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- Amazing things I've heard at High School:
- Girl: I hate my gender. I want to make a new gender all for myself.
- Student: I know how to describe high school in three letters: KMS
- Guy: MEMES ARE LIFE
- Student 1: Someone wrote in this textbook, 'weed is the best'
- Student 2: they're not wrong
- Art Student: you know, the lemon nipple??
- Teacher: Jesus should be swol
- Student: White isn't a color
- Student: My life may be a mess, but I have the internet so it's okay
- Student: Yo, try this lotion. I have baby hands now.
- AP Student: is Japan in Asia???
- Student: *Pointing at flowers* Look at those plant reproductive organs!
- Art student: it's like they tried to copy Bob Ross but ended up copying a two year old.
- Animation student: Finally, I can animate myself dabbing.
- Girl: What lies at the center of a tootsie pop?
- Girl 2: death
- Student: I've married a snake!
- Student: I thought there was something on your face
- Student 2: yeah it's called skin
- Art Student: I don't want to enter your vortex!
- Teacher: Take those phallic symbols off my white board!
- Art Teacher: you gotta tickle the edges
- Student: fuck me with a rake
- Two weeks later: wait... with the normal end or the rakey end?
- Student: What does 'nut' mean?
- Student: I want to choke on my numbers
- Student: you want to hear about my sex life? It's all about pre-cal
- Powerpoint title: How the Teletubbies cause Dancing with the Stars to Suck
- Teacher: it's like nature's womb
- Student: do you mean the hooker bat???
- Girl: I’m a virus- can I inject my dna into you
- Girl: I feel like a sardine!
- Chemistry Teacher: *describing a trigonal plane* it’s like a fidget spinner
- Girl: I feel like gods sweet rays are penetrating my ocular organs
- Girl: why did god give spiders butt ropes
- Girl: is lava moist
- Girl: her beautiful, blue orbees
- Girl: I cream for Satan
- Student: *using fruit loops as an example of mass suicide*
- Student: feline intercourse is disturbing.
- French student: I wave my baguette around
- Student: we are all furries on the inside
- Student: I love caging my animals
- Student: hey baby, can I touch your tentacles
- Student: It’s not hentai, I swear!
- Student: Fuck me through the butt-flap.
- Student: please factor me by 2
- Girl: what if hitler had a fursuit
- Student: bob Ross is the second Jesus
- Dr Gober, our principle: another question... “can you get me a girlfriend?”
- I can’t help you with that one, I’m gober not god
- Student: Dr. Gober is my daddy
- Art teacher: hello darkness my old friend..
- Student: I’m gonna make out with a chainsaw
- Student: the communist version of donuts
- Art teacher: AP kids if you’re crying on the inside you can come by later
- Student: is that a uterus?!
- Student: succ-ueen
- Guy to his friends: you’re gonna embarrass me in front of the lizards
- Student: I want my protons taken away
- Student: cucumber dildo
- 3 weeks later: that’s a vegan dick
- Student: I don’t want your tube fruit!
- Student: the bee can’t love you back!
- Student to other student: *caresses foot* mmm, that’s some good foot.
- Girl: do you ever just grab your own boobs
- Girl: Branch sex
- Girl: do you ever just look at your feet and think that it could be one homogenous toe?
- Me: what the fuck
- Me: what’s wrong with bulbasaur’s bulb it feels weird
- Girl: well, maybe you should stop fingering him
- Girl: I want the Mona Lisa to dab
- Girl: sublime thighs
- A girl in total seriousness: dude, I am a monster fucker
- A poster in AP English: “the hidden lives of those who LARP”
- Student: I used to boil ants
- Student: sign me up to a furry dating site
- Student: I’m in a group so it’s communism
- Art teacher: it’s like a contemporary hand turkey
- Guy in math: I’d suck dick to be 21, I’d also suck dick for a slurpee
- Art teacher: do you know what you need for liking watercolor? to get help.
- Student: suddenly, child labor
- Girl: I’m gonna deep throat a raw onion
- Girl: that guy can go suck my left nut
- AP Bio Teacher: at no point during this lecture will I lactate
- Teacher: you are going to hell.
- Girl: you forgot how to make babies.
- Girl: I don’t keep him as a slave
- Student: cat tiddies!
- Student: you can slap ur butt right onto that chair
- Student: what’s up muffin butt?
- Student: 3...2...1... Whores!
- Student: what are boobs in the end?
- Art teacher: holy sperm
- Student: is cockroach milk an adequate substitute for water
- Student: I like a good whip
- Girl: you had to mcdo it do ‘em
- Girl: slap that meat
- Teacher: dig through the trash, find some spoiled food, and eat it
- Student: I don’t care if the economy crashes, I don’t want to go to school
- Student: kill me with the power of dab
- Student 1: m rated transformers
- Student 2: yummy
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