I really feel like I'm inspired by you to find myself in the middle of all of this pride confusion. I've always felt very confused about my own gender and sexuality, first identifying as a bisexual female and slowly finding it harder and harder to hold any attraction to males. As time passed I found myself growing more comfortable dressing as a guy. But I get confused. Some days I wake up and want to dress like a girl, and sometimes I want nothing more than to be a guy. Once in high school I even disguised myself as best I could (though no-one was fooled). I look at your transformation and I think that a step like this for me is huge and perhaps even unnecessary, but there are days when I have dysphoria in my entire body... my hair, my mouth, my breasts, my genitals. Although I don't always have it. I ask myself if I've been brainwashed into a cis* way of thinking, but I can never seem to answer my own question. For now I guess "genderfluid" (or bigender?) would be my go-to term, yet I hardly ever feel the "fluid" part. What would I be like as a guy? Would I enjoy it so much I never wanted to go back? Would I finally find myself? I would crossdress as an experiment but I'm too scared to even cut my hair! My mother has started crossdressing and identifying as "androgenous" recently too, and it just muddles everything. I guess I've always been a mutable personality cut off from my own sense of self and influenced by others. Even you confessing that you found yourself attractive as a female (it's true, I do!) makes me think about this more seriously. Maybe I just care about my appearance in general and it's misguided because I think I'm a girl right now. Ugh, I don't know. I guess I just wish everything wasn't so confusing and gray-shaded.