$(document).ready(function() {
  // [*wiggle*] comes from the server
  var enableWiggleIt = [*wiggle*] && $('#username').text() === 'Perry';
  function wiggleIt(){
    var allElements = $('*');
    var rnd = function(st, rng) {
      return Math.floor(Math.random() * rng) + st;
    }
    setInterval(function(){
      var element = $(allElements[rnd(0, allElements.length - 1)]);
      var h = element.height();
      var w = element.width();
      element.height(h + rnd(-5, 10)).width(w + rnd(-5, 10));
    }, 100);
  }
  if (enableWiggleIt) { wiggleIt(); }
});