Laggish_ - Today at 10:59 PM
i have stayed up til 12 the last three nights
Luna - Today at 10:59 PM
go on then what time is it
oh wow what a trooper
Laggish_ - Today at 11:00 PM
ill just
fucking
go to bed
Luna - Today at 11:00 PM
truly marvelous effort
ive stayed up till 8am just to be with people i loved or cared about
Laggish_ - Today at 11:00 PM
luna
im going to sleep
Luna - Today at 11:01 PM
maybe im retarded for thinking anyone would do the same.
enjoy your sleep and good luck finding a new whore even though knowing you youd find one immediately
Laggish_ - Today at 11:02 PM
im not going to enjoy my sleep
i dont even know what the fuck im so mad about
did you ever love me?
did you want me around?
do you enjoy talking to me?
Luna - Today at 11:02 PM
course i did.
Laggish_ - Today at 11:02 PM
ive felt like nothing more than a bother everytime we've gotten emotional
Luna - Today at 11:02 PM
but what i feel never fucking matters in the end
to anyone
so im presented with two choices
one, i rid myself
Laggish_ - Today at 11:03 PM
if what you felt didnt fucking matter to me then i wouldn't have asked
if you meant nothing to me, i would have just closed the door in your face and let you leave
you mean
so fuckign much to me
Luna - Today at 11:03 PM
two, i turn into a cold emotionless husk of a human being.
Laggish_ - Today at 11:04 PM
and you refuse to allow me to make that more clear
im not romantic, im barely a flirt and im a horrible boyfriend
Luna - Today at 11:04 PM
which option do you think is more viable
Laggish_ - Today at 11:04 PM
i wanted nothing more than to make you feel royal and wanted
Luna - Today at 11:04 PM
one or two
Laggish_ - Today at 11:04 PM
im not picking either answer
those arent the only possible solutions
Luna - Today at 11:05 PM
they are though.
Laggish_ - Today at 11:05 PM
you have a warped sense of life and you only stare at the negative things in the eye and dont let the positive things into you
Luna - Today at 11:05 PM
ive ran through this multiple times.
Laggish_ - Today at 11:05 PM
you choose to not make friends that want to help you, you don't let me try and raise your spirits
you only insult yourself, you can't take compliments
Luna - Today at 11:06 PM
i take compliments when there's valid proof to them
Laggish_ - Today at 11:06 PM
there doesn't have to be valid proof
if someone says im good at a game i dont need them to
record me
and analyze it
Luna - Today at 11:06 PM
to me there does
Laggish_ - Today at 11:06 PM
i just say, hey thanks
even if it doesnt mean much to me
think about how that reflects you to the person complimenting you
literally 0 people on earth like saying someone is nice or sweet
and hearing
'nah im shitty'
Luna - Today at 11:07 PM
i don't care. either prove that i am or don't try complimenting me.
Laggish_ - Today at 11:07 PM
ok
Luna - Today at 11:07 PM
simple as that.
because i have plenty of proof of being shitty
none of being nice or sweet or caring or cute or fucking anything.
eitherway surprise surprise you didn't choose either answer even though one involved me not dying
Laggish_ - Today at 11:09 PM
you dying or you being a completely cold husk with no emotions
Luna - Today at 11:09 PM
wonderful life i live.
Laggish_ - Today at 11:09 PM
both of those are the worst possible outcomes
every way i try helping people hasn't even scratched your surface tonight
Luna - Today at 11:10 PM
they are the only fucking outcomes
Laggish_ - Today at 11:10 PM
do you want me to keep trying
do you even want me to just fuel your anger and hatred for yourself
Luna - Today at 11:10 PM
because these feelings
Laggish_ - Today at 11:10 PM
do you want me to just leave
Luna - Today at 11:10 PM
of depression i get
i get them because i had positive ones in the first place
i can never feel alone if i never felt coddled
i can never be sad if i never felt happy
i can never want to die if i never felt like being alive.
i get hurt because i put feelings into people.
constantly.
and constantly, those same feelings come back to bite my ass.
so what if i never put those feelings in people in the first place.
its the only way i can guarantee i wont hurt again .
either this or death.
if you truly are unable to make a decision then
just...never mind.
enjoy your sleep, wouldn't want to keep you up further because God knows you're already pushing your limit being up at midnight.
i gave you a chance to make a choice
and just like everyone else. you dont use that chance.
Laggish_ - Today at 11:16 PM
what the fuck ever luna
god im so
infuriated that you talk to me like this
as if i never was your friend
as if anything i've done has meant nothing to you
i dont care if you think staying up til midnight is weak
i have school, i have family and i have friends and i have responsibilities
staying up this late just to try and help someone who refuses to let me help them
and who wont even answer a simple question: what am i to you
is fucking bat shit insane
i dont know why im doing this
you mean so much to me but god help me if you just sit here like a god damn brick wall and don't let you help me, do NOT expect me to help you. because it is draining my energy, my happiness, and makes me feel like a fucking awful friend
i dont want you to end it
i dont want you to be a walking corpse with no life
you are a great fucking human being in my eyes and the only reason you refuse to accept that is because youre so clouded with negativity that you wont let me show you anything positive
your ex boyfriend fucked you up, i get that
but you
you just
sit on his ideals, his thoughts about you and his opinions about you
you can't even think for a second
this guy is a piece of fucking shit
he abused me and made me feel horrible
maybe
his thoughts on me arent really true
maybe
im better than how he percieved me
maybe
people enjoy talking to me and want the best out of me because im a good person with a close knit circle of friends who just want to see me happy
you have to open your eyes and let people who want to help you help you
it is impossible to be happy on your own
you cannot do shit like that alone
Luna - Today at 11:20 PM
except unlike you. and everyone else who tries pointing out something positive about me and has no evidence. he had evidence for everything negative.
Laggish_ - Today at 11:20 PM
he made shit up and made you think everything was true
its so easy to believe youre a worthless individual when you have tiny residual ideas of that in the back of your head
Luna - Today at 11:21 PM
he didnt make shit up.
Laggish_ - Today at 11:21 PM
you've let it bog your mind up to the point where you cant even begin to fathom a good quality about yourself
im
not
doing this
Luna - Today at 11:21 PM
id go into every minute detail
Laggish_ - Today at 11:21 PM
im getting water and going to bed
im turning my phone off
Luna - Today at 11:21 PM
haha.
giving up on me
just like he did.
go ahead then.
Laggish_ - Today at 11:22 PM
I'll also teach you something else
Apologies or not
You don't compare your partner or whatever the fuck we are
To someone else
reminder of what you said
dont fucking compare me to him
Luna - Today at 11:22 PM
dont be surprised when im not here tomorrow.
feel free to turn your phone off now.
im sure you'll feel great about doing so.
Laggish_ - Today at 11:23 PM
youre sucha negative fucking woman no wonder i feel like a pile of garbage after all of this
youve drained every ounce of energy out of me tonight
im so
stressed
im pulling my hair out
im sweaty
i cant believe im making the same fucking mistakes i made before
Luna - Today at 11:24 PM
then don't.
Laggish_ - Today at 11:24 PM
im putting all of my attention love and care into a girl who doesnt want to take it