MLP:RtM 3 The Ticket Master

>”Hoo whee,” Applejack whistles
>”That’s some crazy story ya got there, Anon.”
>You, the mane six, and Spike are all sitting around Golden Oaks Library
>You’re on some comfy cushions on the floor by the window
>”So let me get this straight,” Twilight says
>”Your world has film reels... that show what’s going to happen to us in the future?”
“More or less. But—“
>”Is this going to replace my Pinkie sense?!” Pinkie Pie gasps
“I don’t think so. There was never an Anon in that show—and just by me being here, already so many things have changed. I might have a general idea, but I don’t know exactly what’s going to happen.”
>”Still, can you tell me if I ever make it big in CANTERLOT?” Rarity asks breathlessly
>”What about me?! Do I ever get to join the Wonderbolts?!” Dash screeches, flying up to you
>You laugh and playfully shove Dash away
”I will tell you that all of you stay friends forever.”
>Daww.jpg
>Everyone looks happy to hear that
>Except Dash
>”Blech! Come ON! Is THAT all you’re gonna tell us, Anon?”
“Sorry, these lips are zipped.”
>”Come on Anon! Don’t you trust us?” Dash begs
>”You ARE the Element of Trust, after all.”
>You look around at all of your friends, staring at you
“Of course I trust you. I trusted you enough to help you get the Elements of Harmony. Now I’m asking you to trust me.”
>The ponies seem satisfied with this
>But Twilight’s smile eventually fades

>”I’m sorry, Anon, I’m having a hard time believing any of this.”
>Me too, Twilight
>Me too
>”Um, what if there was a way to prove it?” Fluttershy suggests
>Rock on Fluttershy
>”But the only way to do that would be to tell us something about the future...” Rarity muses
“And just by me telling you, the outcome will change...”
>Everyone sits quietly for a moment, thinking
>”Ooh! Ooh!”
>Pinkie’s hoof shoots into the air
>”What if he wrote it down and put it in an envelope, and we didn’t read it until after the thing happens?”
>Whoa, that never even occurred to you
>Those brilliant flashes of Pinkspiration are even cooler in real life
”That’s a great idea, Pinkie Pie!” Spike exclaims
>He shoots off and returns with some paper, an envelope, a quill, and ink
>You dip the quill and put it to the paper
>Wait
“Your world doesn’t use the same written language as mine... If I wrote it down, then none of you could read it.”
>”You could read it to us!” Fluttershy says
“But I could lie. I’m not exactly Element of Honesty material, remember?”
>”I could dictate!” Spike volunteers
>”But then Anon would have to tell ya the future!” Applejack says
>”Come on! I can keep a secret!” Spike says
>Everyone laughs at him and pats him on the head
>Soon the laughter dies and you’re all just sitting in silence again

”Well, whatever. I’m going to write it down, in human language, and read it to you myself. And you can decide whether you trust me or not. Since I’m the Element of Trust and all that.”
>You pick up the quill again
>Uh
>Hmm...
“Umm... what should I write about?”
>”Whether I get into the Wonderbolts!”
>”Whether my spring line is going to be successful!”
>”What I’m having for dinner tonight!”
“Guys, guys, shut up!”
>Twilight ponders for a moment
>”How about what happens next?”
>All eyes go to her
>That’s right
>What happens next
>It’s been a few days since the end of Episode 2 but you’ve been so caught up in settling in with your new friends in Ponyville that you hadn’t even thought about it
>A smile comes to your face as you press the quill to the paper
>Episode 3: The Ticket Master
>Rainbow Dash tries to sneak a peek at the paper but the others pull her away to give you some privacy
>You start scribbling furiously
>Man, using a quill is hard
>Wish you had a ballpoint
>The others watch you intently

>There
>No sooner than writing the last word, Spike unleashes a gnarly belch
>”A letter from Princess Celestia!” Twilight exclaims
>Spike unfurls the letter and reads
>”Hear ye, hear ye. Her Grand Royal Highness, Princess Celestia of Equestria, is pleased to announce The Grand Galloping Gala to be held in the magnificent capital city of Canterlot, on the 21st day of, eh, yadda yadda yadda, cordially extends an invitation to Twilight Sparkle...”
>Plus one guest, you think in your mind
>”...And her friends, the Elements of Harmony, and Spike.”
>what
>WHAT

>Spike belches up seven golden tickets
>The room goes crazy
>Every one of the girls starts screeching and babbling on about the Gala
>They all are so excited to be going together in a big group
>Rarity wants to meet a noble prince
>Rainbow Dash wants to see the Wonderbolts
>Fluttershy wants to see the castle gardens
>Pinkie Pie wants to party
>Applejack wants to drum up business for Sweet Apple Acres
>Meanwhile you just sit there staring in horror at the paper in your hand
>The faithful transcript of Episode 3: The Ticket Master
>An episode you always loved, that you remember vividly in your mind
>Twilight only gets two tickets and must decide which of her friends she should bring with her
>Now your script is just a useless list of predictions that can never happen
>You sit there trembling, clutching the paper you just wrote in your hand
>What in the actual fuck Celestia, you damn troll
>Did me being there really change things this much?
>Rarity looks over and notices you looking distraught
>”Whatever is the matter, dear?”
“Um. Nothing. You guys are just noisy, haha. I uh... I gotta go.”
>You wedge the transcript into a fold, stand up, and hurry out the door

>You walk down the street, lost in thought
>Trying to rationalize this change in the continuity
>OK, so, maybe the extra heartwarming faggotry at the end of the last episode
>Really inspired Celestia to be a bro and send Twilight seven tickets instead of two?
>You shake your head
>It seems ridiculous but it’s the only explanation to go off of
>Hoofsteps behind you
>”Anon! Wait!”
>You turn around
>It’s Twilight
>Her eyes show
>...Pity?
>”Anon, I’m sorry! Look, Spike said he doesn’t even want to go to the Gala! You can have his ticket!”
“Huh?”
>”You want to go to the Gala, right? And you’re sad that Celestia didn’t send you a ticket--”
>You burst into laughter and pat the adorable purple pone on the head
“No, no, you’ve got it all wrong, haha.”
>She doesn’t seem convinced
>You crouch down to eye level with her
“You go with your friends to the Gala and have a nice time. I don’t need to do that kind of stuff.”
>She frowns, but then closes her eyes and nods
>”All right, Anon. If you say so.”
>Anon!”
>Spike is yelling as he comes running down the street toward you
>He’s holding another letter

>”My Dear Anon,” Spike reads
>”We have an important annual event in Canterlot called the Grand Galloping Gala where many nobles and other dignitaries from around Equestria gather for a formal social gathering. As an emissary of another world, I’d like for you to be my guest of honor there. I have no doubt that some of my guests will be very intrigued by the presence of a human. They will no doubt want to hear more about the history, technology, and society of your world, as do I. Afterward, I would like to privately speak with you more about your mysterious power and what implications it could have for Equestria. You can place your highest level of trust in me that I will be sworn to secrecy.
>”I have arranged for private boxed seating in an exclusive section of the Canterlot Gardens, where you, plus one guest, will join myself, my distant nephew Prince Blueblood, and several dignitaries for the Wonderbolts demonstration. These will be the best seats in the house for their spectacular acrobatic flying show.
>”I have included your formal invitation and two tickets within. If you choose an already attending guest to join you in the V.I.P. box, feel free to give the extra ticket to anypony else. I look forward to hearing from you. Yours truly,
>”Princess Celestia.”
>Your jaw is hanging off your face
>So are the jaws of the mane six
>The others came running up after Spike and heard the whole thing
>They’re all staring at you
>ffffffffffFFFFuck

>”Anon? Yeh ahlright? Ya look a might pale.”
“No, I’m fine. Listen, do they sell weapons around here?”
>”Heavens no, darling! What need would we have for those?”
“Oh, you know, plotting high treason. Do they execute you for assassinating a Princess?”
>You turn and start marching off determinedly
>Rainbow flies after you, snatches you by the collar, and drags you back, kicking and fighting, to the group
>”What’s the matter Anon? Tell us!”
”Well, I’m going to have to decide which of you I want to be my V.I.P. guest, aren’t I?”
>Their eyes widen
>”Let me make that decision easy for you, Anon!” Rainbow Dash suggests
>”Bring me to the V.I.P. box so I can watch the Wonderbolts from the best seat in the house... and... I’ll let you bring me to the V.I.P. box so I can be your guest!”
>Wow, brilliant, Dash
>”Um,” Fluttershy speaks up
>”It’s in a private part of the castle gardens, right?”
>She gives you a shy look with one eye covered by her hair
>HHHNNNNGGGHHHHH
>”I wonder if there are any special animals or flowers there that aren’t in the rest of the garden.”
>Rarity huffs
>”Anon! I can’t believe you’d consider taking Fluttershy to the V.I.P. box instead of me! I’m DESTINED to go!”
>Trust me, Rarity, I know destiny, and this ain’t it
>”If you take me, we’ll have private seating with... HIM!!”
>”Him!” Pinkie repeats
>”Who?”
>”HIM!”
>Rarity starts going off about how wonderful the Princess’s nephew is
>You start to slowly back away
>”Rarity!” Pinkie Pie exclaims
>”How dare you! You’re gonna be Anon’s date to the Gala just so you can meet ANOTHER guy?”
>Pinkie Pie’s in her face
>Rarity turns pink
>”Whoever said anything about a... ‘date’? I’d just be his ‘guest’...”
>”Still, she has a point, Rar,” Applejack says
>”Why, do YOU want to be Anon’s date?” Rarity asks Pinkie Pie
>Pinkie’s hair seems to explode in an even bigger tanglefuck than ever
>”Umm well... yes! I mean... I... well...”
>You’ve never seen Pinkie Pie this flustered
>”Why else would you want to go? A quiet conversation with nobles? That’s not you, Pinkie Pie. You just want to go because you like—“
>”AAHHHHHH!”
>Pinkie Pie screams and gallops off
>”Rarity!” Twilight scolds her
>Rarity apologizes to Twi, then to you, and leaves to go chase after Pinkie Pie
>Damn, you forgot that S1 Rarity is kind of mean
>Pinkie kind of started it though
>Twilight looks at you
>”Why not just make me your V.I.P.? I think I can handle the Canterlot nobles well. And I’m already Princess Celestia’s student. And...”
>She lowers her head and grumbles
>”I’m the one who frickin’ summoned you so I should get to go.”
>You sigh
>That’d be nice, but it’s not necessarily a solution
>You look at Applejack
“Well?”
>”Well what?”
“Aren’t you going to argue your case as to why you should be my V.I.P. guest?”
>She ponders for a moment
>”Hmm... nah. Should be fine sellin’ apples to them normal gala folk.”
>She trots off
>APPLEJACK I LOVE YOU

>Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash, and Twilight Sparkle are still looking at you, waiting for your decision
>You’re just standing there, speechless
>How did this happen
>Fluttershy, Rarity, Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash, and Twilight Sparkle all want your dick
>You try to think back to The Ticket Master
>Next, they’re all going to start doing you all kinds of crazy favors to try to win you over
>And it’s going to make it even more impossible to decide
>How does the episode end?
>Oh, right
>Twilight sends her two tickets back and says she can’t go
>Fuck you can’t do that
>You’re the guest of honor!
>But wait then Celestia sends Twilight back enough tickets for all her friends
>You feel relieved
>Wait
>Fuck this is an EXCLUSIVE private boxed seating
>You can’t just fucking put five more chairs in that shit
>It’s probably all fancy and planned out and shit
>After standing there for a few moments, you haven’t come up with anything
>The dichotomy between the TV show and what is actually happening right now is fucking with your brain still
>Hindering your ‘problem-solving abilities’
>You just need to cool off for a bit
“Guys... I just need some time to myself to think this over. So, I’m going to head back to the library, go lie down for a bit, and think it over. OK?”
>”OK.”
>Twilight’s belly rumbles
>”Hey, Spike, let’s go get something to eat. See you later, Anon.”
>You bid her farewell
>The group disperses and you walk back to the library
>You let yourself in, set the tickets down on the desk, and plop down on the cushions again
>You’re trying to think about what you should do
>But your mind keeps coming back to Pinkie Pie
>I wonder if she actually does have a crush on me
>That is wrong on so many levels
>But also right
>You drift off to sleep

>You wake up to a strange feeling
>Pressure on the soles of your feet and toes
>Is that
>A foot massage?
>You look down
>Shoes and socks are off
>Fluttershy is giving you a foot massage
>Praise Jesus Christ
>Praise Buddha
>Praise every god and goddess from every pantheon ever
>It feels heavenly
>She’s hitting all the right spots where the tension’s been building up
>You hadn’t really thought about it, but living in a world without cars
>In a suburban village where everything is spread out
>Means lots and lots of walking
>And until now you never realized how much your feet have been killing you
>But she is tenderly yet firmly releasing all of that strain
>Eat your FUCKING heart out, footfags
>You never thought that a pony could possess such a high level of manual dexterity
>Without even having hands
>You knew it, hooves are magical
>Further study is required
>She notices you’re awake and just smiles
>”Oh, Anon. Please relax...”
>Oh fuck yes
>You throw your head back in the pillows
>Uh oh
>Little Anon Jr. is stepping up to bat
>You grab the nearest cushion and shove it into your crotch
>She looks up at you, smiles, and just keeps going to town on your feet
>Did she notice?

>Fluttershy sits back on her haunches to rest her hooves
>Fucking wow
“That was amazing, Fluttershy!”
>She blushes
>”T-Thanks, Anon...”
>Suddenly the door opens
>You bolt upright
>Twilight walks in, followed by Spike
>You just turn and stare at her
>Busted
>She looks at you
>You look at her
>She looks at you
>”Don’t look so surprised, Anon. We live here too you know!”
>Oh, right
>You curl your legs into cross-legged position and rub your feet
>Fluttershy stands up
>”You’re welcome to ask for more massages... next time your feet hurt.”
”S-sure. Thank you.”
>She leaves
>You have a warm fuzzy feeling in your chest
>Not to mention your feet feel like jello
>You look over at Twilight, still smiling
>She does not look amused

>”Foot massages may be nice in the short run but I think I can help you in a much more meaningful way, Anon.”
>She hands you a gift-wrapped box
>”We stopped at the market after lunch and got you these.”
 “Whoa, what’s the occasion?”
>”You’ll see in a moment. Go on, open it now.”
>You rip the paper off and open the box
>Three big brightly colored... children’s books?
>”They’re foal’s books. I thought they might help you learn the Equestrian written language. At least in the beginning.”
>You open one of the books and flip through the pages
>Thick, glossy cardboard pages and beautiful illustrations
>No idea what the story is about but the pictures are pretty
>You’ve always found this kid stuff to be charming
>You watch My Little Pony, after all
“Wow, Twilight! These are great!”
>”I’m so happy to hear that you like them! We can start lessons tomorrow!”
“What?”
>”You’re not going to learn on your own, are you? Let me help you. Academics is kind of my forte...”
>She stops when you hug her
“Thanks, Twi. This means so much to me.”
>She pats you on the back with her hoof
>”I thought you’d say that! So anyway, about that V.I.P. pass...”
>Suddenly you snap out of your post afternoon-nap haze
>Suddenly you remember everything that happened earlier with the V.I.P. pass
>And you realize that Fluttershy just gave you the best foot massage of your life because she’s trying to score the V.I.P. seat
>Damn
>Whatever
>Doesn’tmatterhadsex.jpg
>Foot sex, actually
>But who’s counting

>No no don’t put us back in there
>Not after we’ve seen the light of freedom
>Sorry, feet
>You reluctantly put your shoes back on
>You step out of the library to get some fresh air
>You're always a little dehydrated after a nap
>Head to the well and draw up some water
>Take a long drink
>Wipe your face
>Look around
>Oh, hey, it’s Rarity
>Running toward you
>”ANONCOMEWITHME”
>Where’s the fire ma’am

>At Carousel Boutique
>I have a fantastic new ensemble I want you to try on, Anon!”
>Rarity starts undressing you
“Whoa whoa whoa, Rarity! Hold on!”
>You push her off of you
“I’m not a pony! I’m not letting you see me without clothes!”
>”Oh! Forgive me, darling. Well, the ensemble is hanging up over there. Carry on.”
>She leaves you behind the screen
>You sigh and look at the clothes
>They look kind of gay
>You put them on, though
>And you look in the mirror
>Wow, Rarity actually did a pretty good job with human clothes
>She probably modified some pony clothes, but she got the dimensions down and everything
>It fits you pretty well
>A button-up white and black pinstripe shirt
>An obsidian-colored tie
>Bluish-gray vest and slacks
>You admire the outfit in the mirror
>Damn Anon you look like something out of GQ
>Kind of like a Prohibition-era Chicago mobster or a detective from a film noir
>That retro style actually really works for you
>And the outfit is really slimming
>Not that you’re fat.
>You’re not a twig, either
>But it really looks quite good
>”Anon?” Rarity calls over the wall
>”How do you like it?”
“It’s really nice, Rarity.”
>You push the screen aside, and strike a pose for her
>”Anon! You look positively smashing! You’ll be a big hit at the Grand Galloping Gala!”
>The Grand Galloping what now
“Rarity, are you just doing this to get into the V.I.P. box with me?”
>She ignores you
>”Your outfit just needs a finishing touch... A HAT!”
>She runs off and comes back with a matching black hat
>It’s a fedora
>A fedora
>FEDORA

>You start taking the vest off
“Listen, Rar, so long as I know you’re trying to come with me to the V.I.P. box at the Gala, I really don’t feel comfortable accepting favors like this from you!”
>She looks disappointed and hurt
>”Even if you don’t pick me to go with you to the Gala, I still want you to wear it, Anon.”
>Aww
>You kind of feel bad
“All right, I’ll think about it. But I’m going to leave it here with you.”
>”Well, take the hat!”
>She levitates it onto your head
>You look at yourself in the mirror
>Huh, not bad
>It actually goes pretty well with this outfit
>”It complements anything! Whatever you normally wear!”
>Ugh
>Literally the only other clothes you have in Equestria are a T-shirt and jeans
>And you’ve seen enough “bronies” to know that fedoras look awful with casual wear
>She gives you some privacy while you change back into your T-shirt and jeans
>You walk out from behind the screen with the fedora tucked under your arm but as you head for the front door she levitates it onto your head again
>You catch a sideways glimpse of yourself in a vanity mirror
>Yep, awful
>You try not to vomit
>You look at Rarity
“Listen, Rar. I think you have a legitimate reason to go to the Gala, just like everyone else. Don’t let Pinkie or anyone else tell you otherwise. It’s just that everyone has good reasons, so it’s a hard decision.”
>Rarity frowns, but you can tell she understands what you’re going through
>You say goodbye and head out the door
>Maybe the other ponies won’t notice how strange the fedora looks with your street clothes
>You’ve seen plenty of ponies wearing weird hats all the time anyway
>Even so
>You decide to take it off the moment she closes the door behind you

>Before you get the hat off you are assaulted by Pinkie
>”Woo nice hat Anon!!”
>She grabs you and pulls you into a circle of ponies lying in wait outside the boutique
>They all throw you into the air
>Music starts playing and Pinkie bursts into song
>”Anon is my bestest friend
>”Whoopie, whoopie!”
“Pinkie...”
>”He’s really cool and smart and eats
>”Spaghetti, spaghetti!”
”Pinkie.”
>I bet if I throw a super-duper fun party, party--”
”Pinkie!”
>”He’ll take me with him to be his V. I. Peeeeeee!!!”
”PIIINKIIIEEE!!!!”
>”Yes, Anon?”
>She bats her eyelashes at you
“You’re not one for subtlety are you?”
>She ponders that for a moment, then turns and yells at the other ponies
>”CODE RED! Do the other song!”
>All the ponies grab you and throw you into the air again
>Fuck

>In midair, a rainbow dashes by and sweeps you up
>Whoa
>You’re flying really really fast through the air
>You look down at your feet dangling over the streets of Ponyville as you slowly gain altitude
>You feel Rainbow Dash’s arms holding you under your arms
>Is she strong enough to carry you while flying?
“DASH! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?”
>”Pfft, calm down and stop squirming. I got you!”
>She must be really strong to be able to carry you up this high
>These fucking ponies, man
>She slowly arcs back and soon the two of you are flying straight up into the clouds
>For the love of God and all that is holy don’t look down Anon
>”Look down, Anon!” Rainbow says
>Your eyes are shut tight by now
>But you slowly peek out of one, then the other
>It’s the most breathtaking view you’ve ever seen
>The sun is setting in the distance over the mountains
>Quaint Ponyville is down below, with smoke rising from the chimneys and little ant-sized ponies walking around
>A magnificent view of Canterlot in the distance, glowing in the evening light
>Hell, even the Everfree Forest looks stunning
“W-Wow... Dash...”
>”Heh, you like it, huh?”
“It’s a little scary, actually.”
>You smile and close your eyes again
>You feel Rainbow’s chest heaving, pressed against your back
“Maybe it’s time to go back down before you get too tired.”
>She pants
>”Yeah, good idea!”

>”Sorry, didn’t mean to scare you, Anon!”
“It’s fine, I’m just happy to be back on the ground safely.”
>”Was it awesome?”
>Yeah it was pretty awesome
>But you don’t want to encourage her
“Yeah, awesome. All right, now get lost.”
>”Huh?! Aren’t you going to say that you want to thank me by bringing me to the V.I.P. box at the Grand Galloping Gala?!”
“No, I’m not going to say that. Because I haven’t made my decision yet! And all these nice things that you all are doing for me... they aren’t helping me decide any faster!”
>Rainbow looks really sad
>Gah you’re kind of pissed now
>Maybe the adrenaline from the death-defying flight is kicking in late
>And it’s making you rage
>Whatever the reason, now you feel like you can’t even look Dash in the eye
>”Anon... I’ve never taken another pony... or person... up that high before.”
“Well don’t I feel special.”
>Your biting sarcasm makes Rainbow wince
>”All right, Anon, sorry I bugged you. Later.”
>She starts to fly away
>Your heart breaks
>No
>No...

“Wait! Dash!”
>You yell as you run after her
“I’m sorry! Listen! Come back!”
>You jump and try to take a few swipes at her leg but she evades you
“Rainbow Dash! Get your butt back down here!”
>She’s flying really slowly so obviously she’s not trying to get away from you
>Maybe she wants to hear what you have to say
>But you can’t do what you want to do so long as she’s still in the air
>You chase her for like five minutes before she finally gives in, rolls her eyes, and lands expertly on the ground
>She just looks at you and scoffs while you stand there, hands on your knees, panting like a fat kid
>You don’t even wait for your breath to come back to take her in your arms
>And give her a tight hug
>Her face is buried in your chest
“Dash, I’m sorry. Forget what I said. It really was special. And awesome. I’ll never forget it.”
>You let go, still holding her shoulders tightly, and look her in the eye
>She gazes into your eyes
”But... I don’t deserve that kind of stuff. I’m not special. Maybe in your world I’m the only human and that seems special. But in my world I’m just a regular guy. A guy who makes mistakes and isn’t that smart. I definitely don’t feel like a V.I.P.”

>Rainbow breaks away from you and smiles
>”Anon, you ARE special!”
>She flies up and bumps you on the head
>”You’re special because you’re my FRIEND!”
>Damn it Dash
>Even after I hurt your feelings you still turn right around and be a fucking sweetheart
>You chuckle to yourself
”Well, stop treating me EXTRA special just because I scored awesome seats at the Gala for the Wonderbolts show.”
>She laughs and shoves you
>”Well you already got the special treatment out of all of my friends! So there’s nothing you can do about it now.”
“Oh yeah?”
>You laugh and shove her back
“I think we should take all our friends on a pegasus carriage ride at sunset! Then they can all see it. And they don’t have to get armpit wedgies from you!”
>”Shut up.”
“I’m serious. I think a breathtaking view like that... why make it exclusive? They should all get to see it! Everyone should get to experience that!”
>”Heh. If it means that much to you, Anon.”
“It does.”
>Wait
>Everyone should get to experience that
>Everyone
>Everyone...?

>OF COURSE
>It was right under your nose the whole time
>You reach into your pocket and pull out the envelope
>The one containing your transcript of Episode 3: The Ticket Master
>That episode had a clear solution, but it’s one that won’t work in your situation
>And so you’ve been wading through indecision, admiring how similar this situation is to that one
>But you never looked at the differences
>There are actually a lot
>And YOUR solution lies in the differences, not in the similarities
>Which is more special?
>Going to the Gala that you never thought you’d get to go to?
>Or getting nicer seats at the Gala that you’re already going to?
>It’s all about perspective, man
>You can’t make all of your friends V.I.P.s at the Gala
>But that’s OK
>Because you don’t need to
”Rainbow Dash!”
>”Yeah?”
“Gather everyone up and meet me back in the library in half an hour! I’ve made my decision.”

>Back in the library
>Everyone is there
>All eyes are on you
“Rarity.”
>”Yes, Anon?”
”You’ll still have a chance to meet Prince Blueblood before and after the Wonderbolts demonstration, won’t you?”
>”I suppose...”
“Fluttershy.”
>”P-present!”
“You’ve never been to the Canterlot Gardens during bloom, have you? Why worry about one little section of the gardens, when you’ve yet to experience the main thing?”
>”Um, I guess that makes sense.”
“Rainbow Dash!”
>”What?!”
“The Wonderbolts are going to be tiny little specks in the sky! If you sit in the main seating area, vs. in the private seating area, is it really going to be that much different?”
>”Probably!”
>Applejack hits her
>”OK, probably not.”
“Twilight Sparkle!”
>”Anon.”
“You said you ought to be in that V.I.P. box because you’re Celestia’s student, and because you’re the one who brought me to Equestria. But you communicate with Princess Celestia all the time via letter!”
>”True.”
“Plus, what’s the thing that makes your relationship with me special? Is it that you were the one who summoned me?!”
>She thinks for a moment
>”No. It’s that we’re friends.”
”Is that going to change whether we’re in the V.I.P. box together or not?”
>”No... not really...”
>Finally, your eyes settle on Ponka
”Pinkie Pie.”
>She looks at you
”Why do you want to be my guest in the V.I.P. box?”
>She seems embarrassed
>But finally she perks up and says bravely
>”Because I want to be there with you, Anon!”
“...I see.”
>You turn and face the others
“The answer is clear to all of you now, isn’t it?”
>”Yeah.”
>”Uh-huh.”
>”I see your point.”
>”Makes sense to me.”
>You look at Pinkie Pie one more time
“You’re the only one who hopes to experience something truly special that you wouldn’t get to have at all otherwise... a date with me. So, I choose you, Pinkie Pie.”
>She faints

>Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash carry Pinkie Pie off and drop her in Twilight's bed, then fly back
>"Well, I guess that settles that, then..." Rarity mutters disappointedly
>All the remaining ponies start to leave
>"That's it, then?" Twilight complains
"Twi, first friendship lesson. Sometimes your friends have to face tough choices. And they may not always make the decision you want them to. But it doesn't mean they don't respect you, or care any less about you. I certainly don't."
>You kneel down next to her and pat her on the head, and give her a big smile
>Applejack decides to back you up
>”C’mon Twi, can y’all stay mad at a face like Anon’s just ‘cause Pinkie Pie beat ya?”
>You’re just sitting there grinning at Twilight like a goofball
>Twilight giggles
>”No, of course not.”
>Applejack turns to look at Fluttershy, Rarity, and Rainbow Dash
>”How bout you gals?”
>”No.”
>All of the ponies forgive you, one by one
>And comment on how happy Pinkie Pie is gonna be when she wakes up
>They all start heading for the door
“Whoa, where you going? I’m not done yet.”
>”Huh? What more is there to say, Anon?” Fluttershy asks
“Well, I could tell you about the letter to Princess Celestia I wrote with Spike before you got here.”

>Dear Princess Celestia,
>It is a great honor to be selected as your guest at the Grand Galloping Gala. However, I am concerned that you want to keep my company, and my guest’s, all to yourself! If you’d like me to talk more about the human world, I’d like for EVERYONE at the gala to be able to hear it, not just the dignitaries in the V.I.P. box. Hearing about the human world may be special to you, but to me, it’s just normal conversation. There’s no need to grant me special treatment, like private access to certain gardens or better seats for the Wonderbolts demonstration. I’m just a humble human who would find much more joy in sharing his blessings with everyone. In fact, I’d even go so far as to suggest that you invite everyone in Equestria if I knew you could! But, since you probably can’t do that, at least do this for me: open up the private seating area to everyone at the Gala. That way, all of my friends can be there with me, even though they can’t all be V.I.P.s. Which is fine, since to me, they’re all still Very Important Ponies.
>Your Majesty’s humble servant,
>Anon

Epilogue.
>Spike comes running up
>"Hey, Twilight! I found the book you were looking for."
>"Ah! Transformative Transliteration. Well done, Spike."
>Twilight looks at you
>"Okay, hand it over, Anon."
"Hand what over?"
>The paper with your prediction on it. You did predict all of this happening, right?"
"Uh, not exactly--"
>"This book should have a spell that will let me read your human written language-- Ah ha! Here it is! Now we can check and see if you really were telling the truth about seeing the film reels of us in the future."
"Twilight, wait!"
>She levitates the envelope out of your pocket and over to her, opening it up
>She casts the spell
>"Worlds apart, a distance great. In my mind, the words translate!"
>Suddenly the paper begins to glow with a mysterious blue light
>"Well, Twilight?" Rarity asks
>"What does it say?"
>Twilight looks the paper up and down
>"Anon."
"Yeah?"
>"You're not very good at writing with a quill pen, are you?"
"Not really, why?"
>"This spell will only work if the passage is legible in the first place."
>She turns the paper toward everyone and shows them your awful penmanship
>It looks like Jackson Pollock swallowed a bunch of ink and then took a shit on your paper
>Everyone falls on the floor laughing
"Fuck you guys."