DAiE Ch. 1 - The Ponies

>You are Doctor Anonymous. World renowned scientist and engineer. You hold a record breaking number of patents, and degrees of some sort in nearly every scientific discipline, some of which you founded.
>And right now, you are scared out of your mind.
>"...think we should keep 'im tied up! We don't know what this fella is, iffin' he is even a fella. He might be dangerous!"
>An unfamiliar, southern drawl. You do not open your eyes as your consciousness returns to you, but you can only assume she is talking about you.
>Then, you hear Albert. "I assure you, Ms. Applejack, that is not necessary! The doctor is no more dangerous then-"
>"An why should we trust you? You said he built you, you'd say anythin' to protect 'im even if he were dangerous!"
>"Applejack! I'm surprised at you. Just because we don't know who, or... what he is doesn't mean he's a threat!" This time, a calmer, more eloquent voice. Knowing at least someone is on your side, you finally decide to stir.
>"I think he seems friendly! And look, I think he's waking up!" A bubbly, excited voice ushers sight back into your eyes, and for a moment, you wish it hadn't.

>"Oh? An' what about them parapsrite thingies? We didn't know what -those- were, an' they ate mah entire crop! Why-"
>"Shooosh!" The bubbly voice cuts her off, pointing at you. At least, you think she is.
>You are surrounded by strange creatures, all of them looking like bigger versions of that talking horse you saw in the forest. There are six of them in total, a pink one to whom the bubbly voice belongs, an orange one with the southern drawl, and purple, blue, yellow and white ones.
>Half in panic, your addled brain immediately tells you to jump back. Your body slides painfully upright and away from the horsethings to other side of the couch you've been laid upon.
"Wh-what are-?!"
>Instantly, the yellow one springs to your side, putting what you assume is a hoof on your shoulder, her expression unnervingly human. It is stern, yet concerned.
>"Oh no you don't, you're in no condition to go jumping around like that, Mr.. uhm... eep!"
>She seems to suddenly become aware that you are awake and paying attention to her, and as quickly as she showed up she darts away, hiding behind the other creatures.
"Wh... what in Tesla's name is going on here?"

>The purple one steps forward. You can't get over how... odd these creatures look. They look equestrian, but... their odd colors, and soft smooth features are entirely alien. It's quite disconcerting. When she speaks, you recognize her as the voice that stood up for you.
>"Uhm... hello!" So you're not crazy. Or very crazy. These creatures are in fact speaking English.
"...h-hello."
>You manage to blurt out. All of the creatures are looking at you, especially the orange one.
>"Uhm... I'm Twilight Sparkle. Who are you?"
>You pause, processing the odd name, before responding.
"D.. Doctor Anonymous."
>The pink creature suddenly appears behind you, a grin on her face from ear to ear.
>"Nice to meet you, Anonymous! I'm Pinkie Pie! And these girls are my friends Applejack, Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash, Rarity, you've already met Twilight, oh and me! I'm Pinkie Pie!"
"Erm, you already said that. Pinkie... short for Pinkamina, I presume?"
>Her eyes light up. "Yeah! How did you know?!" The rest of the creatures look confused as well.
>"How did you know, Anony.. Anon..uh.. Anon?!" The orange one, Applejack, asks demandingly.
"It's just simple linguistics."

"But that's uh... beside the point. What I really want to know is... what are you? And where am I?"
>Pinkamina is quick to answer you. "Why, we're ponies silly, and this is Ponvyille, the bestest place in-
>Applejack interrupts her, her stern gaze still fixed on you.
"Hush, Pinkie, I'll be askin' the questions here Anonymoo.. Anon! Uh.. what're YOU, and what're you doin here?"
>Ponies. Right. Because these definitely look like earth horses. Nothing wrong with that statement at all. Nope.
"I'm a human. Homo sapiens. And... I don't know why I'm here."
>Twilight's deep purple eyes shift towards the ceiling in thought. "Homo sapiens... wise man?" She asks, looking back at you.
"Why, yes! Very good."
>You like this Twilight Sparkle already.
>"'e don't seem so wise iffin' he don't even know why he's here. Now listen, homo-"
"Anon will do, Applejack."
>"Fine. Listen, Anon. Now my little sister might be keen on trustin' you, and that hoverin' metal ball fella, Al', might speak up for you, but I ain't lettin' you loose from those ropes until I know for sure you ain't a danger."
>She walks up to you, her bright green eyes staring you down unwaveringly.
>"Ah just got one question for ya..."
"Yes?"
>"How do you feel about..."
"Yes?"
>"Apples?"

"Apples."
>"Apples."
"The fruit?"
>"The fruit."
"Well, that's not very specific. What type of apple? Golden? Granny Smith? Gala? McIntosh? Victory? And in what context, raw consumption or cooking? If you really expect me to tell you how I feel about apples, you're going to need to give me more information... than..."
>You feel the ropes loosen as Applejack pulls at the knot with her mouth.
>"Say no more Anon. Yer' alright by me." She looks up at you with a big grin. It seems these 'ponies' are easy to win over.

"Thanks, I think. Uhm.. where is Albert, by the way?"
>"Oh, right! You can let 'em in, Flutterhy!"
>The yellow pony opens the door, and Albert and the smaller pony run in.
>"Oh, Doctor, I'm so glad you're alright! You owe quite a lot to this little pony, Applebloom. She was the one I managed to convince to help me drag you out of Everfree forest, which I'm told is quite dangerous at night."
>"An don't think yer gettin' off without that talkin' to for even bein' there, little missy." Applejack says, scolding the smaller yellow pony.
"Well, either way, thank you very much, Applebloom."
>The little pony beams. "Think nothin' of it, Mr. Anon-ee-moose!"
"Now, ah, I don't suppose someone could repeat where I am?"
>"We're... not on Earth, anymore, Doctor. At least, not on OUR Earth." Albert responds.
"Then that confirms my suspicions."
>Twilight's eyes grow slightly wider, and you can see in them the familiar glow of a calculating mind, hungry for knowledge. It's a look you know well.
>"I think we have some talking to, Doctor. Would you mind walking with me?" She asks, gesturing to the door.
"Certainly! Ah.. we're not going... outside, are we?"

>You can see the worry on Albert's face, and the confusion on Twilight's.
>"I was going to. Is that a problem?"
"Oh, nonono! No... no problem at all!"
>You muster the biggest grin you can, but you are full aware that it looks entirely forced.
>"Oh, are you afraid of going outside? I used to be scared of going outside too, but... I.. uhm.."
>Fluttershy once again starts talking before realizing that you are much bigger, and apparently scarier than her, and she instantly shuts up, looking up at you with terrified eyes.
"No, no, I'm not scared of the outside, and there's no reason for you to be scared of me."
>You smile at her, hoping to calm her down.
"I'm just... well... I'm concerned."
>"Psh. About what?" Rainbow Dash asks, her slightly scratchy voice asking in a dismissive tone.
"About germs. And bugs. And dirt. And grime. Animals, plants, microbes, gravitational anomalies, solar attacks, the government, people who aren't the government, climate change, the propagation of organic food, portals to parallel dimensions (doubly so now), Rick Santoru-"
>Pinkamina's hoof on your mouth shuts you up. Mostly because another creature istouchingyourmouthohgodohgodohgodbreatheAnonymousbreathewaintnodon'tbreatheyoumightbreateinhergerms
and-
>"You're too stressed, silly filly! You know what it sounds like you need? A party!"

"A... party?!"
>Your voice catches in your throat.
>"Yeah! You go talk with Twilight, and I'll get a 'welcome to Ponyville Anonymous' party set up!"
"im not so good at parties"
>The very thought of it drives all sense of syntax from your speech, but Pikamina is already off, bouncing happily out of the room, presumably to start planing your...
>...party.