Philophobia (2019)

1
00:00:07,775 --> 00:00:09,641
Oh, you know what?
I actually have to go

2
00:00:09,643 --> 00:00:11,543
'cause my friend Tammy's
going to be really mad.

3
00:00:11,545 --> 00:00:14,046
But, you have my number.

4
00:00:14,048 --> 00:00:16,615
- Yeah, it's Da...
- Danielle.

5
00:00:16,617 --> 00:00:19,651
Danielle, right. Yeah, maybe next
time, you can buy the drinks.

6
00:00:19,653 --> 00:00:21,253
Oh, we'll see.

7
00:00:21,255 --> 00:00:23,655
- It was good to meet you.
- Yeah, you too.

8
00:00:23,657 --> 00:00:26,058
Who the hell was that? And when
did you start talking?

9
00:00:26,060 --> 00:00:28,327
'Cause I was sitting right next
to you and then, pfft,
you were gone.

10
00:00:28,329 --> 00:00:30,162
- I'm sneaky.
- -You all were engaged, honey,

11
00:00:30,164 --> 00:00:31,530
just jabbering on and on,

12
00:00:31,532 --> 00:00:33,132
couldn't get a word in edgewise.

13
00:00:33,134 --> 00:00:36,301
- You? Never.
- He seemed nice. Well, charming.

14
00:00:36,303 --> 00:00:38,103
But then again,
charming can be deceiving

15
00:00:38,105 --> 00:00:39,605
so, but maybe you know better,

16
00:00:39,607 --> 00:00:41,140
'cause you were so
engaged with him.

17
00:00:41,142 --> 00:00:42,741
Was he? You all going to date?

18
00:00:42,743 --> 00:00:45,210
I don't know.
I don't know,

19
00:00:45,212 --> 00:00:48,514
he just seemed like a
typical LA guy, you know?

20
00:00:48,516 --> 00:00:51,450
And besides, I don't know
if I'm ready for anything

21
00:00:51,452 --> 00:00:52,751
at the moment.

22
00:00:52,753 --> 00:00:54,386
Yeah, I feel you on that.

23
00:00:54,388 --> 00:00:56,055
I mean, you did just
get out of something.

24
00:00:56,057 --> 00:00:57,656
Although, that was like
six months ago, so.

25
00:00:57,658 --> 00:00:59,391
- Oh, you're counting?
- I mean, now that I say it out

26
00:00:59,393 --> 00:01:01,260
loud, maybe it's time you
get out there and explore?

27
00:01:01,262 --> 00:01:02,694
- Okay.
- But then, again, I mean,

28
00:01:02,696 --> 00:01:04,563
being on your own can
just be so liberating.

29
00:01:04,565 --> 00:01:06,131
- Yes, it can be.
- You know, ya feel me?

30
00:01:06,133 --> 00:01:07,266
I do feel you.

31
00:01:07,268 --> 00:01:08,600
So we're splitting this Uber?

32
00:01:08,602 --> 00:01:10,302
Oh, no, actually,
I'm staying at my friend

33
00:01:10,304 --> 00:01:12,538
Julia's around the corner,
'cause Ubers add up.

34
00:01:12,540 --> 00:01:15,107
Oh, yeah. You did say that,
okay, well, good to see you,
great to see you.

35
00:01:15,109 --> 00:01:16,275
Ooh, it was so good seeing you.

36
00:01:16,277 --> 00:01:17,276
See you soon.

37
00:01:17,278 --> 00:01:18,310
Yes, I had so much fun.

38
00:01:18,312 --> 00:01:19,578
I did, too. Get home safe.

39
00:01:19,580 --> 00:01:20,579
Text me when you get home.

40
00:01:20,581 --> 00:01:22,448
I will.

41
00:02:24,411 --> 00:02:26,245
Whoa!

42
00:02:26,247 --> 00:02:28,647
- God.
- Dani, Danielle,

43
00:02:28,649 --> 00:02:30,215
you forgot your purse.

44
00:02:30,217 --> 00:02:33,152
Oh my God, I am so sorry.

45
00:02:33,154 --> 00:02:34,319
Yeah.

46
00:02:34,321 --> 00:02:36,321
Thank you.

47
00:02:36,323 --> 00:02:38,490
Yeah, you punched
me in the fucking heart.

48
00:03:01,849 --> 00:03:04,349
Really good on all
levels, actually...

49
00:03:06,353 --> 00:03:07,386
You know?

50
00:03:08,622 --> 00:03:10,556
Mm-hmm.

51
00:03:10,558 --> 00:03:14,293
Like, the first time we had real
talk we quickly communicated...

52
00:03:14,295 --> 00:03:15,594
- and it was amazing!
- Oh yeah, I'm so sorry

53
00:03:15,596 --> 00:03:17,396
about New Year's
that was so annoying.

54
00:03:17,398 --> 00:03:19,331
- No, no, no, it's okay.
- Yeah, but it was annoying.

55
00:03:19,333 --> 00:03:21,366
Stop, I just said we
killed it communicating.

56
00:03:21,368 --> 00:03:22,434
All right.

57
00:03:22,436 --> 00:03:23,835
And clearly we can be dorks

58
00:03:23,837 --> 00:03:25,704
around each other, so.

59
00:03:29,643 --> 00:03:32,778
Ew.

60
00:03:32,780 --> 00:03:34,813
I don't know
what you're talking about.

61
00:03:38,852 --> 00:03:41,353
Plus we have this thing where
it's like you can instantly

62
00:03:41,355 --> 00:03:43,488
- tell when I'm feeling off.
- Tell when you're off.

63
00:03:43,490 --> 00:03:44,890
- Stop.
- Stop.

64
00:03:44,892 --> 00:03:47,392
- Stop it, you dork!
- Stop it, you dork, ooh!

65
00:03:47,394 --> 00:03:49,328
God, you know what?
Just forget it.

66
00:03:49,330 --> 00:03:51,363
Forget it, forget it.

67
00:03:52,499 --> 00:03:54,366
I'm kidding.

68
00:03:54,368 --> 00:03:55,334
But see?

69
00:03:55,336 --> 00:04:00,405
Well, to be fair the only
reason why I could do that

70
00:04:00,407 --> 00:04:04,343
was because you brought
that up a couple times.

71
00:04:04,345 --> 00:04:07,579
- That's so gross.
- No, it's not gross.

72
00:04:07,581 --> 00:04:09,648
- I know it is. You hate it.
- No, it's not.

73
00:04:09,650 --> 00:04:11,583
I don't hate it, it's sweet.

74
00:04:11,585 --> 00:04:12,517
Mm-hmm.

75
00:04:12,519 --> 00:04:13,919
It's sweet.

76
00:04:16,323 --> 00:04:18,557
Okay, well, in that case.

77
00:04:19,893 --> 00:04:20,926
Ruhro.

78
00:04:21,895 --> 00:04:23,662
No, no ruhros.

79
00:04:24,698 --> 00:04:26,898
My mom's coming into
town this weekend

80
00:04:26,900 --> 00:04:30,936
and I told her about that
breakfast place around
the corner.

81
00:04:30,938 --> 00:04:35,307
Breakfast nook, what do...
what is a nook?

82
00:04:35,309 --> 00:04:37,643
They were always using that,
what is that?

83
00:04:38,679 --> 00:04:42,914
So, we're going to,
we're going to that place

84
00:04:42,916 --> 00:04:45,050
at like 10 on Sunday morning...

85
00:04:45,052 --> 00:04:46,818
Mm.

86
00:04:46,820 --> 00:04:47,786
For breakfast.

87
00:04:47,788 --> 00:04:48,854
And I figured since

88
00:04:48,856 --> 00:04:50,922
it's right there

89
00:04:50,924 --> 00:04:53,492
that maybe you could
come meet us?

90
00:04:54,995 --> 00:04:57,296
Umm...

91
00:04:57,298 --> 00:04:59,298
Nope, see?

92
00:04:59,300 --> 00:05:01,466
You were right not to use it.

93
00:05:01,468 --> 00:05:05,604
'Cause it just seems like
an adjacent small room

94
00:05:05,606 --> 00:05:06,838
from a larger room.

95
00:05:06,840 --> 00:05:09,741
Damien, can you meet up with us?

96
00:05:10,678 --> 00:05:12,077
Umm...

97
00:05:14,515 --> 00:05:17,349
I got to take Alan
to the airport.

98
00:05:17,351 --> 00:05:19,918
Okay, well, you said
his flight was at nine,

99
00:05:19,920 --> 00:05:22,087
so you have to drop him
off by eight at least, so...

100
00:05:22,089 --> 00:05:24,323
Wow, we got an elephant
over here.

101
00:05:24,325 --> 00:05:25,757
So.

102
00:05:25,759 --> 00:05:26,858
Memory-wise, obviously.

103
00:05:26,860 --> 00:05:27,793
Damien.

104
00:05:27,795 --> 00:05:28,727
Memory-wise.

105
00:05:28,729 --> 00:05:30,462
Oh my, come on!

106
00:05:32,933 --> 00:05:35,067
Can you see how I feel

107
00:05:35,069 --> 00:05:36,435
that morning?

108
00:05:37,538 --> 00:05:38,538
Yeah.

109
00:05:40,074 --> 00:05:42,441
Yeah, I'm sorry,
I didn't mean to

110
00:05:42,443 --> 00:05:43,942
- push it.
- No, no, no.

111
00:05:48,515 --> 00:05:51,750
I just wanted the two
people I love to meet.

112
00:05:53,420 --> 00:05:54,420
You know?

113
00:06:01,495 --> 00:06:02,527
I love you.

114
00:06:06,800 --> 00:06:07,966
Cough, cough.

115
00:06:11,939 --> 00:06:12,904
Fuck.

116
00:06:12,906 --> 00:06:18,744
Look Damien, I didn't expect
this, and at this point

117
00:06:18,746 --> 00:06:20,912
I really feel like
something needs to be done

118
00:06:20,914 --> 00:06:24,983
because I am starting
to feel nice,

119
00:06:24,985 --> 00:06:27,853
I get excited to see you, and...

120
00:06:28,756 --> 00:06:31,556
And I get that little
jolt in my stomach

121
00:06:31,558 --> 00:06:32,824
whenever you text me.

122
00:06:34,094 --> 00:06:36,828
And it feels like
high school again.

123
00:06:36,830 --> 00:06:40,599
And I wasn't expecting to
feel like high school again.

124
00:06:43,470 --> 00:06:45,604
How long have we been dating?

125
00:06:45,606 --> 00:06:47,072
- Seven months.
- Three months.

126
00:06:48,609 --> 00:06:50,509
- Seven months.
- Seven months, great.

127
00:06:50,511 --> 00:06:52,544
Put your fucking hand down.

128
00:06:54,014 --> 00:06:56,515
Look, you're... you're great,

129
00:06:57,785 --> 00:07:00,152
and we are great.

130
00:07:01,455 --> 00:07:04,756
Like the fucking connection,
the fucking communication,

131
00:07:04,758 --> 00:07:07,125
the fucking, it's all great.

132
00:07:15,636 --> 00:07:16,636
Nothing?

133
00:07:17,938 --> 00:07:18,837
Okay.

134
00:07:18,839 --> 00:07:20,138
Wait.

135
00:07:20,140 --> 00:07:21,973
Dani, come on. Please, wait.

136
00:07:21,975 --> 00:07:24,009
Just forget it,
I deserve better!

137
00:07:24,011 --> 00:07:27,846
I deserve somebody who wants
me as much as I want them,

138
00:07:27,848 --> 00:07:30,515
and you can't even
kiss me in public!

139
00:07:30,517 --> 00:07:34,186
And you know what?
It does not have to be
some whole big thing,

140
00:07:36,990 --> 00:07:38,824
it is just a brunch.

141
00:07:38,825 --> 00:07:40,659
And you know what?
I don't even have to introduce
you as my boyfriend, okay,

142
00:07:40,661 --> 00:07:42,727
because God forbid, right?

143
00:07:42,729 --> 00:07:43,829
So.

144
00:07:43,831 --> 00:07:45,096
Oh, my God.

145
00:07:47,034 --> 00:07:48,034
I'm done.

146
00:07:50,070 --> 00:07:54,973
I am... done with not knowing
where I stand with you.

147
00:07:54,975 --> 00:07:56,508
So, you know what?

148
00:07:56,510 --> 00:08:00,645
Here's your stupid
fucking spare key.

149
00:08:02,950 --> 00:08:04,049
Goddammit.

150
00:08:04,985 --> 00:08:08,220
- Please don't. Please.
- Just forget it!

151
00:08:09,523 --> 00:08:10,922
Just forget it.

152
00:08:12,926 --> 00:08:14,025
Actually,

153
00:08:14,027 --> 00:08:19,731
you should hear it,
and you should let it sink in.

154
00:08:20,934 --> 00:08:24,836
I am not a coward,
and I'm not too much of a child

155
00:08:24,838 --> 00:08:26,638
to deal with my own emotions.

156
00:08:26,640 --> 00:08:27,873
So at least I'm owning it.

157
00:08:30,077 --> 00:08:31,843
I love you, Damien.

158
00:08:34,548 --> 00:08:37,082
I love you and I feel
like such an idiot.

159
00:08:40,687 --> 00:08:44,723
So you know what?
I just hope you know
this is the last memory

160
00:08:44,725 --> 00:08:47,726
that you have of me, goodbye.

161
00:09:47,821 --> 00:09:48,853
Danielle?

162
00:10:46,179 --> 00:10:47,179
Travis?

163
00:10:48,882 --> 00:10:49,981
Hey, hey, you okay?

164
00:10:49,983 --> 00:10:50,982
Drank a lot,

165
00:10:50,984 --> 00:10:51,983
no, I just want my bed.

166
00:10:51,985 --> 00:10:53,284
Okay.

167
00:10:53,286 --> 00:10:54,886
I was about to call the police.

168
00:10:54,888 --> 00:10:56,788
All right, Johnny, I got it,
I got it.

169
00:10:56,790 --> 00:10:58,390
I was about to fucking
call the police on you.

170
00:10:58,392 --> 00:11:00,091
All right, all right,
get some rest.

171
00:11:00,093 --> 00:11:01,760
- Can we please go?
- Fashion police.

172
00:11:01,762 --> 00:11:03,695
- No argyle after Labor Day.
- Okay, okay.

173
00:12:01,955 --> 00:12:03,722
You been
together for a little bit?

174
00:12:06,359 --> 00:12:09,828
Try two years, happily married.

175
00:12:09,830 --> 00:12:12,497
Yeah, is that surprising?

176
00:12:13,433 --> 00:12:16,801
It just seems like
you guys, you start now.

177
00:12:16,803 --> 00:12:19,738
Near the beginning,
the honeymoon phase.

178
00:12:20,841 --> 00:12:24,275
Yeah, you know what?
That's because he actually
told me about his obsession

179
00:12:24,277 --> 00:12:27,011
with human flesh on our
one year anniversary.

180
00:12:27,013 --> 00:12:30,381
So you know at that point
I was kind of had to
accept it, unfortunately.

181
00:12:30,383 --> 00:12:33,518
Yeah, I just can't get
enough of it, driver.

182
00:12:33,520 --> 00:12:35,153
Stop, stop.

183
00:12:36,823 --> 00:12:38,456
- I hate you.
- I know.

184
00:12:45,866 --> 00:12:49,200
Oh, yeah, it's just
right up here.

185
00:12:49,202 --> 00:12:50,468
Great.

186
00:12:50,470 --> 00:12:55,507
It's nice to see two married
people in LA that still
look happy.

187
00:13:00,814 --> 00:13:02,013
- Hey, what's up?
- Hey.

188
00:13:02,015 --> 00:13:03,515
I made it.

189
00:13:03,517 --> 00:13:05,016
Jesus, did you get
any sleep at all?

190
00:13:05,018 --> 00:13:07,552
Ah, welcome to Hollywood.

191
00:13:07,554 --> 00:13:08,820
Thanks, buddy.

192
00:13:08,822 --> 00:13:09,921
Sorry I didn't pick you up.

193
00:13:09,923 --> 00:13:10,922
Oh, that's okay.

194
00:13:10,924 --> 00:13:11,890
Yeah, how was the Uber?

195
00:13:11,892 --> 00:13:13,158
Oh, really good actually,

196
00:13:13,160 --> 00:13:14,325
real friendly guy,
who talk about

197
00:13:14,327 --> 00:13:15,426
chandeliers, turn out he...

198
00:13:15,428 --> 00:13:16,961
Dani broke up with me.

199
00:13:20,066 --> 00:13:23,802
Yeah, then she just stormed out.

200
00:13:23,804 --> 00:13:26,237
Wow, well, it's strange.

201
00:13:26,239 --> 00:13:28,540
Yeah, it's so strange,
so strange, right?

202
00:13:28,542 --> 00:13:30,275
I was going to say it's
strange because...

203
00:13:30,277 --> 00:13:32,510
Yeah, it's strange, like
what is this, an ultimatum?

204
00:13:32,512 --> 00:13:35,146
So strange, you're not alone
with the thinking
that it's strange.

205
00:13:35,148 --> 00:13:38,149
No, what I was going to say
is that in the entire time

206
00:13:38,151 --> 00:13:40,151
you've been out here
I don't think

207
00:13:40,153 --> 00:13:43,354
you've dated anyone for
more than two months, so.

208
00:13:44,591 --> 00:13:46,491
Now that's true.

209
00:13:46,493 --> 00:13:48,459
Yeah, I just figured
you were like making up

210
00:13:48,461 --> 00:13:51,029
for lost time, or something.

211
00:13:52,365 --> 00:13:53,431
Are you going to eat?

212
00:13:53,433 --> 00:13:56,234
Oh no, I'm not hungry.

213
00:14:00,106 --> 00:14:03,174
So, what do you want to do?

214
00:14:03,176 --> 00:14:06,010
I figured we'd hit some
of the Hollywood staples,

215
00:14:06,012 --> 00:14:09,547
you know, Grauman's Chinese
Theatre, Santa Monica Pier.

216
00:14:09,549 --> 00:14:12,383
- Yeah, we can do that.
- Staples Center.

217
00:14:12,385 --> 00:14:15,887
Maybe tonight we just
stay in and chill,

218
00:14:15,889 --> 00:14:17,288
watch a movie or something?

219
00:14:18,291 --> 00:14:21,359
Yeah, sure, yeah, you must
be going through some stuff.

220
00:14:21,361 --> 00:14:24,395
Oh, no, no, no, I'm,
no, it's just,

221
00:14:24,397 --> 00:14:26,931
maybe we could catch up,
you know, I'm fine.

222
00:14:32,172 --> 00:14:34,472
<i>All right, shall we go out?</i>

223
00:14:34,474 --> 00:14:37,008
<i>Yeah, we could, we could.</i>

224
00:14:38,345 --> 00:14:40,645
I'm a little terrified to
drink right now, but yeah.

225
00:14:40,647 --> 00:14:42,046
Okay.

226
00:14:42,048 --> 00:14:43,381
Or we can just get dinner.

227
00:14:43,383 --> 00:14:45,283
Maybe we can watch
another movie?

228
00:14:48,054 --> 00:14:49,087
Sure.

229
00:14:49,089 --> 00:14:51,273
<i>You're screwing
Willy Walden, aren't you?</i>

230
00:14:51,274 --> 00:14:53,458
<i>Aren't you?</i>

231
00:14:53,460 --> 00:14:56,261
That's just like how
our breakup is.

232
00:14:56,263 --> 00:14:57,629
Yeah.

233
00:14:57,631 --> 00:14:59,063
<i>And I'm moving out of here!</i>

234
00:15:01,935 --> 00:15:03,368
See, that's it.

235
00:15:04,337 --> 00:15:06,404
You know? Like...

236
00:15:06,406 --> 00:15:09,440
Naked and at his
most vulnerable.

237
00:15:11,244 --> 00:15:12,911
Yet, she accepts him.

238
00:15:13,947 --> 00:15:17,015
Yeah, that's what we
want right there.

239
00:15:17,684 --> 00:15:21,152
I mean, Sara was cheating
on him before,

240
00:15:21,154 --> 00:15:23,421
so it's like different
circumstances, but.

241
00:15:23,423 --> 00:15:25,323
Yeah, right, exactly.

242
00:15:25,325 --> 00:15:26,557
I guess I know what you mean.

243
00:15:26,559 --> 00:15:28,026
You get it, you get it.

244
00:15:29,462 --> 00:15:32,163
All right, well what
do you want to do now?

245
00:15:32,165 --> 00:15:34,198
I don't know, man,
I'm kind of wiped.

246
00:15:34,200 --> 00:15:35,700
I think I'm going
to hit the hay.

247
00:15:35,702 --> 00:15:36,668
Okay.

248
00:15:36,670 --> 00:15:39,037
But, I really want to see

249
00:15:39,039 --> 00:15:41,506
some stuff tomorrow, please.

250
00:15:41,508 --> 00:15:43,241
Sure, sure. Um...

251
00:15:44,210 --> 00:15:47,578
Oh, if you wake up
before me I have a...

252
00:15:51,451 --> 00:15:52,417
I have a spare key,

253
00:15:52,419 --> 00:15:54,252
there's a coffee shop

254
00:15:54,254 --> 00:15:56,154
two blocks from here.

255
00:15:58,091 --> 00:15:59,190
What are you doing?

256
00:15:59,192 --> 00:16:00,458
I have a spare bedroom just

257
00:16:00,460 --> 00:16:01,726
down the hall here.

258
00:16:09,369 --> 00:16:11,636
I feel good, man,
I feel optimistic.

259
00:16:11,638 --> 00:16:12,638
Great, man.

260
00:16:13,440 --> 00:16:14,440
Yeah.

261
00:16:20,046 --> 00:16:21,279
Hope you get some rest.

262
00:16:22,148 --> 00:16:23,148
You too.

263
00:16:29,389 --> 00:16:31,055
Cool, good night.

264
00:16:31,057 --> 00:16:32,156
Good night.

265
00:18:15,128 --> 00:18:18,129
I just figured 'cause
there's... there's no bouncer.

266
00:18:21,468 --> 00:18:23,101
Nope, nope.

267
00:18:23,103 --> 00:18:25,203
What can I get for you?

268
00:18:26,606 --> 00:18:29,240
I think I'm going to try
one of those amber ales,

269
00:18:31,611 --> 00:18:33,171
the Famous Amber Ale
you got over there.

270
00:18:36,416 --> 00:18:38,149
- Ooh.
- That'll be seven, please.

271
00:18:38,151 --> 00:18:39,383
Okay, great.

272
00:18:40,386 --> 00:18:42,487
- You can keep it open.
- What?

273
00:18:42,489 --> 00:18:45,323
I just said you can go
ahead and keep that open.

274
00:18:48,461 --> 00:18:52,330
Hey, you should go
ahead and drink up

275
00:18:52,332 --> 00:18:54,398
because there's a painting
in the bathroom

276
00:18:54,400 --> 00:18:55,533
with boobies on it.

277
00:18:56,803 --> 00:18:58,836
Oh, all right.

278
00:19:10,783 --> 00:19:11,816
Dah!

279
00:19:12,852 --> 00:19:15,153
This amber ale's amazing.

280
00:19:39,712 --> 00:19:42,647
So, this is like
a school night or something?

281
00:19:42,649 --> 00:19:45,183
Why do you continue to talk?

282
00:20:07,907 --> 00:20:11,242
I wasn't shooting
myself because of you.

283
00:20:12,445 --> 00:20:13,778
What?

284
00:20:13,780 --> 00:20:14,845
The pantomime, I wasn't

285
00:20:14,847 --> 00:20:16,214
shooting myself in the head

286
00:20:16,216 --> 00:20:17,415
because you looked up at me.

287
00:20:17,417 --> 00:20:19,217
I was pretending to be you while

288
00:20:19,219 --> 00:20:20,551
that other guy was
talking to you.

289
00:20:20,553 --> 00:20:21,819
Ah.

290
00:20:21,821 --> 00:20:23,421
So, you live around here?

291
00:20:23,423 --> 00:20:25,263
I'm not going to tell
you where I live.

292
00:20:26,292 --> 00:20:27,959
Let me rephrase,

293
00:20:27,961 --> 00:20:30,995
do you frequent this
establishment?

294
00:20:30,997 --> 00:20:33,297
Sure.

295
00:20:33,299 --> 00:20:34,299
So?

296
00:20:36,469 --> 00:20:37,469
Carol.

297
00:20:38,438 --> 00:20:39,937
Carol, I'm Jeff.

298
00:20:41,507 --> 00:20:44,675
So what's the deal
with all the...

299
00:20:44,677 --> 00:20:46,777
Can I get a whiskey over here?

300
00:20:46,779 --> 00:20:49,247
What is up, dame?

301
00:20:49,249 --> 00:20:50,881
Wait, what did you just call me?

302
00:20:50,883 --> 00:20:52,817
Da man.

303
00:20:52,819 --> 00:20:55,519
Oh, okay, for a second
there I thought

304
00:20:55,521 --> 00:20:58,656
you actually said
my actual name,

305
00:20:58,658 --> 00:21:00,458
like you memorized the
license or something.

306
00:21:01,861 --> 00:21:04,595
Da man yeah, da man,
yeah, that's funny.

307
00:21:04,597 --> 00:21:06,030
Actually, I thought
you were a girl when

308
00:21:06,032 --> 00:21:08,933
you're asking for
a drink so I said, dame,

309
00:21:08,935 --> 00:21:11,302
if I'm being honest.

310
00:21:13,439 --> 00:21:19,677
Oh, okay, I think I liked
the other version better,

311
00:21:19,679 --> 00:21:22,413
but nonetheless,
what's your name?

312
00:21:22,415 --> 00:21:23,614
The.

313
00:21:24,550 --> 00:21:27,551
I'm sorry, The, The,
what's the last name?

314
00:21:27,553 --> 00:21:28,919
Bartender.

315
00:21:30,490 --> 00:21:31,989
Oh, all right.

316
00:21:33,893 --> 00:21:35,693
Well, I guess there's
not a lot of wiggle room

317
00:21:35,695 --> 00:21:37,828
in career paths, huh?

318
00:21:37,830 --> 00:21:38,996
Damien.

319
00:21:38,998 --> 00:21:40,665
What can I get you?

320
00:21:40,667 --> 00:21:45,002
I'm going to have a whiskey,
hold the rocks,

321
00:21:46,739 --> 00:21:48,439
double style.

322
00:21:48,441 --> 00:21:49,974
So, double whiskey neat.

323
00:21:51,811 --> 00:21:53,711
- Yes.
- Okay.

324
00:21:57,817 --> 00:22:01,052
Thank you, the tab's Booster.

325
00:22:13,499 --> 00:22:14,565
Are you okay?

326
00:22:14,567 --> 00:22:15,666
- Yeah, sorry.
- Here.

327
00:22:15,668 --> 00:22:17,435
No, no, you're fine.

328
00:22:17,437 --> 00:22:20,504
Well, well, Prince Charming, eh?

329
00:22:21,974 --> 00:22:23,507
- Aw.
- I want one.

330
00:22:28,381 --> 00:22:30,514
You guys need to
be quiet 'cause my guest
is sleeping.

331
00:22:30,516 --> 00:22:33,017
Oh, we'll be quiet.

332
00:22:34,120 --> 00:22:36,120
This place is nice.

333
00:22:36,122 --> 00:22:37,421
Yeah, it's all right.

334
00:22:37,423 --> 00:22:39,590
No, I like it! Right, Becca?

335
00:22:39,592 --> 00:22:40,958
Yeah, I mean, it's really...

336
00:22:40,960 --> 00:22:42,360
Fuck!

337
00:22:42,362 --> 00:22:44,795
This whiskey is amazing.

338
00:22:44,797 --> 00:22:46,697
It's so smooth.

339
00:22:46,699 --> 00:22:47,965
I mean, it's all right, I guess.

340
00:22:47,967 --> 00:22:49,400
It so smooth, right, Becca?

341
00:22:49,402 --> 00:22:50,801
I mean, I haven't tried it.

342
00:22:50,803 --> 00:22:51,936
It's so smooth.

343
00:22:51,938 --> 00:22:53,671
None of that dragon throat

344
00:22:53,673 --> 00:22:55,606
shit for us, guy.

345
00:22:55,608 --> 00:22:57,508
Dragon what now?

346
00:22:57,510 --> 00:22:59,777
Fuck yeah, this guy.

347
00:23:01,381 --> 00:23:04,715
Not for this guy, I mean.

348
00:23:04,717 --> 00:23:05,883
Woo!

349
00:23:08,054 --> 00:23:12,523
- What the fuck bullshit
are you saying?
- I'm not.

350
00:23:12,525 --> 00:23:14,625
You know, you really chased us,
didn't you?

351
00:23:14,627 --> 00:23:15,626
Chased is a bit...

352
00:23:15,628 --> 00:23:16,994
Yeah, you stalked us up.

353
00:23:16,996 --> 00:23:19,497
I mean the shoe fell off.

354
00:23:19,499 --> 00:23:23,534
I'm fucking with you dude,
we like you.

355
00:23:23,536 --> 00:23:24,468
Right, Becca?

356
00:23:24,470 --> 00:23:25,569
Yeah, I mean...

357
00:23:25,571 --> 00:23:26,771
I mean, we were like flirting

358
00:23:26,773 --> 00:23:27,772
from a distance

359
00:23:27,774 --> 00:23:29,840
for like awhile.

360
00:23:29,842 --> 00:23:32,543
Right, well, that's
what I was saying.

361
00:23:32,545 --> 00:23:34,445
Right, that's what I was saying.

362
00:23:36,516 --> 00:23:38,783
Man, you are, you're funny,
you know that?

363
00:23:38,785 --> 00:23:40,818
- I mean...
- You are.

364
00:23:40,820 --> 00:23:42,686
You know that, right?

365
00:23:44,457 --> 00:23:45,589
Do you want a bump?

366
00:23:45,591 --> 00:23:46,757
No, I'm okay.

367
00:23:46,759 --> 00:23:48,893
Oh God, look at this place,

368
00:23:48,895 --> 00:23:50,161
it's so swanky.

369
00:23:50,163 --> 00:23:52,696
For a two bedroom, Jesus.

370
00:23:52,698 --> 00:23:54,498
I mean, it's an apartment.

371
00:23:54,500 --> 00:23:55,900
You know, you like
saying that a lot.

372
00:23:55,902 --> 00:23:57,868
- What?
- I mean.

373
00:23:57,870 --> 00:24:00,070
- I do?
- Yeah, are you?

374
00:24:00,072 --> 00:24:01,639
- Am I?
- Mean.

375
00:24:02,608 --> 00:24:04,842
- Wait, what?
- It's not a hard question.

376
00:24:05,912 --> 00:24:09,447
Oh, oh God, oh, oh, oh God,

377
00:24:09,449 --> 00:24:11,649
do you have a bathroom?

378
00:24:11,651 --> 00:24:13,217
Yeah, right down the
hallway to the right.

379
00:24:13,219 --> 00:24:15,019
- Can I use it?
- Yep.

380
00:24:15,021 --> 00:24:17,221
Yep.

381
00:24:17,223 --> 00:24:18,956
Gotcha!

382
00:24:18,958 --> 00:24:21,492
You are so gullible.

383
00:24:21,494 --> 00:24:23,160
Oh, God.

384
00:24:23,162 --> 00:24:25,663
Man, I love this hallway.

385
00:24:27,033 --> 00:24:28,532
It's so smooth!

386
00:24:41,747 --> 00:24:42,747
Hey.

387
00:24:44,584 --> 00:24:45,584
Hello.

388
00:25:02,635 --> 00:25:03,834
Your place is nice.

389
00:25:03,836 --> 00:25:08,806
I mean, maybe not as smooth
as she says it is, but...

390
00:25:08,808 --> 00:25:10,248
Yeah, like I said,
it's an apartment.

391
00:25:12,979 --> 00:25:15,279
That bar is cool,
first time I'd been.

392
00:25:16,282 --> 00:25:17,648
Yeah, at that bar?

393
00:25:18,618 --> 00:25:21,118
You know I came up
with the shoe idea,

394
00:25:21,988 --> 00:25:23,153
shoe doesn't just fall off.

395
00:25:24,857 --> 00:25:25,923
Figured.

396
00:25:25,925 --> 00:25:28,626
Yeah, Prince Charming,

397
00:25:28,628 --> 00:25:31,996
you know I always loved
that movie.

398
00:25:31,998 --> 00:25:35,633
And I mean,
you did pick up my shoe, so.

399
00:25:35,635 --> 00:25:37,134
Then it works.

400
00:25:37,136 --> 00:25:39,270
You know, she's crazy.

401
00:25:39,272 --> 00:25:41,238
She's out for the fun of it all.

402
00:25:41,240 --> 00:25:42,973
It seems that way.

403
00:25:42,975 --> 00:25:45,309
But I was the one who saw
you and pointed you out.

404
00:25:46,145 --> 00:25:49,213
I thought you were so
charismatic and confident.

405
00:25:49,215 --> 00:25:52,883
Told her, let's take
him back to our place

406
00:25:52,885 --> 00:25:54,184
and let him line us up naked.

407
00:25:55,555 --> 00:25:56,787
What's this shit

408
00:25:56,789 --> 00:25:58,289
you're listening to?

409
00:25:58,291 --> 00:26:00,724
Oh no, no, no.

410
00:26:03,796 --> 00:26:05,696
Actually, Becca.

411
00:26:05,698 --> 00:26:07,164
Come here. Come here!

412
00:27:18,771 --> 00:27:22,006
All right, you ready,
charming prince?

413
00:27:22,008 --> 00:27:23,774
Were you guys both
in the bathroom?

414
00:27:23,776 --> 00:27:25,075
Did you miss us?

415
00:27:29,315 --> 00:27:31,181
What the fuck was that?

416
00:27:31,183 --> 00:27:33,183
It was the neighbor, were you
guys both in the bathroom?

417
00:27:33,185 --> 00:27:36,320
Fuck off, dude, we're trying
to have a threesome here!

418
00:27:45,831 --> 00:27:47,131
You coming, Nancy boy?

419
00:27:47,133 --> 00:27:48,032
Come on.

420
00:27:48,034 --> 00:27:50,267
Nancy boy.

421
00:27:50,269 --> 00:27:52,670
Oh shit, that's my name.

422
00:27:52,672 --> 00:27:53,737
What the fuck?

423
00:27:53,739 --> 00:27:55,105
I never thought of that.

424
00:27:56,409 --> 00:27:58,342
Come on.

425
00:28:02,948 --> 00:28:04,381
Come on!

426
00:28:05,918 --> 00:28:08,252
Join in.

427
00:28:10,890 --> 00:28:13,957
I'm going to sit down
for a minute.

428
00:29:24,230 --> 00:29:27,498
Well, well, well, you realize
winter isn't over, right?

429
00:29:29,135 --> 00:29:31,168
I'm surprised you're
not still hibernating.

430
00:29:31,170 --> 00:29:32,936
All right, it's good
to see you, man.

431
00:29:32,938 --> 00:29:34,538
Good to see you, player.

432
00:29:34,540 --> 00:29:37,007
Now, this place isn't
the swankiest but,

433
00:29:37,009 --> 00:29:39,443
the girls here are fire.

434
00:29:39,445 --> 00:29:41,078
After you, bud.

435
00:29:41,080 --> 00:29:45,249
Oh my gosh, you were so right,
going out tonight was going to
be a total crap shoot.

436
00:29:45,251 --> 00:29:46,483
- A shit show.
- Staying in was weird,

437
00:29:46,485 --> 00:29:48,519
not going to lie,
but I loved it.

438
00:29:48,521 --> 00:29:50,454
It was quaint, and desolate.

439
00:29:50,456 --> 00:29:52,055
- But we're going out next year.
- All right.

440
00:29:52,057 --> 00:29:53,423
But you know pizza, ice cream,

441
00:29:53,425 --> 00:29:55,292
and champagne with my girl

442
00:29:55,294 --> 00:29:59,129
was just so, you know,
mm, it was just so...

443
00:29:59,131 --> 00:30:00,130
Perfect.

444
00:30:00,132 --> 00:30:02,132
Deca... ooh, whoa.

445
00:30:02,134 --> 00:30:04,001
Have you seen Jennifer's IG?

446
00:30:04,003 --> 00:30:06,804
- No, why?
- She's like sucking face with

447
00:30:06,806 --> 00:30:09,006
twins, twins, Dani.

448
00:30:09,008 --> 00:30:12,009
- They're like models.
- Oh, my God, he's cute.

449
00:30:12,011 --> 00:30:13,877
- That's gross.
- They're cute.

450
00:30:13,879 --> 00:30:15,345
But also kind of hot.

451
00:30:15,347 --> 00:30:17,014
I don't know, like why would

452
00:30:17,016 --> 00:30:21,185
a brother and a brother, like...

453
00:30:23,289 --> 00:30:24,555
- Seriously!
- Oh, my God!

454
00:30:24,557 --> 00:30:25,923
Tammy, I love you.

455
00:30:25,925 --> 00:30:27,391
OMG, I love you.

456
00:30:27,393 --> 00:30:28,926
- Happy New Year's.
- Happy New Year, babe.

457
00:30:28,928 --> 00:30:31,895
This is our year,
I feel it in my bones.

458
00:30:31,897 --> 00:30:33,931
Not mine, 'cause
I'm chunking up that

459
00:30:33,933 --> 00:30:36,200
white chocolate chunk
on-dairy and gluten-free carbs

460
00:30:36,202 --> 00:30:37,167
in your bushes.

461
00:30:37,169 --> 00:30:38,268
- Oh?
- Yeah.

462
00:30:38,270 --> 00:30:39,403
It's that kind of year? Okay.

463
00:30:39,405 --> 00:30:40,605
Yeah, it is that kind of year.

464
00:30:41,907 --> 00:30:43,207
Are you okay?

465
00:30:44,276 --> 00:30:48,212
Oh my gosh okay, go, go,
go, go, go, get home safe.

466
00:30:48,214 --> 00:30:49,694
I'll text you when I get home.

467
00:31:24,083 --> 00:31:26,283
Becca, Becca, Becca,
Becca, Becca, Becca!

468
00:31:28,320 --> 00:31:30,220
Oh, thank God.

469
00:31:34,560 --> 00:31:35,893
Oh, shit.

470
00:31:37,897 --> 00:31:39,630
Little adorable Becca.

471
00:31:43,402 --> 00:31:45,269
Little Becca.

472
00:31:48,407 --> 00:31:49,439
Oh, fuck.

473
00:31:51,343 --> 00:31:52,343
Fuck.

474
00:31:58,584 --> 00:32:01,184
This is my best friend.

475
00:32:03,222 --> 00:32:04,187
Hi, I'm Jennifer.

476
00:32:04,189 --> 00:32:05,489
Oh, fuck!

477
00:32:09,962 --> 00:32:10,962
Damien.

478
00:32:11,697 --> 00:32:13,630
Hey, Damien.

479
00:32:13,632 --> 00:32:16,366
Hey, man, Bob's pretty pissed.

480
00:32:16,368 --> 00:32:20,070
Aw, man, aw, what time is it?

481
00:32:20,072 --> 00:32:21,571
I heard you scream.

482
00:32:22,608 --> 00:32:27,344
Yeah, that was the knock,
it startled me a little bit.

483
00:32:27,346 --> 00:32:30,047
Yeah, it was before I knocked.

484
00:32:30,049 --> 00:32:31,081
Was it?

485
00:32:31,083 --> 00:32:32,249
Yeah.

486
00:32:32,251 --> 00:32:35,252
Yeah, oh, I stubbed my toe.

487
00:32:35,254 --> 00:32:36,620
Were you sleep walking?

488
00:32:38,691 --> 00:32:42,025
No, my buddy, he's crashing
here, and he got up

489
00:32:42,027 --> 00:32:43,727
without his glasses,
he was all disoriented

490
00:32:43,729 --> 00:32:45,262
going to the bathroom, so.

491
00:32:45,264 --> 00:32:48,265
So your buddy stubbed
his toe then?

492
00:32:48,267 --> 00:32:50,033
Yeah.

493
00:32:50,035 --> 00:32:55,372
No, no, sorry, he got up
without glasses, disoriented,

494
00:32:55,374 --> 00:32:57,441
going to the bathroom and
then I walked in a big hole.

495
00:32:57,443 --> 00:32:58,608
It's none of my business,
all right?

496
00:32:58,610 --> 00:33:00,277
- Whole thing.
- I just...

497
00:33:01,747 --> 00:33:04,348
Bob's pretty pissed about
the noise, okay?

498
00:33:04,350 --> 00:33:06,750
Well, Bob can suck a dick.

499
00:33:06,752 --> 00:33:09,219
Come on, just be mindful.

500
00:33:09,221 --> 00:33:10,221
Mindful?

501
00:33:11,357 --> 00:33:13,156
- Yes.
- I don't want my buddy's

502
00:33:13,158 --> 00:33:15,392
one and only trip to Hollywood

503
00:33:15,394 --> 00:33:19,296
to be fucking ruined
because Bob is being a baby.

504
00:33:19,298 --> 00:33:21,064
You know what's weird, Greg?

505
00:33:21,066 --> 00:33:25,302
Is I have met every single
person in this complex,

506
00:33:25,304 --> 00:33:30,741
I have yet to see
my neighbor, Bob.

507
00:33:32,578 --> 00:33:34,311
What is that all about?

508
00:33:34,313 --> 00:33:36,380
- Who the hell is Bob?
- Bob's your neighbor,

509
00:33:36,382 --> 00:33:38,415
I don't know what else to say.

510
00:33:38,417 --> 00:33:42,019
Oh right, well, I think
you're missing my point, but...

511
00:33:42,021 --> 00:33:45,055
I just want you to keep it down

512
00:33:45,057 --> 00:33:47,591
so Bob doesn't call the cops,
and I don't have to come

513
00:33:47,593 --> 00:33:49,559
bang on your door at three
in the morning, okay?

514
00:33:49,561 --> 00:33:51,361
Okay.

515
00:33:51,363 --> 00:33:53,430
- That's fair, right?
- Yeah, yeah.

516
00:33:53,432 --> 00:33:55,165
Bullshit!

517
00:33:56,568 --> 00:33:58,735
Oh, man.

518
00:33:58,737 --> 00:34:01,038
- Hey, listen, man.
- It's late, so we were just...

519
00:34:01,040 --> 00:34:03,607
It's none of my business or
anything, but I kind

520
00:34:03,609 --> 00:34:07,244
of heard and saw Dani like
storm off last night.

521
00:34:09,715 --> 00:34:11,114
What?

522
00:34:11,116 --> 00:34:12,783
Yeah, and I want you to know

523
00:34:12,785 --> 00:34:14,684
I'm sorry, all right?

524
00:34:14,686 --> 00:34:17,120
I'm your friend if you
need anyone to talk to.

525
00:34:17,122 --> 00:34:18,822
I don't want to see you
drowning your sorrows

526
00:34:18,824 --> 00:34:21,324
in meaningless hookups, or
whatever you're doing in there.

527
00:34:22,761 --> 00:34:26,163
No, no, I'm... no.

528
00:34:26,165 --> 00:34:28,832
Yes, okay.

529
00:34:28,834 --> 00:34:32,769
Before you start talking
with this next time

530
00:34:32,771 --> 00:34:34,604
you can talk to me with this.

531
00:34:36,341 --> 00:34:39,743
Thanks, Greg, appreciate it,
I'm okay, I'm good.

532
00:34:39,745 --> 00:34:41,711
- Okay, I'm here,
I'm your friend.
- I'm going to get some rest.

533
00:34:41,713 --> 00:34:43,780
Thank you, thank you,
appreciate that.

534
00:34:43,782 --> 00:34:45,449
- Goodnight.
- I'm going to go right

535
00:34:45,451 --> 00:34:46,616
to bed, you should too.

536
00:35:44,476 --> 00:35:45,842
- Hey.
- Hey, Damien?

537
00:35:45,844 --> 00:35:47,511
Yeah, yeah, I mean
yeah, I called you.

538
00:35:47,513 --> 00:35:50,480
I found this girl on
the sidewalk passed out

539
00:35:50,482 --> 00:35:52,516
and I've been drinking.

540
00:35:54,786 --> 00:35:58,155
So, I was thinking I
would give you 40 bucks

541
00:35:58,157 --> 00:36:01,424
and she has her keys and you
just put her in her room.

542
00:36:02,928 --> 00:36:04,427
What are we supposed
to do you know,

543
00:36:04,429 --> 00:36:06,429
like leave her on the sidewalk?

544
00:36:08,300 --> 00:36:09,866
No, I don't...

545
00:36:12,538 --> 00:36:13,803
Come on.

546
00:36:13,805 --> 00:36:14,805
No.

547
00:36:17,342 --> 00:36:20,477
- All right.
- All right. Okay.

548
00:36:20,479 --> 00:36:22,245
Okay, you have my info, right?

549
00:36:22,247 --> 00:36:24,548
Text me when it's all done.

550
00:36:26,251 --> 00:36:29,419
Watch out, that's, random girl.

551
00:36:29,421 --> 00:36:30,754
There you go.

552
00:36:32,791 --> 00:36:34,925
Okay, awesome.

553
00:36:34,927 --> 00:36:38,762
You know, we're doing a
good thing here, right?

554
00:36:38,764 --> 00:36:40,297
Okay.

555
00:37:05,757 --> 00:37:07,857
Morning buddy,
slept like a rock. I'm going

556
00:37:07,859 --> 00:37:10,493
to get us some coffees and we'll
see some Hollywood bullshit?

557
00:37:10,495 --> 00:37:11,661
Cool.

558
00:37:11,663 --> 00:37:12,929
Yes!

559
00:38:03,515 --> 00:38:05,482
Like, posting left and right.

560
00:38:05,484 --> 00:38:07,050
I really wouldn't
read into that.

561
00:38:07,052 --> 00:38:10,553
She's all happy
out and about doing things.

562
00:38:10,555 --> 00:38:13,823
Dude, you of all people should
know that what you post online
isn't always what reality is.

563
00:38:13,825 --> 00:38:17,727
You of all people should know
what you post online isn't...

564
00:38:17,729 --> 00:38:19,496
Buddy, you are number 58

565
00:38:19,498 --> 00:38:21,731
on the podcast charts,
that's awesome.

566
00:38:21,733 --> 00:38:23,633
Maybe you should go to
brunch, just show up,

567
00:38:23,635 --> 00:38:25,502
show that you care,
all will be fine.

568
00:38:34,746 --> 00:38:36,813
Ever feel like you're like...

569
00:38:38,083 --> 00:38:44,521
just going to wake up one day
alone, old, thinking like...

570
00:38:45,557 --> 00:38:48,358
I was just at prom with Carol.

571
00:38:48,360 --> 00:38:51,461
No, because Carol and I
didn't go to the prom.

572
00:38:51,463 --> 00:38:53,396
I think there's something
seriously wrong with me.

573
00:38:53,398 --> 00:38:55,865
Like, I'm seeing things,

574
00:38:57,703 --> 00:39:00,770
or maybe they're real, I don't
know, I don't know, I just...

575
00:39:01,606 --> 00:39:03,473
I feel like my past is
going to catch up to me

576
00:39:03,475 --> 00:39:05,742
and it's going to
kill me, literally.

577
00:39:07,112 --> 00:39:09,579
Like I'm going to
wake up a corpse.

578
00:39:09,581 --> 00:39:11,581
Wake up a corpse?

579
00:39:11,583 --> 00:39:13,650
Buddy, those things cancel
each other out.

580
00:39:13,652 --> 00:39:15,518
You of all people should
resonate with that.

581
00:39:15,520 --> 00:39:16,686
Well, how is that?

582
00:39:19,524 --> 00:39:21,057
Living in Otero County.

583
00:39:21,059 --> 00:39:23,093
Buddy, I like Otero County.

584
00:39:24,896 --> 00:39:26,396
That's it.

585
00:39:26,398 --> 00:39:28,431
What's it?

586
00:39:28,433 --> 00:39:30,700
I'm going to record you
on the podcast.

587
00:39:30,702 --> 00:39:32,635
No, I don't think that's
a good idea.

588
00:39:32,637 --> 00:39:34,671
Yes, yes, it's
a great idea, buddy.

589
00:39:38,110 --> 00:39:39,809
Yeah!

590
00:39:39,811 --> 00:39:41,077
All right.

591
00:39:42,814 --> 00:39:44,080
We're all set up here.

592
00:39:45,617 --> 00:39:47,884
- Don't be nervous.
- No, no, just a little

593
00:39:47,886 --> 00:39:48,952
strange being here.

594
00:39:48,954 --> 00:39:50,019
Yeah, you'll be fine, you've

595
00:39:50,021 --> 00:39:51,388
listened to my show before?

596
00:39:51,390 --> 00:39:53,056
Of course, yeah.

597
00:39:53,058 --> 00:39:55,158
Just be real, you know?

598
00:39:55,160 --> 00:39:56,826
- Authentic.
- All right, I get that,

599
00:39:56,828 --> 00:39:57,994
- I just...
- That's all.

600
00:39:57,996 --> 00:39:59,496
Okay.

601
00:40:02,934 --> 00:40:05,869
Thank you for tuning in,
we are Reality TV,

602
00:40:05,871 --> 00:40:07,737
I am your hose Damien Booster,

603
00:40:07,739 --> 00:40:09,139
we are reality talking voices,

604
00:40:09,141 --> 00:40:11,841
real people, real thoughts,
no bullshit.

605
00:40:11,843 --> 00:40:13,843
Today we have a special guest
all the way from

606
00:40:13,845 --> 00:40:16,546
my hometown, Otero County,
New Mexico.

607
00:40:16,548 --> 00:40:18,081
He happens to be the manager

608
00:40:18,083 --> 00:40:20,550
of The Heart of the
Desert Pistachio Ranch.

609
00:40:20,552 --> 00:40:22,585
- What's that all about?
- Well, we have a selection of

610
00:40:22,587 --> 00:40:24,521
all-natural,
homegrown pistachios

611
00:40:24,523 --> 00:40:26,055
and fine wines, we also

612
00:40:26,057 --> 00:40:27,624
have award winning cheeses.

613
00:40:27,626 --> 00:40:30,059
Did we stop?
What, what happened?

614
00:40:30,061 --> 00:40:32,028
Did I do something wrong?

615
00:40:32,030 --> 00:40:34,998
No, no, no, you're
good, it's just...

616
00:40:35,000 --> 00:40:37,734
It's not like raw or
gritty, so I'm just.

617
00:40:38,670 --> 00:40:42,972
Okay I got it, what is
the craziest customer

618
00:40:42,974 --> 00:40:45,608
you've ever dealt with
at the ranch?

619
00:40:45,610 --> 00:40:50,480
Okay, yeah, this one guy,
he got really drunk,

620
00:40:50,482 --> 00:40:52,515
he had a whole bottle
of wine on the patio,

621
00:40:52,517 --> 00:40:55,985
and then he started drunkenly
tossing the pistachio shells

622
00:40:55,987 --> 00:40:57,687
on the counter by
the cash register.

623
00:40:57,689 --> 00:40:59,522
And Natalie's like
whoa, whoa, whoa.

624
00:40:59,524 --> 00:41:01,891
Whoa, whoa, whoa, what
the shit is that?

625
00:41:01,893 --> 00:41:03,092
No good?

626
00:41:03,094 --> 00:41:04,994
A guy starts throwing pistachio

627
00:41:04,996 --> 00:41:06,563
shells on the counter,
that's terrible.

628
00:41:06,565 --> 00:41:07,630
Well you didn't let me finish.

629
00:41:07,632 --> 00:41:08,798
It became this whole scene,

630
00:41:08,800 --> 00:41:10,099
- the place was packed.
- No,

631
00:41:10,101 --> 00:41:11,668
- that's awful.
- A fight it's broke out.

632
00:41:11,670 --> 00:41:13,069
That's awful, but...

633
00:41:16,708 --> 00:41:19,075
What's the craziest thing you

634
00:41:19,077 --> 00:41:21,110
and your lady do in the bedroom?

635
00:41:22,981 --> 00:41:24,881
I'm not answering that.

636
00:41:26,017 --> 00:41:27,150
Why?

637
00:41:27,152 --> 00:41:29,252
Are you afraid of getting real?

638
00:41:29,254 --> 00:41:31,187
No, I'm not, I just...

639
00:41:32,757 --> 00:41:36,493
Gah, come on dude, we had
something good going there.

640
00:41:36,495 --> 00:41:37,994
- I don't love that.
- Why?

641
00:41:37,996 --> 00:41:39,562
Because it's way too personal.

642
00:41:39,564 --> 00:41:40,763
But that's what this show is,

643
00:41:40,765 --> 00:41:42,065
it's all about being personal.

644
00:41:42,067 --> 00:41:44,501
Yes, and I get that,
I love that,

645
00:41:44,503 --> 00:41:45,835
we listen to you all the time.

646
00:41:45,837 --> 00:41:47,003
- I appreciate that.
- But that means

647
00:41:47,005 --> 00:41:48,271
she listens to it too,<i> capisci?</i>

648
00:41:48,273 --> 00:41:49,873
I appreciate that,
I just, you know,

649
00:41:49,875 --> 00:41:51,574
it's all about being real,
raw, no bullshit.

650
00:41:51,576 --> 00:41:55,011
I don't want to talk
about my sex life on here.

651
00:41:55,013 --> 00:41:59,282
Oh, okay, well, shoot,
I'm sorry, man,

652
00:41:59,284 --> 00:42:00,583
is everything okay there?

653
00:42:00,585 --> 00:42:01,818
Yeah, yeah.

654
00:42:04,189 --> 00:42:07,090
Come on, it's me, seriously.

655
00:42:08,627 --> 00:42:11,828
I don't know, it's just
sometimes I feel like

656
00:42:11,830 --> 00:42:14,063
we're hitting a rough patch.

657
00:42:14,065 --> 00:42:15,798
Oh, man, I'm so sorry.

658
00:42:15,800 --> 00:42:19,168
Yeah, I don't know, it's
ever since she got promoted.

659
00:42:19,170 --> 00:42:23,273
We've both been so busy
that things have kind of

660
00:42:24,643 --> 00:42:27,744
slowed down in certain areas.

661
00:42:27,746 --> 00:42:28,845
Okay, hmm.

662
00:42:30,215 --> 00:42:33,082
All right so, do you
think like, would you say

663
00:42:33,084 --> 00:42:35,218
that you resent Natalie's
promotion?

664
00:42:35,220 --> 00:42:39,289
Okay, I wouldn't say
I resent that.

665
00:42:39,291 --> 00:42:41,724
You just hit record, didn't you?

666
00:42:41,726 --> 00:42:43,192
You pointed at me.

667
00:42:43,194 --> 00:42:44,994
- No, no.
- Okay, but every time you done

668
00:42:44,996 --> 00:42:47,597
that little half point
you've hit record.

669
00:42:47,599 --> 00:42:50,667
No, no, I was like hey,
tell me what's up man,

670
00:42:50,669 --> 00:42:51,634
like no bullshit.

671
00:42:51,636 --> 00:42:52,735
You know like, without

672
00:42:52,737 --> 00:42:54,003
hitting record.

673
00:42:54,005 --> 00:42:55,805
- Well, don't.
- You are, dude!

674
00:42:55,807 --> 00:42:57,240
Oh, man!

675
00:42:57,242 --> 00:42:59,676
- What the F?
- We had something going there.

676
00:42:59,678 --> 00:43:01,711
Okay, but I don't want to
talk about that, just stop.

677
00:43:01,713 --> 00:43:04,047
Why?

678
00:43:04,049 --> 00:43:06,616
Because I don't want to,
it's just...

679
00:43:06,618 --> 00:43:08,318
Okay, okay, I'm not mad,
okay, first show jitters,

680
00:43:08,320 --> 00:43:11,888
it's fine, we'll just
talk about something else.

681
00:43:11,890 --> 00:43:14,857
Yeah, anything else, anything
else besides my sex life.

682
00:43:14,859 --> 00:43:18,061
Cool, cool. Oh, okay.

683
00:43:19,197 --> 00:43:21,965
So how's the relationship
these days, is a...

684
00:43:21,967 --> 00:43:24,267
Do you have any resentments
that could bleed elsewhere?

685
00:43:25,170 --> 00:43:30,106
Actually everything's great,
I've never been happier.

686
00:43:30,108 --> 00:43:31,674
Really?

687
00:43:31,676 --> 00:43:33,076
Yeah, that's kind of the reason

688
00:43:33,078 --> 00:43:34,177
for this whole trip.

689
00:43:36,948 --> 00:43:38,314
What do you mean?

690
00:43:38,316 --> 00:43:41,084
It's my last hurrah.

691
00:43:43,021 --> 00:43:44,787
How's that?

692
00:43:44,789 --> 00:43:47,156
I'm going to ask her
to marry me.

693
00:43:47,158 --> 00:43:50,259
Oh shit, dude, you can't
air that either, fuck.

694
00:43:50,261 --> 00:43:51,894
Wait, are you serious?

695
00:43:51,896 --> 00:43:53,696
Yes, I'm serious,
I've been together with her

696
00:43:53,698 --> 00:43:57,400
for a long time, I mean,
I love her, it's the next step.

697
00:43:59,771 --> 00:44:01,004
Wow, but,

698
00:44:02,907 --> 00:44:06,976
you were the king of Alamo,
I mean you're varsity soccer.

699
00:44:06,978 --> 00:44:09,779
Dude, it's Alamo, you
can only be the king

700
00:44:09,781 --> 00:44:12,715
for like three years,
and then you get a reputation.

701
00:44:12,717 --> 00:44:14,250
And not a good one at that.

702
00:44:14,252 --> 00:44:15,818
I just...

703
00:44:19,724 --> 00:44:20,923
I didn't know.

704
00:44:22,260 --> 00:44:24,327
You were the last...

705
00:44:24,329 --> 00:44:25,395
The last what?

706
00:44:26,398 --> 00:44:28,164
The Last of the Mohicans?

707
00:44:32,804 --> 00:44:33,453
Forget it.

708
00:44:33,454 --> 00:44:34,103
- You want to go out?
- You're not going

709
00:44:34,105 --> 00:44:35,438
to air this, promise me.

710
00:44:35,440 --> 00:44:36,839
No, I'm not going to
air this, okay?

711
00:44:36,841 --> 00:44:38,041
Do you want to go out tonight?

712
00:44:38,043 --> 00:44:39,342
Yes, I want to go out,

713
00:44:39,344 --> 00:44:40,943
but I thought
you're not drinking.

714
00:44:40,945 --> 00:44:42,345
Well, I mean I might
take a backseat to that,

715
00:44:42,347 --> 00:44:45,148
but doesn't mean you
have to, you know?

716
00:44:46,685 --> 00:44:47,917
Celebratory.

717
00:44:49,387 --> 00:44:52,989
Um, all right, I'll just
get cleaned up, cool?

718
00:44:52,991 --> 00:44:54,290
Cool with me.

719
00:45:41,272 --> 00:45:42,472
I'm late.

720
00:45:47,245 --> 00:45:48,478
You okay?

721
00:45:48,480 --> 00:45:50,847
- What?
- Are you okay?

722
00:45:50,849 --> 00:45:51,914
What, why?

723
00:45:51,916 --> 00:45:53,249
Dude, were you electrocuted?

724
00:45:53,251 --> 00:45:54,217
- What?
- You just came out of

725
00:45:54,219 --> 00:45:55,284
the bathroom freaked,

726
00:45:55,286 --> 00:45:56,519
I thought you were electrocuted.

727
00:45:56,521 --> 00:45:58,821
- Was it a spider?
- Huh? No, what?

728
00:45:58,823 --> 00:46:00,256
Then why'd you scream then?

729
00:46:01,359 --> 00:46:03,326
Why did you scream then?

730
00:46:03,328 --> 00:46:08,965
I... ran out of deodorant.

731
00:46:08,967 --> 00:46:10,767
Well, that's an odd reaction.

732
00:46:10,769 --> 00:46:12,068
Dude, you can just
bum some off of me.

733
00:46:12,070 --> 00:46:14,337
No, no, no, it's okay.

734
00:46:14,339 --> 00:46:16,339
I have some in the closet,
I have some in the closet,

735
00:46:16,341 --> 00:46:17,473
thank you though.

736
00:46:17,475 --> 00:46:18,941
You ready?

737
00:46:18,943 --> 00:46:20,777
I kind of want to wash up too.

738
00:46:20,779 --> 00:46:22,459
And besides,
it's not even dark out yet.

739
00:46:24,382 --> 00:46:25,948
Dammit.

740
00:46:25,950 --> 00:46:28,417
Believe it or not,
it's hot dogs and pizza.

741
00:46:28,419 --> 00:46:31,387
You sure you're not hungry?
Because I've been stuffing my
face all night, I haven't

742
00:46:31,389 --> 00:46:34,123
- seen you eat anything.
- Nah, I'm good,

743
00:46:34,125 --> 00:46:36,125
why don't you grab a table
and I'll get the first round?

744
00:46:36,127 --> 00:46:37,127
Okay.

745
00:46:41,566 --> 00:46:43,366
Hey, you!

746
00:46:43,368 --> 00:46:45,368
Hey, Dayman.

747
00:46:45,370 --> 00:46:47,570
Somebody's been serving
underage girls here

748
00:46:47,572 --> 00:46:50,006
and I don't think that's a good,
do you, The?

749
00:46:50,909 --> 00:46:52,441
- Well, do you The?
- I don't know what you're

750
00:46:52,443 --> 00:46:54,510
talking about,
I don't serve underage girls.

751
00:46:59,150 --> 00:47:00,416
How you doing there?

752
00:47:00,418 --> 00:47:01,484
What can I get ya, pal?

753
00:47:05,990 --> 00:47:09,225
I was just talking to The.

754
00:47:11,029 --> 00:47:12,029
The?

755
00:47:14,432 --> 00:47:16,065
The Bartender.

756
00:47:17,135 --> 00:47:18,367
I am the bartender, yeah,

757
00:47:18,369 --> 00:47:19,936
they call me The Captain.

758
00:47:20,872 --> 00:47:21,872
What'll it be?

759
00:47:27,579 --> 00:47:31,347
Okay, I'll have
a water and a pinot.

760
00:47:32,450 --> 00:47:34,951
Water and a pinot
coming right up.

761
00:47:38,122 --> 00:47:39,222
Here you go.

762
00:47:40,625 --> 00:47:42,124
Cool, thanks.

763
00:47:45,096 --> 00:47:47,196
Yeah, keep it open, please.

764
00:47:47,198 --> 00:47:49,098
Thanks, mate.

765
00:47:54,172 --> 00:47:55,271
Excuse me.

766
00:47:57,942 --> 00:47:59,041
Is there a problem?

767
00:48:01,179 --> 00:48:04,280
Somebody's been serving...

768
00:48:04,282 --> 00:48:05,915
Under age?

769
00:48:05,917 --> 00:48:07,016
- Yeah.
- Yeah.

770
00:48:07,018 --> 00:48:11,354
That's Tasha, the waitress.

771
00:48:11,356 --> 00:48:13,890
Yeah, manager's on her ass
about it though,

772
00:48:13,892 --> 00:48:15,772
so something will be
cracking pretty soon.

773
00:48:18,062 --> 00:48:19,395
Thanks for looking
out though, champ.

774
00:48:19,397 --> 00:48:21,197
You need anything else,
let me know.

775
00:48:32,243 --> 00:48:33,342
Thank you.

776
00:48:35,079 --> 00:48:36,079
You okay?

777
00:48:37,415 --> 00:48:39,982
Yeah, it's just the same shit.

778
00:48:39,984 --> 00:48:42,985
Yeah... You seem a little jumpy.

779
00:48:44,656 --> 00:48:48,557
Yeah, I mean, have you
noticed anything weird

780
00:48:48,559 --> 00:48:50,326
about my apartment?

781
00:48:50,328 --> 00:48:52,128
There was some strange noises,

782
00:48:52,130 --> 00:48:54,297
the light was flickering.

783
00:48:54,299 --> 00:48:56,365
Yeah, yeah.

784
00:48:57,535 --> 00:49:00,303
Oh my God, this pinot
is interesting.

785
00:49:00,305 --> 00:49:04,073
The pinot on my ranch
has this rich underbelly.

786
00:49:04,075 --> 00:49:05,141
- It's so good.
- That's what I'm saying.

787
00:49:05,143 --> 00:49:07,009
- Oh shit.
- What?

788
00:49:07,011 --> 00:49:08,444
- It's them.
- Them, who?

789
00:49:08,446 --> 00:49:09,478
My neighbors.

790
00:49:09,480 --> 00:49:10,546
Oh, sweet.

791
00:49:10,548 --> 00:49:11,480
No, it will be very unsweet.

792
00:49:11,482 --> 00:49:13,082
Hey!

793
00:49:13,084 --> 00:49:14,684
- Hey.
- This is the guys.

794
00:49:14,686 --> 00:49:17,320
- Oh, hoo hoo hoo.
- Scoot over guy. Hey.

795
00:49:17,322 --> 00:49:18,882
I realize that I shouldn't
come out now.

796
00:49:20,591 --> 00:49:22,992
- Hilarious.
- How'd you get this guy
to come out?

797
00:49:22,994 --> 00:49:24,460
Jenny Swanson.

798
00:49:24,462 --> 00:49:26,329
- Jenny Swanson?
- She's the girl at my office

799
00:49:26,331 --> 00:49:28,631
that's like banged all
the guys in my office.

800
00:49:28,633 --> 00:49:31,167
- And that's why Greg came out?
- The fuck are you talking about?

801
00:49:31,169 --> 00:49:33,602
- No, I like this girl at my gym.
- How would Greg know
Jenny Swanson?

802
00:49:33,604 --> 00:49:35,705
- Wake up, Damien.
- I don't know, you just,

803
00:49:35,707 --> 00:49:38,240
you started talking about Jenny
Swanson, so I was just like...

804
00:49:38,242 --> 00:49:39,675
There's a girl at my gym
that I like.

805
00:49:39,677 --> 00:49:41,344
He likes this girl
at the gym that

806
00:49:41,346 --> 00:49:43,346
has banged all the other
guys but won't give him

807
00:49:43,348 --> 00:49:45,247
- the time of day.
- We all know that for a fact.

808
00:49:45,249 --> 00:49:47,383
Okay, so how does that
correlate to Jenny Swanson?

809
00:49:47,385 --> 00:49:49,251
Jenny...

810
00:49:49,253 --> 00:49:52,755
Jenny Swanson is the
all subtending girl

811
00:49:52,757 --> 00:49:56,492
that excludes you from a shot
at the opposite genes pool.

812
00:49:56,494 --> 00:49:57,426
Okay?

813
00:49:57,428 --> 00:49:59,328
Keep up, fella.

814
00:49:59,330 --> 00:50:01,464
You literally walked into the
middle of the conversation

815
00:50:01,466 --> 00:50:03,466
just talking about
Jenny Swanson, so I have

816
00:50:03,468 --> 00:50:05,749
- no reference of any...
- -Just do your best to keep up.

817
00:50:07,372 --> 00:50:09,238
Why do you do that?
You have this weird,

818
00:50:09,240 --> 00:50:11,273
goofy, deer doe-eyed look.

819
00:50:11,275 --> 00:50:13,075
Go get us some whiskeys, dude.

820
00:50:13,077 --> 00:50:15,678
Four whiskeys,
I'll get the first round.

821
00:50:15,680 --> 00:50:16,680
God.

822
00:50:20,118 --> 00:50:23,152
I'm sorry, are you lost,
are you looking for the party?

823
00:50:23,154 --> 00:50:24,720
No, I'm Damien's friend,
I'm Alan.

824
00:50:24,722 --> 00:50:27,023
This is my best friend
from high school man, it's Alan.

825
00:50:27,025 --> 00:50:28,024
Oh, Travis.

826
00:50:28,026 --> 00:50:29,325
Yeah, what's up?

827
00:50:29,327 --> 00:50:30,459
We actually
hated each other first

828
00:50:30,461 --> 00:50:31,427
but our girlfriends

829
00:50:31,429 --> 00:50:32,528
were best friends.

830
00:50:32,530 --> 00:50:33,596
This is true.

831
00:50:33,598 --> 00:50:35,231
Forcing us to hang out

832
00:50:35,233 --> 00:50:37,299
- and get to like each other.
- That's right.

833
00:50:37,301 --> 00:50:40,236
Yeah, but then they
broke up with us.

834
00:50:40,238 --> 00:50:42,772
Well actually,
she broke up with me,

835
00:50:42,774 --> 00:50:46,075
and then you broke up
with Carol, right?

836
00:50:46,077 --> 00:50:47,676
- Right.
- Right.

837
00:50:47,678 --> 00:50:49,145
Yeah, I was going off to college

838
00:50:49,147 --> 00:50:51,247
and had to get out.

839
00:50:53,718 --> 00:50:55,084
Oh, are you guys done?

840
00:50:55,086 --> 00:50:57,119
That was a riveting story, Alan,

841
00:50:57,121 --> 00:50:59,055
I'm glad you're here.

842
00:51:01,726 --> 00:51:03,759
So, why are you here,
are you going to move here?

843
00:51:03,761 --> 00:51:05,061
I hope you're not.

844
00:51:05,063 --> 00:51:06,362
Are you going to move here?

845
00:51:06,364 --> 00:51:07,496
No, he's actually, he's out here

846
00:51:07,498 --> 00:51:08,664
for one last hurrah.

847
00:51:09,767 --> 00:51:11,067
What?

848
00:51:11,069 --> 00:51:12,134
Yeah, he's going

849
00:51:12,136 --> 00:51:13,702
to propose to that girl.

850
00:51:13,704 --> 00:51:15,771
- Yeah, the same girl.
- You guys got back together?

851
00:51:15,773 --> 00:51:18,841
After eight years apart we've
now been together for three.

852
00:51:18,843 --> 00:51:21,477
I've never been happier
in my whole life.

853
00:51:21,479 --> 00:51:25,114
Oh my God, I am sorry,
man, you've got that

854
00:51:25,116 --> 00:51:28,717
weird suburbia thing going on,
we're going to get you laid.

855
00:51:30,254 --> 00:51:31,520
- You're joking.
- No, I'm not joking,

856
00:51:31,522 --> 00:51:32,688
we need to get you laid.

857
00:51:32,690 --> 00:51:33,756
No.

858
00:51:33,758 --> 00:51:35,124
Yeah, no, yeah, we are.

859
00:51:35,126 --> 00:51:36,292
That was a cry for help,
I saw it.

860
00:51:36,294 --> 00:51:37,626
Come on, look, you're

861
00:51:37,628 --> 00:51:39,261
in the biggest city
of uncommitted

862
00:51:39,263 --> 00:51:42,098
people, and you have
to get laid here.

863
00:51:42,100 --> 00:51:44,633
It's a thing, you got to do it,
we're going to do it for ya.

864
00:51:44,635 --> 00:51:46,368
So that's why I was convinced
to come out

865
00:51:46,370 --> 00:51:49,138
to get my mind off the gym girl.

866
00:51:49,140 --> 00:51:50,706
Why do you do that?

867
00:51:50,708 --> 00:51:52,641
Did you think that
the conversation stopped

868
00:51:52,643 --> 00:51:55,811
when you left and then
we just paused?

869
00:51:58,282 --> 00:52:00,483
Alan here is going
to get married

870
00:52:00,485 --> 00:52:01,784
to his high school sweetheart.

871
00:52:01,786 --> 00:52:03,586
- Lovely.
- But before he does

872
00:52:03,588 --> 00:52:05,354
he's going to have
a little rendezvous.

873
00:52:06,290 --> 00:52:07,256
Is that a good idea?

874
00:52:07,258 --> 00:52:08,324
It's terrible.

875
00:52:08,326 --> 00:52:09,692
She's actually best friends with

876
00:52:09,694 --> 00:52:11,527
Damien's ex-high school
sweetheart.

877
00:52:11,529 --> 00:52:12,895
What happened to your girl?

878
00:52:12,897 --> 00:52:16,765
She ended up dating
some military guy.

879
00:52:16,767 --> 00:52:20,302
But he's always off,
so I don't know, last I heard

880
00:52:20,304 --> 00:52:22,805
it wasn't really working out,
she was over it.

881
00:52:22,807 --> 00:52:26,275
Oh, no dude,
he's a desk pusher now.

882
00:52:28,579 --> 00:52:30,579
They just got engaged.

883
00:52:30,581 --> 00:52:31,581
Oh.

884
00:52:33,151 --> 00:52:34,216
Really?

885
00:52:35,486 --> 00:52:36,552
I'm sorry, buddy, I was going to

886
00:52:36,554 --> 00:52:37,553
bring it up earlier, but...

887
00:52:37,555 --> 00:52:38,521
- No.
- We're here.

888
00:52:38,523 --> 00:52:40,289
Yeah, we're just

889
00:52:40,291 --> 00:52:41,257
a knock on the door away.

890
00:52:41,259 --> 00:52:43,259
Guys, I'm... I'm fine.

891
00:52:43,928 --> 00:52:46,262
It's not a big deal,
it's like forever ago.

892
00:52:46,264 --> 00:52:48,430
You don't seem fine, but...

893
00:52:48,432 --> 00:52:50,399
I, really, seriously,
it's whatever.

894
00:52:54,839 --> 00:52:58,207
Did you know Damien when
he was a fat kid?

895
00:52:58,209 --> 00:52:59,275
He wasn't that fat.

896
00:52:59,277 --> 00:53:01,243
Yes, he was, I saw pictures.

897
00:53:01,245 --> 00:53:02,845
He was like Louie Anderson fat.

898
00:53:02,847 --> 00:53:04,246
Living with Louie.

899
00:53:04,248 --> 00:53:06,182
Hey, did you lose your glasses?

900
00:53:06,184 --> 00:53:08,317
- You know what, man?
- What?

901
00:53:08,319 --> 00:53:10,286
- I think you should.
- I should?

902
00:53:10,288 --> 00:53:12,388
Have one last hurrah.

903
00:53:12,390 --> 00:53:13,856
- Come on, you can't.
- Oh, come on.

904
00:53:13,858 --> 00:53:16,592
Yeah, yeah, I think
he's speaking truth.

905
00:53:16,594 --> 00:53:18,394
Yep, that's a guy with an idea.

906
00:53:18,396 --> 00:53:21,830
No, no dude, I've had my fun,
I'm ready to settle down.

907
00:53:21,832 --> 00:53:25,267
This is an even more reason
to have one last rendezvous.

908
00:53:25,269 --> 00:53:27,570
- There you go.
- Greg and I are upset.

909
00:53:27,572 --> 00:53:29,572
- I like the girl at my gym.
- Travis always wants

910
00:53:29,574 --> 00:53:31,240
a one night stand, so come on,
let's all go in.

911
00:53:31,242 --> 00:53:32,274
I like one night stands, I like

912
00:53:32,276 --> 00:53:33,375
a lot of one night stands.

913
00:53:33,377 --> 00:53:34,276
I'm always up for

914
00:53:34,278 --> 00:53:35,744
a one night stand.

915
00:53:35,746 --> 00:53:38,581
Oh, there's a hand in
the middle of the pot.

916
00:53:38,583 --> 00:53:39,848
- What does that mean?
- The hand in the

917
00:53:39,850 --> 00:53:40,950
middle of the pot

918
00:53:40,952 --> 00:53:42,751
means that that's a pact.

919
00:53:42,753 --> 00:53:44,987
If you put another hand
in the pot what happens?

920
00:53:44,989 --> 00:53:46,488
It's pact time.

921
00:53:46,490 --> 00:53:48,457
Oh, there's a third hand.

922
00:53:48,459 --> 00:53:50,326
I've got a small hand
so I'm going to do two hands.

923
00:53:50,328 --> 00:53:52,361
He's going to do two hands,
put your hands in there.

924
00:53:52,363 --> 00:53:55,531
-Don't break the pact,
don't break the pact.
-All right, fine,

925
00:53:55,533 --> 00:53:56,599
I'll put my hand on the pact.

926
00:53:56,601 --> 00:53:57,566
Okay, let me tell you something,

927
00:53:57,568 --> 00:53:58,567
you've got long hands.

928
00:53:58,569 --> 00:53:59,635
But that doesn't mean...

929
00:53:59,637 --> 00:54:00,669
No, it does mean something.

930
00:54:00,671 --> 00:54:01,570
Let me tell you something,

931
00:54:01,572 --> 00:54:02,938
you don't know me!

932
00:54:02,940 --> 00:54:04,807
- I'm just kidding. But I'm not.
- Okay.

933
00:54:04,809 --> 00:54:06,242
- I'm really serious.
- All right, fine.

934
00:54:06,244 --> 00:54:07,009
I'm going to the bathroom,

935
00:54:07,011 --> 00:54:07,977
I'm glad we did this.

936
00:54:07,979 --> 00:54:09,345
We're cool, it's okay.

937
00:54:09,347 --> 00:54:11,313
- No, it's not okay.
- Yeah.

938
00:54:11,315 --> 00:54:12,881
Do you think I like you?

939
00:54:20,591 --> 00:54:21,624
Breakfast.

940
00:54:21,626 --> 00:54:22,626
Excuse me?

941
00:54:23,461 --> 00:54:24,927
Breakfast.

942
00:55:34,865 --> 00:55:36,098
Ah, Jesus!

943
00:55:37,034 --> 00:55:39,034
Sorry, you startled me.

944
00:55:40,071 --> 00:55:41,870
Mind passing me one?

945
00:55:41,872 --> 00:55:43,572
Oh, yeah, sure.

946
00:55:43,574 --> 00:55:45,841
- Here you go.
- Thank you.

947
00:55:50,047 --> 00:55:51,513
Do I know you?

948
00:55:53,050 --> 00:55:54,050
Do you?

949
00:55:56,821 --> 00:55:59,755
I mean, you look familiar,
but I can't place it.

950
00:55:59,757 --> 00:56:02,124
Sometimes things are
hard to place.

951
00:56:03,994 --> 00:56:05,728
Or be found for that matter.

952
00:56:07,098 --> 00:56:09,031
Okay, have a good night.

953
00:56:09,033 --> 00:56:11,367
Do you love her?

954
00:56:11,369 --> 00:56:12,101
Excuse me?

955
00:56:12,103 --> 00:56:14,069
Do you love her?

956
00:56:14,071 --> 00:56:16,105
- Do I love...
- My daughter.

957
00:56:18,442 --> 00:56:21,477
You know, we had some good
times, and had a few laughs.

958
00:56:21,479 --> 00:56:23,545
Stop stuttering and answer me!

959
00:56:23,547 --> 00:56:25,381
Is this what you want?

960
00:56:27,885 --> 00:56:29,585
I think I want to leave.

961
00:56:29,587 --> 00:56:32,554
Don't be bashful about it,
own it like a man!

962
00:56:32,556 --> 00:56:33,756
Own it like a man?

963
00:56:33,758 --> 00:56:35,057
That's right.

964
00:56:35,059 --> 00:56:36,959
- Own what, exactly?
- You're asking me

965
00:56:36,961 --> 00:56:37,893
for my daughter's hand

966
00:56:37,895 --> 00:56:40,095
in marriage, aren't you?

967
00:56:41,532 --> 00:56:43,132
Had we only met.

968
00:56:44,902 --> 00:56:45,968
Have a good one.

969
00:56:45,970 --> 00:56:47,569
The answer is yes.

970
00:56:47,571 --> 00:56:49,671
I think you're mistaking
me for someone else.

971
00:56:49,673 --> 00:56:53,409
Dani loves you,
and that's all that matters.

972
00:56:53,411 --> 00:56:55,144
Welcome to the family, Damien.

973
00:56:57,982 --> 00:57:00,716
You know a lot of guys think
that I just want a baby daddy,

974
00:57:00,718 --> 00:57:02,518
which is so far from the truth.

975
00:57:02,520 --> 00:57:03,986
I mean I really like my life,
doesn't mean

976
00:57:03,988 --> 00:57:06,855
I don't want to have some
fun from time to time.

977
00:57:06,857 --> 00:57:07,956
Who's this?

978
00:57:07,958 --> 00:57:09,491
Oh, this is our buddy.

979
00:57:09,493 --> 00:57:10,492
This is Damien.

980
00:57:10,494 --> 00:57:11,560
Damien.

981
00:57:11,562 --> 00:57:14,029
Oh, someone's in Cabo.

982
00:57:14,031 --> 00:57:15,531
Cabo?

983
00:57:15,533 --> 00:57:17,166
I just mean
it's not a race, dude.

984
00:57:17,168 --> 00:57:19,935
Race, Mexican, right?

985
00:57:19,937 --> 00:57:20,903
Uh,

986
00:57:20,905 --> 00:57:22,204
normally he's very funny.

987
00:57:22,206 --> 00:57:24,106
- He has his own show.
- Really?

988
00:57:24,108 --> 00:57:25,641
Like a TV show?

989
00:57:25,643 --> 00:57:28,644
So is this the male
equal to Ellen?

990
00:57:29,480 --> 00:57:33,782
Equal parts whiskey
and terror, right?

991
00:57:33,784 --> 00:57:35,117
Are you okay?

992
00:57:35,119 --> 00:57:36,952
Dude, did you see a ghost?

993
00:57:36,954 --> 00:57:38,153
Phantasma.

994
00:57:38,155 --> 00:57:39,621
Shena, you were saying.

995
00:57:39,623 --> 00:57:40,689
Was I?

996
00:57:40,691 --> 00:57:42,090
You were saying that

997
00:57:42,092 --> 00:57:43,892
even though you're a single mom

998
00:57:43,894 --> 00:57:45,561
you still like the D.

999
00:57:45,563 --> 00:57:47,129
Oh, whoa, okay,

1000
00:57:47,131 --> 00:57:48,831
I don't know if I was saying
exactly that.

1001
00:57:48,833 --> 00:57:51,800
Hey, we all have, you know,
animalistic urges.

1002
00:57:51,802 --> 00:57:53,836
It'd be unfair to put
a single mom

1003
00:57:53,838 --> 00:57:56,038
up on like a pedestal, right?

1004
00:57:56,040 --> 00:57:58,574
I mean you're a human being,
you're like

1005
00:57:58,576 --> 00:58:00,843
you deserve to have some,
you know, the...

1006
00:58:00,845 --> 00:58:01,910
The D!

1007
00:58:01,912 --> 00:58:04,246
Yeah, I do deserve the D,

1008
00:58:04,248 --> 00:58:06,081
you know, a big one too.

1009
00:58:06,083 --> 00:58:09,952
I just, I refuse to be seen
as this woe is me type woman

1010
00:58:09,954 --> 00:58:11,687
that needs a man to
take care of her.

1011
00:58:11,689 --> 00:58:13,222
- Totally.
- I don't need ya.

1012
00:58:13,224 --> 00:58:16,558
Yeah, it's 2018,
men are just sperm deposits

1013
00:58:16,560 --> 00:58:17,493
by this point.

1014
00:58:17,495 --> 00:58:18,627
Ouch.

1015
00:58:18,629 --> 00:58:19,928
Everything is just so easy now.

1016
00:58:19,930 --> 00:58:22,764
We have robots,
self-driving cars,

1017
00:58:22,766 --> 00:58:25,033
advancements in dildos.

1018
00:58:25,035 --> 00:58:26,969
- Yes, gross.
- They even have

1019
00:58:26,971 --> 00:58:28,504
the texture down, you know.

1020
00:58:28,506 --> 00:58:31,106
The whole hunter gatherer
sense is gone.

1021
00:58:31,108 --> 00:58:33,809
I have an announcement,
I have yet

1022
00:58:33,811 --> 00:58:35,611
to have a man give me an orgasm.

1023
00:58:35,613 --> 00:58:37,679
That's because
you don't use a dildo,

1024
00:58:37,681 --> 00:58:38,747
I have told you.

1025
00:58:38,749 --> 00:58:39,848
What about, what happened

1026
00:58:39,850 --> 00:58:42,017
to compassion and love?

1027
00:58:43,287 --> 00:58:44,920
It's true, I do...

1028
00:58:44,922 --> 00:58:46,054
still like the feeling

1029
00:58:46,056 --> 00:58:47,556
of connecting, and the feeling

1030
00:58:47,558 --> 00:58:49,691
of weight on me, unfortunately.

1031
00:58:49,693 --> 00:58:50,859
I weigh 185.

1032
00:58:50,861 --> 00:58:52,027
You know, worse case

1033
00:58:52,029 --> 00:58:53,228
scenario, I guess I have to

1034
00:58:53,230 --> 00:58:55,063
raise my kid in this dystopian,

1035
00:58:55,065 --> 00:58:57,266
animatronic type future.

1036
00:58:57,268 --> 00:59:02,237
Oh you will thrive in a
dystopian, manimatronic future.

1037
00:59:02,239 --> 00:59:03,305
Is that so?

1038
00:59:03,307 --> 00:59:06,808
Absolutely, my mother raised me.

1039
00:59:06,810 --> 00:59:10,846
And my father couldn't
hold a candle to her.

1040
00:59:10,848 --> 00:59:14,316
Yeah, I think single parents
deserve a lot of respect.

1041
00:59:14,318 --> 00:59:16,018
Oh, were you a product of?

1042
00:59:19,924 --> 00:59:21,023
No.

1043
00:59:22,593 --> 00:59:25,093
A lot of people think that,
but no,

1044
00:59:25,095 --> 00:59:26,695
my parents are still
happily married.

1045
00:59:26,697 --> 00:59:28,564
- Really?
- Yeah.

1046
00:59:28,566 --> 00:59:30,599
Are you a commitaphobe?

1047
00:59:31,302 --> 00:59:32,734
I would not use that term.

1048
00:59:33,671 --> 00:59:35,637
That means yes.

1049
00:59:35,639 --> 00:59:38,040
I just feel that everyone
should love themselves.

1050
00:59:38,042 --> 00:59:42,711
Well, you were raised in a
respectful, loving relationship

1051
00:59:42,713 --> 00:59:44,246
- so what are you trying...
- We're derailing from

1052
00:59:44,248 --> 00:59:45,614
the conversation.

1053
00:59:45,616 --> 00:59:48,083
Maybe your parents raised you

1054
00:59:48,085 --> 00:59:51,119
with this unrealistic
idea of romance?

1055
00:59:51,121 --> 00:59:53,655
I think people want
what they can't have

1056
00:59:53,657 --> 00:59:56,058
because it's safer and
that we're all responsible

1057
00:59:56,060 --> 00:59:59,795
for our own feelings,
nobody else's.

1058
00:59:59,797 --> 01:00:01,096
It's safer that way.

1059
01:00:01,098 --> 01:00:02,731
And it's just, you know,

1060
01:00:02,733 --> 01:00:05,067
it's just stress-free living
all the time.

1061
01:00:05,069 --> 01:00:06,935
I refuse to be psychoanalyzed.

1062
01:00:07,972 --> 01:00:09,004
Carol.

1063
01:00:10,007 --> 01:00:11,873
All right, I got shots.

1064
01:00:13,377 --> 01:00:15,210
- Yes!
- Yay.

1065
01:00:15,212 --> 01:00:16,278
You should ID.

1066
01:00:16,280 --> 01:00:17,312
Oh please, that line is not

1067
01:00:17,314 --> 01:00:18,847
going to work on us honey.

1068
01:00:18,849 --> 01:00:19,982
No, no, seriously.

1069
01:00:19,984 --> 01:00:20,983
Just to let you guys know,

1070
01:00:20,985 --> 01:00:21,917
we're going to be closing

1071
01:00:21,919 --> 01:00:22,884
in about 10 minutes.

1072
01:00:22,886 --> 01:00:23,986
Thank you, Jen.

1073
01:00:23,988 --> 01:00:25,187
No one underage should be

1074
01:00:25,189 --> 01:00:26,254
admitted in this bar.

1075
01:00:26,256 --> 01:00:27,656
So drink up, have fun,

1076
01:00:27,658 --> 01:00:29,658
I'll see ya in 10.

1077
01:00:29,660 --> 01:00:32,227
Hey, hey, hey, did I hear shots?

1078
01:00:32,229 --> 01:00:34,696
This is my kind of group.

1079
01:00:34,698 --> 01:00:35,998
- May I join?
- Yeah.

1080
01:00:36,000 --> 01:00:37,165
Yes, you can have this one.

1081
01:00:37,167 --> 01:00:38,233
Yeah.

1082
01:00:38,235 --> 01:00:39,668
Hey, you know what?

1083
01:00:39,670 --> 01:00:41,637
I think we should
take this party

1084
01:00:41,639 --> 01:00:43,772
back to Damien's house
for after hours.

1085
01:00:43,774 --> 01:00:44,840
Fuck, yeah!

1086
01:00:44,842 --> 01:00:45,741
- Let's do it.
- Yeah!

1087
01:00:45,743 --> 01:00:46,808
Dame-o!

1088
01:00:46,810 --> 01:00:47,843
I'm his next door neighbor.

1089
01:00:47,845 --> 01:00:49,344
- Yes.
- No, no, no.

1090
01:00:49,346 --> 01:00:51,380
They're coming, they're coming.

1091
01:00:51,382 --> 01:00:53,815
You left a naked,
under-age girl in my bed.

1092
01:00:53,817 --> 01:00:55,117
You didn't do anything, did you?

1093
01:00:55,119 --> 01:00:56,218
- No.
- Then what's

1094
01:00:56,220 --> 01:00:57,786
the fucking issue?

1095
01:00:57,788 --> 01:00:59,721
You saw some tits,
we had some laughs,

1096
01:00:59,723 --> 01:01:00,889
stop being a baby.

1097
01:01:00,891 --> 01:01:02,224
You hooked up with an

1098
01:01:02,226 --> 01:01:03,158
under-age girl.

1099
01:01:03,160 --> 01:01:05,027
Did I?

1100
01:01:05,029 --> 01:01:07,095
Yes, dammit.

1101
01:01:07,097 --> 01:01:09,865
We kissed, and then
we made fun of you

1102
01:01:09,867 --> 01:01:12,100
after you passed out,
we moved you into the hallway.

1103
01:01:13,103 --> 01:01:14,036
And her clothes

1104
01:01:14,038 --> 01:01:14,970
came off when?

1105
01:01:14,972 --> 01:01:15,937
Her clothes?

1106
01:01:15,939 --> 01:01:16,938
Yes.

1107
01:01:16,940 --> 01:01:18,774
Fuck if I know.

1108
01:01:18,776 --> 01:01:20,976
When I left she was clothed.

1109
01:01:20,978 --> 01:01:23,078
Are you sure you didn't
remove her clothes?

1110
01:01:23,080 --> 01:01:25,180
Yes, positive.

1111
01:01:25,182 --> 01:01:28,150
Chill out, dude, I'm just
fucking with you,

1112
01:01:28,152 --> 01:01:29,151
I won't say anything.

1113
01:01:29,153 --> 01:01:30,419
There's nothing to say.

1114
01:01:30,421 --> 01:01:31,720
Look, I can invite her over

1115
01:01:31,722 --> 01:01:32,721
if you're so curious.

1116
01:01:32,723 --> 01:01:33,689
No, I just want to

1117
01:01:33,691 --> 01:01:34,990
make sure she's okay.

1118
01:01:34,992 --> 01:01:36,425
She's fine.

1119
01:01:36,427 --> 01:01:38,193
She just drank
a little too much.

1120
01:01:38,195 --> 01:01:39,895
Okay.

1121
01:01:39,897 --> 01:01:41,463
Wait, wait, wait, wait,
do you actually think

1122
01:01:41,465 --> 01:01:43,432
that you're coming in here?

1123
01:01:43,434 --> 01:01:44,900
'Cause you're not.

1124
01:01:44,902 --> 01:01:45,902
Duh.

1125
01:01:48,138 --> 01:01:50,939
You're not, you psycho.

1126
01:01:50,941 --> 01:01:52,140
You need me.

1127
01:01:52,142 --> 01:01:53,408
Oh, and why is that?

1128
01:01:53,410 --> 01:01:57,312
Because I'll make
this fun while you

1129
01:01:57,314 --> 01:01:59,281
go sulk in a corner.

1130
01:01:59,283 --> 01:02:00,449
I don't...

1131
01:02:00,451 --> 01:02:02,150
- M-hm.
- I don't sulk, okay?

1132
01:02:02,152 --> 01:02:03,318
- I'm not going to.
- Yeah, you do.

1133
01:02:03,320 --> 01:02:04,453
- You don't know that.
- You do.

1134
01:02:04,455 --> 01:02:05,921
- You do.
- No.

1135
01:02:05,923 --> 01:02:07,089
Hey, hey.

1136
01:02:08,058 --> 01:02:09,925
- Hey.
- Hey.

1137
01:02:12,262 --> 01:02:14,963
Hey, you see this
guy's apartment?

1138
01:02:14,965 --> 01:02:17,165
But I have a three
bedroom apartment.

1139
01:02:17,167 --> 01:02:18,333
So she coming inside?

1140
01:02:18,335 --> 01:02:19,901
Is that, it's okay?

1141
01:02:19,903 --> 01:02:21,403
She can come inside my place.

1142
01:02:23,240 --> 01:02:25,307
Yeah, yeah I think
that's a good idea.

1143
01:02:25,309 --> 01:02:28,043
- Yeah, it's
a good idea.
- You'll have fun.

1144
01:02:28,045 --> 01:02:29,885
You guys should definitely
do that.

1145
01:02:30,447 --> 01:02:32,914
All right, have fun, okay?

1146
01:02:32,916 --> 01:02:35,884
- I like that you share, bro.
- Yeah.

1147
01:02:35,886 --> 01:02:38,987
Hey, hey, hey, hey,
make sure he follows

1148
01:02:38,989 --> 01:02:40,255
the fucking pact, okay?

1149
01:02:40,257 --> 01:02:41,323
- Okay.
- Hey!

1150
01:02:42,426 --> 01:02:44,392
Make sure he follows the pact.

1151
01:02:44,394 --> 01:02:46,995
Okay, I'll do it,
I'm going to go talk
to him right now.

1152
01:02:46,997 --> 01:02:48,396
Okay, just make sure he does it

1153
01:02:48,398 --> 01:02:50,232
because it'd be good for him.

1154
01:02:52,236 --> 01:02:56,538
Oh, hey, Greg.
Dude, you should probably...

1155
01:02:56,540 --> 01:02:59,074
She called you a hobbit,

1156
01:02:59,076 --> 01:03:01,243
you're like a little
handsome white Smurf.

1157
01:03:01,245 --> 01:03:05,046
Okay, get some rest,
good night, guys.

1158
01:03:21,265 --> 01:03:22,864
Of course I would.

1159
01:03:24,868 --> 01:03:27,803
Yeah, he was drunk,
he had a whole bottle of wine.

1160
01:03:27,805 --> 01:03:30,138
He had an entire bag
of pistachio nuts

1161
01:03:30,140 --> 01:03:32,541
from our finest closet,
he starts flicking 'em...

1162
01:03:33,477 --> 01:03:35,010
on the counter.

1163
01:03:35,012 --> 01:03:36,912
So just flicking shells
just everywhere?

1164
01:03:36,914 --> 01:03:38,346
- Everywhere.
- Are you okay?

1165
01:03:38,348 --> 01:03:39,848
- What?
- Are you okay?

1166
01:03:39,850 --> 01:03:41,416
Yeah, of course,
why wouldn't I be?

1167
01:03:41,418 --> 01:03:43,451
- You seem a little on edge.
- Hey, where's the ice?

1168
01:03:43,453 --> 01:03:44,586
- Oh!
- Oh, my God.

1169
01:03:44,588 --> 01:03:47,989
Security gets the suite, eh?

1170
01:03:47,991 --> 01:03:48,957
- Oh, my God!
- Great.

1171
01:03:48,959 --> 01:03:50,058
Is he okay?

1172
01:03:50,060 --> 01:03:51,259
He's fine, he just had

1173
01:03:51,261 --> 01:03:52,594
a little bit too much to drink.

1174
01:03:52,596 --> 01:03:54,396
How are you guys
doing on drinks,

1175
01:03:54,398 --> 01:03:55,463
you need some more?

1176
01:03:55,465 --> 01:03:56,431
- Fine.
- Oh, I'm okay.

1177
01:03:56,433 --> 01:03:57,933
We just poured those.

1178
01:03:57,935 --> 01:03:59,775
- Great, I'll get some more.
- Whoa.

1179
01:04:01,305 --> 01:04:02,971
Dude, what's up?

1180
01:04:02,973 --> 01:04:04,139
What? I'm fine.

1181
01:04:04,141 --> 01:04:05,373
Really? Because you just dumped

1182
01:04:05,375 --> 01:04:06,608
our whiskeys out,

1183
01:04:06,610 --> 01:04:09,177
now you're
making us four new ones.

1184
01:04:09,179 --> 01:04:11,847
I think if you keep this up
you're going to turn into

1185
01:04:11,849 --> 01:04:12,948
a big, fat

1186
01:04:12,950 --> 01:04:14,382
loser!

1187
01:04:21,525 --> 01:04:23,859
Who do we have here?

1188
01:04:23,861 --> 01:04:25,227
What?

1189
01:04:25,229 --> 01:04:28,430
Is it this important
child's birthday?

1190
01:04:29,266 --> 01:04:31,132
No, not yet.

1191
01:04:31,134 --> 01:04:33,001
Happy birthday, fatty.

1192
01:04:56,927 --> 01:04:58,360
You're okay.

1193
01:04:59,196 --> 01:05:00,495
You're okay.

1194
01:05:02,099 --> 01:05:03,331
You're okay.

1195
01:05:45,442 --> 01:05:47,943
You're a father.

1196
01:05:54,017 --> 01:05:55,283
Stop!

1197
01:05:55,285 --> 01:05:56,484
Stop!

1198
01:05:56,486 --> 01:05:57,486
Stop!

1199
01:05:58,655 --> 01:05:59,655
Stop!

1200
01:06:17,207 --> 01:06:18,207
Fuck.

1201
01:06:24,581 --> 01:06:25,613
Drives you crazy.

1202
01:06:25,615 --> 01:06:26,715
- Yeah.
- Well, man.

1203
01:06:26,717 --> 01:06:29,150
Hey, Damien.

1204
01:06:29,152 --> 01:06:31,219
Damien, is that you?

1205
01:06:31,221 --> 01:06:32,320
Hey, man,

1206
01:06:34,591 --> 01:06:36,391
Alan says that he's probably

1207
01:06:36,393 --> 01:06:39,094
not going to go through
with the pact.

1208
01:06:39,096 --> 01:06:41,329
I just feel super
weird about it.

1209
01:06:41,331 --> 01:06:43,398
But I told him that he should.

1210
01:06:43,400 --> 01:06:46,534
And I said that I shouldn't.

1211
01:06:46,536 --> 01:06:49,104
Yeah, and then
I said to him again,

1212
01:06:49,106 --> 01:06:51,206
"Yeah, you should."

1213
01:06:51,208 --> 01:06:56,511
So yeah, that's what's
happening out out here.

1214
01:06:56,513 --> 01:06:57,679
Hey,

1215
01:06:59,116 --> 01:07:01,483
you look kind of weird.

1216
01:07:04,788 --> 01:07:09,491
Alan, you are going to
go through with it, okay?

1217
01:07:09,493 --> 01:07:14,295
Because we made a fucking pact,
and it's not a time

1218
01:07:14,297 --> 01:07:19,434
to be a little bitch,
it's time to man up, right?

1219
01:07:19,436 --> 01:07:21,169
Right?

1220
01:07:23,607 --> 01:07:28,109
I'm not going to hurt you,
I'm not going to hurt you, Alan.

1221
01:07:30,313 --> 01:07:31,513
But you will

1222
01:07:32,349 --> 01:07:34,182
fuck that girl.

1223
01:07:35,252 --> 01:07:39,054
Hey, Damien, why don't
you take it down a notch?

1224
01:07:41,491 --> 01:07:44,192
Don't tell me to take
it down, all right?

1225
01:07:44,194 --> 01:07:45,493
Go hump crazy.

1226
01:07:47,230 --> 01:07:48,530
And gentlemen...

1227
01:07:52,169 --> 01:07:53,468
we have a pact.

1228
01:07:55,705 --> 01:07:57,138
Are you sure?

1229
01:07:57,140 --> 01:07:58,573
I packed 'em.

1230
01:07:59,576 --> 01:08:02,143
Oh, yeah, you did.

1231
01:08:02,145 --> 01:08:03,511
See, told you.

1232
01:08:05,348 --> 01:08:06,748
You didn't tell me anything.

1233
01:08:07,784 --> 01:08:10,351
And that's actually not true,

1234
01:08:10,353 --> 01:08:12,587
'cause you were just
saying something.

1235
01:08:12,589 --> 01:08:13,521
I was?

1236
01:08:13,523 --> 01:08:18,359
Yeah, about the girl
from way back.

1237
01:08:18,361 --> 01:08:20,595
Oh, Carol, yeah.

1238
01:08:20,597 --> 01:08:23,665
Yeah, I guess she was the most
serious thing I was ever in.

1239
01:08:24,634 --> 01:08:25,700
Oh man, I love the way

1240
01:08:25,702 --> 01:08:27,402
we talk about relationships.

1241
01:08:27,404 --> 01:08:29,471
Like they're
a John Carpenter movie.

1242
01:08:31,575 --> 01:08:34,342
If we have any surprises
for each other.

1243
01:08:34,344 --> 01:08:38,313
I don't think we're in much
shape to do anything about it.

1244
01:08:38,315 --> 01:08:40,482
Best first date ever.

1245
01:08:40,484 --> 01:08:42,484
Hollywood Cemetery, check.

1246
01:08:42,486 --> 01:08:43,818
Aliens, check.

1247
01:08:43,820 --> 01:08:46,287
Body snatchers, check.

1248
01:08:46,289 --> 01:08:50,458
I would say to rephrase
something from moments ago,
duh doi.

1249
01:08:52,662 --> 01:08:58,333
Hey, I just want to say thank
you for putting up with my BS.

1250
01:08:58,335 --> 01:09:02,337
Well, I've been known to fling
some cow crap myself.

1251
01:09:02,339 --> 01:09:04,739
And like I tell our friends,
you and I are like

1252
01:09:04,741 --> 01:09:07,442
Mike Meyers and October 31st.

1253
01:09:07,444 --> 01:09:10,712
Seriously though, I know
I can be difficult,

1254
01:09:10,714 --> 01:09:13,448
and distant, you know,
sometimes.

1255
01:09:13,450 --> 01:09:17,418
But... you make me feel safe.

1256
01:09:20,757 --> 01:09:22,157
Same.

1257
01:09:39,409 --> 01:09:41,309
Should I be worried about you?

1258
01:09:45,815 --> 01:09:48,283
Dude, you went to get us drinks
and never came back

1259
01:09:48,285 --> 01:09:49,717
like 20 minutes ago.

1260
01:09:51,621 --> 01:09:54,789
Dude, I'm so sorry,
I'm a little out of it.

1261
01:09:54,791 --> 01:09:57,659
Look, I don't want to be
a dick, because I know

1262
01:09:57,661 --> 01:10:00,461
you're going through some shit.

1263
01:10:00,463 --> 01:10:02,931
But I'm pretty pissed off.

1264
01:10:02,933 --> 01:10:03,933
Okay.

1265
01:10:05,402 --> 01:10:10,271
Look, this is my first
and possibly only visit

1266
01:10:10,273 --> 01:10:12,407
to Los Angeles, maybe ever,

1267
01:10:13,877 --> 01:10:16,411
and you don't want
to do anything!

1268
01:10:16,413 --> 01:10:19,781
And when you do, you're
either disgruntled,

1269
01:10:19,783 --> 01:10:21,749
or you fucking disappear,

1270
01:10:22,686 --> 01:10:26,554
or you dumped out
the whiskey shots.

1271
01:10:29,559 --> 01:10:32,694
Come on man, wake up,
I haven't seen you

1272
01:10:32,696 --> 01:10:35,597
since like three
Christmases ago.

1273
01:10:38,301 --> 01:10:40,702
I just want to have
fun with my old friend,

1274
01:10:41,771 --> 01:10:43,538
and you're breaking
my heart, dude.

1275
01:10:46,443 --> 01:10:50,011
You're right, you're right,
I'm sorry.

1276
01:10:50,013 --> 01:10:51,379
Damn right.

1277
01:10:53,650 --> 01:10:55,416
This is my LA trip.

1278
01:10:58,321 --> 01:10:59,921
- I wanted to be a prosecutor.
- God.

1279
01:10:59,923 --> 01:11:00,888
What?

1280
01:11:00,890 --> 01:11:04,826
Oh, nothing, I'm just
going insane.

1281
01:11:04,828 --> 01:11:06,861
Sure, the moment I realized
my passion

1282
01:11:06,863 --> 01:11:08,496
would make you go insane.

1283
01:11:08,498 --> 01:11:11,332
No, no, no that's not
what I'm saying.

1284
01:11:11,334 --> 01:11:13,468
I'm just sorry, I...

1285
01:11:13,470 --> 01:11:18,473
Well, we could go walk
down that long hallway

1286
01:11:18,475 --> 01:11:24,312
or, if you are going insane,
then maybe we could be edgy

1287
01:11:24,314 --> 01:11:25,747
and just stay here.

1288
01:11:25,749 --> 01:11:28,483
Perhaps getting caught
would add a little...

1289
01:11:28,485 --> 01:11:30,885
Shit, I forgot about him.

1290
01:11:30,887 --> 01:11:32,854
Dude, what are you doing?

1291
01:11:32,856 --> 01:11:35,723
I was going to take the trash
out, it started to fill up.

1292
01:11:35,725 --> 01:11:38,626
,
No man, I've got my trash,
go sit down.

1293
01:11:40,764 --> 01:11:41,996
I'll be right back, I'm sorry.

1294
01:11:41,998 --> 01:11:43,398
Okay.

1295
01:11:44,567 --> 01:11:46,434
Hey, you're doing really
good with him.

1296
01:11:46,436 --> 01:11:49,904
Just keep your confidence
level high and just...

1297
01:11:50,940 --> 01:11:52,440
Jesus Christ.

1298
01:13:39,082 --> 01:13:40,982
Late for kids.

1299
01:13:53,630 --> 01:13:55,530
Kid.

1300
01:13:55,532 --> 01:13:56,697
Hello?

1301
01:14:16,686 --> 01:14:17,718
Hello, kid?

1302
01:14:27,464 --> 01:14:28,464
Hello?

1303
01:14:41,578 --> 01:14:43,744
Kid, is that you?

1304
01:14:51,087 --> 01:14:53,187
Kid, you back there?

1305
01:15:25,288 --> 01:15:29,857
We are gathered here today
to unite Damien Booster

1306
01:15:29,859 --> 01:15:31,692
and Danielle Scott.

1307
01:15:32,795 --> 01:15:35,530
Wel... welc...
Welcome to the family.

1308
01:15:35,532 --> 01:15:37,832
You have my blessing, son.

1309
01:15:54,717 --> 01:15:55,750
Oh shit.

1310
01:15:55,752 --> 01:15:58,686
Danielle, repeat after me.

1311
01:16:00,056 --> 01:16:02,123
With this ring.

1312
01:16:02,125 --> 01:16:05,593
With this ring I thee wed,

1313
01:16:05,595 --> 01:16:07,061
Damien Booster.

1314
01:16:07,964 --> 01:16:09,764
I don't see you!

1315
01:16:09,766 --> 01:16:11,265
Do you, Damien Booster

1316
01:16:11,267 --> 01:16:13,634
take Danielle Scott?

1317
01:16:14,704 --> 01:16:16,237
And, Danielle Scott,

1318
01:16:16,239 --> 01:16:19,707
do you take Damien Booster?

1319
01:16:21,311 --> 01:16:22,311
I do.

1320
01:16:28,585 --> 01:16:30,151
Dani...

1321
01:16:30,153 --> 01:16:31,153
Dani...

1322
01:16:32,922 --> 01:16:35,222
I'm sorry I'm
such a fuck up, okay?

1323
01:16:35,224 --> 01:16:39,894
I love you, I love you,
you have to know this,

1324
01:16:39,896 --> 01:16:42,029
you must know this, I love you!

1325
01:16:44,334 --> 01:16:46,167
I know.

1326
01:16:47,604 --> 01:16:49,003
Whoa, what's wrong?

1327
01:16:49,973 --> 01:16:51,806
Damien, you okay?

1328
01:16:54,243 --> 01:16:56,043
Hey, man, where's the trash?

1329
01:17:10,059 --> 01:17:12,960
- Fuck this.
- Wait, what?

1330
01:17:16,399 --> 01:17:18,232
Hey, whoa, Damien.

1331
01:17:18,234 --> 01:17:20,267
- Excuse me!
- I don't think
that's such a good idea.

1332
01:17:20,269 --> 01:17:22,336
- I just don't think
you should go in there.
- Excuse me, lady!

1333
01:17:22,338 --> 01:17:25,306
Oh, my God! Whoa, guys,
a little privacy, please.

1334
01:17:26,209 --> 01:17:28,843
Alan, I can't let
you do this, okay?

1335
01:17:28,845 --> 01:17:30,244
Everything I've said
is horse shit,

1336
01:17:30,246 --> 01:17:32,780
you deserve a real,
untainted love, man.

1337
01:17:34,917 --> 01:17:38,019
No, no, he's right,
I'm sorry, Shena.

1338
01:17:38,021 --> 01:17:40,021
You're an amazing girl
and I feel so lucky,

1339
01:17:40,023 --> 01:17:44,792
- but, I love my girlfriend.
- You have a girlfriend?

1340
01:17:44,794 --> 01:17:46,327
I know, I know I should
have said something.

1341
01:17:46,329 --> 01:17:47,294
What the fuck?

1342
01:17:47,296 --> 01:17:48,396
I got carried...

1343
01:17:48,398 --> 01:17:50,097
Really, a fucking girlfriend?

1344
01:17:50,099 --> 01:17:52,266
Here I am fucking butt ass
naked in your bed

1345
01:17:52,268 --> 01:17:53,701
and you got
a fucking girlfriend?

1346
01:17:53,703 --> 01:17:54,935
I had a wonderful time with you.

1347
01:17:54,937 --> 01:17:56,003
Oh, stop.

1348
01:17:56,005 --> 01:17:56,937
Really!

1349
01:17:56,939 --> 01:17:58,172
Oh, fuck off!

1350
01:17:58,174 --> 01:17:59,073
- I'm sorry.
- Fuck you!

1351
01:17:59,075 --> 01:18:06,714
Thanks for nothing, asshole,
I can't believe I wasted
my night off with you.

1352
01:18:06,716 --> 01:18:08,449
I should have known
watching you in the bar

1353
01:18:08,451 --> 01:18:11,152
last night all mopey
and weird that tonight would be

1354
01:18:11,154 --> 01:18:12,720
just as shit-tastic.

1355
01:18:13,923 --> 01:18:15,389
She remembered me.

1356
01:18:15,391 --> 01:18:17,191
I'm so embarrassed,
you piece of shit.

1357
01:18:17,193 --> 01:18:19,093
Wait, wait, last night?

1358
01:18:19,095 --> 01:18:21,162
Yeah, you're buddy was
there last night

1359
01:18:21,164 --> 01:18:25,032
being just as lame and
pathetic as he was tonight.

1360
01:18:25,034 --> 01:18:27,034
Damien, what the fuck?

1361
01:18:27,036 --> 01:18:28,769
I'm sorry man, okay?

1362
01:18:28,771 --> 01:18:30,971
Like you passed out and
I couldn't go to sleep.

1363
01:18:30,973 --> 01:18:34,008
Dude, it's not just that,
it's everything.

1364
01:18:34,010 --> 01:18:36,343
The whole trip has just
been one big wash with you!

1365
01:18:36,345 --> 01:18:39,080
I know, I know, I know.

1366
01:18:39,082 --> 01:18:42,183
I fucked up, I fucked up,
I'm a fuck up.

1367
01:18:42,185 --> 01:18:44,318
Okay, I fucked up
Caroline's relationship.

1368
01:18:44,320 --> 01:18:46,854
I've self-sabotaged every
single relationship since.

1369
01:18:46,856 --> 01:18:51,192
And, you know, I guess I did
the same thing with you,

1370
01:18:51,194 --> 01:18:53,961
and I'm sorry dude,
I'm an asshole.

1371
01:18:53,963 --> 01:18:56,363
Yeah, you did, asshole.

1372
01:18:56,365 --> 01:18:58,165
Mainly to people I care about.

1373
01:18:58,167 --> 01:19:01,235
Mainly to people you care about.

1374
01:19:01,237 --> 01:19:02,837
And you don't deserve that.

1375
01:19:02,839 --> 01:19:06,941
I'm sorry, you're my best
friend, you've been
my best friend

1376
01:19:06,943 --> 01:19:11,145
my whole life, and
I love you, man, and I just...

1377
01:19:11,147 --> 01:19:12,413
Let's just save it.

1378
01:19:12,415 --> 01:19:15,516
I love you, man,
and I'm really happy

1379
01:19:15,518 --> 01:19:17,485
for you and Natalie,
like sincerely.

1380
01:19:17,487 --> 01:19:18,819
Hey!

1381
01:19:18,821 --> 01:19:20,321
You kept me up all night, huh?

1382
01:19:54,323 --> 01:19:56,791
<i>Hey, bud,
you didn't ruin my trip.</i>

1383
01:19:56,793 --> 01:19:59,026
<i>If anything, you made
it more interesting.</i>

1384
01:19:59,028 --> 01:20:01,862
<i>Thank you for showing me
just how much I love Natalie,</i>

1385
01:20:01,864 --> 01:20:04,865
<i>you da man, hope you will be
my best man come next spring.</i>

1386
01:20:04,867 --> 01:20:06,801
<i>Love you dude, Alan.</i>

1387
01:22:21,437 --> 01:22:23,070
Damien?

1388
01:22:26,409 --> 01:22:27,708
Who is he?

1389
01:22:28,978 --> 01:22:30,377
Who was that guy?