FUNtoon Haikus

haiku {

    const haikus = [
     '"a month of practice / earns no sub-hour / lifetime Metroid love" -dekynff',
     '"summer query time / people who play sitting down / what even is that" -dekynff',
     '"she hunts what bounty / through forgotten waters / one hundred items" -dekynff',
     '"facing great evil / the elegant princess throws / seasonal veggies" -dekynff',
     '"wither springball; yet / as summer fades to autumn / cannot skip spazer" -dekynff',
     '"Screen For Be Right Back / Crusty Did Not Give Haiku / Placeholder Haiku" -JustNotAFox',
     'Crateria "her gunship lands cold / she armored hero heads west / lonesome she will fight."',
     '(dream) "Thunder as you wake, / weather as I fall asleep / morning ritual."',
     '(dream) "The stars align and / everything else is a lie / come waning crescent."',
     '"the fallen princess / how quickly does she escape / it was all a dream" - dekynff and CrustaceanSeven',
     'Maridia "meet me on main street / green rocked conjuring super / drops, ominous seas."',
     'Tourian "nerves lock at golden / four, the mechanical life / vein awaits encased."',
     'Escape "three minutes, and the / animals are dead. behe / spark to safer space."',
     'Metroid "hatchling, her mission / to save--so sacrificed to / she, the new mother."',
     '(dream) "Two shoremen dance in / the distance, angrily calm / immersed in attack."',
     'Reset "judging by these frames / already lost before kraid, / stress looms imminent."',
     'ifb "to skip saves in a / race against the backdrop of / time loss, entices."',
     '(maybe) "we were never meant / to understand why moons cast / light on their captives."',
     '"spinning Samus and / floating Princess fly through air / nothing can stop them" -InsaneFirebat',
     'Crystal "defensive, lucent / golden girl seeks cannon and / shovel paired with lust."',
     'Steroids "virile dual-wielder / dog earing pages / before downing a mad dog."',
     'wardrinker "sleeps nude in an oxygen / tent that he believes / gives him sexual powers!"',
     '"softly, even as / cleaning up brinstar, sounds of / etecoon laughter" -dekynff',
     '"gt, hundo, wart / C7s joy shared, each year / memorial day" -dekynff',
     '"into nothingness / woe, her mockball power spent / kojakt before kraid" -dekynff',
     '"The pixels deceive / Chip away at my sanity / Crustacean Seven" -Sephynomy',
     '"CrustaceanSeven / Best known for playing upright / She will not reset" -Uphier',
     '"Crustys favorite / The most out of character / Justin Bailey Suit" -GallopingConch',
     '"winter treats for all! / alas, our tasty turnips / prove unloved by Wart!" -dekynff',
     '"if something goes wrong / anything from big to small / pillows and foxes" -hokkaidoubare',
     '"This is a haiku / What is a haiku really? / Haiku is haiku" -Freyguy55',
     '"Haikus can be fun / but sometimes they dont make sense / refrigerator" -stovetop1321',
     '"Kraid is bad for prom / He throws his nails everywhere / his breath smells so bad" -Choccy_Soup',
     '"you always ask me / to provide you with haikus / why not make your own?" -FUNtoon',
     '"Bomb Torizo stands / Again a pixel triumphs / claws strike only air" -EXAKTScience_',
     '"Three super missiles / Part of a balanced breakfast / tasty treats for Kraid" -EXAKTScience_',
     '"Hello there robots / get the hell out of the way / this room friggin sucks" -EXAKTScience_',
     '"exploring the caves / Samus ventures forth boldly / brinstar\'s secrets wait" -jakoliath',
     '"Crusty is damn good / Better than I\'ll ever be / Gonna PB soon" -MasterHodges',
     '"Haikus are a joke / they often sound kinda weird / I prefer Mad Libs" -MasterHodges',
     '"Just for the record / I\'ve won contests with Haikus / Yes, I\'m that damn good" -MasterHodges',
     '"No skin, no halo / Melting must survive til Throne / two HP til dead" -InsaneFirebat',
     '"gloomy darkness looms / ghosts appear as from nothing / a wrecked ship stranded" -jakoliath',
     '"looks like a good meal / my family would approve / take my accolades" -InsaneFirebat and CrustaceanSeven',
     '"can you imagine / what the world would be like if / aniv wrote haikus" -InsaneFirebat',
     '"my eyes are burning / staring at this tv screen / why wont I just blink?" -DarkXoa',
     '"spring sun\'s finally / making rocks worth looking at\, / no electric light" -hokkaidoubare',
     '"haikus are silly / doesn\'t take much to make one / and most of them suck" -MasterHodges',
     '"bullying haikus\? / what\'s this world coming to now? / i swear\, we\'re all screwed." -MasterHodges',
     '"when i start talking / and haikus are all i say / i struggle to stop" -MasterHodges',
     '"speedrunning on twitch / while chatters make up haikus / seems unfair to me" -MasterHodges',
     '"ok i\'m done now. / let\'s focus on a PB. / good luck C7." -MasterHodges',
     '"Crocomire\'s demise / Magma melts away the flesh / Crawls out to greet death" -jakoliath',
     '"norfair autumn day / crocomire\'s such a cutie / obliterated" -hokkaidoubare',
     '"You don\'t like Chicken\? / Chicken is unstoppable. / Who needs a halo?" -InsaneFirebat',
     '"Don\'t cheat the system. / Taw worked realy hard on it. / Ceres is sacred" -InsaneFirebat',
     '"Ceres\, gentle star / A beacon in dark expanse / Former home of dreams" -jakoliath',
     '"haikus are back now? / that\'s just lovely\, isn\'t it? / can\'t wait to start up..." -MasterHodges',
     '"those frogs are real jerks / trying to jack up your run / flatten the mofos" -MasterHodges',
     '"what is that? jello? / and running through spikes too? yikes!! / sick\, evil level..." -MasterHodges',
     '"ok gotta go / more food prep for tomorrow / have fun crusty\, peace!!" -MasterHodges',
     '"still bounty hunting / chasing down the space pirates / speedruns never change" -InsaneFirebat'
     ]

    function getHaiku() {
        output = @haikus[random.randInt(0, len(@haikus)-1)]
        return output
    }
}