A morning of Hanako

## A morning of Hanako ##

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Hearing the distant beeping of my alarm wakes me up.
I lay in bed, looking at it for some time.
It's Monday.
I hate Mondays.
The thought of going to class makes my stomach turn.
Putting up with meaningless exercises, people pretending not to look at me...
Me pretending not to notice.

Maybe it's better to just go back to sleep.

But just before I surrender, I remember Lilly.
I told her I'll be in the tea room today...

My eyes turn to the doll she gave me, sitting on the shelf, by my books.
And I let out the final sigh of defeat.

I should go. I owe her that much.

I get up and begin preparing for the day.
Showered, ironed my uniform, gathered my backpack. Fixed a small breakfast.

Hmm... I shoud make something for Lilly.
A sandwich should be okay. I think she liked the bread toasted.

Okay, I should be ready.
It's time to go.


But I hesitate before exiting my room.

It's empty, still early for people to be outside, nothing to worry about.

I take a deep breath and open the door.
See, nobody here. Nobody.
Nothing to worry about.

My walk through the still nightly Yanaku courtyard is quick. Deserted as expected.

After unpacking the breakfast, I sit in wait for Lilly.
This room feels awfully empty without her. Maybe a tea would be nice right now.

Not long after, I hear her tap-like knocking.

"C—come in!"

The door is gently pushed aside. Lilly glides into the room, radiating beauty.

"Good morning Hanako," a faint smile tugs on the corners of her lips.

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"By the way, what time is it?"

Her question makes me realise just how quickly time has passed.
Ten minutes to the start of class.

"It's twenty past e—eight."

Her otherwise mellow expression melts away.
"I would have to go soon unfortunately."
"Would you want to come with me?" she asks as she turns slightly towards me.

"Y—yes..." It's for the better.

Lilly nods and gives me another one of her smiles.
"Well then, let us clean up."
The chess set, remains of the breakfast and tea cups have to stay here...

After we are done, she waits by the door as I prepare.
Standing tall, with her cane in hand, her long blonde hair flowing down her shoulders.
As if time flows differently around her.
Her white eyes open.

"Are you ready?"

"J—Just a bit longer..." I murmur.

"It's okay."

I can hear the students outside.
No matter how many times we do this, it always feels like it's the first time.
How is th—
Pointless.
I take a deep breath and glance at Lilly again.
How she waits peacefully.
Not even a shadow of emotion on her face.

Class is not too far away. It should be okay.

"W—we can go..."

She nods and I grab onto her arm.
We exit the tea room, together.

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As I wait in the classroom, I cannot help but wonder.

What do I do if Lilly is gone? What then?
She will not always be there. To help me, to play chess.

I close my eyes for a moment.

Not that it has not happened before.
I can move on, I can forget.

I remember Akiko though. Even when so much time has passed.
It was a sunny day, like this one. And she was gone.
Just like that.

That means nothing.
Lilly will not disappear like her, we are not in the orphanage anymore.


But... how am I so sure? What if... she does. What then...?


Remember how mom and dad were there? And the next day, they were not.

Remember the Hospital? All the promises the doctors made.

Remember how all the other kids were afraid?

Remember how Akiko was adopted, and you were not?

I remember telling her about the fire. And she told me about her dad, all the horrible things.
I remember how she used to stand up for me, when no one else did.

I remember our friendship.
But I never heard from her.

And I let it happen again.


Huh?
I feel somebody looking.
Our eyes meet before I manage to avert my gaze.
Who—

"...please welcome our newest classmate. Hisao Nakai..."
Mutou's words echo through the classroom.

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