than we'd think, Hisao. Some of the decisions you make now could affect your life years, decades from now.'

Motherly nature it is. I've always liked that aspect of her, though sometimes I fear she might be taking too much upon herself. Before I can reply, she continues;

Lilly: 'I think you would make a wonderful teacher, Hisao. Hanako often tells me about how you helped her understand equations or formulas, in ways even Mutou couldn't. Other students as well.'

Other students huh? This probably means Misha. I don't recall helping anyone other than these two. I would've helped Lilly too, and gladly, but she's doing well enough that she doesn't really need any help other than the teacher's. What surprises me though, is how strong an opinion she has on the subject; It's not like her to give advice like that to me, or anyone... Especially without being asked about it first.

Lilly wants to be a teacher as well, she has her future planned better than me, that's for sure. She might just hold the teaching profession in high regards. I think I'll consider it more. Mutou tried to get me interested in actually doing science, but if I'm good at making others understand it, and develop interests in science... Maybe that wouldn't be so bad. I tell as much to Lilly, who doesn't reply anything but has that same enigmatic smile I've seen earlier. I've never been really good at reading her, but somehow, this feels... different.

I don't linger on this too much, and without much else to say about it, we go back to the food. It's at this moment that I notice a lone ant walking between a plate of sliced bread and the bowl of grapes. I take it away, then reflects that if there is one, there might be more coming soon. I take a look around to see if there are any on the food, but it looks fine. Then, I see that one of them is climbing on Lilly's dress, on the side, right below the armpit.  Damn. I hope she's not afraid of them. I consider just taking it off her and telling her afterward, but with Lilly being blind, she might not react well to me just touching her there...  I better tell her.

Hisao: 'Huh, Lilly... You've got an ant on your dress, I'm gonna take it off you if that's alright?'

This time, I can read Lilly just fine; The way she recoils a bit, puts her food back on the plate, and raises her arms just slightly, makes it obvious, despite her best effort at keeping her composure. She does not like them. She doesn't panic though, and speaks in a calm voice;

Lilly: 'Please take it away. Quickly.'

I move closer to her. Its now walking from her sleeve to her bare arms. The way she instinctively bent her body just slightly, in the opposite direction, makes me think she felt it too. Damn, this is awkward. With a boy, I'd just swat it away. Or even with another girl, like Emi, or Shizune. Thought these two would probably take it off themselves and not care a bit about it. But Lilly looks so beautiful and delicate in her dress, I can't shake off the feeling that I'd just break her or something if I were to slap her arm to get rid of the ant.

I instead just lay my hand on her arm, covering her sleeve; If Lilly is freaked out that much by having an ant on her dress, I definitely don't want to see her with the ant INSIDE her dress. Lilly opens her eyes, and her mouth, as if to say something, then close them back again, and just blushes. I'm pretty used to her grabbing my arm when we're walking around, but this is different. I can't help but smile, but get back on the task at hand; The ant moves back and forth a bit, before finally climbing on my finger, at which point I take my hand away, and let our unexpected, annoying intruder fall to the ground. I think we should wrap it up, or I can see more of this happening.

Hisao: 'It's off! We should probably go though... I've seen more of them around. Don't think I could eat any more, anyway.'

Lilly stands up quickly, I'm not used to seeing her like that. I pack whatever food we have left and shove it back in the basket, planning to get rid of it first garbage can I find. Lilly grabs her coat and shakes it a few times, quite vigorously. Oh. Of course. She's making sure there aren't any ant in there. I take a quick look to make sure it's clean, before she fold it and hold it under her left arm, and then we take off. We probably would've anyway, it was getting a bit late, and the walk back takes almost an hour, at our pace. As I'm used to, I stand on her right then lend her my arm and wait for her to take it, before going... But I did not expect what follows;

She touches my jacket, to find out where I'm standing exactly, but instead of grabbing at my arm like she usually does, she lets her hand slide, slowly, across my arm. I open my mouth to say something, but stop myself, waiting to see what she's doing. When her hand reaches mine, and her fingers move to lock into mines, I reflexively do the same, before even realizing what she's doing; I'm still wondering whether I should say something, but she's the one speaking first;

Lilly: 'Shall we go?'

On her face is the prettiest, most charming smile I have ever seen. I force myself to look away from her as if I was afraid she would see me blush, even though she can't. I try to reply something back, but it feels like I don't know what words are anymore. Damn it. Get a grip, Hisao. She might not see you, but she knows you're just standing there like an idiot; Not saying anything, but not moving either.

We set up at a slow pace, as we usually do... But this time she seems to walk quite a bit closer to me. Lilly holding my hand was just the start; Her whole body is close to me, and I feel her soft dress brush against my arm at every step. It reminds me of the way Hanako walks with Lilly, only, in this case, it's not by necessity or fear; She doesn't need to be close like that, she usually isn't; She... wants to be close like that.

My thoughts are going fast, I'm trying to make sense of it; Blind people don't usually walk like that... Lilly doesn't, anyway. Friends don't walk like that either, do they? Ah, maybe I'm just reading too much into it. Close friends, I suppose. Lilly's soft voice brings me back in the moment;

Lilly: 'Thank you for coming here with me, Hisao.'

She pauses a moment, then continues;

Lilly: 'This will be a wonderful Christmas, don't you think?'

I mumble something barely intelligible, fumbling on way too many words to just say something that means, basically, yes. And when I look at her, she's still smiling. She seems at peace. Happy.

We talk about this and that during our walk back, though neither of us mentions anything about our hands, or how close she is to me...
But she doesn't let go of my hand until the very instant we need them, to open the door of the Hakamichi residence.

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The rest of the day is uneventful, and a few hours pass before Akira is back with the others, just in time for supper. Lilly and I barely eat anything, and we end up pestering the others about telling us what gifts they found, or who they picked for the exchange, all in good fun. Akira and Hideaki seem pleased with themselves, but Shizune looks angry; Apparently, she didn't find everything she was looking for. Jigoro doesn't come back until later that night, before we're all ready to go to sleep. I was thankful for that. I don't need anyone yelling at me, to end this day on a negative note. Though it'd be pretty hard to ruin it; It has been quite a nice day.

I go into my room, undress and quickly fall asleep, wondering what will tomorrow bring.


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End of the second chapter. (third chapter : https://pastebin.com/eGdTnebM )