Alastor talk to Noir-Anon on the Radio

from /hhg/ - Hazbin Hotel #454
----
>The music suddenly fades in intensity
>The volume knob remains untouched, its the signal itself weakening
>Or rather, being drowned out by a stronger signal
>The radio hums irritably until the poshly-accented voice starts to come through clearly
>Pirate broadcast

>"Goooood morning New Orleans~"
>"Are we sitting comfortably~?"
>"I do hope so~"

>"This is The Wendigo speaking."

>"Today I have a news address for all of you."
>"This past night, I took three more of you to see the afterlife early."
>"I had only intended to take one."
>"He reminded me too much of Daddy Dearest."
>"Not in his personality of course."
>"Just in the look of him and the sound of his voice."
>"Upset me quite terribly."
>"He actually seemed a rather soft man. He hardly put up any fight. He was quite frightened."
>"His friends however were of sterner stuff."
>"They made quite a fuss when they saw what I had done, and I had to do away with them as well."
>"They were much more sporting fellows. Had an excellent fight with the both of them."
>"But of course, I found they were rather stringy when it was all done."
>"Daddy Dearest was much more tender~"
>"Oh no, that wasn't Daddy."
>"He just looked like him..."
>"I hope you'll forgive me folks, I'm airing without a script here."
>"This is all off the cuff."
>"Hahahahaha~"
-
>"Now, where was I?"
>"Ah yes~"
>"Detective, if you're listening to this"
>"And I know you are"
>"The only time you don't have your ear to the ground is when you have your eye to the keyhole."
>"For your convenience, I left the bodies in the canal three streets up from the cafe."

>"You know the one."

>"A block over from your apartment."

>"The one where you take your coffee in the morning, and sit to read the paper in the evening before you go home."

>"Go ahead and stop in before you head over, I put a few dollars in on your tab."
>"Get yourself something to keep you full while you work."
>"I suspect you'll be there a while."
>"I put them right on the banks, they should be easy enough to cart out, but they're all in rather rough shape."
>"I was sure to keep their personal effects close at hand though~"
>"I hope that makes identifying them easier."
>"Let me know when the funerals are, and I'll send along some flowers~"

>"Oh, and Detective."

>"I do hope you'll catch me soon."
-
>"I know I'm a bad man, Detective"
>"I know Mother Dearest would be appalled at what I've become"

>"If only she were still with us."

>"If only Daddy hadn't sent her to see Granny and Grandad so soon."

>"But I'm afraid I'm simply too prideful"
>"And too hungry"
>"To just walk into the station and let you cuff me"

>"You're going to have to stop me the hard way, Detective."

>"For goodness' sake, please stop me."

>"By any means you deem necessary."

>"I'm a menace to civil society, and it's your job to defend it."
>"Get to work."
>"Well then, that's all I had to say~"
>"Have a lovely rest of your day folks~"
>"I now return you to your regularly scheduled programming~"
>"This is your friend, The Wendigo, signing off~"

>"Good luck, Detective."
-
>You groan and rest your head in your hands
>Another day, another murder
>Another body laid at your feet
>Another mystery you can't solve
>Another cavalcade of reporters and 'concerned citizens' asking questions you can't answer

>Just another day on the job

-end-