https://8ch.net/monster/res/378675.html#395391
be me
one of the last chuckle fucks whose avoided getting raped in my class
reason why me and a handful of other guys chose to avoid pelvic matrimony was out of principle
and the scholarships that have been made for virgins is starting to stockpile some sweet college dough due to lack of virgins recently
monsters obviously take this as an insult or challenge instead
so much so, they've even sent fake letters to us saying we were eligible
only Phil was dumb enough to fill out the application inside without reading it first
danuki'd.jew
but it hasn't stopped there
recently, some cupid has been shooting these arrows from the roof tops
much faster than the usual cupid love arrows
also filled with a lot of demonic energy
any monster hit will immediately jump on the male who was also hit
have the luxury of almost being one of those guys
as I'm getting ready to leave for the day I feel the infamous arrows knock the wind out of me
hear a girl scream and something like glass break immediately after
my friends help guide me home while I keep my eyes shut to play it safe
kept feeling like I was being watched and followed
had my friends keep an extra eye out just in case
got home later than usual that day
still can't shake that feeling
this second part is told from a female perspective, just in case you're confused
be me
been testing a new kind of love arrow
well, more like a love bolt since it's on a crossbow but who cares?
took me, a gremlin, and a cupid a long time to perfect
now we are firing the first bolt out of the testing phase
imbued them with my own demonic energy just in case
but the cupid in the group wants one of her friends be the first to fire the new arrows and snag her a husband
fine
the crossbow, aptly dubbed "the matchmaker", fires a bolt every second up to 10 bolts
but for this, we only loaded 2
she takes aim and fires
oof, knocked the wind out of one cutie
as we were confirming the target being hit, a teacher busted down the door which scared the cupid with the matchmaker
"Hey! What're you kids doing up here!?"
<"KYAAA!"
in her panicked state, she quickly drops the matchmaker
the second it hit the ground, it misfires and breaks the specially designed telescopic sight
as I'm flying away, my wing keeps bumping something
of course it's the misfired bolt
as I'm looking for a place to dump the evidence, my eye catches the previous target
Ba-DUM
did I mention the target was cute?
I'm extra glad we had designed the bolt
the demonic energy isn't to make them horny, it's so the monster target can find their new husband
just follow the single man that has the same energy your bolt has; also helps that the bolt has a tracking rune
in this case, I just have to follow my own energy
But that will have to wait, gotta get out of here
Couple hours later
cannot get that guy off my mind
cannot even go to sleep
try reading a random book off my shelf to see if that helps
picked out last year's yearbook
maybe reconnecting with some old friends will ease my mind
take out my phone as I flip to my class last year
see the picture of the guy from earlier
"Y. Anon"
spend almost the entire night just entranced by his picture
at around 1 in the morning, decide to go find him
followed the energy of the rune along with my own demonic energy
find his house and peek into the window where the energies most potent
he is sleeping
would sneak in, but don't have the heart to disturb his sleep so I stick with watching
the way his face is so peaceful
how his chest raises and lowers with his breathing
even his little snores
I'm so glad my new husband is so cute
be me
have been friends with /fit/ bro for years
me, him, and other friends are swimming in a lake during spring break
everyone is having a great time, everything is peaceful
until I hear /fit/ bro grunt
turn to him and see he's being dragged to the water by some hairy appendage
run to save /fit/ bro, but I'm too late as he's quickly pulled under the waters' surface
everyone stares in horror or shock at what we thought was some lake monster devouring our friend until he floats back up to the surface
now has the fluffiest life vest clinging to him like a kid holds onto a toy
turns out a bunyip was swimming in the lake way before we showed up
was way too shy to make her presence known
this is until she saw /fit/ bro
after introductions, she refuses to let him go more than a couple feet away
her tail wrapped around at least some part of his body at all times
everyone, including /fit/ bro, shrugs it off as typical lamia clingy behavior and that she'll learn to control it
Weeks later
have not heard from /fit/ bro for a while
thought it was just some honeymoon phase until I brought it up with my sister
<"that's a little weird, even for lamia type mamono"
decide to heed her warning and visit /fit/ bro to check up on him
ring his doorbell
no response
hell, I didn't even hear it go off
decide to knock instead
after waiting for 5 or so minutes, I hear a shuffling behind the door
"/fit/ bro? Is that you? Are ya okay, man? Its been weeks"
he slowly opens the door, somewhat disheveled
he is still /fit/, but definitely lost some muscle mass from not being able to go to the gym
turns out his new bunyip gf is so paranoid about another monster taking him away from her
so much so, she placed a couple of energy detection runes at the doors and window and did most of the cleaning and house care so no devil bugs sneak in
reason why I haven't been blown across the street is that I don't have any demonic energy on/in me
I try to explain that this is a toxic relationship, but /fit/ bro insists she's a regular girl who just has some self-esteem issues that they've been working on
she wouldn't even let him answer the door during the first week
decide to trust him and play a little catch up as well
after a couple hours of talking, /fit/ bro has an idea that might help his girlfriend realize that nobody will take an already claimed man
as he is telling me the plan, I can't help but grin so much, a Cheshire would be jealous
stake out /fit/ bro's house until I see his girlfriend leave to get to her job
after about 5 minutes, head to the front door and knock 5 times, loudly
almost immediately, /fit/ bro lets me inside
phase 1: we do any chores that need to be done inside the house
afterward, we set up his bedroom with an assortment of monster novelties
manticore spines, potions that increase semen and sperm production, LOTS of water, etc.
phase 2: have /fit/ bro wear these jeans that make him look like one of those models you see in the mall, of course going commando underneath
have the pants sag a little, even with a belt, to add effect
also give him a thin tank top that is essentially form-fitting
after a couple minutes of making sure nothing is gonna fall out, /fit/ bro set out to do lawn work
just trimming some hedges, some minor repairs to his fence, stuff that would make him work up a sweat
sure enough, some monsters that are passing by stop and stare
married monsters look for a second before shaking their head and moving along
single monsters practically set up bleachers to watch
none of them dare make any moves other than an occasional whistle
well, none except some bicorns I had to shoo away with a shovel
other than that, my scent also kept the more orderly monsters focused on me if they got a little to hot and heavy
just sprayed them with the hose
bros before mamonos
after a couple hours of this, /fit/ bro's girlfriend is back from her job
phase 3: I quickly go grab some ice tea that was made in phase 1 while the "audience" begins to slowly dissipate
make it back in time and place the glass in her hands as she stands there watching /fit/ bro hose himself off after he mowed the lawn
/fit/ bro notices his girlfriend standing there with the tea
"Awww! You shouldn't have, my little fluffyip!"
I do my best not to chuckle as I make my exit so /fit/ bro can bring it home
/fit/ bro chugs the tea then goes in for an overly loud romantic kiss in front of the 2 or 3 monsters still watching
he then picks up his girlfriend and runs inside
wish the bastard godspeed as I tell the everyone else that the show is over
start walking back home when I bump into someone
look up and see its a jinko that was in the crowd
<"I think I might need some lawn care myself~"
the way she is eyeing me up tells me she doesn't mean her actual lawn
mfw I realize me and /fit/ bro essentially created a new roleplay fantasy for monsters
mfw the jinko makes me water her garden bed
