Madeline McFaddas pulled her time card out of the machine as it made the satisfying cachunk sound. After putting her card back into its slot her eyes searched for her name tag on the rack where they were kept when not in use. When she saw what should be hers she let out an exasperated sigh and rolled eyes.
“McFatass”
Nothing she had never heard before. She had been hearing it since middle school, it didn’t help that she had been the fattest girl in school since then and probably even before that. At this point she was at least the second fattest person in town, not that that was saying much. The town had a population of just under 2,000 and that probably wasn’t going to change with most people leaving as soon as they graduated high school. Maddie didn’t have the opportunity to go to college but by the time she had graduated she had already been working at the McDonald’s for a few years so she did have something of a career plan.
There was still the matter of her name tag. She didn’t care much about what it said but she did care who did it. The primary suspect was the new hire, Austin. A high schooler who she had mostly brought on because he was the little brother of her brother’s friend. This must be the price of nepotism. He didn’t seem serious about the job and despite her general positive demeanor Maddie did like to run a relatively tight ship. She put the nametag on just to say in uniform and walked into the front. As the manager she was with few exceptions the first one in for any given shift but lo and behold Austin was sitting there with a borderline moronic smirk on his face. She doubted that he was here early to make a good impression and his horribly stifled chuckling practically confirmed this.
“Good morning Austin. Ready for your first real day?” Maddie said with an undertone of interrogation that would be clearly noticeable to all but the most baked.
“Yeah sure thing Ms. Fatass.” Mispronouncing her name on purpose as if she wouldn’t notice.
“You wouldn’t happen to have noticed anything strange with the nametag rack, would you?”
“Don’t think I noticed anything up with your nametag.” Yep, definitely stoned. She let out a long sigh and put her hand to her forehead.
“Austin, get out. Don’t come back.”
“Wah? What did I do?” The pathetic feigning of ignorance was practically worse than a signed confession. He stormed out, grumbling something containing the words “fat bitch”. Maddie was already thinking about what she had to do now. Firstly she needed to order a new nametag as soon as she could, and now instead of training a new employee so she would need to step up and work the stations herself so that meant working the register and grill before lunch and after lunch she’d be working drive thru.
Before they opened Maddie busied herself prepping some stations and checking if anything needed a last clean up. The other employees trickled in at their own pace. Maddie was a bit excited when she was reminded that her best friend Lizzie would be working with her today, namely by the fact that Lizzie walked through the door. They had been friends in highschool and Maddie had pressured her into working with her at the McDonald’s and she finally gave in during Junior year but only during the summers. Liz was much more studious than Maddie which allowed her to get a full ride to an in-state college. But despite her academic prowess she was back here working full time just the same which said more about the job market than her. Regardless of any of that seeing Liz definitely brightened Maddie’s day. Of course the name tag situation did not go unnoticed,
“What’s with the nametag, was it a gift from Jeremy Rosenthal?” Liz asked, dredging up memories of one of the biggest dickheads that ever graced the halls of Buttermilk Falls High.
“Not exactly but if reincarnation is your thing then could be.” Maddie is always significantly more relaxed when talking to Liz as if they were back hiding under the bleachers during gym class.
“I thought Jeremy moved to Pittsburgh to be a paralegal at his uncle’s firm or something, not died.” Whatever it was that made Maddie so light hearted when talking to Liz went the other way too.
“Have you ever known anyone who went to Pittsburgh and lived?”
“Well not necessarily but that may just be wishful thinking on your part, not that I would complain about Jeremy getting what he deserves.” The two had been the most popular targets for Jeremy’s standard brand of rich boy douchiness. His dad owned some big car dealership and whenever given an opportunity he’d go on some tangent about how his great grandfather founded the town but that was dubious at best.
 “Okay maybe not dead but maybe in some sort of forced labor camp making bootleg cheesesteaks.”
“Really? Cheesesteaks?”
“Okay so maybe that’s the only thing I know about Pennsylvania, sue me.”
“Of course, it’s something food related.”
“And what is that supposed to mean?” The light-hearted banter between the two often took this mock offensive and defensive tone but both knew it was all in good fun.
“Well a woman of your stature…” Liz didn’t have much room to talk herself. She wasn’t nearly as pudgy as her friend but she was definitely more familiar with a calculator than a treadmill. She wasn’t exactly in shape when they met but over the years and years they’ve known each other she’s gone from just a tad soft to a bit chubby but now she’s a downright porker. Surprisingly a bulk of her bulk came about while she was away at school and Maddie was always a bit in awe at what college dining had been doing to her friend whenever she came home, granted she realized she was probably still outpacing Liz’s growth by a significant margin. She assumed Liz noticed but neither had ever mentioned it.
“Yea whatever, now I just want a cheesesteak.”
“In case you haven’t noticed we’re at work right now so-“
“Hey! That’s a great idea!” Maddie interrupted her face lighting up.
“Wait, no. No. What idea?” Liz had a feeling what direction this would be going and didn’t like that feeling.
“We’ve got 10 minutes until we’re actually open, we can totally make some ghetto cheesesteaks.” It took closer to 15 minutes but there were two heaping “cheesesteaks” and all before the first customers rolled in. The biggest delay of game was Maddie refusing to just use some diced-up beef patties like Liz was saying but instead insisting they use real “steak” from the steak and egg burritos, however the steak for that comes in a sort of egg and veggie liquid goop and Maddie was adamant that they had to strain it out. There was also some heated discussion on what to serve it on. The thought of a cheesesteak on a sesame seed bun struck them both as downright unnatural. Maddie lamented aloud the fact that the McRib bun would be ideal for their McCheesesteaks but much to her dismay they didn’t have any on hand. To the revulsion of them both they eventually piled their cheesy onion steak and slightly eggy concoction onto round seedless buns. Despite the hang ups the girls scarfed them down with haste and went their separate ways to their stations patting their content stomachs.
Despite being in such a small town the restaurant was rarely empty because of the close proximity to the interstate. Also, as a result of this the drive through was much more popular so working the register was often considered as sort of a break by the other employees. Granted those employees weren’t in excess of 400 pounds. Maddie wasn’t exactly sure how much she weighed but according to her spine it was too much. Usually in an attempt to alleviate some of the stress on her body she would rest her apron of a gut on the counter. She would be the first to admit it was less than professional but it was a necessary evil from her perspective. Often times her sagging midsection found its way onto things without her knowledge, luckily for all parties involved it was never the grill.
With such little to actually do Maddie was forced to just listen to the drive thru commotion and smell the aromas of food prep while she just stood there facing the front of the store trying not to think about how uncomfortable she was. Not only was there the weight on her back and her feet but there was the tightness of her uniform. Maddie was pretty honest with herself about her weight and didn’t mind most of the complications it caused but for some reason there was just something about ordering new uniforms that was so embarrassing, she was perfectly okay with walking into the big and tall (though she was decidedly not the latter) and asking for clothes with X’s that would make a moonshiner, a pornstar, and a Roman blush. When it came to uniforms though she could never bring herself to do it, most of the time the only way she isn’t completely bursting the seams is by piggy backing on someone else’s order so she isn’t all alone. A disproportionate amount of the time the piggybackee ends up being Liz, who a few times has claimed that it’s the size she’s already wearing and she just needs a new set. Even though the uniforms were technically handled by an external company she had some feeling that corporate was somehow tracking how big she was getting and she didn’t like the idea of a bunch of pencil pushers and bean counters being privy to her pants size. The idea of being some obesity statistic in a board meeting made her much more uncomfortable than her pillowy arms stretching her sleeves to the limit ever could. As the large girl was lost in her musings with her blank generic customer service smile a customer came in and started rattling off their order almost immediately. Maddie tried to hide the fact that she was lost in thought as she shook it off and almost automatically started punching the order into the terminal. Maddie didn’t recognize the person so it was most likely that they were a traveler in need of some coffee, a McGriddle and a hash brown. It was sort of a hobby of Maddie’s to really look at the customers when she had the time for it and imagine where they were going or just make up stories about them. The one in question was a man in about his late twenties to early thirties, not much older than Maddie. He was dressed practically the definition of business casual with an oxford button up shirt and a pair of slacks, and it was evident that either his metabolism was slowing down or this wasn’t the only McDonald’s he had been visiting recently. His stomach was filled his shirt out just a bit more than the buttons liked but he certainly wasn’t at risk of a wardrobe malfunction or anything. His pants clung to his thighs in that Maddie was all too familiar with and would be absolutely killer if he had to crouch down or move his legs much more than regulated steps. As he turned to head for the bathroom Maddie got a view of his butt which was quite the sight and in her opinion was pretty cute. She had always had a taste for what would come to be known as dad bods. He came out slightly before his food was ready giving Maddie more time to perv on him, he had a round face entirely surrounded by a long mess of black hair and a beard to match. As she got word from the back that his order was ready she readied herself for what would certainly be an awkward situation if anyone pickup on it. As she turned to retrieve the bag containing his order, her belly slipped off the counter and she let out a low but distinctly audible “oof” sound as the weight shifted from the solid surface counter top and onto her spine and knees. The shock caused her to walk with an awkward waddle for the few steps it took to reach the sack of food, on the return trip she was back to her only slightly less waddling gait.
“Here’s your food, have an excellent day!” Maddie thought she sounded a bit too enthusiastic because she was staggered by how cute he was. He took the food and left with little more than an approving grumble as he still rubbed sleep from his eyes. Of course, her first real interaction of the day was so blisteringly awkward, now she’d be kicking herself for it all day. On the plus side at least, he didn’t notice her nametag. It was actually pretty high quality all things considered, if he had put this much effort into anything else in his life besides a cheap joke Maddie would be decently impressed. On the other hand, the man who just left probably wouldn’t have noticed if a purple hippo was serving him. Maddie looked down at herself. Well at least she wasn’t purple.
Luckily as the morning progressed and business picked up Maddie’s level of awkwardness fell to reasonable levels. The trickle of dine in patrons was slow but steady like most days, a little thicker considering it was a weekend in Summer. If it was a winter Tuesday there would be little more than staff at this hour. But days like today saw plenty of road trippers stopping for a quick bite and to stretch their legs. One thing Maddie liked about working the counter was that people who were travelling that chose to stay and enjoy their meal were always more relaxed and not only pleasant but just pleasing with the content and blissful atmosphere they exuded rather than the rushed, high strung, and itinerary bound motorists that opt for the drive thru. That was just one of many reasons why Maddie didn’t like the drive thru, first of which probably being it was more work but that wasn’t entirely it. Another big one was the spelling “drive thru” it bothered her more than she figured it probably should. Growing up she remembers all her favorite fast food places spelling it right but then it seemed all at once they all switched, as if one of the multibillion dollar transnational titans of a corporation realized they were above the law of spelling and it was a veritable arms race to see who could axe the most letters. She felt like something was lost other than just those few letters. How long was it until Yum! Foods made a new symbol that just meant drive through and it was just accepted into the alphabet by the general populace? Maddie then thought about how she shouldn’t let her mind wander like this because it never led anywhere good. Though here ability to get lost in thought was probably what enabled her to get through each shift, though it was probably also the reason she didn’t do so well in school. Before she even knew it, it was time for a reshuffle of stations.
Grill was probably hardest for her because she was entirely on her feet the whole time, not to mention the number hunching over like that did on her neck. On top of that was the temptation to sneak a snack and her resolve to not do that. The battle would usually play out the same way every time, a strong start followed by sneaking a few fries every now and which would open the floodgates. A slew of nuggets would typically flow afterward and if things weren’t absolutely slammed a McChicken or whatever else she was in the mood for and even if things were slammed will would somehow make way. On a really slow day one time some of Liz had kept track of her intake and it honestly shocked them both. It amounted to 32 chicken McNuggets, two double quarter pounders, three McChickens, and a Filet O’ Fish. In Lizzie’s professional estimation about two and a half large fries. Maddie was one part surprised at the amount she ate and one part surprised at how little she was surprised. Ever the scientist Liz of course hadn’t told Maddie she was observing her and as part of her official report she made it clear how hard it was to keep a lid on it. The weirdest part was how Maddie still believes she couldn’t eat that much at once if she tried and she’s been tempted to try for it again on purpose for some strange reason. She also wondered if that was the most she’s ever eaten; how could it not be? It was so much after all. But what are the chances that on that one particular day where Liz decided to just so happen to act as score keeper she would break records she didn’t even know she had set. Maybe Liz kept track more than that? Maybe even most days? But she just had to tell Maddie on that one absolute jaw dropping day. She’d have to ask Lizzie about this later. Maddie looked down at her body. When she really thought about it it’s almost impossible not to believe, she had to get this way some how didn’t she? She had always been on the bigger side, she even joked that the sperm must have been fat, but if she really tried she could have changed that at any time, couldn’t she? Decades of chances to slim down if she really exerted herself, she didn’t have any medical condition preventing her from doing anything like that. She had no reason why she couldn’t but at the same time she had no reason why she wanted to. Yeah, sometimes her weight caused some problems but it wasn’t ruining her life, that was a whole other can of worms. What if she was hesitant to lose weight because it was what made her unique? Like if she wasn’t fat or even if she just wasn’t as fat she would be a different person somehow? These were some deep identity issues to be worked out while searing beef patties. Maybe it was ironic that she was making beef patties and it was beef patties that made her in some sense. Again, she was thinking too much probably. Maybe it was time for a Big Mac.
As the lunch rush rolled around Maddie couldn’t stop focusing on her own eventual lunch, the system of staggered lunches made it so the hour or two leading up to it was especially demanding on those that remained. But it did come much to Maddie’s delight. Her and Liz were on the same shift which may have been because a certain somebody pulled some strings when that someone was making the schedule. They met in the break room
“How’s that cheesesteak sitting with ya?” asked Lizzie.
“Well it’s got some friends now so it’s been behaving. Is there some grumbling in your gut? Trouble in the tummy? Irritation in the intestine?” Maddie teased with an elbow to her friend’s organ in question.
“You could say that, but I really wish you didn’t” Liz retorted expressing her at aversion her friend’s alliteration and pushing her elbow away with her hand, keeping it on her paunch lightly caressing it sympathetically.
“You’ll feel better once you eat some more.”
“That’s your answer to everything.”
“Have I ever been wrong?”
“Pretty often but I hate it more when you’re right.” Liz grabbed her keys and the two headed out the back door. If you looked at a break down of their diets you’d think their loyalties lied with Ronald first and foremost with every other food establishment and nearly all vegetables being miles and miles behind but that wasn’t entirely the case. The loved it but in the same way a fisherman loves fish, yeah they’ll be having it most of the time but mainly out of convenience. In truth they were pretty lukewarm on it falling more on the warm side than the luke side. Because of this they went out to eat with few exceptions. They made their way across the parking lot to Lizzie’s 2005 silver Toyota Corolla with the banged up front fender and no front license plate. The car was a hand me down from her parents, which she received in near perfect condition. Liz drove most of the time because Maddie’s car had problems with the AC which was a necessity on a day like this, Maddie was also a bit embarrassed to have passengers in the car when she drove because of the way her stomach brushed up against the wheel. It was a little weird that she was still sensitive about even her best friend seeing it, it wasn’t like after being almost inseparable for half their lives Liz was going to see this one thing and all at once realize that her friend was fat. It wasn’t even that she was worried that Liz would tease her for it, that was a sure thing if anything, she didn’t mind the cracks about her weight. It was part of who she was after all. So then why did she feel this way? Her friend who’d seen her naked enough times she could probably draw a map of her rolls would have no real reason to care about this one little thing, right? But what if she did? What if she felt sorry not just for this one thing but for her in general? All her life she had been treated differently because of her weight. But it was clear now, the one thing she never wanted was pity. Not from her friend not from anyone. That was it, she didn’t want to be looked down upon because of she was fat. Never “oh the poor fat girl can’t even drive so sad” instead she’d prefer “wow Mads how long until you’re bigger than the car” or even “look at that fucking pig, how fucking fat do you have to outgrow your car”. She was fine with jokes and even insults but if someone genuinely felt bad for her she wouldn’t be able to handle it. There was nothing to feel bad about so she didn’t need other people feeling bad on her behalf.
“Whatcha thinkin’ Mads?” Liz asked while she unlocked the car. Maddie was immediately worried that she was making a face reflecting the intense introspection she had just performed.
“Uhh nothing.” Smooth.
“Really you don’t want anything for lunch? Well okay then.” Liz said with a clearly mocking tone.
“Oh what am I thinking for lunch…I’m thinking Arby’s.” If the two of them were any indication that ad campaign was the most effective in history. It was almost always thrown out as a joke but then taken seriously because both of them were fatally indecisive especially when it came to matters of food.
With that issue settled the girls dampened with sweat from the minute or so of exposure to the elements opened the car doors and packed inside. They let out almost synchronized grunts of exertion as they settled in to their seats. Like clockwork Maddie pulled the back of her shirt back down after her love handles rolled it up whenever she sat down, Liz’s situation wasn’t nearly as severe but it seemed she wasn’t used to handling it resulting in a sliver of flesh flashing Maddie the whole ride there. Almost anytime they were going anywhere they played one of the dozens of mix CDs they made each other throughout high school and beyond. The lineup for today featured Pink Floyd’s Another Brick in the Wall in its entirety with sung choruses and in seat dancing. Even thought they reached their destination before the song was over they of course stayed in the car until it was over. As they were getting out Liz, ever the brains of the operation, reminded Maddie that she should probably take of her profanity laden if descriptive name tag. They went in and were greeted by name by the girl working the register, mostly because it was just that small of a town but partly because they came in once a week at least. After a few minutes of careful deliberation, they were ready with their order. Maddie went first and ordered A half pound Beef n’ Cheese meal with a large cherry Coke and fries, in addition she got an orange cream shake and an order of loaded fries with the intent to share them with Liz. Liz stepped up next and told the girl behind the counter what she wanted; that being a buffalo chicken sandwich with no lettuce, a large fry, and a jamocha shake and an order of four Potato Cakes with intent to share with Maddie. They sat at a booth that they liked namely because it was close to the drink machine so they had easy access to refills. They had been sitting here since high school and they had grown fairly attached to it. But that wasn’t the only way they had grown, it was true that both of them had some trouble getting in and out making the sought easy drink access not so easy. One of the little things Maddie thought about was what a graph of her average time spent getting out of restaurant booths compared with her weight would look like. It being linear seemed doubtful, exponential sounded a bit farfetched, maybe it didn’t even scale homogeneously like what if it stayed roughly the same until some milestone that just so happened to spike her time, like what if when she hit 341 pounds her thighs had just so happened to beef up enough to make it so they could only fit out one at a time.
“Hey Liz what’s it called when a graph doesn’t go in some sort of pattern? Is it nonhomogeneous?”
“Sounds right enough.” It seemed like Liz stopped caring about academic stuff a lot more since she graduated. Maybe it wasn’t graduating but how soon after graduation that it didn’t get her anywhere and maybe never would. It was sorta sad to see as the salutatorian seemed to lose her spark for education. Though on the other hand it was expected and, in some sense, natural to lose enthusiasm about things as they got older. When she thought about it made Maddie kind of sad that so many bright-eyed idealists are crushed by the realities of the world, surely it wasn’t necessary was it?
“Liz, if you had to say what was I the most enthusiastic about in my life, not just now but ever for as long as you’ve known me?” Maddie knew what Liz was gonna say before she even started the question.
“Food obviously.” Liz sounded sincere but it was clear she was making an easy joke, there’s no way she wouldn’t with a setup so easy.
“Seriously, think about it.” Liz made a slight hum of consideration. At that moment their food was ready and she practically proved Liz right. She carried both the trays back to the table and worked her way back to a sitting position while Liz took a sip of her shake.
“Man, I love this thing.”
“I think you say that every time.”
“Well I love it every time.”
“C’mon Jamocha is gross, Creamsicle is the way to go.”
“Shut up, you 50’s wannabe.”
“If this is what the 50’s were like then take me back.”
“I don’t think they just drank milkshakes all day.”
“On second thought sounds boring.”
“Good to know you think segregation and the civil rights movement is boring.”
“When compared to milkshakes, yeah.”
“Yeah you’re probably right.” Once the banter had subsided Maddie took the first chomp out of her burger while Lizzie went back to her shake.
“God damn, this place deserves our business if only for the fact that they’re the only one who has the balls to give you a half pound of meat.”
“You do realize that we sell a double quarter pounder?”
“Okay but they still have the stones to not mince words about it. Also, they don’t put any leaves on it.”
“Amen to that.” They munched silently with various moans of approval interspersed. After a sip of her soda Maddie lifted one of her fries and began waving it as if she was about to make a point.
“How different do your think our lives would be if we worked here instead?” Maddie said popping her gesturing fry into her mouth. Lizze contorted her face as she slurped at her dwindling shake.
“I’d be sucking these down all day, that’s for sure. Other than that, maybe we’d be completely Bizarro versions of ourselves, who knows.”
“We’d probably become some sort of half milkshake slug half girls. Not exactly the bizzaro us, more where we’re gonna end up eventually.”
“True, true. Think our skin would, or should I say will, turn orange and jamocha?”
“Not exactly but we’ll be excreting a colorful slimy mucus from our skin.”
“And the eyestalks?”
“I’m gonna say no, but we’ll have to see.”
“I don’t like the idea of my eyes being exposed like that so I’d prefer not.”
“It does sound dangerous, and we wouldn’t even be able to wear helmets.” Maddie went for a drink of her soda to the signature and sour sound of a straw sucking wind. She scooted along until she could free her lower body from under the table and got up and made the short trip to the drink machine. About a year and a half ago they installed one of the fancy computer Coke machines with every flavor. It was always such a daunting task to chose just one for Maddie so usually she would get the running down to three or so contenders and then have a sampling of each one until she knew for sure what she was in the mood for, this time it seemed to be a bubbly Mellow Yellow tickling her fancy. She filled the large cup, drank about a quarter of it and then filled it again. The machines never made it quite right, something about how it mixed syrups to get each soda instead of just having one syrup for each soda.
“Back when we were in high school and you really wanted me start working at McDonald’s with you.” Liz said completely straight as if she just expressed a complete thought.
“What about it?”
“I’d say that’s what you’ve been most enthusiastic about.”
“Ah. Hmm I could see that being plausible.” This startled Maddie, not Liz answering in such a disjointed way which was pretty standard for both of them. It really was believable, she did hound her for hours almost every day. From this fact it would be logical draw the conclusion that her friends are important to her, which upon further consideration was sorta sad or at least a bit telling considering her list of friends is solidly in the single digits. And what does it say that she got the best possible outcome for the thing she was at least reportedly most enthusiastic about. Did this mean that she had peaked in life? She didn’t really have any long term goals at the moment, she had vague ideas of goals that she really wouldn’t mind achieving like moving out but she didn’t have much of a plan and she didn’t mind living with her family, she had a decent amount of money saved up but it was just such a hassle. The fact that her biggest ambition was just something she was ambivalent about could mean all sorts of things. Was she not motivated about anything? Was that really such a bad thing? Just being content with your life doesn’t sound terrible but having no desires makes her sound like a loser. How was she any different from a dog who just lives day to day totally pleased with a full belly and some attention? The only difference would be how much it takes to fill that belly, and it wasn’t uncommon for Maddie to go a fair bit beyond just full. Maybe she needed a hobby. The act of looking for a hobby was always weird, like how did people decide what they wanted to try and how long did they give it        before they decided they didn’t like it. Or what if you wanted to try something like metallurgy where you had to make some massive investment before finding out you don’t like it. What do you do with that multithousand dollar forge in your backyard? It doesn’t make a lot of sense with lots of different hobbies, like how do you start to get into falconry or something? The glove is easy enough but do you have to buy a newborn falcon so it can imprint on you or can you borrow one from a friend and further who has friends who have a falcon. I guess a lot of hobbies don’t make sense when you think about them too much. But there were a lot that just made no sense to Maddie, like why are there people that care so much about cars. Like why do people get so obsessed with things literally just made to get from point A to point B.
Every hobby Maddie thought about seemed in some way ridiculous. Maybe she should focus more on her work, but that raised the question of how she would do that. Taking more hours was borderline impossible due to the fact that she was pretty much there whenever they were open for business. What if she tried new work related things on her own time, there were always those stories about those regular employees who ended up making the next big ticket menu item. There was the slight hang up that Maddie’s greatest culinary achievement was putting Kraft singles in the Mac n Cheese to make it cheesier. Maybe she could learn how to cook, that was an interest not entirely nonsense to her. After all it had a useful byproduct, and probably her favorite one at that. This was really something she could get behind, maybe like learn a recipe every week or something. That could be like her thing.
“What do you think about learning cooking together, like every week we pick a recipe and then we get real good at it or something. That sounds fun, right?” Maddie decided she needed a second opinion on this, and it could just be something fun for them to do together.
“That could actually be pretty fun. Let’s do this. Also we get food, which is usually what we do anyway, but we get to stay home now.” Lizzie sounded even more enthusiastic than Maddie was. “Now the only question is what are we gonna start with?”
“Damn, I was hoping you had something. I can’t make decisions on my own.”
“Well wait what’s both of our favorite food?”
“Of course! We can make cheesecake! Perfect.” Maddie was getting excited for it already. “Okay so we can try tonight, see how that goes and maybe do good very probably not. Try again tomorrow and hopefully do better until we are absolute cheesecake masters.”
“Then we can have masterpiece cheesecake on demand. This is exactly what we need in our lives.” Lizzie’s eyes seemed to glisten like they looked upon El Dorado.
They continued expressing their joy at this idea well after their meal had ended as they sat there digesting. Eventually the time came for them to make the drive back. Maddie topped off her soda on the way out and they were under the hot midafternoon sun again. By the time they had made the few yard trek to the car moisture was beginning to collect in the small of both the girls backs and under their boobs. Neither girl exactly had impressive chests, more just flaps of fat, it’s been a point of teasing historically between the two. From the time that size started to matter Liz had a more generous bosom but as Maddie continued to grow she caught up and exceeded Liz but now that she was catching up to Maddie in general size their sweater fillers hovered around the same size. The fact that Liz’s chest was growing was the closest to any acknowledgement that Liz was gaining weight. She had to notice right? This wasn’t a couple pounds, not just a little winter weight or the legendary Freshman Fifteen. It must have been closing in on a hundred pounds, if not surpassing that milestone already. Not to mention the puppy fat she had been acquiring before she went to college mostly due to the unintended tutelage of Maddie not that she wasn’t putting work in independently. Maddie did feel a little responsible for what was happening to her friend, it was hard to not connect her getting fat and her best friend being so excessively fat. Liz never voiced any protest for it but that didn’t stop Maddie’s worries over it. She really wanted to ask her about it, but now wasn’t the best time but as of yet that time hasn’t come yet and may never. For now she would keep the topic on the tip of her tongue until the time to strike is nigh.
For now she squeezed her wide rear into the car and yanked the door closed with enough force to make sure the door didn’t bounce off her love handle. She felt the calorie bomb in her stomach drop as she settled into the confines of the passenger seat. Her hands slid to her midsection by instinct like they do after almost every meal and began to stroke and pat it not unlike a dear pet. It was only a matter of time before she gave it a name and started talking to it in that baby voice thing that people do. Liz settled into the driver’s side and grunted with effort, this time both girls left their strip of flesh exposed if only because their thoughts were on other things. Maddie often wondered what Liz was thinking, namely because she thought so much and they were so similar in so many ways and they both had the habit of just asking something out of the blue that they had been meditating on. It was what fueled a majority of their conversations and it was fun to have someone to bounce ideas off of no matter how ludicrous they may be. It was refreshing to not have any sense of monotony in their interactions with every conversation being different. There were times when she felt like she didn’t really know anything about who was allegedly her best friend but other times she felt like she knew her better than any married couple ever knew each other. How many married couples knew each other since they were in middle school. The drive back to work was filled with gushing over what they just ate and how much they were looking forward to this cheesecake experiment. They always had a good time together regardless of what they were doing or what they were talking about.
Once they returned to the McDonald’s they waited in the car until it was absolutely time that they had to go back in. Whenever Maddie did things like this or snuck food she thought about how she should really be the responsible one as the manager but she felt she did a good job in spite of this so it really shouldn’t be held against her, but she was probably just being overly defensive. As she clocked back in she remembered she would be doing drive thru, which wasn’t too hard but it was probably most mentally demanding. She planted herself on the stool by the window and put on the headset and started performing her standard duties. This was when Maddie always felt most curious about where the food and these people were going and what would happen to them. She knew full well it was none of her concern what these people were like but when she saw them only for a moment and then they sped off down the interstate she couldn’t help but think about it. There were a few times every day when she knew nearly everything about the person and could pretty accurately guess what they were going to do, and that was when it was a local person coming in, beyond that she knew which of her neighbors she would practically never see and those few who she was more likely to see than not on any given day. There was one in particular that Maddie thought of in this category, and this particular individual was the reason why Maddie was probably only the second fattest person in town. It was only a matter of time before they made an appearance, which Maddie always looked forward to on some level. The strangest part was that she only knew them through their frequent visits, she never met them outside of the context of serving them food. She met them on the job and had never seen them other than then and she never heard any other people in town talk about them. There was also one of the strangest things about them, and that would be the reason why she has only referred to them as they and them. That reason would be that it’s a tag team, a mother son duo. Both of them were FAT. Maddie realized how she sounded calling others fat but it wasn’t a criticism more just a statement of what she could only describe as amazement. It was difficult to for Maddie to pinpoint exactly how much the mom weighed because firstly she was terrible at estimating this type of thing but also because she only got to look at her through the drive thru window for a minute or two at longest. It was nearly impossible to estimate the size of her son other than just downright huge, he was more than fat than boy. Despite all of this Maddie found him incredibly adorable but whenever she saw him she felt a little sad, not for him but more for herself. She first met the mother, who she later found out was named Gwen, when she was only slightly visibly pregnant and she first came into the McDonald’s a few months into Maddie’s employment. It was the fact that it served as a reminder that she had been working here longer than some people had been alive. When she first met Gwen about a dozen years ago she was at most what she would call curvy but she was astoundingly conventionally attractive. Throughout her whole pregnancy she was eating for at least two, to the point where Maddie was more than a little surprised when she found out she wasn’t having triplets. She knew it was normal for women to put on a decent amount of baby weight but Gwen must’ve put on at least 60 pounds from the first time Maddie saw her to after she had given birth. Maddie was also astound by the fact her pace was more or less maintained, to the point where this former curvaceous bombshell was now comparable in size to long time porker Maddie. Every time she saw Gwen some part of her wanted to ask how much she weighed to see if she really was only the second fattest person in town, but since she didn’t know her own weight it wouldn’t be much of a help. It was only a matter of time before she heard Gwen over the headset and took her order, hearing her order always had triggered the “man that sounds good right now” part of her brain. It was of course never a small order and it took some time to fill. As the workers on the grill prepared it Maddie had some time to chat with Gwen, she enjoyed how candid they were with each other as well as having some time to go all gooey over over how precious Finn was. He was just so soft and cuddly and an absolute cutie all together. The way his chubby cheeks just smooshed all about and how much fun he had with his own body and how he lit up when he laid eyes on the food. He was just a happy chubby soft kid. Maddie wondered how her life would be like if she grew up in a family like that, where she wasn’t the black sheep because of her size. Her parents weren’t athletic or anything and they were decently hefty themselves but they weren’t exactly fans of Maddie’s weight and were always encouraging her to go on all sorts of diets, they had given up on getting her to exercise years ago. Her little brother was pretty athletic and he had played soccer for almost his whole life and was probably going to play in college after he graduated next year. He teased her about her weight but it was mostly lighthearted and she made fun of him for being a “beanpole” and she liked being able to rib on him for something that was almost universally considered an asset. But if there was some alternate universe where she grew up with an obese parent and a practical blob of a kid brother, would she still “only” be as overweight as she was or would she be some absolute scale cracking, record breaking, bed filling, lard pile because of the less negative attitude, teetering on encouragement, towards her rampant overeating. Or there was the slim possibility that almost in an act of rebellion she would be a size 4 out of spite. There were times in her real life where she glutted herself almost exclusively due to vindictiveness, especially in high school whenever she’d get hurled some sort of insult she’d turn around and take an extra big bite from her chicken parm hero in full view of the other party just to get a reaction out of them. They would usually just scoff and roll their eyes or call her a pig but her and Liz usually got a laugh out of it.
As closing time drew near most of the employees started clocking out but of course Maddie was one of the two or three to stay through the psuedo-graveyard shift between about ten to one in the morning and then closing up. Liz was one of those clocking out so she bid farewell to Maddie and told her she’d pick up ingredients for their cheesecake endeavor and something to constitute some form of dinner, not that either of them really needed it given their tendency to sneak “snacks” at a hyperactive rate after sundown. It wasn’t fifteen minutes later that she received a text from Liz saying:
“what even goes into a cheesecake??”
“Like graham crackers, cream cheese, maybe some other stuff. Just look at the recipe on the cream cheese thing.”
“are we really so basic that our masterpiece signature dish gonna be based on what Philadelphia tells us to do?”
“At least to get off the ground, we’re gonna develop this over time. Babe Ruth swung a bat for the first time.”
“yeah but Kraft foods didn’t tell him to do it.”
“Yeah but he also didn’t eat the bat.”
“I don’t think I understand what you’re saying but okay.”
“Are you saying he should’ve eaten the bat?”
“no?”
“Well glad we’re in agreement.”
The post dinner hours weren’t quite dead but most of the orders were simple and easy to do, mostly coffee or things of that nature so she wasn’t too busy which enabled her to sort of float around the store, mostly with the purpose of looking for any food that was already prepared and they probably wouldn’t sell. Once she was done acting as the human vacuum cleaner she let the other workers go about an hour early and started closing up what she could dealing with the few customers that trickled through. Before long closing time officially came and Maddie locked up and got in her car, a dark blue 2004 Jeep Grand Cherokee. She got settled and adjusted her various chunky bits in order to get comfortable behind the wheel. Luckily the night had cooled off enough to the point where her broken A/C wasn’t much of a problem if she rolled her windows down. She preferred the freeing and wild wind, especially when the roads were empty enough that she could go as fast as she wanted like it was now. She had separate playlists for driving at night and during the day, with the night playlist being dominated by songs about driving and just going fast in general, right now it was The Distance by Cake. It was just a way she felt some time where she was overwhelmed with the desire to just go fast as an act of rebellion and freedom, she knew it was really pointless but it made her feel alive in some way. After only a few minutes of lead footing it she arrived at Lizzie’s house and pulled into the long driveway. She cut the engine and shifted her weight back and forth to swing her legs to the side and dismount. Lizzie’s house was a brick ranch style with a few steps up to the front door. Those three steps had over time become not quite the bane of Maddie’s life but at least of her visits to Lizzie’s house. Swinging her legs up the stairs before taking a moment to catch her breath at the door and swinging it open. Lizzie heard the door open and said in what could only be described as a loud whisper
“I’m in here!”
Maddie could tell she was in bathroom and trying not to wake up her parents. She walked into Liz’s room and undid her belt from the second notch and fed it back through the loops and dropped it to the floor. She unfastened her pants and immediately let her stomach out  despite not knowing she was sucking it in causing her to half grunt half sigh like she had just placed silver in the olympic clean and jerk. Her shirt could properly be described as the five pound bag for seven pounds of fat girl, it usually didn’t feel as restrictive as her pants but all the same she was glad to have it off. She went a drawer in Liz’s dresser that was made up entirely of Maddie’s clothes that she kept there for situations just like this that dated back to middle school sleepovers. She fished out a faded yellow tank top, that had become something of a midriff shirt, and a pair of short shorts that hugged her butt and thighs particularly. The time was coming where she needed to resupply the forward apparel outpost. Sometimes she would just take clothes she wore normally and drop them off but most of the time her and Liz would go shopping exclusively for this reason and sometimes let each other pick out what they would get because they would be the one seeing it most often, being worn or not. Maddie stood in the middle of her friends room for a moment running her fingers over the cellulite on her thighs. She always thought that people who were thin didn’t know what they were missing by not carrying a texture like this everywhere, it was just so soft and tickled so much to the touch. Of course anyone who wanted to get rid of their cellulite must be downright insane. Lizzie cleared her throat and Maddie turned to see her standing in the doorway, at this point Liz was used to Maddie fondling herself. She briefly considered how long she had been standing there but figured it was nothing she had never seen before or even in the past week.
“Am I interrupting something?”
“Well now I lost my place so I might as well reschedule at this point.”
“Well let’s go then.” Lizzie turned tail and proceeded toward the kitchen. She was wearing a pair of fuzzy pajama pants that were a little tight around the waist but baggy everywhere else and a t shirt from her college athletics department with cut quarter sleeves and a deep v cut in the neck that hugged all around her midsection. They headed into the kitchen where Liz started taking an assortment of ingredients out of the fridge and cabinets as Maddie leaned against the center island.
“So wanna gimme a rundown on what we’re doing here?”
“Well about that… Turns out that this is whole shebang is gonna take like at least two or three hours. So idk if you still wanna do this.” It bothered Maddie when she said acronyms aloud but it was something she did pretty often so she was forced to live with it.
“Well shucks… But I mean neither of us have work tomorrow so why not have some 4am cheesecake.”
“So we’re on the same page then. So then first we’re gonna crush up these grahams crackers and soak em in butter.”
“Got it.” The two each took half the graham crackers and began crushing them in plastic bags. After working silently for all of two minutes Liz asked,
“Do you think all those fancy restaurants that serve whatever artisan cheesecakes still crush their graham crackers in ziploc bags or is there some hoity toity way to do it?”
“Firstly how do you expect me to know? Secondly they probably have some super specific gadget used just for making crumbs. That or they use a mortar and pestle and think anyone who doesn’t isn’t even deserving of graham crackers.”
“Well obviously you can guess. Which you did. Which I appreciate.”
“Your welcome.” They proceeded with the process. Once they were done making crumbs they coated the bottom of the pan with them and to melt three tablespoons of butter. After they cut the butter and placed it in a bowl to be microwaved. They popped it in and pressed an assortment of buttons at near random figuring they’d just take it out when it looked done. Once the door was shut and the light came on the two leaned on the counter opposite the box. While the butter spun lazily Maddie spoke over the hum of the radiating appliance.
“If this really isn’t gonna be ready for three hours then I’m gonna need some grub to tide me over.” Maddie cradled her pampered paunch as an explanation of sorts.
“Oh that reminds me, I also picked up some…” She paused for dramatic effect as she stuck her face in a shopping bag and rooted around in it until she triumphantly pulled out over-flowing fistfuls of candy bars. She was absolutely beaming as she stood there looking like a moron as she dropped the silvery wrapped bars to the ground until she was left with only two or three bars in each hand. Maddie couldn’t help but chuckle at her friend’s antics until her temptations got the better of her and she bent down to the floor to pick up a dropped Kit Kat. Liz saw her opportunity and swung her arm at astounding speed, releasing the remaining treats in her hand sending flying across the room, until her hand made hard contact with the undefended rump sticking up in the air. The collision produced the most satisfying clapping sound she had ever heard with a rippling wave of flab to match. Now it was her turn to snicker and she again smiled triumphantly. Maddie shot up indignantly, the momentum carrying her chest orbs into her face only making her more indignant. She turned on her heel to face Liz and yanked her t-shirt up with a bit of difficulty and delivered a vicious pink belly to the exposed softness. After her flurry of slaps she bound away from her shocked friend. Keeping her eyes locked on Liz she began to unwrap her Kit Kat and hunch over it as she chomped half of it off not risking the time it took to snap it properly. Lizzie pulled her shirt back down hitting more than a few snag points as she glared daggers until she suddenly lost concentration and started looking towards the ceiling. Her mouth drew small with shock as she jolted towards the microwave and slammed the button to open the door releasing the full smell of the butter beginning to burn.
“Oh crap good call.” Maddie commented taking another bite of her chocolatey wafers nearly finishing it. They crowded around the bowl as Liz lifted it out of the microwave. There were pockets of browning among the liquid butter.
“Well now what do we do?”
“A. We try again and just dump this or B. Just use this.”
“Well we shouldn’t waste this right? How do you even get rid of butter? I mean wouldn’t it attract like animals in the trash or clog the sink?”
“Yeah I guess you’re right. I mean… we could like drink it?”
“Okay I know you’re a fatass but I really didn’t think that you would-”
“No no no! I would never… Around other people.” The back half of her statement was half joking and half whispered as if she was conflicted about even joking about it because it might not have been completely a joke.
“Okay… Moving past that what are we gonna do?”
“Well how about we still use this buttttt… we melt just a tad bit more to like dilute it.” Lizzie snapped her fingers and pointed with a finger gun.
“I’ll go with that.”
They poured the cinged liquid fat over the graham cracker crumbs in the bottom of the pan before slicing out a few more pads of butter into a clean bowl and stuck it in the microwave this time for less than a minute. Liz cracked open a Twix packaged from the floor, on guard while she stooped down to retrieve it but Maddie had her laser focus on the microwave. Once that was done they added that butter to the combination in the bottom of the tin.
“Aces. Now we whisk the cream cheese with the condensed milk.” Liz grabbed the aforementioned ingredients and a whisk out of a drawer. She dumped the ingredients into the bowl and set to work with the whisk mashing them together. While Liz toiled Maddie hefted her rear up on the countertop and began licking condensed milk from the inside of the can while looking at her phone.
“Hey! You’re gonna cut yourself!” Liz scolded her smacking her thigh.
“I won’t mom.”
“Why don’t you come get some real milk sweetie.” She shimyed her chest in an attempt to entice with her wobbling cleavage visible through the cut neck of her shirt.
“I’m going to ask you to never ever do that again.”
“What are ya gonna get an Oedipus complex?”
“I regret knowing what that is now, thanks.”
“Np honey bun.” Between the acronym and the continued mother-daughter conceit it was as if the sentence was engineered to bother her. Now there was no way she was going to give her the satisfaction of telling her that she actually did just cut her tongue.
After a good few minutes of Maddie was hoovering the inside of the can clean and Liz continued to stir the mixture.
“You know you could help.”
“I guess I could.” She continued browsing whatever app she was staring at making absolutely no movement to do it.
“Well will you?!?”
“I mean I’d prefer not to.”
“You lazy sack of-”
“FINE, fine.” She slumped off her countertop perch and set down her phone to trade off for the whisk. After under a minute of churning she could feel what little muscles there were in her arm losing their strength. She lasted another half minute or so before before switching arms and another minute on her left before declaring the job officially done.
“I can’t believe you! I was stirring for like fifteen minutes and you give up in like two seconds!”
“I had more power in my strokes obviously. It looks done anyway, look at that.” She held the bowl up for Liz to examine.
“Okay fine. Dump it in the pan.” She flipped the bowl over the cake tin that held the graham cracker base and scooped it out with a rubber spatula. Once she was done Liz took the spatula and smoothed over the top and put it into the fridge. Liz dusted faux dust off her hands and proclaimed “Now we just that chill for the next two hours or so.”
“Okay so now what do we do while that’s happening?”
“Well there’s the candy. I figured we could do that.”
“Does eating a Milky Way really take all of your brain power?”
“Not a Milky Way, but a Toblerone maybe.”
“Well should at least try to do something else to pass the time.”
“What if we did like a Guess Who type thing where we each pick a candy and then we ask yes or no questions and the first one to figure out the other’s candy gets to eat it or some shit?”
“Could be fun, could be awful. Only one way to know for sure.”
“Alright let’s get all this diabetes fuel together and bring it to my room.” They started grabbing all the bars that still littered the ground, some that gave the ultimate sacrifice and were trampled by the march of progress, in this case the feet of two oblivious girls. The way their cleaning styles were influenced by their fitness level, or rather their perceived fitness level. Maddie knew bending down any number of times that was either prime or composite would be felt long into the next morning so she made herself at home butt to the white tile and grabbed everything in reach and placed it into a makeshift pouch made with her shirt. While Maddie picked up around the more concentrated spots Liz went hunting around the kitchen for any that were flung wayward or kicked about at any point which was quite a few. Each time she happened upon one of her crop she would bend at the waist with a grunt overflowing with effort and right herself with just as much oomph, placing the candy in her cradled left arm. Maddie pretended not to notice the several times that Liz dropped something and bent back down to pick it up. Maddie was done a minute or so before Liz but she needed nearly all of that time just to pull herself up to a standing position with help from the countertop. With their spoils collected the went to the back of the house and into Liz’s room. Dumping the cache of candy onto the bed the two plopped themselves down on either side facing each other. The shaking of the frame was more unsettling to Maddie who was no stranger to breaking furniture but it proved to be a false alarm.
While Maddie was still gritting her teeth hoping that she wouldn’t have to go through the awkwardness of breaking someone else’s bed Liz was already eyeing the pile of sweets.
“Okay close your eyes I know what I’m picking.” Maddie obliged and after a brief period of rustling wrappers, a short pause, and another period of rustling wrappers she spoke up saying, “Alright you can open ‘em”
“Now, now, now what am I in the mood for tonight?” Maddie waggled her fingers over the pile as if issuing a threat.
“Hurry up!” Liz was growing impatient in the four seconds she had her hand over her eyes.
“The perfect pick takes time.” And she did have the perfect pick, she delicately extracted a packet of peanut m&m’s from the heap. After stashing them under her left thigh and waiting a few more seconds to punish her friend for being impatient she said, “Open up and ask away.”
“Is it chocolate?”
“Yep. Does it have nougat?”
“Yea. Does it have nuts?”
“Yep. Does it have caramel?”
“Yeaaa.” Maddie knew she getting close. “A snickers! Is it a snickers?” Liz’s hesitation to answer was washed away but her vein bulging enthusiasm when she thought she had the answer right in the palm of her hands.
“Nope, it’s way too early to start guessing specifics. Is its namesake astronomical in nature?” She was toying with her opponent now.
“What how is not a snickers? It has chocolate and nuts! Oh don’t tell me, you son of bitch, is it a Butterfinger?!” She didn’t even answer the question but she knew her time was coming either way.
“Stop saying ‘a snickers’ just because it’s the actual name doesn’t mean it doesn’t sound stupid. Also no. Did someone happen to mention this candy to you earlier tonight in relation to how tiny your attention span is and they were proven right because it was the only candy you could think of?”
“Shut up!” Lizzie always got whipped into a fit so easily when she was losing at something. “Is it a Baby Ruth?”
“Nope. Now hand over the Milky Way.” Liz grew visibly angry as she reached into her cleavage and withdrew the candy in question and threw it angrily down onto the bed. “Pleasure doing business with you.” Maddie unwrapped and began munching happily the treat.
“Okay you have to close your eyes so I can pick again.” Liz was unmistakably sour at how things were unfolding. Once Maddie’s eyes were covered she felt the pressure on the bed shift as Liz tried to peek behind her back.
“You’re not the only one who hid it, and I’ve got a lot more places to hide.” She lifted her stomach and dropped it smugly.
“That’s an unfair advantage!”
“Says the one who was trying to cheat. Have you picked yet?”
“Fine, I got it.”
They continued playing until the pile was reduced to practically nothing with Maddie earning and eating the lion’s share of it. By the time Liz had finally guessed the secret sweet hiding under her associate’s thigh, Maddie was able to guess Liz’s new picks just by noticing what was missing from the meager collection, not that her encyclopedic knowledge of candy bars wasn’t helpful.
Maddie leaned back with a breath of relief and asked,
“Why did you get so much candy?” Not in any way an actual criticism, barely even non rhetorical. Liz reclined also into the nest of wrappers that had been accumulating over the past hour.
“Sorry I wasn’t aware that one of us was going to be eating all of it!” She flicked her leg kicking Maddie weakly in the calf.
“Well excuse me for being an expert strategian.” Liz grumbled,
“More like expert cheater.”
“Well then it's your fault for letting me cheat.”
“At least you admit it.”
“Yeah that’s what that was, my confession. Lock me up and throw away the key.”
“With pleasure.”
“What the Hell? Why not tell me how much of naughty girl I’ve been. Once again you’ve taken a good thing and made it weird.”
“Sorry you don’t get my humor.”
“I think it’s just you being a perv.”
“Maybe all those rumors were right, we ARE lesbians.”
“Which lesbian rumors are you referring to exactly?
“My favorite was Senior year, where they bought us tickets to Prom as a joke.”
“Yeah but as Juniors there was Valentine’s candy and tickets to formal.”
“What was any of that supposed to accomplish again?”
“Maybe it was to get proof that were, in fact, 100% straight as a bowling ball.”
“Maybe they just wanted to see what a hippo’s dress looked like.”
“Well that was nothing compared to her ‘date’.”
“Shut up you.”
“I killed it in that dress and you know it.”
“Again, not that I’m a lesbo but with you in that dress, I totally would.”
“I mean it would be gay not to.”
“Oh yeah totally.”
Sometimes Maddie did think Liz may have been a little bicurious at least. Not even just because of some of her “off color” “““humor””” but sometimes she thought she caught her staring but never mentioned it. It didn’t help that neither of them had ever had a boyfriend as long as they’d known each other. They had really only talked about boys when they were at that age where they weren’t really interested but everyone was saying they would be soon so get used to it. Even then it wasn’t much beyond “What do you think of Melvin?” which would be answered with a “He’s pretty cute, I guess.” or “He’s alright, I guess.” Even if Liz was lesbian what are the odds she would be attracted to Maddie? She knew chubby chasers existed but never having met one she assumed they number somewhere between Bigfoots and Liechtensteiners. There was also the possibilities that she had had some sordid escapades in college, on a few occasions when she had called just to talk about some inane thing or the other it sounded like there was a man’s voice in the room being hushed. It wasn’t like Liz to keep secrets from Maddie but she did understand the importance of privacy. She had a laundry list of thing she wouldn’t tell anyone about, including her best friend. One such entry on that list was how much she secretly revelled in Liz getting pudgier and pudgier. It wasn’t like a sexual thing at all it was just like the same feeling you would get when a friend is starting to get into one of your hobbies, that wasn’t weird right? It wasn’t weird to want to engage in eating contests with your completely platonic best friend. Or as another entry on that list the number of times she’d been thoroughly turned on just by eating, it was inexplicable just how euphoric it could feel to just cram more and more rich and heavy food into her already stuffed gut. It wasn’t such stereotypical fat girlness that she got wet just thinking about food, it was just this feeling that almost hijacked her brain sometimes. There were items on the list no way related to food or being fat, or at least she thought so. None came to mind at the moment. She thought about how she needed to see someone, either like a date or a psychiatrist. Just some catharsis was all she needed.
Before she knew it she was being shaken awake by Liz, she had dozed off for a while without even noticing. She wondered what if anything that had happened had been a dream. If anything was it would probably be a pretty lame dream. Feeling the bedding of chocolate wrappers she could be sure at least that part wasn’t a dream, that or she was sleep eating again. It took a few seconds to process what Liz was saying and remember meant all the words she was saying meant.
“Come on lazy pants get up we’ve got cheesecake to try!” She sat up hoping to stop the vigorous shaking that her shoulders were enduring to mild success. After fifteen seconds of glassy eyed blinking and staring blankly she pleaded,
“Go easy on me you know how groggy I get after eating so much sugar.”
“Well get your glucose in gear, we’ve got cheesecake waiting for us.” Liz was pulling at Maddie’s arm trying to pull her into a standing position but a combination of inertia and otherworldly slothfulness kept her anchored to the bed until she was good and ready to get up, but when that time came she was happy to have the help. After a few seconds of huffing and puffing from the teamwork exercise Maddie followed Liz down the hall to the kitchen. The narrow hall was antithetical to the ample duo moving fast but they tried their hardest.
“You know I don’t think that’s how glucose works.”
“Do you want cake or not?”
“Yes please.”
“So shut up.” And so she did. Once they got to the kitchen Liz directed Maddie to take a seat at on of the stools at the island. Still too tired to question why she complied without a fuss and hopped up onto it. Liz opened a door and pulled out a cloth napkin.
“Wow, what are we being fancy for?”
“Oh no, this is for the double blind taste test.”
“Doesn’t double imply two? Also does that mean I’m getting blinded twice or testing twice?”
“Honestly not really sure what it actually means, but in this scenario it means while I was at the store I got one of their premade cheesecakes and I wanted to see if you could tell the difference.”
“Ahh… okayyy.” Maddie began getting confused as the napkin was tied around her eyes from behind her. “Won’t it be hard to see where the cake is considering I ya know, can’t?”
“I’ll take care of that, don’t worry.”
“Are you really gonna spoon feed me?”
“Not exactly.”
“I’m not doing trough style again, that was one time on a dare and I got beef and ricotta cheese all up my nose!”
“Just try not to bite my fingers off.” As Maddie was opening her mouth in realization Liz took the chance to introduce a new occupant to it.
“Here’s Cake A” Maddie mumbled something unintelligible through globules of the sweet, after she swallowed she was apparently content with the point she had made and didn’t try to reiterate. When she was ready for “Cake 1” as Liz called it she just opened her mouth and made a sound like she was waiting for the doctor to put a popsicle stick in her mouth. Another sizeable chomp and a brief period of chewing later Maddie proclaimed
“You can taste the burnt butter in this one.”
“C’mon you’re joking?”
“You honestly can, or at least I can.”
“I won’t ask how you got so good at tasting butter. But which one do you think is better?”
“Honestly they were both pretty good but I’m also the biggest cheesecake slut to ever exist so I’m probably not a reliable source.” Maddie took the blindfold off herself and saw that Liz had really just sunk her mitts into the desserts. “You couldn’t have at least cut a slice to feed me? Did you even wash your hands?”
“I knew there was something I forgot to do! Of course I washed my hands, some of us had plenty of time to attend to hygiene while we weren’t doing our impression of Rip Van Winkle.”
“Oh c’mon not even Sleeping Beauty?”
“I don’t think Sleeping Beauty snored like a freight train.”
“She might’ve, you never met her.”
“Well if she snored like you do then it’s a good thing I never met her or I’d put a pillow over her face until she shut up.”
“She was the one with the dwarves right? I don’t think they would let you.”
“How are dwarves gonna stop me? They’re like 3 feet tall.”
“If my math is right if there were seven of them that’s 21 feet total missy. You’re standing at what, 5’5” these days with socks on? I’m not liking your odds.”
“I just googled it, that was Snow White. No dwarf body guards running interference for Sleeping Beauty.”
“Wow can’t you just have a normal conversation without using your phone as a crutch?”
“You’re just mad that you were wrong.”
“Yes. No let’s serve up the rest of these cakes, preferably with forks this time.”
“What no plates?”
“You know what I meant- Actually, on second thought why bother? I mean it’s just us girls here, why bother tying ourselves down with plates and slices and all those things. Besides someone already demolished all rule of law by thrusting their grimy paws into them.”
“Don’t mean to spoil it but ours wasn’t too pretty to begin with.”
“I’ll pretend I didn’t hear that. How could you do that to our poor, sweet, innocent, beautiful, perfect, creamy, smooth, rich, baby?”
“Just take your fork crybaby.” Liz handed her the utensil in question and dug in herself.
“Just remember that it’s a marathon not a sprint.” Maddie’s sage advice gave no pause to Lizzie as she immediately started digging in barely stopping to breathe much less chew. Before even a quarter of either cake was gone Liz was already beginning to slow down and completely stop not soon after groaning about about some anomalous stomach issue. Maddie snickered at her disapprovingly and continued to munch happily along without a care in the world. When she finished the store bought cake she paused and turned to Liz,
“How’s the hare doing? Enjoying watching the tortoise eat the cake she worked so hard to make?”
“If the tortoise keeps inhaling cake like this then she won’t be able to fit in her shell pretty soon.”
“Then I’ll just be like the ant that stored food all summer and was well prepared when winter came.”
“How many animals can you be at once?”
“This is just like the bat who couldn’t decide if he was a bird or a mammal.”
“Just eat your stupid cake.” And so she did.
When the second cake was almost finished she offered the remaining she guessed was about a slice to Liz who had just been taking snapchats of her eating and sending them to her for lack of other people who cared.
“You just don’t want me to be able to say ‘You finished two cheesecakes by yourself.’ don’t you?”
“A contributing factor, but I’m trying to be nice here so take it or leave it.”
“Gimme.”
“That’s what I thought.”
“So you staying the night?” Liz mumbled through her mouthful of the indulgent dessert sending flecks of it onto the countertop and Maddies arm.
“I don’t think it can really be called staying the night if sunrise is in two hours, but yeah sure.”
“Alright do you want help getting the pull out ready?”
“Please.” When they were younger Maddie used to sleep in Liz’s bed with her but they grew out of that sometime around high school, this way they both actually got some sleep instead of just talking about whatever kids think is deep that they would probably still be talking about. Also this way Lizzie didn’t have to deal with Maddie snoring and Maddie didn’t have to deal with Liz hogging the blankets. It did make it a bit awkward when Mr. and Mrs. Lambert came into the living room to find her splayed out in skivvies. They were always super chill about it and most of the time Liz’s mom would wake her up and ask her if she wanted breakfast. Both of Liz’s parents were from Alabama and her mom definitely knew how to cook like it, she had mention being a cook before Lizzie was born but not much beyond that. On more than one occasion maddie had referred to her as a “Chicken fried angel from heaven” which she was always a good sport about. She did wonder why they moved to the podunk flyover state that they lived in now but it just wasn’t the type of thing that there was ever a right time to ask. It may have had something to do her dad’s job but she wasn’t positive what he even did for a living and it would just be awkward to admit she didn’t know at this point. Her knowledge of that wouldn’t make any significant difference in life in almost any situation she could think of. He did have an office where the door was always shut and they weren’t allowed in as kids but it was never like a cliched “never ever ever go in there as long as live and even after that” like some movie where they keep some monster in the attic more of a “Hey if you kids need me I’ll be in my office, just knock” and they would knock and he’d drive them to the park or wherever. Maddie was always curious what it was like being an only child, though Liz’s parents joked that they had adopted Maddie. The thought of just being outnumbered by your parents stuck out to her for whatever reason, like all that sheer parenting force focused entirely on you must get tiring pretty quick. But on the other hand sibling squabbles were best to be avoided so a permanent solution to that was desirable. It really boiled to down to a pick your poison scenario, except you didn’t get to pick. It may sound sappy but she really was grateful to have a best friend like Liz almost like a sister she chose. If they were actually sisters that would be bad news for their theoretical parents, they were each a real handful independently the mayhem that they would cause together from birth was unpleasant to even imagine.
Maddie went to the bathroom and wiped off the meager makeup she had put on that morning. She wasn’t one to be too worried about appearances, especially when it required work and waking up earlier, but she still put on at least a little on most days figuring the general public didn’t deserve to see her natural face, especially in the morning. After using the facilities for their intended purpose she returned to kitchen where Liz was putting the dirty dishes and utensils in the sink. Despite how lazy they were and how much they fooled around Liz was pretty proactive and responsible when she needed to be. It made Maddie think that maybe the two of them moving in together wouldn’t be all that bad. They had talked about it a lot in high school and while Liz was in college they said they would as soon as she graduated but the hadn’t yet. They were still talking about but things were getting a lot more serious like discussing matters of where they actually want to live and even looking on online for places. It was a slow start but the wheels were in motion. This cooking thing could turn out to be useful too as a completely unintended consequence. They really were acting like adults weren’t they? Adults that ate piles of candy when left unattended. Well it was good to have a semblance of an inner child too, particularly if that inner child lived in the stomach, not like a pregnancy thing just like actually being a kid in a candy store as an adult in that same candy store. Maybe she wasn’t much of an adult considering even the thought of being pregnant filled her with enough dread to turn her stomach. After all taking care of herself was practically a two man job. Not to mention even the notion of getting married, being with one person forever and ever until one of you croaks? Not exactly her idea of where she wants her life to go for the time being. Maybe future Maddie will find somebody to love and cherish and hold and all that to settle down with and let herself go. She did like to imagine what her “ideal husband” would be like but she never really came to any solid conclusions. He would need to have a sense of humor, more on the introverted side but just the two of them should be able to have fun out of the house, doesn’t have to be a genius but not dumb as a sack of rocks, maybe creative in some way or at least not a human Manila folder, obviously shared interests would be a plus but introducing each other to interesting things would also be fun, being a health but would be a major deal breaker or really anything else that would make them try to change her too much. Saying looks aren’t important wasn’t quite true, Maddie was annoyed by the smallest stuff about people’s appearance that most people wouldn’t even notice, like someone’s teeth being too small or their eyes pointing just a little to the side. But by no means did she have an actual image in her head. Generally she preferred who were at least a little chubby but some people looked better thinner and some looked better fatter so not even that was settled, though in most cases if her hypothetical hubby put on a few pounds she certainly wouldn’t complain. Other than that she almost always fantasized about someone looking completely different. She figured it was probably a good thing that she wasn’t all too picky so that if she did meet someone who she got along with well enough to gamble the rest of her life on she wouldn’t be totally disillusioned about what her Prince Charming should look like. Not that she was doing too much to look, more of a laissez faire approach. An approach that was notable for not only its complete lack of going to places where people go to meet other people as well as leaving the house when only absolutely necessary. Maybe it was time she took maybe even a little initiative in at least one realm of her life. But right now she was sleepy and full of cake so it was time for bed. Once Liz was done washing the dishes the two went into the living room to set up the pull out couch. The couch had seen better days and at this point the simple act of actually pulling it out had become a two man job. The two gave a coordinated heave and ho and the metal creaked before folding out halfway with a forceful thump.
“Umph, can’t you just leave this out all the time so we never have to do this again?”
“Honestly not a terrible idea, don’t know how it would fly with management. Also then I wouldn’t be able to watch TV without falling asleep.”
“Don’t you have a TV in your room?”
“Yeah, but it’s not the same.”
“That you watch from your bed?”
“Maybe, what’s your point.”
“No point at all, carry on.”
“I’d prefer not to be criticized like this in my home.”
“Maybe don’t be such a… uh, dweeb.”
“I don’t think that’s exactly fitting in this scenario.”
“But you’re not disputing it right?”
“Well why would I dispute being called a dweeb by a double dweeb.”
“Shut up dork.”
“Good one Queen Wit.”
“I’m tired okay?”
“So then maybe we should actually get this bed set up?” Maddie hadn’t noticed that they had been leaning on the partially unfolded frame and how heavily she was panting. They took their positions and and leaned back putting their weight into it. The futon jolted into place and the two nearly fell backwards but managed to recover. Maddie flopped forward face down onto the makeshift mattress and puffed,
“What a workout.”
“I take it you’re gonna sleep well then?”
“You bet sweet cheeks.”
“Alright night gorgeous.” Liz traipsed off back to her room turning off the lights on the way leaving Maddie to get some rest. Maddie wiggled about to take her shirt and shorts off without having to sit up. The ceiling fan circulated the cool night air onto her exposed skin causing goosebumps to spring up. She ran her hands over the bumps on her bare flesh stifling a giggle and the tickling sensation. Her hands continued to explore her soft expanse as they had night after night before. There was no greater pleasure to her than jiggling this or squeezing that it was all such a simple joy to feel the plush pleasure that her body offered. There were times where she felt conflicted about how much she enjoyed her own body, it was at least super narcissistic and at most really sexually fucked up. Not that she enjoyed it in a depraved way or anything, just like people enjoyed wearing silk or sleeping on memory foam. It was just a comfort thing except she also liked groping at it all the time whenever she was decently sure no one would notice. But it definitely wasn’t a weird thing to do, she was just doing it exclusively in private absolutely no reason. Whether it was weird or not it always helped her sleep, something about being snuggled up with her own soft, warm, tummy that sent her on a one way trip to dream land. Before long she was out cold doing what was probably a good impression of a grizzly bear with a sinus infection. She slept like a log all night and dreamt sweet things, probably a lot better than sugar plums. The couch wasn’t the greatest but Maddie wasn’t exactly one to not sleep well regardless of circumstances. She could sleep in the car, on planes, at the dining room table, she’s slept on the floor multiple times while stone cold sober. Sleeping was one of her absolute favorite past times, her parents always told her about how she slept through the night her first night home from the hospital. It was a point of pride for her that she was just so good at doing absolutely nothing, and for hours on end. As a child she had fantasized about missing an entire day due to sleep, going 24 hours without even waking up. Though she never accomplished the feat it was still on her bucket list, or at least stay in bed for a whole day. She knew it probably wasn’t gonna happen because every time she wanted to laze in bed all day she was starving by the afternoon and everyone would just tell her to stop being lazy and get her own food. Every morning was war between her two great loves, not doing anything and not starving to death. Eventually gluttony would always overtake sloth it was only a matter of when. Granted when this fantasy was formulated she expected to have a live chef or maid or something at this point. She could sometimes guilt her brother into bringing her a poptart or something if he was around but his delivery service had a hard shut down at around 2pm when she “needed to stop wasting her life in bed” according to him. For now she could only dream of staying in bed all day, both figuratively and literally. It probably said a lot her goals and values that she dreamt of being in bed.
It was around 11 o’clock when Liz’s mom gently nudged Maddie awake and said to her,
“Hunny? I’m makin’ some biscuits and gravy for breakfast you want any?” Even only have conscious Maddie recognized the sing-song drawl almost immediately. Taking a moment to clear some phlegm from her throat she responded with what she thought would be enthusiasm coming out as more of hoarse groan,
“Yeah sure that sounds great.”
“Good to hear sugar plum.” She walked off back to the kitchen to prepare the aforementioned meal. She looked a lot like her daughter, it was probably more the other way around, she had long blonde hair ending in curls around her shoulders, she was one the heavier side carrying it almost entirely around her waist especially her rump, which her mom jeans showed off well. Her face had the wrinkles of someone constantly smiling and the slightest set of jowls flanking her chin. She usually wore an almost excessive amount of makeup but usually fell on right side of tasteful. She sometimes wore a stereotypical set of mom glasses but they were absent at the moment. Maddie could hear the shower running and figured Liz must be in there figuring she should get in after her before breakfast was ready. She squirmed into a sitting position and rocked back and got to her feet. She collected her clothes from last night from the heap they were sitting in and carried them into Lizzie’s room. She put her clothes in the hamper with Liz’s even though she had worn them for all of three hours. She heard the shower turn off as she was searching what she would wear from her designated drawer. After making her selection and closing the drawer with her hip she saw Liz standing in the doorway in her towel and herself in her underwear. Liz broke the awkward silence before it started by asking,
“What do you want to do for breakfast?”
“Your mom is making her biscuits and gravy.”
“Yeah but what about breakfast after that?”
“We’ll figure something out.” She shuffled past her wrapped friend and entered the bathroom. Turning on the hot water, stripping down and stepping behind the curtain she could only think to herself “another day in the life of Madeline McFadas.”