EXPLICIT - Space Pirate Frontier

	The cycle had gone without a hitch, for the most part. There were enough fuel cells to take them all the way past Jupiter. They had all of their maps coordinated with the reference sites back on Earth… Hell, there was even going to be Jambalaya for the evening meal, and everyone on board loved Jambalaya. Though, just as things were getting settled in for a long, arduous night, there was a small “ping” of sorts on the radar in the Thalassa’s navigation room… The next thing everyone on board that ship knew, there were sirens and blaring lights waking people from sleep and jarring them from their various activities.
	Though, all of that just so happened to have gone down about a half hour ago, and judging by the sight of most of the crew tied up and thrown haphazardly into chair after chair, things were certainly not going in anyone’s favor at the moment. In fact, if we go by how a certain Cait Sith female’s face is awash in a deep red blush, things weren’t going well. No, not in the absolute slightest.
	“Of course, these ruffians happened to have picked when I was taking my evening bath to pillage the place… Ugh, and they didn’t even have the decency to give me a towel to dry myself off with, too... Oh, dear, I do hope that they left us with at least something…” She squirms in her seat, and strains to break free of the Nano-Wire bonds that held both her wrists and her ankles. She had been sitting in such an uncomfortable position for the better part of a half-hour, add in that she was still as damp as she was when she had gotten into her bath, and things weren’t getting any much better… She looks around for a moment, and glances around at the rest of her friends that were in the same situation as her.
	The elf girl off to the Cait Sith’s right side had been straining against her own bonds, with a manic, if slightly deranged grin on her face. It would be hard to tell most of her expression at the moment, though, due to the large headset that was currently occupying the area around her head.
	“Well, ah’ll be! Th’ ship even has ev’rything compiled for the crew’s personalities! No wonder this thing was so brought up bah’ Command!” She looks around for a moment after that, lingering for a bit at the sight of a certain green Cu Sith male off to the side. Said canine-like being happened to be sporting a rather… innocuous package right in the middle of his crotch. If that semi-form fitting Ray-Tile under-clothing was anything to show, it was showing anything and everything that the canine was sporting…
	“Clemmie, lis’n up, then, lass! This whole ruddy ‘fing’s gon’ arse o’er tea kettl’! Ge’ tha’ ruddy ‘eadse’ off o’ ye’!” The Cu Sith’s member was sticking up as straight as a metal rod, and was currently dripping with droplets of clear pre-cum. He shudders a moment at the feeling of the Cargo Bay’s cool air on his package, and shimmies in his seat. Certainly uncomfortable, and he certainly didn’t want anyone to see all of… well, him. He looks across from himself towards the far end of this sort of semicircle of horrible moments towards another Cu Sith, this time a female.
	“Yeah, you dumb bitch, get that helmet off or I’m gonna kick your ass!” She struggles for a moment in her bonds, but lets out a frustrated sigh once things start to hurt. Her eyes flutter for a moment, as if trying to stay awake. “Ugh… you think you can get me some coffee once we’re out of here, Kara?” As if on cue, the fifth figure within that group perks up at the sound of his name. The figure, a sort of amalgam of Draconic and Caprine features sits there, looking incredibly displeased.
	“Miss Ezzie, I do not think that coffee would be of any use to us at this present time. What we need at the moment is a way to get out of these Nano-Wire ropes. Besides, even if I could get your coffee, it wouldn’t do us any sort of good, would it?” The Caorern glares at the female Cu Sith for a moment before trying to struggle against his bonds once more. The entirety of the group had been captured, tied up, and discarded like used cardboard boxes after they had been forced to turn over all of their belongings.
The Cait Sith girl closes her knees, feeling that her most sensitive area had been growing colder and colder within the past few minutes. “Oh, why hadn’t those daft idiots not given me a towel…?” She struggles for a moment or two more before her ears perk up. “Um… everyone? Do you hear that?” A good number of the group widen their eyes before perking their ears… “It sounds like… clanging metal…?”
Just then, the door that leads to the outside of the room opens with a quick “SWISH!” sound! The group turns their heads towards the doorway, and watch as a group of six dark blue robotic figures make their way into the room, walking in sync with each other. Their metal frames bound into the room, each step letting out a dull sonorous “THUD” sound with it. In no time, these robotic assailants are all within the room, and the group are sitting there with their eyes wide.
“Wai’, y’ kiddin’ me! We ‘av’ tae deal with ruddy Securidroids nae?!” The emerald colored Cu Sith sits there in his seat, his member still flagging upwards as much as before. Oh, why hadn’t this thing gone down yet…? Either way, he sits there, looking unnerved at the sight of the new robotic additions to the room. With that sight, the entirety of the group starts to break through their bonds once again, once again without much of a good hold on their freedom.
The Cait Sith female sits there in the buff, her black hair becoming slightly matted as it dries… She needed to get it brushed if she wanted to feel any better about her situation, but maybe she could find a way to get out of here… Wait, she felt cool air on her hind end. She looks behind her to see the seat that had kept the five of them in there. Were… Were they all just tied up and put into these chairs? They could hop around. They… They can hop around and get out of there! She looks to her comrades.
“Come on, then, up and at them, as the saying goes! We can take them, right? After all, these are just mass produced models! They have a major flaw once their gyroscopic sensors are short circuited! Besides, we only have a bit of time left before those thugs end up getting away with our supplies!” And like that, the Cait Sith female hops forward towards one of the rotating robotic security guards, and rams her shoulder into its chest! And soon enough, the rest of the group are up on their feet, and are trying to engage with the group of robots.
The elf girl has a smirk on her face as she watches one of the nearby Securidroids hold its metallic pincer towards her. There’s a small, yet high-pitched whine in the air right before she tackles the metallic monstrosity to the floor, where a few of the internal components spark, sputter, and whine before the robot lies on the floor, motionless. “YAAAAAAAAAA-HOOOOOO!!”
She smirks and jumps to her feet before making sure that the robotic minion was down. “Take that, y’ pixelated idjit!” She looks up once more to see the emerald-colored Cu Sith hop up, and do a dive kick to one of the robots, sending it flying to the wall! It sputters and falters before falling to the floor.
“An’ ye’ ta’e tha’, y’ blighter!” He winces for a moment before righting himself  from his spot on the floor. That had certainly hurt, didn’t it? Especially with that landing he took… He really needed his hands free at some point. Nevertheless, he stands up just in time to watch the female Cu Sith start to tear and gnaw away at her Securidroid’s exposed wiring. Thankfully, due to the damage that she had done, the thing was already down, so she most likely didn’t need to do much other than get it non-functional. Once she’s done, she stands up, a piece of the Securidroid’s armor plating still in her maw.
Meanwhile, the Caorern had simply done the same thing as the male Cu Sith, and had done a kick with his own bound legs, but unlike his acquaintance, he had slammed the side of the robot’s legs just as it had fired off a dull green shot of electricity, causing it to topple and short circuit like the others had. The green bolt of pain whizzed its way through the air, and had struck another of its kind, causing the last of the robots to sputter and fall over, motionless.
The Cait Sith and the green canine let out sighs of relief before hopping and shimmying their ways towards the door. “Come on, then! Let’s try and find a way out of these things.” And like that, the rest of the group makes their way out through the open door. After the five of them had made their ways through the halls and turns that littered the ship, they all let out a sigh of relief…
The emerald green Cu Sith hops his way into the Bridge, his member having since subsided from its throbbing attention. With each hop, it flops along the outside of his under-clothing, still dripping every now and then with pre-cum. The elf female is next in the room, her breasts bobbing up and down with each hop she takes. After the elf, we have the Cait Sith female. She hops into the room, and looks around the place to try and figure out what was around that she could possibly use to pry off her binds. However, as she hops, she’s giving the female Cu Sith a dark-furred sight: her rump, still exposed to the air, had been bounding up and down with her in time with her hops, and had been a slight distraction.
Speaking of the Cu Sith female, something out of the corner of her eye catches her attention. After turning towards that “something”, her eyes go wide, and she suddenly bounds towards the side wall of that room. She accidentally knocks the elf girl to the ground, causing her headset to clatter off underneath one of the nearby consoles. She lets out a grunt as she hits the ground. “Oof! Gaw’ damn, that hurt… What was… thayat… for…?” She blinks at the sight of the nearby wall.

SELF DESTRUCT - T MINUS  30 SECONDS

The group blinks for a moment. There was… no way, right? The Cu Sith duo blinked at the sight of that bright blue display. After looking at each other for a split second, they both start to frantically press each and every button they can with whatever they can, whether it be with fingers, toes, or noses, they had to figure out how to get that countdown to stop, and fast! Without a moment to lose, they try every sort of combination that they can reach, but, by the time the timer reads “10 Seconds”, they both flop to the floor, tears streaming from their faces…
“Nae, nae, no’ loike this… No’ a’ all…” The emerald green canine starts to breathe faster and faster, his heart rate causing his member to rise up and twitch in time with his frantic rhythm. The female canine shakes her head, and just leans forward towards her knees. She was starting to feel sick. She didn’t want to go out like this… Well, she had always wanted to go out in a blaze of glory, but not one fueled by overloaded nuclear pellets and especially not as tied up as she was at the moment. The Cait Sith female lets out a shriek at the sight of her friends falling to their knees.
“I-I-I-I don’t want to die!! Please!! Please let this be a joke! I don’t want this to happen!”
“O-O-Oh shiet, this was all real!? Oh no, oh my! Please let this be in the simulation!!! Please! AH’ JUS’ WANTED TO HAVE SOME FUN FER’ ONCE!”
The Caorern lets out a small sigh, drops to his rear, and leans his head forward… Once he had been captured, he knew that there wasn’t much he could do anyway, and now his life was going to be thrown away for it all… Nevertheless, at least he was able to do some good in his life.


Meanwhile, outside of that massive ship in the middle of the vacuum of space, things were quiet, as it had always been there. The ship itself seemed peaceful, if not as bright as it had been once it had gotten into the sector. It was almost nice to see such a thing exist and drift along without a care for the world. However, in an instant, where the ship had existed a moment before, there was nothing but a large fireball, and a large amount of debris flying in every sort of conceivable direction. The pieces of that now-destroyed shuttle started to drift and fling themselves as far apart as they were able.
However, shooting out from that rubble at an inconceivable speed were five tubes of chrome-covered steel, each travelling near the speed of light into the ever-growing expanse of space. It seems as though the ship had scanned its interior to check for any sort of survivor before the “Self Destruct” process had completed, and had engraved a sort of “tombstone” to be shot into space before everything was destroyed. The tubes had each of the names of the crew members aboard the ship, and had laser-etched them into the metal in as official a script as possible, followed by a good paragraph of slightly distorted text.

For the ones who thought that they could get away: You’re all as dumb as you look! Thanks fer’ as much Elerium Crystals and Cargo as y’ got, you chuds! He he he, you all should have seen the look on your faces! Absolutely stupid and not even worth the respect of a Space Pirate! Here’s hopin’ y’ die in that damn explosion so the Bojack Clan don’ have to take you out again! Oh, and thanks fer’ the two tons of Elerium fer us! Also, that Jambalaya wasn’t even as good as m’ chef could make it, so you didn’t even get a good last meal!

Fer’ the two canines - you two smell worse than my shag carpet after I spilled a milkshake in it, and left it to fester fer a month!
Fer’ the Little Kitty - y’ certainly look better with y’ clothes on, don’t ye’?!
Fer’ the elf bitch - I wouldn’t mind a bit o’ playin’! Can ye’ blame me?
Fer the Sheepy Asshole - Next time, y’ might wanna consider actually havin’ yer’ gun loaded!

	Eat Space Dust an’ don’ come back!
	-Captain Barbarosa Bojack XXIV