Who ya' Gonna Call? Part 8: Bathing for Science

“I'm perfectly capable of bathing myself... But no, 'You won't be fast enough'. 'You'll miss the ceremony'. 'You won't be able to fix your mane'. I can't believe you-”
>You jumped slightly as Rarity levitated a buckle of water and dumped it over your head. You begin to flash back to the series of events that led you to your current situation. In a bathtub with Rarity washing you, while Twilight 'helps' by taking notes.
“-talked me into this.”
>”Oh pish posh, Anonymous. Stop being so difficult. You should feel lucky! Its not everyday two lovely mares give just anyp0ny a bath.” Rarity says with a smile, levitating a brush scrubbing your arms.
“I probably wouldn't mind so much if Miss 'It must be documented for future generations' wasn't detailing my anatomy for 'science'.”
>You shoot a quick glare over at Twilight while making air quotes. She was far too busy writing this entire exploit in her notebook. Or she was ignoring you. You look back to Rarity and sigh.
“Your the only one I can trust with this, Rarity. If whatever book she's writing goes to print, promise me you'll kill me. Just snap my neck. I won't even feel a thing.”
>Rarity rolls her eyes, and starts to scrub your arm pits “Oh quit being dramatic Anonymous. Twilight, dear, would you be so kind as to fetch some more soap? I'm almost out.”
>”Huh? Oh, right! I'll be right back.” Twilight says, snapping to attention from the notes so was so dutifully writing and walking out of the room.
>”There... Better?”
>You sigh, and nod your head. You still wore that frown, but this was better than Twilight's note taking.
“Much.”
>”I still cannot believe you are not worried more about this.” The scrubbing brush moves to your chest... Which manages to illicit a snicker.
“Ticklish, careful.. More worried about what?”
>”Getting almost charred alive by some ghostly entity? For somep0ny who received a flame-bath, your awful cavalier about it.”
>You shrug as the brush moves upward to your neck.
“If every job only ended with some minor burns I'd consider myself very lucky.”
>”What do you mean?”
“Well, depending on what we're hunting, some jobs may end with someone getting at least some type of sprain or minor bone fracture. Though, the worst injury I ever received was when I got squashed by a giant boulder. Doctors said I may never of walked again. Proved them wrong, hah!”
>It was a contest really. Which Ghostbuster could survive the most grievous injuries and get back to the job. The current 'record' was held by a tough bloke in Ghostbusters: London. No one would have guessed that he could survive getting his heart ripped out.
>Rarity gasp, “Wha-what? That is just dreadful. How can you do such a dangerous job?” You can hear the concern in her voice as the brushing stops. You look back at her, and she's wearing a frown on her otherwise cute face.
“Because there's a lot of stuff out there that goes bump in the night. And if we don't stop them, no one will.”
>You state with no small amount of conviction and pride in your voice. Its why you joined the Ghostbusters in the first place; to help anyone who needs help fight back against the things that go bump in the night. If you happened to get famous, well that was just gravy. And then there was the perk of wearing a particle accelerator of dubious registration on your back. That was fun too.
>Rarity releases a sigh, and soon redoubles her efforts to scrub you clean. “But aren't you worried about getting hurt? Or worse?”
“Of course I am. I'm a little crazy, but I haven't gone completely loony... Yet.”
>You smirk, as another bucket of water gets dumped over your head suddenly. Freaking levitation.
>”Well, Anonymous, you best get dressed before Twilight comes back; but we still need to figure out what to do about your mane! Its completely mangled. I maybe good with a brush but even I have my limits.”
>You shrug, reaching for a nearby towel to cover yourself with as you emerged from the tub.
“Could just shave it off.”
>”What?!” Rarity said in surprise, and turned around to face you, “But your mane is so curly and soft, it'd be a crime to shave the entire thing.”
“What about a mohawk?”
>Rarity just gives you a sidelong glance, “A what?”
“Well, you shave it so there is only a strip a hair right down the middle.”
>You used to rock one during your 'punk years' in high school...
>”We're trying to save your mane, not remove more of it.” Rarity protested, and shook her head turning away to allow you some form of privacy.
“Alright, just a suggestion...”
>You say and open up the box that Rarity gifted you earlier. And you can barely believe your eyes.
>It was a new flight suit! It looked almost exactly like your old one, except it was less crispy... Which was a good thing!
>The material she used was soft and pliable, it felt more akin to silk than the khaki you were used to. Even had the same patches and everything. You just hold it up in front of yourself.
“You made this?”
>You say with an awestruck smile on your face.
>”Of course. Think of it as repayment for feeding my fickle muse, darling. Thanks to all of the pictures you've shown me, I have an entire line of designs for the spring season.” She states, looking back at you while you put the suit on.
>You have to admit, it felt amazing... And damn if you don't look good in it.
“Thank you, Rarity. You are just too awesome for words.”
>As you zipped it up, Rarity turned around and trotted over, inspecting her work and giving the legs and sleeves a few testing tugs, “Just try to be careful with it. Its not fireproof, so try not to get into fights with flame wielding hooligans.”
>You nod, and look into the bathroom mirror. Wow, you did look kind of weird with half of your hair burned off. Not to mention the charred remains of your eyebrow.
>You look over at Rarity who seems to be rubbing her chin with a hoof as she appraises your hair. She then sighs, “I cannot think of anything. Maybe Twilight knows a spell-”
>”I'm back.” Speak of the devil and she shall appear... Carrying soap, apparently, “Sorry that took so long, I hope I didn't miss any-” Twilight blinks as she notices that your now clothed then releases a disappointed whine, “Your already done.”
>You shrug, and continue to fidget with your hair.
“Sorry Twilight, maybe next time. Say, you got any spells that might be able to help with my hair situation?”
>Twilight blinks, and begins to think then sighs, “I'm sorry Anonymous, but I don't know any. If you want a mustache though...”
>She got over that quickly.
>You shake your head.
“Nah, I look ridiculous with a mustache. Looks like I'm gonna have to mohawk it.”
=========
>Rarity wasn't too happy with your decision to turn your half-fricasseed hair into a stylish, slightly curly, mohawk. But she got over it after you explained your hair grows pretty quickly.
>The award ceremony was being held in the center of town in front of the town hall, which wasn't too far away from the library.
“Alright, so how do these work? Do I just sorta walk up there take the award while the mayor gives a speech?”
>Twilight nods her head, “Pretty much. Though, you may have to give a speech if requested.”
>A speech, huh? You could do that. Otherwise it sounds pretty cut and dry.
>You've done your fair share of award ceremonies; mostly over glorified photo-opts so the local politicians could associate themselves with the people who got rid of a supernatural menace. This one was probably going to be the same deal, but you didn't mind. The more p0nies seeing your face meant it'd be much easier to find work. No matter where you were, everyone wanted to hire a local hero.
>You only expected a few p0nies to show up; but then you saw the crowd. It was huge! Everyp0ny in town must be here.
>Perfect!
>As long as you played your cards right, you could totally get a job without a problem.
>And since you were wearing a jumpsuit, there would be no chance of your pants getting pulled down.
>You never did pay back Lisa for that prank...
>You approached the throng of p0nies, many of them moving out of the way to allow you to get to the simple wooden platform that was set up in front of the town hall. Several of them were smiling at you, as you heard hushed chatter about yesterday. Already on the stage are AJ and Rainbow. The cyan mare is waving you over excitedly while AJ is giving you a friendly nod.
“Wish me luck.”
>Twilight and Rarity smile.
>“Oh you'll do fine, dear.”
>”Good luck!”
>You head up onto the stage and stand next to Rainbow nearest to the edge of the stage, lowering your voice to a whisper you look over at them.
“You two feeling okay after yesterday?”
>AJ grins and looks over, “Mmhmm, whatever tha' thing was is gonna hafta' hit harder if he wants ta' keep this mare down.”
>”Pfft, it didn't even touch me yesterday. I was just too fast.”
“I'll say. Both of you did great. Put a couple of proton-packs on you, and you'd both make fine Ghostbusters.”
>”Ah'm awful flattered Anon, but Ah don' think Ah'd wanna do tha' again. Ah'll just stick with apple buckin'.” AJ chuckled.
>”If you ever need help busting a ghost, I'm totally game! That ranked up there with the Wonderbolts on my 'awesome' scale.” Rainbow grinned and gave you a wink.
>Before you could say anything else, you could hear hoof steps on on the platform.
>You look over, and its looks like an older p0ny with a pair of spectacles, with a gray mane and earthen tone coat. Must be the mayor. She doesn't look like your typical politician, you can actually see a soul behind those eyes. She walks up to the podium, and clears her throat...
>The speech went on for a while, or at least it seemed that way. First she thanked half the town for looking for Ditzy, then she talked about about how the community is always helping one another, and in a rather surprising twist, she actually got on with it and honored the three of you.
>As she approached you, she lowered her voice to a whisper, “Mister Anonymous, whenever you have the time I'd like to speak with you in private.”
>The mayor wants to speak with you? In private?
>Either the mayor is gonna try to seduce you (she is a politician, after all), or something else is going on.
>With curiosity peaked, you give the mayor a nod.
>Just like Twilight said, the rest of the ceremony was rather cut and dry. After the mayor gave her big speech, and after the crowd was finished cheering, everyp0ny pretty much dispersed without incident. >After all was said and done, Rarity and Twilight approached your happy band afterward.
>”So, what did the mayor whisper to you, Anon?” Rainbow Dash asked, flapping upward and flying next to your head.
“Said she wanted to talk to me about something private. Probably couldn't resist the Anonymous charm.”
>You quipped, flexing your arms.
>Rainbow rolled her eyes and then smacked you on the shoulder; while the other three giggled.
“Why you gotta be so violent?”
>Twilight stopped snickering long enough to ask, “So, why do you think the mayor asked to see you?”
>You really didn't have any clue. For all you know, she was a cult leader and she was gonna strap you onto a stone slab to chop out your heart and offer it to some ancient spirit of grains or whatever.
>So, you shrug.
“No clue. I figure I'll head over there now and see what she wants. Then afterward, time for a job hunt.”
>A decent plan for the day.
>”Ah didn' know you were lookin' fer a job, Anon. We could always use more hoofs down at tha' farm fer cartin' apples, every now and then.”
>There is a certain charm about working on a farm that speaks to you. Doesn't sound like stable work though, could be good until something else comes along.
“I may have to take you up on that offer, AJ. Though, first, mind if I get some directions to the mayor's office?”
============
>The mayor's office was, for lack of a better term, quaint. It wasn't massive, or gaudy, it was simple almost rustic. The waiting room was fairly small, with a couple of chairs and a secretary sitting behind wooden desk filing some papers in between filing her hoofs. She gave you a bored look and asked you to wait for a moment while the mayor got done with her current meeting.
>It was quiet for a while, but eventually you managed to strike up a conversation with the secretary. Ends up her name is Turf, and she sounds like a complete valley girl.
>”So, like, you go around and 'bust' ghost and stuff? Sounds, like, pretty gnarly.” She states, looking up at you while filing her hoof.
“Oh you better believe it. I've got plenty of strange stories.”
>You respond, leaning back in the small chair you were currently sitting in.
>”I, like, totally believe it. I heard, like, from Derpy Hooves that you, Rainbow, and AJ totally smoked a monster that threw fire and junk.”
“Oh yeah. Nasty class four with a guardian complex. Luckily, we were just too much for him.. He got my eyebrow and half my hair though.”
>You continue, flipping a hand through your mohawk. You were gonna miss that hair.
>Then the door to the mayor's office opened as another p0ny walked out. Stallion from the looks of him, black mane, brown coat...And a tie with a dollar sign on it.
>Businessp0ny?
>”-a zoning deal for the Barnyard Bargain's expansion. I'm hopin' to get more business coming through in the next few weeks.”
>Yep, businessp0ny.
>”Oh absolutely. My p0nies will have your zoning permits done by the end of the week. Just send someone by to pick them up.” Mayor Mare responded.
>”Pleasure doing business with you, as always...”
>He trotted out of the door, but not before adjusting his tie slightly.
>”Like, Miss Mare, like Mister Anonymous is here to see you.” Turf said as the mayor waved after the well dress businessp0ny.
>”Hm?” She looked over at you, “Mister Anonymous, perfect timing. Please come into my office.”
“Sounds like a plan.”
>You nod, getting up and heading into the mayor's office....
>”Thank you for coming on such short notice, Mister Anonymous.” She said, closing the door behind you and walking behind her desk.
“No problem. Though, just call me Anonymous or Anon.”
>You stand in front of the desk, looking around the room a moment.
>Several picture frames decorate the white wash walls, news paper articles, a diploma of some kind, and plenty of pictures of the mayor with other p0nies. Even one with Princess Celestia.
>”Alright then Anonymous.” She smiled, “I bet your wondering why I asked you here?”
“Can't say that I'm not curious. Usually when political figures ask to speak with me, its to serve me some type of court summons, or EPA violation, or a city is about to get plunged into supernatural related chaos-”
>She chuckled nervously at that last one...
>The scene may change, but ghostbusting... Ghostbusting never changes.
“-its the last one isn't it?”
>”Well, not exactly... I'm sure you've noticed during your few days here, things can be very... Difficult. Luckily, we've had the Elements of Harmony living in town to help with any problems that may occur. But these 'ghost' or whatever they are. They have the citizens worried. Especially with that terrorizing orange thing, and Ditzy's disappearance after that. P0nyville has always had some strange or downright weird activity before, but never like this...”
>You can see where this is going...
>”Then a mysterious creature, armed with devices that can trap these things, and he's already rescued two p0nies, appears! Even Princess Celestia seems to be giving him her glowing endorsement. What I'm getting at is...”
>Here it comes... Government contract, come on. Come on. No whammies! No whammies!
>”This town could use a ghostbuster. And I figured I'd give you a call.”
>BOOM! Yes!
>You hide your excitement by gently nodding your head and putting on your best poker face.
“Well, Miss Mayor... I'm gonna need a few things, but you got yourself a ghostbuster.”
>Mayor Mane released a sigh of relief, “Wonderful. Just tell me what you need, and I'll see if P0nyville can provide.”
>You ponder for a moment. You would need some property first, preferably pre-built. You would need some more man-power... p0ny-power... whatever, eventually as well. Not to mention, you'd need a budget.
“Alright, first things first, I'm gonna need a place to set up shop. Preferably with something with plenty of room for bunks, a kitchen, and storage. We usually use old public works buildings; police departments, schools, that kind of thing.”
>She rubs her chin for a moment, then walks over to a filing cabinet, “I think I have just the place....”'
========
>”Ah cannot believe it, Anonymous. Fourth days 'ere and ya' already got a place to live. Tha's just amazin'.” AJ laughed jovially, “Yer one lucky p0ny.”
“Oh, I know it. But I'm not to question a good thing.”
>You cannot contain your grin as you head further away from town, AJ, Rainbow Dash, and Pinkie Pie in tow... You had no idea where Pinkie Pie came from, she was just so excited you didn't care. Twilight said she had to do some things at the library, and Rarity seemed opposed to going into an 'old dusty' fire station.
>“Ohmigosh! We've gotta throw you a house warming party.” Pinkie started, and you could tell she was already plotting something.. And she's bouncing.. And bouncing.. And bouncing..
>Look away, Anon. She's trying to hypnotize you!
“Hey, calm down. I might be living there, but its more of a public service building. Besides, the mayor told me it hasn't been in use for a long time, so it'll probably need some TLC.”
>Just like back at home. It seemed that every single ghostbuster precinct had to do at least some renovations to whatever place they moved into.
>”I just hope you know what your getting into, Anon. I mean, I've flown over it a few times and its not in the best of shape.”
“Oh, how bad could it be?”
> Dear god, why did you just say that?
>And then you saw it.
>It was a two story stone building. You could tell that at one point it was bright red, but time had faded the color into a dull crimson. The windows had been smashed, and the wooden doors looked like they were a strong gust of wind away from falling apart. You've seen worse, but this was by no means pretty.
>You approach the front door and look back at the three p0nies following you, and push it gently-
>And the door falls off the hinges and onto the stone floor.
“... I didn't like that door anyway.”
>AJ chuckled nervously, as Rainbow just smirked.
>You took a step inside, and looked around. The afternoon sun highlighted the dust motes that were floating in the air from the sudden gust of fresh air that invaded the previously undisturbed firehouse. You begin to cough, and try to pull the collar of your jump suit over your nose. Needs more air! You walk over to a large pair of double doors, and open them up. Luckily, these didn't fall off the hinges like the first one. Now, the firehouse has plenty of illumination.
>”Wow... This place looks pretty rough, sugar cube.”
>”I think 'rough' is an understatement, AJ. It looks like I did a sonic rainboom in here.”
>Pinkie Pie gasped! And then ran upstairs. What was she doing anyway?
“Okay, maybe its a little worse than I planned on, but I'm no stranger to doing construction jobs. Some elbow grease, some minor repairs, and this place will be Ghostbusters: P0nyville HQ in no time flat.”
>You then heard a whooshing sound coming from behind you, and you turn around to see Pinkie Pie sliding down a fire-pole. She giggles and bounces toward you.
>”Hey p0nies! You have to try out this pole! It still works. We should totally have a sleep over in here, you know.. To test it out! I'll go get my sleeping bag!” She then bounces out of the firehouse.
>... A working fire pole, huh? That is all you needed to hear.