was born, raised and educated in Michigan to an Iranian father and an Egyptian mother. I was never close to my father and things took a turn for worse when he left for Iran in 2007.

I started wearing a Hijab after I got my first period, not out of pride, but out of illusory choice. Even in a segregated neighborhood like Hamtramck, it was always a reminder that I’m an outsider in the United States of America.

In 2015, I expressed my desire to move to New York City to seek employment and to live independently from my religious family. My brothers threatened to disown me and I didn’t want to lose contact with my crippling mother so I backed out. Two months later, I got tricked into going to Egypt for a “vacation,” and ended up being stuck there for a year. (For the sake of my mental health, I prefer not to recount what happened in Egypt while I was captive in my grandmother’s house.) Instead of killing myself, I decided to escape and cut off contact from my family. You can say I got a second lease of life when one of my university friends helped me with enough money to come back to the US.

I had to make the hard choice between my well-being and the consequences that my family would face because of my actions. Leaving everything behind and starting fresh wasn’t an easy thing to do. With the help of long-term contacts and a network of supporters, I was able to find shelter, food, transportation, and even employment until I was ready to be on my own.

I didn’t want to escape one horrible situation for another. So once I moved to Buffalo, I got a job as a translator and started living the liberal way of life. It was my path to true happiness, empowerment, and success.

TODAY

Two years ago, at a book club for bookworms and aspiring activists, I met and fell in Ben. Thirty-three-year-old Ben shared my viewpoints and opinions on current events and topical issues. Talking to Ben was so easy, I never wanted to stop. He was everything I was looking for all my life. But the one thing that started getting in the way was his leanings towards my culture & lineage.

Ben believes I’m shunning my heritage. He says it comes from my fear of feeling like an outsider because of its negative image by association. To Ben, wearing a hijab is a cultural expression and should be worn with pride and as a badge of honor. In his eyes, it’s normal and beautiful and that I shouldn’t run away from who I am.

I’ve explained to him that Islam doesn’t require women to wear the hijab. It’s universally agreed that Muslim men and women should dress modestly – but nowhere in the Quran is the word ‘burqa’ or ‘hijab’ mentioned.

I asked him if he’d make our daughter wear a hijab to school and he cut me off saying I’m being unreasonable.

Ben is a pro-feminist and believes in giving women the full range of freedoms that men have historically been enjoying. I believe he’s just passively accepting my religion and its practices. And I can’t help but feel that his views on hijab come from the desperation of wanting to show his acceptance who I am.

Isn’t ‘individual choice’ at the very core of Western Civilization? It’s my right to voluntarily choose what I want to wear. It’s plain and simple. If Ben truly loves me, he should