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- 1
- 00:02:41,939 --> 00:02:53,939
- <font color="#ffff80"><b>HD Movies Free</b>.</font>
- Please Support : Rate & Share
- 2
- 00:02:53,940 --> 00:02:55,259
- Hey! Shut off the hose!
- 3
- 00:02:55,340 --> 00:02:57,156
- There's a fucking
- faucet outside, man! Hurry up!
- 4
- 00:02:57,180 --> 00:02:59,489
- - Go! God!
- - Jesus!
- 5
- 00:03:08,820 --> 00:03:10,253
- Shit!
- 6
- 00:03:10,340 --> 00:03:13,377
- - What a piece of shit old house, man.
- - Yup, yup.
- 7
- 00:03:13,460 --> 00:03:16,258
- Fucking thing wasn't even half full.
- 8
- 00:03:16,340 --> 00:03:17,534
- Who the hell are you?
- 9
- 00:03:17,620 --> 00:03:19,451
- Oh, uh, Jake Bradford.
- 10
- 00:03:20,340 --> 00:03:21,489
- - Infielder?
- - Pitcher.
- 11
- 00:03:23,340 --> 00:03:25,900
- - What?
- - Hey! Whoa!
- 12
- 00:03:25,980 --> 00:03:28,540
- Just what we need,
- another fucking pitcher.
- 13
- 00:03:28,620 --> 00:03:29,620
- Not a lefty, are you?
- 14
- 00:03:29,700 --> 00:03:31,099
- Uh, no, no, right-handed.
- 15
- 00:03:31,180 --> 00:03:32,215
- Thank God.
- 16
- 00:03:32,340 --> 00:03:34,695
- Those guys are always so fucking weird.
- 17
- 00:03:34,780 --> 00:03:36,850
- Like Nez. I hate that guy.
- 18
- 00:03:37,500 --> 00:03:39,092
- I love Nez.
- 19
- 00:03:39,220 --> 00:03:42,132
- He's fine. He's just fucking weird.
- 20
- 00:03:44,220 --> 00:03:45,836
- Hey, I'm just gonna
- tell you something right now.
- 21
- 00:03:45,860 --> 00:03:47,691
- - Yup.
- - I hate pitchers, okay?
- 22
- 00:03:47,780 --> 00:03:49,259
- So you and me will be teammates,
- 23
- 00:03:49,340 --> 00:03:51,615
- but we're not gonna
- be friends or anything like that.
- 24
- 00:03:51,700 --> 00:03:53,133
- It might give you some kind of edge
- 25
- 00:03:53,220 --> 00:03:54,676
- if I gotta face you
- down the line in pro ball,
- 26
- 00:03:54,700 --> 00:03:55,769
- if you ever make it there.
- 27
- 00:03:55,860 --> 00:03:56,975
- I'm just not gonna do that.
- 28
- 00:03:58,020 --> 00:03:59,196
- - All right.
- - Those your bags?
- 29
- 00:03:59,220 --> 00:04:01,097
- - Wanna pick your shit up?
- - Oh, yeah. Sorry.
- 30
- 00:04:03,220 --> 00:04:06,257
- - Excuse me. Bye.
- - Yup. Bye.
- 31
- 00:04:09,300 --> 00:04:11,556
- You know, nobody really realizes
- how much water weighs.
- 32
- 00:04:11,580 --> 00:04:13,810
- You're talking about
- 62 pounds per cubic foot.
- 33
- 00:04:13,900 --> 00:04:15,116
- - Yeah.
- - You know, I tried to warn them.
- 34
- 00:04:15,140 --> 00:04:16,316
- But let's be honest,
- 35
- 00:04:16,340 --> 00:04:17,978
- that would be
- fucking amazing
- 36
- 00:04:18,060 --> 00:04:20,938
- if that fell through the ceiling right now.
- 37
- 00:04:21,020 --> 00:04:22,356
- Dude, this is a good example
- 38
- 00:04:22,380 --> 00:04:24,496
- of someone being so invested
- in what they want.
- 39
- 00:04:24,580 --> 00:04:28,334
- In this case, getting laid on an
- oversized, overpriced water balloon,
- 40
- 00:04:28,420 --> 00:04:29,420
- that they fail to see
- 41
- 00:04:29,500 --> 00:04:31,396
- the giant waterbed-shaped
- iceberg right in their path.
- 42
- 00:04:31,420 --> 00:04:32,556
- Mmm-hmm.
- Or he just finds you
- 43
- 00:04:32,580 --> 00:04:33,854
- super-annoying and ignores you.
- 44
- 00:04:33,940 --> 00:04:35,134
- At his own peril,
- 45
- 00:04:35,220 --> 00:04:37,893
- as evidenced by this ill-fated
- and ill-advised adventure
- 46
- 00:04:37,980 --> 00:04:40,175
- in mid-collapse before you...
- 47
- 00:04:40,260 --> 00:04:45,050
- I assume, being a new
- teammate.
- 48
- 00:04:47,420 --> 00:04:48,636
- Thank you, Willoughby. I'm Finn.
- 49
- 00:04:48,660 --> 00:04:49,854
- Uh, Jake.
- 50
- 00:04:49,940 --> 00:04:53,171
- - Hi. Charlie Willoughby. Hi.
- - Jake. Good to meet you.
- 51
- 00:04:53,260 --> 00:04:54,659
- Nice to meet you.
- 52
- 00:04:54,740 --> 00:04:58,176
- Did you meet the brain trust
- that perpetrated such a folly,
- 53
- 00:04:58,300 --> 00:04:59,699
- McReynolds and Roper?
- 54
- 00:04:59,780 --> 00:05:01,372
- Uh, yeah, yeah. Uh, I think so.
- 55
- 00:05:01,460 --> 00:05:03,018
- One of them told me he hated pitchers.
- 56
- 00:05:03,100 --> 00:05:04,772
- Even his own teammates.
- 57
- 00:05:04,860 --> 00:05:08,057
- Undoubtedly Glen McReynolds,
- resident All-American.
- 58
- 00:05:08,140 --> 00:05:11,018
- On the field, you know.
- Up here, benchwarmer.
- 59
- 00:05:11,100 --> 00:05:13,978
- Hey. Chapter 9 will blow your mind.
- 60
- 00:05:14,420 --> 00:05:15,489
- - Yeah?
- - Yeah.
- 61
- 00:05:15,580 --> 00:05:16,580
- Guys.
- 62
- 00:05:17,300 --> 00:05:20,895
- Is it true that our house
- is about to fall down?
- 63
- 00:05:20,980 --> 00:05:23,972
- Yeah, any second.
- 64
- 00:05:24,900 --> 00:05:26,379
- What's up, man? Jake Bradford.
- 65
- 00:05:26,460 --> 00:05:28,371
- What's up, dude? Tyrone Plummer.
- 66
- 00:05:28,460 --> 00:05:31,054
- Man, you can't even
- fuck good on a waterbed.
- 67
- 00:05:31,140 --> 00:05:32,971
- It's like having sex with a girl
- 68
- 00:05:33,140 --> 00:05:34,937
- on top of another really fat girl,
- 69
- 00:05:35,020 --> 00:05:36,214
- know what I mean?
- 70
- 00:05:36,300 --> 00:05:37,574
- - Just moving around.
- - Yeah.
- 71
- 00:05:37,660 --> 00:05:39,093
- Get out of my shot.
- 72
- 00:05:39,180 --> 00:05:40,579
- Sorry, man.
- 73
- 00:05:43,100 --> 00:05:44,328
- - Ah! Shit!
- - Shit. Sorry.
- 74
- 00:05:44,420 --> 00:05:46,396
- What the hell's wrong with you?
- You scared the shit out of me.
- 75
- 00:05:46,420 --> 00:05:48,411
- - Hey, you Billy Autrey?
- - Beuter?
- 76
- 00:05:48,500 --> 00:05:49,916
- Shit, if I was that
- pussy-whipped little bitch,
- 77
- 00:05:49,940 --> 00:05:52,374
- I'd be on the phone
- moping to my girlfriend. Why?
- 78
- 00:05:52,460 --> 00:05:54,098
- I'm just supposed
- to be rooming with him.
- 79
- 00:05:54,180 --> 00:05:56,933
- "I'm just..." Oh, damn. Yeah.
- 80
- 00:05:57,020 --> 00:06:00,979
- Uh, well, shit, if you ever wanna find
- Beuter, just follow the phone cord.
- 81
- 00:06:01,060 --> 00:06:02,254
- - This?
- - Yeah, come on.
- 82
- 00:06:02,340 --> 00:06:04,410
- You're like a lost lamb.
- 83
- 00:06:04,500 --> 00:06:06,456
- Thanks.
- 84
- 00:06:11,420 --> 00:06:13,615
- What did I tell you?
- 85
- 00:06:14,700 --> 00:06:15,996
- Hey, Beuter, this your new roommate.
- 86
- 00:06:16,020 --> 00:06:17,453
- Damn, put some pants on, man.
- 87
- 00:06:17,540 --> 00:06:18,836
- - What's up, man?
- - Hold on one second, babe.
- 88
- 00:06:18,860 --> 00:06:20,009
- Jake Bradford.
- 89
- 00:06:20,140 --> 00:06:22,700
- Jacob? Hey, how you doing?
- I'm Billy Autrey.
- 90
- 00:06:22,780 --> 00:06:24,930
- - Good to meet you, man.
- - Good to meet you.
- 91
- 00:06:27,700 --> 00:06:29,452
- - Dale Douglas.
- - Jake Bradford.
- 92
- 00:06:29,540 --> 00:06:30,636
- Hey, man, what position do you play?
- 93
- 00:06:30,660 --> 00:06:31,854
- Pitcher.
- 94
- 00:06:32,540 --> 00:06:33,540
- Well, what are you?
- 95
- 00:06:33,660 --> 00:06:34,695
- Second base.
- 96
- 00:06:37,140 --> 00:06:38,516
- Hey, I'll see you later, man.
- 97
- 00:06:38,540 --> 00:06:40,690
- Okay, Jacob. Yeah, we'll see you, man.
- 98
- 00:06:40,980 --> 00:06:43,619
- Hey, ladies!
- Happy hour is upon us at the Fox.
- 99
- 00:06:43,700 --> 00:06:45,611
- Two hours of drinking
- before the team meeting.
- 100
- 00:06:45,740 --> 00:06:47,651
- - Let's go.
- - That's what I'm talking about.
- 101
- 00:06:47,740 --> 00:06:49,860
- You guys go ahead, man.
- I've got some unpacking to do.
- 102
- 00:06:49,900 --> 00:06:52,972
- Bullshit! You're on the team now, baby!
- 103
- 00:06:53,060 --> 00:06:56,257
- Onward,
- upward and inward! <i>Ja?</i>
- 104
- 00:06:56,340 --> 00:06:57,340
- Oh, yeah!
- 105
- 00:07:04,740 --> 00:07:06,059
- Say hello, Finn.
- 106
- 00:08:15,260 --> 00:08:19,936
- Mmm-hmm, ooh,
- look at what we have here.
- 107
- 00:08:20,020 --> 00:08:21,596
- Well, look at this
- lovely bunch of ladies.
- 108
- 00:08:21,620 --> 00:08:22,620
- Let's say hi.
- 109
- 00:08:22,660 --> 00:08:24,412
- I think we should.
- 110
- 00:08:24,500 --> 00:08:27,856
- Tit-tit-tit-tit-tit-tits!
- 111
- 00:08:27,940 --> 00:08:29,578
- - Fuck off, faggots!
- - Yeah!
- 112
- 00:08:29,660 --> 00:08:31,571
- - That was beautiful.
- - Oh!
- 113
- 00:08:31,660 --> 00:08:32,809
- I love this time of year.
- 114
- 00:08:40,660 --> 00:08:42,810
- Party later tonight
- at the baseball houses.
- 115
- 00:08:43,500 --> 00:08:45,013
- Where?
- 116
- 00:08:45,140 --> 00:08:46,573
- 15th and Avenue H.
- 117
- 00:08:46,660 --> 00:08:48,571
- You know,
- just look for two beautiful houses
- 118
- 00:08:48,660 --> 00:08:50,571
- filled with Greek gods who care.
- 119
- 00:08:50,660 --> 00:08:52,173
- Okay, when?
- 120
- 00:08:52,260 --> 00:08:53,693
- When you get there.
- 121
- 00:08:53,780 --> 00:08:57,693
- And when you do get there,
- ask for me, Kenny Roper.
- 122
- 00:08:57,820 --> 00:09:00,653
- We look forward to
- seeing all of you there.
- 123
- 00:09:01,140 --> 00:09:02,619
- All of you.
- 124
- 00:09:09,540 --> 00:09:10,540
- There we go.
- 125
- 00:09:10,620 --> 00:09:12,196
- She looks like
- my fifth grade teacher.
- 126
- 00:09:12,220 --> 00:09:13,858
- She's built right.
- 127
- 00:09:18,860 --> 00:09:20,373
- Hey, ladies, uh...
- 128
- 00:09:20,460 --> 00:09:22,156
- I don't know if you guys
- are doing anything tonight,
- 129
- 00:09:22,180 --> 00:09:24,340
- but we'd like to invite you
- to a baseball party with...
- 130
- 00:09:24,380 --> 00:09:25,574
- Sorry.
- 131
- 00:09:25,700 --> 00:09:26,700
- Uh...
- 132
- 00:09:26,860 --> 00:09:28,134
- Okay.
- 133
- 00:09:28,220 --> 00:09:30,814
- - Ouch!
- - Not my fault she's a bitch.
- 134
- 00:09:30,900 --> 00:09:33,972
- Jeez, ball hit the mitt
- before you ever even swung.
- 135
- 00:09:34,060 --> 00:09:35,676
- And what was I
- supposed to do, huh?
- 136
- 00:09:35,700 --> 00:09:37,292
- You gotta notice the clues, Rope.
- 137
- 00:09:37,380 --> 00:09:38,813
- There was a typewriter in the back.
- 138
- 00:09:38,900 --> 00:09:40,556
- - Oh, yeah.
- - They're intelligent girls.
- 139
- 00:09:40,580 --> 00:09:42,356
- You have to rise
- and meet them on their level.
- 140
- 00:09:42,380 --> 00:09:43,972
- Huh? Is that right?
- 141
- 00:09:44,060 --> 00:09:45,971
- Act like you've read
- a book before. Jeez.
- 142
- 00:09:46,060 --> 00:09:47,652
- Okay, Finn, you're up.
- 143
- 00:09:47,740 --> 00:09:49,556
- - Well, I can't do any worse.
- - Here we go.
- 144
- 00:09:49,580 --> 00:09:50,899
- Take notes, boys.
- 145
- 00:09:50,980 --> 00:09:52,652
- Excuse me, ladies.
- 146
- 00:09:52,740 --> 00:09:55,208
- You know, I couldn't help but
- notice you ladies being hassled
- 147
- 00:09:55,300 --> 00:09:56,892
- by that asshole in the car back there.
- 148
- 00:09:56,980 --> 00:09:58,095
- It's a shame.
- 149
- 00:09:58,180 --> 00:09:59,836
- You know, some guys
- are just so aggressive.
- 150
- 00:09:59,860 --> 00:10:01,896
- Myself, I'm a firm supporter of the ERA...
- 151
- 00:10:02,020 --> 00:10:03,836
- Although I doubt it's gonna
- have an immediate impact
- 152
- 00:10:03,860 --> 00:10:05,498
- on the societal norm of the male gender,
- 153
- 00:10:05,580 --> 00:10:08,652
- initiating virtually all contact
- with respect to females.
- 154
- 00:10:08,740 --> 00:10:10,316
- You know, which might seem
- predatory on the surface,
- 155
- 00:10:10,340 --> 00:10:11,340
- but I assure you...
- 156
- 00:10:11,420 --> 00:10:12,489
- Trust me.
- 157
- 00:10:12,580 --> 00:10:14,969
- You should be investing
- this energy elsewhere.
- 158
- 00:10:16,220 --> 00:10:17,900
- Well, now you just
- plain hurt our feelings.
- 159
- 00:10:17,980 --> 00:10:19,076
- Aww.
- 160
- 00:10:19,100 --> 00:10:21,409
- Do you also hate guys
- that are athletic, intelligent,
- 161
- 00:10:21,620 --> 00:10:23,770
- sometimes endearingly clumsy,
- or is that just her?
- 162
- 00:10:24,620 --> 00:10:25,900
- Hey, Finn, did you mention hung?
- 163
- 00:10:25,940 --> 00:10:27,236
- I didn't mention hung, Dale, not yet.
- 164
- 00:10:27,260 --> 00:10:29,569
- Okay, um...
- 165
- 00:10:31,420 --> 00:10:32,819
- Y'all wanna know the truth?
- 166
- 00:10:32,900 --> 00:10:35,494
- Always. It'll set you free.
- 167
- 00:10:36,100 --> 00:10:38,694
- I like the quiet guy in the back seat,
- 168
- 00:10:38,780 --> 00:10:40,099
- in the middle.
- 169
- 00:10:42,220 --> 00:10:44,529
- Well, there's nothing here.
- 170
- 00:10:46,700 --> 00:10:47,700
- Lesbians.
- 171
- 00:10:47,780 --> 00:10:49,532
- Yeah! Did you guys hear that?
- 172
- 00:10:49,620 --> 00:10:51,276
- - I didn't hear anything.
- - Delusional.
- 173
- 00:10:51,300 --> 00:10:52,796
- - Freshman's hearing things.
- - No, dude.
- 174
- 00:10:52,820 --> 00:10:54,731
- Quiet, non-asshole guy
- in the back, that's me.
- 175
- 00:10:54,820 --> 00:10:56,219
- Wait, no, guys.
- 176
- 00:10:56,300 --> 00:10:58,076
- Yeah, no, I think I heard
- her say something like,
- 177
- 00:10:58,100 --> 00:11:00,056
- "The guy in the back,
- whether he knows it or not,
- 178
- 00:11:00,140 --> 00:11:01,858
- - "is a cock jockey."
- - Oh.
- 179
- 00:11:01,940 --> 00:11:05,899
- - Yeah, but I heard "cock gobbler."
- - Cock gobbler.
- 180
- 00:11:05,980 --> 00:11:07,891
- I heard, "The guy in the back seat,
- 181
- 00:11:07,980 --> 00:11:09,891
- "his cock looks like an outie bellybutton."
- 182
- 00:11:09,980 --> 00:11:11,049
- Oh, yeah. Are we mistaken?
- 183
- 00:11:11,180 --> 00:11:12,215
- That's what we heard.
- 184
- 00:11:12,340 --> 00:11:13,636
- Yeah, I can see
- how that could get threatening.
- 185
- 00:11:13,660 --> 00:11:15,116
- All right, new guy coming in,
- getting all the ladies.
- 186
- 00:11:15,140 --> 00:11:16,209
- Hey there, freshman,
- 187
- 00:11:16,300 --> 00:11:17,916
- I've fucked more girls
- than you've cranked off to.
- 188
- 00:11:17,940 --> 00:11:19,756
- - Hey, do me a favor. Stop for a second.
- - Why?
- 189
- 00:11:19,780 --> 00:11:21,020
- I wanna see what room she's in.
- 190
- 00:11:21,420 --> 00:11:22,569
- Just give it up, son.
- 191
- 00:11:22,660 --> 00:11:24,316
- This just went from "cute"
- to "restraining order."
- 192
- 00:11:24,340 --> 00:11:26,410
- Just do it. I'll buy the first pitcher.
- 193
- 00:11:28,020 --> 00:11:30,818
- Okay. Now you're talking
- our language a little.
- 194
- 00:11:34,660 --> 00:11:37,572
- All right,
- what are we looking at? Let's see.
- 195
- 00:11:37,700 --> 00:11:38,815
- Okay. Stop, stop.
- 196
- 00:11:41,620 --> 00:11:42,814
- Okay, that's her.
- 197
- 00:11:42,940 --> 00:11:44,134
- Hey.
- 198
- 00:11:45,460 --> 00:11:47,496
- All right, 307. Help me remember that?
- 199
- 00:11:47,580 --> 00:11:50,538
- - Sure, man, 309.
- - No, 307.
- 200
- 00:11:50,620 --> 00:11:53,692
- - 304.
- - Can we go now, Mr. Stalker?
- 201
- 00:11:53,780 --> 00:11:54,929
- Weirdo, man.
- 202
- 00:11:55,060 --> 00:11:56,254
- 30-12?
- 203
- 00:11:56,340 --> 00:11:57,409
- Damn. Hey.
- 204
- 00:11:57,500 --> 00:12:00,173
- - Huh? Yeah?
- - That was pathetic, man.
- 205
- 00:12:00,260 --> 00:12:03,809
- She was using you, a peasant,
- to fuck with us, the kings.
- 206
- 00:12:03,900 --> 00:12:05,420
- Look, if you'd opened your mouth, too,
- 207
- 00:12:05,460 --> 00:12:07,576
- you'd have been shut down.
- You don't see that?
- 208
- 00:12:07,660 --> 00:12:10,015
- No, I don't, actually.
- 209
- 00:12:10,100 --> 00:12:11,220
- Only been at college an hour
- 210
- 00:12:11,300 --> 00:12:13,530
- and I'm already pulling in
- the groupies, man!
- 211
- 00:12:17,100 --> 00:12:18,453
- That was a joke.
- 212
- 00:12:18,540 --> 00:12:20,417
- Got your joke right here.
- 213
- 00:12:21,300 --> 00:12:22,779
- Did he just call his dick a joke?
- 214
- 00:12:22,860 --> 00:12:24,179
- That's what he implied.
- 215
- 00:12:26,300 --> 00:12:27,972
- - To the Fox?
- - To the Fox.
- 216
- 00:12:37,140 --> 00:12:40,337
- Didn't it seem
- like most of the girls we saw today were,
- 217
- 00:12:40,420 --> 00:12:42,456
- you know, moving into
- the dorms on campus?
- 218
- 00:12:42,580 --> 00:12:44,218
- That's what we're talking about!
- 219
- 00:12:44,700 --> 00:12:46,418
- Oh, thank God. Finally.
- 220
- 00:12:47,140 --> 00:12:48,175
- Mmm-hmm.
- 221
- 00:12:48,260 --> 00:12:49,409
- Thanks, man.
- 222
- 00:12:49,820 --> 00:12:52,334
- So don't you think we would get more
- ass living on campus?
- 223
- 00:12:52,420 --> 00:12:53,756
- You know, where all the girls are.
- 224
- 00:12:53,780 --> 00:12:54,849
- No, no.
- 225
- 00:12:54,940 --> 00:12:56,658
- Have a clue, freshman. The dorms suck.
- 226
- 00:12:56,740 --> 00:12:58,492
- You guys have no idea.
- 227
- 00:12:58,580 --> 00:13:02,209
- They gave us two houses.
- Man, we've got it made.
- 228
- 00:13:02,300 --> 00:13:03,796
- No dorm resident snitches keeping track.
- 229
- 00:13:03,820 --> 00:13:06,095
- You know, den-mother types
- up your ass.
- 230
- 00:13:06,180 --> 00:13:09,377
- No centralized authority.
- It's fucking brilliant.
- 231
- 00:13:09,500 --> 00:13:11,316
- Let's just hope they don't
- realize what they've done.
- 232
- 00:13:11,340 --> 00:13:12,568
- - Oh, yeah.
- - Mmm-hmm.
- 233
- 00:13:16,260 --> 00:13:18,171
- We knew we'd find you drunks here!
- 234
- 00:13:18,300 --> 00:13:20,609
- What miserable updraft
- wafts you three hither?
- 235
- 00:13:21,900 --> 00:13:23,811
- - Oh, bite me, Finn.
- - I will not...
- 236
- 00:13:23,900 --> 00:13:24,900
- Dismount.
- 237
- 00:13:26,180 --> 00:13:27,956
- This is our third bar
- of the afternoon, boys!
- 238
- 00:13:27,980 --> 00:13:29,208
- You one of the new freshmen?
- 239
- 00:13:29,300 --> 00:13:30,858
- - Yeah, Jake.
- - Coma.
- 240
- 00:13:30,940 --> 00:13:31,975
- Hey, Alex Brumley.
- 241
- 00:13:32,100 --> 00:13:33,156
- Hey, man. Nice to meet you.
- 242
- 00:13:33,180 --> 00:13:34,408
- Nesbit. A pleasure.
- 243
- 00:13:34,500 --> 00:13:36,092
- Go get some glasses, Brumley.
- 244
- 00:13:36,180 --> 00:13:37,340
- Yeah, sure thing, dude.
- 245
- 00:13:37,420 --> 00:13:38,489
- Whoa, is...
- 246
- 00:13:38,580 --> 00:13:41,413
- Wait, Jay Niles isn't with you guys?
- 247
- 00:13:41,500 --> 00:13:42,569
- Who's Jay Niles?
- 248
- 00:13:42,660 --> 00:13:44,730
- You haven't heard of Jay Niles?
- 249
- 00:13:44,820 --> 00:13:47,050
- The second coming of Nolan Ryan.
- 250
- 00:13:47,140 --> 00:13:49,574
- Yeah, man, 95-mile-an-hour fastball.
- 251
- 00:13:49,660 --> 00:13:51,252
- Self-professed, mind you.
- 252
- 00:13:51,340 --> 00:13:53,058
- He's this intense fuck from Detroit,
- 253
- 00:13:53,140 --> 00:13:55,131
- who just kind of spouts out all his stats
- 254
- 00:13:55,220 --> 00:13:57,060
- and just talks about
- what a pro prospect he is.
- 255
- 00:13:57,100 --> 00:13:58,328
- How'd that guy end up here?
- 256
- 00:13:58,420 --> 00:14:00,331
- Well, he's filling the obligatory quota.
- 257
- 00:14:00,420 --> 00:14:02,756
- You know, we have to have at least
- two weirdos on every team.
- 258
- 00:14:02,780 --> 00:14:04,498
- Now we're full up.
- 259
- 00:14:04,580 --> 00:14:09,608
- Wait, Jay Niles, one. Two? Who's two?
- 260
- 00:14:09,700 --> 00:14:11,691
- You, you sawed-off drunk fuck.
- 261
- 00:14:13,300 --> 00:14:15,814
- No, actually your roommate,
- Beuter, the hayseed.
- 262
- 00:14:15,940 --> 00:14:17,339
- - Ah.
- - Can we agree?
- 263
- 00:14:17,420 --> 00:14:18,455
- We can agree.
- 264
- 00:14:18,540 --> 00:14:19,876
- I thought his name was Billy Autrey.
- 265
- 00:14:19,900 --> 00:14:21,492
- Oh, it was, until we changed it
- 266
- 00:14:21,580 --> 00:14:23,556
- to the most country bumpkin name
- we could come up with.
- 267
- 00:14:23,580 --> 00:14:24,695
- Beuter Perkins.
- 268
- 00:14:24,780 --> 00:14:26,293
- Beuter!
- 269
- 00:14:26,380 --> 00:14:28,716
- Hey, you guys sure Coach
- isn't gonna know if we've been drinking?
- 270
- 00:14:28,740 --> 00:14:31,937
- Fuck, Brumley,
- you've seriously asked that at every bar.
- 271
- 00:14:32,020 --> 00:14:34,636
- "Are you sure Coach
- isn't gonna know if we've been drinking?
- 272
- 00:14:34,660 --> 00:14:36,173
- "What if he smells my breath?"
- 273
- 00:14:36,260 --> 00:14:38,649
- We're fucking drinking, man!
- That's what we're doing!
- 274
- 00:14:38,740 --> 00:14:40,651
- - Yeah, we are.
- - Okay? Yeah.
- 275
- 00:14:40,740 --> 00:14:42,537
- Cheers for the beers.
- 276
- 00:14:42,620 --> 00:14:44,338
- What is that brown shit on your lip?
- 277
- 00:14:47,020 --> 00:14:50,092
- I thought it was like a light,
- like a shadow on your lip, but it...
- 278
- 00:14:50,180 --> 00:14:51,772
- - Is that a mustache?
- - Yeah.
- 279
- 00:14:51,980 --> 00:14:53,015
- Ugh!
- 280
- 00:14:54,380 --> 00:14:56,848
- I'm sorry. Don't touch it. Don't...
- 281
- 00:14:56,980 --> 00:14:58,299
- Ew. Stop.
- 282
- 00:14:58,380 --> 00:15:00,177
- - Oh!
- - Ugh!
- 283
- 00:15:00,260 --> 00:15:03,172
- Yeah, it's a mustache.
- That's a mustache.
- 284
- 00:15:03,260 --> 00:15:06,411
- - It's growing.
- - Was that hair?
- 285
- 00:15:06,500 --> 00:15:07,819
- Full throttle to the bottle.
- 286
- 00:15:07,900 --> 00:15:09,379
- Shut up, Brumley.
- 287
- 00:15:10,460 --> 00:15:12,371
- Why does he keep
- saying things like that?
- 288
- 00:15:12,460 --> 00:15:15,770
- Finn, I'm seriously
- worried about these new guys. I mean...
- 289
- 00:15:15,860 --> 00:15:17,896
- It's gonna be a strange year, man.
- 290
- 00:15:18,900 --> 00:15:20,618
- - Hey, whoa!
- - Oh!
- 291
- 00:15:20,700 --> 00:15:21,876
- If you haven't met yet,
- 292
- 00:15:21,900 --> 00:15:24,175
- I'd like to introduce you
- to the new guys on the team.
- 293
- 00:15:24,300 --> 00:15:26,860
- Freshman Ty Plummer, catcher.
- 294
- 00:15:27,860 --> 00:15:29,418
- Stand up, Ty. Come on, son.
- 295
- 00:15:31,540 --> 00:15:33,610
- Alex Brumley, outfield.
- 296
- 00:15:34,700 --> 00:15:35,735
- Hey, guys.
- 297
- 00:15:35,860 --> 00:15:36,860
- Sit down.
- 298
- 00:15:38,100 --> 00:15:39,249
- All right. Jake Bradford
- 299
- 00:15:40,300 --> 00:15:43,497
- and Billy Autrey, both freshman pitchers.
- 300
- 00:15:44,100 --> 00:15:46,853
- Also, I'm taking a leap
- this year on two transfers,
- 301
- 00:15:46,940 --> 00:15:48,692
- trying to shore up our pitching staff.
- 302
- 00:15:48,780 --> 00:15:51,089
- From California,
- senior Charlie Willoughby.
- 303
- 00:15:51,180 --> 00:15:52,898
- Stand up, Willoughby.
- 304
- 00:15:52,980 --> 00:15:54,015
- Guys.
- 305
- 00:15:54,100 --> 00:15:56,694
- And from Detroit, Jay Niles.
- 306
- 00:15:59,940 --> 00:16:01,055
- All right.
- 307
- 00:16:01,140 --> 00:16:03,608
- For you vets, I expect you
- to show the new guys around.
- 308
- 00:16:03,700 --> 00:16:05,418
- Hopefully be a positive
- influence on them.
- 309
- 00:16:05,860 --> 00:16:07,373
- I'd appreciate that, all right?
- 310
- 00:16:07,580 --> 00:16:09,218
- Wake up, Coma!
- 311
- 00:16:09,820 --> 00:16:12,971
- Okay, for the eight of you
- living in this house
- 312
- 00:16:13,460 --> 00:16:15,178
- and the eight of you living next door,
- 313
- 00:16:15,260 --> 00:16:17,296
- there's gonna be
- some guidelines for living here.
- 314
- 00:16:17,980 --> 00:16:20,289
- The city's been generous enough
- to donate these houses
- 315
- 00:16:20,380 --> 00:16:23,053
- to help with the overcrowding
- situation in athletic dorms,
- 316
- 00:16:23,140 --> 00:16:24,892
- and we've agreed to be
- responsible for them.
- 317
- 00:16:24,980 --> 00:16:27,892
- So, two rules.
- 318
- 00:16:27,980 --> 00:16:31,529
- Number one.
- No alcohol in these houses, okay?
- 319
- 00:16:32,340 --> 00:16:34,615
- It's against school policy.
- Need I say more?
- 320
- 00:16:35,580 --> 00:16:37,775
- Now, we can't stop you
- from having a drink
- 321
- 00:16:37,860 --> 00:16:41,057
- down at that Jolly Fox
- and Sound Machine, or whatever.
- 322
- 00:16:41,140 --> 00:16:45,372
- You're all over 18, all right?
- Just no booze in this house.
- 323
- 00:16:46,580 --> 00:16:50,698
- Okay. Number two,
- and it's a biggie, gentlemen.
- 324
- 00:16:50,780 --> 00:16:53,453
- No girls upstairs in those bedrooms.
- 325
- 00:16:53,540 --> 00:16:54,814
- What?
- 326
- 00:16:54,940 --> 00:16:56,168
- Yup. I'm sorry.
- 327
- 00:16:56,260 --> 00:16:57,916
- She's gonna have to
- take it back to her place or,
- 328
- 00:16:57,940 --> 00:16:59,436
- if you want, you can spend as much time
- 329
- 00:16:59,460 --> 00:17:00,676
- as you like together down here.
- 330
- 00:17:00,700 --> 00:17:03,260
- There's plenty of room
- in both these houses for socializing.
- 331
- 00:17:03,340 --> 00:17:05,716
- So, if you just gotta
- bring some little gal back to the house,
- 332
- 00:17:05,740 --> 00:17:08,493
- you keep her buns downstairs.
- You got it?
- 333
- 00:17:08,580 --> 00:17:11,299
- Don't want the program taken
- down by a piece of poontang.
- 334
- 00:17:12,580 --> 00:17:13,979
- Okay, that's it.
- 335
- 00:17:14,060 --> 00:17:16,290
- Voluntary practice is on Sunday.
- 336
- 00:17:16,380 --> 00:17:17,608
- That's players-only now.
- 337
- 00:17:17,700 --> 00:17:19,156
- Rulebook says I can't be on the field,
- 338
- 00:17:19,180 --> 00:17:20,852
- so I'll see you fellas on Monday.
- 339
- 00:17:20,940 --> 00:17:23,534
- Be responsible out there
- this weekend, okay?
- 340
- 00:17:23,620 --> 00:17:25,815
- Think before you do
- something stupid, please.
- 341
- 00:17:25,900 --> 00:17:26,935
- Skip?
- 342
- 00:17:27,020 --> 00:17:29,011
- All right. Mac, you got something?
- 343
- 00:17:29,100 --> 00:17:30,613
- Yeah. Hey, new guys, listen up.
- 344
- 00:17:30,700 --> 00:17:33,533
- Just so you know,
- "voluntary" means mandatory, okay?
- 345
- 00:17:33,620 --> 00:17:34,676
- Everybody's got to be there.
- 346
- 00:17:34,700 --> 00:17:36,036
- If you're not there,
- then you probably don't care
- 347
- 00:17:36,060 --> 00:17:38,051
- about beating those fuckers
- from Arizona.
- 348
- 00:17:38,140 --> 00:17:40,476
- And if you're not serious about
- that, you might as well go home.
- 349
- 00:17:40,500 --> 00:17:42,536
- Oh, yeah. We're taking it
- this year, fellas.
- 350
- 00:17:42,620 --> 00:17:44,497
- All the way.
- 351
- 00:17:46,420 --> 00:17:49,537
- All right! Our lucky year!
- 352
- 00:17:53,820 --> 00:17:57,369
- Get ready, boys,
- your college careers are about to begin.
- 353
- 00:17:59,380 --> 00:18:02,099
- - How's it going?
- - Yeah, yeah!
- 354
- 00:18:02,180 --> 00:18:04,774
- Murphy! Trouble walking in.
- 355
- 00:18:04,860 --> 00:18:06,771
- - How's it going, man?
- - Hey. Two-dollar cover.
- 356
- 00:18:06,860 --> 00:18:09,420
- Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait.
- No, no. They're with us.
- 357
- 00:18:09,540 --> 00:18:10,575
- Freshman superstars.
- 358
- 00:18:11,020 --> 00:18:12,533
- It's all right. Let them in.
- 359
- 00:18:12,620 --> 00:18:13,655
- Thanks, man.
- 360
- 00:18:13,740 --> 00:18:14,740
- Have fun, boys.
- 361
- 00:18:14,820 --> 00:18:16,196
- Hey, shake something,
- don't break something.
- 362
- 00:18:16,220 --> 00:18:17,255
- Yes, sir.
- 363
- 00:18:40,660 --> 00:18:41,729
- - Hey, hey, guys.
- - Yeah?
- 364
- 00:18:41,820 --> 00:18:43,236
- If you guys want more beer,
- go to Howard.
- 365
- 00:18:43,260 --> 00:18:45,455
- The guy that looks like Cheech.
- 366
- 00:18:45,540 --> 00:18:47,337
- We're getting all this shit for free, okay?
- 367
- 00:18:47,460 --> 00:18:50,372
- Dude! No cover and free beer.
- 368
- 00:18:50,460 --> 00:18:51,460
- Mmm-hmm.
- 369
- 00:18:51,620 --> 00:18:53,576
- College is the fucking greatest!
- 370
- 00:18:53,660 --> 00:18:55,537
- Hey, it's part of the scholarship.
- 371
- 00:19:11,100 --> 00:19:13,534
- Say goodbye to your
- high school sweethearts, fellas.
- 372
- 00:19:13,620 --> 00:19:16,817
- The wonderful world
- of college pussy is upon you.
- 373
- 00:19:24,700 --> 00:19:27,009
- Ladies! How was your summer?
- 374
- 00:19:27,100 --> 00:19:29,091
- Fun. How was yours?
- 375
- 00:19:29,220 --> 00:19:31,176
- Angie, you look amazing.
- 376
- 00:19:31,260 --> 00:19:33,396
- Let me introduce you to
- some of the new guys. This is Jake.
- 377
- 00:19:33,420 --> 00:19:34,676
- - Hey. Nice to meet you.
- - Hi. Nice to meet you.
- 378
- 00:19:34,700 --> 00:19:35,815
- That dude is Plum.
- 379
- 00:19:35,940 --> 00:19:37,009
- What's up? Tyrone.
- 380
- 00:19:37,100 --> 00:19:38,374
- - How you doing?
- - Hi.
- 381
- 00:19:39,100 --> 00:19:40,818
- - You guys wanna dance?
- - Yeah.
- 382
- 00:20:09,140 --> 00:20:10,937
- Cheers. To a beautiful night.
- 383
- 00:20:11,060 --> 00:20:12,857
- There we go.
- 384
- 00:20:14,020 --> 00:20:15,055
- Mmm.
- 385
- 00:20:15,140 --> 00:20:17,415
- - Oh, yeah.
- - Whoo!
- 386
- 00:20:17,540 --> 00:20:18,716
- We're gonna need a couple more.
- 387
- 00:20:18,740 --> 00:20:19,855
- Yeah, come on!
- 388
- 00:20:19,940 --> 00:20:23,376
- She needs quite a few more.
- You do, too.
- 389
- 00:20:23,460 --> 00:20:25,371
- - Lookit.
- - What? What's up?
- 390
- 00:20:25,940 --> 00:20:28,090
- Finn's in his average cock mode.
- 391
- 00:20:28,180 --> 00:20:30,819
- Right now, I guarantee you
- he's telling those girls
- 392
- 00:20:30,940 --> 00:20:32,578
- about how he has an average cock.
- 393
- 00:20:32,660 --> 00:20:33,916
- Why the hell would he do that?
- 394
- 00:20:33,940 --> 00:20:35,896
- See, no, it's genius, actually.
- 395
- 00:20:35,980 --> 00:20:38,050
- See, he tells girls
- that he has an average cock,
- 396
- 00:20:38,140 --> 00:20:41,098
- and while that might only seem
- moderately compelling on paper,
- 397
- 00:20:41,180 --> 00:20:42,454
- women find it a relief
- 398
- 00:20:42,540 --> 00:20:45,008
- from all the guys talking
- about how huge they are.
- 399
- 00:20:45,860 --> 00:20:48,818
- I'm a performer, all right?
- I'm a grower, not a shower.
- 400
- 00:20:48,900 --> 00:20:50,076
- See all that fun, all that laughing?
- 401
- 00:20:50,100 --> 00:20:51,100
- Yeah, yeah.
- 402
- 00:20:51,180 --> 00:20:52,898
- They're talking about his dick, man!
- 403
- 00:20:52,980 --> 00:20:54,095
- - Fuckin' with me.
- - No...
- 404
- 00:20:54,180 --> 00:20:55,316
- You heard of "foot in the door"?
- 405
- 00:20:55,340 --> 00:20:56,340
- Of course.
- 406
- 00:20:56,420 --> 00:20:57,700
- Finn's got his dick in the door.
- 407
- 00:20:57,740 --> 00:20:59,093
- That's fucking genius.
- 408
- 00:20:59,180 --> 00:21:01,614
- - Genius. Yes!
- - Genius!
- 409
- 00:21:01,700 --> 00:21:02,735
- - Fuck.
- - I tell you.
- 410
- 00:21:05,380 --> 00:21:06,938
- Hey, you see what I see?
- 411
- 00:21:07,060 --> 00:21:08,876
- - You know them?
- - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
- 412
- 00:21:08,900 --> 00:21:10,777
- That's Michelle with her friend Val.
- 413
- 00:21:10,860 --> 00:21:12,060
- What's the book on them?
- 414
- 00:21:12,100 --> 00:21:14,694
- The book is,
- we're going over to rap with them.
- 415
- 00:21:14,780 --> 00:21:16,577
- - Yeah?
- - Oh, hell, yes.
- 416
- 00:21:20,020 --> 00:21:22,136
- Let's get it.
- 417
- 00:21:22,220 --> 00:21:23,460
- Hey, which one you going after?
- 418
- 00:21:23,540 --> 00:21:24,734
- Oh, Michelle, definitely.
- 419
- 00:21:24,820 --> 00:21:26,651
- - The one on the right.
- - The tall one?
- 420
- 00:21:26,740 --> 00:21:28,935
- I'm climbing that tree, Jake!
- 421
- 00:21:29,020 --> 00:21:31,932
- - I hear Val is fun. Go for it!
- - All right, cool.
- 422
- 00:21:32,020 --> 00:21:33,692
- - Val?
- - How you doing, Dale?
- 423
- 00:21:33,780 --> 00:21:36,135
- - Michelle.
- - Dale.
- 424
- 00:21:36,220 --> 00:21:37,596
- Michelle, Val, this is Jake.
- 425
- 00:21:37,620 --> 00:21:38,735
- - Hey there.
- - What's up?
- 426
- 00:21:38,820 --> 00:21:39,916
- Oh, I love this song! Come on.
- 427
- 00:21:39,940 --> 00:21:40,940
- It's Jake.
- 428
- 00:21:41,020 --> 00:21:42,931
- Val.
- 429
- 00:21:43,020 --> 00:21:46,296
- Are you gonna ask me to dance,
- or are you just gonna stand there?
- 430
- 00:21:46,380 --> 00:21:48,530
- I'm asking you to dance.
- 431
- 00:21:53,940 --> 00:21:55,498
- Hey, what position do you play?
- 432
- 00:21:55,580 --> 00:21:56,729
- Pitcher.
- 433
- 00:21:56,860 --> 00:21:58,140
- Oh, cool. And you're a freshman?
- 434
- 00:21:58,180 --> 00:21:59,374
- Yeah, yeah. You?
- 435
- 00:21:59,460 --> 00:22:02,770
- I'm a sophomore.
- I live in the apartment next to Angie.
- 436
- 00:22:02,860 --> 00:22:03,975
- Oh, cool.
- 437
- 00:22:04,060 --> 00:22:06,335
- Hey, do you live in those
- new baseball houses?
- 438
- 00:22:06,420 --> 00:22:07,489
- Yeah, yeah.
- 439
- 00:22:49,100 --> 00:22:54,538
- Oh, yes! Yes! Ooh,
- two at a time, bro! Shoot!
- 440
- 00:22:55,900 --> 00:22:57,413
- Just a second.
- 441
- 00:23:03,820 --> 00:23:06,254
- Wait here a second.
- 442
- 00:23:06,340 --> 00:23:09,616
- Soul brother, what's the deal, man?
- 443
- 00:23:09,700 --> 00:23:13,056
- I don't know, man.
- Finn's got that Leeann chick in there.
- 444
- 00:23:21,580 --> 00:23:22,876
- I'm gonna go upstairs real quick.
- 445
- 00:23:22,900 --> 00:23:23,916
- - I'll be right back.
- - Huh?
- 446
- 00:23:23,940 --> 00:23:25,716
- I'm gonna go upstairs real quick.
- I'll be right back.
- 447
- 00:23:25,740 --> 00:23:26,775
- Okay.
- 448
- 00:23:27,420 --> 00:23:28,420
- Ah!
- 449
- 00:23:33,380 --> 00:23:37,851
- Strike three. Strike three.
- 450
- 00:23:38,900 --> 00:23:40,492
- Strike...
- 451
- 00:23:43,860 --> 00:23:46,454
- ...and his answer is,
- his answer is,
- 452
- 00:23:46,540 --> 00:23:49,498
- "It needs some tail." And ol' Ben says,
- 453
- 00:23:49,580 --> 00:23:52,731
- "Well, that's what I told Mrs. Franklin.
- She told me to go fly a kite!"
- 454
- 00:23:56,540 --> 00:23:57,609
- "Go fly a kite!"
- 455
- 00:23:57,740 --> 00:23:58,855
- Oh, man, that's funny.
- 456
- 00:23:59,540 --> 00:24:02,134
- - Hey, what's going on, Jacob?
- - What's up, man?
- 457
- 00:24:02,220 --> 00:24:04,051
- So, where you guys been tonight?
- 458
- 00:24:04,140 --> 00:24:05,368
- Oh, shoot, man.
- 459
- 00:24:05,460 --> 00:24:08,532
- We went over to the
- Guaranteed Wholesome.
- 460
- 00:24:08,620 --> 00:24:09,814
- What about you?
- 461
- 00:24:09,900 --> 00:24:10,969
- Uh, Sound Machine.
- 462
- 00:24:11,100 --> 00:24:12,169
- Sound Machine, all right.
- 463
- 00:24:12,260 --> 00:24:14,410
- Yeah. Hey, Beuter.
- 464
- 00:24:15,340 --> 00:24:17,171
- I mean, Billy. Uh...
- 465
- 00:24:17,260 --> 00:24:19,854
- Look, man, I got a little lady downstairs
- 466
- 00:24:19,980 --> 00:24:22,540
- who maybe wants to come up here
- 467
- 00:24:22,620 --> 00:24:24,372
- and check out my album collection,
- you know?
- 468
- 00:24:24,460 --> 00:24:27,497
- How about that? Hey, Jacob,
- didn't Coach Gordan say this afternoon
- 469
- 00:24:27,580 --> 00:24:29,889
- that we weren't supposed
- to have girls upstairs?
- 470
- 00:24:29,980 --> 00:24:32,130
- He said something about that, didn't he?
- 471
- 00:24:32,220 --> 00:24:33,369
- Yeah. Yeah, he did.
- 472
- 00:24:33,460 --> 00:24:34,756
- But, I mean, half the guys in this house
- 473
- 00:24:34,780 --> 00:24:35,956
- just broke that rule, you know?
- 474
- 00:24:35,980 --> 00:24:39,052
- So I kind of decided
- not to be like a one-man holdout on that.
- 475
- 00:24:39,140 --> 00:24:42,052
- Yeah. Yeah, you is
- a team player, ain't you?
- 476
- 00:24:42,140 --> 00:24:43,140
- Huh.
- 477
- 00:24:43,380 --> 00:24:45,610
- So, what you want me to do?
- 478
- 00:24:47,420 --> 00:24:48,489
- I don't know, man.
- 479
- 00:24:48,580 --> 00:24:51,572
- Just, uh, do the right thing, you know?
- 480
- 00:24:51,700 --> 00:24:53,099
- Give me the room alone for a bit.
- 481
- 00:24:53,180 --> 00:24:54,180
- Huh.
- 482
- 00:24:54,420 --> 00:24:59,335
- You know, man, but my girlfriend,
- she lives out of town, right?
- 483
- 00:24:59,420 --> 00:25:02,139
- So what, you want me to just
- 484
- 00:25:02,220 --> 00:25:04,290
- pitch a tent on the couch
- all the time, or what?
- 485
- 00:25:04,420 --> 00:25:05,535
- Not all the time.
- 486
- 00:25:05,620 --> 00:25:07,133
- Just this little window of time.
- 487
- 00:25:07,220 --> 00:25:08,972
- - Little window? Yeah.
- - Yeah.
- 488
- 00:25:10,620 --> 00:25:11,916
- Look, come on, man,
- you guys are already
- 489
- 00:25:11,940 --> 00:25:13,055
- breaking the alcohol rule.
- 490
- 00:25:13,180 --> 00:25:15,296
- Or is there a waiver for Lone Star?
- 491
- 00:25:15,380 --> 00:25:18,178
- Dang, that sure is Lone Star.
- That's alcohol right there.
- 492
- 00:25:18,260 --> 00:25:20,012
- Alcoholic beverage in there.
- I'll be danged.
- 493
- 00:25:20,100 --> 00:25:21,374
- Well, man, I'll tell you what,
- 494
- 00:25:21,460 --> 00:25:25,499
- I gotta get up early
- for registration in the morning.
- 495
- 00:25:26,460 --> 00:25:31,375
- Plus, I think Mr. Finnegan
- set up a room downstairs for that.
- 496
- 00:25:31,460 --> 00:25:32,939
- Yeah, he's in there.
- 497
- 00:25:33,020 --> 00:25:34,020
- Wow!
- 498
- 00:25:34,140 --> 00:25:35,414
- Well, shoot,
- 499
- 00:25:35,500 --> 00:25:38,378
- I reckon he'll be
- out of there before too long, won't he?
- 500
- 00:25:43,460 --> 00:25:44,859
- Un-fucking-believable.
- 501
- 00:25:45,860 --> 00:25:47,771
- You go get 'em, Jacob.
- 502
- 00:25:47,860 --> 00:25:50,055
- Go show her them albums.
- 503
- 00:25:52,500 --> 00:25:54,377
- All right, bro.
- 504
- 00:25:57,900 --> 00:26:00,209
- Let's go somewhere quiet.
- 505
- 00:26:48,340 --> 00:26:51,298
- I feel like the Astros
- are gonna make it to the World Series.
- 506
- 00:27:04,380 --> 00:27:07,975
- <i>Tom, you know I wouldn't ask you this
- unless it were very important.</i>
- 507
- 00:27:08,060 --> 00:27:10,051
- Erica's such a bitch.
- 508
- 00:27:10,140 --> 00:27:11,732
- Yeah, she's definitely cheating on him.
- 509
- 00:27:11,820 --> 00:27:13,219
- What?
- 510
- 00:27:13,740 --> 00:27:16,538
- Hey, Beuter, you leaving us already?
- 511
- 00:27:16,860 --> 00:27:18,578
- Running home to mama, Perkins?
- 512
- 00:27:18,660 --> 00:27:21,970
- Come on, y'all, my name ain't Beuter.
- Okay, guys? It's Billy Autrey.
- 513
- 00:27:22,100 --> 00:27:23,818
- Bullshit!
- 514
- 00:27:23,900 --> 00:27:25,780
- It's Beuter Perkins
- until we tell you otherwise.
- 515
- 00:27:25,860 --> 00:27:27,054
- Now, where you going, BP?
- 516
- 00:27:27,140 --> 00:27:30,098
- You running back to that
- corn-fed girlfriend of yours already?
- 517
- 00:27:30,180 --> 00:27:31,516
- No, sir, I'll be back Sunday for practice.
- 518
- 00:27:31,540 --> 00:27:33,098
- Well, well, well!
- 519
- 00:27:33,180 --> 00:27:35,978
- Looks like Beuter Perkins
- is getting laid this weekend. Huh?
- 520
- 00:27:36,580 --> 00:27:38,660
- You finally trading in that phone
- for the real thing?
- 521
- 00:27:39,020 --> 00:27:40,658
- Shoot, y'all.
- 522
- 00:27:42,180 --> 00:27:45,172
- Man, guys,
- she says she might be pregnant.
- 523
- 00:27:45,940 --> 00:27:46,940
- No, sir.
- 524
- 00:27:47,020 --> 00:27:49,136
- Yeah, man, that's what she says.
- 525
- 00:27:49,220 --> 00:27:50,619
- How late is she?
- 526
- 00:27:50,740 --> 00:27:52,139
- She's a day late.
- 527
- 00:27:54,980 --> 00:27:56,891
- You gotta be shittin' me, Beuter!
- 528
- 00:27:56,980 --> 00:27:58,836
- She's one day late
- and she's giving you shit for it?
- 529
- 00:27:58,860 --> 00:28:01,116
- She's testing you.
- She's trying to gauge your response.
- 530
- 00:28:01,140 --> 00:28:02,255
- Are you the guy that says,
- 531
- 00:28:02,340 --> 00:28:03,476
- "Don't worry,
- I'm gonna pay for the abortion,"
- 532
- 00:28:03,500 --> 00:28:04,836
- or are you talking about marriage?
- 533
- 00:28:04,860 --> 00:28:06,612
- Which is what she's hoping for.
- 534
- 00:28:06,700 --> 00:28:09,737
- Either way, you're fucked.
- Give it up, Beuter Perkins.
- 535
- 00:28:09,820 --> 00:28:11,916
- No trust me, man,
- she's not fucking pregnant, all right?
- 536
- 00:28:11,940 --> 00:28:13,460
- We've all been through shit like this.
- 537
- 00:28:13,500 --> 00:28:15,620
- Except for Nez, of course,
- 'cause he's still a virgin.
- 538
- 00:28:16,140 --> 00:28:18,260
- Look, she's just
- taking your little chicken-fried nuts
- 539
- 00:28:18,340 --> 00:28:19,596
- and she's running them
- through the wringer, okay?
- 540
- 00:28:19,620 --> 00:28:22,076
- She's just giving you shit for it because
- you left her back on the farm
- 541
- 00:28:22,100 --> 00:28:23,980
- with all the other little pigs
- you used to fuck.
- 542
- 00:28:24,260 --> 00:28:25,460
- I ain't never put it in a pig!
- 543
- 00:28:25,580 --> 00:28:29,129
- They speaketh the truth,
- young Beuter Perkins.
- 544
- 00:28:29,220 --> 00:28:31,609
- Man, we're just
- worried about you, all right?
- 545
- 00:28:31,700 --> 00:28:33,036
- Yeah, man.
- I mean, school hasn't even started yet,
- 546
- 00:28:33,060 --> 00:28:34,460
- and, guys, correct me if I'm wrong,
- 547
- 00:28:34,540 --> 00:28:36,417
- but you are the official frontrunner
- 548
- 00:28:36,500 --> 00:28:38,636
- for the Freshman Numb-Nut
- of the Year award, right, guys?
- 549
- 00:28:38,660 --> 00:28:39,809
- The what award?
- 550
- 00:28:39,940 --> 00:28:41,089
- Oh, it's the annual award.
- 551
- 00:28:41,220 --> 00:28:42,956
- We give it out to
- the most clueless freshman.
- 552
- 00:28:42,980 --> 00:28:45,276
- I think we've already started engraving
- his name on the plaque.
- 553
- 00:28:45,300 --> 00:28:46,516
- How do you spell "Beuter," by the way?
- 554
- 00:28:46,540 --> 00:28:47,893
- My name is not Beuter!
- 555
- 00:28:48,020 --> 00:28:51,456
- Uh, Beuter, we also got a bet going on
- 556
- 00:28:51,540 --> 00:28:53,895
- whether your share of the phone bill
- 557
- 00:28:54,020 --> 00:28:56,295
- is gonna be under or over $300.
- 558
- 00:28:57,660 --> 00:28:58,980
- We gotta pay the phone bill here?
- 559
- 00:28:59,060 --> 00:29:02,052
- I've already done the calculations
- based on its usage thus far,
- 560
- 00:29:02,140 --> 00:29:03,539
- way over $300.
- 561
- 00:29:03,660 --> 00:29:05,252
- - Really?
- - Oh, yeah.
- 562
- 00:29:05,340 --> 00:29:08,218
- $300 and a kid?
- 563
- 00:29:08,300 --> 00:29:10,609
- Man, your life's gonna fucking suck.
- 564
- 00:29:11,900 --> 00:29:13,413
- Fine. Fine.
- 565
- 00:29:13,740 --> 00:29:15,173
- Later, Beuter!
- 566
- 00:29:15,260 --> 00:29:16,978
- Later, Beuter!
- 567
- 00:29:17,100 --> 00:29:18,818
- Bye, Beuter! Beuter.
- 568
- 00:29:20,060 --> 00:29:22,494
- Five bucks says we never see him again.
- 569
- 00:29:22,580 --> 00:29:24,298
- Nez, he's gotta come back for his shit.
- 570
- 00:29:24,380 --> 00:29:25,654
- It's a bad bet.
- 571
- 00:29:25,740 --> 00:29:27,731
- This is why
- you're losing money all the time.
- 572
- 00:29:28,420 --> 00:29:30,490
- A good bet would be, I don't know,
- 573
- 00:29:30,580 --> 00:29:33,014
- "Is his girlfriend in his family tree?"
- 574
- 00:29:33,100 --> 00:29:35,534
- Okay, five bucks
- that his girlfriend's in his family tree.
- 575
- 00:29:35,620 --> 00:29:37,611
- Okay, uh, first cousin, second cousin?
- 576
- 00:29:37,740 --> 00:29:38,968
- First cousin, Finn.
- 577
- 00:29:39,100 --> 00:29:41,853
- See, that's a bad bet. I'll take the bet.
- 578
- 00:29:41,940 --> 00:29:43,692
- - Still bad odds.
- - First cousin?
- 579
- 00:29:44,820 --> 00:29:47,698
- So, what do most
- of the guys on the team major in?
- 580
- 00:29:47,780 --> 00:29:49,179
- Besides baseball and pussy?
- 581
- 00:29:49,260 --> 00:29:51,296
- Ah, you mean
- when a girl asks? That's easy.
- 582
- 00:29:51,380 --> 00:29:53,814
- Look, there are thousands
- and thousands of people
- 583
- 00:29:53,900 --> 00:29:55,731
- majoring in all kinds of shit here.
- 584
- 00:29:55,820 --> 00:29:59,369
- But there's only 25 of us.
- We're the best team on campus.
- 585
- 00:29:59,460 --> 00:30:01,836
- You got a football team
- that'll win about three games a year.
- 586
- 00:30:01,860 --> 00:30:03,452
- Basketball team hasn't won shit.
- 587
- 00:30:03,540 --> 00:30:04,860
- We are in the playoffs every year
- 588
- 00:30:04,980 --> 00:30:06,380
- and we're always ranked nationally.
- 589
- 00:30:06,460 --> 00:30:07,779
- Dale, you're confusing him.
- 590
- 00:30:07,860 --> 00:30:10,579
- Bottom line is this,
- her friends are gonna ask,
- 591
- 00:30:10,660 --> 00:30:12,730
- "What's he like? What's he do?"
- 592
- 00:30:12,820 --> 00:30:14,856
- She's not gonna have to say the old,
- 593
- 00:30:14,980 --> 00:30:16,476
- "I don't know. He's a marketing major."
- 594
- 00:30:16,500 --> 00:30:18,411
- That's not gonna cut it.
- 595
- 00:30:18,500 --> 00:30:20,456
- "He's a baseball player."
- 596
- 00:30:22,060 --> 00:30:24,620
- See, now they got
- something special to talk about.
- 597
- 00:30:24,740 --> 00:30:25,940
- "How's your ballplayer doing?"
- 598
- 00:30:26,220 --> 00:30:27,436
- "Oh, he's still stiff as a bat."
- 599
- 00:30:27,460 --> 00:30:28,716
- "You still ballin' your player?"
- 600
- 00:30:28,740 --> 00:30:29,968
- "Oh, he's sliding home."
- 601
- 00:30:30,060 --> 00:30:32,255
- That's cool, that's cool and everything.
- I like pussy.
- 602
- 00:30:32,340 --> 00:30:35,491
- But, you know, what about school?
- Like, what do I take?
- 603
- 00:30:35,580 --> 00:30:37,172
- Oh, oh, oh. That's easy, that's easy.
- 604
- 00:30:37,260 --> 00:30:39,476
- You get good at making
- the school-part work for you, right?
- 605
- 00:30:39,500 --> 00:30:40,649
- It's like a puzzle, man.
- 606
- 00:30:40,740 --> 00:30:43,049
- What teachers will
- give you a break, what classes to take.
- 607
- 00:30:43,140 --> 00:30:46,416
- Hey, look, you gotta start the
- semester with 12 hours, all right?
- 608
- 00:30:46,500 --> 00:30:47,996
- But you only gotta be
- passing nine to be eligible.
- 609
- 00:30:48,020 --> 00:30:49,976
- Drop one class, blow off another.
- 610
- 00:30:53,700 --> 00:30:55,497
- God damn it, Plummer!
- 611
- 00:30:56,700 --> 00:30:58,418
- Call it! Wake up!
- 612
- 00:30:59,740 --> 00:31:01,014
- Oh!
- 613
- 00:31:02,420 --> 00:31:03,853
- Whoo!
- 614
- 00:31:07,740 --> 00:31:09,156
- - I kinda like our relationship.
- - Mmm.
- 615
- 00:31:09,180 --> 00:31:11,489
- It's like, I throw the junk
- and you get yourself out.
- 616
- 00:31:11,620 --> 00:31:12,973
- Fuck!
- 617
- 00:31:13,060 --> 00:31:15,858
- Was that a big deal for you,
- transferring in senior year?
- 618
- 00:31:15,940 --> 00:31:17,453
- No, man, not really.
- 619
- 00:31:17,540 --> 00:31:18,996
- You know, I'll still have a few hours
- 620
- 00:31:19,020 --> 00:31:22,012
- that I gotta complete, you know?
- 621
- 00:31:22,100 --> 00:31:26,855
- I'll go back in late summer,
- graduate, do that thing.
- 622
- 00:31:26,940 --> 00:31:29,170
- And where's, uh, San Luis Obispo?
- 623
- 00:31:29,260 --> 00:31:31,649
- - Uh, California.
- - That's where you're from?
- 624
- 00:31:31,740 --> 00:31:36,450
- Yeah. Yeah.
- Sort of the central coast area.
- 625
- 00:31:36,540 --> 00:31:40,294
- - Cool. Cool. Mmm...
- - Yeah. Yeah. Very cool.
- 626
- 00:31:40,380 --> 00:31:41,859
- I'm from this, uh,
- 627
- 00:31:41,940 --> 00:31:43,339
- - small town in the valley.
- - Yeah.
- 628
- 00:31:43,420 --> 00:31:47,049
- - Hey, man, you get high?
- - Yeah. Yeah, here and there.
- 629
- 00:31:47,140 --> 00:31:49,529
- Yeah? Well, I don't know.
- 630
- 00:31:49,660 --> 00:31:51,890
- Couple of guys
- are gonna go burn this with me
- 631
- 00:31:51,980 --> 00:31:53,459
- in my room pretty soon.
- 632
- 00:31:53,580 --> 00:31:57,334
- - If you wanna join that.
- - Yeah. Yeah, maybe.
- 633
- 00:31:57,460 --> 00:31:59,769
- - Yeah? All right. All right.
- - Cool.
- 634
- 00:32:05,060 --> 00:32:06,175
- Whoo!
- 635
- 00:32:06,300 --> 00:32:08,575
- - I'll bet you 10 bucks.
- - Ten bucks?
- 636
- 00:32:08,660 --> 00:32:10,556
- - Yeah. Ten bucks.
- - You wanna go... That's steep for you.
- 637
- 00:32:10,580 --> 00:32:11,854
- Best out of three.
- 638
- 00:32:11,940 --> 00:32:14,693
- - So, I gotta get two?
- - Yeah, Mac, two.
- 639
- 00:32:14,780 --> 00:32:17,692
- Okay. You feel like losing 10 bucks?
- 640
- 00:32:17,780 --> 00:32:19,660
- You're just excited
- to hit off me for once, huh?
- 641
- 00:32:20,780 --> 00:32:23,010
- Oh, man. I mean, this is gonna be fun.
- 642
- 00:32:23,100 --> 00:32:25,898
- This is gonna be very fun, Nesbit.
- 643
- 00:32:25,980 --> 00:32:27,538
- Man, let me get a little stretch in.
- 644
- 00:32:27,620 --> 00:32:31,090
- Come on. Come on, Mr. Ax. Strong Man.
- 645
- 00:32:31,180 --> 00:32:33,455
- Anytime.
- 646
- 00:32:41,620 --> 00:32:44,214
- Fuck. I don't believe
- what I just fucking saw.
- 647
- 00:32:44,340 --> 00:32:45,996
- You know how strong
- you'd have to be to do that?
- 648
- 00:32:46,020 --> 00:32:47,596
- - And the eyes!
- - Let me see that.
- 649
- 00:32:47,620 --> 00:32:49,690
- You know how well
- you'd have to see the ball
- 650
- 00:32:49,780 --> 00:32:51,099
- to hit it with an ax?
- 651
- 00:32:51,220 --> 00:32:53,017
- Fucking crazy.
- 652
- 00:32:53,140 --> 00:32:55,415
- You just wouldn't listen, Nez.
- You wanna go half price?
- 653
- 00:32:55,500 --> 00:32:57,116
- We can stop now.
- We can call it five bucks.
- 654
- 00:32:57,140 --> 00:32:58,778
- - No, no, no.
- - Double or nothing.
- 655
- 00:32:58,860 --> 00:33:00,612
- Triple or nothing. Huh?
- 656
- 00:33:00,700 --> 00:33:02,531
- Yeah, you feeling lucky? I am.
- 657
- 00:33:02,620 --> 00:33:03,894
- I feel great with those odds.
- 658
- 00:33:03,980 --> 00:33:05,971
- Triple or nothing sounds fantastic.
- 659
- 00:33:06,060 --> 00:33:09,052
- Maybe one of the best days
- of my life here, Nez.
- 660
- 00:33:09,140 --> 00:33:11,131
- You know, until tomorrow.
- 661
- 00:33:19,340 --> 00:33:20,409
- What was that?
- 662
- 00:33:33,180 --> 00:33:34,738
- You're gonna be squashed, Jake.
- 663
- 00:33:35,420 --> 00:33:36,648
- Ooh.
- 664
- 00:33:36,740 --> 00:33:37,809
- I hate this game.
- 665
- 00:33:37,900 --> 00:33:39,716
- It starts out easy,
- and then it just gets fucking impossible.
- 666
- 00:33:39,740 --> 00:33:40,855
- I'm telling you.
- 667
- 00:33:41,140 --> 00:33:44,928
- Yeah, man, I must've wasted,
- like, $200 in quarters
- 668
- 00:33:45,020 --> 00:33:46,419
- on this bitch last summer,
- 669
- 00:33:46,500 --> 00:33:48,855
- just getting reamed
- by these little fuckers.
- 670
- 00:33:48,940 --> 00:33:51,773
- You can't win.
- Once they get up on you, you're fucked.
- 671
- 00:33:51,860 --> 00:33:53,259
- Sounds of amateurs
- 672
- 00:33:53,340 --> 00:33:55,296
- who have not yet
- mastered the gap method.
- 673
- 00:33:55,380 --> 00:33:56,636
- What the fuck is the gap method?
- 674
- 00:33:56,660 --> 00:33:58,173
- You're looking at it, Plum.
- 675
- 00:33:58,260 --> 00:34:01,013
- Like you were saying,
- most people lose at this point
- 676
- 00:34:01,100 --> 00:34:03,276
- not because they get shot,
- but because they get overrun.
- 677
- 00:34:03,300 --> 00:34:05,256
- But I discovered that they actually
- 678
- 00:34:05,340 --> 00:34:07,376
- don't shoot you from
- the absolute front row.
- 679
- 00:34:07,460 --> 00:34:08,813
- - Shit, they don't?
- - No.
- 680
- 00:34:08,900 --> 00:34:10,620
- You just gotta create
- a clearing of columns.
- 681
- 00:34:10,700 --> 00:34:11,996
- - You see what I'm doing right there?
- - Yeah.
- 682
- 00:34:12,020 --> 00:34:14,375
- Make your space, okay?
- You just hold your ground in there.
- 683
- 00:34:15,780 --> 00:34:17,452
- Just gets a little hairy.
- 684
- 00:34:17,540 --> 00:34:19,292
- They speed up at the end. See that guy?
- 685
- 00:34:19,380 --> 00:34:20,415
- See how fast he's going?
- 686
- 00:34:20,540 --> 00:34:22,496
- All right? But you just gotta remain calm,
- 687
- 00:34:22,580 --> 00:34:24,491
- meet them in the middle and...
- 688
- 00:34:24,580 --> 00:34:26,093
- Fucking nailed that!
- 689
- 00:34:26,180 --> 00:34:28,455
- Fuckin A, man! Okay! Okay!
- 690
- 00:34:28,540 --> 00:34:29,676
- Gimme some dap! Gimme some dap!
- 691
- 00:34:29,700 --> 00:34:31,660
- - Oh, shit, come on.
- - Oh, shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- 692
- 00:34:32,180 --> 00:34:33,180
- Oh!
- 693
- 00:34:33,260 --> 00:34:35,820
- It's the same shot every time!
- 694
- 00:34:35,900 --> 00:34:39,210
- - Same shot every time!
- - All right. You know, um, Mac?
- 695
- 00:34:39,300 --> 00:34:43,373
- I... This is supposed to be fun,
- and now I'm not having fun.
- 696
- 00:34:43,500 --> 00:34:44,756
- Well, it's not his fault. It's our fault.
- 697
- 00:34:44,780 --> 00:34:45,815
- Thank you.
- 698
- 00:34:45,900 --> 00:34:47,731
- - You can't teach this chemistry.
- - You can't.
- 699
- 00:34:47,820 --> 00:34:49,196
- We've been together for three years!
- 700
- 00:34:49,220 --> 00:34:51,196
- I know where I'm going
- with it before he even gets it to me.
- 701
- 00:34:51,220 --> 00:34:52,620
- Yeah, and I know where he wants it.
- 702
- 00:34:53,340 --> 00:34:55,535
- - That's special.
- - Let me talk, man.
- 703
- 00:34:55,620 --> 00:35:00,489
- - That ass is golden.
- - Absolutely, say no more.
- 704
- 00:35:00,660 --> 00:35:03,777
- Whoa. Hey. The bitch stick?
- 705
- 00:35:04,660 --> 00:35:05,775
- Are you kidding me?
- 706
- 00:35:06,580 --> 00:35:08,172
- What, I'm just trying to make the shot.
- 707
- 00:35:08,260 --> 00:35:10,490
- Okay. Not with this you're not.
- 708
- 00:35:10,580 --> 00:35:12,332
- Okay, Brum, have your balls dropped?
- 709
- 00:35:13,340 --> 00:35:14,898
- - Yeah.
- - Yeah?
- 710
- 00:35:14,980 --> 00:35:17,778
- Okay, now play like you got some
- fucking semen in your sack, Brum.
- 711
- 00:35:17,860 --> 00:35:19,418
- Okay.
- 712
- 00:35:20,340 --> 00:35:22,615
- - Okay? All right.
- - Okay.
- 713
- 00:35:23,260 --> 00:35:26,252
- - What the hell is this?
- - Please.
- 714
- 00:36:03,020 --> 00:36:05,375
- - What are you doing?
- - Putting it on.
- 715
- 00:36:05,460 --> 00:36:07,212
- - First time wearing cologne?
- - No.
- 716
- 00:36:07,300 --> 00:36:08,300
- Get it on there, man.
- 717
- 00:36:08,380 --> 00:36:09,596
- Get it under your arms
- and on your chest.
- 718
- 00:36:09,620 --> 00:36:10,836
- Don't just put it on your neck. Come on.
- 719
- 00:36:10,860 --> 00:36:13,090
- I don't know, man.
- 720
- 00:36:13,180 --> 00:36:15,296
- Too much of this smells like cat piss.
- 721
- 00:36:15,380 --> 00:36:17,098
- Yeah, no shit.
- 722
- 00:36:17,180 --> 00:36:19,569
- Trying to help you out,
- and you're gonna question me?
- 723
- 00:36:19,660 --> 00:36:23,972
- Jesus. I'm telling you, man,
- chicks dig this shit. All right?
- 724
- 00:36:24,100 --> 00:36:26,614
- Now you can come back here and
- do the five-knuckle shuffle
- 725
- 00:36:26,700 --> 00:36:28,236
- all night if you want to.
- I don't really care.
- 726
- 00:36:28,260 --> 00:36:29,818
- What's the five-knuckle shuffle?
- 727
- 00:36:31,060 --> 00:36:34,336
- - Jesus, freshman, figure it out, man.
- - Oh.
- 728
- 00:36:34,420 --> 00:36:36,980
- Hey, good one, McReynolds.
- 729
- 00:36:37,060 --> 00:36:39,176
- You're so fucking desperate, dude.
- 730
- 00:36:39,260 --> 00:36:42,013
- Desperate for pussy!
- 731
- 00:37:02,460 --> 00:37:04,530
- This shirt makes me fucking sad, man.
- 732
- 00:37:05,100 --> 00:37:07,409
- Uh, what's up, guys? You lost?
- 733
- 00:37:14,620 --> 00:37:17,930
- Oh, I got the best cheese on campus.
- 734
- 00:37:18,980 --> 00:37:23,292
- I mean, girls, they come up to me
- out of the blue and they say,
- 735
- 00:37:23,380 --> 00:37:26,656
- "You got the best cheese on campus."
- 736
- 00:37:26,740 --> 00:37:27,968
- Yeah?
- 737
- 00:37:28,060 --> 00:37:31,496
- Sure those pants couldn't
- be a little tighter there?
- 738
- 00:37:31,580 --> 00:37:33,138
- Nope.
- 739
- 00:37:33,220 --> 00:37:34,972
- No?
- 740
- 00:37:35,060 --> 00:37:36,060
- What are you doing?
- 741
- 00:37:37,740 --> 00:37:39,651
- I'm going through your album collection.
- 742
- 00:37:39,740 --> 00:37:41,378
- Oh, okay, don't mind me.
- 743
- 00:37:42,820 --> 00:37:44,651
- Holy shit!
- 744
- 00:37:44,740 --> 00:37:49,097
- Nesie, look at what I found here.
- 745
- 00:37:50,580 --> 00:37:51,808
- "2nd Team All-State."
- 746
- 00:37:51,900 --> 00:37:54,175
- - Yeah, so?
- - You're a fucking badass!
- 747
- 00:37:54,260 --> 00:37:56,979
- Hey, guys! We got
- a 2nd Team All-Stater among us!
- 748
- 00:37:57,060 --> 00:37:59,255
- Fuck off with that shit, boy.
- 749
- 00:37:59,380 --> 00:38:02,452
- Golly gee, you're good. You're good.
- 750
- 00:38:02,540 --> 00:38:05,338
- Hey, I'm sure afraid
- to hit off you, 2nd Team All-State.
- 751
- 00:38:05,420 --> 00:38:08,378
- Yeah, I'm scared. Ooh!
- 752
- 00:38:08,620 --> 00:38:10,815
- 2nd Team All-State.
- 753
- 00:38:10,900 --> 00:38:12,652
- - Scariness.
- - Wait. Oh, wait.
- 754
- 00:38:12,740 --> 00:38:15,698
- Did I ask you guys
- to be in my room right now?
- 755
- 00:38:15,940 --> 00:38:19,012
- No. No. Goodbye.
- 756
- 00:38:19,100 --> 00:38:20,658
- Well, look at you.
- 757
- 00:38:20,740 --> 00:38:22,571
- Nice fucking life
- you got here, Joe College.
- 758
- 00:38:22,660 --> 00:38:24,956
- I mean, you got your whole room
- to yourself for the weekend,
- 759
- 00:38:24,980 --> 00:38:26,777
- and you got your albums.
- 760
- 00:38:26,860 --> 00:38:28,259
- This is mine now.
- 761
- 00:38:31,780 --> 00:38:32,780
- Borrowing this.
- 762
- 00:38:32,860 --> 00:38:34,054
- Hey, wait. Hey, no.
- 763
- 00:38:34,140 --> 00:38:36,256
- Hey, you return that
- with one scratch on it, Nez...
- 764
- 00:38:37,220 --> 00:38:38,778
- What? What?
- 765
- 00:38:39,740 --> 00:38:40,889
- What?
- 766
- 00:38:40,980 --> 00:38:43,050
- Just return my album, man.
- 767
- 00:38:43,140 --> 00:38:45,210
- What? What?
- 768
- 00:38:45,300 --> 00:38:46,415
- What?
- 769
- 00:38:49,860 --> 00:38:51,532
- Ooh.
- 770
- 00:38:53,420 --> 00:38:55,536
- Fuck, that guy's weird.
- 771
- 00:39:00,380 --> 00:39:04,055
- Oh, yeah, 95 on the gun, official.
- 772
- 00:39:04,140 --> 00:39:06,495
- Could've gone to anywhere in Texas.
- 773
- 00:39:06,580 --> 00:39:10,414
- I had a stack of offers
- about that high, that high.
- 774
- 00:39:10,500 --> 00:39:13,810
- - Almost went to USC.
- - Were you drafted?
- 775
- 00:39:13,900 --> 00:39:16,573
- Yeah, yeah.
- The Blue Jays almost picked me up,
- 776
- 00:39:16,660 --> 00:39:19,618
- but I told them I'm going to college
- for a couple of years.
- 777
- 00:39:19,700 --> 00:39:22,089
- - Good move.
- - Yeah, yeah.
- 778
- 00:39:22,180 --> 00:39:23,613
- - You drafted?
- - No.
- 779
- 00:39:23,700 --> 00:39:24,974
- McReynolds was.
- 780
- 00:39:25,060 --> 00:39:26,334
- Really?
- 781
- 00:39:26,420 --> 00:39:27,420
- Hmm.
- 782
- 00:39:28,060 --> 00:39:29,516
- You got some moves.
- Alison, right?
- 783
- 00:39:29,540 --> 00:39:31,132
- Like your dress.
- 784
- 00:39:32,060 --> 00:39:34,972
- - Blue, like your eyes.
- - ...baseball team.
- 785
- 00:39:35,820 --> 00:39:39,176
- - Shit, you like baseball, too?
- - Some nice... Fuck.
- 786
- 00:39:39,260 --> 00:39:41,137
- Fuck it, man.
- 787
- 00:39:41,220 --> 00:39:43,859
- - We suck tonight.
- - Dude, this is getting ridiculous.
- 788
- 00:39:43,940 --> 00:39:45,168
- We suck so fucking hard.
- 789
- 00:39:45,300 --> 00:39:47,894
- I'm gonna get a drink. Man's drink!
- 790
- 00:39:47,980 --> 00:39:50,619
- - A real drink!
- - Yeah! Yeah, do that!
- 791
- 00:39:50,700 --> 00:39:51,849
- Way to go!
- 792
- 00:39:51,940 --> 00:39:53,498
- All right. I'll see you guys in a bit.
- 793
- 00:39:53,580 --> 00:39:56,777
- - Right. See ya.
- - Okay. All right.
- 794
- 00:39:56,860 --> 00:39:59,249
- God, am I the only person
- living in reality here?
- 795
- 00:39:59,340 --> 00:40:01,456
- That I'm not gonna be
- playing this game forever?
- 796
- 00:40:01,540 --> 00:40:05,169
- Hey, man, you gotta appreciate it
- while it lasts, you know?
- 797
- 00:40:05,260 --> 00:40:06,476
- I mean, I'm a good college player.
- 798
- 00:40:06,500 --> 00:40:08,775
- But beyond that,
- I'm not counting on anything.
- 799
- 00:40:09,460 --> 00:40:12,816
- Screwdriver!
- This place is fucking awesome.
- 800
- 00:40:14,140 --> 00:40:18,133
- I've been dancing up
- on like five girls all night long, man.
- 801
- 00:40:18,220 --> 00:40:20,436
- That's not true, though.
- You haven't danced with one girl yet.
- 802
- 00:40:20,460 --> 00:40:24,533
- Yeah, I have. Oh, yeah. Before you
- got here. I was all up on 'em, man.
- 803
- 00:40:24,620 --> 00:40:27,180
- Hey, who's that douchebag
- she's dancing with?
- 804
- 00:40:27,300 --> 00:40:30,019
- Oh, Thompson?
- He's a football player.
- 805
- 00:40:30,100 --> 00:40:31,977
- What a dyke!
- 806
- 00:40:32,060 --> 00:40:37,453
- Man, this is savage.
- We're getting fucking hosed out here.
- 807
- 00:40:37,540 --> 00:40:38,655
- Fucking sucks.
- 808
- 00:40:38,740 --> 00:40:41,379
- You know what?
- I mean, taking account of the situation,
- 809
- 00:40:41,460 --> 00:40:44,020
- we're not doing so hot,
- but we're in the early innings.
- 810
- 00:40:44,100 --> 00:40:46,295
- - We got a whole game to play.
- - Yeah.
- 811
- 00:40:46,380 --> 00:40:47,940
- This is college, Jake, all right?
- 812
- 00:40:48,020 --> 00:40:50,090
- The girls can be
- as big of sluts as the guys!
- 813
- 00:40:50,180 --> 00:40:51,374
- Make it work for you.
- 814
- 00:40:51,460 --> 00:40:52,779
- Hey, screwdriver! Okay?
- 815
- 00:40:52,860 --> 00:40:54,771
- It's not the writing of
- the <i>Magna</i> fucking <i>Carta!</i>
- 816
- 00:40:54,860 --> 00:40:55,860
- That's a book.
- 817
- 00:40:55,940 --> 00:40:57,339
- Who drinks a screwdriver, anyway?
- 818
- 00:40:57,420 --> 00:40:58,773
- I drink a fucking screwdriver!
- 819
- 00:40:58,860 --> 00:41:00,851
- Everybody I know
- drinks a fucking screwdriver.
- 820
- 00:41:00,940 --> 00:41:01,996
- You know who drinks a screwdriver?
- 821
- 00:41:02,020 --> 00:41:04,636
- - My little sister drinks a screwdriver too.
- - Oh, really? Does she?
- 822
- 00:41:04,660 --> 00:41:07,777
- Does she have blue eyes
- and a big ass like you? Huh?
- 823
- 00:41:07,860 --> 00:41:09,532
- I bet she has a big ass.
- 824
- 00:41:09,620 --> 00:41:11,258
- - Big mouth!
- - Yeah.
- 825
- 00:41:13,620 --> 00:41:15,100
- Did he just flick a lime in my drink?
- 826
- 00:41:15,460 --> 00:41:17,894
- Did he just fucking...
- It's a fucking screwdriver!
- 827
- 00:41:18,020 --> 00:41:19,196
- You don't flick a fucking lime!
- 828
- 00:41:19,220 --> 00:41:20,676
- You don't have lime in a screwdriver!
- 829
- 00:41:20,700 --> 00:41:23,453
- Hey, motherfucker!
- Let's go, fucking Pancho Villa!
- 830
- 00:41:23,540 --> 00:41:27,055
- I'm gonna come back there,
- and I'll fucking make you my bitch, man!
- 831
- 00:41:27,140 --> 00:41:29,779
- Don't act like you don't like me
- just because I got good hair!
- 832
- 00:41:29,860 --> 00:41:32,613
- Now he's giving me
- the old-fashioned stare down!
- 833
- 00:41:32,740 --> 00:41:35,174
- All right, that's a fucking stare down!
- 834
- 00:41:35,260 --> 00:41:36,316
- Dude, you're staring, he's cool.
- 835
- 00:41:36,340 --> 00:41:38,196
- Oh, no, he's not cool!
- No, he's not fucking cool!
- 836
- 00:41:38,220 --> 00:41:39,956
- You're back there having
- a fucking good time!
- 837
- 00:41:39,980 --> 00:41:41,572
- I'll come show you a good time.
- 838
- 00:41:41,660 --> 00:41:44,094
- I'll come over the bar
- and show you a good time.
- 839
- 00:41:44,180 --> 00:41:46,774
- - Let's go. Let's go.
- - I'm not gonna do anything.
- 840
- 00:41:49,340 --> 00:41:50,819
- Hey! No, you fucking stay.
- 841
- 00:41:59,340 --> 00:42:00,940
- Back off! Don't touch me!
- Don't touch me!
- 842
- 00:42:08,580 --> 00:42:11,492
- Out of the club!
- Right the fuck now! Get them out!
- 843
- 00:42:11,580 --> 00:42:13,411
- All baseball players
- out of here! I mean it!
- 844
- 00:42:13,500 --> 00:42:15,570
- Let's go! Come on!
- 845
- 00:42:16,220 --> 00:42:19,212
- Get them out! Right now. Get them out.
- 846
- 00:42:20,060 --> 00:42:22,415
- Don't bring him back here again,
- you get me?
- 847
- 00:42:22,540 --> 00:42:25,054
- Let's go, boys. Let's go! Hey!
- 848
- 00:42:25,140 --> 00:42:26,653
- Keep walking.
- 849
- 00:42:26,740 --> 00:42:28,890
- I'm gonna fucking defend myself!
- 850
- 00:42:28,980 --> 00:42:30,971
- No! One more chance!
- 851
- 00:42:34,220 --> 00:42:36,814
- Fuck you! Fuck you, you jackoffs!
- 852
- 00:42:36,900 --> 00:42:39,653
- Bunch of fucking numb-nuts!
- 853
- 00:42:46,220 --> 00:42:48,051
- Suck my dick, man!
- 854
- 00:42:50,460 --> 00:42:53,099
- - You fucking asshole!
- - Stupid fucking asshole!
- 855
- 00:42:53,180 --> 00:42:54,533
- Don't bring your ass around here!
- 856
- 00:42:54,620 --> 00:42:57,009
- Bunch of fucking numb-nuts!
- 857
- 00:42:57,100 --> 00:43:00,410
- - What the fuck, Niles!
- - Well, that was ugly.
- 858
- 00:43:00,500 --> 00:43:03,298
- I don't know, just based on
- an outsider's perspective,
- 859
- 00:43:03,380 --> 00:43:05,052
- totally avoidable.
- 860
- 00:43:05,140 --> 00:43:07,096
- Well, I'm a fucking raw dog,
- all right?
- 861
- 00:43:07,180 --> 00:43:08,180
- Raw dog!
- 862
- 00:43:08,260 --> 00:43:11,536
- Anybody who fucks with me,
- they don't get fucked with back!
- 863
- 00:43:11,620 --> 00:43:12,848
- They get fucking killed!
- 864
- 00:43:12,940 --> 00:43:14,156
- The only thing you killed tonight
- 865
- 00:43:14,180 --> 00:43:16,057
- was the prospect
- of any of us getting laid!
- 866
- 00:43:16,180 --> 00:43:18,535
- Your fucking junkyard dog routine
- from fucking Detroit
- 867
- 00:43:18,620 --> 00:43:19,689
- might make you feel tough,
- 868
- 00:43:19,780 --> 00:43:21,796
- but it's not helping out any
- of your fucking teammates.
- 869
- 00:43:21,820 --> 00:43:23,538
- Watch that shit in the future.
- 870
- 00:43:23,620 --> 00:43:25,417
- It's crazy we're fucking
- defending this guy.
- 871
- 00:43:25,500 --> 00:43:27,377
- It's all so damn tribal.
- 872
- 00:43:27,460 --> 00:43:29,928
- It's the pack mentality, animal instincts.
- 873
- 00:43:30,020 --> 00:43:31,533
- All the adrenaline!
- 874
- 00:43:31,620 --> 00:43:34,180
- Guys. Hey, guys. I got a new plan.
- 875
- 00:43:34,260 --> 00:43:35,773
- We're gonna shift our focus
- 876
- 00:43:35,860 --> 00:43:37,620
- from disco snatch
- to country poon. All right?
- 877
- 00:43:37,780 --> 00:43:40,897
- No cover, free beer till 11:00
- at Guaranteed Wholesome.
- 878
- 00:43:40,980 --> 00:43:44,734
- Okay, fucking no cover, free beer!
- We can't afford not to go!
- 879
- 00:43:44,820 --> 00:43:47,732
- Fuck you, Sound Machine!
- Let's fucking go!
- 880
- 00:43:47,820 --> 00:43:49,340
- - Fuck you, Sound Machine!
- - Whoo!
- 881
- 00:43:49,460 --> 00:43:52,850
- I got seven of my bucks back!
- Ha-ha! Let's do it!
- 882
- 00:43:52,940 --> 00:43:54,612
- No, no, no, no!
- 883
- 00:43:54,700 --> 00:43:56,116
- I don't know where the hell
- you think you're going.
- 884
- 00:43:56,140 --> 00:43:58,260
- You sitting this one out
- with that "raw dog" bullshit.
- 885
- 00:43:58,300 --> 00:44:00,291
- - Sit!
- - Heel, boy. Heel, boy.
- 886
- 00:44:01,020 --> 00:44:02,931
- - Fetch.
- - Yeah!
- 887
- 00:44:04,140 --> 00:44:06,370
- I get it. I get it. I get it!
- 888
- 00:44:06,460 --> 00:44:08,098
- I'll fucking go home.
- 889
- 00:44:08,180 --> 00:44:10,057
- I got shit to do. I'll do some pushups.
- 890
- 00:44:10,140 --> 00:44:11,368
- How's that sound?
- 891
- 00:44:11,460 --> 00:44:14,452
- I'll do some pushups, do some abs.
- I'll come back looking awesome!
- 892
- 00:44:14,900 --> 00:44:16,333
- I'll read a book.
- 893
- 00:44:16,460 --> 00:44:18,416
- Fuck it! I'll fucking run home.
- 894
- 00:44:18,500 --> 00:44:20,536
- Yeah! Fuck it!
- 895
- 00:44:20,660 --> 00:44:21,888
- Fuck it!
- 896
- 00:44:21,980 --> 00:44:24,369
- Hey, check your pillows, man!
- 897
- 00:44:24,460 --> 00:44:27,054
- - What the fuck does that mean?
- - Fuck if I know.
- 898
- 00:44:27,140 --> 00:44:29,700
- Fuck's that mean? Let's fucking go.
- 899
- 00:44:29,820 --> 00:44:31,572
- I don't know about this country bar, man.
- 900
- 00:44:31,660 --> 00:44:32,660
- Wait, wait, wait.
- 901
- 00:44:32,740 --> 00:44:34,316
- What the Charlie Pride
- are you talking about?
- 902
- 00:44:34,340 --> 00:44:36,060
- We're just gonna do
- a quick wardrobe change,
- 903
- 00:44:36,140 --> 00:44:37,368
- and we're there.
- 904
- 00:44:37,500 --> 00:44:38,615
- All right, I gotta say,
- 905
- 00:44:38,700 --> 00:44:40,975
- I hate all this Cotton-Eyed Joe,
- 906
- 00:44:41,060 --> 00:44:43,176
- "Looking for love
- in all the wrong places."
- 907
- 00:44:43,260 --> 00:44:45,820
- What, Disco Boy now wearing
- a cowboy hat and boots and shit?
- 908
- 00:44:45,900 --> 00:44:47,253
- - Yeah.
- - It's unbelievable
- 909
- 00:44:47,340 --> 00:44:49,410
- that's trendy now everywhere!
- 910
- 00:44:49,500 --> 00:44:51,377
- Does that mean you're not going?
- 911
- 00:44:53,180 --> 00:44:54,408
- I didn't say that.
- 912
- 00:45:23,540 --> 00:45:25,974
- Crank it up, sweetheart! Come on, baby!
- 913
- 00:45:27,060 --> 00:45:28,493
- All right, crank it up!
- 914
- 00:45:28,660 --> 00:45:29,660
- Whoo!
- 915
- 00:45:29,860 --> 00:45:32,374
- You're not detecting
- an anti-pitcher bias around here?
- 916
- 00:45:32,460 --> 00:45:33,460
- No, man.
- 917
- 00:45:33,540 --> 00:45:34,893
- - No?
- - No!
- 918
- 00:45:34,980 --> 00:45:36,572
- - I sure as hell am.
- - Mmm.
- 919
- 00:45:37,620 --> 00:45:40,817
- Well, let me tell you something, Jake.
- 920
- 00:45:40,900 --> 00:45:42,936
- It is lonely out on the bump, man.
- 921
- 00:45:43,060 --> 00:45:46,291
- You know, hitters,
- they got no idea what that's like.
- 922
- 00:45:46,380 --> 00:45:49,292
- They don't know
- the first thing about it, you know?
- 923
- 00:45:49,380 --> 00:45:51,655
- It's the most important part
- of the game, hands down,
- 924
- 00:45:51,740 --> 00:45:54,493
- and yet it is a complete mystery to them.
- 925
- 00:45:55,140 --> 00:45:56,698
- Yeah, no shit,
- 926
- 00:45:56,780 --> 00:45:59,169
- but it's almost
- like they view us as a necessary evil.
- 927
- 00:45:59,300 --> 00:46:02,053
- Well, yeah, man,
- we kind of are, you know?
- 928
- 00:46:02,140 --> 00:46:05,177
- Mmm. But that doesn't
- make them bad guys.
- 929
- 00:46:05,260 --> 00:46:09,538
- You know, they're just...
- They're a little scared of us. You know?
- 930
- 00:46:09,620 --> 00:46:13,090
- We're fucking weird, man!
- We're different!
- 931
- 00:46:14,100 --> 00:46:15,658
- And the trick is, what's the trick?
- 932
- 00:46:15,740 --> 00:46:17,492
- I don't know. Tell me.
- 933
- 00:46:17,580 --> 00:46:20,697
- The trick is, you can't fight it.
- 934
- 00:46:20,820 --> 00:46:22,572
- You gotta accept it.
- 935
- 00:46:23,780 --> 00:46:26,817
- You gotta fucking embrace
- your inner fucking strange, man.
- 936
- 00:46:26,900 --> 00:46:28,777
- Just be fucking weird, you know?
- 937
- 00:46:29,860 --> 00:46:34,775
- And when you do that,
- you bring who you are,
- 938
- 00:46:34,860 --> 00:46:37,852
- never who they want.
- 939
- 00:46:37,940 --> 00:46:42,058
- And that, my friend, is when it gets fun.
- 940
- 00:46:42,140 --> 00:46:44,290
- So, all of y'all play on the baseball team?
- 941
- 00:46:44,380 --> 00:46:46,257
- Yeah, we got all nine positions covered.
- 942
- 00:46:46,340 --> 00:46:47,375
- And then some.
- 943
- 00:46:47,460 --> 00:46:49,769
- This one,
- this one loves catching our balls,
- 944
- 00:46:49,860 --> 00:46:50,929
- don't you, Plum?
- 945
- 00:46:51,060 --> 00:46:53,051
- He's an animal husbandry major.
- 946
- 00:46:53,140 --> 00:46:54,175
- What?
- 947
- 00:46:54,300 --> 00:46:55,956
- I'm actually studying
- to be a cunnilinguist.
- 948
- 00:46:55,980 --> 00:46:57,299
- Ooh, what's that?
- 949
- 00:46:57,380 --> 00:47:00,258
- It's a major you can
- actually practice before graduating.
- 950
- 00:47:00,340 --> 00:47:03,730
- Sometimes I feel like I'm just,
- you know, buried in my work,
- 951
- 00:47:03,820 --> 00:47:05,876
- but I feel like
- it's important to give back, you know?
- 952
- 00:47:05,900 --> 00:47:08,095
- <i>- Y'all know what time it is!</i>
- - Oh, my God!
- 953
- 00:47:08,180 --> 00:47:10,455
- <i>It's time to grab your partner dosey-do</i>
- 954
- 00:47:10,580 --> 00:47:14,129
- <i>'cause here we come
- with</i> Cotton-Eyed Joe!
- 955
- 00:47:30,860 --> 00:47:33,135
- <i>- Hey, what'd you say?</i>
- - Bullshit!
- 956
- 00:47:33,220 --> 00:47:35,131
- <i>- Y'all say what?</i>
- - Bullshit!
- 957
- 00:47:35,220 --> 00:47:37,688
- <i>- You're steppin' in what?</i>
- - Bullshit!
- 958
- 00:47:55,180 --> 00:47:57,250
- <i>- Hey, what'd you say?</i>
- - Bullshit!
- 959
- 00:47:57,340 --> 00:47:59,331
- <i>- Stepped in what?</i>
- - Bullshit!
- 960
- 00:47:59,460 --> 00:48:01,496
- <i>- A big pile of what?</i>
- - Bullshit!
- 961
- 00:48:01,580 --> 00:48:02,649
- <i>Cotton-Eyed Joe.</i>
- 962
- 00:48:07,020 --> 00:48:08,419
- Damn you, Jake!
- 963
- 00:48:08,500 --> 00:48:12,288
- - Eight up! Eight up! Let's go! Let's do it!
- - Eight-eight.
- 964
- 00:48:14,180 --> 00:48:15,579
- Okay. Let's go!
- 965
- 00:48:15,660 --> 00:48:17,059
- Get the ball now.
- 966
- 00:48:17,740 --> 00:48:19,935
- - Whoa, fuck!
- - That's for you, babe!
- 967
- 00:48:20,020 --> 00:48:22,454
- - It's our ball.
- - Damn it!
- 968
- 00:48:22,540 --> 00:48:24,610
- - Detroit?
- - What? What?
- 969
- 00:48:24,700 --> 00:48:26,179
- Ball in!
- 970
- 00:48:28,540 --> 00:48:29,689
- Night and day!
- 971
- 00:48:30,900 --> 00:48:34,017
- See, the perfect rim ingredients
- keep the drink on its toes.
- 972
- 00:48:34,100 --> 00:48:36,614
- It simultaneously
- complements then conflicts.
- 973
- 00:48:36,700 --> 00:48:39,612
- What I like to do
- is a little sugar, cayenne pepper,
- 974
- 00:48:39,700 --> 00:48:42,851
- you add a little
- whiskey, mmm, a little lime.
- 975
- 00:48:42,940 --> 00:48:44,168
- - Finn?
- - Yeah?
- 976
- 00:48:44,260 --> 00:48:46,933
- Hey, yeah,
- I just want a fucking drink, man.
- 977
- 00:48:49,060 --> 00:48:50,716
- Pardon me for trying
- to class up the joint.
- 978
- 00:48:50,740 --> 00:48:52,059
- Don't get low.
- 979
- 00:48:56,660 --> 00:48:58,013
- That's right, freshman.
- 980
- 00:48:58,100 --> 00:49:00,011
- Yeah, you keep up that
- funky-ass spin shit.
- 981
- 00:49:00,100 --> 00:49:01,300
- I've got you figured out, son.
- 982
- 00:49:01,380 --> 00:49:02,699
- Yeah, that's just what I want.
- 983
- 00:49:02,780 --> 00:49:05,613
- You thinking you got me clocked,
- then I set you up.
- 984
- 00:49:05,700 --> 00:49:07,531
- I'll let you know when I feel threatened.
- 985
- 00:49:10,460 --> 00:49:11,779
- You feeling threatened yet?
- 986
- 00:49:13,820 --> 00:49:15,617
- All right, smartass.
- 987
- 00:49:16,580 --> 00:49:19,777
- - 19-17.
- - Actually, it's 17 -19.
- 988
- 00:49:20,460 --> 00:49:24,612
- Thank you, Nesbit! 17 -19, is that better?
- 989
- 00:49:24,700 --> 00:49:27,294
- Uh... No, I'm scared now, but, yeah...
- 990
- 00:49:27,380 --> 00:49:28,380
- Can we fucking play now?
- 991
- 00:49:41,580 --> 00:49:42,854
- God damn it!
- 992
- 00:49:42,980 --> 00:49:46,211
- Glen, get your head
- out of your fucking ass! Let's go!
- 993
- 00:49:46,300 --> 00:49:49,053
- - 20-17!
- - 17 -point.
- 994
- 00:49:49,140 --> 00:49:52,291
- I swear to fucking God! Shut your mouth!
- 995
- 00:49:52,940 --> 00:49:54,498
- 17 -point!
- 996
- 00:50:01,500 --> 00:50:02,876
- Hey, good game, man. Let's play again.
- 997
- 00:50:02,900 --> 00:50:04,413
- Fuck!
- 998
- 00:50:04,500 --> 00:50:05,569
- Fuck.
- 999
- 00:50:10,780 --> 00:50:11,929
- Stupid fucking game!
- 1000
- 00:50:12,020 --> 00:50:13,817
- - My dad was a table...
- - Fuck off.
- 1001
- 00:50:13,900 --> 00:50:15,697
- Now I gotta put out that fucking fire.
- 1002
- 00:50:15,780 --> 00:50:17,700
- - That dude needs to relax.
- - Thanks, Jake.
- 1003
- 00:50:17,780 --> 00:50:19,213
- I told you so, man.
- 1004
- 00:50:19,300 --> 00:50:21,655
- He broke the fucking paddle.
- Look at that shit.
- 1005
- 00:50:21,740 --> 00:50:24,334
- Jake. Jake. Jake. Jake.
- 1006
- 00:50:24,420 --> 00:50:25,489
- Here.
- 1007
- 00:50:25,580 --> 00:50:29,095
- Uh-oh. If things calm down,
- Nez, you're next, bro.
- 1008
- 00:50:29,180 --> 00:50:30,579
- - Fuck!
- - You're up, man.
- 1009
- 00:50:30,660 --> 00:50:32,076
- I don't think
- you could use that one, though.
- 1010
- 00:50:32,100 --> 00:50:34,568
- He does not like losing, at all!
- 1011
- 00:50:38,180 --> 00:50:39,852
- Lot of <i>Twilight Zones,</i> man.
- 1012
- 00:50:39,940 --> 00:50:41,771
- Yeah.
- 1013
- 00:50:41,860 --> 00:50:44,294
- Almost every single episode.
- 1014
- 00:50:44,380 --> 00:50:48,419
- Recorded them all
- over the last year or so.
- 1015
- 00:50:48,500 --> 00:50:50,196
- Yeah, you got that one
- where the lady,
- 1016
- 00:50:50,220 --> 00:50:52,450
- she's getting the surgery
- to correct how ugly she is?
- 1017
- 00:50:52,540 --> 00:50:53,893
- - Yeah!
- - So she gets surgery,
- 1018
- 00:50:53,980 --> 00:50:55,618
- but it turns out that she's beautiful,
- 1019
- 00:50:55,700 --> 00:50:58,134
- and everyone else is, like, hideous.
- 1020
- 00:50:58,220 --> 00:51:00,097
- Yeah, yeah, absolutely, dude.
- 1021
- 00:51:00,180 --> 00:51:01,820
- - You know what that's called?
- - No.
- 1022
- 00:51:01,900 --> 00:51:04,892
- - "The Eye of the Beholder."
- - Yeah, yeah, that one.
- 1023
- 00:51:05,020 --> 00:51:09,138
- Yeah, Season 2, Episode 5,
- if I'm not mistaken.
- 1024
- 00:51:09,260 --> 00:51:10,978
- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
- 1025
- 00:51:11,060 --> 00:51:13,210
- Whoa there, Willoughby.
- 1026
- 00:51:13,300 --> 00:51:15,097
- There's no way
- you're gonna suck that down
- 1027
- 00:51:15,180 --> 00:51:16,772
- in one hit, man.
- 1028
- 00:51:16,860 --> 00:51:20,330
- Yeah. Yeah.
- There's gonna be too much smoke.
- 1029
- 00:51:20,420 --> 00:51:24,208
- You know, like, there's not even
- enough room in your body
- 1030
- 00:51:24,300 --> 00:51:26,939
- for the amount of smoke
- there's gonna be.
- 1031
- 00:51:27,020 --> 00:51:28,294
- Really?
- 1032
- 00:51:28,420 --> 00:51:31,890
- Well, take notes, boys,
- 1033
- 00:51:31,980 --> 00:51:35,370
- 'cause I grew up on two rivers.
- 1034
- 00:51:35,460 --> 00:51:38,372
- All right, I got fucking swimmer's lungs.
- I'm a river rat.
- 1035
- 00:51:38,460 --> 00:51:39,939
- And don't forget, he does have
- 1036
- 00:51:40,020 --> 00:51:42,170
- a double chamber
- cooling system on that thing.
- 1037
- 00:51:42,260 --> 00:51:44,774
- I don't care if he grew up
- on 40 fucking rivers,
- 1038
- 00:51:44,860 --> 00:51:46,179
- it's just not happening.
- 1039
- 00:51:46,260 --> 00:51:48,410
- Okay.
- 1040
- 00:51:48,500 --> 00:51:52,971
- Okay. Well, get ready.
- 1041
- 00:52:03,340 --> 00:52:04,340
- Oh!
- 1042
- 00:52:06,500 --> 00:52:09,219
- Oh, shit, no, no, no. Is it?
- 1043
- 00:52:10,620 --> 00:52:13,657
- - Oh, my God.
- - Un-fucking real, man.
- 1044
- 00:52:13,740 --> 00:52:16,015
- - Shit!
- - Fucking unreal.
- 1045
- 00:52:16,100 --> 00:52:17,613
- Super-human!
- 1046
- 00:52:19,740 --> 00:52:21,378
- Wow, man.
- 1047
- 00:52:23,100 --> 00:52:25,660
- Fucking mahogany rush, man.
- 1048
- 00:52:27,580 --> 00:52:29,775
- Oh, you know,
- I don't wanna be presumptuous.
- 1049
- 00:52:29,860 --> 00:52:31,896
- I know that I only
- have been here for a few days,
- 1050
- 00:52:31,980 --> 00:52:34,972
- but I'm pretty sure that
- that is a new school record.
- 1051
- 00:52:35,940 --> 00:52:38,215
- Bullshit. Bullshit. Just...
- 1052
- 00:52:38,300 --> 00:52:40,973
- Let's break that
- school record right fucking now.
- 1053
- 00:52:41,100 --> 00:52:42,818
- Oh, yeah? All right.
- 1054
- 00:52:42,940 --> 00:52:44,771
- - I don't know, dude.
- - Go for it, man.
- 1055
- 00:52:45,980 --> 00:52:49,211
- God. Listen to this song.
- 1056
- 00:52:49,940 --> 00:52:52,579
- Listen to this progression here, okay?
- 1057
- 00:52:53,140 --> 00:52:54,493
- Listen to how it goes up.
- 1058
- 00:52:54,620 --> 00:52:59,136
- It steps up from one moment to
- another and leads you there, just...
- 1059
- 00:53:05,940 --> 00:53:08,659
- Oh, yes. I mean, look,
- 1060
- 00:53:08,740 --> 00:53:12,096
- you can play an E pentatonic
- scale at 100 miles an hour
- 1061
- 00:53:12,180 --> 00:53:14,933
- till somebody's ears burn off,
- you can learn that, right?
- 1062
- 00:53:15,020 --> 00:53:18,330
- But finding the tangents
- within the framework,
- 1063
- 00:53:19,620 --> 00:53:21,531
- therein lies the artistry, man.
- 1064
- 00:53:22,500 --> 00:53:26,254
- You know, a fucking
- bunch of dudes jump around on stage,
- 1065
- 00:53:26,340 --> 00:53:28,615
- jerking each other off,
- you know, in spandex,
- 1066
- 00:53:28,700 --> 00:53:30,452
- isn't fucking music.
- 1067
- 00:53:32,860 --> 00:53:36,773
- I don't know, man. I kinda like Van Halen.
- 1068
- 00:53:36,860 --> 00:53:40,535
- Well, yeah, Plum, you do.
- And you know why you do?
- 1069
- 00:53:40,660 --> 00:53:43,857
- Because corporate America
- is shoving something down your throat
- 1070
- 00:53:43,980 --> 00:53:45,129
- and making you believe it,
- 1071
- 00:53:45,220 --> 00:53:47,051
- because that's what
- they want you to believe.
- 1072
- 00:53:47,180 --> 00:53:51,139
- I mean, guys,
- it's about finding out who you are
- 1073
- 00:53:52,060 --> 00:53:53,618
- in the space
- 1074
- 00:53:53,700 --> 00:53:56,851
- in-between the notes
- that they're offering you.
- 1075
- 00:53:57,700 --> 00:54:01,454
- I mean, you gotta tune in, man.
- You gotta tune in.
- 1076
- 00:54:01,540 --> 00:54:05,533
- You know,
- and don't be afraid
- 1077
- 00:54:05,660 --> 00:54:07,935
- to let the experience find you.
- 1078
- 00:54:11,820 --> 00:54:13,970
- It's like Carl Sagan says, man,
- 1079
- 00:54:14,060 --> 00:54:17,496
- "The beauty of a living thing
- isn't about the atoms that go into it,
- 1080
- 00:54:17,580 --> 00:54:20,048
- "it's how those atoms are put together."
- 1081
- 00:54:22,660 --> 00:54:25,652
- I mean, language, fucking language.
- What is language?
- 1082
- 00:54:25,740 --> 00:54:28,971
- Language is a construct, man.
- You know?
- 1083
- 00:54:29,100 --> 00:54:31,170
- And we used to be telepathic.
- 1084
- 00:54:31,260 --> 00:54:33,137
- Humans were telepathic, man.
- 1085
- 00:54:33,220 --> 00:54:35,814
- We could just... Right here. You know?
- 1086
- 00:54:35,940 --> 00:54:37,737
- The fucking Mayans knew it, man.
- 1087
- 00:54:37,900 --> 00:54:39,970
- The Druids fucking knew it.
- 1088
- 00:54:41,260 --> 00:54:43,330
- And you think
- the way things are going now
- 1089
- 00:54:43,420 --> 00:54:45,934
- that we're ever gonna get that back?
- 1090
- 00:54:47,180 --> 00:54:49,853
- - Fucking no.
- - No.
- 1091
- 00:54:49,940 --> 00:54:52,534
- Do you guys wanna try
- a little telepathic shit?
- 1092
- 00:54:52,620 --> 00:54:54,258
- Let's do it.
- 1093
- 00:54:54,380 --> 00:54:57,258
- Okay, lock in. Lock in.
- 1094
- 00:54:58,260 --> 00:55:00,296
- - You locked in? All right.
- - Yeah.
- 1095
- 00:55:13,180 --> 00:55:16,058
- - What am I thinking about?
- - Baseball.
- 1096
- 00:55:16,140 --> 00:55:19,132
- - Having a tail.
- - Cereal?
- 1097
- 00:55:19,980 --> 00:55:21,049
- Fuck.
- 1098
- 00:55:22,260 --> 00:55:23,659
- Dude, I was thinking about sharks.
- 1099
- 00:55:24,300 --> 00:55:26,076
- - Fuck!
- - I was thinking about sharks.
- 1100
- 00:55:26,100 --> 00:55:27,852
- Sharks have tails.
- 1101
- 00:55:27,940 --> 00:55:29,156
- That's a good point. That's a good point.
- 1102
- 00:55:29,180 --> 00:55:32,172
- I wish I had a tail.
- Fuck, that'd be awesome.
- 1103
- 00:55:33,660 --> 00:55:35,571
- - Oh, my God.
- - Fuck you!
- 1104
- 00:55:35,660 --> 00:55:36,729
- I'll take one.
- 1105
- 00:55:36,820 --> 00:55:38,651
- Sharpshooter status, right here.
- 1106
- 00:55:38,740 --> 00:55:40,651
- Coming at you! Coming at you!
- 1107
- 00:55:42,500 --> 00:55:43,615
- Been working out.
- 1108
- 00:55:43,700 --> 00:55:46,692
- Hey! Man-child here
- thinks he can take me.
- 1109
- 00:55:47,220 --> 00:55:50,929
- Even though he knows
- I'm the reigning knuckles champ.
- 1110
- 00:55:51,020 --> 00:55:53,773
- Two years in a row. Undefeated.
- 1111
- 00:55:54,780 --> 00:55:55,974
- Bitch.
- 1112
- 00:55:56,860 --> 00:55:59,738
- Hey, have you noticed everything
- around here's a competition, huh?
- 1113
- 00:56:00,860 --> 00:56:03,533
- Even taking hits from bongs.
- 1114
- 00:56:03,620 --> 00:56:06,532
- - Look at you, ping-pong pimp.
- - Yeah!
- 1115
- 00:56:06,620 --> 00:56:09,180
- You see that back there though?
- Mac almost took my head off.
- 1116
- 00:56:09,300 --> 00:56:10,528
- Hey, look,
- 1117
- 00:56:10,700 --> 00:56:13,373
- if Mac wanted to
- take your head off with that paddle,
- 1118
- 00:56:13,500 --> 00:56:14,933
- he would have.
- 1119
- 00:56:15,020 --> 00:56:17,250
- All right, man,
- he just don't like losing at anything.
- 1120
- 00:56:17,340 --> 00:56:18,978
- None of us do.
- 1121
- 00:56:19,060 --> 00:56:20,254
- Fuck yeah!
- 1122
- 00:56:20,380 --> 00:56:23,656
- Okay, look, that's just, what,
- Willoughby, borderline insane?
- 1123
- 00:56:23,740 --> 00:56:26,174
- - About there?
- - Yeah, border. Borderline.
- 1124
- 00:56:26,340 --> 00:56:28,456
- Well, you notice
- how everybody was somewhat courteous
- 1125
- 00:56:28,540 --> 00:56:30,053
- - on the first day or so?
- - Yeah.
- 1126
- 00:56:30,220 --> 00:56:32,097
- See, now the gloves are off.
- 1127
- 00:56:32,180 --> 00:56:34,774
- All of our true
- assholish nature is emerging.
- 1128
- 00:56:34,860 --> 00:56:36,259
- Ah. Not very healthy.
- 1129
- 00:56:36,380 --> 00:56:38,530
- Until we get out
- on the field, Jakie.
- 1130
- 00:56:39,220 --> 00:56:42,098
- This, this, all of this,
- 1131
- 00:56:42,900 --> 00:56:45,036
- this is why we're
- one of the best teams in the nation, man.
- 1132
- 00:56:45,060 --> 00:56:46,971
- You get a bunch
- of competitors together...
- 1133
- 00:56:47,060 --> 00:56:50,496
- - Yeah.
- - ...and you're addicted to winning.
- 1134
- 00:56:50,580 --> 00:56:52,036
- That's a championship team right there...
- 1135
- 00:56:52,060 --> 00:56:54,210
- - Oh, I see.
- - ...flicking each other's knuckles.
- 1136
- 00:56:59,780 --> 00:57:02,692
- - All right.
- - Damn!
- 1137
- 00:57:02,780 --> 00:57:04,657
- That's all swolled up.
- 1138
- 00:57:04,740 --> 00:57:06,856
- That's gonna be erupting
- like Mount St. Helens
- 1139
- 00:57:06,940 --> 00:57:08,612
- or some shit, man.
- 1140
- 00:57:10,460 --> 00:57:11,973
- You had enough?
- 1141
- 00:57:13,580 --> 00:57:15,236
- See, you can tell a lot
- about somebody
- 1142
- 00:57:15,260 --> 00:57:16,716
- from these stupid little competitions.
- 1143
- 00:57:16,740 --> 00:57:17,740
- Really?
- 1144
- 00:57:17,780 --> 00:57:19,691
- Yeah, something's
- always revealed, like...
- 1145
- 00:57:19,780 --> 00:57:22,214
- Are you a competitor? Are you a gamer?
- 1146
- 00:57:22,300 --> 00:57:25,975
- You know, can you find a way
- to overcome all obstacles
- 1147
- 00:57:26,060 --> 00:57:28,335
- to practically will yourself to victory.
- 1148
- 00:57:28,420 --> 00:57:30,411
- Or, are you a...
- 1149
- 00:57:30,500 --> 00:57:31,853
- - Fuck it!
- - ...quitter?
- 1150
- 00:57:31,940 --> 00:57:33,316
- I'm fucking done, all right!
- 1151
- 00:57:33,340 --> 00:57:35,695
- - Folded like a lawn chair.
- - Yup. Yup, yup, yup.
- 1152
- 00:57:35,780 --> 00:57:37,850
- - Good game, man.
- - You can't...
- 1153
- 00:57:37,940 --> 00:57:39,658
- No, you can't beat me twice in a row!
- 1154
- 00:57:39,740 --> 00:57:41,537
- I know that for a fucking fact!
- 1155
- 00:57:41,620 --> 00:57:44,259
- And it's best two out of three, okay?
- 1156
- 00:57:44,420 --> 00:57:45,535
- Them's the rule, Brums!
- 1157
- 00:57:45,620 --> 00:57:47,690
- - Okay, man.
- - Okay, all right!
- 1158
- 00:57:47,780 --> 00:57:49,236
- Give me my hat, all right?
- 1159
- 00:57:49,260 --> 00:57:51,012
- Stop laughing, Coma!
- It's not fucking funny!
- 1160
- 00:57:51,100 --> 00:57:53,170
- Tomorrow, same time, all right?
- 1161
- 00:57:53,300 --> 00:57:54,619
- Sure thing.
- 1162
- 00:57:54,780 --> 00:57:56,850
- Stop laughing, Dale!
- 1163
- 00:57:58,300 --> 00:57:59,596
- Hey, you're still the champ!
- 1164
- 00:57:59,620 --> 00:58:01,212
- Fuck off, Brum!
- 1165
- 00:58:01,300 --> 00:58:02,436
- You'll always be the champ, Nesie.
- 1166
- 00:58:02,460 --> 00:58:03,529
- Shut up. Let's go.
- 1167
- 00:58:03,620 --> 00:58:05,980
- - Hey, did you guys see me win?
- - Put your fucking hands up.
- 1168
- 00:58:06,940 --> 00:58:09,215
- Who are these people?
- 1169
- 00:58:09,300 --> 00:58:11,131
- Like this guy with the backpack?
- 1170
- 00:58:12,140 --> 00:58:14,256
- And this dude on the porch?
- 1171
- 00:58:14,660 --> 00:58:16,890
- Like, I know what we're doing here.
- 1172
- 00:58:16,980 --> 00:58:19,130
- You know, we're playing baseball.
- 1173
- 00:58:19,220 --> 00:58:21,780
- What are all these
- other guys doing here?
- 1174
- 00:58:21,860 --> 00:58:22,956
- Yeah, I think that, too.
- 1175
- 00:58:22,980 --> 00:58:24,780
- Like, what would it be like
- to go through life
- 1176
- 00:58:24,820 --> 00:58:27,414
- knowing there's no way
- you'd ever play pro ball?
- 1177
- 00:58:27,500 --> 00:58:29,456
- Exactly.
- 1178
- 00:58:29,540 --> 00:58:33,579
- All these people
- never be anything more than
- 1179
- 00:58:33,660 --> 00:58:36,732
- some dude doing some job,
- 1180
- 00:58:36,820 --> 00:58:39,175
- just like everybody else.
- 1181
- 00:58:39,260 --> 00:58:40,295
- Bradford!
- 1182
- 00:58:41,380 --> 00:58:42,415
- Ha-ha!
- 1183
- 00:58:42,500 --> 00:58:45,060
- Holy shit! Justin?
- 1184
- 00:58:45,140 --> 00:58:47,096
- - Hey!
- - What's up, man?
- 1185
- 00:58:47,180 --> 00:58:48,900
- - How you doing?
- - This is where you living?
- 1186
- 00:58:48,980 --> 00:58:51,096
- As of right now,
- but hey, don't let them know.
- 1187
- 00:58:51,180 --> 00:58:53,091
- These are my teammates.
- Plum, Finn, and Coma.
- 1188
- 00:58:53,180 --> 00:58:55,740
- - What's going on, fellas?
- - Hey, guys, this is Justin.
- 1189
- 00:58:55,820 --> 00:58:57,476
- We used to play ball
- in high school together.
- 1190
- 00:58:57,500 --> 00:58:59,934
- - What's up?
- - What's happening, man?
- 1191
- 00:59:00,020 --> 00:59:01,772
- Not much. But hey,
- I'm loving this new look.
- 1192
- 00:59:01,860 --> 00:59:03,088
- - Oh, yeah?
- - This new 'do!
- 1193
- 00:59:03,180 --> 00:59:05,057
- I love this. What, is it pledge week?
- 1194
- 00:59:05,140 --> 00:59:06,619
- Yeah. Fuck you, too.
- 1195
- 00:59:06,700 --> 00:59:08,156
- - Come on, let's get a beer. Come in.
- - Yeah.
- 1196
- 00:59:08,180 --> 00:59:10,091
- Hey, you guys want a beer? Come on.
- 1197
- 00:59:10,180 --> 00:59:12,091
- - Why not?
- - Why?
- 1198
- 00:59:12,180 --> 00:59:14,020
- This is my old
- high school buddy, Jake.
- 1199
- 00:59:15,140 --> 00:59:16,619
- Hey, you still with Gretchen?
- 1200
- 00:59:16,700 --> 00:59:18,213
- Fuck Gretchen!
- 1201
- 00:59:22,540 --> 00:59:24,770
- Hey, you gotta
- walk me through this, man.
- 1202
- 00:59:24,860 --> 00:59:27,454
- What, you just wake up
- one morning just fucking...
- 1203
- 00:59:27,540 --> 00:59:28,973
- Nah, man. It's as simple as this.
- 1204
- 00:59:29,060 --> 00:59:31,449
- You go to a show,
- meet a couple of cute girls,
- 1205
- 00:59:31,540 --> 00:59:33,132
- get drunk, later that night
- 1206
- 00:59:33,220 --> 00:59:36,020
- they're chopping bits of your hair off,
- giving you real bangs.
- 1207
- 00:59:36,380 --> 00:59:38,940
- Used to, I'd be like, "No, don't do that."
- 1208
- 00:59:39,020 --> 00:59:40,248
- But now that I don't play
- 1209
- 00:59:40,340 --> 00:59:41,636
- on a team anymore...
- 1210
- 00:59:41,660 --> 00:59:44,254
- ...or I'm doing anything
- particularly "respectable,"
- 1211
- 00:59:44,340 --> 00:59:45,568
- I'm like, fuck it!
- 1212
- 00:59:45,660 --> 00:59:47,616
- Whatever, man.
- 1213
- 00:59:48,500 --> 00:59:49,876
- Mmm. Oh, we're going to a show soon.
- 1214
- 00:59:49,900 --> 00:59:51,196
- Man, there are six bands in town,
- 1215
- 00:59:51,220 --> 00:59:53,051
- some from L.A., some from Austin.
- 1216
- 00:59:53,140 --> 00:59:54,900
- We're gonna go in a bit.
- You guys wanna join?
- 1217
- 00:59:55,620 --> 00:59:57,451
- Uh, we've got our party tonight.
- 1218
- 00:59:57,540 --> 01:00:00,498
- Yeah, yeah,
- we should probably set up for it, right?
- 1219
- 01:00:00,580 --> 01:00:02,556
- No, it's not till later.
- Yeah. No, we're just walking around,
- 1220
- 01:00:02,580 --> 01:00:03,676
- heading to the Student Center.
- 1221
- 01:00:03,700 --> 01:00:07,488
- Student Center? Come with us.
- Come on, we'll fix you up!
- 1222
- 01:00:07,580 --> 01:00:08,729
- You guys down for that?
- 1223
- 01:00:08,900 --> 01:00:09,900
- Uh...
- 1224
- 01:00:10,100 --> 01:00:11,169
- Finn?
- 1225
- 01:00:12,420 --> 01:00:14,251
- - Of course we're down!
- - Yeah!
- 1226
- 01:00:14,340 --> 01:00:17,332
- Come on, man. What about
- Costello or the Talking Heads?
- 1227
- 01:00:17,420 --> 01:00:19,331
- They're great. Devo and The Cars,
- 1228
- 01:00:19,420 --> 01:00:21,376
- look, there's a lot of
- decent stuff out there.
- 1229
- 01:00:21,460 --> 01:00:23,735
- We got a whole
- 'nother thing going on around here.
- 1230
- 01:00:23,820 --> 01:00:26,015
- This? This is ours.
- 1231
- 01:00:26,100 --> 01:00:28,568
- At least take
- the sunglasses off, man.
- 1232
- 01:00:28,660 --> 01:00:30,093
- You look like a fucking narc.
- 1233
- 01:00:30,180 --> 01:00:31,636
- Hey, I don't think we really fit in here.
- 1234
- 01:00:31,660 --> 01:00:34,538
- No, no, you don't fit in.
- Okay, I told you to change.
- 1235
- 01:00:34,620 --> 01:00:35,916
- Will you at least untuck your shirt?
- 1236
- 01:00:35,940 --> 01:00:37,293
- You look like a Bible salesman.
- 1237
- 01:00:37,460 --> 01:00:39,257
- These people could really use a Bible!
- 1238
- 01:00:39,340 --> 01:00:41,012
- Got both of them.
- 1239
- 01:00:41,140 --> 01:00:42,175
- Whoo!
- 1240
- 01:00:59,820 --> 01:01:01,811
- I'm starting to have
- an identity crisis here.
- 1241
- 01:01:03,660 --> 01:01:05,093
- What are you talking about?
- 1242
- 01:01:06,220 --> 01:01:07,972
- Look at us, man.
- 1243
- 01:01:08,060 --> 01:01:09,796
- The last three nights,
- we've danced at a disco,
- 1244
- 01:01:09,820 --> 01:01:11,538
- total mindless disco music,
- 1245
- 01:01:11,620 --> 01:01:13,372
- danced the <i>Cotton-Eyed Joe</i>
- in kicker attire,
- 1246
- 01:01:14,020 --> 01:01:15,851
- and here we are, punks for a night.
- 1247
- 01:01:17,460 --> 01:01:20,099
- It sort of begs the question
- about who we really are.
- 1248
- 01:01:20,660 --> 01:01:22,140
- Are you insecure about the duck feet?
- 1249
- 01:01:22,220 --> 01:01:23,476
- So insecure about the duck feet.
- 1250
- 01:01:23,500 --> 01:01:24,853
- The duck feet look great, dude.
- 1251
- 01:01:24,940 --> 01:01:27,135
- - Serious? Promise?
- - Yeah, they look great.
- 1252
- 01:01:27,220 --> 01:01:29,017
- Look, I'll tell you who we are.
- 1253
- 01:01:29,100 --> 01:01:30,556
- We're a couple of guys
- who are gonna do
- 1254
- 01:01:30,580 --> 01:01:32,969
- whatever it takes to get laid.
- That's who we are.
- 1255
- 01:01:33,060 --> 01:01:34,413
- It just seems a little phony.
- 1256
- 01:01:34,500 --> 01:01:37,776
- It's not phony. Okay? It's adaptive.
- 1257
- 01:01:37,860 --> 01:01:38,956
- All right, think about this.
- 1258
- 01:01:38,980 --> 01:01:41,448
- There are animals, salmon, spiders
- 1259
- 01:01:41,540 --> 01:01:44,418
- that will literally die
- in the process of mating.
- 1260
- 01:01:44,500 --> 01:01:45,819
- I mean, what are we doing?
- 1261
- 01:01:45,900 --> 01:01:47,756
- We're switching around
- our wardrobe a little bit.
- 1262
- 01:01:47,780 --> 01:01:49,691
- It's camouflage!
- 1263
- 01:01:50,700 --> 01:01:51,836
- You need to stop thinking so much.
- 1264
- 01:01:51,860 --> 01:01:52,940
- You're fucking yourself up.
- 1265
- 01:01:53,020 --> 01:01:55,534
- Oh! Dude, look at you, man.
- You're one to talk.
- 1266
- 01:01:55,620 --> 01:01:56,836
- I actually don't think that much.
- 1267
- 01:01:56,860 --> 01:02:00,250
- I actually don't think at all.
- I just, you know, I talk a lot.
- 1268
- 01:02:00,340 --> 01:02:02,808
- This is the jazz improv. You're invited.
- 1269
- 01:02:05,420 --> 01:02:07,012
- - Uh-oh.
- - What?
- 1270
- 01:02:07,140 --> 01:02:08,414
- Listen.
- 1271
- 01:02:09,660 --> 01:02:10,775
- Hear that?
- 1272
- 01:02:11,180 --> 01:02:13,455
- That's the Gilligan's Island theme song!
- 1273
- 01:02:13,540 --> 01:02:14,655
- Yes, it is.
- 1274
- 01:02:14,740 --> 01:02:16,617
- You can make a punk song out of that?
- 1275
- 01:02:16,700 --> 01:02:18,736
- Coming full circle.
- 1276
- 01:02:18,860 --> 01:02:20,657
- It's all coming around.
- 1277
- 01:02:31,340 --> 01:02:32,375
- Are you liking it?
- 1278
- 01:02:32,500 --> 01:02:34,456
- I'm liking it. Shall we go?
- 1279
- 01:03:02,380 --> 01:03:03,938
- This might be our best batch.
- 1280
- 01:03:04,020 --> 01:03:06,488
- This is gonna be the best ever.
- 1281
- 01:03:08,380 --> 01:03:11,895
- That's some pussy shit.
- It tastes like fruit punch.
- 1282
- 01:03:11,980 --> 01:03:14,813
- Well, that's the sign
- of a good coon dog punch, Coma.
- 1283
- 01:03:14,900 --> 01:03:17,733
- No, no, not until Coma gets in here.
- 1284
- 01:03:17,820 --> 01:03:18,855
- All right,
- 1285
- 01:03:18,940 --> 01:03:20,692
- - so this is about done.
- - Mmm-hmm.
- 1286
- 01:03:21,220 --> 01:03:22,938
- What I need you to do is take that sifter,
- 1287
- 01:03:23,020 --> 01:03:24,738
- and then pour about half of that.
- 1288
- 01:03:24,820 --> 01:03:26,299
- - Okay.
- - Just about half.
- 1289
- 01:03:26,860 --> 01:03:27,975
- Into the bowl.
- 1290
- 01:04:02,620 --> 01:04:05,418
- Brain dead, let's go!
- 1291
- 01:04:06,260 --> 01:04:09,491
- All right! Jake!
- Where you fucking been, man?
- 1292
- 01:04:09,580 --> 01:04:10,615
- What's up?
- 1293
- 01:04:10,700 --> 01:04:12,292
- You got some catching up to do.
- 1294
- 01:04:12,380 --> 01:04:13,972
- Get in here! You're up!
- 1295
- 01:04:14,100 --> 01:04:16,170
- Go, go, go.
- 1296
- 01:04:16,260 --> 01:04:18,933
- - Oh, my God.
- - Oh! Hey!
- 1297
- 01:04:19,020 --> 01:04:21,250
- Welcome to the fucking party, Jake!
- 1298
- 01:04:21,340 --> 01:04:23,058
- Yeah, baby!
- 1299
- 01:04:23,140 --> 01:04:25,335
- You know what they call me?
- 1300
- 01:04:25,420 --> 01:04:27,251
- The raw dog.
- 1301
- 01:04:27,340 --> 01:04:29,058
- You wanna know why?
- 1302
- 01:04:30,060 --> 01:04:32,813
- 'Cause I'm the fucking raw dog, man.
- 1303
- 01:04:32,900 --> 01:04:34,777
- It's not about the ingredients,
- 1304
- 01:04:34,860 --> 01:04:37,499
- it's about the way
- the ingredients make you feel.
- 1305
- 01:04:37,580 --> 01:04:39,093
- The experience.
- 1306
- 01:04:40,260 --> 01:04:45,414
- That's why I say, "Indulge in temptation."
- 1307
- 01:04:45,500 --> 01:04:47,297
- I'm not watching.
- 1308
- 01:04:50,860 --> 01:04:52,259
- - Are you serious?
- - Ow!
- 1309
- 01:04:54,940 --> 01:04:56,498
- Okay.
- 1310
- 01:04:56,580 --> 01:05:00,812
- Chug it, Justin! Go, go, go, go, go!
- 1311
- 01:05:00,940 --> 01:05:02,692
- Whoo-hoo!
- 1312
- 01:05:09,260 --> 01:05:11,569
- - Whoo!
- - Yeah! Here we go.
- 1313
- 01:05:16,380 --> 01:05:17,380
- Oh!
- 1314
- 01:05:18,780 --> 01:05:20,577
- Yes.
- 1315
- 01:05:20,660 --> 01:05:22,020
- So, where is the flag?
- 1316
- 01:05:22,060 --> 01:05:23,288
- Right there, Volkswagen.
- 1317
- 01:05:23,420 --> 01:05:25,217
- Oh, there's the flag.
- 1318
- 01:05:25,340 --> 01:05:27,535
- - Ready?
- - Aim...
- 1319
- 01:05:28,340 --> 01:05:29,739
- Fire.
- 1320
- 01:05:30,380 --> 01:05:31,415
- Oh!
- 1321
- 01:05:31,500 --> 01:05:32,979
- Wow.
- 1322
- 01:05:34,740 --> 01:05:35,956
- - You are a natural.
- - Thank you.
- 1323
- 01:05:35,980 --> 01:05:37,580
- - I don't know. I don't know.
- - Let's go!
- 1324
- 01:05:39,100 --> 01:05:41,156
- Come on, no one on their
- deathbed is filled with regrets
- 1325
- 01:05:41,180 --> 01:05:43,250
- of the things they've done.
- 1326
- 01:05:44,340 --> 01:05:47,059
- It's those things they didn't do.
- 1327
- 01:05:47,140 --> 01:05:50,769
- You're not gonna let this be
- one of those things, are you?
- 1328
- 01:05:51,820 --> 01:05:52,855
- I guess not.
- 1329
- 01:05:52,940 --> 01:05:54,373
- Of course not!
- 1330
- 01:05:55,220 --> 01:05:56,335
- Yeah?
- 1331
- 01:05:56,420 --> 01:05:58,775
- Competitors ready? Go!
- 1332
- 01:06:02,740 --> 01:06:04,093
- - Yeah.
- - Go!
- 1333
- 01:06:20,980 --> 01:06:22,732
- - Yeah!
- - Whoo!
- 1334
- 01:06:31,140 --> 01:06:32,459
- Okay, baby!
- 1335
- 01:07:01,020 --> 01:07:03,011
- - Let's go!
- - Yeah, yeah, yeah!
- 1336
- 01:07:03,100 --> 01:07:04,169
- Let's go!
- 1337
- 01:07:30,460 --> 01:07:31,939
- - Phone.
- - What, man?
- 1338
- 01:07:32,020 --> 01:07:33,931
- Dude, some chick on the line, man.
- 1339
- 01:07:34,020 --> 01:07:35,214
- - Yeah.
- - Yeah.
- 1340
- 01:07:35,300 --> 01:07:37,894
- Said she wanted to squat on your boner.
- 1341
- 01:07:41,460 --> 01:07:42,779
- Hello?
- 1342
- 01:07:42,860 --> 01:07:43,929
- Hi.
- 1343
- 01:07:44,060 --> 01:07:46,176
- Is this the guy that left
- the flowers on my door?
- 1344
- 01:07:46,260 --> 01:07:48,137
- Yeah.
- 1345
- 01:07:48,220 --> 01:07:49,255
- <i>Yeah.</i>
- 1346
- 01:07:49,380 --> 01:07:51,814
- Hey, you're the quiet guy
- in the back seat, Jake.
- 1347
- 01:07:51,900 --> 01:07:54,368
- Yeah. Yeah. Hi.
- 1348
- 01:07:54,460 --> 01:07:59,250
- Hi. It's the quote-unquote
- "auburn-haired girl in 307."
- 1349
- 01:07:59,900 --> 01:08:01,936
- That was just so there
- wouldn't be any confusion,
- 1350
- 01:08:02,060 --> 01:08:05,370
- but, uh, wow, I'm glad you called.
- That was quick.
- 1351
- 01:08:05,740 --> 01:08:07,890
- Yeah, no, I mean,
- it was the least I could do
- 1352
- 01:08:07,980 --> 01:08:10,699
- after you went to all that trouble.
- 1353
- 01:08:10,780 --> 01:08:13,340
- How did you know what room I was in?
- 1354
- 01:08:13,660 --> 01:08:16,697
- I'm an Investigative Journalism major.
- 1355
- 01:08:17,500 --> 01:08:19,536
- I have very special ways.
- 1356
- 01:08:19,620 --> 01:08:22,692
- So, uh, I guess you know my name then.
- 1357
- 01:08:22,780 --> 01:08:25,135
- Yes. As soon as you tell me.
- 1358
- 01:08:26,340 --> 01:08:29,616
- Huh. Well, Jake, it's so interesting,
- 'cause I feel like there...
- 1359
- 01:08:29,740 --> 01:08:33,653
- Investigative Journalism
- is not an official major here,
- 1360
- 01:08:33,740 --> 01:08:35,617
- but my name is Beverly.
- 1361
- 01:08:35,700 --> 01:08:36,815
- Hello, Beverly.
- 1362
- 01:08:36,900 --> 01:08:40,097
- Hey. So, what do you study?
- 1363
- 01:08:40,940 --> 01:08:42,620
- What, the old
- "What's your major" question?
- 1364
- 01:08:42,660 --> 01:08:44,616
- Is that really what you're asking me?
- 1365
- 01:08:44,700 --> 01:08:45,928
- I don't know.
- 1366
- 01:08:46,020 --> 01:08:47,214
- Hey, that's not really fair.
- 1367
- 01:08:47,300 --> 01:08:49,860
- I took special care.
- I didn't say that word, okay?
- 1368
- 01:08:50,500 --> 01:08:53,094
- I'm just... I'm curious. Maybe you study
- 1369
- 01:08:53,180 --> 01:08:55,455
- poetry, with that...
- 1370
- 01:08:55,540 --> 01:08:57,974
- ...charming Rod McKuen bit
- you quoted in your note.
- 1371
- 01:08:58,100 --> 01:09:00,056
- Ah, I'm pretty sure that'd be Whitman.
- 1372
- 01:09:00,180 --> 01:09:02,250
- I was just testing you. You pass.
- 1373
- 01:09:02,340 --> 01:09:04,217
- A. A-minus.
- 1374
- 01:09:04,300 --> 01:09:08,578
- So, what do you, uh,
- concentrate on here?
- 1375
- 01:09:08,660 --> 01:09:14,212
- I concentrate on
- theater and dance, performing arts.
- 1376
- 01:09:14,300 --> 01:09:15,528
- - Really?
- - Mmm-hmm.
- 1377
- 01:09:15,620 --> 01:09:16,848
- That's so cool, wow.
- 1378
- 01:09:17,460 --> 01:09:19,735
- What do you do? I mean,
- you didn't really answer me.
- 1379
- 01:09:19,820 --> 01:09:22,254
- You just made fun of me.
- 1380
- 01:09:22,340 --> 01:09:25,093
- Oh, I'm, uh, I'm on the baseball team.
- 1381
- 01:09:25,180 --> 01:09:26,374
- - Really?
- - Yeah.
- 1382
- 01:09:26,460 --> 01:09:27,813
- - No.
- - Yeah.
- 1383
- 01:09:28,260 --> 01:09:29,316
- You don't really seem like it.
- 1384
- 01:09:29,340 --> 01:09:30,375
- Seem like what?
- 1385
- 01:09:31,900 --> 01:09:34,209
- Aren't most athletes kind of...
- 1386
- 01:09:37,700 --> 01:09:39,895
- - Kind of dumb?
- - No, no, no.
- 1387
- 01:09:39,980 --> 01:09:41,493
- No, not dumb necessarily.
- 1388
- 01:09:42,180 --> 01:09:44,899
- Single-minded, and...
- 1389
- 01:09:47,180 --> 01:09:48,476
- - Okay, dumb.
- - You know, actually,
- 1390
- 01:09:48,500 --> 01:09:50,377
- there's probably
- the same ratio of intelligence
- 1391
- 01:09:50,460 --> 01:09:52,416
- on my baseball team
- as there is anywhere else.
- 1392
- 01:09:52,500 --> 01:09:53,728
- Which isn't very much.
- 1393
- 01:09:53,820 --> 01:09:55,094
- Unfortunately true.
- 1394
- 01:09:55,180 --> 01:09:57,296
- - Hey, Jake.
- - Yeah?
- 1395
- 01:09:57,380 --> 01:10:00,213
- I kinda hate talking on the phone
- for extended periods of time.
- 1396
- 01:10:00,340 --> 01:10:02,490
- It feels so high school.
- 1397
- 01:10:02,580 --> 01:10:04,775
- - Yeah. Yeah, I know.
- - Right? Yeah.
- 1398
- 01:10:04,860 --> 01:10:06,836
- Yeah, and now that
- I've determined I don't really think
- 1399
- 01:10:06,860 --> 01:10:09,328
- you're the Hillside
- Strangler anymore, um...
- 1400
- 01:10:10,860 --> 01:10:12,213
- I think.
- 1401
- 01:10:12,300 --> 01:10:15,258
- Do you, uh, maybe wanna continue
- this conversation in person?
- 1402
- 01:10:15,380 --> 01:10:16,972
- - I don't know.
- - Yeah.
- 1403
- 01:10:17,060 --> 01:10:18,937
- - Yeah? Okay.
- - Yeah.
- 1404
- 01:10:19,020 --> 01:10:21,329
- Well, I'm around
- for the next couple of hours. Oh...
- 1405
- 01:10:21,420 --> 01:10:25,129
- Out, actually, for the rest of the day
- and most of the night, though.
- 1406
- 01:10:25,220 --> 01:10:27,495
- Okay, so should I come over
- like right now?
- 1407
- 01:10:28,740 --> 01:10:29,934
- If you want.
- 1408
- 01:10:30,060 --> 01:10:31,175
- Cool, yeah, okay.
- 1409
- 01:10:31,260 --> 01:10:32,516
- I'll head over pretty soon then.
- 1410
- 01:10:32,540 --> 01:10:34,610
- Okay. Pretty soon. Then I'll see you then.
- 1411
- 01:10:34,700 --> 01:10:36,116
- - Okay, cool. Yeah, see you.
- - Pretty soon.
- 1412
- 01:10:36,140 --> 01:10:37,289
- Okay.
- 1413
- 01:10:38,220 --> 01:10:39,619
- Fuck.
- 1414
- 01:10:41,900 --> 01:10:43,516
- So, what's your strategy?
- What's the game plan?
- 1415
- 01:10:43,540 --> 01:10:45,576
- Don't tell me you're flying blind
- into this thing.
- 1416
- 01:10:45,700 --> 01:10:48,453
- Dude, I don't know. I mean, she's cool.
- 1417
- 01:10:48,580 --> 01:10:50,013
- She's smart, you know?
- 1418
- 01:10:50,100 --> 01:10:52,180
- Not one of these airheads
- we got running around here.
- 1419
- 01:10:52,580 --> 01:10:55,174
- Okay. Well, then just
- don't come across like a dumb jock.
- 1420
- 01:10:55,580 --> 01:10:56,899
- All right, her antennas are out.
- 1421
- 01:10:57,020 --> 01:11:00,092
- She's gonna be
- looking for signs of dip-shitification.
- 1422
- 01:11:00,180 --> 01:11:01,620
- Yeah. You trying to make me nervous?
- 1423
- 01:11:02,180 --> 01:11:04,057
- No, like they say, pressure's a choice.
- 1424
- 01:11:05,660 --> 01:11:07,676
- Well, you gotta approach it like
- getting out on the mound,
- 1425
- 01:11:07,700 --> 01:11:09,497
- taking an at bat. Yeah.
- 1426
- 01:11:09,580 --> 01:11:11,571
- Put everything else out of your mind.
- 1427
- 01:11:11,700 --> 01:11:12,894
- Hey, Coma.
- 1428
- 01:11:13,060 --> 01:11:14,436
- Just let natural ability take over.
- 1429
- 01:11:14,460 --> 01:11:15,460
- Mmm-hmm.
- 1430
- 01:11:15,580 --> 01:11:17,730
- Assuming, you know,
- you have natural ability.
- 1431
- 01:11:17,860 --> 01:11:20,852
- Ah. A, fuck you. B, bye.
- 1432
- 01:11:22,540 --> 01:11:25,976
- Ah. C, she say
- if her roommate's gonna be there?
- 1433
- 01:11:26,060 --> 01:11:28,051
- D, I don't know. Why?
- 1434
- 01:11:28,140 --> 01:11:30,017
- E, 'cause I think I'm gonna, you know,
- 1435
- 01:11:30,100 --> 01:11:32,260
- grant her the old Finnegasm.
- Here, I'm coming with you.
- 1436
- 01:11:32,300 --> 01:11:33,858
- - No, F that and you.
- - No, Jake, Jake!
- 1437
- 01:11:33,940 --> 01:11:35,089
- Come on, Jake!
- 1438
- 01:11:37,100 --> 01:11:40,217
- Just trying to help you! Ungrateful kid.
- 1439
- 01:11:40,340 --> 01:11:41,819
- Coma, wake up!
- 1440
- 01:11:55,900 --> 01:11:57,572
- - Hey.
- - Hi, Jake.
- 1441
- 01:12:01,460 --> 01:12:03,257
- - Wanna come in? Okay.
- - Sure. Yeah.
- 1442
- 01:12:05,140 --> 01:12:06,596
- Rock 'n' roll isn't about being
- 1443
- 01:12:06,620 --> 01:12:08,929
- glamorous or hip, it's a force.
- 1444
- 01:12:09,020 --> 01:12:15,255
- It's a revolutionary,
- political, sexual and poetic force.
- 1445
- 01:12:15,900 --> 01:12:17,492
- Yeah.
- 1446
- 01:12:17,580 --> 01:12:19,116
- You're not one
- of those guys that thinks that
- 1447
- 01:12:19,140 --> 01:12:21,210
- Jim Morrison is still alive, are you?
- 1448
- 01:12:21,340 --> 01:12:22,898
- - Uh, no.
- - Good.
- 1449
- 01:12:22,980 --> 01:12:24,049
- Why?
- 1450
- 01:12:24,140 --> 01:12:26,051
- I found it to be a good litmus test.
- 1451
- 01:12:26,140 --> 01:12:27,812
- Any other litmus tests?
- 1452
- 01:12:27,900 --> 01:12:29,970
- Not at the moment.
- 1453
- 01:12:30,340 --> 01:12:32,729
- So, you were really good
- at baseball in high school?
- 1454
- 01:12:33,380 --> 01:12:34,733
- Yeah. I mean, every guy here
- 1455
- 01:12:34,820 --> 01:12:36,890
- was the baddest guy
- on his high school team.
- 1456
- 01:12:37,020 --> 01:12:38,316
- You know, that's a big
- adjustment to make.
- 1457
- 01:12:38,340 --> 01:12:39,340
- You want a Dr. Pepper?
- 1458
- 01:12:39,420 --> 01:12:41,300
- No, no, I'm all right, thanks.
- 1459
- 01:12:41,380 --> 01:12:43,476
- You know, not only
- are you not the best guy on the team,
- 1460
- 01:12:43,500 --> 01:12:45,036
- you know, you're barely even
- good enough to be here.
- 1461
- 01:12:45,060 --> 01:12:46,129
- Yeah.
- 1462
- 01:12:46,220 --> 01:12:47,653
- You know?
- 1463
- 01:12:47,780 --> 01:12:49,498
- It's a little intimidating.
- 1464
- 01:12:50,020 --> 01:12:53,171
- What about you?
- You play any sports in high school?
- 1465
- 01:12:53,260 --> 01:12:54,820
- No. We didn't even have any sports, no.
- 1466
- 01:12:54,860 --> 01:12:55,929
- - No?
- - No.
- 1467
- 01:12:56,020 --> 01:12:58,739
- But it's the same thing that you're saying
- with the performing arts.
- 1468
- 01:12:58,860 --> 01:13:00,596
- Everybody here was the best
- in their high school,
- 1469
- 01:13:00,620 --> 01:13:02,133
- got the lead in every play,
- 1470
- 01:13:02,220 --> 01:13:05,371
- and now we're just gonna be
- hoping to get cast in anything.
- 1471
- 01:13:05,460 --> 01:13:06,939
- And there's a lot of talent around.
- 1472
- 01:13:07,020 --> 01:13:09,215
- Yeah. Yeah.
- Where did you go to high school?
- 1473
- 01:13:09,300 --> 01:13:11,530
- HSPVA.
- 1474
- 01:13:11,620 --> 01:13:14,180
- Which, although it sounds
- like a venereal disease...
- 1475
- 01:13:14,260 --> 01:13:15,295
- Yeah.
- 1476
- 01:13:15,380 --> 01:13:18,372
- It's actually High School for
- Performing and Visual Arts.
- 1477
- 01:13:18,460 --> 01:13:20,451
- - Like the one in Fame?
- - Kind of.
- 1478
- 01:13:20,540 --> 01:13:23,771
- We weren't spontaneously
- performing in the streets
- 1479
- 01:13:23,900 --> 01:13:25,094
- in large groups or anything,
- 1480
- 01:13:25,180 --> 01:13:28,217
- but we were so ridiculous.
- 1481
- 01:13:28,300 --> 01:13:31,975
- Like, the theater kids
- would be hysterically crying
- 1482
- 01:13:32,060 --> 01:13:33,288
- in the bathroom stalls,
- 1483
- 01:13:33,380 --> 01:13:36,577
- visual artists like
- anything they could find.
- 1484
- 01:13:36,660 --> 01:13:37,979
- Dancers...
- 1485
- 01:13:38,060 --> 01:13:40,051
- And musical theater kids...
- 1486
- 01:13:40,180 --> 01:13:41,693
- La-la-la!
- 1487
- 01:13:42,660 --> 01:13:44,890
- It was so fun, I loved it!
- 1488
- 01:13:44,980 --> 01:13:46,777
- Yeah, I loved it.
- 1489
- 01:13:46,900 --> 01:13:50,973
- And it was a great place
- to be able to cultivate the thing
- 1490
- 01:13:51,060 --> 01:13:53,051
- that you loved most in life, you know?
- 1491
- 01:13:53,180 --> 01:13:54,374
- So you're really serious.
- 1492
- 01:13:54,460 --> 01:13:56,576
- Yeah, I'm moving to New York
- the second I graduate.
- 1493
- 01:13:56,660 --> 01:13:58,890
- - Really?
- - Yeah. God, I can't wait.
- 1494
- 01:13:59,780 --> 01:14:01,036
- So, what's this thing you're doing later?
- 1495
- 01:14:01,060 --> 01:14:02,060
- Oh...
- 1496
- 01:14:02,500 --> 01:14:04,092
- Helping decorate for a party at Oz.
- 1497
- 01:14:04,180 --> 01:14:05,408
- Mmm. What's Oz?
- 1498
- 01:14:05,500 --> 01:14:07,297
- This big house just outside of town,
- 1499
- 01:14:07,380 --> 01:14:09,655
- where a lot of theater majors live.
- 1500
- 01:14:09,780 --> 01:14:13,011
- And apparently the party's
- a first weekend tradition.
- 1501
- 01:14:13,100 --> 01:14:15,409
- They, like,
- recruited us freshmen to help set up.
- 1502
- 01:14:15,500 --> 01:14:17,172
- - Probably do the shit work.
- - Nice.
- 1503
- 01:14:17,260 --> 01:14:19,410
- Um, you could
- probably come, if you want.
- 1504
- 01:14:19,540 --> 01:14:21,116
- - Cool. Yeah, cool.
- - Yeah, might be fun.
- 1505
- 01:14:21,140 --> 01:14:23,529
- I mean, we have our first practice
- this afternoon, but yeah.
- 1506
- 01:14:23,620 --> 01:14:24,769
- Yeah, it sounds great.
- 1507
- 01:14:24,860 --> 01:14:26,418
- Cool.
- 1508
- 01:14:26,500 --> 01:14:28,695
- Is it baseball season now?
- 1509
- 01:14:28,780 --> 01:14:29,780
- Mmm-mmm.
- 1510
- 01:14:29,860 --> 01:14:31,930
- Okay. Well, when do you stop,
- like, rehearsals
- 1511
- 01:14:32,020 --> 01:14:34,011
- and start doing the actual game?
- 1512
- 01:14:34,100 --> 01:14:36,853
- Well, the official season
- doesn't start till the spring,
- 1513
- 01:14:36,940 --> 01:14:38,180
- but we got a big fall schedule.
- 1514
- 01:14:38,220 --> 01:14:39,676
- - Uh-huh.
- - It's just a players-only practice
- 1515
- 01:14:39,700 --> 01:14:41,850
- to kick things off.
- 1516
- 01:14:41,980 --> 01:14:44,653
- Oh, you know, it's kind of
- a dress-up party tonight.
- 1517
- 01:14:44,780 --> 01:14:46,691
- You could come all sweaty
- and in your uniform.
- 1518
- 01:14:46,780 --> 01:14:48,816
- People might think
- you're method, I don't know.
- 1519
- 01:14:48,900 --> 01:14:50,116
- Might be a hit with the ladies.
- 1520
- 01:14:50,140 --> 01:14:51,539
- Now I definitely gotta be there.
- 1521
- 01:14:55,660 --> 01:14:57,139
- You're seriously trying?
- 1522
- 01:14:57,220 --> 01:14:59,176
- No, not right now, but I can't do it.
- 1523
- 01:14:59,260 --> 01:15:00,375
- It's impossible. I...
- 1524
- 01:15:00,460 --> 01:15:01,596
- I've never been able to do it.
- 1525
- 01:15:01,620 --> 01:15:02,916
- I know a lot about the human body,
- 1526
- 01:15:02,940 --> 01:15:04,156
- and I've never seen anything like that.
- 1527
- 01:15:04,180 --> 01:15:06,136
- Watch this.
- You ready? Try to move.
- 1528
- 01:15:08,700 --> 01:15:11,772
- - We all tried it.
- - No. It's impossible.
- 1529
- 01:15:11,860 --> 01:15:13,578
- Oh. What's up, dude? You gotta see this.
- 1530
- 01:15:13,660 --> 01:15:14,660
- What is it?
- 1531
- 01:15:15,300 --> 01:15:16,676
- It's this physiological phenomenon.
- 1532
- 01:15:16,700 --> 01:15:18,736
- You close your eyes
- and somebody places a thumb
- 1533
- 01:15:18,820 --> 01:15:20,538
- below the chest bone in the solar plexus,
- 1534
- 01:15:20,620 --> 01:15:22,736
- semi-paralyzes the whole upper torso.
- 1535
- 01:15:22,820 --> 01:15:24,156
- - He can't sit up.
- - That's ridiculous.
- 1536
- 01:15:24,180 --> 01:15:26,250
- - From here to here.
- - Go on, show me.
- 1537
- 01:15:26,340 --> 01:15:27,396
- Dude, the whole team's tried it.
- 1538
- 01:15:27,420 --> 01:15:28,694
- - Try it again, Nesbit.
- - Okay.
- 1539
- 01:15:30,220 --> 01:15:31,756
- Nope. I'm telling you,
- it's absolutely impossible.
- 1540
- 01:15:31,780 --> 01:15:33,850
- It's a thumb
- on your fucking chest, Nesbit.
- 1541
- 01:15:33,940 --> 01:15:35,220
- - You can't, no.
- - Get up.
- 1542
- 01:15:35,300 --> 01:15:36,335
- I wanna give it a shot.
- 1543
- 01:15:36,420 --> 01:15:37,853
- I'm just saying, you can't do it.
- 1544
- 01:15:37,940 --> 01:15:39,419
- I know, he thinks he can. All right.
- 1545
- 01:15:39,500 --> 01:15:40,636
- Make sure and close your eyes,
- 1546
- 01:15:40,660 --> 01:15:41,716
- 'cause that shuts down the spinal.
- 1547
- 01:15:41,740 --> 01:15:43,219
- Okay, so shut up.
- 1548
- 01:15:43,300 --> 01:15:44,528
- - Shut your eyes...
- - Mmm-mmm.
- 1549
- 01:15:44,620 --> 01:15:47,088
- ...and on the count of three,
- 1550
- 01:15:47,220 --> 01:15:50,178
- finger in the solar plexus,
- count of three, try to sit up.
- 1551
- 01:15:50,260 --> 01:15:53,013
- One, two, three.
- 1552
- 01:15:56,900 --> 01:15:58,538
- Good job, baby! Good job!
- 1553
- 01:16:01,220 --> 01:16:03,814
- That's what I'm talking about, man!
- 1554
- 01:16:03,900 --> 01:16:05,036
- - Beautifully played.
- - Oh!
- 1555
- 01:16:05,060 --> 01:16:06,459
- The hiney was flawless.
- 1556
- 01:16:07,780 --> 01:16:09,460
- It all comes down to how well you sell it,
- 1557
- 01:16:09,540 --> 01:16:10,676
- 'cause when he was coming in,
- 1558
- 01:16:10,700 --> 01:16:12,930
- I was saying "impossible,"
- and then when you put the...
- 1559
- 01:16:13,020 --> 01:16:14,516
- - And I was like...
- - "What is he doing?"
- 1560
- 01:16:14,540 --> 01:16:16,735
- - The leg stuff.
- - How does that happen?
- 1561
- 01:16:16,820 --> 01:16:18,700
- Hey, at least it was
- before practice, all right?
- 1562
- 01:16:18,740 --> 01:16:19,876
- 'Cause had it been after practice,
- 1563
- 01:16:19,900 --> 01:16:21,796
- who knows what fucking sweaty
- and encrusted items
- 1564
- 01:16:21,820 --> 01:16:23,396
- I might've encountered
- up your ass crack.
- 1565
- 01:16:23,420 --> 01:16:25,316
- You're a freshman, too.
- Not supposed to be hazing me.
- 1566
- 01:16:25,340 --> 01:16:26,932
- Hey, Jake, man, I'm sorry, all right?
- 1567
- 01:16:27,020 --> 01:16:28,135
- They made me do it.
- 1568
- 01:16:28,220 --> 01:16:29,892
- They just got me five minutes ago.
- 1569
- 01:16:29,980 --> 01:16:31,095
- I'm sorry.
- 1570
- 01:16:31,180 --> 01:16:32,533
- Hey, and, you,
- 1571
- 01:16:32,620 --> 01:16:35,692
- with all your physiological
- phenomena bullshit.
- 1572
- 01:16:35,780 --> 01:16:38,340
- Okay, you know, we all take turns
- being chumps around here.
- 1573
- 01:16:38,420 --> 01:16:40,172
- Now, you accept your chumpification,
- 1574
- 01:16:40,260 --> 01:16:42,330
- you wear it well, and you pass it on.
- 1575
- 01:16:42,420 --> 01:16:43,648
- It's all you can do.
- 1576
- 01:16:43,740 --> 01:16:46,208
- Well, well, well,
- if it ain't Beuter Perkins! Hey!
- 1577
- 01:16:46,300 --> 01:16:47,779
- Speaking of.
- 1578
- 01:16:52,740 --> 01:16:54,332
- Hey, Beuter!
- 1579
- 01:16:54,420 --> 01:16:56,012
- Beuter Perkins!
- 1580
- 01:16:56,100 --> 01:16:59,490
- All right now, boys,
- it's Billy Autrey, okay?
- 1581
- 01:16:59,580 --> 01:17:01,935
- Did you give her
- two solid inches, Beuter?
- 1582
- 01:17:02,020 --> 01:17:05,979
- Hey, so, Pops, you pick out a name yet?
- 1583
- 01:17:06,100 --> 01:17:08,660
- - No, sir. She got the rag.
- - Aww!
- 1584
- 01:17:08,740 --> 01:17:11,857
- Really? No fucking way!
- 1585
- 01:17:11,940 --> 01:17:13,516
- Hey, what's wrong with Jacob?
- 1586
- 01:17:13,540 --> 01:17:14,859
- - Oh, you gotta see this.
- - Yeah.
- 1587
- 01:17:14,940 --> 01:17:16,896
- It's this physiological phenomenon.
- 1588
- 01:17:16,980 --> 01:17:18,396
- You close your eyes,
- and somebody places
- 1589
- 01:17:18,420 --> 01:17:20,556
- their finger below the chest bone,
- in the solar plexus,
- 1590
- 01:17:20,580 --> 01:17:22,377
- it semi-paralyzes the whole torso.
- 1591
- 01:17:22,460 --> 01:17:23,900
- Impossible to move.
- 1592
- 01:17:23,980 --> 01:17:25,940
- - How about that?
- - Hey, Beut, you gotta try this.
- 1593
- 01:17:26,060 --> 01:17:27,539
- One of them old phenomegans, huh?
- 1594
- 01:17:27,620 --> 01:17:29,372
- I can't. Fucking I can't.
- 1595
- 01:17:29,460 --> 01:17:32,452
- I'll let you boys
- deal with that hocus-pocus junk.
- 1596
- 01:17:32,660 --> 01:17:34,076
- Isn't that how you always fuck?
- 1597
- 01:17:35,340 --> 01:17:37,456
- Rally back.
- 1598
- 01:17:37,540 --> 01:17:39,895
- So, how'd it go
- with the Beverly chick?
- 1599
- 01:17:39,980 --> 01:17:41,777
- Yeah, man, you get it in?
- 1600
- 01:17:42,220 --> 01:17:44,131
- She's cool, you know?
- 1601
- 01:17:44,220 --> 01:17:45,892
- Went about as well as it could've.
- 1602
- 01:17:46,300 --> 01:17:48,814
- Probably meeting up with her
- at a party later tonight.
- 1603
- 01:17:48,900 --> 01:17:51,573
- What? What party?
- 1604
- 01:17:52,220 --> 01:17:55,132
- It's just something
- for a bunch of performing arts majors.
- 1605
- 01:17:55,220 --> 01:17:56,556
- You know, at someone's
- house out of town.
- 1606
- 01:17:56,580 --> 01:17:57,580
- Oh.
- 1607
- 01:17:57,660 --> 01:17:58,775
- Everybody up!
- 1608
- 01:18:01,860 --> 01:18:03,259
- Right arm cross.
- 1609
- 01:18:05,020 --> 01:18:07,215
- All right, fellas,
- who's gonna be the first poor fuck
- 1610
- 01:18:07,300 --> 01:18:10,497
- to take batting practice off Jay Niles
- 1611
- 01:18:10,580 --> 01:18:13,572
- and his 95-mile-an-hour fastball?
- 1612
- 01:18:13,660 --> 01:18:15,457
- The fuck is wrong with that guy?
- 1613
- 01:18:15,540 --> 01:18:16,893
- I'm not doing it.
- 1614
- 01:18:16,980 --> 01:18:18,811
- - He doesn't throw 95.
- - No.
- 1615
- 01:18:18,900 --> 01:18:19,900
- Get out of my way.
- 1616
- 01:18:19,980 --> 01:18:22,340
- Hey, man, I'm doing it, huh?
- 1617
- 01:18:22,460 --> 01:18:25,099
- What? Let's go!
- Come on! What'd you say?
- 1618
- 01:18:25,180 --> 01:18:26,818
- Guy's a fucking loon.
- 1619
- 01:18:49,340 --> 01:18:50,340
- Whoo!
- 1620
- 01:19:28,820 --> 01:19:30,890
- Willoughby! Come over here.
- 1621
- 01:19:33,460 --> 01:19:34,893
- Get all your stuff.
- 1622
- 01:19:44,780 --> 01:19:46,293
- What the hell?
- 1623
- 01:19:47,260 --> 01:19:48,534
- What's going on?
- 1624
- 01:19:48,660 --> 01:19:49,888
- Well, boys,
- 1625
- 01:19:50,220 --> 01:19:52,973
- here for a good time,
- not a long time, right?
- 1626
- 01:19:54,420 --> 01:19:56,615
- - What does that mean?
- - I don't know.
- 1627
- 01:19:56,860 --> 01:19:59,010
- Get your ass ready. Let's go.
- 1628
- 01:19:59,700 --> 01:20:01,236
- - Oh, Jesus Christ, not this psychopath.
- - Oh, shit.
- 1629
- 01:20:01,260 --> 01:20:03,171
- Here you go, Plum.
- 1630
- 01:20:03,300 --> 01:20:04,892
- This'll be interesting.
- 1631
- 01:20:04,980 --> 01:20:07,335
- - What is that?
- - What is he doing?
- 1632
- 01:20:11,340 --> 01:20:13,316
- Did he just throw the ball
- in the fucking parking lot?
- 1633
- 01:20:13,340 --> 01:20:14,916
- Yeah. There it goes.
- 1634
- 01:20:14,940 --> 01:20:16,612
- - What the fuck?
- - Let's go!
- 1635
- 01:20:22,860 --> 01:20:25,135
- - I'm ready. Get in the box.
- - Jeez, let's not.
- 1636
- 01:20:25,220 --> 01:20:26,220
- Go get him, kid.
- 1637
- 01:20:26,300 --> 01:20:28,734
- Guy's gonna have a fucking aneurysm
- on the mound.
- 1638
- 01:20:29,820 --> 01:20:31,890
- Fucking looney tune.
- 1639
- 01:20:31,980 --> 01:20:33,698
- Yeah.
- 1640
- 01:20:36,020 --> 01:20:37,339
- Oh, yeah!
- 1641
- 01:20:37,460 --> 01:20:39,291
- Jesus fucking Christ, damn it.
- 1642
- 01:20:39,420 --> 01:20:41,217
- It's batting practice.
- 1643
- 01:20:41,540 --> 01:20:44,498
- Hit it to me!
- The ball's coming to me!
- 1644
- 01:20:46,060 --> 01:20:47,698
- - Oh, yeah.
- - Fuck this. I'm done.
- 1645
- 01:20:47,820 --> 01:20:48,969
- Fuck this guy.
- 1646
- 01:20:49,060 --> 01:20:52,496
- - Fucking nutjob. Ridiculous.
- - You don't want any more?
- 1647
- 01:20:52,580 --> 01:20:53,580
- All right.
- 1648
- 01:20:53,660 --> 01:20:55,332
- Fucking batting practices.
- 1649
- 01:21:04,100 --> 01:21:06,091
- Don't fuck it up, man. Let's go.
- 1650
- 01:21:08,180 --> 01:21:09,180
- Yeah.
- 1651
- 01:21:14,260 --> 01:21:15,534
- That's strike one.
- 1652
- 01:21:15,620 --> 01:21:17,372
- - Hey, Detroit!
- - Yeah?
- 1653
- 01:21:17,500 --> 01:21:19,156
- Those fucking goggles,
- you can't use those to read?
- 1654
- 01:21:19,180 --> 01:21:20,932
- The schedule says "batting practice."
- 1655
- 01:21:21,020 --> 01:21:22,658
- Scrimmage is later. What the fuck, man.
- 1656
- 01:21:22,740 --> 01:21:24,220
- Yeah. All right, well, I'm not afraid
- 1657
- 01:21:24,380 --> 01:21:26,140
- to get this over with
- right here, right now.
- 1658
- 01:21:27,420 --> 01:21:28,569
- Get what over?
- 1659
- 01:21:28,660 --> 01:21:30,810
- I'm a fucking pro prospect, too,
- and you know it.
- 1660
- 01:21:30,900 --> 01:21:31,935
- Oh.
- 1661
- 01:21:32,020 --> 01:21:33,578
- I'm not afraid to challenge you, man.
- 1662
- 01:21:33,660 --> 01:21:35,571
- And everybody else on this team.
- 1663
- 01:21:35,700 --> 01:21:39,739
- And I'm not afraid to stick it in
- and break it off from day one!
- 1664
- 01:21:39,980 --> 01:21:41,049
- All right?
- 1665
- 01:21:41,380 --> 01:21:42,972
- Okay, meat,
- 1666
- 01:21:43,060 --> 01:21:44,716
- you wanna try to make
- that starting rotation
- 1667
- 01:21:44,740 --> 01:21:47,174
- on your first BP session, huh?
- 1668
- 01:21:48,340 --> 01:21:49,455
- Be my guest.
- 1669
- 01:21:49,540 --> 01:21:51,371
- Practice like you play, man.
- 1670
- 01:21:53,180 --> 01:21:55,171
- Shut his fucking mouth.
- 1671
- 01:22:03,420 --> 01:22:05,172
- Whoo-hoo!
- 1672
- 01:22:07,780 --> 01:22:08,895
- Yeah.
- 1673
- 01:22:09,420 --> 01:22:11,331
- Good hit, McReynolds. Wow.
- 1674
- 01:22:11,420 --> 01:22:14,059
- I think you've had enough, raw dog.
- 1675
- 01:22:14,180 --> 01:22:15,374
- That the best shit you got?
- 1676
- 01:22:16,140 --> 01:22:18,574
- That ain't close to touching 90, son.
- Who you fooling?
- 1677
- 01:22:18,660 --> 01:22:20,810
- Go get that ball,
- I'll fucking sign it for you.
- 1678
- 01:22:20,900 --> 01:22:24,336
- Oh, yeah. Ha-ha-ha.
- Real funny, man. Real funny.
- 1679
- 01:22:24,420 --> 01:22:26,490
- You know, it's first day
- of practice, all right?
- 1680
- 01:22:27,060 --> 01:22:28,891
- - Just warming up.
- - Mmm-hmm.
- 1681
- 01:22:28,980 --> 01:22:30,756
- You know,
- I will go get the fucking ball.
- 1682
- 01:22:30,780 --> 01:22:31,780
- You know what I'll do?
- 1683
- 01:22:31,860 --> 01:22:33,691
- I'll shove it up your ass and I'll sign it!
- 1684
- 01:22:33,780 --> 01:22:34,780
- How's that sound?
- 1685
- 01:22:34,820 --> 01:22:36,236
- Yeah, hey, you know what,
- do what you do best, Niles,
- 1686
- 01:22:36,260 --> 01:22:37,356
- keep running that fucking mouth,
- 1687
- 01:22:37,380 --> 01:22:39,052
- 'cause it makes you feel better, right?
- 1688
- 01:22:39,140 --> 01:22:40,556
- You get your teammates
- in a fight and kicked out
- 1689
- 01:22:40,580 --> 01:22:42,276
- of a bar, 'cause you wanna
- look fucking tough?
- 1690
- 01:22:42,300 --> 01:22:44,609
- You're fucking selfish, man!
- It's about the team here!
- 1691
- 01:22:44,700 --> 01:22:47,055
- It's not about you! Go fuck yourself.
- 1692
- 01:22:47,140 --> 01:22:50,291
- You know what, man?
- I only know 150%, all right?
- 1693
- 01:22:50,420 --> 01:22:52,251
- You want me on the mound!
- 1694
- 01:22:52,340 --> 01:22:54,570
- You know I'm a fucking
- ballplayer, all right?
- 1695
- 01:22:54,660 --> 01:22:55,775
- You don't get it!
- 1696
- 01:22:56,580 --> 01:22:57,580
- Fuck!
- 1697
- 01:22:58,220 --> 01:23:01,212
- Too fucking philosophical for this shit.
- 1698
- 01:23:02,220 --> 01:23:03,778
- Fucking balls.
- 1699
- 01:23:04,780 --> 01:23:06,293
- Fuck that shit.
- 1700
- 01:23:09,500 --> 01:23:10,596
- - Yeah.
- - Whoo!
- 1701
- 01:23:10,620 --> 01:23:12,020
- Way to go! Run, run, run!
- 1702
- 01:23:23,860 --> 01:23:24,929
- Hey, where's my helmet at?
- 1703
- 01:23:25,100 --> 01:23:27,060
- It's the one with
- the three scratches on the bill.
- 1704
- 01:23:27,300 --> 01:23:28,756
- It's my good luck helmet.
- You know what I'm talking about, Finn.
- 1705
- 01:23:28,780 --> 01:23:30,740
- It's the one with
- the three scratches on the bill.
- 1706
- 01:23:30,820 --> 01:23:31,996
- There's five helmets right there.
- 1707
- 01:23:32,020 --> 01:23:33,900
- Yeah, grab a helmet
- and get in the box. Come on.
- 1708
- 01:23:33,940 --> 01:23:35,134
- Hey, batter up!
- 1709
- 01:23:35,260 --> 01:23:37,899
- Might as well put
- a strikeout down in the books, fellas.
- 1710
- 01:23:37,980 --> 01:23:41,529
- Why is the.230 hitter always
- the most superstitious?
- 1711
- 01:23:41,620 --> 01:23:43,860
- News flash, it's not working.
- Get some new superstitions.
- 1712
- 01:23:44,660 --> 01:23:46,093
- You got superstitions.
- 1713
- 01:23:46,180 --> 01:23:48,410
- No, I have routines.
- 1714
- 01:23:48,500 --> 01:23:49,569
- Big difference.
- 1715
- 01:23:49,980 --> 01:23:51,971
- - No.
- - Superstitions are
- 1716
- 01:23:52,060 --> 01:23:53,891
- a holdover from primitive humans
- 1717
- 01:23:54,020 --> 01:23:56,409
- finding simple reasons
- for things they don't understand.
- 1718
- 01:23:56,500 --> 01:23:58,456
- - Oh, yeah.
- - Verifiably a complete waste
- 1719
- 01:23:58,540 --> 01:24:00,656
- of mental capacity in this day and age.
- 1720
- 01:24:00,740 --> 01:24:02,571
- I'm just saying, in a deterministic event,
- 1721
- 01:24:02,660 --> 01:24:03,979
- such as hitting a baseball,
- 1722
- 01:24:04,060 --> 01:24:07,609
- there actually is a strict
- relation between cause and effect.
- 1723
- 01:24:07,700 --> 01:24:10,373
- Now, superstition, it's bringing a...
- 1724
- 01:24:10,460 --> 01:24:12,371
- A probabilistic framework
- and projecting meaning
- 1725
- 01:24:12,500 --> 01:24:14,092
- onto a completely random sequence.
- 1726
- 01:24:14,180 --> 01:24:15,295
- Hmm.
- 1727
- 01:24:17,020 --> 01:24:19,215
- Yeah!
- 1728
- 01:24:19,300 --> 01:24:20,938
- See, we can deduce from that,
- 1729
- 01:24:21,020 --> 01:24:23,215
- that the lucky helmet
- was probably not the factor
- 1730
- 01:24:23,300 --> 01:24:25,052
- in Coma's ability to get a hit
- 1731
- 01:24:25,140 --> 01:24:27,370
- because he was just able
- to do so without it.
- 1732
- 01:24:27,460 --> 01:24:29,769
- The question now will be
- if this new, random helmet
- 1733
- 01:24:29,900 --> 01:24:31,180
- now becomes Coma's lucky helmet.
- 1734
- 01:24:31,540 --> 01:24:32,973
- - Exactly.
- - Whoo! Whoo!
- 1735
- 01:24:33,060 --> 01:24:34,060
- What's happening, boys?
- 1736
- 01:24:34,100 --> 01:24:35,328
- Attaboy, Dale.
- 1737
- 01:24:37,220 --> 01:24:39,575
- Yes! Yes! Yes!
- 1738
- 01:24:39,740 --> 01:24:42,459
- Hey, Coma, Pete Ward
- just saw your first hit, man.
- 1739
- 01:24:42,580 --> 01:24:45,253
- - Pete Ward's here? Yeah, baby.
- - Oh, yeah.
- 1740
- 01:24:45,380 --> 01:24:46,733
- Who's Pete Ward?
- 1741
- 01:24:46,860 --> 01:24:48,657
- Legendary super scout for the Reds.
- 1742
- 01:24:48,740 --> 01:24:49,809
- Master of disguise.
- 1743
- 01:24:49,900 --> 01:24:51,876
- Yeah, yeah, he never wants
- people to know he's watching,
- 1744
- 01:24:51,900 --> 01:24:53,970
- so he'll disguise himself somehow.
- 1745
- 01:24:54,060 --> 01:24:55,209
- Anybody spotted him?
- 1746
- 01:24:55,340 --> 01:24:56,568
- Ah, give me a second.
- 1747
- 01:24:56,660 --> 01:24:58,491
- Anybody? Come on. Finn?
- 1748
- 01:24:58,580 --> 01:25:00,236
- - Finn, don't disappoint me.
- - Give me a second.
- 1749
- 01:25:00,260 --> 01:25:02,899
- Come on, it's right
- in front of you, brother.
- 1750
- 01:25:04,420 --> 01:25:05,900
- Out there past the right field fence,
- 1751
- 01:25:06,540 --> 01:25:09,100
- painting the trim on the house.
- 1752
- 01:25:09,180 --> 01:25:10,579
- - Whoo! Good spot, bro!
- - Wow.
- 1753
- 01:25:10,660 --> 01:25:13,493
- Thank you. Thank you.
- Give me my adoration.
- 1754
- 01:25:13,580 --> 01:25:14,820
- How's that for incentive?
- 1755
- 01:25:14,900 --> 01:25:17,289
- First scrimmage game,
- not even an official practice,
- 1756
- 01:25:17,380 --> 01:25:20,053
- we already got
- the scouts here checking us out.
- 1757
- 01:25:20,940 --> 01:25:22,259
- Welcome to the big time, boys.
- 1758
- 01:25:22,780 --> 01:25:24,099
- Fucking A, man.
- 1759
- 01:25:24,180 --> 01:25:26,216
- That's what I'm talking about.
- 1760
- 01:25:33,780 --> 01:25:35,532
- All right, boys, let's go!
- 1761
- 01:25:35,620 --> 01:25:37,099
- - Hey, Bradford.
- - Yeah.
- 1762
- 01:25:37,260 --> 01:25:38,693
- - You warm?
- - Yeah.
- 1763
- 01:25:38,780 --> 01:25:40,657
- You're on the hill. Plum, you're catching.
- 1764
- 01:25:41,580 --> 01:25:43,935
- - All right, go get 'em, Jake.
- - Let's go, fellas.
- 1765
- 01:25:44,620 --> 01:25:47,134
- You got it. Attaboy.
- 1766
- 01:26:03,300 --> 01:26:04,972
- McReynolds.
- 1767
- 01:26:08,260 --> 01:26:09,613
- Uh...
- 1768
- 01:26:13,660 --> 01:26:15,139
- Good hit.
- 1769
- 01:26:16,980 --> 01:26:18,459
- We're cool.
- 1770
- 01:26:33,820 --> 01:26:35,936
- - Strike!
- - Come on, Plum.
- 1771
- 01:26:36,020 --> 01:26:37,089
- Man, that's strike three.
- 1772
- 01:26:37,180 --> 01:26:38,540
- Come on, Plum, we're friends, man.
- 1773
- 01:26:38,580 --> 01:26:39,636
- That's strike three. Dude, just sit down.
- 1774
- 01:26:39,660 --> 01:26:40,716
- Friends don't strike out friends,
- 1775
- 01:26:40,740 --> 01:26:41,836
- especially when we're freshman friends.
- 1776
- 01:26:41,860 --> 01:26:43,054
- Fucking swing the bat, man.
- 1777
- 01:26:43,140 --> 01:26:45,779
- You're making us look bad.
- Just sit down.
- 1778
- 01:26:48,700 --> 01:26:51,168
- You wanna rub
- your strikeout on me, man? Jesus.
- 1779
- 01:26:52,180 --> 01:26:53,898
- What's up, Mac?
- 1780
- 01:26:54,420 --> 01:26:56,536
- Don't talk to me when I'm hitting.
- 1781
- 01:26:56,940 --> 01:26:58,339
- Yes, sir.
- 1782
- 01:26:59,460 --> 01:27:01,815
- All right, freshman ping-pong champ.
- 1783
- 01:27:03,020 --> 01:27:04,214
- Let's see what you got, kid.
- 1784
- 01:27:05,500 --> 01:27:07,218
- Here we go, Jake.
- 1785
- 01:27:14,700 --> 01:27:16,975
- Strike. 0-1?
- 1786
- 01:27:17,060 --> 01:27:18,129
- Make it 0-2.
- 1787
- 01:27:18,220 --> 01:27:19,619
- 0-2?
- 1788
- 01:27:19,700 --> 01:27:21,531
- - Yeah.
- - 0-2!
- 1789
- 01:27:33,180 --> 01:27:36,217
- Two, two, two, two! Ball's in the gap!
- 1790
- 01:27:37,500 --> 01:27:38,556
- Get two, McReynolds,
- get two.
- 1791
- 01:27:38,580 --> 01:27:39,580
- There we go.
- 1792
- 01:27:41,500 --> 01:27:43,297
- Attaboy, Mac!
- 1793
- 01:27:43,980 --> 01:27:45,652
- That's what I'm talking about.
- 1794
- 01:27:45,740 --> 01:27:47,890
- Sweet double, McReynolds!
- 1795
- 01:27:47,980 --> 01:27:49,732
- - Good hit, Mac!
- - Hey, nice hit.
- 1796
- 01:27:49,860 --> 01:27:52,420
- Welcome to college ball, freshman.
- 1797
- 01:27:55,860 --> 01:27:57,940
- All right, boys.
- All right, bring it up, bring it up!
- 1798
- 01:27:58,020 --> 01:28:00,011
- If I look good, I fucking play good.
- 1799
- 01:28:00,100 --> 01:28:01,818
- All right, listen up, good first practice.
- 1800
- 01:28:01,900 --> 01:28:03,356
- All right? This is where it all starts.
- 1801
- 01:28:03,380 --> 01:28:04,836
- We're out here,
- ahead of all the other teams
- 1802
- 01:28:04,860 --> 01:28:06,356
- in the country,
- and we're gonna keep it that way
- 1803
- 01:28:06,380 --> 01:28:07,580
- and work hard all year, right?
- 1804
- 01:28:07,740 --> 01:28:09,412
- Yeah!
- 1805
- 01:28:09,540 --> 01:28:12,532
- - All right then, boys, y'all be good.
- - Uh-uh-uh!
- 1806
- 01:28:12,620 --> 01:28:14,099
- Not so fast.
- 1807
- 01:28:15,620 --> 01:28:18,134
- We have a little tradition out
- here welcoming in the new guys.
- 1808
- 01:28:19,020 --> 01:28:20,772
- It's called a little bit of freshmen...
- 1809
- 01:28:20,900 --> 01:28:22,697
- Batting practice!
- 1810
- 01:28:29,780 --> 01:28:31,099
- Whoo!
- 1811
- 01:28:41,980 --> 01:28:43,129
- Oh, gosh!
- 1812
- 01:28:44,380 --> 01:28:45,415
- Fuck!
- 1813
- 01:28:47,980 --> 01:28:49,129
- Oh, my nuts!
- 1814
- 01:28:49,220 --> 01:28:50,289
- Let's go, boys! Come on!
- 1815
- 01:28:50,420 --> 01:28:51,420
- Oh, fuck!
- 1816
- 01:29:03,980 --> 01:29:06,733
- Dale! Dale! Dale! Dale!
- 1817
- 01:29:14,860 --> 01:29:16,054
- That was not good.
- 1818
- 01:29:16,140 --> 01:29:17,858
- Say cheese, baby!
- 1819
- 01:29:17,980 --> 01:29:18,980
- Whoo!
- 1820
- 01:29:19,820 --> 01:29:21,651
- Say cheese!
- 1821
- 01:29:28,460 --> 01:29:30,291
- That's how we do it.
- 1822
- 01:29:42,980 --> 01:29:43,980
- Whatever, girls.
- 1823
- 01:29:44,340 --> 01:29:45,580
- Did you get hit, Jacob?
- 1824
- 01:29:45,620 --> 01:29:46,796
- Yeah, man.
- They got me on the wrist,
- 1825
- 01:29:46,820 --> 01:29:48,156
- and they almost knocked me in the nuts.
- 1826
- 01:29:48,180 --> 01:29:50,100
- Shoot, man.
- They got me on the shoulder with one,
- 1827
- 01:29:50,220 --> 01:29:51,733
- but, hey, they said a few years back,
- 1828
- 01:29:51,820 --> 01:29:52,876
- one ol' boy got hit in the head
- 1829
- 01:29:52,900 --> 01:29:55,289
- and nearly knocked
- his eyeball out of its socket.
- 1830
- 01:29:55,740 --> 01:29:58,129
- - Is that enough for you? Okay.
- - Yes. Yes.
- 1831
- 01:29:58,220 --> 01:29:59,858
- Gotta get some meat
- on that boy's bones.
- 1832
- 01:29:59,980 --> 01:30:01,333
- Hey.
- 1833
- 01:30:01,420 --> 01:30:03,934
- What are you doing here?
- I thought you'd graduated.
- 1834
- 01:30:04,340 --> 01:30:06,729
- Look, maybe it just feels
- like I've been here too long.
- 1835
- 01:30:06,860 --> 01:30:08,373
- You have.
- 1836
- 01:30:08,700 --> 01:30:09,894
- Hey, Jacob.
- 1837
- 01:30:09,980 --> 01:30:11,049
- What?
- 1838
- 01:30:12,020 --> 01:30:15,808
- Unreal, doggie, we made it!
- 1839
- 01:30:17,060 --> 01:30:18,971
- This isn't what I was expecting at all.
- 1840
- 01:30:19,060 --> 01:30:20,732
- Well, what were you expecting, Beuter?
- 1841
- 01:30:21,460 --> 01:30:23,974
- Shoot, man, it's just,
- you know, I tell you,
- 1842
- 01:30:24,060 --> 01:30:25,573
- it's kind of confusing.
- 1843
- 01:30:25,700 --> 01:30:26,956
- Well, what's confusing, Perkins?
- 1844
- 01:30:26,980 --> 01:30:28,732
- Well, besides your ever-changing name.
- 1845
- 01:30:28,860 --> 01:30:30,691
- Good grief, guys, come on now.
- 1846
- 01:30:31,300 --> 01:30:35,816
- All right, look, y'all, so a buddy of mine
- told me that last year,
- 1847
- 01:30:35,900 --> 01:30:38,175
- one of his professors
- in them scientific classes
- 1848
- 01:30:38,260 --> 01:30:40,569
- told him that there's no historical proof
- 1849
- 01:30:40,660 --> 01:30:41,809
- Jesus Christ ever existed.
- 1850
- 01:30:41,900 --> 01:30:44,733
- Who gives a turd
- what some egghead professor says?
- 1851
- 01:30:44,900 --> 01:30:46,492
- Seems like there's a lot of stuff
- 1852
- 01:30:46,580 --> 01:30:48,138
- going on around here, you know?
- 1853
- 01:30:48,220 --> 01:30:50,495
- Just lots of different types of stuff
- 1854
- 01:30:50,580 --> 01:30:53,299
- and temptations, and things like that.
- 1855
- 01:30:53,380 --> 01:30:54,779
- - Beuter.
- - Yes, sir.
- 1856
- 01:30:54,860 --> 01:30:56,540
- Are you prepared to
- fold like a lawn chair?
- 1857
- 01:30:57,500 --> 01:30:58,933
- Private Beuter, are you prepared
- 1858
- 01:30:59,060 --> 01:31:00,100
- to fold like a lawn chair?
- 1859
- 01:31:00,180 --> 01:31:01,180
- Sir, no, sir.
- 1860
- 01:31:01,260 --> 01:31:02,613
- Good! Then don't.
- 1861
- 01:31:02,700 --> 01:31:04,338
- I'll give you freshmen a little advice
- 1862
- 01:31:04,460 --> 01:31:06,416
- on how to get your shit together, okay?
- 1863
- 01:31:06,500 --> 01:31:08,138
- You're at a new level here.
- 1864
- 01:31:08,220 --> 01:31:10,609
- You're pissing in the tall grass
- with the big dick dogs now.
- 1865
- 01:31:10,700 --> 01:31:13,089
- Hell, you got 21,
- 22-year-old guys over there
- 1866
- 01:31:13,220 --> 01:31:15,973
- who, at this stage, see you as someone
- trying to take their position.
- 1867
- 01:31:16,060 --> 01:31:17,937
- But what you limp cocks
- don't seem to realize
- 1868
- 01:31:18,020 --> 01:31:20,614
- is that you have
- not earned teammate status yet.
- 1869
- 01:31:21,220 --> 01:31:23,450
- And until you do, you're nobody.
- 1870
- 01:31:23,540 --> 01:31:25,690
- And not only do those guys
- not give a fuck about you,
- 1871
- 01:31:25,780 --> 01:31:28,374
- they would love to watch
- every single one of you fail.
- 1872
- 01:31:29,900 --> 01:31:32,175
- I already told you, Jake,
- this ain't high school, man.
- 1873
- 01:31:32,260 --> 01:31:33,876
- You guys
- aren't the All-Stars you thought you were
- 1874
- 01:31:33,900 --> 01:31:35,936
- back from wherever the hell
- it is you came from.
- 1875
- 01:31:36,020 --> 01:31:38,454
- Here, you're on your own.
- 1876
- 01:31:39,460 --> 01:31:40,609
- And it's competitive, man.
- 1877
- 01:31:40,700 --> 01:31:42,258
- So, shit, if you wanna succeed,
- 1878
- 01:31:42,340 --> 01:31:44,217
- really succeed, the only choice you have
- 1879
- 01:31:44,300 --> 01:31:46,814
- is to mentally toughen the fuck up.
- 1880
- 01:31:47,700 --> 01:31:49,656
- - Yes, sir.
- - Temptation, my asshole.
- 1881
- 01:31:50,500 --> 01:31:52,058
- Temptation his asshole?
- 1882
- 01:31:52,140 --> 01:31:53,858
- Dude, did you guys hear?
- 1883
- 01:31:53,940 --> 01:31:54,975
- What?
- 1884
- 01:31:55,100 --> 01:31:56,658
- Willoughby's gone!
- 1885
- 01:31:57,940 --> 01:31:59,419
- - What?
- - Busted!
- 1886
- 01:31:59,500 --> 01:32:00,569
- What, weed?
- 1887
- 01:32:00,660 --> 01:32:01,660
- Nah, dude.
- 1888
- 01:32:01,740 --> 01:32:05,574
- He's 30! Like, he's 30 fucking years old!
- 1889
- 01:32:05,660 --> 01:32:07,651
- - Thirty!
- - Like a three and a zero.
- 1890
- 01:32:07,780 --> 01:32:09,372
- - Oh, no fucking way.
- - No, sir.
- 1891
- 01:32:09,460 --> 01:32:11,576
- Yes, sir!
- No, no, no! Get this, get this.
- 1892
- 01:32:11,660 --> 01:32:15,096
- Willoughby isn't even his real name.
- 1893
- 01:32:15,180 --> 01:32:17,216
- Dude, it's like a secret identity!
- 1894
- 01:32:17,300 --> 01:32:19,450
- Yeah, no,
- the registrar's office discovered it.
- 1895
- 01:32:19,540 --> 01:32:21,258
- They were looking up
- on some transfer hours
- 1896
- 01:32:21,340 --> 01:32:22,614
- that looked fishy.
- 1897
- 01:32:22,700 --> 01:32:24,076
- They'd been investigating it for a while,
- 1898
- 01:32:24,100 --> 01:32:25,396
- and told the coach this afternoon.
- 1899
- 01:32:25,420 --> 01:32:26,660
- That's what that was all about.
- 1900
- 01:32:26,700 --> 01:32:27,700
- - No way.
- - Dude, what?
- 1901
- 01:32:27,820 --> 01:32:30,175
- Yeah. No, not only that,
- 1902
- 01:32:30,260 --> 01:32:32,728
- but they think
- he's been doing this to other colleges.
- 1903
- 01:32:32,860 --> 01:32:36,250
- - Transferring, playing ball.
- - Is he still here?
- 1904
- 01:32:36,340 --> 01:32:39,218
- Nah, man. We just went by the house.
- 1905
- 01:32:39,380 --> 01:32:40,529
- Van's gone, he's gone.
- 1906
- 01:32:40,620 --> 01:32:42,656
- All his shit's gone, man.
- 1907
- 01:32:43,100 --> 01:32:44,931
- He just left one thing, man.
- 1908
- 01:32:45,060 --> 01:32:48,609
- In the middle of our room,
- he left a Pink Floyd album
- 1909
- 01:32:48,700 --> 01:32:51,168
- and a big-ass joint on top.
- 1910
- 01:32:51,260 --> 01:32:52,534
- We smoked it!
- 1911
- 01:32:54,220 --> 01:32:55,276
- You know, he's probably just a guy
- 1912
- 01:32:55,300 --> 01:32:56,756
- that wasn't quite good enough
- to play pro ball,
- 1913
- 01:32:56,780 --> 01:32:59,340
- but he loved baseball
- and he just wanted to keep playing.
- 1914
- 01:32:59,420 --> 01:33:00,540
- And living the college life.
- 1915
- 01:33:00,580 --> 01:33:01,649
- Maybe that, too.
- 1916
- 01:33:01,740 --> 01:33:04,174
- He's not a bad guy. He just got caught.
- 1917
- 01:33:04,260 --> 01:33:05,329
- I liked him.
- 1918
- 01:33:05,420 --> 01:33:06,660
- - Good pitcher, too.
- - Oh, yeah.
- 1919
- 01:33:09,220 --> 01:33:10,255
- Brum!
- 1920
- 01:33:11,260 --> 01:33:12,260
- How's this?
- 1921
- 01:33:12,380 --> 01:33:13,813
- Let's see. Oh, shit.
- 1922
- 01:33:13,900 --> 01:33:15,780
- It's one card away
- from a Saskatchewan straight.
- 1923
- 01:33:15,900 --> 01:33:17,652
- - You know what that is?
- - What?
- 1924
- 01:33:17,740 --> 01:33:19,219
- You might as well show 'em.
- 1925
- 01:33:19,300 --> 01:33:20,733
- - How bad is it?
- - It's bad.
- 1926
- 01:33:20,820 --> 01:33:22,048
- Oh!
- 1927
- 01:33:22,180 --> 01:33:23,180
- What is it?
- 1928
- 01:33:23,260 --> 01:33:24,739
- It's called a Manitoba Moose.
- 1929
- 01:33:24,860 --> 01:33:26,771
- - You're fucked, Brum.
- - What?
- 1930
- 01:33:26,900 --> 01:33:28,219
- Well, the rules state that,
- 1931
- 01:33:28,300 --> 01:33:29,716
- if you ever wanna play this game again...
- 1932
- 01:33:29,740 --> 01:33:31,970
- If you wanna stay on this team, bro.
- 1933
- 01:33:32,100 --> 01:33:33,658
- I do.
- 1934
- 01:33:33,740 --> 01:33:35,571
- You have to fly to Winnipeg,
- 1935
- 01:33:35,700 --> 01:33:37,236
- you have to drive
- to Caribou River Park Reserve
- 1936
- 01:33:37,260 --> 01:33:38,295
- in Manitoba,
- 1937
- 01:33:38,380 --> 01:33:39,813
- you have to walk out on the tundra,
- 1938
- 01:33:39,900 --> 01:33:41,538
- you have to find a moose,
- 1939
- 01:33:42,540 --> 01:33:45,100
- carefully get under said moose...
- 1940
- 01:33:47,060 --> 01:33:48,175
- You gotta suck its dick.
- 1941
- 01:33:50,740 --> 01:33:51,968
- Really?
- 1942
- 01:33:52,060 --> 01:33:53,209
- Yeah.
- 1943
- 01:33:53,940 --> 01:33:55,976
- - Happened once before.
- - Wait, really?
- 1944
- 01:33:56,100 --> 01:33:57,169
- He was a good guy.
- 1945
- 01:33:57,300 --> 01:33:58,335
- He was a great guy.
- 1946
- 01:33:58,420 --> 01:33:59,648
- Anyway, you guys all pass?
- 1947
- 01:33:59,740 --> 01:34:00,934
- Yeah, that's it, man.
- 1948
- 01:34:01,060 --> 01:34:04,211
- Oh, take off, you hosers!
- It's a Winnipeg Flip!
- 1949
- 01:34:04,300 --> 01:34:08,054
- <i>O Canada!</i>
- 1950
- 01:34:08,140 --> 01:34:11,815
- <i>Our home and native land!</i>
- 1951
- 01:34:11,980 --> 01:34:14,540
- <i>True patriot love...</i>
- 1952
- 01:34:14,620 --> 01:34:16,497
- What the fuck game are they playing?
- 1953
- 01:34:16,620 --> 01:34:17,956
- I mean, they say
- it's called "O Canada,"
- 1954
- 01:34:17,980 --> 01:34:19,116
- but I'm pretty sure
- they're just making it up
- 1955
- 01:34:19,140 --> 01:34:20,732
- as they go along, you know?
- 1956
- 01:34:20,820 --> 01:34:24,859
- Like most things
- with these guys, it's total bullshit.
- 1957
- 01:34:24,940 --> 01:34:27,249
- But why, you know?
- 1958
- 01:34:27,340 --> 01:34:29,331
- It's more about seeing
- how witty they can be.
- 1959
- 01:34:29,420 --> 01:34:30,700
- Like that whole Pete Ward thing.
- 1960
- 01:34:30,780 --> 01:34:32,930
- What do you mean,
- "the Pete Ward thing"?
- 1961
- 01:34:33,020 --> 01:34:35,056
- - Pete Ward.
- - What about him?
- 1962
- 01:34:35,140 --> 01:34:37,700
- The super scout for the Reds?
- Master of disguise?
- 1963
- 01:34:37,820 --> 01:34:39,936
- - They made all that up, too.
- - Yeah?
- 1964
- 01:34:40,020 --> 01:34:41,636
- Are you trying to... Pete Ward ain't real?
- 1965
- 01:34:41,660 --> 01:34:42,695
- Oh, come on.
- 1966
- 01:34:42,820 --> 01:34:44,697
- Hey, guys, guys,
- Plum and bitch boy think
- 1967
- 01:34:44,820 --> 01:34:46,651
- Pete Ward's real.
- 1968
- 01:34:49,100 --> 01:34:50,169
- What are you implying?
- 1969
- 01:34:50,260 --> 01:34:51,260
- Yeah, Jake.
- 1970
- 01:34:51,340 --> 01:34:52,853
- Who are you to say he isn't real?
- 1971
- 01:34:53,020 --> 01:34:54,578
- Yeah, "bitch boy."
- 1972
- 01:34:54,660 --> 01:34:55,888
- Okay, he's real.
- 1973
- 01:34:56,020 --> 01:34:57,916
- Hey, Jake, you're still not
- saying where that party is.
- 1974
- 01:34:57,940 --> 01:34:59,055
- What party?
- 1975
- 01:34:59,140 --> 01:35:00,698
- Jake's got a big party tonight.
- 1976
- 01:35:00,820 --> 01:35:02,956
- Supposed to meet up
- with this hot dancer-actress chick,
- 1977
- 01:35:02,980 --> 01:35:04,316
- but he doesn't want us to be there.
- 1978
- 01:35:04,340 --> 01:35:06,516
- Hey, hold on, hey, I'm not saying
- you guys can't come, all right?
- 1979
- 01:35:06,540 --> 01:35:08,417
- Did I say that? No.
- 1980
- 01:35:08,500 --> 01:35:10,616
- I just implied you guys
- might be bored, that's all.
- 1981
- 01:35:10,700 --> 01:35:12,850
- Dancer chicks have great asses.
- 1982
- 01:35:12,940 --> 01:35:14,116
- Now, that's a fact, I know that.
- 1983
- 01:35:14,140 --> 01:35:16,495
- Let me get this straight. A freshman
- 1984
- 01:35:16,580 --> 01:35:20,129
- is trying to stop us
- from, from going to a party, is that...
- 1985
- 01:35:20,220 --> 01:35:22,116
- It's not even that we're
- not invited to this party,
- 1986
- 01:35:22,140 --> 01:35:24,017
- - he just doesn't want us to go.
- - Mmm...
- 1987
- 01:35:24,100 --> 01:35:26,694
- Did I ever say that? No, okay?
- 1988
- 01:35:26,780 --> 01:35:28,736
- I was just implying that
- this party might not be
- 1989
- 01:35:28,820 --> 01:35:31,334
- your guys' cup of tea,
- but, I mean, fuck it,
- 1990
- 01:35:31,420 --> 01:35:32,940
- you guys can come with me if you want.
- 1991
- 01:35:36,380 --> 01:35:38,974
- I don't wanna embarrass you
- in front of all your new
- 1992
- 01:35:39,060 --> 01:35:40,652
- artsy-fartsy theater major friends.
- 1993
- 01:35:40,740 --> 01:35:41,809
- We're gonna stay here,
- 1994
- 01:35:41,900 --> 01:35:42,956
- we're gonna play cards, you have fun.
- 1995
- 01:35:42,980 --> 01:35:47,371
- Give me a fucking break.
- Finn. Finn. Finn.
- 1996
- 01:35:47,500 --> 01:35:49,036
- - Hey, come on, look at me.
- - Don't do it.
- 1997
- 01:35:49,060 --> 01:35:50,756
- - Hey, look at me. Look at me.
- - Don't look.
- 1998
- 01:35:50,780 --> 01:35:52,133
- Stay strong.
- 1999
- 01:35:52,220 --> 01:35:54,256
- All right, I beg you. No, I implore you
- 2000
- 01:35:54,700 --> 01:35:56,816
- to come to this party.
- 2001
- 01:35:56,900 --> 01:35:58,516
- All right, I realize that
- I wouldn't know how to make it
- 2002
- 01:35:58,540 --> 01:36:01,657
- through this world without
- all of your unsolicited wisdom.
- 2003
- 01:36:01,740 --> 01:36:05,574
- And all you guys' constant fuckwithery.
- 2004
- 01:36:06,940 --> 01:36:08,373
- What do you say?
- 2005
- 01:36:08,460 --> 01:36:09,779
- You don't really mean that.
- 2006
- 01:36:10,700 --> 01:36:12,418
- I wouldn't say it if I didn't.
- 2007
- 01:36:14,260 --> 01:36:15,488
- Can you give us a moment?
- 2008
- 01:36:15,580 --> 01:36:16,808
- Of course I can.
- 2009
- 01:36:20,060 --> 01:36:21,971
- - Your call.
- - I wanna go.
- 2010
- 01:36:23,580 --> 01:36:25,571
- - Theater party.
- - Theater party.
- 2011
- 01:36:25,660 --> 01:36:27,571
- Theater party!
- 2012
- 01:36:28,500 --> 01:36:30,411
- Guys, were we supposed
- to wear a costume?
- 2013
- 01:36:30,500 --> 01:36:32,934
- You are in costume,
- of a dipshit.
- 2014
- 01:36:33,100 --> 01:36:35,773
- Oh, shit,
- it's the Led Zeppelin dude.
- 2015
- 01:36:35,860 --> 01:36:37,088
- Yo, what's happening, man?
- 2016
- 01:36:37,180 --> 01:36:39,136
- - It's creepy!
- - Tell me about it.
- 2017
- 01:36:41,940 --> 01:36:43,453
- Holy shit.
- 2018
- 01:36:44,180 --> 01:36:46,410
- The inside is even weirder.
- 2019
- 01:36:46,500 --> 01:36:47,916
- This ain't no frat party.
- 2020
- 01:36:47,940 --> 01:36:49,692
- Here's what we're gonna do.
- 2021
- 01:36:50,500 --> 01:36:52,456
- Feel the freak!
- 2022
- 01:36:55,860 --> 01:36:58,090
- Dude, how great is this?
- 2023
- 01:36:58,460 --> 01:36:59,654
- Cha-chao!
- 2024
- 01:37:01,620 --> 01:37:04,418
- Hey, girls, how you doing? I'm Roper.
- 2025
- 01:37:04,500 --> 01:37:06,855
- Hey, Brum, go get some drinks, man.
- 2026
- 01:37:13,500 --> 01:37:14,933
- Fuck!
- 2027
- 01:37:15,020 --> 01:37:16,931
- - Did you see that?
- - What?
- 2028
- 01:37:17,020 --> 01:37:18,055
- A fucking cat.
- 2029
- 01:37:18,140 --> 01:37:20,051
- Cats shouldn't be in fridges.
- 2030
- 01:37:31,380 --> 01:37:34,929
- Best costume ever. Amazing.
- 2031
- 01:37:35,060 --> 01:37:37,620
- - Jake! Hey! Hi!
- - Hey! Hey!
- 2032
- 01:37:37,980 --> 01:37:40,494
- - You're blonde!
- - I know.
- 2033
- 01:37:40,580 --> 01:37:42,650
- I'm really glad you came.
- 2034
- 01:37:42,740 --> 01:37:45,971
- Except for, I think... This one.
- 2035
- 01:37:46,060 --> 01:37:47,100
- Yeah, you need this. Yeah.
- 2036
- 01:37:47,180 --> 01:37:48,329
- Yeah?
- 2037
- 01:37:50,700 --> 01:37:52,930
- Hi. I'm Debra Kadabra.
- 2038
- 01:37:53,020 --> 01:37:54,300
- What are you gonna do with that?
- 2039
- 01:37:55,420 --> 01:37:58,856
- And now, I can officially
- welcome you to Oz.
- 2040
- 01:37:58,940 --> 01:38:00,612
- Hi, guys. I'm Beverly.
- 2041
- 01:38:00,700 --> 01:38:01,916
- - Hi, Beverly.
- - Good to see you.
- 2042
- 01:38:01,940 --> 01:38:03,931
- Three words,
- 2043
- 01:38:04,020 --> 01:38:06,978
- thoroughly equipped dungeon.
- 2044
- 01:38:11,820 --> 01:38:13,596
- Can I borrow you
- for something really quickly?
- 2045
- 01:38:13,620 --> 01:38:15,736
- 'Cause someone dropped out,
- and it's really easy,
- 2046
- 01:38:15,820 --> 01:38:17,651
- and it's gonna be really fun.
- 2047
- 01:38:17,740 --> 01:38:19,139
- - Yeah. Sure.
- - Okay.
- 2048
- 01:38:19,220 --> 01:38:22,292
- Well, I gotta go inside
- for a second, but I'll see you soon.
- 2049
- 01:38:22,380 --> 01:38:23,495
- - Cool.
- - Okay.
- 2050
- 01:38:23,780 --> 01:38:25,099
- Ooh!
- 2051
- 01:38:48,780 --> 01:38:49,895
- He's being modest.
- 2052
- 01:38:49,980 --> 01:38:51,698
- Not only is he
- a pre-season All-American,
- 2053
- 01:38:51,780 --> 01:38:54,294
- you're gonna be seeing
- this guy on TV someday.
- 2054
- 01:38:54,380 --> 01:38:56,052
- Now, this guy,
- 2055
- 01:38:56,180 --> 01:38:58,694
- this guy's the best
- third baseman in the state!
- 2056
- 01:38:58,780 --> 01:39:00,771
- Like a fucking
- vacuum cleaner down there, man.
- 2057
- 01:39:00,860 --> 01:39:02,516
- Fuck that.
- We're taking that shit this year.
- 2058
- 01:39:02,540 --> 01:39:03,540
- It's this year.
- 2059
- 01:39:03,580 --> 01:39:04,636
- Hey, that's what I'm talking about, man.
- 2060
- 01:39:04,660 --> 01:39:06,276
- Fuck losing the playoffs.
- We're taking it all this year.
- 2061
- 01:39:06,300 --> 01:39:08,097
- - You're into astrology?
- - Of course.
- 2062
- 01:39:08,180 --> 01:39:09,396
- So, you've had your chart done?
- 2063
- 01:39:09,420 --> 01:39:11,570
- Oh, yeah. It's fascinating.
- 2064
- 01:39:11,660 --> 01:39:13,491
- - I'm a Leo.
- - Uh-oh.
- 2065
- 01:39:13,580 --> 01:39:15,889
- Yeah, I know, I know.
- A little full of myself.
- 2066
- 01:39:15,980 --> 01:39:16,980
- Hmm.
- 2067
- 01:39:17,060 --> 01:39:19,176
- - But I'm very loyal...
- - Mmm-hmm.
- 2068
- 01:39:19,260 --> 01:39:20,295
- Confident...
- 2069
- 01:39:20,380 --> 01:39:21,779
- Right.
- 2070
- 01:39:22,380 --> 01:39:26,259
- The chart says I'm overly confident,
- but the truth is.
- 2071
- 01:39:27,300 --> 01:39:29,256
- I wound easily.
- 2072
- 01:39:30,140 --> 01:39:32,256
- It also says I'd make
- a great father someday,
- 2073
- 01:39:32,340 --> 01:39:34,137
- but I don't know.
- 2074
- 01:39:34,940 --> 01:39:38,137
- You gotta
- be shittin' me, man!
- 2075
- 01:39:38,220 --> 01:39:40,688
- You wound easily, poor Finnegan.
- 2076
- 01:39:40,780 --> 01:39:43,977
- Astrology? Mr. Cause-and-
- Effect Rationalist?
- 2077
- 01:39:44,420 --> 01:39:46,172
- Who are these guys?
- 2078
- 01:39:46,660 --> 01:39:49,413
- Oh, excuse us. Uh, I'm a Scorpio.
- 2079
- 01:39:50,020 --> 01:39:52,170
- - I'm Jake.
- - Don't do it.
- 2080
- 01:39:55,420 --> 01:39:57,138
- Has he told you about his average cock?
- 2081
- 01:39:58,740 --> 01:40:01,618
- Has he told... Finn!
- Did you tell her, Finn?
- 2082
- 01:40:02,820 --> 01:40:04,048
- Did you tell her?
- 2083
- 01:40:04,140 --> 01:40:05,996
- "Hey, so have you had
- your chart done?"
- 2084
- 01:40:06,020 --> 01:40:08,534
- "Oh, yeah, I'm a Leo.
- You know, very confident..."
- 2085
- 01:40:08,620 --> 01:40:11,196
- You know what, if I had a prohibition
- against sleeping with all women
- 2086
- 01:40:11,220 --> 01:40:12,260
- who believed in astrology,
- 2087
- 01:40:12,340 --> 01:40:13,396
- I'd still be a virgin, all right?
- 2088
- 01:40:13,420 --> 01:40:14,836
- I'm being practical.
- 2089
- 01:40:14,860 --> 01:40:17,499
- I'd rather die a virgin
- than say my chart says
- 2090
- 01:40:17,580 --> 01:40:19,775
- I'll make a good father someday.
- 2091
- 01:40:19,860 --> 01:40:21,796
- Just because you guys
- are laying bricks with the ladies,
- 2092
- 01:40:21,820 --> 01:40:22,935
- you know, I stepped up.
- 2093
- 01:40:23,060 --> 01:40:25,236
- I was talking her language,
- I was meeting her on her level.
- 2094
- 01:40:25,260 --> 01:40:26,836
- Instead of making fun of me,
- you should be taking notes.
- 2095
- 01:40:26,860 --> 01:40:27,929
- - Hmm.
- - Yeah?
- 2096
- 01:40:28,020 --> 01:40:29,036
- And by the way,
- she was really fucking cute.
- 2097
- 01:40:29,060 --> 01:40:30,180
- She was really fucking cute,
- 2098
- 01:40:30,260 --> 01:40:32,380
- and you immature jerkoffs
- just fucked up my whole rap!
- 2099
- 01:40:32,460 --> 01:40:33,556
- Coming around talking shit like that.
- 2100
- 01:40:33,580 --> 01:40:34,808
- You know what, your little...
- 2101
- 01:40:34,900 --> 01:40:36,572
- Fucking little jealous asshole crap
- 2102
- 01:40:36,700 --> 01:40:38,452
- just pulling me back in the boiling pot!
- 2103
- 01:40:38,540 --> 01:40:40,258
- Oh, Finn, come on!
- 2104
- 01:40:40,340 --> 01:40:41,380
- By the way, you know what?
- 2105
- 01:40:41,460 --> 01:40:44,054
- Have you noticed,
- whenever we're around baseball,
- 2106
- 01:40:44,140 --> 01:40:45,812
- all we talk about is pussy.
- 2107
- 01:40:45,900 --> 01:40:49,176
- Now, we're actually around a few
- potentially interesting young women,
- 2108
- 01:40:49,260 --> 01:40:51,615
- all you talk about is baseball!
- 2109
- 01:40:51,700 --> 01:40:53,816
- It's a little fucked up!
- 2110
- 01:41:02,900 --> 01:41:05,095
- Bachelor number three,
- 2111
- 01:41:05,220 --> 01:41:08,530
- what would be your dream date
- and your dream girl?
- 2112
- 01:41:09,180 --> 01:41:11,648
- My dream girl and my dream date.
- 2113
- 01:41:11,740 --> 01:41:14,174
- - Yes.
- - That's a very tough question.
- 2114
- 01:41:14,260 --> 01:41:17,297
- Um, I suppose my dream girl
- would come bearing tea
- 2115
- 01:41:17,380 --> 01:41:18,449
- and special crumpets,
- 2116
- 01:41:18,540 --> 01:41:21,054
- preferably in the bed, as well.
- 2117
- 01:41:21,140 --> 01:41:23,813
- And we could get hopped up
- on the tea and the crumpets.
- 2118
- 01:41:24,100 --> 01:41:25,852
- - Is this the Mad Hatter?
- - Yes.
- 2119
- 01:41:25,940 --> 01:41:27,532
- Curious and curiouser.
- 2120
- 01:41:27,620 --> 01:41:29,611
- Bachelor number one!
- 2121
- 01:41:29,700 --> 01:41:32,009
- - Oh, yes!
- - Yes.
- 2122
- 01:41:32,100 --> 01:41:33,579
- - Um, hello.
- - Oh, hello.
- 2123
- 01:41:35,500 --> 01:41:38,890
- Uh, give me your best pick-up line.
- 2124
- 01:41:40,500 --> 01:41:43,572
- Would you like to come see
- my large collection of heads,
- 2125
- 01:41:43,660 --> 01:41:46,094
- so that I can give you some?
- 2126
- 01:41:47,300 --> 01:41:49,450
- Is the
- Queen of Hearts a dude?
- 2127
- 01:41:50,020 --> 01:41:51,533
- Ooh, a good one.
- 2128
- 01:41:53,420 --> 01:41:55,456
- Red Queen, very interesting.
- 2129
- 01:41:55,540 --> 01:41:57,132
- Oh, that wasn't for you, sweetie.
- 2130
- 01:41:57,220 --> 01:41:58,448
- Bachelor number two!
- 2131
- 01:41:58,540 --> 01:42:01,577
- What is the most trouble
- you've ever gone to, to meet a girl?
- 2132
- 01:42:03,180 --> 01:42:06,331
- Bachelor number two? Are you there?
- 2133
- 01:42:06,860 --> 01:42:08,578
- I'm... I'm late!
- 2134
- 01:42:08,660 --> 01:42:11,333
- I'm late for a very important date.
- 2135
- 01:42:11,540 --> 01:42:13,258
- Ah!
- 2136
- 01:42:13,660 --> 01:42:14,888
- Ah!
- 2137
- 01:42:14,980 --> 01:42:16,777
- All right, Mr. Rabbit.
- 2138
- 01:42:16,860 --> 01:42:18,851
- It must've been awfully important like...
- 2139
- 01:42:18,940 --> 01:42:20,373
- Like a party or something.
- 2140
- 01:42:20,460 --> 01:42:21,529
- Yeah, totally.
- 2141
- 01:42:22,820 --> 01:42:24,014
- All right then.
- 2142
- 01:42:24,140 --> 01:42:26,176
- Bachelor number one.
- 2143
- 01:42:26,260 --> 01:42:28,300
- You've just invited me over
- for dinner, haven't you?
- 2144
- 01:42:30,700 --> 01:42:32,338
- 307, right?
- 2145
- 01:42:33,140 --> 01:42:35,131
- - The feminist.
- - Mmm.
- 2146
- 01:42:38,380 --> 01:42:39,938
- What, no speech?
- 2147
- 01:42:40,980 --> 01:42:41,980
- No.
- 2148
- 01:42:42,020 --> 01:42:44,739
- I'm kind of the silent type, you know?
- 2149
- 01:42:46,460 --> 01:42:47,939
- What's one kiss from...
- 2150
- 01:42:48,020 --> 01:42:49,658
- That is so sexy.
- 2151
- 01:42:50,340 --> 01:42:52,854
- - Priceless.
- - Priceless, is it?
- 2152
- 01:42:56,180 --> 01:42:58,330
- Okay, being completely honest...
- 2153
- 01:42:58,820 --> 01:42:59,855
- Uh-oh.
- 2154
- 01:42:59,940 --> 01:43:02,196
- When you said you liked
- the quiet guy in the back seat best,
- 2155
- 01:43:02,220 --> 01:43:03,916
- was it just a line
- to piss off the other guys in the car,
- 2156
- 01:43:03,940 --> 01:43:04,940
- or was it true?
- 2157
- 01:43:05,020 --> 01:43:07,580
- - Why do you ask?
- - I'm curious.
- 2158
- 01:43:07,660 --> 01:43:09,252
- You're curious about what?
- 2159
- 01:43:09,700 --> 01:43:11,940
- You know, we all make up this
- romantic crap in our heads.
- 2160
- 01:43:12,020 --> 01:43:13,460
- I'm just looking for some kind of...
- 2161
- 01:43:13,980 --> 01:43:15,618
- I think it's a little bit of both.
- 2162
- 01:43:15,700 --> 01:43:16,700
- What does that mean?
- 2163
- 01:43:17,700 --> 01:43:19,372
- Did I
- 2164
- 01:43:21,100 --> 01:43:24,695
- think that the quiet guy
- in the back seat was cute?
- 2165
- 01:43:24,780 --> 01:43:25,780
- Yes.
- 2166
- 01:43:25,860 --> 01:43:26,975
- Okay.
- 2167
- 01:43:27,060 --> 01:43:28,778
- Would I have walked up to you
- 2168
- 01:43:28,860 --> 01:43:31,613
- in a crowd, completely alone,
- unprovoked, by the way,
- 2169
- 01:43:31,700 --> 01:43:34,009
- and said that? No.
- 2170
- 01:43:34,100 --> 01:43:36,409
- So, my obnoxious teammates
- actually helped me on this one?
- 2171
- 01:43:36,900 --> 01:43:39,016
- - I think they did.
- - Shit!
- 2172
- 01:43:39,140 --> 01:43:40,596
- They're good for something after all.
- 2173
- 01:43:40,620 --> 01:43:44,613
- I was definitely messing with them,
- but I meant what I said.
- 2174
- 01:43:44,700 --> 01:43:46,099
- Don't make me say it again.
- 2175
- 01:43:52,700 --> 01:43:54,580
- Is this your
- first-choice school, or...
- 2176
- 01:43:54,660 --> 01:43:56,596
- No, I applied to a few,
- but this was the best school
- 2177
- 01:43:56,620 --> 01:43:58,292
- that also offered me a scholarship.
- 2178
- 01:43:58,380 --> 01:44:01,133
- You mean, you had to, like,
- write a bunch of essays
- 2179
- 01:44:01,220 --> 01:44:02,778
- and all that fun stuff?
- 2180
- 01:44:02,860 --> 01:44:05,010
- - Just one.
- - Oh. What'd you write about?
- 2181
- 01:44:05,100 --> 01:44:08,854
- The topic was to take a Greek myth
- and relate it to your own life.
- 2182
- 01:44:08,940 --> 01:44:11,613
- So you wrote about Aphrodite
- and being a baseball slut.
- 2183
- 01:44:11,700 --> 01:44:12,769
- Kind of.
- 2184
- 01:44:12,860 --> 01:44:14,657
- Shit. No. Uh...
- 2185
- 01:44:14,740 --> 01:44:16,036
- I just took Sisyphus and baseball,
- 2186
- 01:44:16,060 --> 01:44:17,652
- and just kinda...
- 2187
- 01:44:17,740 --> 01:44:19,076
- You wrote about that for your essay...
- 2188
- 01:44:19,100 --> 01:44:21,694
- How did you even, like...
- 2189
- 01:44:21,780 --> 01:44:22,836
- ...those two things together?
- 2190
- 01:44:22,860 --> 01:44:24,452
- Yeah, I did, believe it or not.
- 2191
- 01:44:24,540 --> 01:44:25,796
- I mean, the point
- of the whole thing is that
- 2192
- 01:44:25,820 --> 01:44:27,856
- the gods intend for Sisyphus
- to suffer, right?
- 2193
- 01:44:27,940 --> 01:44:29,339
- Right.
- 2194
- 01:44:29,420 --> 01:44:32,059
- Well, my point was that
- they'd actually blessed him
- 2195
- 01:44:32,140 --> 01:44:34,256
- with something to focus on, you know,
- 2196
- 01:44:34,340 --> 01:44:37,093
- something that he could
- potentially find meaning in.
- 2197
- 01:44:37,940 --> 01:44:39,556
- You know, it's a gift to be
- striving at all, you know,
- 2198
- 01:44:39,580 --> 01:44:41,252
- even if it looks futile to others.
- 2199
- 01:44:41,340 --> 01:44:42,489
- Yeah, that's true.
- 2200
- 01:44:42,580 --> 01:44:44,076
- I mean, yeah,
- it's ridiculous to roll a boulder
- 2201
- 01:44:44,100 --> 01:44:45,977
- up a mountain over
- and over and over again,
- 2202
- 01:44:46,060 --> 01:44:48,176
- but so is everything else in life.
- 2203
- 01:44:48,260 --> 01:44:50,036
- When you really think
- about it, especially a game.
- 2204
- 01:44:50,060 --> 01:44:52,176
- Things only mean as much
- as the meaningfulness
- 2205
- 01:44:52,260 --> 01:44:54,854
- that we allow them to have.
- 2206
- 01:44:54,940 --> 01:44:57,693
- That's where I tie it in to baseball.
- 2207
- 01:44:57,780 --> 01:45:00,658
- Just accepting whatever
- comes my way, you know?
- 2208
- 01:45:00,740 --> 01:45:02,731
- Good, bad, doesn't matter.
- 2209
- 01:45:04,100 --> 01:45:06,819
- What matters is just getting
- in that groove
- 2210
- 01:45:06,940 --> 01:45:09,613
- where the whole world kinda goes away,
- 2211
- 01:45:09,700 --> 01:45:12,260
- and I'm just doing what
- I'm supposed to be doing.
- 2212
- 01:45:12,340 --> 01:45:14,900
- I feel the same way about performing.
- 2213
- 01:45:15,020 --> 01:45:18,217
- It's putting yourself
- out there in art, in life,
- 2214
- 01:45:18,300 --> 01:45:20,256
- just participating.
- 2215
- 01:45:20,340 --> 01:45:21,340
- Yeah.
- 2216
- 01:45:21,420 --> 01:45:23,650
- Having the guts to look fucking stupid.
- 2217
- 01:45:28,260 --> 01:45:31,218
- It's kind of beautiful, isn't it?
- 2218
- 01:45:31,300 --> 01:45:32,369
- What?
- 2219
- 01:45:33,220 --> 01:45:35,051
- That we get to feel passion in this world,
- 2220
- 01:45:35,140 --> 01:45:36,573
- you know, about anything.
- 2221
- 01:45:40,220 --> 01:45:41,938
- And I like you.
- 2222
- 01:45:45,820 --> 01:45:47,651
- I like you, too.
- 2223
- 01:45:47,740 --> 01:45:49,093
- - Yeah?
- - Yeah.
- 2224
- 01:45:49,300 --> 01:45:51,768
- A little bit.
- 2225
- 01:46:47,740 --> 01:46:49,139
- - Hey.
- - Hey.
- 2226
- 01:46:50,100 --> 01:46:51,818
- - You up?
- - Yeah.
- 2227
- 01:46:51,900 --> 01:46:53,253
- - I'm up.
- - Yeah.
- 2228
- 01:46:55,900 --> 01:46:57,811
- - My cupcake. Come on.
- - I can't.
- 2229
- 01:46:57,900 --> 01:46:59,413
- Come on.
- 2230
- 01:47:01,500 --> 01:47:02,979
- What class do you have first up?
- 2231
- 01:47:03,060 --> 01:47:04,413
- History. You?
- 2232
- 01:47:04,540 --> 01:47:06,178
- English.
- 2233
- 01:47:07,500 --> 01:47:08,774
- - I think I'm here.
- - Here?
- 2234
- 01:47:08,900 --> 01:47:10,116
- Yeah. Where's your English class?
- 2235
- 01:47:10,140 --> 01:47:11,812
- It's over in Jones.
- 2236
- 01:47:14,060 --> 01:47:15,209
- - All rightie.
- - Okay.
- 2237
- 01:47:15,300 --> 01:47:16,892
- So, I'll talk to you soon?
- 2238
- 01:47:16,980 --> 01:47:18,095
- Yup.
- 2239
- 01:47:36,860 --> 01:47:38,771
- Bye. Call me later?
- 2240
- 01:47:39,140 --> 01:47:40,414
- I will.
- 2241
- 01:47:41,540 --> 01:47:42,814
- - Bye.
- - Bye.
- 2242
- 01:47:55,860 --> 01:47:56,860
- Bye.
- 2243
- 01:48:01,260 --> 01:48:03,137
- Jake! Jake!
- 2244
- 01:48:03,220 --> 01:48:05,336
- - Jake! Jake! Jake!
- - Jake! Jake! Jake!
- 2245
- 01:48:06,140 --> 01:48:07,140
- Ah...
- 2246
- 01:48:08,060 --> 01:48:10,494
- <i>Mi amigos de</i> fuckwithery!
- 2247
- 01:48:10,580 --> 01:48:11,900
- How can I amuse you this morning?
- 2248
- 01:48:11,980 --> 01:48:14,289
- That was adorable. Just the whole like...
- 2249
- 01:48:14,380 --> 01:48:15,938
- I think I got a tear in my eye, Jakie.
- 2250
- 01:48:16,020 --> 01:48:17,692
- Oh, my goodness.
- 2251
- 01:48:18,180 --> 01:48:20,853
- Ah, we noticed that you never
- made it home last night.
- 2252
- 01:48:21,180 --> 01:48:22,180
- Hmm?
- 2253
- 01:48:22,380 --> 01:48:25,372
- - Are we to suppose...
- - Oh, we're supposing.
- 2254
- 01:48:25,540 --> 01:48:27,849
- Look, it's cool, guys.
- All right. We had a nice time.
- 2255
- 01:48:27,940 --> 01:48:29,436
- - Oh, "a nice time"?
- - Oh, man, I know...
- 2256
- 01:48:29,460 --> 01:48:30,813
- I like her.
- 2257
- 01:48:31,700 --> 01:48:33,372
- - He likes her.
- - He likes her.
- 2258
- 01:48:33,460 --> 01:48:35,416
- You like her! Oh, God, Jake!
- 2259
- 01:48:35,500 --> 01:48:36,535
- Oh...
- 2260
- 01:48:36,620 --> 01:48:39,180
- Don't you guys have class or something?
- 2261
- 01:48:39,260 --> 01:48:41,137
- You know what, I do have class.
- 2262
- 01:48:41,220 --> 01:48:42,916
- But I go to class when I say I go to class.
- 2263
- 01:48:42,940 --> 01:48:44,532
- You go to class.
- 2264
- 01:48:44,620 --> 01:48:47,054
- I want a full report on my desk
- by the end of the day.
- 2265
- 01:48:47,140 --> 01:48:50,655
- Bibliography! Annotated! Highlighted!
- 2266
- 01:48:52,420 --> 01:48:53,648
- Jake!
- 2267
- 01:49:00,620 --> 01:49:01,620
- Cho!
- 2268
- 01:49:10,180 --> 01:49:12,375
- It sounds like you rocked it last night.
- 2269
- 01:49:12,460 --> 01:49:13,460
- How'd you do?
- 2270
- 01:49:13,540 --> 01:49:14,893
- Not bad.
- 2271
- 01:49:14,980 --> 01:49:18,131
- Ended up with that tall chick
- in the leather, you know,
- 2272
- 01:49:18,260 --> 01:49:19,852
- - Debra Kadabra?
- - Yeah?
- 2273
- 01:49:19,940 --> 01:49:20,940
- Yeah, she's a senior.
- 2274
- 01:49:21,020 --> 01:49:22,453
- Yeah!
- 2275
- 01:49:22,540 --> 01:49:25,737
- You know, she's not, like,
- actually a dominatrix.
- 2276
- 01:49:25,820 --> 01:49:27,412
- I didn't get beat up or anything.
- 2277
- 01:49:27,500 --> 01:49:29,218
- - Oh, cool.
- - That was just a costume.
- 2278
- 01:49:29,940 --> 01:49:31,931
- Yeah, we had ourselves a good ol' time.
- 2279
- 01:49:32,020 --> 01:49:33,248
- Nice, man.
- 2280
- 01:49:33,340 --> 01:49:34,819
- Who's this fuck?
- 2281
- 01:49:35,700 --> 01:49:37,770
- I, uh, think that's our professor.
- 2282
- 01:49:37,860 --> 01:49:39,976
- - This guy?
- - Yeah.
- 2283
- 01:49:40,060 --> 01:49:41,971
- - No shit.
- - Mmm-hmm.
- 2284
- 01:49:42,060 --> 01:49:45,052
- You know what, man, I got outta there
- about 6:00 in the morning.
- 2285
- 01:49:45,140 --> 01:49:48,132
- Shit, if I wasn't still drunk,
- I think I'd be fucking dead.
- 2286
- 01:49:48,220 --> 01:49:49,733
- Yeah, me, too, man.
- 2287
- 01:49:49,820 --> 01:49:51,811
- It's gonna be a long fucking day.
- 2288
- 01:49:51,900 --> 01:49:53,253
- Yeah, but a good year.
- 2289
- 01:49:53,420 --> 01:49:54,773
- I can tell, man.
- 2290
- 01:49:54,860 --> 01:49:56,771
- Shit.
- 2291
- 01:49:56,860 --> 01:49:59,328
- Welcome to college, motherfuckers.
- 2292
- 01:53:53,740 --> 01:53:55,810
- <i>I'm Rope a Dope
- A proud Cherokee</i>
- 2293
- 01:53:55,900 --> 01:53:58,130
- <i>I stay busy chopping girls' cherry trees</i>
- 2294
- 01:53:58,220 --> 01:54:00,290
- <i>I'll show you my buns if the booze is free.</i>
- 2295
- 01:54:00,420 --> 01:54:02,650
- <i>Hands on the wheel
- and fondue my cheese.</i>
- 2296
- 01:54:02,740 --> 01:54:04,651
- <i>Hey, ladies
- please pass me another</i>
- 2297
- 01:54:04,740 --> 01:54:06,956
- <i>I'm not a rubber lover glover
- I don't need no love buffer</i>
- 2298
- 01:54:06,980 --> 01:54:09,016
- <i>I'ma do like Pete Ward
- and go undercover.</i>
- 2299
- 01:54:09,100 --> 01:54:10,116
- <i>Make a sister leave a brother.</i>
- 2300
- 01:54:10,140 --> 01:54:12,131
- <i>We goin' make a little trouble.</i>
- 2301
- 01:54:13,740 --> 01:54:15,253
- You're the new guy?
- 2302
- 01:54:15,340 --> 01:54:16,340
- <i>Dale Douglas!</i>
- 2303
- 01:54:16,420 --> 01:54:18,092
- <i>Flier than a Cutlass Supreme.</i>
- 2304
- 01:54:18,180 --> 01:54:20,296
- <i>Southeast Texas Cherokees
- We the team.</i>
- 2305
- 01:54:20,380 --> 01:54:22,257
- <i>Finn, me, and Coma
- We got Mac in between.</i>
- 2306
- 01:54:22,340 --> 01:54:24,436
- <i>Number one position players
- Make these girls wanna scream.</i>
- 2307
- 01:54:24,460 --> 01:54:26,576
- <i>Wakin ' up in a dream
- Lucid so sweet.</i>
- 2308
- 01:54:26,660 --> 01:54:29,299
- <i>We make you toothless
- To put it plain and simple.</i>
- 2309
- 01:54:29,380 --> 01:54:30,449
- <i>We the cream of the crop.</i>
- 2310
- 01:54:30,540 --> 01:54:32,576
- <i>Cherokees are never leavin '
- the top... Douglas.</i>
- 2311
- 01:54:32,700 --> 01:54:34,770
- <i>My name is Willoughby
- I know the master plan</i>
- 2312
- 01:54:34,860 --> 01:54:37,090
- <i>I got the sun and the stars
- In the palm of my hand.</i>
- 2313
- 01:54:37,180 --> 01:54:39,250
- <i>Carl Sagan knows
- the universe is eternal</i>
- 2314
- 01:54:39,340 --> 01:54:41,296
- <i>I'm gonna burn this down
- till my brain's a kernel.</i>
- 2315
- 01:54:41,380 --> 01:54:45,532
- <i>Dr. Finnegan, so epicurean
- Indulge in the BMOC.</i>
- 2316
- 01:54:45,620 --> 01:54:47,895
- <i>There's only one thing bigger than my IQ.</i>
- 2317
- 01:54:47,980 --> 01:54:49,936
- <i>And it stops around my knee.</i>
- 2318
- 01:54:50,020 --> 01:54:52,409
- <i>Let me drop a Finnegism
- and make a Finnegasm.</i>
- 2319
- 01:54:52,500 --> 01:54:54,377
- <i>Expand the universe
- Make it shudder and spasm</i>
- 2320
- 01:54:54,460 --> 01:54:55,716
- <i>'Cause when you party like a savage.</i>
- 2321
- 01:54:55,740 --> 01:54:56,775
- <i>Speak like a poet.</i>
- 2322
- 01:54:56,860 --> 01:54:59,215
- <i>You cha-chao
- before you even know it.</i>
- 2323
- 01:54:59,340 --> 01:55:00,516
- <i>Hey, guys
- The name's Alex Brumley</i>
- 2324
- 01:55:00,540 --> 01:55:01,636
- <i>I'm gonna break it to you fresh.</i>
- 2325
- 01:55:01,660 --> 01:55:02,716
- <i>All the guys around here punch me</i>
- 2326
- 01:55:02,740 --> 01:55:03,876
- <i>'Cause they know that I'm the best.</i>
- 2327
- 01:55:03,900 --> 01:55:04,916
- <i>It's my first days of college</i>
- 2328
- 01:55:04,940 --> 01:55:05,975
- <i>I'm just trying to fit in.</i>
- 2329
- 01:55:06,060 --> 01:55:08,176
- <i>So won't you come with me
- and please be my friend?</i>
- 2330
- 01:55:08,260 --> 01:55:10,455
- - Please?
- - Brumley, shut the fuck up!
- 2331
- 01:55:11,260 --> 01:55:13,410
- <i>Now, I'm Nesbit
- No shame with no game</i>
- 2332
- 01:55:13,500 --> 01:55:15,236
- <i>I'm throwing money down
- the drain like no thing.</i>
- 2333
- 01:55:15,260 --> 01:55:17,455
- <i>The best in a-gambling
- Nesbit's a-rambling.</i>
- 2334
- 01:55:17,580 --> 01:55:19,696
- <i>Submarine pitch
- And the Mac can't handle it.</i>
- 2335
- 01:55:19,780 --> 01:55:22,578
- <i>Cherokee chow
- Coo-coo-capow in Texas.</i>
- 2336
- 01:55:22,660 --> 01:55:24,013
- <i>With the cactus and cows.</i>
- 2337
- 01:55:24,100 --> 01:55:26,216
- <i>Amityville? More like Amity-vile.</i>
- 2338
- 01:55:26,300 --> 01:55:28,097
- <i>Sick to the bone
- but we come with style.</i>
- 2339
- 01:55:28,180 --> 01:55:30,296
- <i>So they call me Coma
- Told the girl "hop on".</i>
- 2340
- 01:55:30,420 --> 01:55:32,217
- <i>Throwing cheers to my boys</i>
- 2341
- 01:55:32,300 --> 01:55:33,580
- <i>'Cause I'm a superstitious fella.</i>
- 2342
- 01:55:33,660 --> 01:55:34,716
- <i>Known to get a little drunk.</i>
- 2343
- 01:55:34,740 --> 01:55:36,571
- <i>But I'm here to make some noise.</i>
- 2344
- 01:55:37,260 --> 01:55:39,569
- <i>Master plan for a higher man.</i>
- 2345
- 01:55:39,660 --> 01:55:41,139
- <i>Do it all wrong.</i>
- 2346
- 01:55:41,220 --> 01:55:44,417
- <i>Don't fuck it up to make it all right.</i>
- 2347
- 01:55:44,500 --> 01:55:45,500
- <i>Drink my cup.</i>
- 2348
- 01:55:45,580 --> 01:55:47,536
- <i>Schlong as long as the Nile's bong.</i>
- 2349
- 01:55:47,620 --> 01:55:49,690
- <i>Hit it, bitch, I'm 95 strong</i>
- 2350
- 01:55:49,820 --> 01:55:52,459
- <i>I'm the raw dog Rawest of raw.</i>
- 2351
- 01:55:52,540 --> 01:55:58,695
- <i>Four screwdrivers
- One fat straw, baby!</i>
- 2352
- 01:55:59,100 --> 01:56:01,330
- <i>My name's Tyrone
- but they call me Plum</i>
- 2353
- 01:56:01,420 --> 01:56:04,093
- <i>I call the whole game
- but they call me dumb.</i>
- 2354
- 01:56:04,180 --> 01:56:07,058
- <i>Beer for breakfast
- My Cap'n Crunch.</i>
- 2355
- 01:56:07,140 --> 01:56:10,177
- <i>Spread your girl's legs
- and then I have lunch.</i>
- 2356
- 01:56:10,260 --> 01:56:12,376
- <i>Well, hey, oh, hey
- This will make your day.</i>
- 2357
- 01:56:12,460 --> 01:56:14,416
- <i>Boy, they call me Billy A</i>
- 2358
- 01:56:14,500 --> 01:56:16,775
- <i>I like to chew and a-spit
- And throw a ball a little bit.</i>
- 2359
- 01:56:16,860 --> 01:56:18,896
- <i>Boy, you better stay out of my way.</i>
- 2360
- 01:56:19,100 --> 01:56:21,091
- <i>Enough with that, Jake here
- Just a chill dude</i>
- 2361
- 01:56:21,180 --> 01:56:23,330
- <i>I'll sweep you off your feet
- No need to be crude.</i>
- 2362
- 01:56:23,420 --> 01:56:25,276
- <i>If I sense any question
- I'll put you to the test.</i>
- 2363
- 01:56:25,300 --> 01:56:27,689
- <i>If it's a crime to be sexy
- then you're under arrest.</i>
- 2364
- 01:56:27,780 --> 01:56:29,532
- <i>- You talkin' to me?
- - No, can't you see?</i>
- 2365
- 01:56:29,620 --> 01:56:30,894
- <i>Well, who you talking to?</i>
- 2366
- 01:56:30,980 --> 01:56:32,049
- <i>Uh, dude, not you.</i>
- 2367
- 01:56:32,140 --> 01:56:34,017
- <i>Well, okay, dude, you kinda rude</i>
- 2368
- 01:56:34,100 --> 01:56:36,534
- <i>I ain 't really a fan of that attitude.</i>
- 2369
- 01:56:36,620 --> 01:56:38,451
- <i>As I was saying before Billy interrupted.</i>
- 2370
- 01:56:38,540 --> 01:56:39,780
- <i>We just having good times, baby.</i>
- 2371
- 01:56:39,860 --> 01:56:40,860
- <i>Nothing too corrupted.</i>
- 2372
- 01:56:40,940 --> 01:56:42,896
- <i>If you need a little insight on who I am.</i>
- 2373
- 01:56:42,980 --> 01:56:45,255
- <i>Let me break it down for you
- right now with my jam.</i>
- 2374
- 01:56:45,340 --> 01:56:47,171
- <i>Unlike Finn I don't drop to the knee</i>
- 2375
- 01:56:47,300 --> 01:56:49,416
- <i>'Cause I got a bigger secret
- I drop to my feet</i>
- 2376
- 01:56:49,500 --> 01:56:51,570
- <i>I'm the kinda guy
- that'll meet you after class.</i>
- 2377
- 01:56:51,660 --> 01:56:53,730
- <i>Take pride in my pitching
- Like Rope and his ass.</i>
- 2378
- 01:56:53,820 --> 01:56:55,936
- <i>Now, come over here
- with those luscious thighs</i>
- 2379
- 01:56:56,020 --> 01:56:58,693
- <i>I'll make you feel loved
- while Willy's getting high</i>
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