to violator.txt

hai

This is a little random so I'll preface this by saying that this apology comes in the context of a general quest to find out what it means to do wrong/good. I'm writing this in the knowledge that my ban appeal is denied, I have nothing to gain here

tl;dr, you were right, BotoX was the single worst thing that has happened to ZE and possibly GFL (uncovering SoJa's shittery aside) and it's entirely and solely my fault, despite your/others' repeated warnings

https://puu.sh/AYQ2F/88801ef3f3.png
for the longest time I looked at this a testimony to your dishonesty, that's why I saved it, because from my point of view this was some outlandish act of indulging in pushing your own agenda

but I've noticed that, as I was writing the ban appeal, my opinion/perspective on a number of issues had shifted, so I sifted through some old posts and conversation, stumbled upon that post and figured an apology was long overdue

I'm not sure what it was that prompted me to go to the lengths I did to defend BotoX, I think at first it was a genuine belief I could forge him into someone that could exist in the server without any major issues. But I should have realized early on that I wouldn't have had that kind of patience with anyone if I didn't also appreciated them as a friend, which should have been sufficient proof of bias. As time went on it just became abundantly more apparent. I think it was also a similar thing with Kohta, albeit to a lesser extent.

In my defense it wasn't all that straight forward, there were uninformed people with actual, baseless bias on both sides blurring everything into this toxic mess. But in hindsight there was definitely a side that was right, and it wasn't the side I took.

I don't think I would've demoted you but regardless the environment I created wasn't one that meshed with your (relatively authoritarian) style (which is not a bad thing to be clear) so in that regard you got fucked too. More so by the people that promoted me in that regard, in the sense that what came after was inevitable I guess, w.e.

I guess I'm not so much sorry for that as I am for the initial BotoX struggle, for which you were still there, the Kohta/Kon situation and my general kneejerk instigative lawlessness to anything remotely authoritarian. I guess that's it. Sorry for having been a dickhead and a pain, directly and indirectly.

Good luck in life