Jitterbean Breaks Down

«HTBK» *Didn't you say you knew the secret of the squeaky carrot?*
«Puck» (Oh my.)
«Globebutt» I do know the secret of the squeaky carrot! It's... honestly pretty mundane.
«Globebutt» I'm not sure you really want to know.
«HTBK» *...Tell me?*
«Globebutt» It would ruin the magic.
«Writefag4» (Can you handle that kind of knowledge Jitterbean?)
«HTBK» *Tellme.*
«Globebutt» (You want the truth, Jitters? You can't handle the truth!)
«Globebutt» ...There's a squeaker inside.
«HTBK» *A...what?*
«Globebutt» Little plastic thing that makes noise when you squeak it.
«Globebutt» Squeeze it, that is.
«HTBK» *...*
«HTBK» *No. No no no no. that's not...*
«Globebutt» There may be magic in this world, but I fear it lays not in the Squeaky Carrot.
«HTBK» *You can feel her twitching.*
«Puck» (The secrets of the universe were not meant for mortal ears Jitters)
«HTBK» *Squeaky...thing...*
«HTBK» http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r2YyTpXkges
«HTBK» *Oh god. It all makes sense. I see it all.*
«Globebutt» Are you all right?
«HTBK» *MY GOD DON'T YOU GET IT*
«Puck» (Deus ex squeakina)
«Globebutt» Where are you going with this, Jitters?
«HTBK» *THE PEOPLE STOLE IT SO THEY COULD FRAME [spoiler] FOR BEING A DANGEROUS LUNATIC AND THAT'S WHY THE CARROT ISN'T MAGICAL ANYMORE*
«Puck» (called it)
«HTBK» *THEY DID IT ALL FOR MONEY! THEY MADE ME FOR A QUICK BUCK! LITERALLY EVERYTHING I KNOW IS A LIE*
«HTBK» *AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA--*
«HTBK» *She starts crying.*
«Egg_Discord» "Are you okay in there, Globe?"
«Writefag4» (Hmm. I thought there was another layer to it.)
«Puck» "Sooooo... wait, why [spoiler]; where did they come from?"
«HTBK» *Any further hints will require investigation.*
«HTBK» (There is, Write.)
«HTBK» (Two more, in fact.)
«Globebutt» We cry.
«HTBK» *She just starts...sobbbing.*
«HTBK» *Master's dead. The carrot is a lie.*
«HTBK» *Her entire life is, as far as she knows, owed to some soulless corporate hack.*
«HTBK» *Coffee pone is BSOD.*