I'm Not Your Renfield, Am I? (v1.1)

Tags: Male Vampire Psychiatrist / Human Female Patient, minor injury and blood, aphrodisiac, fingering, vaginal sex
Alludes to non-consensual sex acts

He came early that morning when she was still sleeping and she woke up to the sound of the door opening.

She rolled over in her skinnier-than-twin bed to confirm his identity and sighed. Pink morning light was trying to get into the room through the construction paper that the young woman had been taped over the window and the dim illumination that made it through the paper was the only light between them. She kept her eyes on the man--he only came in early when he needed something extra from her.

"Good morning Lizzie," Doctor Ryan said. He paused.  "I have a few favors to ask of your today."

The girl sat up slowly. She was slender and pale, wearing a white shirt and pants issued to her. "What is it?" Her suspicion was justified.

The doctor shut the door behind him and leaned on it, crossing his arms uncomfortably. "I'm going to show you to some men today who fund my work." He somehow managed to be as pale as she was, either of them could almost have blended in with the white walls of the hospital if not for their darker hair.

She looked hesitant, rubbing sleep out of her brown eyes.  She hated people seeing her, looking at her. "Showing me to them for your real work, or just the stuff you do to me?"

Lee Ryan walked forward a few steps and sat down in Lizzie’s chair in front of her mostly-bare desk and turned it to look at her. He pushed his glasses up his nose with a sigh. "My private work."

"So what do I have to do?" She cocked her head. Lizzie had limits in a lot of places. She wasn’t in the mental hospital as a long-term resident for no reason, even if she did exaggerate her symptoms on occasion to avoid contact with people other than Doctor Ryan.

“I’m going to show my process to a few people and if they like it, we’ll see where we can go from there.”

"What?" she shook her head no. It was one thing for her to have to deal with strangers, but a whole other kind of stress knowing that they would see Dr. Ryan's very revealing process on her body. It had already been complicated enough to work out a peaceful agreement with this doctor to where Lizzie didn't fight him at every opportunity. It had taken her months to trust him even after they had cemented their deal, especially due to a rocky start that didn’t even involve her illness. She didn’t want to have to interact with strangers, let alone bring them into the messy deal.

He held up a hand to ask for her silence. "Please. This is the last thing I have to do and then it’s all done. The whole project. I won't let them touch you, they’re only here to see how it works once and then I will have them leave."

The girl hugged herself miserably, compressing her body with her arms to try to give herself a sense of calm. "Bring me lots of books," she tried to bargain. "And I need more paper and pens. And I want to see more movies."

The doctor nodded. "That's a fair deal." His eyes swept over the small and spartan room.

 He knew he was asking a lot of her, so he did his best to make sure she was as comfortable as she could be. Even if she wasn't as sick as she pretended to be, this would still not be good for her. "I'll be quick with you when they're here, Lizzie."

She nodded. Her cheeks were red and she was embarrassed by the prospect of being observed when she was at her most vulnerable. Her hand went up to her shoulder to massage the series of aging and healed lines on her skin, wounds that people were supposed to assume were the product of self-harm. They were always on her mind and whenever she had to interact with people other than Doctor Ryan she could have sworn that they also stared at her shoulders even when she had a thick shirt on.

She was sick constantly with a miserable fear of unknown people and places that no amount of exposure therapy had cured in her childhood. No pacing had helped her and eventually she had been left in the hospital by parents sick of her refusing to leave the safety of her basement. And now her already tremendous anxiety would be worse today because she was going to be seen by outsiders. The idea of strangers in her room made her nauseated and she shook as the hot flower of panic bloomed in her heart and spilled fire into her blood.

Lee saw this and stepped over to her, putting a cool hand on her forehead and pulling a white pill from his pocket to slip between her teeth. She held it in her mouth dissolve under her tongue to be absorbed.

"I know you'd rather hear it now than see it later so I'll tell you what I know," he said, petting her head. He sat down on the edge of her bed. "Three males and a female. Two older than me, two younger than me."

"Are they like you?" she asked. Her hand closed around the loose fabric of his sleeve at his wrist.

"Different," he replied. She frowned, but attempted to control herself with carefully measured
breaths.

"Do they suck?" she asked. An attempt at humor to calm herself down. The medicine under her tongue was rapidly dissolving and while she hated the bitter taste she could already feel the effects. Or she was so used to feeling the effects when he gave her these pills that her brain was filling in the blanks early.

He smiled gently and looked at the marks he had left on her skin, little ragged lines. It was a shame she scarred. "Yes. They suck. But they won't do it to you."

That was reassuring to some extent. "Do they look weird?"

"Kind of," he said. "They have to wear make-up, but look for their ears when they get here, you might see a clue."

She felt the medicine starting to make her feel numb to her panic, throwing a blanket over the problem that she couldn't make go away. Lizzie lay down on the bed but kept clinging to Lee's sleeve. "I'll look for it."

He kept petting her long brown hair until her eyes shut and her breathing slowed enough that she fell back to sleep and released his sleeve so that he could leave her room.



Doctor Ryan waited near the entrance of the hospital to receive his guests. They had all the fake identification they would need to get in and he had already given all of the information to the minimal security employed at the hospital. This would look like any visit from any outside doctor looking to consult with him. It would look normal, human.

He could spot the small group immediately when they entered by their uncomfortable blinking as they adjusted to their light-dampening contact lenses. Lee was used to his, but he also didn’t need them as badly as these strangers. Their sunscreen/make-up wasn't spread as evenly as it should have been to secure their disguises, but they could have looked worse. He intercepted them and immediately shook their hands, introduced himself.

"Your hands are warm," one remarked with surprise. His ears were covered by a short, but shaggy amber wave of hair.

Lee pulled a hand-warmer from his pocket. "I go through several of these a day, never go anywhere without them," he explained. "People used to complain about cold hands, especially patients."

"That's damn clever," remarked one of the visitors.

“And what type of work do you do in this place that you have patients?” One of the older men asked. “Normally, I mean.”

“I’m a psychiatrist,” Doctor Ryan said. "Occasionally I handle labwork too when it’s needed," He smiled. The elders  did not find him even half as charming as his coworkers did.

"This better be worth the trip down here." He scowled and turned away.

"I'm excited to see this in action, you made it sound very promising," The female commented. "Have you tested it on both sexes?"

"I haven't tried on a male, but I am almost certain that it wouldn’t have the desired effect," He said. “I can explain better when I show you the process.”

"Well if it works on half of the population that’s still good."

Doctor Ryan nodded. He said, "Follow me, I'll show you how it works. I've briefed my patient already."

"How much does she know?" asked a tall visitor.

"Everything but your names and jobs," he said. "I think it's important to disclose as much as I can to the people I'm working with."

He expected some snide remark or pushback against his comment and was ready to argue his case, but the men shared a look and accepted his position, which pleased him.

Lizzie was awake when her doctor returned, reading one of the many books he had smuggled in for her. She dogeared the paperback's page and put the book on her side table before hugging her knees to her chest reflexively.

Her eyes darted between Doctor Ryan's recognizable and calming face and the faces of the people she knew were not like her or him. She checked their ears, and sure enough she saw where they came to form subtle points. Their inhumanity didn't scare her. It was just their presence. They could have been children and she would have been just as bothered by them. She didn't make eye contact, and instead stared at the wall between their heads.

"This is Elizabeth," Lee explained to the men. "She is the only person I have fed on for the last year."

The visitors stared at him in amazement. How was she alive? They usually killed their food while feeding whether they wanted to or not.

"I've perfected a way to make her more nourishing," he explained. He passed a hand warmer between his palms as he spoke, then traded it in his pocket for a syringe. "The trick is to remember that we eat life, not just blood. A human who is going to die doesn't feel very alive, so we get almost no nutritional value eating one, but that's how we've been doing it for millennia. My system is to feed when the human feels most alive. Ready, Lizzie?"

She hesitated, then scooted forward on the bed. This was like ripping off a bandage. She pulled off her pants and t-shirt, sitting in her underwear politely for him to press the needle into a vein in her neck. She was always a good sport about needles. She held still, was patient for him even when she felt the cold tickle of the chemical start to run through her body. Lee withdrew the needle and capped it, set it on her bedside table. Lizzie slumped back on her bed as she felt the familiar weakness that came with the stuff.

"And what did you just give her?" asked one of the men.

"A drug of my own design," Doctor Ryan explained. “It dramatically weakens the subject very briefly, almost to the point of paralysis, though she does maintain her senses. At the same time… you’ll see.”

He sat on the edge of the bed where the girl lay dizzy and pulled her into his lap with his appropriately warmed hands. Lizzie cooed softly at every touch. Every contact to her skin was pleasurable and electric, but dim as if she was feeling it through a memory. Her breathing was loud and ragged already. Ryan turned her body to show the visitors, gently lifting one of Lizzie’s thighs while the tiny part of her that was awake shriveled inside with fear of their judging gaze. They all saw what the chemical had done to her: there was a wet spot on her white panties that signaled her body's excitement. All of them caught the scent of a young woman ready for sex.

“You see?” Doctor Ryan said, and they nodded in a studious and detached fashion--to their eyes, Lizzie was more like cattle than a person. He lowered her thigh and moved his hand to her crotch. He pressed his fingers against her clitoris and elicited a weak moan from her. Her body was sweating and hot to the touch. More, every inch of her skin demanded. More pleasure, more touch, more pressure. She wanted to move to help herself along, but the drug forbid it. She whined to him to get on with it, the sound falling deeper into a groan of pleasure as he did what she wanted and grabbed her left breast and gave it a squeeze.

"She can't get much louder than that little moan when she is like this," he explained. Maximum volume was important for any of their kind to know when dealing with food, especially if the food was involuntary. "Or she'd be shouting how good this feels. Can you see her shaking? That's an entirely involuntary movement."

They nodded. The girl was only distantly aware of her own trembling body other than the fact that she needed Ryan to touch her more and play with her. She would have accepted anything--rough, gentle, whatever--to ease the pressure in her loins.  Her swollen clitoris was so sensitive that just wearing underwear that were tight against her labia was almost enough to help her finish. Instead it left her teetering on the edge and she couldn't stand that.

Doctor Ryan moved Lizzie's underwear aside and pressed two fingers inside of her with practiced skill. He was fast. Generations ago, he mused, relieving women of their 'lunacy' this way had been part of his daily work. After a few moments of holding her twitching body still and rubbing the pads of his fingers against her inner walls, Lizzie moaned softly again and came, squeezing at his fingers with her shuddering, wet hole. The tightening of the muscles across her body was obvious to the visitors’ eyes, but more than anything they listened to her racing heartbeat.

"And that's her orgasm," Lee explained to the visitors, slyly smug. Even with her head swirling with pleasure behind her eyes, Lizzie felt a coldness in her heart knowing that the visitors were so far removed from her human experience that they likely needed to have heard her staggered breathing to remember how to recognize someone in pleasure.

Doctor Ryan went on, "It is the height of feeling alive in a positive way. And because of that, right now is the best time to feed."

Cradling her head and tilting it aside, he brought his face down to her shoulder. Lee's pointed, serpentine fangs unfolded from the roof of his mouth and met the girl's flesh. He raked his head back and used the sharp tips to leave parallel scores on her shoulder where hot blood welled up. The process didn't hurt Lizzie, who felt the pain only dimly, as if she was having a root canal, not strong enough to distract her from the heat between her legs. Lee shuddered with his own excitement, retracting his fangs in favor of running his tongue over the wounds he had left.

His saliva discouraged immediate coagulation. His fingers remained inside of the girl and began pumping again to force on a second orgasm, and then he positioned her to straddle his thigh so that her clitoris could rub against him while he focused on voraciously lapping up every drop of her blood from the cuts he had left. He knew he was judged for his breed by the suckers who watched him, but unlike Lizzie he couldn’t bring himself to care about their gaze.

"All in all, I end up with less than a half a pint of blood," he explained between messy slurps at her skin. “And that’s enough for two weeks.”

That was all it took for him to seal the deal, and when he was done drawing his cold tongue over her shoulder Lizzie was left to recover from the drug over the next half hour while he worked out minutiae with his new business partners.



That night, Lee returned to Lizzie’s room. There were no cameras in the hospital, that only upset the patients (he told the staff). And he was as quiet as anyone could hope to be.

She was mildly surprised, but sleepy and passive. “Why are you here?” she asked.

“I wanted to thank you again,” he said. “Since we didn’t speak after I ate. You helped me finish something I’ve been working on for a very long time. I wouldn’t have been able to do this without you. You’ve been invaluable to me.”

She smiled slightly. “It’s not like I was working on anything else.”

He sat on the side of her bed and she sat up too, letting him pull her to his body in a lazy half-hug. She was only wearing a white t-shirt tonight.

“You’re all warm,” she commented, touching his hand and then feeling at his knee and chest to check to see if the temperature was uniform.

“I’ve been soaking in a hot bathtub for the last few hours,” he said. Her bed was too thin for them to lie on it parallel, so he slid past her and sat behind her with his back against the headboard and Lizzie leaning against him with her back to his chest. Lee wrapped her in his arms. “I thought you would appreciate it.”

She did. She shut her sleepy eyes again. “Did you come here just to thank me?”

Even though she was scared by so many people, she had the same internal cravings for physical closeness and intimacy that everyone had. Having desires that her fears denied her was mostly an accepted part of her life by now, but Lizzie still dreamed. She liked to be held. Even if it was by someone who had been eating her.

“No,” he said. He took her left hand gently and held it, turning it over to look at her palm and forearm. He was here because he was finished. And while he appreciated her help, she was a failure in other ways. How long had she been here? Years. How many visitors had she had? None, even though both parents were still alive. She was rotting, stagnating here worse than she realized. He couldn’t fix her here while he had been too busy with his own project.

He was the only person she trusted anymore. And he was planning on leaving, pursuing selling his product. When he was gone she would have nothing to read or watch or write with, and she would have no one she could trust. She would be alone with her sickness again. He couldn’t let that happen.

“I’m going to resign from this place,” he explained. “I would like if you withdrew from the program and came with me.”

She shuddered. “Are you crazy? I can’t go outside.”

“You’re an adult, you can leave whenever you want. It would be one outside trip. Half an hour in a car. And then you can stay in my house.”

Lizzie continued to quake, so Lee held her tightly. The last time she had been outside had been coming to the hospital years ago. But she couldn’t stay in the ward anymore because without him she would have no one to communicate with, and somehow that idea of total loneliness was even more terrifying than any of her preexisting conditions. And she couldn’t leave the hospital and go to her parents because they didn’t have any patience for her sicknesses. She couldn’t just go outside and live life.

“Okay,” she said. “But I want a way to hide on the way there.”

“You can lie down in the back seat of the car,” he said, touching her cheek. That was how they had brought her here, hiding under blankets. “And because I know how much you hate seeing this beautiful world I will blindfold you if you like. But I think it would be good for you if you peeked out.”

She shook her head adamantly and he didn’t press the issue. He kissed her cheek to reassure her. “I will take care of you. I’ve ignored healing you for too long, I’ve been selfish about my own project.”

“Will I be your patient?”

With his lips pressing her hair against her ear, he admitted, "I was never really a doctor to you."

That was true, even if it was a thought that Lizzie avoided. He had ceased to be her doctor when he had started using her as his guinea pig almost from the moment that she had been put into the hospital. As one of the least willing of his patients to communicate with people while being physically the healthiest, she had been the ideal choice for his testing.

At first he had relied on his natural ability to sneak, to come and go unnoticed. He used drugs to facilitate this. The girl was supposed to believe that she had a nightmarish wet dream. She was supposed to believe that she cut her shoulder in her sleep as some kind of self-harm, and he had marked it as such on his notes as her doctor.

Lizzie was too clever for him, though. She didn’t believe his stories when she woke up from those dreams. She had noticed that they were occurring on a schedule. She had set a trap with a camera on a little music player and been able to observe the things he had done to her body after the fact. She had seen the fangs, and when he had come to her the next day pretending that everything in the world was normal, the first thing she said was, “I’ll make you a deal.”

They had managed a much more intimate relationship after he took her deal: She was willing food (and his studies did confirm that this made her more nutritious), and she got to be awake and he had to bribe her with media. He was enough of a monster to steal her blood but not enough of a monster to keep doing it once she knew what was happening, and when he had bent to her whims and accepted her arrangement, it had obliterated her fear.

She saw herself as being in charge of him and through that had forgiven his grievous transgressions quickly enough for a friendship for form.

She turned around to face him instead of laying with her back to him and made eye contact. At night he had no need for sun-blocking contact lenses or the fake glasses he used to distract people from the discolored look his contacts gave him. Lizzie examined his natural eyes for the first time since they had formed a partnership. His pupils were small even in the dark and his irises were yellow rings that reflected light. She looked like she had something to say but didn't know how to say it to him.

"You did great today." He changed the subject again."I didn't push you too hard, did I? The drug helped?"

“I hated those people,” she replied immediately, but that told Lee very little. She hated almost everyone. “Do they kill people?”

“Yes,” he didn’t want to lie to her. “Though the plan is that they won’t have to if they can keep their food happy while they eat.”

“And you invited them in here,” she said. “They can come back now.”

“It doesn’t actually work like that,” he murmured, giving her another squeeze. “They could have come any time. They won’t though.”

She exhaled. “I’m not your Renfield am I?”

“Please stop stereotyping me,” he joked.

“No, but really.”

Lee smiled. “I’m not Dracula. You’re sick but you aren’t Renfield.”

“Okay,” Lizzie said. She rested her forehead on his shoulder and straddled his lap. “I wish you came here more often.”

“I didn’t know if you would be this receptive,” he combed her hair with his fingers while she fit her lips over the skin of his neck and kissed at it. “What are you doing?”

She stopped and examined her work where she had left some saliva on his neck. “I wanted to see if I could leave a mark.”

“No hickeys, I don’t bruise,” he explained. His other hand crept up her thigh and he heard her inhale. “Good try, though.”

Lizzie grunted in defeat but rocked forward to pick up her rear end and encourage his touch. She wasn’t able to come up with any clever response, just, “Keep going.”

He squeezed the back of her thigh, then her ass. “Do you still feel the effects from…?”

“No, Lee, I’m just really turned on,” Lizzie was nearly ready to grab his hand and make him touch her like she was used to, but she heard something strange with her ear pressed against his body. “Is your heart beating?”

“Well,” he coughed, speaking in a low tone as if embarrassed, “It has to if I want an erection. Should I stop?”

“No,” she said, and his chest thrummed harder, a dead engine coming back to life. “I want it, I want to do it for real.”

It pleased him to be trusted and forgiven for bringing those strangers in earlier. It pleased him that after a year of using her body as a tool she was willing to give him a chance to enjoy it with her. The fingers of his groping hand reached for and teased at her labia.

She bit back a moan, not sure what she should do now that she wasn’t paralyzed for this. “I have no idea what I’m doing,” she confessed. “You spoiled me.”

“Maybe I did,” he chuckled, hands going to his pants to get them off. Pleasure was tingling into his body. Lee was even breathing heavily now, a habit resurrected with his heart--the two autonomic reflexes were inseparable. He purred in her ear, “But I’ll tell you this, if you think I was pushing it before you’re going to think I’m overdoing it after tonight.”

Lizzie blushed heavily and felt a shooting surge of arousal at his words. “This is so much better than the drug,” she muttered.

“Really?” that surprised him, but not enough to make him look up from his zipper. He got it open.

She nodded, snaking a hand down to grab at his erection through his underwear the moment his fly opened. A wide grin spread on her lips as he throbbed. “Yes,” she breathed.

He had to taste her now. He had to investigate. For his studies, he had to know… “Lizzie,” he started to ask.
She cut him off, pulling down his underwear to get at his cock. Lee groaned as nerves he hadn’t paid attention to in years remembered they existed and sparked pleasure to his brain. Yes, this was better than just drugging her. He grabbed her hips and pulled her to rub against the head of his erection.

“Do it,” she whispered, forgetting that she could have just as easily initiated the penetration. He didn’t need to be told twice to thrust up into her and bask in her living body’s warmth.

Lizzie barely bit back her moans, pressing her face to his neck to let them out against his skin along with small utterances of “Oh my god,” repeated again and again as he buried himself in her slowly to stretch her and remember what this felt like.

“How hard?” he asked, massaging her ass.

She was awed by the pleasant sensation of being penetrated, of having something alien-yet-welcome rubbing inside of her, pushing her to spread her legs wide to accommodate him. “Just don’t break my pelvis,” she moaned.

Lee rolled them both over on the bed and pressed Lizzie back into the thin mattress with his body, thrusting his hips into her slowly, controlling himself only barely. She was so wet that, just like when he drugged her, there was no resistance to him entering her. Lee always felt like Lizzie's body was trying to coax him into her as deeply as possible. When he felt the need to moan he pressed his lips to Lizzie’s, and she surprised him by wrapping her arms around him and weaving her fingers into his hair. He kept his fangs folded back and stuck to nipping at the girl--and being nibbled in return with human teeth.

He wanted to bite her lip hard enough to draw blood. He was confident that he could make it look like an accident. Thinking about it, he sped up his thrusts into her body.

Thankfully, Lizzie saved him from making a bad decision. “You can bite,” she panted. “I know you want my blood. I’m curious too.”

Without stopping the pounding motion of his hips, his face dove for her right clavicle and his fangs unfolded to leave a pair of thin slices on her flesh. The drops of blood he tasted at were like licking a battery. There was something to it other than just taste, something charged and powerful and jumped into his body. He would have kept licking at her skin if she hadn’t started to tug at his hair to pull him up to look at her.

“I’m gonna come,” she panted. Unlike Lee’s impeccably clear skin, she had turned rosy. She tried to hold herself back and master her quivering body to keep herself from orgasm because she wanted to last and last with him, but she could already tell that just like when he drugged her she was not going to be able to stop herself.

“Do it,” he growled playfully. “Or I’ll make you do it.”

If she could have blushed harder, she would have. It was only a few more thrusts with loud, wet slapping sounds as their skin met before she gasped and came, moaning in little staggered bursts. Pushing himself as deeply into her as possible and squeezing her hips, Lee let go of himself and came with her, wrapping Lizzie up in his arms and rolling back onto his back with her on top. For a long moment she tried to catch her breath.

“I’ll come with you when you leave,” she said finally.

Lee cupped her cheek in his hand. “Yes. We need to do more tests.”