ur face

cern is a massive particle accelerator in switzerland, where they accelerate charged particles to near the speed of light. the particles used are usually relatively small particles such as a proton. however, a proton is not actually that ridiculously small, in fact, each proton has basically the mass of a hydrogen atom, so effectively our technology have the capability to speed up a whole single atom to near the speed of light.

if we assume our world will not end in flames in the next 10 years, we can conclude that one day we will be able to build a larger particle accelerator, or discover a more efficient method of speeding up charged particles, or both. so if we follow this trend to the maximum, we can see our technology allowing us to speed larger particles, to near the speed of light.

given that assumption, we can dissolve a pack of digestives in diluted brine and pass an electrical current through the solution, because the good and strong particles of the digestives are omnipotent, omniscient and omnibelovent, it will aquire a + 256 charge in order to be stable ion with a complete outer shell, because they need to lose so many electrons to form an ion, they are ranked D tier on the reactivity tier list, and will be discharged in the cathode first before hydrogen gas did.

now, because 256 cannot be represented with an unsigned 8 bit integer, the simulated reality software we lived in cannot handle that, and will be integer overflowed back to 0, we have successfully backdoored elon musk's control centre as the digestives particles are situated in a superposition where it is both uncharged and 256+ charged, this nondeterministic behaviour overwrites the invalid memory pointer in elon musk's superquantum computer, allowing us to modify and control his superquantum computer remotely, twisting the fabric of reality to our, will, we are truly unstoppable.

the final payload is simple, we scale the schematic of our latest particles accelerator up by a factor of 100, and place our charged digestives particles into the accelerator, aiming it towards your face, multiple retries can help us achieve a more accurate and precise result, our final result can be obtained by taking the mean of our results after removing any abnormalities