Precure AAA Into the MMORPG

Alopex (GM): also, 2 FP for Ran (when she gets here) for... being Ran too much, 1 to Eiko and Sophia for enabling her, and hell with it, 1 to Ishigami for whatever pressing moneybusiness had her leave those goofuses in charge of saving the world

Alopex (GM): Ready to open your hearts and become magical girls?
Eiko: ACTIVATING OPENHEART.EXE
Ran: It can't go any worse than last time!
Nodoka: Soon, soon the darkness will claim you! ALL OF YOU! NYahahahahahahah!
Eiko: Nodoka-chan you should try starting with 'fu' instead of 'nya' it might make you sound cooler \o/
Sophia: Ready to open my heart and be awesome, even if I'm not a magical girl!
Nodoka: No, no, I'll use that when I run the vampire plot I've got in tow. Oops. Spoilers~
Ishigami: we've a wealth of heart right here, yes.
Alopex (GM): Speaking of which, would you like to handwave things and stick Ishigami with the rest of the gang?
Eiko: I vote yes!
we're about to log into a video game and perform an exorcism
Sophia: (She arrives too late to do anything about the stupidity that already happened, but not to help out?)
Ishigami: (sure, I'm up for that!)
(let me take a bit of time to gather up what's going on)
Eiko: (We broke into a building)
(And miraculously did not go to prison)
Sophia: If anyone asks Sophia what she's doing here with the Precure (since she's not a Precure), she's going to declare herself the MMORPG expert!
Alopex (GM): (Ran put a programmer in a headlock and made him cry)
Ran: (Also I believe she proposed to him)
Eiko: (It went downhill from there)
Nodoka overestimated the party's intelligence massively.
Eiko: (As if that's hard to do)

Alopex (GM): The Wreckcraft login screen seems to be stalling and is most definitely fizzling over in blue static.
Cure Pitch: "Huh?"
Alopex (GM): =^-^= SCANNING SCANNING SCANNING
=^-^= bio-magical signature acquired
Ran: "What the $#@# does that mean?"
Sophia: "Well, it's something she did, that's for sure."
Cure Pitch: "Bio-magical? Is that us?"
Alopex (GM): Your Festikits are displaying a similar outbreak of blue sparkles.
Ran: "Yo, geeks! Are any of you magic?"
Alopex (GM): =^-^= initializing data translation
All of you are starting to look increasingly sparkled up as well.
Cure Pitch: "Eeeeh?!"
Ran: "Someone help! We're turning into vampires!!!"
Sophia: "What're vamp--oh, those things."
Ishigami: "It's a little too much, don't you think..? This kind of special effect."
Alopex (GM): And then...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0AgtAl4QYsw
You find yourselves in a brightly lit city of a respectable polygon count. It is populated by an assortment of young people of various species, most of whom are wearing ridiculous outfits.
Cure Pitch: "What!"
"Where!"
Sophia: "We sure are in a MMORPG."
Cure Pitch: "OH"
Alopex (GM): Nobody seems fazed by the small group of superheroines popping into their midst.
Ran: "Oh, did they have a lot of those back in ancient Rome?"
Nodoka would facepalm here
Sophia: "Greece. Rome's after my time. And our absent friend taught me about them, okay?"
Cure Pitch: "Okay, Agony! Show yourself!"
Machinae: You hear a weird 'ding', and then hear.. "Oh, why would I do that?"
Ran: "Why did we think this was a good idea again?"
Cure Pitch: "Nodoka!"
Sophia: "Heyas, buddy!"
Machinae: "You have to stop me, right? And to be fair, I have a special monster waiting for you somewhere in this very zone... But, see, I've got a better weapon for crushing you, too."
Ran: "Guys, I saw a movie about this once."
Machinae: "Look around you. Tens of thousands of players just on this server alone. None would suspect you're actually in the game."
Ran: "If we die in the game, we die in REAL LIFE."
Machinae: "... Not what i was going for."
"See, here's the thing. If I were to, say, hack the GM announcements to announce that you were rare spawns with unique gear..."
Sophia: "Hey, Noochan, I understand why you're doing this. Seriously, I do. I've been there, after all."
Machinae: "Well, your adoring fans would suddenly become the worst enemy you could imagine.
Cure Pitch: "I won't let you use other people like that!"
Sophia: "But I've been thinking about it, and I have a better idea!"
Cure Pitch: "By the way, what's a rare spawn?"
Ran: "Bring it! We can crush all these mofos!"
"WHICH ONE OF YOU NERDS WILL FACE THE BOAR"
Machinae: "Oh?
Sophia: "A rare spawn's a really good opponent to vanquish because you get awesome stuff."
Machinae: "Perhaps you'll get to tell me about it in person. Oh, a hint. Right now, you should be able to handle anything in this game. The Crystal Tower is where I'm at. Oh, and it's instanced, so it'll also be a place where you're safe from PvP."
"That's awfully convenient given..."
Cure Pitch: "Instanced... PvP..."
Cure Pitch squints.
Ran: "PvP!? You're gonna drug us!?"
Ishigami: "Sorry to bother, Nodoka, but, uh."
"Terminology. Could you mind it a little..?"
Machinae: In front of everyone's eyes you see a message. "Rare Spawns based on the Pretty Cure may have appeared in game! They might even drop rare loot!"
Sophia: "PvP is when players fight each other! It's really fun!"
Cure Pitch: "Basically, we need to get to the Crystal Tower, right?"
Machinae: "It means you get to fight the other players - don't worry, it won't do more than anger them in real life - or run like hell.
"Oh, and the best part is, I'm not even burning any magic on this. Their own player instincts will do the job plenty well!"
"Good luck~"
Ran: "I'm seeing literally no reason why we shouldn't just punch every nerd."
Cure Pitch: "Beast, no! We shouldn't fight them!"
Machinae: "They'd outnumber you, you know. Dunno how long you can hold out."
Sophia: "It'll just waste time. Let's go!"
Ran: "This guy's name is Yolo Swaggins! HE DESERVES DEATH!"
Cure Pitch: "These people have done no wrong, so it would be cruel for them to lose the characters they put so much hard work into!"
Ishigami: "Sophia's right. Our main target is that tower Nodoka mentioned. And wahtever monster inside.."
Sophia: "Oh, don't worry!"
Machinae: "... They don't permadie or anything. It's just a gold penalty for repairing their stuff..."
Sophia: "They don't lose their character!"
Cure Pitch: "Oh."
"Okay, let's punch our way to the tower!"
Sophia: "Just some XP! Which they can get back."
"Oh, or gold. Yeah. Forgot this game's different."
Machinae: "Ta~"
#Yolo$waggins: A little man decked in a fancy hat and like eighteen different weapons comes barreling up the fantasy street, leading a large nerdswarm behind him.
Cure Pitch: "THAT'S WAY TOO MANY"
Sophia: "I'll hold them off!"
Cure Pitch: "No! We're all getting to that tower together!"
"...by the way where is it"
Ran: "Hang on, I've got an idea."
Machinae: Maybe it's the giant crystal tower visible from the distance? Seems logical.
Ran: To the esteemed Mr. $waggins and his entourage: "HEY, YOU DORKS!"
"If you don't turn tail and start running, I'm gonna hunt all of you down in real life and administer the Ultra Wedgie!"
"The Nega-Swirlie! The Wet Willy of Legend! Every horror you can imagine is coming straight for you, courtesy of THE BOAR!"
#Yolo$waggins: Roll Provoke!
Ishigami: "She'd do it too. It's your online or offline posteriors to worry about."
Machinae: (DM NOTICE) "Enjoy the realistic threats provided by the Pretty Cure rare spawns!"
Ran: "Ghhkt-!"
A moderately significant selection of the nerdpack pulls back. The rest keep on charging.
Ran: "I'm gonna give *so many wedgies* when this is over..."
Cure Pitch: "Hurry, let's get to that tower!"
Machinae: "Are you seriously going to fly to Korea for that?"
Ran: "I MIGHT"
Cure Pitch: "BEAST"
"WE HAVE TO GO TO THE TOWER"
Ran: "Fine, fine. Let's go!"
Cure Pitch breaks into a dash towards the Crystal Tower Zone!
Sophia: "I admire your fierce spirit, but sometimes we've got to be mission focused!"
Ran: "I know what I'm doing!"
Cure Beast follows after Pitch!
Sophia uses her MMORPG knowledge to identity the DPSers. They're the most trouble for this.
#Yolo$waggins: The pair with the plus-size staves are Boom Witches - their explosive magic is high-damage and targets areas. Fortunately, it takes them a while to charge an attack and they're pretty squishy in melee.
Incidentally, between you and the far-off crystal tower are a number of options.
There's a path over the pixelated mountains to your left, a wide forest to your right, and dead ahead is a structure labeled SMACKMAN'S LABYRINTH over the entrance in comic sans.
Sophia: "Okay, the two with the big staves! Their attacks're slow but really hurt and will hit us all! Let's take them out" Sophia says, trying not to say it loudly enough for the mob to hear.
Cure Beast: Ran's vote goes towards Labyrinth, obviously.
Cure Fortune: Is nobody up for the forest..?
(why comic sans, though)
Cure Pitch: "We'll only fight them if we need to! Let's lose them in that labyrinth!"
Cure Fortune: "The shortest distance isn't always the easiest... usually, it's never. But, fine!"
Sophia: "What? We don't have string!"
"But alright!"
Cure Pitch: "Who needs string? We have our bonds of friendship!"
TO THE LABYRINTH
#Yolo$waggins: Slow pan across the labyrinth, as this is customary when entering a dungeon for the first time.
The lighting is bad, the ground is covered in a soft fog, and many of the inner walls have been knocked down, revealing the occasional honeycomb of pits and ledges.
You can hear heavy footsteps in the distance.
Cure Fortune: "And this... this is an improvement from the horde outside?"
Cure Pitch: "All right, let's find our way by instinct!"
Sophia: "Don't worry! The mobs here'll be designed for a party size like ours!"
"It's better than being ganged up on like that."
Cure Pitch: "I've got a feeling that the exit is... that way!"
Cure Fortune: "As long as she wasn't expecting this!"
Sophia: "Too bad I can't just bust through walls anymore." Sophis gives a wall a test thump as she runs by.
Cure Beast: "Lemmee at 'em! I'll punch the crap out of anything that gets in our way!"
(The walls are made of pretty sturdy slabs of code, alas.)
#Yolo$waggins: The footprints would be too faint to notice via computer screen, but being right up there in person, you do notice that some paths are more heavily trod than others. From where you are now, there's one noticeably continuous route.
Cure Pitch: Follow that route!
Cure Beast: Looks like that's our path!
Cure Fortune: run run run!
[Fortune doesn't roll particularly high on Athletics.]
Sophia just picks up and carries the Fortune lagging behind!
Cure Fortune: (this isn't the first time she's being carried and it won't be the last)
Fortune only looks surprised. She looks up at Sophia, kinda blushing.
Please don't let this be a regular thing.
it's uncomfortable.
Cure Pitch: Think of the fanfics, Fortune. Very profitable.
Cure Fortune: somethings aren't worth the 50 shades-esque movie deal
#Yolo$waggins: Sophia's interception saves Fortune from being separated from the team by the huge stompy critter who lunges into the corridor.
Cure Pitch: "Is this Nodoka's monster...?"
Sophia: (...Has Sophia gotten ship bait with every other PC now?)
Cure Pitch: (Yes)
Sophia: (I'm not even trying!)
Cure Pitch: (Eiko/Sophia has had the most screentime)
#Yolo$waggins: Meanwhile, the team's athletic prowess has the monster between them and Team $waggins rather than them caught between the two.
Cure Beast: (Sophia/Ran hasn't happened yet, but there's plenty of UST there)
Cure Pitch: "That oughta slow them down!"
#Yolo$waggins: (In modern parlance, tsun tsun.)
Sophia: "Likely it's just a regular maze mob! It's behind us so let's keep running!"
Cure Pitch: "We're almost there!" Right?
Cure Fortune: "Depends if we can outrun everything behind us..!"
#Yolo$waggins: The monster and the swagteam enter combat behind you.
Cure Beast: "Well, that was easy!"
#Yolo$waggins: The path eventually opens out into a large chamber. There's a doorframe on the other side, a big treasure chest in the middle, and a really BIG stompy monster pacing around the perimeter.
It looks a little like its smaller brethren, but instead of many little legs, it has two big muscular arms that it's handwalking around on.
Cure Pitch: "Forget the treasure! We'll go around it!"
Cure Fortune: Fortune has to pause.
"... well, it IS just pixels.."
Sophia: "B-but loot!" Sophia's already got MMORPG instincts drilled into her.
Cure Fortune: "Pixels! They're only pixels!"
Cure Fortune: "And... would you mind terribly letting go of me?"
Cure Pitch: "We're not even really playing the game!"
"We can come back and get it for real later!"
Sophia: "Oh, yeah, it's not like I'm a proper character in this game."
Sophia doesn't slow down!
[Fortune doesn't roll particularly high on her Athletics roll again.]
Sophia picks up Fortune again after having set her down!
Cure Beast: "Fortune, quit flirting with the enemy!"
Sophia: "Huh what?"
Cure Fortune: "I-it's not my fault people are compelled to carry me!"
She's hoping this doesn't become a habit.
Sophia: "Then become faster!" But Sophia's tone is more cheerful than criticizing.
Alopex (GM): You reach the other end of the labyrinth with no further trouble worth speaking of, and exit the maze into the mean, neon streets of Cyber Athens.
Crystal Tower awaits on the outskirts of the city.
Cure Pitch: "You know, this game seems pretty cool."
Cure Beast: "Nodoka made all this?"
Machinae: "Hell no. I told you, all I did was magic the advertising."
Machinae is a distant voice, out of sight.
Machinae: "Seriously, this game's costed about two billion yen to develop so far and it's not even 100% complete!
Cure Pitch: "Then don't let all that hard work be used for evil!"
Machinae: "Heh... You haven't figured out what I'm doing yet, have you?"
Cure Pitch: "Why don't you just tell us?"
Machinae: "It'll be so much more fun to tell you in person."
Cure Fortune: "But not enough fun to get down here yourself."
Cure Pitch: "...Let's keep going.
Sophia: "Well, when we meet up for proper there're things I want to say to you, Noochan!"
Sophia keeps running, though she does set Fortune down at least.
Machinae: "We'll see, Spelter. You've gotta get that far, first~"
Cure Beast: Following!
Cure Pitch: Running!
Cure Fortune: tally ho!
Alopex (GM): At the foot of Crystal Tower's doors, a group of PCs turn to witness and surround the Precure
"hey! it's that new mob"
Cure Pitch: "You have to believe me, we're not mobs!"
Alopex (GM): "we're specced 4 cc drops worth it tho?"
Cure Pitch: "We're the real Precure!"
Alopex (GM): "Dibs on Beast loot!"
Cure Beast: "Dibs on kicking your $#$@ing %$^!"
Sophia: "Hey, did you hear? There's a superultra rare mob inside the tower!"
Alopex (GM): "Who's the blonde?"
Sophia takes advantage of not being a Precure.
[Sophia rolls well to fool them.]
Sophia: (Man, now that I'm no longer a villain, the dice love me.)
Cure Fortune: (lady luck is on justice's side, you see)
Cure Beast: heheh
PrettypunkPineapple: "Yeah doesn't CChimera spawn in Silver Mode like 2% chance"
"I've never seen her outfit before - I bet she knows her rare drops!"
The PC swarm chats among themselves in this vein for some time.
Alopex (GM): At last, they head into the tower.
Cure Pitch: "...So are they gonna fight Nodoka's monster now?"
Machinae: "Nope. Instanced."
"The ones you care about are only inside for you."
Cure Pitch: "Okay, let's go."
Sophia: "Yeah, we're going into a different tower than them!"
Cure Beast: Onward!
Machinae: "Good trick, though. I guess maybe I should've magicked them up a bit..."
Sophia: "Hey, don't fault yourself. Greed like that's easy to take advantage of." Sophia says with the authority of an experienced ex-Agony.
Machinae: "Feh... Hurry on upstairs."
Sophia: "Of course, fighting for heroic causes's more awesome!"
Sophia does so.
Cure Pitch: As does Pitch!
Machinae: "Three Pretty Cure and one straggler. Four opponents... So I figured four customized minions seems about right."
Cure Pitch: "There's not just one monster?!"
Machinae: "Consider what I've summoned up before. Do you really think I'm holding back? I intend to crush you, and this is the arena where I will see it happen."
Cure Fortune: "She could've made eight, but I'm sure there's a special reason why not."
"But then again, I have absolutely no idea what making monsters is like."
Cure Beast: "Hmph. A bunch of code? That's the best you can do?"
Sophia: "I could tell you!"
Cure Beast: "Sooner or later, Nodoka, you're gonna have to face me for real!"
Cure Fortune: "well, it WOULD save up on labor costs soon. But later."
Machinae: "Four is enough for four opponents to be a fair fight... And for a fifth to have the advantage."
Sophia: "See, you take negative emotions and stuff them into what you want to monster up... I guess it's something you do by feel! Well, not that I do that anymore."
Cure Beast: "Suuure."
Machinae: From above, you hear footsteps, as Machinae - masked and costumed - starts down the stairs, hands outstretched. "Welcome, Pretty Cure... And guest."
Cure Pitch: "Nodoka..."
Cure Fortune: "Just tell me one thing."
"Is this where you intend to end it all?"
"In a world of pixels and code? It's a world where you clearly have the advantage."
Machinae: "Naturally. I have prepared the perfect arena for beating the lot of you, and I intend to see it through."
Cure Pitch: "Does that mean that you won't run away, no mater what?"
Sophia: "Hey, Noochan, want to hear my idea now?"
Machinae: "You're not winning, so what does it matter?" Machinae seems to turn towards Sophia. "You seem confident, Spelter. You should know better."
Sophia: "I've always been told overconfidence was one of my weaknesses."
Cure Fortune: "That wasn't a 'yes'." In reference to Machinae's response to Pitch's question. She gives a small smile at the vague answer.
Cure Pitch: "Then let's bet everything on this battle!"
"If you win, I'll quit being a Pretty Cure."
"And if we win..."
"Will you come back to school?"
Machinae: "Agony will have you... And then, together, we'll attain victory."
Cure Beast: "A victory through Agony would be worse than a loss!"
"I'd rather let Apathy devour everything than let you jerks have your way!"
Machinae: "You'd abandon protecting the world so casually for your ideals? And here I thought you were hard enough that you'd be useful."
Cure Pitch: "I'm not abandoning anything."
Smile.
"Because we're gonna win."
Sophia: "You haven't faced Apathy, Beast, so you don't know what it's like."
"But!"
"We can do better than Agony's way!"
"It's a painful way to live. And I want to free my family from it. And you too, Noochan."
Cure Fortune: "It's really something when you get down to it. Most of us are actually smiling. Give us a big threat and they'd still smile. If your Agony can do that, well, step right up.
It's time for one of us to cash in."
Cure Beast: "Enough talking! Let's settle this the only way that matters."
"Bring it on, Nodoka!"
Machinae: "I was wondering when you'd say that."
Machinae raises a hand. "COME, MY MINIONS, AND BEAT THEM DOWN NICE AND HARD!"

Cure Beast: ("I, NODOKA, WILL KNOCK YOU ALL DOWN")
Cure Fortune: pfff

Alopex (GM): (for the record, their names are Cyber Circe, Cyber Cerberus, Cyber Cyclops, and Cyber Siren)
Cure Beast: ooh nice
Alopex (GM): (they spring from the feelings of frustration and betrayal Nodoka's cooked up from that awful awful boss rush downstairs)