Thread 23: Stories 121-130

>Spike
"42"
'Twi'
-77-
~DT~

BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!

Turf, rocks, and robot parts flew through the air as another salvo impacted the ground at the base of the hill. All around the base robots crawled over the wrecks of their brethren to continue their hundreds strong assault on the hilltop. Above them the pink earth filly stood, launching missile after missile down on them, raining high explosive death like it was her job.

However, numbers mean something even when rockets and explosive ordinance are involved. A few stragglers crawled to the top, their weapons at the ready to complete their objective: Kill the Enemies.

That plural became relevant in a matter of seconds, as a whirling dervish of black chitin and sharpened bone found its mark in their vital components, forcing them to fall over in rapidly expiring heaps. The eyepatch wearing changeling smirked as another battalion of bots began to climb the hill, before ducking and allowing the filly to bring her gun to bear on the assailing automatons.

BOOOOOOM!

Meanwhile, outside the simulation, three interested parties look on.

>They've been at this how long?

'Three hours, they just came in and said they needed a program designed to test their viability as a team in combat. They've run this simulation multiple times, increasing the number of robots every time.'

"They're developing a baseline strategy. Setting the norm before they can put in variations. Looks like they're based around DT doing the damage while 77 watches her back and picks off anyone still standing, pretty sound."

>Huh, wonder what brought this on...

"Who knows, though I can't deny it looks like they're getting results. They must really be in the zone in there."

In the simulation...

-You're certain your father won't give me that brownie recipe?!-

Stab!

~Nope, family secret, old man, you'd have a better time trying to get your Queen to screw someone other than Shining Armor!~

Boom!

-Bollocks! There goes that surprise dessert in bed idea I had for Cheerilee!-

Slash!

~Just give me a time, I'll have him make some-RIGHT FLANK!-and you can pretend you made them!~

BOOM!

-Thanks, Poppet!-

Decapitate!

~Don't mention it!~

BOOM!

-~This is so fucking fun!~-
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NON CANON

>Spike
"77"
'DT'
~~~
>I think they're ready for a variation, i'm going in!

Spike smirked and fiddled with the settings then rushing into the simulation before anyone could stop him

inside, 77 and Diamond Tiara scowled

'Their losing numbers...'

"They shouldn't... Princess Twilight walked me through the coding and I wrote this scenario myself."

Soon, the last robot fell dead into a pile of scrap, and as it fell, it revealed a grinning Spike armed with his new TP-82 and Charity

"Spike?"

He dropped into a stand, his guns aimed at both of them

>BOSS BATTLE!!!

Despite the threat, Spike didn't fire until after Diamond Tiara did, her rockets were quickly detonated in mid-air and our from the smoke 77 rushed in swinging

'PLEASE! TELL ME YOU HAD THE DECENCY NOT TO BRING LETHAL ROUNDS FOR SIMULATED DEATH!'

Each word was punctuated by a slash or stab with his knife. Spike's training was showing now, as his familiarity with 77's style, he either dodged the attacks of parried them with his guns or even let a few straight up glance off his scales

>Yep, non-lethal, also-

Spike interrupted himself to take a few concentration breaking potshots at Diamond Tiara who yelped, breaking the line up she had been working on with her anti-tank rifle

>I see what you're doing

Spike then forced the fight, closing off 77's angles with some quick, point blank shots to keep 77 between him and Diamond tiara

>And it's not gonna work.

They clash

>Might wanna change things up a bit

Now it was 77's turn to grin as a grenade rolled between them, it's timer counting down

77 used his and Spike's clash as a fulcrum to flip over the dragon then drive him to the ground

Right over the grenade

>Ouch...

Spike groaned as he stumbled out of the simulator along with Diamong tiara and 77

>You tell me to use non-lethal munitions in the simulator, then Tiara blows me up with a grenade? Dying hurts even more the second time, you know?

"Well next time, ask before you burst into OUR simulation! Or at least adjust the perimeters of the weapons!"

'Or at least let me know you're definitely not part of the program! Jerk!'

Diamond Tiara kicks Spike in the shin

>Ouch again! Still... I am proud of how well you two work together, I think all the Royal Guard, A-team included, could stand to learn a thing or two from this example.

'I didn't ask for your approval!'

"But, we do appreciate it anyway."
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Non-canon preview

>Pinkie
~~~~~
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0CoWplXbeUw
>Now that Twilight has stopped acting like an airhead, she tries to make amends with Spike. Meanwhile Shining, Sombra and I continue our quest by getting to the moon. As Celestia reveals her love for bananas she ends up sending a bunch of baby ducks to the moon. Will AJ12 be getting visitors at his new job? Find out next time time in Thread 24: Moonbase 12...And of course, I'll give you good fan service.
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Non-canon?
>Spike
"Shining Armor"
~~~
"One day, I will die, Spike-"

>If this is a joke, it's not funny, Shining.

"Its true, we all go eventually... But what's important for me is what I leave behind Spike."

>We're not having this conversation!

"Spike! ... Please, I'm trying to be serious."

>And I sure as hell don't want to be, not about this.

"We've been lucky we have survived as we have, but luck runs out, Spike. But that's not important-"

>THE IDEA OF MY BROTHER DYING IS PRETTY FUCKING IMPORTANT TO ME!

"... And how would you stop me from dying?"

>... I don't know? Make you an Alicorn?

"Even Celestia and Luna are still pretty vulnerable, and I know even as one of them, I would die well before any, and you know why."

>... Because you have to protect them.

"Just like you. Spike... When it happens... When I die, I want to know: what will become of you? In many ways, you will become the man of the family, all of it. They will look to you for guidance, for protection, for help, for strength, what will you give them when they ask?"

>I would give them what they want.

Shining just smiles, sits up, and puts a hoof on Spike's head

"Still got a bit to learn. It's okay, I definitely don't plan to go for awhile now, but... Just think on that for a bit."

>... I still just want to know why everyone's gotta be so fucking gloomy even now that Twilight's back. God, I don't care if it's not finished yet, I'm gonna drag sooo many people to Partyland and I am going to pretend to get sooooo drunk.
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alternative way to read this...
~~~
>When I was a young drake, my brother took me to the city, to see a marching band.

>He said

"Spike, when you grow up will you be the savior of the broken, the beaten, and the damned?"

>He said

"Will you defeat then, your demons and all the non-believers, the plans that they have made? Because one day, I'll leave you a phantom, to lead you in the summer, to join the Black Parade."

>... I'm still trying to figure out what the fuck all that was about. I seriously need a drink.

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CONTINUATION OF EARLIER STORY

'And Celestia would be all hot for Sombra trying to make himself a good guy and not be a forever alone neckbeard pining for Shiny dick!'

*BOOOOM!*

[Nope.]

"Celestia, what-"

[We are not doing that. Nope. NOOOO. We are not making me almost killing two universes for a hunky boy canon. I would rather we went back and remade that one gag where I threw the sun into THIS planet canon, at least then it was just the one planet I'm wrecking, not the entire universe as a whole. Also, at least that wouldn't make my every appearance from now on think 'Everyone she loves is worth less than one guy'. That's some buuullllshit. "Love makes you stupid", PFT, yeah, we can all relate to looking at our family and thinking "If I loved a guy or girl, I would SO sacrifice all of you for the chance to be with them!", that's relateable. Bullshit did that happen.]

'...What if the show says it did?'

[Then you all clearly need to take my crown away and put me on 'genocide watch', as clearly I cannot handle my emotions like an adult. GOOD. DAY.]

*SLAM!*

>...She's kind of got a point, it would be like me jumping through universes for Flash knowing full well it would hurt Spike or something.

"Only on a universal scale."

'While also forgetting stuff she's done a bunch of times before to do it.'

>"'...'"

>What the fuck were they thinking?

'Isn't it obvious? "Who needs continuity!"

>"'PFFTHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!""

~~~

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NC
>Pinkie
"Twilight"
'Dash'
-Fluttershy-
~Applejack~
[Rarity]
{Spike}
~~~~~

>ARE YOU SERIOUS!? Seriously!? SERIOUSLY!?

"What? You said you wanted to be part of an arc."

>I MISSED EVERYTHING! I missed the Bubble-Twi bits, I missed the Spike-games, I missed Chrysalis snapping, I missed Cadence LOSING HER SHIT, and I missed the group hug! Were you all just waiting for me to leave before you did all the amazing stuff!?

'Ahhh, don't be like that, Pinkie! I got, like, two lines in that whole thing anyway.'

-I think I got one and a half.-

~Yeah, ya'll got some pretty funny stuff with yer' folks and Shiny.~

[Do try to look on the bright side of things, darling.]

>...I guess...

{And hey, you didn't almost set off a Changeling-pony war, so... that's a plus? I mean, if Cadence hadn't stepped in, we would have had a monstrously pissed off Chrysalis running around free in the castle, and she would never trust anyone except maybe Shiny or her Lings again.}

"...Probably would have done some stuff to you too."

{Yeah, probably.}

'And hey, arcs not over yet, right?'

>Hey, you know? That's right! I can still get some show stopping moments in here! I can totally top Cadence's badass moment! Right?

"'-~[{...]}-~'"

>R-right?

~Lets... lets not shoot too high, sugar cube.~

>I'll show you all! NEXT TIME!
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NC
>Chrysalis
"18"
'42'
-2-
[77]
{56}
`29`
~~~~~~

>Shut it.

"What? I thought you were cute this time."

'Indeed, you made a most reasonable decision.'

"And now we know who's going to top when Caddy breaks out the riding crop-OW!"

-I missed everythin'!-

[We all did, actually.]

{I almost got my Chitania figure! THE BOOTY WAS ALMOST MINE!}

[Isn't she his aunt?]

`Technically, unless it's a 1-1 genetic copy when a queen ascends, absolutely none of us who did not directly come from the same queen are related due to the heart thing.`

[Right, the thing we don't know about in-canon.]

>Let's just hope bad stuff happening to me is over already.

"..."

>What!?

"Don't... don't read the thread."

>Why!? What are they talking about!? WHAT'S GOING TO HAPPEN!?

...

>WHAT!?
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>SA
"Spike"
'77'
[29]
{Poindexter}
~Dadling~
~~~~~

>Wow, we have surprisingly few frequent male characters.

"Right? Though, I mean, considering the show..."

'We could bring 32 up, I guess.'

[I have no idea who that is. We've never met in story.]

"...HOLY CRAP! You haven't! HOW!?"

[Is he royalty?]

>No, tries to kill them, actually.

[Then he is my mortal foe.]

{It's not like you hang around royalty anyway.}

[Pft, have you SEEN Marey's or Zecora's ass? Put a crown on that and the Sword of Fantasy shall pierce the beast, if you catch mine crude manner of speech.]

"What about Trixie?"

[Meh, I'd probably do her if she was a princess.]

~Pal, you've got to learn to be with the gal you love, not the one you want. Go for it, have some sex in the bathroom of a restaurant, and all sorts of amazing things can happen!~

{I like how you all get to just casually talk about this while poor little poindexter gets no loving.}

>Well, apparently you're now some sort of secret badass assassin or something?

{...Yeah, what was up with that?}

"Who knows. So... Shiny, you adding someone else to your "TOTALLY NOT" harem?"

>Oh god no, it's just throwaway gags. Could you imagine?

"Yep... 'OHH! Shiny! We need to get married so I can throw the bestest wedding party ever!'"

['Don't be afraid to throw me on the bed and pop that party canon!']

{'Does this mean I get to have sex with Cadence too? AWESOME!'}

~You guys are weird.~

>Wouldn't have it any other way.
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Non-canon
>SS
"DT"
~~~~
>WE DON'T GET SCENES TOGETHER ANYMORE!

"I knoooow!"

>Why are you hanging out with that old guy now? What about us, DT? What. About. Us?

"I-I don't know what the writers are thinking nowadays. Just...ugh!"

>We used to be friends. A long time ago.

"No no! We still are! Besides, what about you? You're hanging around with PJ now."

>So I can better hang out with you!

"ARRRGH! Don't make me feel worse than I already feel, Silver."

>Just shut up...and hug me please.

"Awww, of course!"
*HUGS*

>Now for old time's sake.

"Definitely."

>"Bump. Bump. Sugar-lump, rump!"
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