When Worlds Collide 4

>"Lift your arms please."
>You did as you were asked
>Nodding, Twilight looked down at her clipboard and wrote something down
>"Good, now lift your left leg thirty-eight degrees."
>...
>What?
>Frowning, you looked down at you leg
>Gingerly, you lifted it up to what you thought was thirty-eight degrees
>"No, no. That's too little," the purple princess said
>You lifted it up a bit more
>Twilight shook her head
>"Now that's too much. You need to put it down a bit," she said, tapping your knee with a hoof
>You rolled your eyes
>Yep...
>No matter what world you were in, Twilight would always be Twilight...
>Lowering your leg, you looked over at Lero
>Since Twilight had brought you all down to her basement/laboratory/sex dungeon he had sat at the far end of the room looking at you
>Now, you might not have been the sharpest tool in the shed, but if you didn't know any better you'd have said that he looked scared
>Which both confused and concerned you
>What was the big deal?
>Honeydew had just kicked you
>Sure it sucked, but at worse she might have broken a rib or two
>You'd have lived...
>So why had everyone flipped out?
>Naturally, you had some questions so that you could get this whole nonsense sorted out
>Unfortunately for you, Twilight was so busy poking at you and talking to herself that you couldn't ask her anything
>The other two weren’t up for conversation either
>Lyra had been gone off somewhere for half an hour, only to return wearing guard armor for some reason
>She was standing near the foot of the steps, eyeballing the door, so you couldn't ask her anything
>Panko was sitting next to Lero, whispering something in his ear as she looked at you, so she wasn't any help either...


>"Good, now could you please put these goggles on?"
>Something was waved in front of your face, bringing you out of your thoughts
>Your eyes snapped toward the object, revealing it to be a pair of human-sized black goggles
>Plucking them out of Twilight's magic, you looked them over
>These particular goggles looked kind of funny…
>Almost as if…
>You dragged a finger across one of the lenses
"Is this coated in lead?"
>”Yep," Twilight said, scribbling something else onto that clipboard of hers. "It'll help keep you safe from the radiation."
>...
>Wat?
>You were about to ask what the hell she meant when the crazy purple dork levitated over a plate-sized hunk of metal
"What the hell is that?" you asked, slapping the goggles on your head, despite your reservations
>"It's more lead," Twi matter-of-factly replied, dropping it into your hands. "You can use that to shield your lower extremities."
>You looked down at your groin
>...The fuck is this little horse doing?
>You watched as Twilight, humming a tune to herself, pulled down some weird contraption from the ceiling
>Why you hadn’t noticed it until now was unimportant
>What was important was she was pointing the thing at you right now
>"I wanted to take some x-rays of your body if you don't mind. Hopefully we can figure out why you were able to take that kick," she said, turning a few dials on her x-ray machine
>You took a step back
>This was EXACTLY how Bruce Banner turned into the Hulk…
>...
>You think…
"And why do you need to figure that out? It's not like I'm all that hurt or anything."
>"That's just the thing, Anon. If Lero had gotten kicked like that he would have been seriously hurt," Twi said, looking away from the x-ray gizmo to look at you. "But you're perfectly fine!"


>...
>Oh no...
>Her science boner's getting harder
>You can SEE IT
>"Other than some minor brusing, you took the blow like a pony would!" the nerd continued, taking a second to pace in front of you. "From what Lero’s told you, the two of you should be from the same world, so you your biology shouldn’t be all that different."
>You took another step back
“Maybe I just drink a lot more milk than him?” you suggested
>Twilight giggled, covering her mouth with a hoof
>”No, I don’t think so. It might actually have something to do with your Equestria,” she said excitedly. “Their magic might have affected you differently, or maybe you’re from a totally different universe but it’s so similar that the two of you wouldn’t know the difference!”
>Clapping her hooves together, she reached for a button that was hanging on the edge of her device
>”There’s so many possibilities! Ohhh! I can’t wait to see what the x-ray tells us!”
>Your nose scrunched up
"You have an x-ray machine in your basement?"
>"Yep! Ponyville hospital got a new one a few months ago and they were nice enough to sell it to me!"
>You nodded slowly
"So... you have a USED x-ray machine in your basement?"
>You looked over at mint guard hoers
"Is that legal?"
>"It's not illegal," she answered, wisely getting out of the x-ray machine's firing range
>You looked back at the machine
>You’d have a LOT of explaining to do if you came home a muscle-bound green rage monster...
>Your wife might get a kick out of it, but you had to take your kids to school tomorrow
>It would be awkward for your little Dawn if her daddy was too big to fit through the school’s doors...
"Is it safe?" you asked with some trepidation
>"Yeah, it should be fine," Twilight answered, looking down at her notes
"Should be?"
>"I had a specialist come in when I first bought. They told me that it was completely safe," Twilight said with a wave
>One of her hooves hovered over the button, prompting you to cover your junk with the plate of lead
>Thankfully, at the last second, Twilight's throbbing knowledge erection softened a bit
>A look came to her face
>The “I’m about to blast the envoy of a different world with radiation without his expressed permission” look
>Blinking, she looked up at you with a sheepish smile
>"...If you'd be willing to let me x-ray you that is. I don't want to make you feel uncomfortable in anyway after all," she said with a nervous ruffle of her feathers
>This little horse...
>You shook your head, a small smile coming to your face


"You're going to be gnawing at the walls if I don’t let you take your pictures," you said, slipping the goggles over your eyes and covering your junk. "So come on. Just make sure not to take a million pictures."
>Though you couldn't see a thing, you could hear Twilight clap her hooves together in that way your Twilight did whenever she was excited about something
>"Fantastic! Now just make sure to hold still and I'll start."
"I'll be as still as a statue," you promised
>For several seconds there was a silence
>A click then filled the air, then another, then another
>"Good. Now could you please turn so I can get a picture of you sideways?"
>You did as she asked, this time covering your hip with the lead
>Three more clicks filled the air
>"I just need your other side and you'll be done. I promise."
>With three more clicks you were all done
>Though you still couldn't see jack shit, you didn't feel any different
>Which was good
>You didn’t have the jaw to be a superhero
>"Good. Very good. Now I'll take that plate off of you. You can go and sit down while I get these pictures developed."
>The lead was levitated out of your hands, allowing you take off the goggles
>When you did you saw that Twilight looked like she was going to start bouncing off the walls
>She couldn't stand still, and the smile on her face was a mile wide
>Seeing her like this made you want to go over there and pet her
>Thankfully, you resisted the urge
>Lero over there probably wouldn't want you petting his girl...
>The goggles were levitated out of your hand and dropped onto the table as the princess of dorks trotted into a little room on the other end of the basement and closed the door beside her
>Stepping out of the x-ray machine’s line of fire, you gave yourself a quick once-over
>From what you could see, you were fine
>No green skin, no limitless rage, no bulging muscles...


>...
>Huh
>For some reason, you couldn’t help but feel just a bit disappointed...

~_~_~_~_~_~

>Like every time you wore it, your armor was rubbing against your left hind leg
>It didn't hinder your movement in any way, and it didn't leave any marks or cause any rashes, but it WAS irritating
>You had no idea the cause of this phenomenon
>Time and again you had adjusted the straps on your armor
>When that didn't work you had tried wearing something underneath
>When that failed you had even gone and gotten the back half of your armor replaced
>But it didn't do you any good
>The rubbing continued
>While this might have broken lesser mares, you were a Still Way master
>Patience and controlling one's emotions was your bread and butter
>Such things as discomfort and irritation were beyond you
>You were an enlightened being, one that could let the rubbing slip from your thoughts like water on a duck
>...
>It might have also helped that you almost never had to wear this armor unless it was an emergency
>"So whatcha doing? Keeping the crazy super-prince from escaping?"
>Your gaze flicked over to Prince Anonymous as he made his way over to you
>If one wasn't paying attention, they might have called his gait carefree
>But, if one would have looked carefully, they would have seen a tension in each step
>Each step was careful and thoughtful, with the same amount of gracefulness and simplistic beauty as Lero's walk
>It was oddly predatory
>Like the movements of a cat that had killed many a mouse
>Despite yourself, you couldn't help but eye his movements appreciatively
>Beautiful...
"I'm just following procedure, your highness," you said
>"Don't call me your highness. And scooch over, I wanna sit down," the prince replied, stepping around you so that he could sit down on the steps
"It's standard procedure for me to come out in full gear after somepony's been attacked," you continued. "The guard will need to come down here to question you and Honeydew, so they need to be able to easily spot me."


>Admittedly, you weren’t being completely truthful, but he didn’t need to know that...
>Anonymous hummed thoughtfully
>"So what's gonna happen to that angry little horse? You're not going to turn her into a statue or anything like that right?"
>You couldn’t help but snort
>If you were a vengeful sort of mare you’d say that Honeydew could use a few months as a statue
>Thankfully for her, and you, you were a peace-loving unicorn
"The punishment for assaulting somepony without cause is usually a few days in jail and a fine, though I expect that it'll be worse for her since you're an ambassador."
>The prince made a face
>"Eh, I'd rather just drop the charges if I can."
>You raised an eyebrow in surprise
"Really? Even after she assaulted you?"
>"I've walked away from a lot worse."
"Really?"
>"Yep."
>You let out a hum of your own, looking over at your husband
"Why didn't you go sit over with Lero?" you asked
>"Because every time that I get near him he looks like he's about to shit his pants."
>The prince sighed, pressing his back against the wall
>"Is getting kicked like that really that big of a deal here?"
"Not for a pony," you replied, giving your flank a little wiggle
>Stupid armor...
>Anonymous's brow furrowed in thought
>"So it's a big deal for Lero over there?" he asked, scratching his chin
"Yes," you said with a nod. "Lero isn't as durable as a pony."
>You were about to wiggle again when you felt something tapping against the side of your armor
>Looking over, you saw that the prince was now leaning forward, a hand on your haunches
>"Something's rubbing against you huh?" he asked
>...
>Huh
"Yes actually," you said, tapping the spot with a hoof. "Right here."
>"Well, there's a small dent right where you're poking around at, so if you get that fixed I'm sure it won't rub anymore."


>You craned your neck a little further to get a better look
>The armor looked fine to you...
>Touching the spot the prince had indicated, you couldn't feel a difference either
>Anonymous's eyes narrowed
>For a moment, it looked like he wanted to asked you something, but instead he just shook his head
>"We got a couple of minutes until Twilight gets back with her pictures."
>He waved you over
>"Take that lower bit off. I see a hammer right over there. Hey Lero!"
>Your husband jumped
>"Yeah?"
>"Could you do me a favor and grab that hammer over there? I need to help your blind wife with something."
>You snorted good-naturedly
"I'm not blind. You're just seeing things," you said
>With a spell, you unbuckled the lower section of your armor and handed it to the prince
>Anonymous looked up into your eyes as if searching for something
>"...So it’s not just him then?" he mumbled
>You cocked your head to the side
"What was that?" you asked
>"...Nothing. Now why don't you take a seat with me? You look like you need to take a load off."

~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~

"Thank you," you said as Lero handed you the little hammer
>The poor guy still looked a bit anxious
>His movements were jerky, and you’d have had to be dumber than a doorknob to not see that he wanted to start barraging you with questions
>Still though, he wasn’t as bad as before
>Resting the armor on your leg, you ran your hand down where the little bump on Harpbutt's armor was
>You could feel the unicorn's golden eyes on you as you did so
>They were pretty eyes
>A lot prettier than your Lyra’s
>...
>But your Lyra's eyes were clear...
"Alright. I might not be an armorer but I'll see what I can do."
>You flipped over the piece in your hands
>The inside of the armor was lined with leather and wool to make it more comfortable
>Fortunately for you, the bit you were looking for was bare
"Huh, there's more that one little dent," you said, running your finger along where her left haunch would be
>Lyra cocked her head to the side
>"It looks fine to me," she said
>"It looks fine to me too," Lero added, leaning over you to get a better look
"Well, it'll be a lot finer in a second. Now watch me work my magic."
>You had to bang on the armor a lot harder than you thought you'd need to
>To be fair it was armor, so it was designed to take a beating...
>Still though, eventually you managed to fix one little dent after another
>"What's all that banging in there?" Twilight called
>"The prince is trying to ‘fix’ my armor," Lyra called back
>You twitched, nearly smacking your thumb with the hammer
"If you keep calling me prince I'm going to bend you over my knee and beat your butt," you threatened, glaring at the sassy little horse grinning at you. "I'll do it in front of your hubby too. See how you like THAT."
>A grin came to Lero's face as Lyra playfully rolled her eyes
>"Of course, your highness."
>You flicked her nose


"You watch it sist--"
>The air pressure shifted in the room
>Dry, emotionless laughter your ears
>Inhuman laughter...
>A sound that almost made the ears bleed...
>All around the basement, you could see the air begin to shimmer
>If you would have looked hard, you might have been able to see shapes in these shimmers
>They were twisted shapes...
>Dark shapes...
>You could hear them whispering, and the sound of it made the hair on the back of your neck stand on end
>They were coming closer, sucking the heat and the air and the light out of the room...
>Toward you, Lero, and Lyra...
>And with each step they took the whispering grew louder and louder
>The edges of your vision grew red
>Your heartbeat began irregular
>The very blood in your veins froze
>You sat there, hammer raised and ready to swing, watching as they closed the distance like predators stalking their prey
>One of them was just about to touch Lero when the air pressure changed again
>The room grew brighter
>A ringing came to your ears
>The air began charged, causing every hair on your body to stand up
>The shimmers froze before quickly retreating from the three of you
>They ran to the corner of the room before disappearing, leaving a dark, inky spot next to a table
>Your eyes snapped toward another corner of the room, where a set of glowing blue orbs was floating in the air
>These orbs lingered for a moment, giving you the distinct impression that they were staring back at you, before they too disappeared
>Eyes, you realized after a moment
>They were eyes...
"--er."
>You blinked as both Lero and Lyra began to chuckle
>Huh...
>Not the real things...
>Just shadows…
>With a little wiggle, you brought down your hammer one last time
>Everything still felt alright
>Well, as alright as it could be…
>Sighing, you gave the armor a once-over before handing it back over to Lyra


"There you go. You should be alright now."
>Though you could see it on her face she thought you were full of shit, Lyra took the armor from your hand
>Clipping the thing into place she wiggled
>You smiled as her eyes widened in disbelief
>"It... it doesn't rub anymore," she murmured
>You leaned against the stairs, eyeing where the shadows had disappeared
>Blood began to drip from your nose, but you were able to wipe it away with the back of your hand before she or her hubby saw it
"Told you.”