Disgaea Valor 4-6

Shika (GM): Whoa I count five do we have a full- oh that's just Prof
(Hi)
Vehrec: (hey Prof)
do we have five now, I think we do.
Prof: (I am but an observer)
Argent B.: (oh but gosh, I haven't worn for guests)
(my hair's a mess, my clothes smell...)
(er...)
(I said that out-loud, didn
*'t I)
Comrade Q.: we should've cleaned up before having company over
Awe: (the spice must flow)
Comrade Q.: this place is a mess
Mammon: I have people, by a certain loose definition of "people," to do that for me.
Shika (GM): ALL RIGHT THEN IT IS TIME
Argent B.: (well, hello Prof, welcome welcome :) )
Vehrec: Ora!
Narrator: Since we're starting a new chapter, plus having a guest over, it is appropriate to start with "On the Previous Episode" SO
ON THE PREVIOUS EPISODE:
Our heroes (they are not heroes) were ARRESTED and thrown in Death Death Prison, the Netherworld's only Absolutely Maximum Security Prison.
They promptly escaped.
With the help of the unprinny-like Prinwise, they were able to get to the prison's control room and turn off the death trap security measures.
Nocebo: as our health-bars can atest, this did not go entirely smoothly.
Narrator: On their way out, they faced First Base, the head of security, who turned their escape into a baseball game. They still scraped a victory out of the bottom on the ninth.
Mannfred: not for you, anyway
I got away without a scratch
Yakiba: You hide behind interns with no other presence.
Elly: "Nobody made it all the way home with her. Sadly."
Narrator: Except now, as they are on the prison docks on the Hellion Lavaflow, the prison's warden stands atop the prison walls.
And now CHAPTER TWO: ON THE LAM
Carolina: "I cannot believe I am missing out on precious nap time to mess with you lot."
Warden's Hat: "Me either to be honest."
Nocebo: "You could deligate to that one dude and take a nap."
Mammon: "Same here. Really, the whole thing is a wash."
"Who's gonna notice five or six missing inmates? You deserve your you-time."
Mannfred: "I can't help but notice we're spending a lot of time talking when we could be *running for our lives instead!!"
Carolina: "Unfortunately, I need this prison to remain escape-free in order to ensure future naps."
"And for that"
"I need all of you to die."
Nocebo: "Sorry, I can't die. Too pretty for it."
Prinwise: "Nobody buys that excuse, doc!"
Yakiba: "I think not."
Mammon: "And there are still too many islands I don't own."
Mannfred: "I haven't filled out my life insurance paperwork yet."

Nocebo turns to Prinwise. "Did you just volunteer for a no-anesthsia stuffing-replacement?"
Mannfred: "And dying would play absolute hell with my schedule."
Prinwise: "I conveniently didn't hear your question, doc."
Carolina: "Okay, I think we've established your guys' really bad motivations."
"But even is talking is a free action, I really have a lot of sleeping to catch up on."
even if*
Mannfred: "I think 'not wanting to die' is a pretty solid motivation!"
Carolina: "Don't be a wimp!"
"It'll only take a moment!"
Elly: "Mmm..."
"If you die. Wouldn't that mean you could have all the sleep you want?"
Nocebo: "I don't trust ametuers like you to do a clean job!"
Carolina: "Uh no being dead isn't sleeping."
"Wow."
"Okay, I think I'm just going to. Burn you all to a crisp now."
Elly: "...wow. Wow. I knew those guys were lying to me...]
Carolina: ROLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL initiative
Nocebo: 5
Mammon: 8
Carolina: 12
Mannfred: 5
Yakiba: 18
Mannfred: wow
Elly: I was going to say xD
16
Carolina: Some good rolls!
Prinwise: "All right Yakiba!"
Yakiba: (they will totally be our downfall)
Mannfred: "Wait, we're actually fighting her? Are you crazy?!"
Prinwise: The black line there is the outer wall of the prison, of which Carolina is standing on.
Mannfred: "...Don't answer that."
Mammon: "Okay, Matty?"
"She's a witch."
Prinwise: It'll take two movement to go up there. Ranged techniques can hit up there no problem though.
Mammon: "What do witches do? Blow things up. From a distance."
"Do you REALLY want to turn around and get on the boat without beating her senseless first?"
Mannfred: "Yes!"
Yakiba: "Ah, for a moment I was worried."
Elly: "It wasn't fun the last time, either..."
Mammon: "I feel like you're missing the point."
Yakiba: "I have no range, you see..."
Carolina: "Oh. Hi there."
Yakiba: Conveniently, though, his starting position and 5 Move gets him onto the wall no problem
Carolina: CONVENIENT THAT

Mannfred rubs his temples. "They don't listen. Nobody EVER listens."
Yakiba: And usual stance shift into some direly-needed extra evasion
TURN END
Carolina: "Huh. I thought for sure you were going to try hitting me."
Yakiba: "Oh, right. I forgot about that for a moment."
Carolina: "You don't have to."
Yakiba: "Why not try? No bad field tests."
Here comes the spinning punching attack. Kind of feels a little wasted on a single target though 7 Agi
well see that's why I said those high initiative rolls would sink us
Carolina: 10 agility defense.
She spins her scythe around deftly, deflecting the blow.
"Don't tell me you thought I was a slacker at close-range combat."
"It's just so much work, y'know?"
Yakiba: "Ha, of course not."
Prinwise: "Elly is up next! You can do it!"
Elly: Can the pen attack reach her since it's ranged?
Prinwise: From down below yes. (You still need to be closer though, since that only has a range of 4.)
Elly: ./nod nod!
Elly seems a bit conflicted by this...
"Oh!"
"Warden's Hat! I'm going to attack her!"
"Try to be careful!"
She seems much better now.
Carolina: "Why do you care about my hat!?"
Warden's Hat: "And I have a name! It's-"
Carolina: "Nobody said you could talk!"
Mannfred: "I don't know why she cares about anything. It's better to just not ask."
Elly: "But you said it was a free action..."
Carolina: "Not for my hat."
Elly: Evelyn rolls her eyes and gets into position.
She whips out her pens and aims for the warden! (While trying to miss the hat.) 10
Carolina: 17 dexterity defense
Once again, her scythe moves in a blur, knocking the weapons away.
"The title of Warden isn't just for show. It's a sign that I'm the strongest, able to keep everybody in line! It's thanks to that title that I can nap so much!!!"
Elly: She frowns, and instead, sets up a barrier in a place that is hopefully more convenient for everyone.
End turn!
Carolina: "Well that's just not going to do at all."
Elly: "You're just going to walk around it... aren't you..."
Carolina: "Naaaah."
"I'll Nullify it though."
Elly, roll aura!
Elly: 14
Carolina: 13
"......That didn't. Work out quite as planned."

Elly sticks her tongue out at Carolina.
Carolina: "Everyone, let's agree that never happened.
Right?"
Mannfred: "I honestly can't believe that didn't work."
Elly: "Okay."
Mammon: "Guess you're just going to walk around it after all.
Carolina: "Yeah."
She hops down off the wall.
"And this is the part where I kill all of you."
Yakiba: "That looked more like straight through to me."
WELL THAT'S A BIG TARGETING AREA
Mannfred: sweet fancy moses
Mammon: "Maybe fighting a witch on a narrow dock was not a tactically favorable--"
Carolina: Aura vssssssss
14 Yakiba
13 Elly
15 Mammon
15 Mannfred
17 Nocebo
Carolina: 12 Prinny Squad
18 Prinwise
Elly: ...RIP Prinwise
Mammon: 10 Int
"SON OF A BITCH"
Yakiba: 11 sub Muscle
Prinwise: 2!!!!!!
Mannfred: 16 int
Prinwise: Well.
Nocebo: 8 Aura
Mammon: Oh.
Yakiba: AW NO, OUR MASCOT GOT CRIT
Elly: 11 Aura
Mammon: Also, rolling for the other Prinny too, right?
Prinwise: Yes.
Mannfred: "'She's a witch', you said, 'we have to fight her' you said!"
Prinwise: They use your stats.
Mammon: 11 Dex
Mannfred: "IDIOTS!"
Mammon: Er, that one being for the Prinny.
"THIS IS WHY, MANNFRED."
"SHE WOULD HAVE BLOWN UP THE MAGOG DAMN BOAT."
Prinwise: So everybody is hit! Except Mannfred.
Mammon: "IT'S NOT THAT COMPLICATED."
Mannfred: "This wouldn't have happened if we'd just run!"
"You know, like sensible people!"
Nocebo: Are we on fire?
Yakiba: "We may as well BE fire at this point."
Prinwise: 46 to Mammon
44 to Elly
43 to Nocebo
50 to Yakiba
The prinnies fall
The barrier is blown up
Prinwise: Prinwise takes 77 damage
Carolina: "...Oh."
"This is a lot more survivors than I was expecting."
Mannfred: "Well, we can't all get what we want."
"I, for example, wanted to get on the boat and forget this ever happened."
Yakiba: "We're the protagonists! Who do you think you are, the final boss?"
Carolina: "Plot twist!"
"Your story ends here."
Mammon: "What part of 'boats are destructible' are you having trouble with, exactly?"
Prinwise: "M-Mammon... avenge me....!"
Prinwise coughs up some smoke.
Then falls over dramatically.
Mannfred: "That argument holds a lot less water now that you're health's in the red."
*your
Mammon: "Why? God, nevermind."
Nocebo: "Quit your bitching!"
"Take a swim in the lava if this is bothering you so much!"
Mammon: Rezzing the Prinny! His Prinny, not the oneith the hat.
Prinwise: Poor Prinwise.
Mammon: And then getting as close as he can to "out of the way" while said Prinny takes a shot for him.
9 Dex
Prinny Squad: "This is for Prinwise, dood! He was an example to us all!"
Carolina: 9 dex
...IT HITS!
Prinny Squad: AMAZING
Carolina: The prinnies are the first ones to get a hit in!
Yakiba: Prinny really can be the hero
Mammon: "Well I'll be damned, you did something useful."
Carolina: 27 damage!
Prinny Squad: "We've gotta defend our honor as Prinnies, dood!"
Carolina: "WELL I know who's dying next."
Prinwise: "Mannfred... it's all up to you now....!"
Carolina: "How are you even talking aren't you dead?!"
Mammon: "We're doomed."

Nocebo narrows her eyes at Prinwise.
Yakiba: "I have an idea..."
Mannfred: "Is it better than running? Because I'd really like to hear it if so!"
Yakiba: "Fighting a witch on a narrow dock over a sea of lava isn't a great idea for anyone-"
"-including the witch"
Mannfred: "I think I see where you're going with this."
Yakiba: (TL;DR: FLING HER OFF THE SIDE)
Mannfred: "I don't like it, but I see it."
Carolina: +1 Valor to Yakiba for coming up with a viable plan!
Elly: Elly pats down the last of the embers caught in her headware. "Please. I don't think my clothes can handle another attack."

Mannfred sighs. "Can't believe I'm actually listening to you." And looses a bolt of force! 14
Carolina: 17 aura sub
A wall of fire springs in place in front of her, blocking the force-bolt!
Mannfred: "Yknow, I figured something like that'd happen."
Carolina: "To think I could be napping right now..."
Using a support / move action this turn?
Mannfred: Just the move
Yakiba: (oh right, I forget whether we can use Toss on enemies in this)
Carolina: (No. Toss is allies-only.)
(Well, allies-and-geo-symbols-only.)
Yakiba: (okay, just absolutely had to check)
Mammon: (Weren't the wrestlers last time tossing us? Or were those Reposition techs?)
Nocebo: "I can't believe you guys-are you clustering up so she can hit you easier?"
Carolina: (Those were all reposition techs flavored as tossing.)
Mannfred: "I'm hiding behind the tank."
Mammon: "I was trying to avoid that."
Yakiba: "Her spells are large enough that it probably doesn't matter!"
Carolina: "The ninja has a point."
Nocebo: "Right now, pretty boy, you're the tank, I'm the healer. And as healer, I have one sacred duty above all others, patching up your asses and pouring the blood back into your veins."
Mannfred: "Your bedside manner could use a little work, though."
Elly: "Isn't that unhealthy? What if the blood touched the ground?"
Mammon: "Yeah, honestly, even if it had any chance of working, hiding behind the almost-dead healer while you're the least injured person here would be a jackass move even by our standards."
"By the way, Dr. Nocebo, I'd just like to say you're looking lovely today."

Mammon is kind of dying.
Nocebo: "Oh, don't worry, I'd filter out any contaminants and use silver nanoparticles to sterilize it."
Prinwise: "I could use a pick-me-up too."
Mannfred: "Look, do you want me to move again? Because I'll move on my won damn turn."
*own
Elly: "Oh good."
Nocebo: "Prinwise, you only get healed if you promise to stick your damn oar in."
Prinwise: "I can't hear your requests doc I'm too injured"
Nocebo: "Anyways, I have something to do first..."
"HEY WARDEN! We're gonna keep you from getting any naps today! You're gonna have to fill out Paperwork to explain this!"
Carolina: "NOT IF I KILL YOU ALL FIRST"
Nocebo: Intimidate 16
Carolina: 9
Nocebo: "PAPERWOOOOORK"
Carolina: WELP she is shaken by the thought of paperwork
Elly: Just like any good warden would be /sage nod
Nocebo: "And now, Pyramid power for the rest of you!" Healing Elly and Mammon for 33, not much, but every bit counts.
Mammon: "Thank you, magic woman."
Nocebo: There are literal glowing pyramids around you two.
Elly: Evelyn would wonder about how effective this is, but instead i just going to press a hand against her chest and sigh in mild relief.
Prinwise: "UMMMMMMMMM"
Elly: All this fighting is getting super stressful!!
Prinwise: "Did you forget about me?"
+1 VALOR, NEW ROUND
Nocebo: "No, but Elly has 100% priority for heals, and Manny is actualy shooting people."
Prinwise: Also an extra +1 ro Mannfred, Mammon, and Nocebo for their continued snark
"WAIT... Wait, I can feel the, uh, healing... energies?"
Mammon: "I'm so grateful for the heal, I won't be insulted by that name mixup."
Prinwise: "And I'm better! Thanks, doc!"

Yakiba jumps down from the ledge into a three-point landing
Mannfred: "Don't worry, I'll be insulted on your behalf."
Carolina: "Eight points."
Mammon: "Good, good."
Elly: Elly raises up a sign that says "9"
Nocebo: "Pyramid Power, Wooo!" It's the really good stuff you guys, and don't doubt it for an instant.
Seriously, don't doubt it.
Yakiba: "Now, for the moment..."
The air around them can be felt moving, but not where to specifically. This has to work!
13 Muscle attack vs Carolina
Carolina: 15 dex sub
Mannfred: it didn't work
Carolina: WHOOPS she moved out of the way.
"Too slow!"
Although that should actually be 14
Yakiba: (it would hit with a Teamwork)
Mannfred: does anyone have enough valor for that?
Yakiba: (Mammon might?)
Mammon: Well...
Yeah, sure.
Let's bet it all.
Yakiba: Lay down some covering fire!
Carolina: Carolina is pushed into the lava!
Mammon: dakka dakka "I AM NOT GOING TO DIE IN OR NEAR A PRISON" dakka

Nocebo has a sneaking suspicion that this won't be the end of the Warden.
Carolina: And hit for 42 damage!
"Oh no lava! My only weakness!"
She sinks into the lava
A moment later, some snoring can be heard from that general direction.
Yakiba: "Now that she's asleep, we move. Quickly."
Prinwise: "This seems like a good time to run for the boat."
Mannfred: "Yes, absolutely, let's go and forget about all of this."

Elly holds tightly to her hat and runs for the boat. You don't have to tell HER twice.
Nocebo: "Unless she's just bluffing but ehhh, we can keep the fight up on the boat."
Mammon: "Prinnies, form up! You're going in the cargo hold!"
Elly: As she does she stares at Prinwise. "Weren't you dead?"
Mannfred: "Does that thing even have a cargo hold?"
Nocebo: "He got healed from the backwash."
Mammon: "If we don't want our voyage to smell a lot like sardines, it damn well better."
Prinwise: "I'm too cute to die anyway."
Mannfred: "I'll take sardines over prison, now let's go already."
Elly: ...she holds up a sign that says "-2"
Nocebo: "We can discus the sinister implications of the prinny living through that later."
Mammon: Mammon kicks back, since presumably we just timeskipped to the boat.
"Ahh... nothing like a job well payed for."
"Prinwise?"
Elly: Elly has taken out her book and is starting to write in it. She may be pointing it to each of the other occupants as she does.

Mannfred is rowing, and doing a terrible job of it with his little noodle arms
Prinwise: Prinwise tries a hand at rowing as well, but fails completely.
"So, yes, paid for. I'll definitely pay once we've made it across the lavaflow."

Nocebo erects a temporary screen and bandages her own wounds."
Prinwise: "I've got the nicest little pad."
Mannfred: "Can... can someone take my place here? I think I'm about to faint."

Yakiba rows very competently, but is also trying to see if he can't get enough spare bits to put an engine on this thing. Probably not.
Prinwise: 1
Nope. Not enough spare bits to make much of anything.
"But you guys were really something back there! We faced the Warden and lived to tell about it. Kinda won, even! By somebody's definition!"

Nocebo shoves Manny over once she's re-dressed and takes over, but is kinda shitty at rowing to.
Mannfred: "Prinwise, she literally fell asleep in the middle of the fight. Nobody's going to brag about that."
Prinwise: "....."
"Kinda won."
Mammon: "You're underestimating the Netherworld's most boastful mercenary."
Prinwise: "A little bit."
Mannfred: "I for one am looking forward to not telling anybody about any of this."
"If they heard about my stint in jail back at the office, my reputation'd be in shambles."
Prinwise: "...Wouldn't they know about you being arrested though?"
Mammon: "Yeah, getting caught is a little embarrassing, but everybody loves a good jailbreak story. Especially if nobody's ever broken out of said jail before."
"That kind of talk is great for business."
Mannfred: "For you, maybe. This isn't going to help my chances of a promotion one bit."
Prinwise: "Why do you even assume you still have a job-"
Nocebo: "Has it occurred to you that you might have been framed to get rid of you, and they'll just arrest you again if you head back?"
Row row row the boat...
Mannfred: "What was that? It sounded a whole lot like you not rowing!"
Prinwise: "Wow he really is middle management."
Elly: She closes and taps Mammon with her elbow.
Mammon: "This is why I'm self-employed."
Prinny Squad: "I wish we were, dood..."
Mammon: "SHUT UP AND RW"
ROW
(because two people can't row a boat this big right)
Elly: She opens the book and points it in Mannfred's direction for Mammon to see:
http://s3.amazonaws.com/thumbnails.illustrationsource.com/huge.16.81427.JPG

Mammon cackles maliciously.
Mammon: "Setting aside certain area of effect-related mishaps, you're alright, kid."
Yakiba: "All I want right now is to find my transportation. I never told you what I was charged with, did I?"
Mammon: "Not that I recall."
Prinwise: "Being a ninja?"
Mannfred: "I don't see why we'd care even if you did."
Yakiba: "It was a traffic violation, actually."
Prinwise: "Wow, I can't believe I'm sharing a boat with the worst sort of criminal."
Mammon: "Tax evasion, here. Supposedly. I preferred to think of it as flexible filing."
Elly: She closes her book again. "Oh. We're doing story time?"
Mannfred: "Fraud, bribery, and conspiracy to murder for me."
Elly: "...liar."
Mannfred: "What? It's what they said when they took me in!"
Nocebo: "I think that I was booked for practicing medicine with a licence, without a licence, theft, fraud, and a whole bunch of stuff."
Mannfred: "I don't know why I'd get shipped all the way out here. usually that'd just be a sentence in the Mail Room or the party Hole."
Yakiba: "Isn't that what goes on in most businesses anyway?"
Elly: "I changed the title of the Overlord to 'Former Overlord'"

Nocebo looks impressed.
Prinwise: "Ohhh, I heard about that one."
Mannfred: "You can do that?"
Elly: "Sure."
"It wouldn't keep."
"I mean, once the Overlord did something Overlordy it already changed back."
"But yes."
"I am a contract demon."

Elly reaches into the meta and changes Mammon's title to Madman.'"
Elly: Music plays and everything.
Prinwise: "HUH."

Prinwise hides his title.
Yakiba: "You may want to put that back."
Mammon: "I still don't see why you latched on to me being crazy."
Elly: "Isn't that a good thing?"
Mannfred: "No, it'd definitely the bad kind of crazy."
*it's
Mammon: "Manny says it's bad, so I guess it is good!"
"But seriously do you think you can do 'Great Mercenary?" The usual 'Mercenary' doesn't always cut it."

Nocebo is quite impressed with all this.
Elly: "Sure. But it'll go back once you do something..."
She does it again and the title reads: [Super Keen Mercenary.]
Prinwise: "I wonder what happens if you set somebody else's title to Overlord?" Ponders.
Mammon: "Well, it's not what I asked for, but it'll do."
Elly: "I'm not sure I can do that..."
Nocebo: "I guess that wouldn't stick unless you acted the part all the time? Or not even then..."
Elly: "That might be against the rules."
Mannfred: "It's probably a bad idea to be called an Overlord when there's already one running around."
Prinwise: "I'm just saying, I'd make a pretty great Overlord."
"Right?"
Yakiba: "I doubt it."
Mannfred: "...Yes. That's exactly what we're saying."
Mammon: "You do have a hat."
Mannfred: "Reach for the stars, buddy."
Prinwise: "See, Yakiba!? They get it!"

Elly changes Prinwise's title to [The Overload.]
Prinwise: "Wha- HEY"
Mannfred: "Eh, it's close enough."
Prinwise: "Wow. I thought you were on my side!"
Nocebo: "I'm on my own side, your side just happens to be standing next to mine."
Elly: She sits down and kicks her feet out. "But if I wanted to make those titles stick, I'd have to pay a price." She nods.
Mannfred: "Is this a 'blood sacrifice' kind of price, or a you need to pay a fine' price?"
Elly: "Well, those ones are easy. I can do those for a few HL."
"But Overlord..."
"I might need to take the souls of a city of people for that one..."
Narrator: Meanwhile, while the party continues their banter (on a boat) ---
Carolina: "Well, that was a nice nap."
".....Oh."
"They're gone."
Warden's Hat: "Good deductive skills, I can see why they made you Warden."
Carolina: "If I wanted your opinion, I'd ask you for it."
Warden's Hat: "You never ask."
Carolina: "Exactly."
Sigh. "But since they've escaped, now I have no choice but to report this to higher-up."
She pulls out a cell phone. Dials a few numbers.
Ring! Ring!
Ring! Ring!
Ring! Ri-
?????: "CAROLINA!!"
Carolina: "Okay, I expected this, but I was kind of hoping it would wait until after I gave a reason for it."
?????: "You had better have an excellent reason for calling. I had. A perfect combo. On expert mode. And you ruined it with your call."
"What is it?"
Carolina: "I have no idea what those words mean in that specific combination, Overmayor."
"But basically...."
"You know how my prison has never had any successful escapes?"
?????: ".........."
Carolina: "Yeeeeah. So. That reputation took a hit."
"Had a couple escapees."
Escapers?
Escapees?
Whichever.
?????: "Oh. Is that all?"
"Look, track them down and kill them. Or I track you down and kill you. Either way, my reputation is fine."
"Now I have a song to replay. Good bye."
"....And next time text me before you call."
Click
Warden's Hat: "Well that was a thing."
Carolina: "Come on, nameless hat. We have some prisoners to track down."
Warden's Hat: "I have a name. It's-"
Narrator: Back to you guys.
The Hellion Lavaflow is taking a while to get across, as you can probably expect by its massive size.
Nocebo: "We have sails on this thing, don't we?"
Narrator: No.
Nocebo: grumble mutter.

Nocebo has lost faith in her noodle arms.
Narrator: As you pass a giant rock outcropping on the lavaflow, you notice something.
Elly: "Oh!"
"A penny."
Narrator: A blue portal opens.
A man steps out.
The portal closes.
?????: "There you dirty, rotten, no-good thieves are."

Nocebo sits up straighter.
Nocebo: "Excuse me?"
Mannfred: "...So, does anybody know this guy, or are you all as lost as I am?"
Yakiba: "There's a lot we've been accused of, but none of those things are theft."
Elly: "This is a rare one too. It's from 635--oh, hello."
Mammon: "Hm... got nothing to say to that, personally."
?????: "You say that, but I see the lot of you are all liars then."
Jamil: "The name's Jamil."
Yakiba: "Neat. Why should we care?"
Jamil: "And that's a mighty fine boat you all have there."
Elly: "Oh."
Jamil: "I should know."
Elly: "I've heard of Ill Jams."
Jamil: "IT'S MY DAMN BOAT!"
Elly: "Are you related?"
Mammon: '
"Oh, yeah, the boat. We were kind of in a hurry."
Jamil: He snaps his fingers.
More blue portals open.
Mannfred: "Yeah, we'll return it when we're done, honest!"
they really won't
Jamil: "I'm takin' it back right now."
Nocebo: "UHHHH"
Jamil: "And you're all fixin' to go right into the lavaflow."
TO BE CONTINUED
Nocebo: "Nnnnnnoooo?"
Mammon: "You could just hop on for now and we'll get off at the mainland."
Mannfred: nope, too late, BATTLE TIME
Shika (GM): Too late BATTLE TIME
Stop expecting demons to be reasonable guys
Mammon: Mammon is used to them being bribable, but has no assets.
Nocebo: looks up Powerful Blow
Mammon: Also, too many witnesses to see him shoot them in the back and take the bribe money back.
Elly: Elly comes back out, bringing out her stand. Its noticeably more banged up than last time.
"The heroes have faced a new man, the one and only -- Ill Jams!!"
She pulls out a VERY hastily-made paper doll of Jamil. Its so hastily made, the ink seems a bit watery.
"Yo-yo-yo, what are you doing macking my ride, haters, I'm gonna mess you up."
Mannfred: "He doesn't talk like that. Nobody talks like that."
Elly: All of the hero dolls move away, Mannfred's doll is still missing an arm. "OH NO!"
...
Mammon: "I'm pretty sure nobody's macking on the boat."

Nocebo watches with rapt attention.
Elly: "The Mannfred rushes middle stage -- along with Mammon for that quip."
"WHO WILL SAVE US?! They yell with the voice of a deflating balloon."
"DON'T WORRY, I WILL SAVE YOU!" The Elly doll is out... dressed like a rapper.
Mammon: "I was just questioning the villain's motivations!"
Mannfred: "I don't even know what to say anymore."
Yakiba: "I'm thinking this isn't actually his boat and he just wants it for himself."
Elly: "HEY, MR. ILL JAMS. I CHALLENGE YOU -- TO A POETRY CONTEST!"
"Um, if that's okay."
Nocebo: "You rock his socks off with those beats!"
Elly: The Jamil doll scoffs. "WHAT YOU TALKING ABOUT GURLFRIEEEEND. I AM FAR TOO FLY AND SMEXY TO BE BEATEN BY THE LIKES OF YOU, DAWG."
"WE'LL SEE ABOUT THAT!"
Mannfred: "This is painful. I'm being physically hurt by the things coming out of your mouth."
"It's worse than being stabbed, if we're being perfectly honest."
Mammon: "'Smexy?' This Ill Jams is such a poorly-written character."
Elly: "Next time on Parrapa Rappa my Mappa Clappa Happa the III -- THE FINAL FACE OFF."
"I'm actually not sure if I'm doing this right, guys..."
"...I think I'll just stick to plays..."
Nocebo: "I think...yeah, that might be okay."
"Rocky road?"
Elly: "Mm!"
Shika (GM): So now the session is officially over
you all did v good against the Warden
good job guys
Comrade Q.: yaaaaay!
Vehrec: I guess we'll find out how much damage lava does to normal people next time.
Mammon: We would have been halfway to a TPK if she'd lasted another turn or two.
Elly: We owed our victory to Yakiba this time
yeah seriously ^^;
Awe: I figured there was going to be at least one weird puzzle fight
Comrade Q.: maybe next time we fight her we'll actually win
Shika (GM): I had a way to save yer guys' butts in the wings if it had come to that
but that is the power of a 2-level gap
Awe: I did notice the +8s
Vehrec: I had suspicions that she might be a Master instead of a normal Elite
but those were dashed by her health bar.
Mammon: Nah, we'd have been getting wrecked WAY harder. For one she'd get double attacks
.
Vehrec: well like I said, suspicions. From like...last week.
Mammon: Ah, yes.
Ethan: ANYWAY later nerds.
Shika (GM): o7
Elly: \o\
./o/
Comrade Q.: seeya!
Shika (GM): thank you for freezing firefox that is totes what I wanted

Shika (GM) goes to reload all my windows now
Vehrec: oh dear
Shika (GM): OKAY and I got myself a spreadsheet ready I'm so awesome
We seem to be short a few
Awe: and I forgot to food but I think I can try to multitask
Shika (GM): I do not believe I can run short two peeps tho
Prinny Squad: Woohoo, not last!
Shika (GM): I can run one short tho
We'll give argent until :10 until Elly is NPCed
WELP guess it's time.
Narrator: WHEN WE LAST LEFT OUR HEROES
they had been floatin' nicely on the Hellion Lavaflow for a bit
Mannfred: our "heroes"
Narrator: pretend every time the word heroes is used
that it is sarcastically

Vehrec has a very heroic backstory actually.
Narrator: anyway, they were floating along until some demon jerk showed up
and demanded his boat back

Nocebo less so.
Mammon: "It's just a boat, man. What is it worth, like 500 HL?"
Mannfred: "I really don't think we're in a position to negotiate here."
Nocebo: "I don't think he's gonna give us a chance, he's just mad."
Jamil: "It has sentimental value."
"If you want to buy it from me, I will accept no less than I'M NOT SELLING YOU MY DAMN BOAT!!!"
Mammon: "I'll sell it back to you for 5000."
Nocebo: "Yeah, he mad."
Mannfred: "Stop haggling, you're just making him angrier!"
Archer: "Wow, that sounds like a pretty good deal."
Jamil: "NO IT'S NOT"
Nocebo: 7
Yakiba: 17
Jamil: .......
Nocebo: Look, it's obviously time to roll initiative.
Jamil: Wow Yakiba
Mannfred: 14
Mammon: 15
We sort of took the initiative with rolling initiative.
Jamil: Jamil: 5
Yakiba: Quick to Act plus high Agility = never not going first (almost)
Jamil: Archer: 8
Wood Golem: 8
Elly: 11
Jamil: Yakiba has seized the initiative!
Prinwise: "Come on, we're demons! Just beat them up and take the boat!"
"Show them what we're made of, Yakiba!"
As he cowers in the back of the boat.
Yakiba: "Perhaps not what you're made of."
Prinwise: "I'm made of cotton."
Mammon: "I saw a potential opportunity to make 5000 HL and I did my level best."
"No apologies."
Mannfred: "I shouldn't be nearly as surprised as I am, but here we are."
Yakiba: "Now, you're made of wood. You'll probably handle the Lavaflow worse than the last demon we dunked in it."
11 Muscle vs Golem
Wood Golem: "Meh." 6
Hit!
Yakiba: This punch seems to be a vicious left hook...
center goes there, unless it has Immovable
Wood Golem: 45 damage!!!
Goes where?
He moves... one space!
Yakiba: "Ah. I should have expected such."
Wood Golem: "'m well-rooted.
"
Any support action?

Yakiba gets into his dodging stance.
Yakiba: [turn end.]
Prinwise: "Come on, Netherworld's Greediest Mercenary, let's do this!"
Mammon: That seems like a perfectly reasonable use of diagonals where he's not brazenly jumping over lava.
Anyway let's toss a penguin.
Prinwise: Bye penguin
Mammon: 7 Int
Wow.
Wood Golem: 12 muscle sub
Mammon: "That was so disappointing."
End turn.
Mannfred: "So, par for the course for you, then."
Wood Golem: He still takes 7 chip damage
Which if you think about it
is still p good for a prinny's attack
Mammon: "I'm the Netherworld's most a lot of things mercenary, but 'disappointing' will never be on the list."
Mannfred: "You're right, that'd mean somebody would have to expect something from you first."
Prinwise: "Let's settle this disappointment talk. Mannfred, why don't you show him how it's done!"
Mammon: "Okay, Prinwise? Buddy. You realize what kind of position it's gonna put me in if he doesn't flub this."
"He'll be slightly more unbearable than usual, forever."
Prinwise: +1 valor to Mammon and Mannfred for this btw
Mannfred: "I will as soon as I take care of those geo panels."
"Since I'm apparently the only one who's worried about those."
Yakiba: "They were far distant, and irrelevant to what I set out to accomplish."
Nocebo: "Not the only one."
Mannfred: Setting up an intern and force-blasting the top right archer 11
Nocebo: (Try and keep a 3x3 square full of 4 enemies please :D)
Yakiba: (or maybe you can make it _more_?)
Archer: 8 dex sub
She ded
Yakiba: (in all seriousness though what are the geo symbol effects since I haven't seen them)
Mannfred: "...Okay, now I said was going to take care of the symbols, but understand this is the first step in a multi-layer plan."
turn end!
Archer: Elly's turn!
Nocebo: she cute
Mammon: "Okay, we're in the clear."
Elly: She doesn't seem much for banter today. She gives a luck boost to Nocebo (+1 attack), moves, then attacks some of the bottom archers
Targeting top middle, bottom middle, bottom right;
9 dex vs 14
9 v 15
16 v 11
Botto mright one bites the dust!
Archer: And now you all get to feel the terror of Flunky-class archers! Peppering everyone with arrows!!!
Nocebo: Oh no!
Archer: These are all dex attacks;
VS Nocebo 12 14
VS Mannfred 16
VS Elly 13 vs 16
VS Mammon 14 7
VS Yakiba 15 14
Archer: EVERYONE roll defenses.
Mammon: 10 11 Let's dex.
Yakiba: 12 15 double dex defense
Nocebo: Aura subs both 11 7
Mannfred: oh jeez 7 subbing int
amazing
Yakiba: oh, I forgot my own boost
no change in results from "one hit" though
Archer: Mammon. Mannfred, and Yakiba are both hit once, Nocebo twice

Nocebo throws up a shield but the first arrow shatters it and the second one sails through undisturbed and slices through her neck.
Nocebo: A shallow but obvious wound.
Archer: Mammon 19 damage, Yakiba 15, Nocebo 16x2, Mannfred 28
Aaaaand
Nocebo: OH GOD
Mammon: "Okay that's a REAL DICK MOVE"
Mannfred: "Oh, come on!"
Archer: Aura vs Nocebo 15
Aura vs Mannfred 6
Aura vs Mammon 11
Roll defenses
Mammon: 11 Subbing dex.
Mannfred: 8 aura
Nocebo: 8
Mammon: Dammit, so close.
Nocebo: Aura and so burned.
Mammon: His sweet air-jump almost saved him.
Archer: Mannfred is gloriously unharmed by the lava
Nocebo: He seems to be standing on a temporary magic barrier.
Mannfred: "Please, they used to dunk me in this stuff all the time back when I was an intern."
Archer: Mammon is hurt for 33 damage, Nocebo for 23
And are on fire
Mammon: "I can't imagine why. Burn!"
Yakiba: "You appear to be bursting into flames."
Mammon: "Also, OH GOD, BURN!"
Prinwise: ".....Can we give the boat back?"
Nocebo: "I'm...I"M GOONA HUG YOU ALLL"
Yakiba: "At this point, most likely not."
Mammon: "I never give anything to anyone for free!"
Mannfred: "Besides, look what they did to my tie? I couldn't forgive anyone for this!"

Nocebo has her clothes smouldering and is trying to threaten the archers with the first thing that comes to the mind.
Wood Golem: Wood Golem takes a step, and swings an arm at Yakiba. 9 muscle attack
Mannfred: The arrow did, in fact, pin his tie right to his chest.
Yakiba: 9 muscle defense
wow, dice
Wood Golem: +1 valor to Nocebo for the hug threats
Yakiba is SMACKED for 13 damage
"Hu hu hu, see the power of WOOD?!"
Yakiba: "Save that for if you're ever in bed."
"I don't want to hear it."
Wood Golem: Nocebo's turn
Prinwise: "Cure youself, doc!"
Nocebo: "I Would If I Could!"
Prinwise: "What kind of healer can't self-heal!?"
Nocebo: "Sh-Shut up! I'm an amazing doctor! You don't understand the genius of my methods!"
[1d2]
2

Nocebo clamps her mouth shut and pulls herself back onto the ship and charges across the battlefield.
Nocebo: (Move+support action for +2 moves)
Prinwise: (She also takes 8 damage from being on fire.)
Nocebo: owowow...

Nocebo grabs her chemicals, throws them together on impulse and hurls a smoking vial into the center of the remaining archers here.
Nocebo: 15 top left, 11 bottom left, 15 bottom mid, 16 top mid.
Archer: Bottom left is the only one who can even possibly survive 11
nope
Nocebo: "Hah--HAHAHAH! SEE THAT?"
"Screw 'Do No Harm, I'm incredible!"
Prinwise: "That's our doc! Can't heal anyone, but can kill flunkies with the best of 'em!"
Nocebo: "I can heal anyone who's not me, jerkass!"
1 to avoid boasting
nope
gotta spill the deets.
"I've healled everyone without any real magic or medicine this whole time!"
Mammon: "That seems like an unfortunate weakness for the only healer in what I am forced to describe as our party."
Nocebo: healed*
Mannfred: "Wait, what?"
Prinwise: "How did you even get your license!?"

Elly is conveniently too busy reading to hear any of this
Jamil: "....What kind of morons stole my boat?"
Jamil ends his turn.
Mammon: "You're not involved in this, Jimjams!"
Jamil: NEW ROUND +1 VALOR ALL
Nocebo: "What do you guys care about my licence, huh? My healing works, and it's cheaper than the normal kind."
Mammon: "Yakiba!"

Yakiba begins a strange, meaningless low chant as he gathers more air.
Yakiba: "What?"
Mannfred: "You know, I'm not sure what to be more impressed by."
"The fact that Nocebo lied to us, or that she kept it up for so long."
Mammon: "Oh, no, continue. Looks like you've got a good thing going."
"Would have liked to get tossed out of the lava but I hate to interrupt a good special attack."
Yakiba: "Oh, this is just the same thing I did last turn."
"But hey, if it hits the golem dies, so..."
Mammon: "Yeah, it seems like a better priority."
"Respect."
Yakiba: 11 Muscle vs Golem

Mammon is still on fire.
Jamil: +1 valor for that convo
Wood Golem: 9!!!!!!!!
45 damage
Yakiba: "Oh, I guess not."
Wood Golem: Where he movin' to?
"Wood... is STRONG!!!"
Yakiba: "I could have sworn that it was at exactly half health"
up and to the right, give Mammon a little more room to climb up
Wood Golem: (He also took an increment from a muscle defense)
Yakiba: (ooooh, right)
Prinwise: "Mammon. please leave the lava." 11 ongoing damage.
Mammon: "NO, REALLY"
Prinwise: "Yes really!"
Mannfred: "No, stay. It's fine in here."
Mammon: In fact, he's gonna cash in some Valor for a Burst of Speed.
Prinwise: "I'm worried for your health!"
Mammon: And then use his normal move action on an attack he's had since the start but had no occasion to use before!
BULLET DANCE
Prinwise: I would love to say that is awesome but
Mammon: He hops, skips and jumps over all four of the Archers, shooting wildly--
Prinwise: He has vitality limit on that move
And he is in critical.
Mammon: Oh shit, I forgot.
OKAY.
Mulligan on the whole turn? That overdrive was kinda pointless now.
Much less excutingly, he's just gonna revive that Prinny and give it another toss Archerward.
Archer: "We can take on a prinny!"
Mammon: 13 14 Int
"CAN YOU TAKE ON AN EXPLOSION"
Archer: 7
Nope
they ded
Mammon: And that'll do.
Jamil: "Wow, these guys are useless."
Mammon: "I'd just like to announce to everyone that we can now use the green Geo Block to our advantage, once we get these last two out of the way.
And that's why the Netherworld's most cunning mercenary ignored it."
Jamil: "You wouldn't...."
Yakiba: "I actually can't. No range, remember?"
Mammon: "Well, it was kind of a general 'we.'"
Nocebo: "The blue one though, we should probably push him off that and let me sit on it for a while.
"Or shove it on a green pannel."
Mammon: "You mean cheese it for extra between-battles healing?"
Yakiba: "You're closer, why don't you do it?"
Mannfred: "That might be a good idea, actually."

Mannfred is remarkably calm for somebody standing waist-deep in magma
Mammon: "That sounds both clever and tedious."
Nocebo: "I'm not gonna heal without cheese!
"Stupid build, why didn't I spend time getting a tiny self-heal?"
Mannfred: "You can't regret these things, doctor, we can only look ahead."
"I for example would love an attack that doesn't require me to remain stationary, but..."
Mammon: "I could use more HP."
Yakiba: "Right now, or in general?"
Prinwise: "I wouldn't mind having actual battle stats myself."
Mammon: "I'm a total glass cannon, and it'll be forever before I can start using the Prinnies as meatshields."
"Yakiba: yes."
Mannfred: "Does anyone here have more than 130 health?"
Argent B.: (Hi sorry about that)
(Gonna be a bit slow at first sorry!)
Mannfred: well, at least you're here now
Prinwise: Elly is no longer an NPC woo!
Mannfred: "Speaking of attacks." 8 squeezing off one more shot on that wood golem
Wood Golem: 10
DEFENDED WITH MUSCLE
"HA!!! I STILL HAVE ONE HEALTH!!!"
"WOOD POWERRRR!!!"
Mannfred: "Okay,seriously?!"
Nocebo: "Is one health really that much...?
Mannfred: "Ugh. Whatever."
Wood Golem: "All it means is that I have to not get hit again!"
Mannfred: "Sure. Good luck with that."
hold on I actually need to figure out how to erase shit
Yakiba: "That health bar certainly looks empty to me."
"I have... ninja vision."
Wood Golem: "If you zoom in real close you can see it."

Nocebo zooms in 200%
Yakiba: "I already am zoomed in real close."
Mammon: "It's like one pixel even then."
Wood Golem: "ONE PIXEL IS ENOUGH TO SURVIVE"
Mannfred: welp, that's my turn over
Wood Golem: Elly, you ready?
Pen is Mightier was used first round by NPC-Elly, so it's still on cooldown.

Nocebo is hurt bad, and burning slightly. "Hey Elly, go grab the blue geosymbol and toss it towards a green square, huh?
Wood Golem: We'll hold off Elly's turn until argent gets back
which means
Nocebo: oh nooooo
Archer: MAMMON DEFEND
Dex attacks! 10 8
"I feel like we're kinda picking on this guy."
"But he's also the only one in range so what can we do?"
Mammon: 13 7
Mannfred: "Thank Magog, it wasn't me this time."
Mammon: Overdriving the one that hit.
Archer: "Whaaaaat!"
Mammon: "That's right, ladies! He can dance, too!"
Archer: "Our arrows were ineffective!"
"Are you telling me this guy isn't a total loser!?"
Mammon: "Okay, I was gonna kill you anyway, but now I'm gonna really mean it."
Mannfred: "Well, I wouldn't say that."
Mammon: "Go back in the lava hole, Mannfred."
Mannfred: "Ha! Se? I told you you'd finally get my name right!"
*see
Wood Golem: HI GUYS
Mammon: "I got tired of that bit last time!"
"I mean at least pay attention, god."
Wood Golem: "Roooooooooooot Snare!" MUSCLE VS
9 Yakiba
5 Mannfred
Yakiba: 8 to Defend
Mannfred: 7 with Aura
Wood Golem: 9 damage to Yakiba, and he is slowed, ensnared by roots!

Mannfred conjures a giant hovering spreadsheet to shield himself
Wood Golem: (-1 movement)
Yakiba: "I have brought dishonor upon my name... or, I would have if I hadn't done that some time ago"
Prinwise: Nocebooooo

Nocebo moves a bit... and waits for Elly to concur...
Nocebo: Well since she can't nod with her face in the book, We'lll just toss her anyways.
Over to there.
Prinwise: TOSSED
Nocebo: and I think I'll trade my attack action for a support to put the fire out, if I can.
Prinwise: I'll allow it
Nocebo: woooo
Mammon: "Maybe I should try to put myself out, too."
"...Nah."
Jamil: "Guess it's about time I did something, huh? I shouldn't rely on the help to get my ship back, after all."
Mannfred: "It's a better look for you anyways."
Jamil: "Especially when they're all so useless."
Mammon: "OH, SURE"
"THAT"S NICE"
Jamil: He seems to prepare something, then ends his turn.
NEW ROUND?
+1 valor all!
Elly will gain her valor after taking her turn :|a
Prinwise: "Come on, Yakiba!"

Yakiba begins spinning up for an attack, which is also spinning.
Yakiba: 12 Dex vs Golem
Wood Golem: 4 muscle sub!!!
Nope.
His luck has run out
"No... my..... WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD"
Yakiba: The momentum from the spin carries him forward after the golem falls.
Mannfred: "Finally. 'Wood' was starting to not sound like a word anymore, he said it so much."
Mammon: "They do say that shouldn't last more than four hours."
"You know, Giant wood."
"Eh? Eh?"
Mannfred: "Stop."
Yakiba: He'll also prepare another Pressure Fist with more air.
"You realize that's what I was getting at with the bed comment a couple rounds ago, right?"
Mannfred: "Subtlety is lost on these people."
Mammon: "We can share the giant wood jokes."
Jamil: "...."
"Wow. I kind of want to give you my boat out of pity now."
Elly: "Really?"
Jamil: "Except no I'm still just gonna beat you up and take it back."
Elly: "Okay."
Jamil: Oh is Elly here
Elly's turn then!
Mammon: "YOU'RE STILL NOT INVOLVED JAMMY"
Jamil: "IT'S MY BOAT!!!"
Mannfred: "Well, we were using it last, so technically it's our boat."

Elly sets her book down. Wow. 50 Shades of White is definitely something a demon shouldn't read.
Jamil: "THAT IS NOT HOW OWNERSHIP WORKS!!!"
Elly: Its so... wholesome. Yech.
Mannfred: "Tell that to the old Finders Keepers Statue."
*statute
Jamil: "THAT DOESN'T EXIST!!!"
Mannfred: "Really? Must be a local thing."
Yakiba: "You doubt his mastery of arcane corporate bylaws?"
Jamil: "Aren't you all escaped criminals?"
"Why would I NOT doubt ANYTHING you say!?"
Elly: Lessee
Mannfred: "If it helps, most of us were framed."
Jamil: WELP there goes Nocebo's toss out the window
"Yeah like I'll believe THAT one, glasses."
Elly: Oh. Can I undo the move?
Jamil: shore

Elly blinks a bit and looks around.
Elly: "Nocebo. You're hurt."
Mammon: "We got shot into lava. It didn't seem important enough to interrupt your book."
Jamil: "I laughed a bit."
Mammon: "But if you could toss that blue block closer to the green panels, that'd be swell."
Mannfred: "I would've laughed if I wasn't in the lava too."
Elly: "But wouldn't the boss monster be healed too?"
But, on the other hand... Nocebo.
Mammon: "We'll cross that bridge when we're not burning to death."
Jamil: "To be fair, I'm not even hurt."
Elly: "Wow."
"You guys are stinking this fight."
Yakiba: "Just let us deal with him."
Elly: "It was a good thing I was reading."
Mammon: "THROW THE DAMN BLOCK!"
Yakiba: "Also he's not even hurt because his heart is filled with cowardice."
Jamil: "My heart is filled with desire to get my damn boat back."
Mannfred: "It's okay, Jamil. I'm a coward too."
Yakiba: "Oh? Then how do you explain doing nothing with your entire first turn?"
Jamil: "You were all kinda far away? And I only have 3 move."
Elly: She picks up the block aaand... tosses it as far as she can!
Mammon: "Exactly what a coward would say."
Jamil: "Say that to my face."
Mammon: "Exactly."
Elly: Wait, can't I also use an attack for as support?
Mammon: "What a coward."
Jamil: You can
Mammon: "Would say."
Elly: And I will!
Mammon: ...BY WHICH I MEAN
Close enough to "to his face!"
Anyway, Prinny time.
Elly: She'll also try to protect Nocebo a bit... in what little way she can!

Prinny Squad whimpers. "Please stop throwing me, dood."
Mammon: "No."
Elly: There!
Mammon: 10 10 9
Elly: Okay now I'm done ^^
Jamil: Whoops it looks like you've triggered a COUNTERATTACK
Mammon: "Oh for fuck's sake."
Mannfred: we sure do love those!
Jamil: Before the prinny explodes, Jamil holds out a hand. "BOOM, BABY!"
Aura vs
15 Mammon
9 prinny
Mammon: WOW.
12 I need a perfect roll to dodge this. Int sub, by the way.
Fuck.
14 Dex for the Prinny, anyway.
Jamil: An explosion of fire just burst out of nowhere
32 damage on Mammon
but the prinny survives, so the attack still goes through!
Defenses;
Jamil: 8 aura sub
Archers: 6 14
Mammon: Well, that should knock Jamil off the green space, at least?
Jamil: Jamil takes 28 damage
Sorry but geo symbol effects only apply when the master is standing on them
Companions don't get their own buffs or debuffs
Mammon: Damn.
"I'd just like to take this chance to complain about being on fire."
Jamil: Mammon is no longer on fire
Elly: "Mr. Maniac."
Mammon: "And the squeaky wheel gets the grease!"
Elly: "I question your ability to make good decisions."
Jamil: I can't remember if I took off the fire damage at the beginning of his turn or not
Mammon: "I'm still dying though."
Jamil: so we'll just assume I did
"Not too shabby, for the Netherworld's most useless mercenary and his prinny."
Mammon: "If I hadn't spent so much time on fire, I would be murdering you so hard."
Mannfred: movin up, summoning a new intern, and sticking Jamil with a memo 9
I sure did give up my attack action for a 9
Jamil: 9 muscle sub
hit!
"Downsized!? But I'm my own boss!"
Mannfred: "Sorry, orders from the corporate office. Nothing I can do!"
Elly: She hops over the Geoxymbol aaand...
Tosses it over to the green panel three to the south of Nocebo!
"Um... sorry you got so hurt... Ms. Nocebo."
"Do try to get better..."
End turn.
Archer: HEY MANNFRED GUESS WHO IS CLOSE ENOUGH FOR AN ARROW
7 dex
Mannfred: OH BOY
Archer: Well.
Mannfred: 7 aura sub
ahahaha
Archer: 28 damage!!!!!

Mannfred tries to child himself again, but the arrow sails right through and sticks him in the shoulder
Archer: "Super effective!"
Mannfred: "Too close! This is what I get for standing too close!"
Archer: Nocebo!
Prinwise: "Don't be a wimp, Mannfred!"
"Every man takes a few arrows in their life!"
Mammon: "After Elly and the enemy, you are the least dead person here."
Yakiba: "No, the archer doesn't count."
Nocebo: "Fall back if you're that concerned!"
Mannfred: "Somehow that doesn't make the arrow in my shoulder hurt any less!"
Elly: "Well. It could be worse. It could have been the knee..."
Nocebo: in her own self interest, Nocebo is gonna squat here and heal. :P
Prinwise: +10 health!
Elly: "I hear that there's one kingdom that had a crisis with that problem."
Mannfred: I can't believe Elly just memed on us
Nocebo: "I hear that's a metaphor for getting married."
Mammon: I can't believe it was a meme from 2011.

Jamil checks his health.
Jamil: "You still haven't hurt me enough yet, huh."
Yakiba: "That's extremely unlikely for him, actually. Who would go for a pasty middle-manager?"
Jamil: "I'll go ahead and give you guys a warning."
"I'm a fighter who gets stronger the less health I have."
Mammon: "Nobody cares."
Jamil: "Enjoy my attacks while they're at their weakest."
Mannfred: "Hey! I'll have you know I've been in a number of successful relationships!"
Elly: "Oh. Thank you."
Mammon: "Your boat sucks and we're gonna burn it when we get to shore."
Yakiba: "If all goes according to plan, that won't matter."
Jamil: "Boom, baby!"
Aura vs
7 Yakiba
8 Mannfred
amazing rolls
Yakiba: "Actually I want to scrap it for parts but same oh wait hold on"
Mannfred: 15 int sub
Yakiba: 15 dexterity sub
Jamil: His explosion is easily avoided!
New round~! +1 Valor!
Yakiba: "You're not ready." 7 Muscle vs Jamil
Jamil: 11 muscle
Yakiba: nah
Overdrive!
Jamil: He moves to parry the blow with a boat oar, but is overpowered!
Yakiba: The sudden blast of air throws him into the lava.
Jamil: 45 damage!
Yakiba: "Now, you're on fire."
Jamil: And 13 aura vs his 7 aura
Hit! For 26 damage
"Excellent."
Anything for support actions?
Yakiba: and Support Action to get dodgy again.
Jamil: Mammon's up then!
Prinwise: "I knew there was a reason we kept the ninja around."
Mammon: "OH SWEET HEALING GEO PANELS"
"Aaaahhhh..."
Without turning to look at her, he casually shoots the last archer in the face.
8
Archer: 12
HE CAN TRY
Mammon: He should have turned to look at her.
Support to reload.
"Look, can you just..."
"Can you just take five?"
Archer: "Okay."
"Look I'll be honest, I'm not digging this fight any more. You kind of killed all my teammates, and now all that's left is this dude calling me useless."
Jamil: "YOU ARE"
Mannfred: "So you're not going to shoot at me again?"
Elly: "You know. That sounds like it would make an excellent book."
Archer: "Sure."
Elly: "Have you thought about writing your autobiography?"
Mammon: "He does seem like a pretty awful boss."
Yakiba: "I suggest taking revenge for petty insults."
Prinny Squad: "B... b... but.... d-dood..."
Mammon: "Shut up, Prinnies."
Mannfred: "Aaaaanyway." He thrusts a hand out, aiming to blast Jamil and push him further into the lava 13
Jamil: Aura sub 8
Where to?
Mannfred: two squares straight down!
Jamil: "I AM NOT LIKING THIS ANY MORE"
Any other actions?
Mannfred: "What's that? You said you'd like some more? Well, alright!" Mannfred gestures, and a wall of red tape brings into place
Jamil: "WELL THEN:
"
Prinwise: "He's actually pretty useful when he puts his mind to it!"
Mammon: "I can't believe I'm saying this."
"And I mean it really boggles the mind."
"But good work, Manny."
Yakiba: "You truly are a master of arcane corporate bylaws."
Mannfred: "Wait, did you seriously just compliment me?"
"Is there a catch here or something?"
"I feel like you're about to say 'but'."
Yakiba: "Although being able to use them to hire medics or something would be really nice."
Elly: Elly will just get closer, waving Nocebo as she walks by
Mammon: "You did something useful for once! I can respect that."
Mannfred: "When have I ever not been useful? Name one time!"
Mammon: "I'm the Netherworld's fairest mercenary."
Prinwise: (Is that it for Elly's turn?)
Elly: Well, there's no sense in not making that barrier worse
Mammon: "Oh, it's just a sort of... general air of uselessness."
"It's an attitude."
Prinwise: (brb real quick)
Yakiba: (also maybe trade your attack for a move? That's a thing you can do)
Mannfred: "That's what my first boss said, too."
Elly: Oh!
Okay I'll trade attack for a move
Prinwise: You can only trade for HALF a move
(Attack -> Support -> 1/2 move)
So more like
there-ish
Elly: kk
I'll take it!
Archer: The archer sits down and pulls out a cup of tea.
Takes a sip.
End turn.
She's not about to wreck that barrier.
Nocebo!

Nocebo has a hand over her wound and struggles internally. Who's healing is most important here? 1
Nocebo: Selfishness wins out. She's gonna squat right here and grab another 10 HP
Mammon: Honestly that's legit.
It'd take her like three turns to get into combat range anyway.
Nocebo: so
SLOOOOOOW

Nocebo needs more dexterity but there are only so many points to spend.
Jamil: As for Jamil
"I GOT MY BOAT BACK"
Mammon: "Get back in the lava! It's your new home!"
Mannfred: "Sit in the lava and think about what you've done!"
Elly: "Actually. I think the Prinny still has imminent domain."
Jamil: He pauses a moment, as if preparing something-
And end turn
Prinwise: "GUYS, SAVE ME?"
END ROUND
+1 VALOR
Mammon: So.
Mannfred: "Relax, you're barely even a threat. He probably won't attack you."
Yakiba: "I remember seeing that. He's going to counterattack."
Mammon: If the Prinny being on a Geo Panel doesn't matter if Mammon isn't.
Prinwise: "But I'm the most beautiful one here."
Mammon: Does Mammon being on the Geo Panel buff the Prinny no matter where the Prinny is?
Prinwise: Yes.
Mannfred: "That's... debatable."
Mammon: Bitchin'.
Yakiba: "It's probably best to split up, judging by his use of explosives."

Yakiba chooses to defend!
Mannfred: "Fair enough. I can still hit him from here anyway."
Mammon: Mammon picks up his go-to Prinny, whch immediately begins weeping.
Yakiba: "I couldn't reach him and still attack."
Mammon: "No, no, I've actually got a job for you now."
He whipsers in where its ear would be if it weren't a stuffed penguin.
Prinny Squad: "O-oh! Got it, dood!"
The Prinny shoots wildly at Jamil's kneecaps as he stands right on the edge of the boat. Fall back into your lava home and stay there.
7
Oh for fuck's...
Jamil: 16
Prinny Squad: Overdriving won't even help.
Jamil: Jamil casually deflects the bullets with FIRE
Mannfred: wow
Prinny Squad: "I'M GONNA THROW YOU FOR FUNSIES LATER"
Mammon: *MAMMON SAID THAT
Prinny Squad: "DOOD!"
Mannfred: "Unbelievable. They're a worse shot than you are."
Prinwise: "Useless! Prinnies are useless!"
Jamil: "I'm not sure if I'm supposed to comment on that, or...."
Archer: "Maybe they just need to get in some target practice?"
Mammon: "They are target practice."
Archer: "Fair enough."
Sips her tea.
Elly: Evelyn claps at that display.
(of fire)
Mannfred: "Speaking of targets." 11 pushin Jamil off that boat
Jamil: 8 aura sub
"Please stop that"
Where to?
Mannfred: "No."
up-right diagonally, to slam him into Elly's barrier
Jamil: First,
Aura 14 vs his 14
75
is his total damage
"OKAY"
Elly: My barriers are boss, yo
Jamil: "NOW THIS IS A BIT MUCH DON'T YOU THINK?"
Elly: (my barriers aren't that boss)
Mannfred: "Hmm. Not really, no."
Nocebo: "If you beg for mercy, they might let you off with just this much of a beating..."
Mammon: "Nah, I'm feeling pretty vindictive at this point."
Mannfred: "This wouldn't have happened if you just let us keep the boat."
Mammon: "I could have avoided this fight AND made 5000 HL!"
Jamil: "BUT IT'S MY BOAT"
Mannfred: "Not anymore it isn't."
"Elly, finish him off, will you?"
Elly: "Do we really want the boat, though?"
"I just wanted a ride..."
Mammon: "This is about more than the boat!"
Yakiba: "We're not done with the ride."
Mannfred: "Do you want to swim all the way back to civilization? We're taking the boat!"
Jamil: "And what are you even going to DO with my boat when you're done with it, you jerk!?"
Elly: "Mr. Ill Jams, is there any way you could just take us across? You could have your boat after."
Mammon: "I'm still fond of the burning idea."
Yakiba: "I'm still fond of the use it for building something else idea."
Mannfred: "It's in a lava flow, though. Could take a lot of fire."
Jamil: "I think that depends on your friends, Ms. Only-Reasonable-Member-of-the-Group."
"They seem pretty keen on DISMANTLING MY PRIDE AND JOY FOR PARTS"
Mammon: "Okay we made that offer as a group, like... a wekk ago."
week.
Yakiba: "And you didn't listen then."
Mammon: "You made this bed."
"Rest in pieces in it."
Elly: "Yes, but the big difference here is we've beaten him within an inch of his life."
"So, maybe he's more open to negotiations."
Mammon: "UGH fine."
Mannfred: "People are generally a lot more open to negotiation when they're on fire, it's true."
Nocebo: "I hate to say it, but I think Elly has a point."
Mammon: "He can live."
"If he gives me money."
Jamil: "I'm flat broke."
Nocebo: "Tell you what, I'll pay his wereguild if you're that insistant."
Elly: "So, since you're not able to use money, you're just going to have to barter your body."
Archer: "Wait, wait, hold up. HOLD UP."
Mannfred: "Elly, no."
Archer: "HOOOOOLLLD UP"
"IF YOU'RE BROKE"
Mammon: "Eh."
Archer: "HOW WERE YOU GOING TO PAY ME?"
"Guys kill him."
Mammon: "He's like a seven at best, I'll take the money."
Elly: Elly quickly works up a draft. Quick. That archer looks mad.
Mannfred: "Welp, you heard the woman. I could take or leave you people, but I can't stand bad bosses."
Elly: "Mr. Ill Jams. This deal says that you will agree to give us use of your boat to the next destination. And that you won't do anything stupid like double cross us. It also says that you will use your muscles to row. And that there won't be any complaining. Even when Mr. Madman decides he wants to get more work out of you."
Yakiba: "Just get on with it."
Elly: "In exchange, you will get the boat back. (And we can leave the Archer here)"
Archer: "Wait what was that last part"
Jamil: "Okay."
Elly: "Sign." She extends it over the lava flow.
Jamil: "Wait. Hold on... pen, pen...."
"OKAY, pen!" Signs.
Prinwise: "Well, it IS Elly's turn. I guess we can't argue with the results."
Archer: "I can! I wanted to get paid!"
Mammon: "Me too."
Mannfred: "Well, as long as it means I don't have to row, I guess I'm fine with it."
Archer: "Especially since all my comrades died! That means TEN TIMES the normal rate since I'd get their shares!"
Elly: Elly weighed the turn order in her negotiations :D
Mannfred: "Let's just get going. We've spent enough time screwing around here."
Archer: "Although I guess we failed. So."
"Maybe half rate?"
Mammon: "Honey, listen."
Elly: "Would you settle for being the other half of physical labor and in exchange we won't abandon you here?"
Mammon: "This is why you get paid up front."

Nocebo wonders if she should mention that the four she took down will probably wake up in an hour or so because she didn't actually use lethal chemicals.
Mammon: "I mean, I reluctantly made an exception with these people, but it was an emergency."
Jamil: "All right guys, back onto the boat then. I'll get you to the other shore, no problem."
"We're leaving the archer behind though, right?"
Archer: "Wait what-"
Mammon: "Sorry. Nice not getting shot at by you for part of that time."
Mannfred: "Yes, okay, alright, let's just go. The warden's probably woken up by now."
Archer: "How am I supposed to get off this rock if you leave me here!?"
"Come on guys! Remember the fun times together? Me not shooting you?"

Elly waves the second contract in Archer's field of vision.
Mannfred: "You shot me! Twice!"
Archer: "But nobody here likes you?"
"Do you even count, really?"
Mammon: "She makes a good point. Let's keep her."
Mannfred: "I like me..."
Narrator: AND SO
THE HEROES (sarcasm) CONTINUE WITH THEIR JOURNEY
WHAT ADVENTURES AWAIT THEM NEXT?
WILL THE WARDEN CATCH THEM BEFORE THEY MAKE IT TO FREEDOM?
FIND OUT NEXT TIME
to be continued etc
Shika (GM): I'm amazed everybody survived
Good job guys
Mannfred: me too, tbh
Yakiba: honestly so am I
Nocebo: amazing
Mannfred: I'm even more surprised I got some mileage out of that barrier tech
Mammon: Either you're a much harder GM than Prof or we're grossly incompetent.
Nocebo: we split the party
Mammon: Both fine explanations, of course.
Nocebo: We have only one healer
Mannfred: we're an entire party of glass cannons
Nocebo: and Nocebo can't heal herself so she didn't heal anyone.
Shika (GM): You're an entire party of glass cannons
although tbh
It wouldn't have been nearly as bad if you guys hadn't still been recovering from First Base
Half of you were going in at half health
Yakiba: that's why I try to be a dodgetank to compensate
why do you think I never spend a turn without Great Evasion on
Shika (GM): You guys wrecked Jamil's shit at the end, too
Yakiba: If those barriers had been perpendicular he'd probably have been in for a worse time, I think
Mannfred: just stay in the lava
Shika (GM): Mannfred wrecked his shit bad with that one hit
He has a bunch of stuff that only activates at critical, but Mannfred took him from half-health to almost-dead in one attack
Mannfred: he's never going to let anyone live this down
Elly: And I am pleased that Elly's contract demon-ness actually paid off here xD
Shika (GM): ANYWAY GOOD GAME
CATCH Y'ALL NEXT WEEK FOR BOATING SHENANIGANS
Mammon: Farewell!
Elly: Oh right
Awe: C U then
Mannfred: later!
Elly: I may be late next week
I'll keep you guys informed!
Argent B.: So apparently the "might come late" thing is next week :D;
Shika (GM): :|b
aw'iiight
Nobody's missing?
Excellent
Who's READY???????
Comrade Q.: I'll never be ready
Ethan: I've made preparations.
Argent B.: I got lube~
Vehrec: Iyan.
Awe: I've got it under control
Narrator: When we last left our not-actually-heroes, they had just commandeered Jamil's boat, again. This time, with Jamil!
Jamil: "Yes, I'm here. Woo."
Mannfred: "Less fourth wall breakage, more rowing."

Elly is fanning herself with the newly made contract, looking more than a little pleased with herself.

Jamil is doing all the rowing.
Jamil: "And why isn't she helping?"
Mammon: Jamil can't do ALL the rowing.
It won't be fast enough.
Archer: "I'm far too delicate for that."
Mammon: The Prinnies are on it too.
Jamil: Okay, that's better.
Prinwise: "Me too."

Nocebo is still in fairly bad shape, and has a doctor's excuse to not row.
Mammon: Yeah, Mammon is kicking back and sending himself some healing vibes too.

Elly has muscles perfectly suited for flipping pages.
Yakiba: Yakiba is not convinced that he needs to row, even though he'd be quite good at it.

Mannfred openly admits he sucks at rowing so he can get out of doing it

Archer and Prinwise have set up a game of Demon Poker in the back of the boat

Nocebo is watching said game, lost in thought.
Elly: "Ohh... I have a question for you all."
"What do you plan on doing when we get off of this boat?"
"That seems like it'll give lots of interesting responses."
She claps her hands, taking out her book and a pen.
Mammon: "The first thing I'm damn well gonna do is get paid."
"Then I figure I'll look for another job, so I can get paid again."
Prinwise: "First thing I'm doing is paying him so he doesn't throw me."
Yakiba: "I must reclaim what is mine. However, it was likely seized in my arrest."
Mannfred: "I'm going to go home, take a nice, long bath, go to sleep, and forget this ever happened. Hopefully they won't dock my pay for everything I've missed."
Prinwise: "Uh, you don't have a job any more."
Nocebo: "Depends on where we get off." The doc scratches her chin. "I might be able to get back on my feet within 24 hours."
Prinwise: "There is literally a negative percent chance you are still employed."
Mannfred: "You keep putting those words in that order, but I don't quite understand what you mean."
Elly: "Can I cash in on that percent chance? That means I get something for it."
Nocebo: "Let him keep sailing up this river of his. It's very long, De-Nile."
Mammon: "He means you were let go. Laid off. Downsizd."
Jamil: "There is-" row "-no chance-" row "-that you won't be-" row "-the netherworld's most wanted-" row "-after this."
Mammon: (with an e okay keyboard)
Elly: "...wait, really?" She looks at Jamil.
Mannfred: "What's that? It sounds like someone wants to go back in the lava again."
Prinwise: "Uhh, we did kind of break out of the netherworld's only absolutely maximum security prison."
Yakiba: "Unfortunately, I don't think he's wrong."
Mammon: "Yeah, but being wanted is good for business!"
Nocebo: "So I need a new name. Do you think Doctor An works?"
Elly: "Oh wow. Oh wow. Oh wow. Oh wow."
Mammon: "It's all part of the Image. Why do you think I wear this cool eyepatch?"
Elly: "Gosh wow. Oh wow."
Nocebo: "Or should I keep Nocebo and bank on the noteriety?"

Elly vibrates.

Nocebo put a hand on Elly's shoulder.
Archer: "Maaaan, I'd hate to be you guys."
Elly: "WE'RE FAMOUS."
She's glowing.
Nocebo: "Try not to leave the boat while fangirling over yourself."
Elly: And since this is Disgaea, this is quite literal.
She whispers to Nocebo.
Mannfred: "Infamous. Not the same thing."
(From Elly): "Can I fangirl a little?"
Yakiba: "They should be, though, don't you think?"
Mannfred: "They basically are, I'm just saying for correctness's sake."
Archer: "You guys'll be hunted by the pig squad, mercenaries... maybe even the CIA."
(To Elly): Okay, go right ahead with a little fangirling.
Elly: "little squee"

Nocebo puts a hand over her chest.

Mannfred rubs his temples "I'm guessing there's no chance we can lay low until this all blows over?"
Nocebo: 'Oh lawks, the CIA. Whatever shall I do?"
Mammon: "Oh, like having to kill the occasional lawman is worse than sitting in jail."
Prinwise: "I do have a safe house in the city."
"It sounds like most of you don't plan on laying low, though."
Nocebo: "Ehh, give it a week to blow over. Medical science has forefronts to push."
Mammon: "Depends on if I meet somebody later, if you know what I mean."
Yakiba: "Didn't you spend years in there? You don't know whether it's still safe."
Prinwise: "Years?"
"Nah, I was locked up for like, two weeks tops."
Nocebo: "That was a holding cell. New intakes."
Mammon: "You really have to wonder how we're the first people to escape."
Nocebo: "Am I the only one here who's been through the Injustice system before?"
Prinwise: "It's because I'm the world's greatest, uh, prinny."
Mannfred: "I generally try to avoid being tried for crimes I never committed."
Mammon: "That's like being the world's driest fish."
Elly: Evelyn points her finger over to the people here, trying to see who would and wouldn't be in the system.
"Yes" to Nocebo. "Yes" to Mammon...
"No" to Manfred...
Prinny Squad: "Dood, we're right here...."
Elly: "No" to Yakiba.
Mammon: "Did I hear somebody not using all his breath to row?"
Elly: She nods to herself.

Archer is blatantly cheating at cards. Prinwise doesn't notice.

Prinny Squad sweats nervously and rows faster
Archer: "Ha! I win!"
"Now hand over the hat, prinny."
Prinwise: "What? Noooooooo!"
"Okay fine."

Prinwise hands over his hat. There... is another hat under it.
Elly: "Huh."
Archer: "I'm not sure what I expected."
Yakiba: "I expected this outcome exactly."

Elly kicks her feet out playfully. She's already making plans to see how many hats Prinwise has under his... hat.
Elly: "Oh!"

Jamil is rowing better than the prinnies, even as injured as he is

Mannfred sighs. "What is it now?"
Elly: "If you guys want pens. For when you get swarmed by people because of your infamy. I have a few I can spare."
She reaches into her sleeves and pops them out.
Nocebo: "Aren't those the pens you stab people with?"
Elly: "...yes?"

Mammon takes one. Never turn down anything free.
Nocebo: "I wouldn't want a girl as pretty as you to be without her prefered weapons."
Mannfred: "My entire strategy is to avoid being swarmed, thank you very much."
Archer: "Do I get one?"
Elly: She tilts her head. "...pretty?"
Mannfred: "Also, I always keep some of my own stationary on hand, just in case."

Yakiba also takes one, what if they become collectors' items?
Elly: "I don't know if I like you."
Archer: "Can I have his?" Jerks thumb at Mannfred.
Elly: "I think that requires a vote."
"I say yes."
Mannfred: "Sorry, I don't swing that way."
Archer: "Can I shove him off the boat?"
Elly: "I think that requires a vote."
"I say yes."
Mammon: "Yes!"
"Come on guys, let's rally on this one!"
Mannfred: "Hey! No! I'm a valuable asset here! You guys remember the barrier, and the lava?!"
"All Mannfred!"
Nocebo: "I vote nay and of course you are pretty."
Yakiba: "No."
Archer: Frowns.
Elly: "Aw... the ruling failed."
Archer: "Next time."
Elly: She furrows her eyes at Nocebo's words.
Mammon: "Ugh."
Mannfred: "That's what you get for relying on democracy."
Jamil: "Well, it's not like we have an Overlord here. Or an overmayor. Or an overleader at all."
Elly: "That also requires a vote."
Mannfred: "I think I'm the only one here with any kind of authority."
Jamil: "You're unemployed."
Mammon: Mammon starts laughing.
Jamil: "What authority could you have?"
Mammon: I'll let you know when he stops.
Mannfred: "Instead of thinking about that, how about we consider just how nice it is to not be in the lava?"
"And what a tragedy it'd be were that to change suddenly."
Elly: "Mmm... okay, how's this."
"First round, we say who we think should be leader."
Mammon: Still laughing.
Elly: "Second round we vote."
Mannfred: "Nobody's leading anything because we're not a party."
Elly: "We're a... crew?"
Jamil: "If we're a crew, then I'm the leader. Since it's my boat."
Mammon: "YAKIBA HELP ME OH MY GOD"
Mannfred: "No. We're not a crew, band, gaggle, assortment, or any other kind of close grouping."
Jamil: Pause. "I don't think you want me as leader."
Elly: "No. It's our boat." She raises the contract. "You get the boat back when we land."
Jamil: "I conveniently forgot how to read."
Mammon: Okay, winding down on the laughing.
Mannfred: "Gotten it all out of our system, have we?"
Mammon: "Don't... don't set me off again...haaaaaaa."
Elly: Elly's eyes furrows and her eyes begin to glow menacingly at Jamil "...you've never broken a demon contract, have you..."

Mannfred just glares at Mammon and sulks
Jamil: To Elly- "Wait, look! A convenient distraction!"
He points off in the distance.

Nocebo suddenly focuses all her attention on Jamil.
Elly: Nice try, but this is business. She IS a contract demon after all.
Jamil: Is anybody going to look at his convenient distraction?
Mammon: Mammon doesn't care about this conversation, so sure.
Yakiba: No, that's the oldest trick in the book. He's used it at least a couple times.

Mannfred looks, but only because he doesn't want to look at anybody else on the boat
Nocebo: not unless it makes some noise or you can move to look at it and him a couple of times.
Jamil: Mannfred and Mammon!
Roll intuition or resolve.
Mannfred: 10
Mammon: 8 Int
Wow, rude dice.
Jamil: Mammon, there is a giant freaking wall coming up.
Mannfred, there is a giant freaking wall coming up, and you can see guard patrols on top, search lights, and other security-like measures.
Mammon: "Question! Who's actually steering?"
Prinwise: "Me!"
Mannfred: "Turn around. Turn around, turn around, turn around!"
Mammon: "You're fucking it up."
Nocebo: "What? Why?
Mammon: "Just so you know."
Mannfred: "Because... look! Look at where he's pointing!"
Yakiba: Oh. That's not a convenient distraction.

Nocebo looks 8 int
Jamil: It was conveniently timed and distracting, okay?
Yakiba: "You partially lied to us."
Jamil: "I don't where the heck that came from. There is usually not a giant wall in the middle of the lavaflow."
Mannfred: "Oh, so this is a new features, is it?! Let's just get out of here before they notice us!"
Yakiba: Can a lowly 13 Intuition glean any more details about the wall?
I say as I max out the die roll
Mannfred: "lowly" he says
Mammon: The only one of us who's not Int-focused, too.
Yakiba: It's still only +3
Jamil: Yakiba can spot several weaknesses in the search patterns.
Elly: Elly moves closer in on Jamil. Disasters be damned, nobody forgets demon contracts. >:c
Jamil: :x
Yakiba: "...It's not impregnable, but this won't be easy."
Mannfred: "Alright, everybody lay low and keep the banter to a minimum."

Mannfred is trying desperately not to panic
Jamil: ALL RIGHT GUYS
DO YOU KNOW WHAT TIME IT IS?
Yakiba: IT'S TIME FOR A NON-COMBAT SCENE
Elly: Elly is quiet -- because this is what she's doing to Jamil right now: http://i67.photobucket.com/albums/h292/Rich-JT/Chrome.jpg
Prinwise: It's time to learn about CHALLENGE SCENES
Nocebo: noooooo
I haven't got any challenge skills yet!
Prinwise: I'll make it quick
Nocebo: I was gonna get them at third level!
Prinwise: SEE THOSE WORDS WITH NUMBERS?
Mannfred: oh damn, I didn't expect another tutorial
Prinwise: In challenge scenes, you have METERS
The meters are a range of numbers representing various aspects of a scene
Conditions vary based on what's in play.
In the case of this scene, you want to take actions to raise the progress meter. When it reaches 10, you can make it past!
If the Caught meter rises, you may have penalties to raising Progress, and eventually have to FIGHT STUFF
You're all going to roll initiative like a fight, but instead of attacking, you just describe what your character is doing to affect the meters and roll for it.
Prinwise: THAT... is pretty much it.
Nocebo: so...initiative!
8
Mannfred: 14
Mammon: 16
Yakiba: 15
Jamil: 9
Elly: 9
...how fitting >:3
Jamil: Mammon is first!
Mammon: We don't have lifeboats, do we?
Jamil: Nope.
Mammon: "If only we could set somebody expendable like a Prinny or Mannfred floating off in the opposite direction to distract them..."
Archer: "I vote Mannfred."
Mannfred: "Did you just...!" Mannfred silences himself, since getting mad about that would just make this situation worse
Mammon: "Whatever. Prinnies, row a little slower, you're making too much noise."
That's all I got.
Jamil: "I have life vests, if you want to put one on a prinny and send them downstream."
Prinny Squad: "Uhhh... aren't we sailing in scorching lava, dood?"
Jamil: "And?"
Yakiba: "That doesn't have the same fluid mechanics as water."
Mammon: "Hmmm, the screaming WOULD be a nice distraction."
Yakiba: "It's a lot thicker."

Prinny Squad 's sweating intensifies.
Jamil: "We're demons, we make it work."
Mannfred: To the prinny: "Look, it's either me or you, don't make this worse for the both of us."
Elly: "Don't think being nice to prinnies will get you out of this..."
Mammon: "Look, try taking a couple of vests and making a raft. You don't weigh much."
Jamil: Roll something for it!
Mammon: 13 Int seems appropriate.
Jamil: Success!
The prinny floats downstream, and after a few moments, attention seems to be shifted in that direction.
Prinny Squad: "Au revoir, doods..."
The rest of the squad salutes tearfully.
Prinwise: "Eh, we got more."
Nocebo: "Don't cry, that Prinny's going to a better place."
Mannfred: "I'd chalk this up as a minor expense, honestly."
Nocebo: "It's less cruel than what they do to prinnies in Celestia."
Mammon: "I do go through them like copy paper."
Prinwise: It eez Yakiba's turn
Mammon: "It's a good thing humans are such worthless sinners."
Mannfred: "At least we can agree on that. They're practically a dime a dozen."
"Most of them don't even have the courtesy to be creative."
Yakiba: The logical thing for all of us to do is stay quiet. What makes noise on this ship, other than demons?
Minimizing anything on the body that would make a sound is normal for ninja... all he has to do is apply that to this boat 12
Prinwise: SUCCESS
The boat ceases to make noises outside of the prinny's bitching
prinnies'*
Mannfred: "Okay, hold on. I think I might have something for this."

Mannfred fiddles with his phone for a while, using his superior knowledge of bureaucracy and form letter writing to send forged orders for a new patrol routine, to be implemented effective immediately, allowing them a bigger window to escape 15 int
Prinwise: jesus
success!
now BEFORE elly's turn-
Mannfred: "Ha! And they sound I couldn't make the system work for me."
*said
Prinwise: You can see a figure on top of the wall now that you're a bit closer. And even hear them.
?????: "You, tighten patrols in this area! I want everybody on highest alert! Patrol pattern omega!"
Yakiba: Is it anyone we oh yes it is.
Scorpion: 17
Somebody, roll against him.
Mannfred: 11 to issue conflicting orders
Nocebo: Ummm, I guess I can roll to avoid swearing at him. :P Unless manny beats me to the punch.
Scorpion: ALL RIGHT GUYS IT IS TUTORIAL TIME
Mannfred: UH OH
Scorpion: In challenge scenes, you can get crits and get critted. Except instead of 10, the cutoff
is 5
17 = 6 higher than 11
Mannfred: every time Mannfred does something right, the universe has to pull the rug out from under him
Scorpion: Spotlights narrow in, catching the tail end of your boat. Because of that, the guards are more on edge.
Yakiba: well he did kind of roll higher than any of us could hope to
Mannfred: "Alright! This is just a temporary setback. We can make it out of this without any unfortunate loss of life."
Prinwise: "Not counting that prinny."
Mannfred: "Loss of dignity, on the other hand, I can't guarantee."
Prinwise: It's Elly's turn now
Nocebo: "The Prinny is gonna wind up on a desert island, just you wait."
Elly: She's... glaring at Jamil. Still.
Mannfred: "Maybe, for once, something we do won't come back to bite us."
Elly: "Do. You. Know. What. Happens. To. People. That. Break. Contracts?" Her words are cold and chilling. Her teeth bite on each word.
Jamil: "I think your friend is upset."
Mammon: "Elly."
Mannfred: Hissed through clenched teeth:"*We have other things to worry about, Elly."
Mammon: "He's not gonna break the contract right now."
Elly: "We have an entire division. A division of trained professionals. They will find you. And they will kill you."
Mammon: "But they'll probably make him break it if we get caught."
Mannfred: "Just shut up about the contract already and help us get out of here!"

Jamil hasn't even broken any contract terms so there
Yakiba: "That's enough warning, don't you think?"
Jamil: "You kind of sound like our Overmayor, you know."
"Nooo, you have to follow every rule and regulation."
Nocebo: "Contracts demon dude."
Jamil: That was a mocking impression of the Overmayor, btw.
Mannfred: "That's the kind of leadership I can get behind. Not like the overCEO."
Elly: Blinks. Her normal tone returning. "Who, me? No, I'm just a lowly contract demon..."
Jamil: "Yeah, you're not on your cell phone enough to be the Overmayor."
"Millennials," he sighs.
Elly: "Uh..." Finger in hand, looking around. "What's going on...?"
"Wait, no, forget it, I see the tutorial up there."
Mannfred: "Wall. Guards. Avoiding, now, please."
Elly: She fingerswipes the air and brings the text box down.
Nocebo: "Just write up a contract to not get caught or something."
Elly: "Oh wow. This looks dangerous!"
Fingerswipes the text box away.
Mannfred: "Yes! So we'd very much appreciate some assistance."
"Especially since it's your turn and all."
Prinwise: "We are all kind of waiting."
"Well, I mean, I guess I'm not, since I don't have a turn."

Mannfred impatiently checks his watch, which he doesn't have, so he's really just looking at his wrist

Archer is still playing cards

Archer is up to three hats now

Nocebo is patient and also still staring at the wall.
Mannfred: she's wearing all of them at once
Archer: one on top of her head, one for each pigtail
Elly: "Oh, well, it would be unfair to make a contract with people who can't say so, so I guess what I can do is..."
She'll twiddle fate and try to get a few of the nearby guards to trip on invisible pebbles and shoelaces. 10 Aura
Archer: FAILURE
Scorpion: The guards are aware somebody was trying to trip them up and become more focused

Jamil tries to row them closer while the patrols thin
Jamil: 16
First crit success on the PC's side and it's the NPC, wow
Mammon: "Say what you will about that guy, he rows like nobody's business."
Jamil: +2 to progress
Mannfred: "I'll admit, he's got good work ethic."
Jamil: "Of course. I'm the best boater in the Netherworld."
Mammon: "I mean, you're really like a professional."
Yakiba: "Also, he's in just as much trouble as we are if we're caught."
Mammon: "You should consider getting your own boat."
Nocebo: "Okay, time to deploy the Not-My-Job spell. Bystander effect...goooooo~"
Jamil: "Wow."

Nocebo weaves her own magic, and suddenly the guards are assaulted by a sudden urge to pass the buck.
Nocebo: or at least...they will be if this works. 11
Jamil: Success! Barely.
Nocebo: Sombody Else's Problem.
Jamil: Back to Mammon!
Nocebo: also this spell is hecka illegal :D
Jamil: Be careful Nocebo, you don't want to be sent to prison
Mammon: So, that Prinny on the makeshift raft had some parting orders!
Once it gets far enough away....
It starts trying to shoot out the searchlights.
14 Dex
Jamil: Success!
You guys have made it to a small service gate.
The gate is shut though.
Only metal bars stand between your boat and freedom.
How do you handle this, Yakiba?
Yakiba: It's locked, presumably.
The logical thing to do would be to break the lock. Let's smash it. 9
oops, too noise
Jamil: Too noise, not enough smash.
Mannfred: oops, all noise
Nocebo: did you jam the lock. Please not have jammed the lock.
Jamil: Mannfred, any ideas?
Mannfred: Alright, bureaucracy might not be the way to go on this one. Thankfully, he's got one more trick up his sleeve
Prinwise: He does?

Mannfred whips out his phone again and dials... "Yeah, Netherworld Pies? I'd like to have ten-thousand pineapple pizzas delivered to the guard outpost on the Hellion Lava Flow. Yeah, that's the one. Just tell the to open up the service gate so I can pick it up. Thanks." 12
Mannfred: "They should be here in about half a minute. Those pizza guys get really aggressive."
Scorpion: 12
Mannfred wins
The pizza delivery guys show up, and the gate is opened
Mammon: "And they're gonna have to pay for that, too. I can't believe this is two times you've impressed me now."
Mannfred: "I'm still not sure how to feel about you praising me. Not that I don't deserve it, but it feels wrong."
Jamil: "Well, that went well."
The group makes it past the wall, and nobody is looking at this side for you guys.
Mannfred: they're all too distracted by that delicious 'za
Elly: While nobody's looking, Elly picks up the current hat on Prinwise. Surely not four!!
Prinwise: four
Elly: GASP
Nocebo: FIVE?
Prinwise: "Why are you guys going for my hat!?"
Nocebo: Three on the Archer, one in Elly's hand, and one on Prinwise....
Mannfred: "Must be a fashion thing."
Mammon: "Morbid curiosity."
Mammon takes one. Surely each one is slightly smaller than the last?
Prinwise: "I'm the Netherworld's most fashionable prinny."
There is another hat
Mannfred: "That's not a very high bat to clear."
*bar

Nocebo doesn't want a bowler but she knows where to get one if she needs it.
Elly: Elly puts the hat on top of her current headware.
Prinwise: The hat provides negative stat boosts
Elly: "Huh."
Mannfred: "Wow, it made you even worse at your job somehow."
Elly: Elly reads the description data on [Prinwise's Hat]
Mammon: "Does this mean you'd be stronger if you took them all off?"
Prinwise: "Look, we all make sacrifices for fashion."
Mannfred: 'Don't I know it."
Mammon: "I can respect that."
Prinwise: PRINWISE'S HAT: A brilliant disguise to make you think one isn't a normal prinny.
Elly: ...tweaks. It now reads. "A blatant disguise to make others think they are a normal prinny."
"heh heh heh..."
She puts it on Prinwise. Of course, as soon as it is put on, the text box changes back to how it originally was.
Prinwise: AMAZING
You know what else is amazing?
ROLL INTUITION OR RESOLVE EVERYONE
Elly: 16
Mannfred: 8 surely this can only mean good things!
Prinwise: In this case it kinda does /spoilers
Mammon: 10
Nocebo: 9
The resolve is weak today.
Prinwise: Elly is the first one to see it, peaking over the horizon of lavaflow-ish lava.
Obsidian spires, reaching up for the sky.
As they approach, more of it comes into view.
Elly: Its because she was reading the dialogue box of the challenge ;o
Prinwise: The burning fires of office buildings, the gleaming of volcanic glass.
The other side of the lavaflow.
New Hell City.
Elly: "New Hell City ahoy!!"
"...but what happened to the Old Hell City?"
Mammon: "Finally! I was getting sick of the smell in here."
Prinwise: It burnt down.
Mannfred: "Aha! Finally, civilization!"
Jamil: "I can finally get my boat back...!"
Jamil brings the boat close to a dock. The sounds of the city, the sweet embrace of civilization, after all this time...

Nocebo glances up to see wh-who's this guy?
Waiting Demon: As it pulls in, there seems to be a demon waiting.
"I've been waiting."
He doesn't actually glance up from his cell phone.
Elly: "We know. It says so in your name."
Mammon: "So we gathered."
Waiting Demon: You can hear a cheerful pop song coming from the phone. His fingers tap the screen in a blindingly fast rhythm.

Mannfred practically leaps off of the boat. "Well, you're going to have to wait a little longer, because I'm not spending another second with these clowns as long as I cana void it."
Waiting Demon: "Oh, wait, hold up."
"I'm... almost done with this song."
Mammon: Mammon looks around a bit and casually begins walking away.
Mannfred: "Nope! Walking away now! See you next never!"
Waiting Demon: 13
He doesn't look up. But.
A portal opens in the air, about 50 feet in diameter.
A giant fucking spear drops out of it.
The end of the dock is completely blocked by a giant fucking spear.
Mammon: "BAAL'S BALLS"
Yakiba: "I think this may be the Overmayor. Am I wrong?"
Nocebo: "Oh come ON."

Mannfred whirls around, murder and maybe a bit of mortal terror in his eyes
Elly: holy crap
Overmayor: "Yeah."
Mannfred: "Okay, you made your point. What the hell do you want?"
Overmayor: "I'm the Overmayor os New Hell City."
Tappity tap tap at his phone.
"I'm here to make sure you guys don't set a single foot in it."
Mannfred: "...Oh."
Jamil: "...Shit."
Mammon: "Okay, back in the boat. We'll go around."
Jamil: "Okay, get in the boat, we can-"
Mammon: "Thanks for your time, Mr. Overmayor."
Jamil: Suddenly
the entire lavaflow, including the boat, is covered in ice.
Yakiba: "We'll walk, then."
Jamil: A figure lands on the boat, shattering it to pieces.
Scorpion: "THERE you are."

Nocebo throws up her hands.
Scorpion: "I thought that pizza was too good to be true."
Mannfred: "You're welcome, by the way."
Scorpion: "I hate pineapple on pizza."
Mannfred: "...Good! Neither do I!"
Nocebo: "Oh hey. Convince this guy that he's way too high a level to fight us."
Mammon: "Sure is wrong opinions in here."
Overmayor: "I thought you lot would be too incompetent to handle this." Tap tap tap.

Nocebo points at the Overmayor to indicate who she is talking about.
Scorpion: "No need to fret, Overmayor. These demons will all die here."
Overmayor: "Oh, I agree."
"Since." One final tap.
"I just finished my song."
"Perfect combo."
Elly: In the middle of this, Elly has placed the contract into Jamil's hands.

Mannfred goes wide eyed and freezes
Overmayor: "I'll give this fight thirty seconds of my time."
"Relish it, convicts. My time isn't cheap."
TO BE CONTINUED
Nocebo: WELL
Mannfred: DAMN
guess that's that
Mammon: Are we really fighting somebody who's level 8.
Nocebo: guess it's gonna be a 'survive three rounds' type deal.
maybe less
maybe more.
Shika (GM): Oh, while I'm on it
level up to level 3 before next week
Elly: When he opens the contract it would say. "Thank you for being awesome and keeping your end of the bargain. :)
Nocebo: woooo~
Mammon: Well, that's slightly more reasonable.
Mannfred: we're marginally less likely to get party wiped!
Yakiba: ...yeah basically.
Anyway I need to kick in the other half of Yakiba's character concept a bit more
Shika (GM): I HAVE FAITH IN YOU GUYS
Mammon: PREPARE TO BE DISAPPOINTED
Yakiba: BUT YOU ALSO HAVE A PLAN FOR IF WE DO WIPE, RIGHT???
Shika (GM): NO OF COURSE NOT
Nocebo: back to jai
Jail*
Mammon: Everybody dies, campaign over.
Mannfred: did we at least remember to save?
Nocebo: Doc's parrents can bail us out.
Mannfred: I don't want to play the tutorial over again
Nocebo: she would not like that though.
Elly: Elly is tied foot to hip to your guys success :,D
Shika (GM): And hey, look on the plus side, you guys have a near-dead Jamil and a flunky archer on your side too!
Yakiba: It's a different Scene, doesn't Jamil get to recover some?
Shika (GM): And Prinwise but he's literally never contributed anything
Mannfred: maybe this'll be his moment to step up and start pulling his weight
Nocebo: doc is super-suspicious of that prinny.
Shika (GM): ahahahahahaha
Mannfred: yeah, you're right
there's still a nonzero chance of there being a secret Oddjob razor in that hat tho
Elly: Thats in his 13th hat
Shika (GM): Prinwise, so useless
Anyway, hope you guys enjoyed the change of pace from the challenge scene
you guys did good avoiding the fights
Mammon: Which means we get two fights in one now.
Shika (GM): now you get da big fights instead
I have faith in you guys not dying maybe!
Argent B.: Yeah, it was interesting ^^
I uh
hmm :|a
Shika (GM): hmm?
Anyway, hope it was fun, prepare for next week
let me know if you need help with level ups
Argent B.: I think I'm getting there o/
Mammon: Later.
Mannfred: seeya!
Shika (GM): o7
Awe: I need to think about this one...