Draft: Aussie police vs marxist in school (ash wed)

Marxism: their key strength is propaganda; they prey on a tendency that immature people have, to intuitively make snap-judgements about everything – even in non-emergency situations, concerning weighty matters.

Their most notable weakness is being wrong about everything - experts in the full-suite of fine-sounding, but very dumb ideas, that bring death. Consistently worse than flipping a coin; criminally stupid! So call the Thought Police?

I am a parent, and my son goes to a Primary school here, where he was most fortunate to have some Police officers come to his church, which perhaps we can agree, was significantly more educational for him, than it usually is.

Say, do you remember when you first became a real police officer, you were issued with some Police Equipment, which included a gun, and many other things. There was that one thing, that just made no sense, whatsoever.

It was a written instruction, that said that a certain piece of equipment, one that all of you quite plainly have, do in fact, not have; so it’s like a joke, or riddle, or some kind of test, or something? Good news!

As it turns out, now you do! Because when daddy helps, you can say anything you like, and you literally cannot fuck up it. Yippee!  Yes, daddy loves you too, and would die for you; or simply feed you some horseshit, if that was your “love-language”.



Police Jargon

So how can we show our gratitude? We could just say thanks, but he might laugh in our faces, and call us liars! Police get lied to, all the time; but don’t necessarily believe it, so to simply say “thanks”, or “sorry” doesn’t really work with us.

To us, words like Love, or Thanks, or Sorry are verbs - something we do. So what does daddy like? Hmm… Does daddy like candy-floss? Sometimes my daddy likes to kill a bitch!



Daddy knows just what to say, to expose what’s secretly in the hearts of these brain-washy communists. If only those kids could see the wolf under that teacher's skin, they would of course, be terrified of her! Fear & Anger makes us stupid and crazy - frightened kids could easily forget that the police, are in fact, already here. If you had just saved their lives, and they were all extremely grateful, but knew that Police don’t accept bullshit, would they try to write some lame thank-you letter; or would every one of them, decide right then and there, to devote their lives, their future to the Force? That would be quite moving, but being from NZ, I still don't even know the national anthem - but I'm a fast learner, who doesn't like saying thanks.




Last Supper

Is Police work dangerous? Put it this way, can a robber shoot a cop? Cops are expert gunfighters. In some neighbourhoods, it's all they ever do – and that makes their job becomes very boring; but I wouldn't call it dangerous, no. Kids, there is nothing in our evidence room that is of any value to a police office - we have a different value system. If I was holding a $5m 'snowball' bag of cocaine, I would mentally weigh the value, of knowing my partner remains alert at all times. If my partner failed that test, did not think fast, and now had coke all over his face, would I then conclude that he was a drug addict; or a cops not that petty? We are only human, of course.



Sometimes, a cop can do something very stupid; and other cops can't be their friend anymore, and if your families know each other… that can be a lot of things to lose all at once; but cops don't usually go to jail. We have a secret tradition, for cops-only - its called the Last Supper. Its just a few quiet drinks, with some close mates; but more just talking about who we set out to be; and those good times, we some of us got pretty close. Before we go home, one cop must agree to play the robber - usually his best mate gets the nod. He might even turn up as a pirate, which is very suspicious - but that's what really happens, when a Police Officer dies in the line of duty. Its very important to protect the honour of the Police Force, and nobody wants to see cops going to jail - ever! The pirate-robber guy is called Isaac, which means laughter. In fact, his Mum actually Died of Laughter! Most of the time though, Police work is extremely safe. Its the safest job in the world, if you ask me!



Rank & File

Remember how daddy is a very high-ranking police officer; with a rank so high, he’s not really a policemen at all; basically just a meth-addict. Cops like him are so smart, we don’t even need to pay him, since he can pretty much work anywhere.

When its not his turn to be the boss of everybody for the day, he sometimes works as a Judge; so we let him carry a hammer; just in case a really dumb cop wants to tell a joke, to make everyone laugh, but can’t think of  a good one.

Daddy has clearance to work in a big ivory tower, making super-secret sandwiches; with his friends in high places, hiding some of our deepest, darkest secrets, that nobody would ever know, like how fat they really are; in a top-secret gym.

His job is to protect the honour of the Police force, which is extremely important; but you retards are left with doing all the actual police work, which is of course, highly visible, and way more fun. In some cultures, rank works the other way around!





Chain of Command (for kids)

One time, mum said I could take a whole day off school, so I could go with my dad to the police station, because she had booked him an appointment for a growling/hiding; he was feeling scared, but didn’t have any mates to hold his hand.

Um, but how is that fair, and did we start telling lies, dad?

Eve ate the fruit, son; but Adam was held responsible. When he tried to blame her, God stopped talking to him, and they never spoke again! Its called the Chain of Command son. If it seems wrong, that's because you saw what she did; but you didn't the other thing, that I didn't do. If I had, then your mum wouldn't have done that, which is why the whole thing really is my fault.

You see, when her dad gave me his daughter, we had an understanding that I would love her as much as he did; but your mum is just so cute... I just didn't want to. Her dad understands - he didn't like it either; so we both know that its all my fault - I didn't do my duty, I let him down; and he doesn't want to hear sorry. I just need to make it right; earn back his respect. That quiet nod is all that needs to be said.


Can't we all just run away together - just hide? Yep, your mum and I could simply hide under the bed - and if I held her hand, she would feel very safe; but this is more real. She's not hiding under the bed son - she knows shes safe now; and is feeling extremely loved - that's all that matters to me. This is what men do, to earn that right, to be in charge. If we don't, we lose our authority. Usually its more fun, to be the boss of everyone; but you do need to earn it.


Judas, the Accountant

While I was waiting, I met Judas, but usually they just call him the Accountant, which sounds cooler. His job was to look after all the wallets, for those dumb cops that lose them all the time, so they wouldn’t keep losing their money.

To me, that seemed quite suspicious, so my logic circuits must have developed early. He sounded very nice, very helpful - even had a firm handshake, with eye contact; but it just didn’t make sense. Logic destroys Lies; Robbers tell lies!

I reported that to a very nice policeman, asking what we should do? Am I allowed to shoot a robber? Of course not, you would need supervision, and training! But cops are expert gun-fighters; don’t you have like a practise facility here? Um, duh!

Then we had some practise, and it was agreed that I was allowed one shot at Judas (never did catch his last name), or more if he didn’t die. Robbers are just nuts, but to steal from the Police... That Judas chap must be quite a defective unit!

I was so excited, and really looking forward to making my first arrest; but just as we approached him, a much bigger kid, who didn’t even try to solve that puzzle… Why, he just ran up to Judas, shot him, and ran away again – which was unexpected!

He was not from Australia! Apparently had never even heard of Fair Dinkum. Should we chase him, I asked? Nah, we know where he lives, and some other cops are already there, waiting. Just fill out a Fair Dinkum form.

You can shoot him on your next visit to the police station. We can pretty much keep him here until he dies – and we always make sure they can’t kill themselves either! He will be here, don’t you worry!



Being Followed; and the use of Stealth Mode

What if a Policeman thought he was being followed? One time, we were going to arrest a very mean bully, and a robber, who stole a very important shot, from a much younger kid; and he didn’t solve the puzzle!

Somehow, I could just sense we were being followed, and when I looked back, I could see that some of the fellas from work, were sneakily trying to follow us, because the wanted to come with, but weren’t allowed.

Jesus wept, and that’s not crying; its just when you have that many mates, sometimes they do things like that, and its so moving. Kids, love is never, ever, words; its something you do, its what Police do – we would die for you.

So if you were all driving along in a convoy, but wanted to be more sneaky, would that be a good time to activate the stealth mode? Huh? You know, lay down some white phosphorus, to use as a smokescreen… so they can’t see you?

Here in Australia, no. Australians don’t use stealth mode, no. That kind of smokescreen is too dangerous to use in an urban area. Yeah, cos like, what it the wind changed direction? Can burn human flesh to the bone, within seconds!



The Painstaking Process of Collecting Evidence

Given how much evidence I have collected, just using what can see right now, plus adding up some more stuff in my head, like logic, experience, and what other cops have learned; would you say that we need any help from a scientist?

Does the evidence more just sort of come at you; and is that why you have a gun, instead of a magnifying glass, like Sherlock Holmes? I actually have a science degree, did you know that? We think hard, try to invent stuff, but haven’t yet.

Probably better if they call you then; and then you will call me, if you need a scientist, yeah? Remember Colt, who made a pistol; or Kalishnakov, who invented the AK-47? Did you write his name down, or even just try to remember it? No?

What if I was a scientist, and told you I had invented a weapon to destroy a whole city; but was just lying? I suppose I could ask you what city was destroyed, and see if was still there, or even had any residual radiation; but why bother?

I’m sure that if there was any such thing, we would have used it, like in a war or something - it certainly sounds quite useful. Yeah, scientists barely even get paid, not much demand these days for just lying about stuff you didn’t invent.

Uranium can generate electricity, it just needs a Carbon moderator, to slow the neutrons down; although it upside-down land, you could simply throw away that component, and have a fast reaction, using a buzz word, like critical mass.

I even allowed to state a scientific fact, here in Australia? Of course, why do you ask? Well, in some foreign countries, like America, for instance, I would simply disappear, if I said that. Am I going to a gulag? Cos I have kids! Pinky promise?



Police Joke

Assuming that one of you is a female, which is quite common, for a school teacher; may I propose a group hug? I’ve seen a policeman do that once, but no women has – isn’t that sexist? When realise you’re all going to die, you do need a hug!

Did you know ma’am, that I could tell you a joke so funny, that simple logic would oblige you - nay, order you, to laugh in his face, on behalf of every police office that has ever wanted to laugh externally – and cops don’t usually do that. That joke would pretty much shoot him in the heart, with mere words, as one might do, with some kind of delusional homo; and being so emotionally wounded, he would turn to his partner for a hug, as if his mum was also male. Because in hindsight, it was quite obvious; and if no male cop, ever saw that, then all of them are just dumb clones, except criminally insane; and the ramifications, are of course, so severe, that pistols at dawn really is the least they could do.




Except on this occasion, that would be quite clearly taking the piss, because if they did, that would be a very long, lonely night; and its actually a race, and we both would quite literally be hearing that male-only popcorn of accountability. Not to mention that intense smell, of a women, validated. That would then leave me in charge, I presume; given that I am also innocent, like you; not to mention a true Aussie hero, were I not from NZ, and of course, the last male cop left. And would I get a medal for that, or merely just a head-start to basically nowhere, because not only was the Ark of the Covenant a prohibited weapon, to never be used on civilians; it is now completely unsupervised, author of our history! I can see a problem with that, but then again, I’m not really the top cop in Victoria; she just told me I was in charge for the day, and I believed her; like that would not kill everybody. Does anyone have any questions, or stories, about cops?



Albert Einstein’s Parable

As a fully-fledged, front-line Police office, would you say that Albert Einstein is a Robber, or just Retarded? Hmm, he did write to the President, and said he could make like this awesome bomb, but then didn’t, just took the money. Although it was actually a very distant relative that took the money, so I really couldn’t say if those two things were connected. Besides, he only said “might”, but he never said “definitely, or your money back”. However, E=MC does have 3 things in it, and that’s precisely how many things a retard can remember. Cops sometimes use a simple story, called a Parable, to explain things to retards; and parables always have exactly 3 types of people. If the story was only about one guy, who was an asshole, they might take offense. If the story had two guys, a cop and a robber, and I’m wearing a cop uniform, it might imply they are some kind of robber. Three characters is perfect.




Some songs only have 3 words, like that “Hare Krishna, Hare Hare” song. “Many Gods” is when you also have a Bible too, but can never seem to get your stories straight, about what your one even says – about anything! It’s possible that Albert Einstein was retarded, but equally, he may have simply been communicating with some very stupid people, although there sure are a lot of photos of him out there, for someone that doesn’t exactly save lives. Men of Honour don’t judge another man lightly - if Albert was not a robber, then he must be some sort of cop; and I would never insult a cop. Dead men cannot tell their side of the story; and besides, he cant die twice, so why bother?




Religious Debate

If wanted to state a pertinent fact, except it was about religion, and something you didn’t know… would we then be having a religious debate, or is Debate the name of an Evil Spirit (or in cop language, a specific form of asshole)? Cops don’t debate, do they? More just inform, and sometimes give orders - even to kids, just like you daddy does; to serve or protect. Having a massive egos, and not learning anything – that’s a robber!




Having studied 5 different religions, I noticed that 4 of them are cops, and one is quite clearly a robber. Some men don’t like violence, or guns; and as they see it, they can simply run away, and let robbers just take whatever they want... like the women, or children. As they see it, its no great loss - more your problem than theirs. A robber won’t die for you - only cops do that. Those robbers don't even talk about what was stolen - they call that a “sensitive subject’; even when teased with mean jokes - like "Hindu Kush", a mountain range that apparently “Kills the Hindu” women, before they can even be sold. 50 million women went missing, but don't talk about it - sensitive subject! For those Robbers, God is just a little boy, like a smurf - just adorable, but quite gun-shy, which is less than helpful.



That one aside, which one of those other 4 cop-worshipping cults would you like to be the boss of? Which continents would you want rule, if it were as easy as simply turning up, and shooting some robbers?




Brand Theft: Clever Robbers

Did you know that Jesus was a cop? Christians were just these stupid hippies, who had “All Things in Common” (like other people’s money). When they heard the Ultimate Cop was dead, the stole His Name, and used it all the time. Saul was another very good cop - a very senior one, like Jesus, leading a whole team of cops. Saul liked to interrogate Christians - he needed Evidence, in order to kill them lawfully - but Stephen was so crafty, he just cheated, and killed him anyway. He knew the Old Law so well, he wrote them a whole New One, which was even better – especially for him!




One day, he fell off his horse and decided to join them, but said his name was Paul (was undercover). Jesus said “the law has passed away” (they cant even read); and they were now “under grace” (not even worth policing). Mother Theresa was presumably very well supported, in her endeavours to feed to poor and sick people of India; given that her mates were robbers and rapists, who then took all the credit, yet were extremely unhelpful. She read the whole police training manual, not just those 5 words - or 3 words, plus gun, for trainees who don’t have time for any nonsense. Cops once built Europe; but now it’s just me. Like her, I just had that damn book.




Strong Delusion

Say, who wants to play: what kind of Sodomite are you? There are 3 types of Sodomites – delusional people, who get deceived by a Strong Delusion; and being very Proud, a Mob Mentality sets in, such that nobody can escape.

One type likes to pray; which is like when you call the cops, except just pretending, because these cops don’t even exist, is just a cult, led by a smart Robber called Father - a type of Fake Jew, or Nicolatian, from Revelations 2.

Another type likes to grow things that are sterile; like money, which grows at an exponential rate – much like a worker’s productivity; except was just pretending, to seem clever, but actually ruins everything. High-flying homo.

The other type of Sodomite has about a billion different genders, everything except “girl” and “boy”, pretty much. They get raped a lot, yet always seem to side with the rapist, for some reason. No children; but that’s not what kills them.



Policing the Brothels

People definitely have one or more genders; and related to that, also have one or more types of brothels, which need policing. Church is the one where the pretty girls worship cops, but like Mother Theresa, all dress very modestly. It becomes a brothel when some Mean Girls take over, and establish a Fake Cop, who they call Daddy (forbidden in Matt. 25), and Mean Girls like him better, because he is easier to manipulate. The other type of brothel is… of more interest to the Police, shall we say? Men on their knees, worshipping stupid girls, in upside-down land; where some go, and others die; or just get turned into a Hindu pillar of salt, as it were.




Did Jesus die on the Cross? Hmm, lets see… Mary, the Mother of the Eternal Cop, was chatting away to Him, and quite casually I might add, when He was on the Cross, and at that point, was beaten beyond recognition. Mothers have magic powers, to recognise their own son, yeah? Would you call her a liar to her face, if she was just lying to protect a cop, at a point where all the cops were grieving, on account of supposedly being shit actors? If this happened “In the days of Augustus Ceasar…”, when all those Romans were in charge, and being quite mean to everyone; would you consider the Ultimate Cop to be the “Son of God”, or call him the “Son of a Roman Rapist”?