Thread 87: Stories 16-30

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>13
"Chitania"
~~~~~~

>...

"...I hate that there's so much snow."

>Yeah, I don't like the snow either.

"...I'm gonna get rid of it."

>MOM NO!

THOOOM!

>....

"...I call that one a thunderclap."

>Way to go, mom. The weather team are going to be ticked.

"...That's what you fucking get for raining on me that day."

>It wasn't even the same guys!

"CLOSE ENOUGH!"

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>Blueblood
"Arana"
'PJ'
[Haymaker]
~~~~~~

There were way, way too many colors.

>This really wasn't necessary.

"We know! But we wanted to anyway!"

'Correction, she wanted to, I was engrossed in 'supervising'.'

[I was supposed to smack her.]

'And yet, I remain unsmacked. See that, bluey? Guy's got sanity, give him that. So if he's sane enough to do that, this was probably a good idea.'

[More like "I was too busy doing work to bother"]

'More like 'I'm trying to make excuses why I didn't get thrown to the floor.'"

[Oh my, with the kid around? How terrible of you.]

'Bah, she's actually older than I am, she just lived in a cave for who knows how long. Besides, she probably got the talk already.'

"The... what?"

'[1 2 3 NOT IT!... DAMN!]'

The ex-prince shrugged, helpless. What more could he say? They had clearly spent some effort decking out his 'totally not a jail cell really it looks like a house wink wink' with all sorts of festive, holiday cheer, what more could he do but accept their gift and try not to have his eyes water from all the bright lights.

Yes, it was totally the lights.

'Aw, come on, you're acting like we weren't going to anyway. Besides, what was I gonna do today? Hang out with the other buggy idiots pretending to be the pink bouncy one? PFFFFT! Gonna take a LOT more than a few bits to get me in a leather saddle.'

[I, likewise, was uh... bereft of plans today. However, I wouldn't have said no to saddles, be they leather or otherwise]

"And um... well..."

[No need to say it, we all get it.]

'No, those asshole guards who made squishing gestures got it.'

[Damn straight. Bro-hoof me.]

'Consider it hoofed.'

>Well, I suppose if you had nowhere to be...

'Pffft.'

A hoof struck him in the leg hard and fast, causing him to yelp and thankfully cover up... not-so-thankfully make his eyes water a little more.

'Just say you're happy already. Soldiers are supposed to be the macho ones.'

>...I am...

He must've yelped harder than he thought, his throat was strained.

>I was worried today... was going to be a day spent alone for the very first time, Mumsie and Daddums wouldn't answer my notes to come... so I was afraid I was going to-

Another shoved him, cutting that off dead.

[Well, you aren't, so make the most of it.]

>Oh, yes, lets... uh... what do non-rich ponies do on days like this? Last year I was skiing and pretending to be interested in some rich mares nonsense.

Haymaker gave out a loud laugh, and pulled out a canister of a special 'something'.

[We play games, swap some stories and get a bit snookered by the end of it.]

'Sounds like a plan to me!'

>Yes... that sounds lovely.

"OH! OH! I'll start with the stories! One time Momma-"

>'[NO!]'

"Awwww..."

>Heh, it's quite alright, Arana, we'll listen to it another day. But for now...

He took the offered cap of that 'something', raising it up as soon as it was fully.

>A toast, to new beginnings, and a Happy Hearth's Warming?

'[Here here!]'

[To Hearth Warmings not spent alone.]

'For once.'

"And many more after!"

>It's been a... trying year....

Strangely, even without drinking it, he began to feel quite warm inside.

>...but it's been one worth having.

The gifts were passed around, the cheers were made, and even a story or two was told from the spud loving changeling or experienced guard.

And, despite all he had believed would be up till this day...

Blueblood had a truly, honestly, Happy Hearth Warming.

For the very first time in his life.

Made all the more wonderful... knowing he was not the only one in that room that felt the same way.

He wasn't alone anymore, at last.

Again... for the very first time in his life.

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Non-Canon
>Pinkie
"Sweetie Belle"
~~~~
>Welcome to Late Night /pa/ with your host Pinkie Pie! It's during this time that content doesn't matter and I keep an eye on the thread! Now for our main guest...Sweetie Belle!!!

"Hiya Pinkie."

>Is a mare not entitled to a little spotlight? No, said my producer, it belongs to the canon characters. No, said the Lord of Chaos, because it will belong to whoever writers feel like giving to. No, said the Princess of the night, stop bothering me. I rejected those answers. Instead I chose something different. I chose the impossible. I chose...Partyland!

Behind Pinkie, the black background changes revealing Partyland rising high into the sky.

"WOW!"

>That's right. Where even you can get the spotlight you deserve and the happiness you need. A great sustainable floating city!

"You mean like Cloudsdale?"

>Even better than Cloudsdale! All are welcome. It doesn't matter if you're pony, unicorn, donkey, cow, changeling, griffon, or minotaur. All of them can enter the gates. Feel free to ask for a job there if you need to. Have some coupons and some free tickets for admission to share. Tell your friends, Partyland is back!
Jingle plays.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ddGMpxVkzBU
>Every day's great at Partyland~!

Sweetie Belle wakes up and smiles
"Huh...that jingle is kind of catchy."

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>Cadence
"Spitfire"
[???]
{???}
~~~~

"Heh, showed her... hell yeah I did, damn that felt goo- Oh! Hi, Princess, how are you enjoying the party?"

>...

"...What?"

>...

"...Erm... did you need something?"

>...

"...U-uh..."

>...

"...I mean, the other day I wasn't..."

>...

"Stop watches are normal for a captain to carry, and uh..."

>...

"Flying around! It's what I d-do, you know, nothing biiig there..."

"And, the uh, the paper?...Well I was just... filling out... rep...orts..."

>...

"...I'M SORRY DON'T GET RID OF ME AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!"

ZOOM!

>...Nahhhh, Eighteen doesn't know her all that well. Oh well!

~~~~~~

[So then *I* said, no fucking way is it going to fit on your ass, but sure enough!]

{Uh, Shiny? Are... er, you do realize there's a pony hiding underneath you and hugging your leg, right?}

[She does that sometimes, nervous tick I think, SO!... Oh! You'll love this one, so there I was, looking thought the clothing baskets, when you won't believe what I found!]

"D-don't get ridda meeee..."

[Don't spoil it!]

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CDashell

>???
“88”
‘77’
[???]
____

“He knew what he was doing… the dick.”

‘Come now, sister, he meant well. Nowadays, he’s trying exceptionally hard to-’

“Be a dick? Well, there’s his Hernia Warming present right there: success.”

‘…Hearth’s Warming, sister.’

“Should be dick warming.”

‘WOW.’

“Because he’s a-wait… oh screw you! You know what I meant!”

‘…snrk.’

“Shut up!”

‘Fine, fine. …But can you imagine-‘

“I can imagine my hoof in your-OOMPH!”

[GAH!]

Two chitinous bodies hit the ground in a heap.

Two more figures silently observed the first pair until glancing up and meeting eyes.

>Well, well, well… what have we here, hmm?

‘My… thoughts exactly.’

“You know, you could’ve warned me about the stupid corner, Seventy-Seven! How many times has this happened now?”

>Oho, Seventy-Seven this one is? Double digits? Does that signify anything important, perhaps hinting at an abnormality? Or is it merely a boring number?

Like she'd never spoken, the older changeling remained silent, his only visible eye glancing this lab coat wearing mare from head to hoof.

‘You… have a great deal of weapons on you.’

>Hm? Oh, these dulls things? Tools of the trade, Seventy-Seven, tools of the trade.

‘Curious. And what exactly is your trade?’

>Ah, ah, ah, it’s not polite for a gentleco-hm… for a gentleling, I should say, to inquire so much of a lady without going first themselves…

‘Simple enough. My trade... is protecting the peace.’

Down on the ground and still trying to detangle himself from 88, the third changeling reached up with an imploring hoof.

[Seventy-Seven, wait-she’s not-]

>Is that so? Does that mean you consider little old me a threat, Mr Guardbug?

‘An oddity to be sure, yes. If I suspected you of being a threat we would have hardly exchanged so many words. To that end, Twelve, am I to assume this female is a friend of yours?’

>Female? Shit, I didn’t know we were thrown back in time! Good heavens, where did my kitchen go?

‘…’

[...She’s a friend, yeah.]

>See? That’s all that I am, Seventy-Seven. A friend. A friend who just so happens to have a sexy-

[Screwloose, come on…]

>What? I was going to say ‘a sexy brain’, you pervert!

[…]

>I so was.

“Who’s talking? I hear voic-AND WHO’S TOUCHING ME THERE?”

[Sorry, sorry, I can’t get my wing-the stupid thing’s stuck, I swear!]

>Hm, can’t tell if being cheated on or if he’s legitimately bad lucked…

[I’m telling you it’s not on purpo-HIVEMIND ABOVE SHE’S GOT A WEAPON WHERE DID SHE GET A WEAPON?!]

‘Sister, return my knife to me, if you please. I only just got it and I’d prefer it remain blood free for as long as possible.’

“…No.”

‘Cute. Now hand it over and hold still, you bundle of limbs….’

[Thanks. …Now then! Introduction time. Hivemates, this is Screwloose, resident scientist and-]

“Scientist…? Y-you mean like the Twilight princess?”

[What? No, no, not like-PUT THE KNIFE DOWN!]

‘SISTER NO!’

>Awww, she’s hyperventilating, how adorable. Am I assume there’s a story behind why she so rudely tried to run me through just then? Or is that just the double-digit customary greeting style?

‘…Bad experience. I do apologi-’

“I don’t want robot eyes! I don’t want any nanomachine whatevers forcing my eyeballs to roll to the back of my skull! I’d rather stay blind forever nononononono!”

>…
[…]

‘…A really, really… bad… experience.’

>Oh, I know all about bad experiences, trust me. Sometimes pervert here really phones in his hoof massages. I practically have a to whine for a do-over, lazy thing.

[How do you know I’m not doing it just to make you whine?]

>…Huh! Touché, perv. Touché.

‘…What in the f-’

>But anywhozzles, this one here… numberrrrr…?

Neither 12 nor 77 spoke up, both of them turning towards their hivemate, both waiting. If she wanted to introduce herself, she wou-

“Eighty-Eight. My number is Eighty-Eight.”

>Splendid! You double-digits are quite fascinating, I see.

“Uh, thanks?

>So am I to understand that you’re blind?

It was amazing, the message conveyed by 77 when he slowly approached his sister to stand just in front of her.

He fixed Screwloose with a stoic glare.

‘Yes, you may take it as such.’

>Wonderful.

Almost before 77 could look affronted, 12 had facehoofed himself.

[She doesn’t mean it like-]

‘And why is that wonderful?’

Wordlessly, Screwloose approached the blind changeling.

Wordlessly, 77 lifted his knife, pressing the flat edge against her throat.

[Screwloose!]

But she only continued, inkling her head a ways to get face-to-face with this new… interest.

88 twitched.

“I smell blood….”

And there was indeed an angry looking red patch spreading through Screwloose’s fur where the knife bit into her flesh.

>Funny. I smell possibilities.

Perplexed, 77 glanced from the mare he held at knifepoint to 12, who stood stockstill with his jaw clenched.

‘…Do you not wish to preserve your life, Ms Screwloose?’

At the term ‘ms’, her ears twitched and she glanced over at the grizzled changeling.

>My life? My, aren’t you the cute one. I don’t care about preserving my life, because being finite it’s worthless.

Just over her shoulder, 77 caught the subtle tremor that ran through 12’s form.

>My life can’t be preserved, but my legacy can. And I’ll make sure it shines bright through the marks I leave on this big ass rock. Like giving sight back to your sister there.

‘..’
“…”
[…]

>I mean, even if you made a pez dispenser out of my neck, I’d still do it. It’d just take longer considering I’d have to first master taking over bodies.

‘A…are you… how? How would you do that, return her sight?’

“I-I don’t want cyborg eyes. I… mine are fine, they just don’t work right…”

Nodding ever so slowly, understandingly, Screwloose reached up for the edge at her neck, and pulled it away.

>And what doesn’t work can undoubtedly be fixed. Besides…

With 77 still holding onto the knife, and trying to figure out her motives, Screwloose lifted the scarlet spattered blade to her lips.

>I’m sure all you’ve got are a couple screws loose in there. We all do.

And she ran her tongue over the smooth metal, simultaneously cleansing it and sampling her own arterial honey.

‘…’
[…]

“…I don’t have the slightest clue what just happened but this silence feels one shade awkward, six shades lewd. I don’t even know how that is.”

>Don’t worry about it, double-blind. Just try not to concuss yourself on those corners, okay? We’ll be in touch soon.

She turned without another word, coat flaring out behind her, and set off down the hall.

Only getting about five steps before 77 spoke.

‘May I ask why?’

>You may.

‘I want to know why you would help us, help her.’

>It’s part of my trade.

‘Even still, you’ve only just met us… and your neck….’

Screwloose blinked, glancing down her front at the trickles of drying blood.

>What, this? Please. I’ve done far worse to myself.

[Quoted for truth….]

>Not to mention, it’s Hearth’s Warming and we’ve just given each other pretty good prospective gifts.

“We have…?”

>Of course! In exchange for returning your sight, you’ve given me my favorite thing ever, the gift of experimentation! AHAHAHAHAhahaha… haha… hm….

What started off as a hair-raising cackle quickly died into nothing as Screwloose met 12’s cutely befuddled stare. No surprise her laugh hadn’t phased him one way or the other.

>Well, second favorite thing ever….

[Wuh-]

>We’re off! Come, pervert, we must seek out the earth pony traitor princess!

Still confused yet oddly pleased over her slight show of affection, 12 took off after the fast trotting mare.

[Why do we need to find Apple Prime again? Think I missed that part.]

>Because one, never call her that again. And because two, I need her permission to do this. She’s got me on a leash, so to speak, and while that’s usually something that gets my tail wagging, it’s gonna take an absurd amount of research and data to make this work, if it even can. But! That’s the kind of fucking magic that I do better than anyone…

She threw a leg around 12’s neck, causing him to stumble as she dragged him in closer.

>The magic of science!

[…I think one of your scalpels just stabbed me…]

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>Rarity
"Spike"
~~~

>Shoot! Shoot shoot shoot!

"Finally hit you how much you spent?"

>Oh no, no no no, I'm going to drown that away for a long time to come.

"Healthy."

>What I'm concerned about is that Cadence keeps doing that stare to everyone else!

"Oh, right... the stare... the one that makes me want to admit I took a bite out of that part of her throne she can't see."

>Pfft, silly Spike! That is the stare of contemplation! Of weighing your options for whom you wish to approach! She is carefully weighing everything here, clearly!

"...Then why do I feel so guilty..."

>Because she's tilting her head a little too far, poor form really, but no matter! We must nudge her in the right direction!

"This is getting into creepy territory."

>I'm just helping a friend of yours.

"Uh... huh..."

>Come, Spike! I need an assistant to work with!

"...Know just how to push my buttons."

>Come!


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>Sunset
"18"
~~~

>...

"..."

>...Sooo... you're uh... you're Eighteen?

"That I am."

>Cool... cool...

"..."

>...You're the one who's uh, you know, with Shining Armor and Caden-

"Yes."

>Great.

"..."

>...What the fuck do you do? I have never gotten that, those guys seem to like having you around, but I never see you do anything.

"Oh, I'm sorry, do I have to do something special to be liked?"

>...Ah. That did come out wrong, good point.

"Yeah, I'd say."

>...You're not the one who holds grudges really, really hard, are you?

"..."

>Point taken.

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>Pinke
"Fluttershy"
~~~

>Are Spike and Rarity plotting something?

"Yes."

>...Should we get invo-

"No."

>Don't you want to help your friends?

"Tell me this is going to end well, and I will."

>...Fair enough.

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>Applejack
"Twilight"
~~~~

>...So, Ah' notice ya' ain't given out yer' gifts ta' all of us yet-

"MWWWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!"

>...

"...I mean, it's coming!"

>...

"..."

>...So Ah'm just supposed ta' ignore ya' did that?

"Would you, please?"

>The whole room just heard ya'.

"I'll say you told a funny joke."

>And ya' think they're gonna buy that?

"Hey, you're funny!"

>...

"You give off sensible chuckles!"

>...

"...You could use the street cred?"

>Ah'll take it.

"...mwahhaah..."

>Stop smilin'.

"No."

>...This is gonna suck, ain't it?

"Was hoping for the opposite."

>...

"Don't jinx me!"

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>Luna
"29"
'MM'
[Zecora]
~~~~
>Go, mine students! Go fourth, this we command!

["..."']

>...Go on!

"Thou cannot think we this stupid!"

'Yeah, this is obviously a trap.'

>...Go!

"We shalt not stand on this ridiculous bulls eye!"

>Tis a rune!

"IT'S A BULLSEYE!"

>Wait, why is thine phrase called that? Is... is an eye of a bull something thou normally wishes to shoot?

'...huh... That's actually a good question...'

[The revelation is thrumming like the thoom of a bassist... have this whole time, we've used a phrase that is racist?]

>...This is boring. HU-HAH!

"'[ACK!]'"

>AH HAH! We have tricked thee onto our trap!

'You shoved us onto this! WITH MAGIC!... What does it even-'

>PULL THE LEVER!

['"..."']

>...Oh, right, we must do this ourselves... HA!

CLICK!

"OH FU-"

SPLORT!

>Ha ha! Thou have fallen into my trap!

"...Jello!? Thou dumped us in Jello!? WHY!?

>Because we find it funny!... and it was the only thing that did not freeze.

[...Hee hee.]

"What are you giggling at-"

SPLAT!

'ACK! Zecora!'

[Do you have a problem with what I throw? With retaliation, displeasure you must show!]

'Oh, I'll show it alright! COME HERE!!'

[OOF!... Ha ha! You are a fool if you think you can take me! I am a jello wrestler better than any you will see! BOOM!]

'HEY WAIT!'

SPLAT!

>...This is not going as we expected.

"..."

>Are thou not going to break them up? Thine friends are fighting.

"...I'm good..."

>Hrm... we shall have to try harder with out next prank.

'EEP! Not there!'

[ALL IS FAIR INSIDE THE RING! This will not stop until the bell goes DING!]

'EEEEP! I am so rusty at this!'

"...huuh-wait, why are thou looking at me?... U-uh-"

[You are not escaping my wrath, Twenty Nine! The taste of victory will be mine!]

"NO WAIT! I JUST WISHED TO WATCH!"

[TOO BAD!]

SPLAT!

>...Nevermind, this worked out fine.


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>SA
"Celestia"
~~~

>... What IS she doing?

"Judging everyone, it looks like."

>But she's only going after the mares.

"How can you tell? There's, what, three males in this room total? You, Big Mac and Spike."

>...Huh... uh... wow, have you ever noticed-

"Yes, and no, I'm not going to start making it mandatory to put the 'oppressed' in higher positions, that's stupid."

>Easy for you to say.

"Oh, here we go. I'll have you know I may be female, but I'm also a whitey, so it's totally different."

>Oh, and it's not different for a GUY who's a whitey?

"I didn't say that! It's just comparable!"

>It's not comparable, there's so many more of you guys in upper positions compared to us it's insane.

"Well, we worked for it. What, would you berate your sister for not taking her higher position?"

>Well, no, but-

"Oh, so it's different when it's family."

>She's half whitey!

"Pffft! I don't care who her mother was, she's all lavender!"

>I'm just saying there's an inequality.

"And I'm just saying- what the fuck are we talking about?"

>I have no idea. Sounds really stupid now that we're not doing it, isn't it?

"..."

>...

"...Want to just go ask your wife?"

>And stop this in it's tracks? Hell no.... mayyyybe if she gets to me, but up till that point, nah.

"My whitey."

>My whitey.

"...I'm glad I spent Hearth Warming with you guys this time."

>Luna still being crabby?

"Yep."

>...Want to go mess with her, since we're in Ponyville?

"...Yes."

>Whiteys rule.
"All others drool."

BRO-HOOF

>Now let's go mess with your sister.


_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>Sweetie Belle
"Applebloom"
~~~

"So what was it like being a squid?"

>Felt a little fishy to me.

"What about that going traveling through time thing?"

>I'll tell you all about it twenty minutes from now.

"Was that stuff heavy?"

>I managed, one more straw and I was going to break!

"...Anythin?"

>Nope, nothing.

"Dang, no cutie marks in comedy."

>I'm just not meant for standup.

"...'

>.... So what's the deal with Pegasi food?

"Stop."

>Okay...


_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

NC
>Chrysalis
"Changeling"
'??'
~~~~

>...Why are you all looking at me like that?

"We're not like bees, right?"

>...What!?

"Bees, we are NOTHING like bees, right?"

>NO!

"Not even with the whole Queen thing?"

>That's stupid! If anything we have more in common with ants.

"...The ants don't do it too, right?"

"Double checking, double cheeeccckkkinnnggg...."

>Do what too!?

"Doooooouuuubblllleeeeee.... cheeeeeeccckkkkkkkiiiiinnnnggggg... no."

"Oh, okay... you're sure we're more like ants?"

>Yes!

"So then, the hive doesn't deal with the queen for a new one to come up?"

>WHAT!? No! The fucking next in line handles any transitions, and that's all you need to know!

"Right! Good! Gotcha! Just checking."

>...

"...Bye!"

>...What the FUCK was that all abou-OOF!

'THIS IS WORKIN'!"

>Two, what are you doing?

'I dunno, but I saw a lotta bees do this and-'

"False alarm!"

'False alarm?'

"More ant then bee, she says."

'...Oh. Okay!'

>What were you trying to do?

'Cuddlin' ya' really hard, it's what bees are supposed to do fer' some reason.'

>Oh... don't do that, you guys.

"Noted!"

>...why the heck do bees cuddle their Queens?... Makes NO sense.

"H-heh, yeah... silly bee..."

>...You can stop hugging me now.

"NO!"

>Okay.

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Non-Canon
>Pinkie
"Applebloom"
~~~~
>Welcome to Late Night /pa/ with your host Pinkie Pie! It's during this time that content doesn't matter and we get down with the sickness! Now for our main guest...Applebloom!!!

"Hey everypony!"

>Applebloom...

"...Pinkie Pie?"

>Applebloom...

"....Pinkie Pie?"

>Applebloom.

"....Um Pinkie Pie?"

>That's the show, Appleboom!
Pinkie's desk explode causing Applebloom to wake up.

"O-oh...okay."

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>Cloudchaser
"Fleetfoot"
~~~~

Okay.

This was it.

She was going to do it.

She was finally, at last, going to confront her about this.

She had kept quiet, she had played nice, she had been a good little follower, but she had enough. She had, at last, filed out a little complaint form, made sure every little thing was crisp and perfect, and now she was going to do something about it.

"Heeey... Cloudchaser, right? You're not that other purple one with the bluish mane? I always get you two mixed up."

One thing she could never doubt of her commanding officer is that, for all her other acts, Fleetfoot was nothing if not an approachable, friendly pony. She was the perfect star athlete, and always smiled for cameras even when they weren't there. She had her upsides.

But that's not why Cloudchaser was here today.

>I... I have some complaints I need to file.

"...Oh?"

Of course, while she was a nice, friendly pony most days, that didn't mean she didn't feel a bit of unease when her eyebrow rose up ever so slightly.

>Y-yes... I need to file this with captain Rainbow Dash.

"Someone harassing you? If so, you can tell me. I've got full authority to ruin some ponies if I feel like they're pulling that."

>Ah... no, no no... it's more about the... the partying and the vip trips and all that.

There was a sharp edge in her eye now, and Cloudchaser was now very aware she probably should have just kept walking.

"Uh... huh."

>It's just, this isn't what we're supposed to be doing, right? I thought we were supposed to be getting away from that, from all of this, so I just feel like I need to make it known to her-

"Hold up for a second."

Fleetfoot walked off with a surprisingly easy gait. And even though she knew full well she could make a run for it right now, something about her tone had kept her in place, locked in a mixture of worry and perhaps curiosity.

As quickly as she had gone, the veteran Wonderbolt returned, and she did not return empty hoofed.

It took a bit of reading to understand the piece of paper being held up silently in front of her, but it seemed like an expense report for one of their VIP trips, very well filled out and very detailed.

And there, at the bottom...

"Yeah, you're not telling her anything she didn't explicitly sign off on. See that? Nobody can fake that signature."

>...She... she's okay with it?

Page after page after page, all with those same reports containing outlandish requests in them, all of them signed and dotted and dated by none of then the Element of Loyalty herself.

"Every one of them, champ."

>...But... but I thought we were supposed to-

"Yeeeeeah, that was the plan, but after our public image took a serious nose dive after the third invasion we were totally useless in, we kind of had to pull up, you know? So we slipped back into the old costumes for a bit, played the part, and hey! It's working like a charm, our popularity polls have been skyrocketing. Our shows are selling again, and our recruitment numbers are better than the six it was through three different major disasters."

>This... this isn't what we're supposed to do!

The older wonderbolt chuckled, looking only a little amused as she shrugged her shoulders.

"Hey, fair enough, go on and complain to a higher up about her overspending or something, we've been pushing our budget pretty thin here recently."

She began to circle her, eerily reminiscent in this moment of a shark.

"Let's see... well, obviously can't go higher on the airforce chain, since she's at the top and all that. Uhhh... oh, I guess the other princesses like Twilight or Luna don't really oversee military works either, do they? Well, that and the former is her fellow in arms and the latter owes her life to the captain, so that ones unlikely... Oh! I know! That one princess cracked down on Blueblood, after all, surely she'll... oh, right. That's princess Applejack. Her best friend... think she'll be impartial?"

She stopped, steadying the shaking, wide eyed pegasi who sat now with shaking hooves on her paper.

"That just leaves Princess Celestia... the pony who's kingdom Rainbow Dash saved, the pony who's life she saved many, many times, and of course, the pony that gave her sister back after over a thousand years spent away, all at risk to herself... think she'll take your side?"

Fleetfoot's hoof felt it when the others shoulder slumped.

And she knew she was done.

"If you figure out someone to complain to, please share? I've got a few complaints of my own, but you and me are on the same level on this one. She's up at the top, and there's no one up higher for us to call out to. Sorry, but I like being a wonderbolt, and last thing I was is to end up like Spitfire did... poor mare. Just got in her way at the wrong time."

She let her go, and continued on to do whatever it was she had been heading to do before now.

"Good initiative, rookie, and if you find an answer, share. Other than that... just try to enjoy it. We're Wonderbolt's, after all. This is what we do."

Seemingly alone, the lavender pegasi looked to her paper for a few more, slow seconds. Watching as it shook and crinkled ever so slightly in her grasp.

The sound of paper ripping up echoed through the empty hall, and only when she was sure it was utterly illegible did she throw it into the trash, and start on her way back to her barracks.

There would be post Hearth Warming shows, after all...

So wrapped up in her own thoughts, she didn't even notice a pair of eyes watching her leave.

"...Pfft, damn it Dash, stop making me cover your ass for this stuff.... Heh, figures. I don't even like her, and I'm still going to bat for the captain to put out her fires."

Those eyes vanished as her body turned, and she sauntered off.

"Some things never change."

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