Ain't That a Kick in the Head? (Fallout: NV theme)

<kissing and necking sounds, feigned moaning and a hint of sarcasm in tone>

Oh baby, that's right. You know I'm your girl! Ohhhh yeah me and you are gonna take all those caps of yours into The Tops and make 'em multiply! How much do you got again? Ohhhhhhhh yeah a big spender! No sweet thing I'm not gonna fuck you just cause your rich...

<a pistol is drawn> I'm not gonna fuck you at all, as a matter of fact! What's gonna happen next is up to you. You can either drop every last one of your caps right here on the ground and make for the horizon, or you'll be radscorpion shit by sunrise. Up to you <sarcastic> honey baby.

<bemused chuckling>Thaaaaat's what I thought! Keep running until I can't see you!

Why do all these assholes love bragging about how rich they are, like it's some kinda dick measuring contest? All that shit'll get you is a bullet in the brain and your dick hanging around some fiend's neck like a trophy... Oh, don't look at me like that ED-E. I'm doing them a public service! A little smartening up didn't hurt anyone! It'll go a long way out here. Besides, if I'm gonna get more whiskey and you're gonna get them upgrades you need, it's gonna take serious caps. Better off in my pocket than sitting in a safe on the fucking Strip... Ok, ok, last robbery. Now quit your beeping and keep guard, that last mark stank like he jumped in a tub of RadAway and I'd like to dream of a nice warm soapy shower. <sarcastically>And maybe a traveling buddy with a pulse.

<pause>

<waking up with a headache, stripped of clothing, and heavily restrained at every limb and secured to iron posts in the corners of a large tent>

Ow... fucking shit my head... Wait! What the fuck! Why can't I move? ED-E? ED-E YOU WORTHLESS FLYING TOASTER WHERE THE FUCK AM I AND WHY AM I TIED UP ON ALL FOURS? ED-E? How the hell did this happen and wher-who's that?! Who's coming in? You better kill me or you're gonna fucking pay when I esc-<four men enter the tent, dressed in Roman battle attire, one's clothing is particularly ornate and he follows the other three>Oh hell... oh no way my god damn luck is that bad...I thought The Courier got rid of y'all? The dresses, the spears, the bull... god damn it! There is no way I got kidnapped by Caesar's Legion... Excuse me? No I won't shut my mouth in "Caesar's" precious presence! <slapped hard> OW! Fuck! What, no kiss first, Mr. Skirt? <struck again> OW! Alright what the hell do you want, head honcho? ... Robbery? ... Listen, blondie, if I robbed one of your boys, he was dressed in city clothes and he damn sure wasn't talking like y'all are... Well shit, if you took my clothes you must have my caps and all my gear, the debt's paid! Just give me my clothes and my robot an-Hey what did y'all do with ED-E? He should have shot your asses the moment you got near me! Modifications? What kinda modifications, a dress and a spear? <struck again> OW! Lighten the hell up! Look, I know you boys don't believe in nothing more advanced than a damn cock-ring so what the hell could you do with my robot? I'll find out? Find out when? What the hell are you gonna do with me?

Hail Caesar? No I will not kiss his fucking cock, that's gonna all the caps in the damn Mojave! No, no! Back the fuck up! What do you mean "Break her?" I am not a damn animal I do not need to be br<a strong hand is clasped around her throat> br... br... broken... please... I can't fucking breathe... <choking and gasping before finally being released from the grip, gulping for air> What... what... what the fuck are you gonna do with me? ... No, no back up I said! Please! Don't take off your fucking skirts, please! Holy shit... wow I can see why you boys love throwing them spears around... but the answer is no! NO! <rudely and forcefully entered from behind> Oh, oh God damn it I said no! Stop! Stop f-fucking me! Oh God! <moaning, though trying not to> It... it all ends when??? When I beg for it? I am not gonna beg for your boss's d-dick! He didn't even take his skirt off ... off with you th-three. Well shit, if... if you three are spent you can't m-make me beg! Bring those other fucking things here, I'll drain every pair of balls in the Mojave before I b-beg for anything!

<she takes both of the others in her hands' limited range of motion, taking turns slurping and sucking each>

If you b-boys... just wanted a little a-action ... oh fuck oh fuck yeah... all you gotta do is b-buy a girl a drink! Ask daddy over there if he'll let you stay out past curfew! <spanked a few times aggressively> Oh! Oh fuck! Ok... my mouth is gonna ... gonna get me in trouble I may as well use it to shut y'all up!

<more slurping and sucking sounds, taking breaths between the cocks, heated moaning and thrusting into the one behind her>

Come on! Come on, I know you're all cl-close! <slurp> I ain't about to beg for shit! <slurp> Come on... <trying to mutter quietly>please before I fucking cum... Go ahead and let it all out and tell your ... tell your master you failed! That's it, that's it! Ahhhhhhh

<sighs and moans of pleasure as three men cum, one vaginally and the others in her mouth>

<spitting cum out>

I don't give a fuck who you are..... I don't swallow for any man! <breathing heavily> Run off boys! Run off before daddy gets mad! And what the fuck do YOU look so happy about? I'm still here, still not broken, still not begging! And there's not shit you can do to make me beg for your wrinked old shaft! ... an old friend? What old friend I don't have any damn fr-ED-E! ED-E? What the hell did they do to y-<abrupt laughter, completely dumbfounded> ohhhhhhhohohoho THAT's your master plan? <more laughing> I'm sorry but that's the funniest god damn thing I've ever seen! You take a little round flying robot and... and you weight him down with a foot long fucking brass pecker? That's fucking funny! My pussy can handle that sh... what do you mean? WHERE? OH HELL FUCKING NO! Nobody goes in there! Johnny Guitar himself, if he walked in here and serenaded me for an evening, would never be allowed to stick it in my fucking ass! No! ED-E you don't want to hurt me, do you?

<a violent vibrating begins>

Oh God! Oh God that fucking thing can move! No ED-E! ED-E STOP! PLEASE! NO! N-<grunting and crying out in pain as the vibrating, pistoning member enters> Ohhhhhh God it's too big it's too big it's too fucking big! Fuuuuuuuck please no! God damn it, it's cheating wh-when you just make the biggest d-dick you can! Sh-shit that little nob is r-rubbing right on my clit! You're fucking cheating! <beginning to lose control and senses, louder moaning> Pl-please... it's too big... to good... no... st.... stop.... Oh... oh... no... please...

<moaning more as a reluctant but strong orgasm approaches>

Ok! Ok please! Please g-give me your dick Caesar! Please! I'm b-begging! Oh... Oh Almighty Caesar, please bless me with your big cock... your delicious cum... yes... yes... you're... so big sir <entered in the mouth as the asshole is still punished> So good... yes Caesar... your whore! All the ... cock you ... you compel me to... take...

<sucking and moaning to an intense orgasm>

Hail... <talking with a mouthful of cum> Hail Caesar <swallowing a few gulps> Ahhhhhh ... Hail unto Caesar!