In which The Minister keeps it real

"In the beginning was the Void," The Minister's voice filled the room.

"The Void was an infinite expanse of perfect chaos. It was a place where time and space did not matter, for there was only the Void and nothing else," The Minister began to recite the tale of creation heard and known by many across Alternia.

"The Void had many inhabitants, some of whom we have communed with. However, not all inhabitants appreciated the perfect chaos. They were imperfect, and greedy, and they wanted more. These inhabitants are called the Eight, for there were eight of them. They were released from perfect chaos, and with imperfect order, they created our universe, of strife, toil, and greed. They brought their imperfections to this universe, and are the cause of all misery here. The Eight aren't the nicest, so as a little celebration before the Void reclaims us, let's smack them down, right here, right now!" The audience cheers on the savagery to come, as Feraku looks on.

"Leighland. You're the god of extravagance and frivolity? That's your existence, extravagant and frivolous!" The audience reacts with "Oh, snap"'s, and cheers the Minister on.

"And hey, Nørstov. You claim to be the god or goddess of knowledge, but you can't even figure out your own gender!" The audience cheers the minister on once again.

"Maybe Aylwin can help you out. He's god of vision, maybe he can look down your pants!" Crys of "SAVAGE!" echoed throughout the room, as people grabbed their phones and started recording this to put on Alternia Star Slam Poetry.

"Ooh, Aylwin, stealing Varnegs' boy/girl? Brings new meaning to god of fury!" The savagery continued on.

"Oh, Kilera, goddess of patience, please give me the patience to wait for when the Void retakes this universe once and for all!" The Minister sarcastically asks Kilera, even though she's not here.

"And Craster, god of journeys, let's hope the Void's journey to our world is a short one! And Pyrite, what kind of domain is friendship? That's like being the god of muffins, or something!" Alternia Star Slam Poetry crashes from all of the page loads it's getting.

"And last, but definitely not least, Bel, goddess of death and insanity. You've done a ton of insane things, such as going away from The Void, and clearly, it's rubbed off on the rest of The Eight. Let's hope death rubs off on them too!" Cheers, applause, and mass Alternia Star Hip Hop spam met the Minister's words, as she metaphorically dropped the mic, because she doesn't have a microphone.