Blind Date with a Koopa

>The hustle and bustle of New Donk City was as tiring as it always was
>But you had a new stride in your usual suit
>You had a date with someone from… well, really far away
>You weren’t sure what to expect, but you were hoping for the best
>Hell, if that Italian midget could jump up a skyscraper, you could have a nice night out
>However your clothing started to feel inadequate as you approached the swanky hotel
>Apparently she was just visiting, but to afford a place like that
>Gold trim and fountains everywhere
>Oh man, best not to think about it
>By the time you reach her number on the door, you’re sweating
>You felt like a shmuck being here, and you’ve never even seen her
>Or even heard her voice, you just messaged each other before
>Maybe you should just turn around?
>At first it feels like your heart’s beating even harder, but it’s actually the ground shaking underneath you
>What?
>In an instant the door in front of you is thrown open
>And a Koopa rivaling Bowser in size completely blocks the doorway with a wide grin
>”Hey handsome, are you my little blind date for tonight?”
>The words don’t quite register as your plan to run seems even more fitting
>Yet she scoops you up in her large arms, rather daintily clad in expensive purple fabric, her large scaly body hardly contained by the dress hugging her curves
>”Come on in! It’s great to finally see ya!”
>Her booming voice has just enough softness to put you at ease
>Yet the second she put you down the realization the woman you’d been talking to online wasn’t even human started to dawn on you
>Slowly closing the door behind you after being dragged in like that, she bounces in place, practically bouncing the furniture in sync
>”I already ordered a bunch of food for tonight, my treat!”
>She eagerly yanked one of your hands oddly delicately despite her claws, and pulled you towards the large table in her penthouse sized room
>Bending down, she pursed her bright pink lips before blowing a wisp of flame into the candles
>Even if she wasn’t what you were expecting, she was already that positive person you talked to after every long workday
>Maybe this would go well?
…
>As you got to really know the woman by candlelight, it was endearing how hard she’d pound the table and laugh at even the littlest joke
>Eventually her orders started pouring in, fancy hors d'oeuvres, big pots of stew, and even greasy pizza boxes
>Yet there was a sparkle in her eyes as she spoke between gulping platefuls of filling food with each bite
>”…and uh, you wouldn’t believe it, but I’m here to catch a PLUMBER! And I thought I was planning a wedding for the king here!”
>Her stories were always great, one of the reasons you got along so well before
>You had a nagging suspicion they were exaggerated, but seeing her now made them all the more real
>Laughing yourself, you were surprised when she got a little more somber
>”You know… sometimes I can’t help but think I’m always the bridesmaid at these sorts of things, never the BRIDE…”
>Her large hand clasps on yours
>Her eyes half lidded lock onto yours
>And she leans in
>The moment felt perfect, even if you had to lean most of your body to reach her across the large table
>Getting closer and closer you heard a strange noise
>Sort of a deep growl that fizzes like an over-shaken can of soda ready to burst
>And as your faces nearly touch
>It does burst
>Low and deep, a subwoofer of bubbling fury cracks out of her wide bottom like an earthquake of plush rump veiled by her dress
>Looking abruptly behind her, you even notice her stubby tail lifting her dress, making way for her turbulent fart to push gallons of gas into the immediate area
>She kept her eyes tightly closed, and a blush across her face as the steady droning fart picked up speed, raising in volume and occasionally being muffled by the effort to clap through her heavy cheeks
>She was cutting wind on a scale you’d never seen before, the heavy dinner coming out of her like a thick blanket of sulfur-laden fumes, with a heavy aroma of beef and pepperoni
>By the time her astounding bottom blast petered out past the ten second mark, her face was a mix of eye rolling relief and lip pursing shame
>But as she slowly focused her eyes on you, she looked down unsure what to say in the already oppressive atmosphere of just her first fart of the night
>That didn’t stop you from taking a deep breath and manning up
>With a lunge you connected lips with hers, and you could practically feel her stiff muscles relax
>Even hear it as a much softer steam leak of humid vapors left her with a hiss
>Through the kiss she still muttered into your mouth
>”Ooooh, I’m sorry… I forgot to pack anything for gas and I shouldn’t have tried all this food and…”
>You stop her by holding her tight and pulling back for a second
>”It’s fine, you couldn’t spoil this night.”
>Her stomach seemed to bubble with defiance in response to your statement
>Yet her shame quickly melted seeing your sincerity, replaced with a new look of determination
>That’s when she pulled you straight into her body with one swift motion, and lifted you towards the enormous bed
>”If you can handle a little ‘background music’ from my behind, I’ll show you a night no little woman in this town could HOPE to show you!”
>Already throwing off your tie and jacket you nodded eagerly with one thought in mind
>”We’re going to make the entire place shake tonight…”
>But your thoughts were interrupted as another ripper of hers pummeled the previously floral air into submission with a breathy moan
>”…in more ways than one.”