Heartless 5: Atonement

*beep*
*beep*
*beep*
>Your eyelids slowly flutter open
>You are Fluttershy
>And you're dead
>Right?
>The growling in your stomach and the pain in your arm disagree
>Pain?
>A cursory scan finds an IV needle in your arm
>You eye the room groggily, confused
>The decor would suggest Ponyville Hospital
B-but how....
>You thought you'd done it
>You were sure you were finally done being hurt and neglected
>But no
>You failed
>You failed at ending your OWN LIFE
That's like failing at failing.....
>You say softly, tears falling and staining your paper gown
>You're content to wallow in your own self-pity, but it appears you have company
>A female unicorn in a candy-striped uniform pokes her head in the door
>'Good morning, Sleepyhead?  How are you feeling?'

>I feel like my life sunk into a pit of despair so deep the only way out was to kill myself only to find that I couldn't even do THAT right
I feel okay
>Damn this Kindness to Hell and back again
C-can you tell me how I got here?
>She comes over and checks your IV drip
>'Oh, it seems you took a few too many sleeping pills and fell asleep in the tub'
>'You should be careful in the future, you could have really hurt yourself'
>Seriously?
>I ate that ENTIRE BOTTLE of pills
>No one can be this dense
Oh, no!
>The nurse smiles and says:
>'It was a good thing that Mr. Anon stopped by when he did, otherwise you wouldn't be here today'
Anon?
>Your head is swimming;  Why would Anon show up at your house?
>He generally wasn't the kind to stop by unexpectedly...
>This doesn't make sense
>'....Miss Fluttershy?'
>You snap back to reality and the nurse is looking at you, confused

I'm sorry, I was miles away.  What was that?
>'I said the front office said you had a guest, she's on her way.'
>'Also, you seem to be doing well, so I'm going to go tend some other ponies.'
>She turns to leave, but pauses and turns to you when she reaches the door
>'It's good to see that you're better now, Miss Fluttershy.  You gave us quite the scare'
It's good to be here
>As you say it, you believe it to be a lie
>But when you look around at all the color coming in from outside
>At what a beautiful day it is today
>You're reminded of a day, months ago, that was honestly one of the best days of your life
>It started out terribly, with Anon easily beating you at a game that you were too stupid to understand the rules to
>Everything was at stake, and as soon as it began you immediately broke a handful of rules
>Depressed (but not surprised) at your failure, you started walking home
>He stopped you, and asked if you wanted to spend the day with him
>You were so excited, he NEVER wanted to hang out
>(Well, not since he kissed you....)
>And the day just got better from there

>You walked around town together, visiting your friends and exploring the land
>A lot of the things scared you, but Anon seemed to understand it, and told you that nothing would hurt you
>You believed him
>You knew he'd keep you safe
>And then, at the end of the day, he walked you home
>And, oh joy of joys, he surprised you with a hug
>You were so happy right then, you savored every second
>But you got greedy, and grabbed his butt
>He jumped off of you like you were on fire, and left soon after
>As soon as you closed the door, you started hitting your head with your hooves, cursing yourself
>If you hadn't fondled him, the hug would have lasted longer, and he might have stayed
>But, despite that, you were the happiest you'd been in a while
>And, looking back on the memory, you begin to feel hopeful
>The good things in life sometimes make the bad worthwhile
>And besides, you even have a guest!
>Someone cared enough to visit!
>Deciding to postpone another suicide attempt, you eagerly await your guest
>That eager anticipation turns to a sour bitterness when you see:
Oh, hey Twilight

>The purple mare sheepishly smiles, her horn glowing purple as she levitates a 'get well soon' card over to your nightstand
What brings you here this fine day...
>You stare unblinking at her, hoping she'll get the hint that you don't really want to see her
Friend?
>You spit the word out like it's poisonous
>She winces
>'I deserve that'
>Slightly unexpected, but okay
>'I've been a terrible friend to you, and I'm glad you're awake now.'
>'Fluttershy, I'm so sorry about the other day.'
Oh what, the whole thing with Anon?  It's fine, I'm over it.
>'No Fluttershy.  It's not okay.'
>She's visibly shaking, trying to hold back tears
>'Rainbow... told us some things right before we found you'
>A rock settles in your stomach
Wh..what did she tell you?
>Pleasenononono..
>'She told us everything, Fluttershy.  Your parents, Sunburst, everything'

>'I'm so sorry.  We didn't know.'
>Your breaths quicken, and you avert Twilight's gaze
>So she knows
>Everyp0ny with the exception of one treated you like a victim when they found out
>You didn't want to be a victim, you just wanted to be like everyp0ny else...
>You don't need her pity
Twilight, I think it's best if you leave
>She nods, and says:
>'I understand if you don't want to see me, there's something I have to tell you....'
>'Anon and I... aren't together.'
>You feel a pang in your heart
>Did you cause this?
>As much as it hurt you, you really wanted to see Anon happy
>And you never wanted Anon to be unhappy because of you...
I-I'm so sorry, Twilight.  When did....
>You can't finish your sentence, because Twilight interrupts you

>'No, I mean we were never together.  Anon thought that if you thought he had a marefriend you would stop...'
>She looks like she's searching for a word
>'advancing on him'
>'I just went along for the ride'
>Your mind is racing
>He didn't love Twilight?
>He just wanted you to stop?
>He could have just asked.....
>You remember several times when he, at first politely, but getting more forceful near the end, asked you to stop
>You visibly cringe
So... this is my fault...
>Twilight looks shocked
>'N-no!  It's nop0ny's fault!  It all just kind of...'
>You interrupt her
No, Twilight, it's okay.  I know why he did it.
I know I was overreacting... but...
>Your throat begins to close as you tear up
I... I thought he loved me.... and I wanted him to love me....
>You break down into quiet tears, and Twilight comes over and puts her arms around you

>You weep in Twilight's arms for close to an hour, remembering everything you put Anon through
>Although what he did was the cruelest thing anyone had ever done to you, you still felt terrible
>After all, he wouldn't have done it if you hadn't pushed him to it
>But, huddled against someone who, just a few hours prior, you had written off as a whore and a backstabber, you have a realization
>As cliche' as it sounds, you realize that you can't run from your past
>Hiding a problem, or ignoring it completely, is the fastest way to repeat it
>The only way to move on and heal is to accept your past, flaws and all, and use it to shape your future
>To learn from your mistakes, so as not to make them again
>And as you calm down, you start to feel... good?
>This dread certainty should fill you with fear and anxiety
>After all, any stallion that you try and get close to is going to have to deal with this emotional void, and many won't be up to the challenge
>Instead, it makes you almost hopeful
>Because, there probably will be crying yourself to sleep
>There probably will be nights spent awake wishing someone would hold you
>But, there's a way that you can make sure that there aren't any more

Twilight...
>She breaks the embrace to look at you
I'm sorry if you worried yourself on my account
Looking back on it, I can see how I'm responsible for most of this mess
And, now that Anon knows why I was doing what I was doing...
>You feel a pang of regret upon the thought of Anon
... I hope he can understand.  At least enough to forgive me
>Twilight smiles, and says 'I'm sure he will.'
I hope so.
>You ring the buzzer for the nurse
>The same candy-striped unicorn pokes her head in
>'Is everything all right?'
It is, thank you.  I was just wondering when I might be able to leave
I'm feeling much better, and have some things I need to take care of

-----------------------------------

>Upon release from the hospital, with the heartfelt promise that you'd be more careful in the future, you and Twilight leave
>You feel fine, but Twilight insists on walking you home
>It's okay, you enjoy having company, especially on a beautiful day like today
>As you walk through town and experience all the vibrant colors, delicious smells, and friendly smiles of your neighbors you can't help but smile
Life is beautiful, Twilight
>Without turning to look at you, she smiles
>'It's good to have you back, Fluttershy'
>Well, I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for Anon, you think
>Speaking of Anon...
>You and Twilight see him standing across the street
>But he seems to have noticed you first

>He's paler than normal, all the color seemed to drain out of him
>He's glaring daggers into you with a scowl on his face
>His hands are balled into tight fists, and he's rigid with rage
>When he sees you notice him, he seems to break out of his trance, walking stiff-legged and jerkily back toward his house
>The bottom falls out of your stomach
H..he hates me...
>'I'm sure he doesn't hate you, it's probably just a human thing'
I don't know, Twilight.  He looked so ANGRY...
>You need to talk to him; to apologize
>First you're going to let Twilight finish walking you home, though
>Oh, no
>Home

>You remember the broken window, the water in the tub...
>The mattress stained with piss...
OH!  Hey, Twilight, I'm pretty sure I can take it from here, you can go home now, bye!
>She looks at you, puzzled
>'No, it's okay, I don't mind'
>'And besides, we're almost there'
>She continues to walk, and you notice you're one small hill away from seeing your house
>OhNo
>Well, she'll probably just drop me off and go home
>That won't be so bad
>'Hey Fluttershy, I need to use your restroom when we get there, I just realized how much I have to pee'
>SonOfABitch
Uhm.. okay...
>#Kindness
>You cringe as you both crest the hill overlooking your house
>But when you look, it seems.... perfectly normal?
>The window's not broken
>There appears to be a new door
>And a new lock
>You panic, you don't have a key
>But Twilight lifts up the welcome mat, pulls out a key, unlocks the door, and hands it to you
>'I hope you don't mind, but a few of us fixed up your house after Anon destroyed it'
>She smiles

>Anon... destroyed your house?
>Running inside, you notice everything has been cleaned and put back where it should be, the vase of flowers included
>Flying upstairs, you notice a lack of garbage, a new mattress, the carpet's been cleaned, and there's new wallpaper in the bathroom
>You fly back downstairs and Twilight is levitating a towel, washing her hooves
I.. I don't understand...  Why did Anon destroy my house?
>She smiles, and then begins to tell you of how Angel warned them about you possibly hurting yourself
>How Anon, without a second thought, took off toward your house
>How he tore your door to pieces trying to get inside
>And how, once inside, he stressed himself to the point of collapse to make sure you were okay
>But.. he hates you, right?
>That was definitely anger on his face...
>You thank Twilight for escorting you home, and you hug before she leaves
>As soon as she's out of sight, you fly as fast as you can to Anon's house
>You need to find out what's going on
>You arrive, and knock on the door
>No answer
>....
Anon?  Are you home?
*knock knock knock*
>.....
>'......go away, Fluttershy.'

>You wince
>He really does hate you
N.. not before I say something
>You swallow your nerves, and announce:
I.. I'm sorry, Anon
I didn't know I was making you feel so uncomfortable
Twilight told me Rainbow Dash told you about my past, so I hope you can understand why I'd be so desparate for your affection...
>Silence from the other side of the door
I..it's okay.  I understand if you hate me...
I'll leave you alone now....
>You really thought he'd at least listen to you
>You've said your piece, though, and that's all you can do
>You turn around, sighing, and begin to slowly flap your way back to your house
>Just as you're airborne, however, the door explodes and something large and heavy rushes out and hits you in the chest
-------------------------------------------------------------


>You are Anon
>And the days since Fluttershy attempted suicide have been the most thorough and complete mental torture anything could visit upon you
>Everything reminds you of that day
>Fixing her house, more specifically being in a house reminding you so strongly of Fluttershy, burned your heart like a hot knife
>But you forced yourself to do it
>You went out of your way to not correct p0nies when they thanked you and called you a hero
>You forced yourself to go visit Fluttershy every day
>All specifically to make sure your heart was torn out as often as it could be
>You deserve it
>You deserve ALL of it
>The kind words that drag across your psyche like razor blades
>The image of Fluttershy in a hospital bed will forever be scarred into your memory
>The sound of the sink running sent you into a full-blown P.T.S.D flashback of Fluttershy floating in the tub
>You shiver
>Never forget
>Never repeat
>You woke up this morning with things you needed to do

>Fluttershy was due to wake up in the next few days, and you wanted to horde food so you didn't have to leave the house for a few days
>You didn't want to be out and about and accidentally run into her, lest you dredge up any bad feelings and have her try and kill herself again
That's bullshit and you know it
>Fine, fuck you
>You don't want to see Fluttershy because, as much as you deserve it, it's going to hurt a lot worse than it already does
>You're going to leave her be for a few days, and then leave a note on her door explaining that you're going to go out of your way to avoid her
>It's the coward's way out and you know it, but at least you won't hurt her anymore
>She doesn't deserve it
>All she wanted was for you to love and accept her....
>WOULD THAT HAVE BEEN SO HARD, YOU ASSHOLE?
>You wince
>Probably not, but it's too late now
>You leave the house to commence your shopping
>And are blindsided by the sight of a yellow and pink pegasus across the street from you
>She's up already?

>Oh God this hurts
>Every scrap of rage, guilt, shame, depression, and self-loathing collects in your soul
>And you unleash it all upon yourself
>You go pale, and all the air is sucked out of your lungs
>Your hands hurt from how hard you're balling your fists
>You can feel yourself rattling apart
>Just being in her presence is rending your soul to bits
>And you force yourself to endure it
>Because you deserve it
>The only thing that snaps you out of this self-destructive spiral is the fact that you notice Fluttershy staring at you
>She looks distraught, wide-eyed and mouth agape at the sight of you
>OH GOD MY HEART
>Just as you thought, just seeing you reminds her of everything
>MUST FLEE

>Stiff-legged, you stutterstep your way back to your house, close the door, and collapse next to it, shaking
>You decide that the floor is a good place to lay, and try to relax a bit
>As long as you stay in the house, she doesn't have to see you
>You sigh in relief, and enjoy the feeling of the cold wood on your bare face and arms
*knock knock knock*
>Who could that be?
>Whatever, if it's important they'll come back
>You continue to lay prone
>Silence
>'Anon?  Are you home?'
>You feel your blood run cold, and she knocks again
>Why is she here?
>Why would she seek you out after you hurt her so badly?
>Nothing good can come from this
......go away, Fluttershy
>The words pain you to say

>'N.. not before I say something'
>'I.. I'm sorry, Anon'
>Wait, WHAT
>'I didn't know I was making you feel so uncomfortable'
>'Twilight told me Rainbow Dash told you about my past, so I hope you can understand why I'd be so desparate for your affection...'
>So let me get this straight, you drove her to suicide and SHE'S apologizing to YOU?
>This is too much
>You're in so much emotional pain it feels like you're going to cry your soul out your eyes
>You can't speak;  you can barely breathe
>'I..it's okay.  I understand if you hate me...'
>I DON'T HATE YOU
>'I'll leave you alone now....'
>PLEASE DON'T
>You tear open the door and launch yourself at her, tackling her out of the air

>You put her in the tightest hug you can manage, and start sobbing, loudly and without shame, into her mane
I-I'M SO S-S-S-SORRY, FLUTTERSHY!
>You can barely speak through your tears
I.. I never wanted.... wanted you to hurt yourself...
>Your breath is coming in ragged gasps, and you're too emotionally destroyed to think of what to say
>So you begin vomiting pieces of feelings everywhere
I.. I didn't know...  And then I talked to Twilight...  and then I didn't see you for a few days and I thought it worked...
>You're vaguely aware you're going too fast to make sense, but you don't care
...And then Rainbow yelled at us... and then Angel found me... had to protect you...
...pulled you from the water... thought you were.... you were so c-c-cold....
>You hug her even tighter and start sobbing harder, your tears matting down her fine, pink hair
I WAS SO S-S-SCARED I LOST YOU, FLUTTERSHY!
>You degenerate into a wailing, shaking mess, clutching Fluttershy like a drowning person clutches a life preserver
>Through your sobs, you can hear her... singing?
>'Hush now, quiet now, it's time to lay your sleepy head...'
>She's singing to you, and softly caressing the back of your head as you bury your face in her neck
>You slowly start to calm down, relaxing while listening to her serenade you

>Finally, you're composed enough to be breathing reasonably normally
>You're still shaking slightly, but you're not hysterical
>She pulls away from you to ask:
>'There.  Isn't that better?'
Yes, Fluttershy.  Thank you
>you say, wiping the last vestiges of tears from your eyes
>'I'm sorry for everything I put you through, Anon.'
Don't you apologize to me.  If anything, I should be begging YOUR forgivness.
I was wrong to do that to you.  Please forgive me.
>She pulls you in for a hug
>'I forgive you'
>You both sit there for a while, enjoying the embrace
>'I guess we both messed this up, didn't we?'
It seems so
Don't you ever scare me like that again, Fluttershy
I don't know what I would do without you

>Woah, woah, what?
>Did you just say that?
>Fluttershy seems to be thinking the same thing, breaking the embrace and looking into your eyes
>'D-do you really mean that?'
>You think for a second
>And it hits you, all at once
>You DON'T know what you would do without her
>You can't imagine living without her
>That's why you fought so hard to save her life
>It's why you rejected her attempts to guess your fetish so many times;  she wasn't acting like herself and it scared you
>That's why you'd thought it was strange to think of her as a 'friend' anymore
>She's much more than that now
>Finally, you answer her
>You put your arms around her and rest your forehead on hers
Yes, Fluttershy.  I do.
>Her eyes go wide, and she starts shaking
>And slowly, tentatively, she goes in for a kiss
>And for the first time, you don't stop her
----------------------------------------------

>The next few weeks progressed in much the same way that the past few months had
>Morning routine:
>Shit, shower, shave
>Go downstairs
>Hear a knock at the door
>Open it to find Fluttershy standing there
>And that's about where the similarities end
>You give her a kiss, let her inside, and usually she makes breakfast for the two of you
>You never really asked for this to happen, but you were spending all your time together
>Well, most of your time

>You both insisted on living in separate houses, more for practicality than anything else
>She couldn't move all the animals to your house and, despite your temporary truce, you and Angel still couldn't stand each other
>You could always live with her, but truth be told you couldn't go near that upstairs bathroom
>Too many memories scarred into your brain
>Despite that, though, you still managed to do what most other couples do
>Helping her care for the animals
>Going grocery shopping
>Sharing a blanket while watching a movie
>Strangely enough, though, not as much sex as you'd figure
>After everything that happened, you told her you wanted to take it slowly
>Fluttershy agreed, and confided in you that she really wanted her first time to be special
>The only reason she was pushing the fetishes on you is because she thought it was the only way to make you like her
>Fine by you;  honestly, you could wait
>You were happy

>You still chuckle when you think about it:
>If you would have told yourself three years ago that you'd be dating a candy horse
>Sorry, pony
>Dating a candy 'pony', and honestly be happy with it, you wouldn't have believed yourself
>Wait, three years?
>You tick back your memories, and.... yeah
>You've been in Equestria for almost three years
>Pinkie will probably be happy to hear of this;  she's always in the mood for a party
>The rest of the day progresses as normal;  helping Fluttershy with her animals, various errands, etc
>But after dinner, while you're cuddling under a blanket, her hoof works it's way down and starts rubbing your thigh
>She gives you her best sultry look and asks:
>'Uhm, is it okay if I spend the night here tonight?'
>You grin, pick her up, throw her over your shoulder and march up the stairs
>'I take it that's a 'yes'?'
---------------------------------

>Several hours later....
>You swing your legs off the bed and slide off, making your way to the bathroom
>One thourough weasel-draining later, you catch a glimpse of yourself in the mirror
I didn't know hooves could even LEAVE scratch marks
>You chuckle and make your way back to the bed, where the contented pile of putty formerly known as Fluttershy is happily dozing
>You cuddle up behind her, and she lets out a quiet moan of pleasure
>As you enjoy the warmth of her body against your bare chest, you realize something
Hey, Fluttershy
>She slowly flips around so that she's facing you
>'Yes, honey?'
I love you
>'I know'  She smiles
I just realized that I've never actually said it to you
But I do.
I love you, Fluttershy.
>She cuddles up closer to you, and kisses you on the forehead
>'I know. I always knew you did, even if you didn't want to admit it'
>'I love you too, Anon.'
>You continue to hold each other and, slowly but surely, sleep takes you both
--------------------------------------

>You groggily wake up the next morning
>Fuck, it's cold
>And this bed is uncomfortable
>And what the fuck is that smell?
>It smells like..
>Your eyes shoot open
Car exhaust
>You feel for the bedside lamp, but it's not there
>And as your eyes adjust to the gray light filtering in from outside, a pit forms in your stomach as you realize you're not at your house anymore
>Scratch that
>You ARE in your house
>But not your house in Equestria
>Temporarily stunned, you make your way to the balcony
>You open the sliding glass door, and stumble outside to find

>The Seattle skyline, Space Needle and all
>Fighting vertigo, you look down the twelve stories to the ground
>There are people milling about their daily lives
>As suddenly and as inexplicably as you were teleported to Equestria, you have been teleported back to your apartment back on Earth
>Numb, you stumble back inside and fish your cell phone out of a dirty pair of pants thrown on a chair
>It tells you the date, but that doesn't help you find out how long you've been gone
>You forgot when you left
>A check of the recent messages finds the last sent message to have been sent about a day and a half ago
>Only a day?
>You count off the hours, it's been about thirty-six
>About as many months as you've been in Equestria....
>Fucking time distortion, you'll never understand it
>Just as that's sinking in, you get a realization
>If the time distortion is that bad, you've been missing in Equestria a lot longer than just this morning
>You've been gone at least a week, maybe two, maybe a month;  you don't know

>Fluttershy's probably worried sick....
>The last time she couldn't be with you she tried to...
>NOOPE
>Not even thinking about that
>She's stronger than that now
>You hope...
*grrrrrrrrwl*
>oh look at that, a convenient distraction!
>First things first, you need food
>You know there's nothing in the cupboards, and a search of the fridge turns up basically an old carton of milk and a box of Arm & Hammer
>Forcing yourself away from thoughts of Equestria, you grab your pants and wallet, and take the elevator down in search of food

>It's a bit of a walk to Downtown, but you're used to walking everywhere
>You wander through the maze of steel and glass monoliths, vaguely remembering pathways once well known
>You have a destination in mind
>And after about half an hour, you see it
>The large clock and neon sign reading 'Public Market Center'
>You hook a right and duck into a small building labelled 'Falafel King'
>They're just opening, so you wait a few minutes, stomach audibly growling
>The skinny middle eastern guy behind the counter smiles at you;  you used to be a regular here
>You still are, apparantly;  you've only been gone two days
>You affix a smile and order your food, he hands it to you and you sit at one of the tables outside
>The large television screen across the street advertises the sex toy shop/strip club within
>Jingle Balls
>Tis the Squeezin'
>You chuckle;  apparantly some things just don't change

>Absentmindedly, you begin digging into your food
>You don't wholly object to it
>It's spicy and savory, but there's this weird taste to it now
>Oh
>After three years of being a vegitarian, meat hasn't been recognized as a food for a while
>And you seem to remember lamb being kind of gamey to begin with
>You choke it down, wishing you were digging into a cinnamon roll back at Sugarcube Corner with all of your friends....
>Your friends....
>You swallow hard to keep from tearing up at the thought of them
>Especially Fluttershy....
>It hasn't even been three hours since you've woken up and already your heart aches for her
>You glumly stand up and dispose of your refuse, walking out of the small fence
>Man, it's gray out today
>You don't remember EVER seeing a day this gray in Equestria...
>You sigh
>A bottle or three of something strong seems to be in order when you get back to your hovel

>While you're in the area, though...
>You might as well check out the comic book shop underneath the market proper
>You make your way down the stairs, past the restroom with the weird half-doors
>Past the antique shop with the beetles and bats entombed accusingly in resin
>Down another set of stairs and hooking a sharp left, down a ramp and past the guy doing caricatures
>Ah, there it is
>You navigate a gauntlet of cardboard cutouts and enter the comic shop
>The staff greets you, more out of professionalism than anything else
>You enjoy coming here, but don't that often
>You smile a bit, remembering all the interesting collectibles you forgot they had here
>A life sized bust of a Xenomorph from Aliens
>An inflatable Wolverine hanging from string from the ceiling
>A glass case full of Sonic Screwdrivers and various colored Lantern Rings
>And on the case....
>What the actual fuck

>You visibly start trembling and have to hold back tears
>You walk over and pick up one of the figurines being advertised, an almost spitting image of Pinkie Pie
>It may have a horn and wings, but the coloring and hair are a dead ringer
>You're suddenly hit with the gravity of your whole situation
>You've been transported back to your mediocre life, away from everything you've called home for the past three years
>You're unlikely to ever get to see your friends and the love of your life ever again
>Fuck, not in public
>You set the figurine down, and bolt out of the store
>Straight
>Left
>Right
>There, the door to the outside landing
>You launch yourself through it, and collapse against the railing while you sob into your arms
>You miss them all so much
>Especially Fluttershy
>Her absence is like a hole in your heart
>You continue to bawl, until you're interrupted by a voice:
>'Hey, mate.  You okay?'

>You look up with bloodshot eyes to see two figures standing above you with concerned looks on their faces
>They're both taller than you, but not by much, maybe a few inches
>The shorter of the two is thin and wiry, wearing a zipped-up patched leather jacket and a newsboy cap
>He's bending over with his hands on his knees, leaning his stubbly face closer to you
>The other, a veritable bear of a man, is standing behind his friend, kilt ruffling in the breeze
>He has his arms folded in front of him, his head cocked slightly as he assesses you
>You feel a twinge of irritation
>Who's he to judge you, anyway?
>He's wearing a man-skirt, for God's sake
Yeah, I"m fine
>'You don't look fine, bro.  We saw you take off from the comic book shop like you were being chased.'
>Jesus, were you that obvious?
I... uh, saw something that reminded me of someone....
>They both continue to look at you, concerned
This girl I know....
>The guy in the back chuckles softly

>'Okay, that explains it', he says, his voice a deep bass rumble in your ears
>'I think we've all been there before.'
>Probably not like this
>The skinny guy asks 'You want to talk about it?'
>'I mean, fuck it, we're here.  And we don't want to leave until we know you're okay'
>They both look legitimately concerned
>It's confusing
Why?  Why do you care?
>'I'm not the kind of guy to leave someone in need of help, and, buddy, you look like you need help'
>The second guy gestures at the first, in a manner of saying 'what he said'
>Why not;  It's not like you have any better options
S-she was my best friend, and then we started dating
And...
>Yeah, this'll probably explain it
... and her family moved away suddenly, without warning
I don't think I'm ever going to see her again....
>You cry silent tears in front of these two strangers, not caring
I miss her so much....
I didn't even get to say goodbye...
>You bury your face in your hands, and you suddenly feel a hand grip your shoulder

>You look up, and see the big guy squatting so he's eye level with you
>He's staring directly at you, his blue eyes clear and sharp
>'Did she love you?'
...yes...
>'And you loved her?'
>A slight pause
With all my heart
>'Did you get the chance to tell her?'
>His eyes are starting to mist over slightly
I did, right before she left
>His eyes close, and he nods slightly
>'Don't worry, man.'
>He starts to grin
>'You'll see her again'
Somehow I doubt that....
>You look down, depressed
>'No, I'm sure you will'
>'You'll see her in every good memory you have of her, in every dream at night...'
>'And, if all else fails, you'll be reunited when you transcend this life...'
>'I don't know much, but I do know this:  Once you start loving someone, you never STOP loving them'
>'And, if she loved you too, she'll be waiting for you, wherever you go.'
>He's kind of shaking now, obviously going through his own emotional ordeal
>Suddenly, the first guy pipes up:

>'Wow, Scrab, you are SUCH a faggot'
>'Fuck you, Esrith.  We can't all just switch off our emotions whenever we feel like it.'
>Scrab then stands up and laughs, a loud, booming exclaimation of relief and exultation
>As he stretches his back from the uncomfortable position, he asks 'You going to be okay.....'
Anon
>'You going to be okay, Anon?'
>You think
>You think about Fluttershy, and how much she reacted when you rejected her the first time
>How hard she worked to show her love for you
>You think about this concerned stranger's words, their full weight hitting you
>Hope and determination cement in your mind
>And, yeah
Yeah, I'm going to be okay
>'Good'
>He grabs you by the hand and jerks you to your feet
>They turn to leave, and Scrab turns around and adds 'Hey Anon'
Yeah?
>'Have a better day than you've been having so far'

>You chuckle
Don't worry, I will
>You fully intend to
>And you do
>You spend the next few hours wandering around Downtown, enjoying things you forgot you'd enjoyed and marvelling at things forgotten
>But, while you enjoy yourself, you start to think that you really should be getting home
>You've left it unattended for far too long
>You check your cell phone
>Six hours
>....yeah, that's probably long enough
>You start to walk back toward your apartment
>About halfway there, it starts to rain
>That soft, foggy, drizzly rain that Seattle is famous for
>They never had this in Equestria
>You smile, and enjoy the feeling of the cold water running down you as you walk

>You reach your building, and one short elevator ride later you're in your apartment
>You look around, examining the forgotten relics of a previous life
>Old shirts
>Photos of your family
>Your laptop, a collective gift from your friends
>You smile, and open it up
>There's a song you've been wanting to listen to for three years
>You punch in the password and pull up your audio files
>There
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CsmVnN3pzFI
>You don't understand Italian, but you can appreciate the beauty and emotion in the voices
>Your spirit lifts, and you begin to sing along
>And remember
>Fluttershy
>Your love
>How you mistreated her, and how she was always there for you
>Finally accepting her, and wishing you had done it sooner
>The painfully short time you shared as a couple

>You begin to cry
>You know her too well
>It's been six months in Equestria
>Six months of missing the only person that ever gave her the love she so desperately wanted
>She was always so frail in that regard....
>She's probably already gone, dead by her own hand
>You remember how she reacted to your rejection the first time
>This time you're not there to stop her
>You continue singing, silent tears streaming down your face, and open the sliding glass door to the balcony
>You climb up onto the rail, steadying yourself with the iron post connecting your railing to the balcony above you
>The music continues, and you pour your soul into singing to the cold, gray landscape
>Three years in magic, singing horse land have really conditioned your vocal chords
>You're vaguely impressed by how steady your voice is, considering

>As the duet ends, you remember the words of a Kind stranger:
>'Once you start loving someone, you never STOP loving them....'
>'And, if they loved you back, they'll be waiting for you...'
>'Wherever you go...'
>You smile
>It's time to go home
>You belt out the final lines of the song, your hand slipping from the railing

IO...

CON...

TE!

>Still singing, you tip forward off the railing, embracing the drop
>Wind pushes tears up and into your hair, and you close your eyes
>But you're not sad
>In fact, you're overjoyed
>Your final words before you hit the pavement fill you with a mixture of anxiety, relief, and an almost etherial joy

I'll see you soon, my love.....

Fin