WASTELAND! With Horses - Chapter 3

>you look at your squadmates
>and you look at the retreating form of Shining Armor
>and you look at the young wannabe before you
>no way in Tartarus are you gonna responsible for keeping a small child alive out there
"Of course, love. But first, I think you should-"
>you're cut off by sounds of joy and gladness
>"Oh, Scootaloo! My baby! Where have you been?"
>you turn and see two ponies you assume to be Scootaloo's **parents **:^)****
>they rush up to Scootaloo, scoop her up, and pepper her with kisses
>"Ew, Mom, no! Not in front of the Rangers."
>that catches the attention of Scootaloo's father
>"Oh goodness! I didn't even see you there! It's such an honor that you took the time to talk to our little daughter! She wants to be just like you when she grows up!"
>you see your way out and grin
"Of course. Your daughter was trapped in a cave with a rabid dog and got caught in a cave in. We went in and got her out, and I was just telling her to go to the infirmary to make sure she doesn't fall ill."
>Scootaloo's mother proceeds to barrage her unfortunate ward with a torrent of chastisement for being so careless
>her father, on the other hand, showers you with praises
>"Oh, we just can't thank you enough, Ma'am!"
>he grabs your hoof and peppers it with kisses
>this goes on for an uncomfortably long time
>"All I have to offer you is this leather jacket. It's tough; you might find it useful, you know, as protection."
>he sheds the jacket from his back and places it at your hooves
>he starts to grab your hoof again, but his wife slaps it out of his grasp and ends the interaction
>"And, of course, we'll get little Scootaloo to the doctor right away! Come along now, Maury."
>as the family walks away, the last you hear from them is a sorrowful cry of "Mom, nooooo!"
"Well, at least that's settled. Let's go get those apples so we can finally be on our way."
~"Hey, what about that jacket?"
"What about it?"
~"Can I have it?"
"Why you?"
~"Because it'd look great on m- I mean, uh, because I'm an experienced medic, so you can't have me going around without protection."
"Fair enough. Go ahead and try it on."
>Red does so, and proceeds to admire her fashion sense
"Now, as soon as Red gets done ogling herself, we can get a move on."
~"Oh, uh, all right, I'm ready, let's go."
>stifling giggles, the team walks past Red, who catches up silently
>it's a bit of a walk to the apple farm, and you're still not really sure what you're going to say about Apple Bloom, if anything
>upon arrival, an apple strikes you in the head
>you squeal and jump and rub your head
"What the hell?"
~"It's an apple farm. Sometimes apples fall out of trees."
"There's no way that thing fell. It was thrown!"
/"Or launched. It certainly came from far away."
"You saw that thing coming and didn't say anything?"
_"L-launched? L-like, from a catapult? Like we're under attack?"
"We're not under attack. Someone is just being rude. Let's just go find the farmers and grab the supplies we need."
>you head down to a barn with a door open in the hopes of finding someone who can help you
>you look inside and feel less than hopeful
>you see two fellow Rangers, Applejack and Big Macintosh, badly injured and laying in makeshift straw beds, speaking with an old, green mare who must be their grandmother

PARAGRAPH 56:
Closer now, you can hear the Apple family conversing.
There is a short silence after each pony voices their thoughts.
They speak of varmints who are impossible to kill. These
varmints are stealing their food faster than ever before and they
seem to be massing for a major attack. Nothing the farmers can
do seems to be enough to stop them. Applejack notices you and
calls out to you, and the other two turn to face you. The old, green
mare they call Granny Smith approaches.

>oh no, should you offer to help?
>maybe you could ask about getting paid to help?
>maybe they're still selling apples and you don't have to help?
>what if you said you were just stopping by and left? the grass can't be that bad

>old Granny Smith greets you with a weary smile on her face and a deep frown in her eyes
>"Oh, well hello there, dearies. What kin I do ya for? If yer here for apples, I'm afraid we're unable to sell those right now."
>hm
>well, you were a party to severely injuring this mare's granddaughter and killing her family dog
>you might feel a little better about it if you can help her out somehow
"Yes, I, uh, couldn't help overhearing your conversation. I was wondering if you could elaborate on your troubles for us to see if perhaps we could be of assistance."
>Granny Smith eyeballs your pistols
>"I don't know just how much 'assistance' those pea-shooters'll do against the critters that whooped my grandson over there, but you may's well come on in 'n I kin give y'all the details."
>she gestures at a large pile of hay inside the barn, which you and your team sit down on
>Applejack and Big Macintosh eyeball you silently
>by the Sun above, Big Macintosh was the strongest and toughest pony you ever met
>and Granny over there called your guns "peashooters"
>just what kind of "varmint" could be that formidable?
>"Ladies, we got us an animal problem."
"Yes, we gathered tha-"
>"Listen to me, darlin'. This is important. We got bunnies n' prarie dogs n' lizards n' rats n' whatever else have ya makin' a feast outta our apples!"
>"These critters invaded Sweet Apple Acres about high noon yesterday."
>"So I got my grandbabies here - they're Rangers now, don'tchaknow - and asked 'em to take care of it for me, 'cause an old mare like me just ain't fit fer a fight no more."
>"So these two young'uns and their little friend, uh, who was she again now, Applejack?"
>"Fluttershy, granny. She's supposed to be very good with animals."
>"Well, apparently not good enough. Those critters whooped my grandbabies and took Flufferstuff hostage!"
>"They've been sendin' us communications through 'er."
>"Now the ring leader o' this little gang here calls himself Angel, the Bunny Master. He's some sorta hero to 'em. Applejack, sweetie, you saw 'im, tell the nice young fillies here what you think."
>"Well, the way I saw those other bunnies treating this Angel fellow, it seemed like they practically worship him! The way I reckon, if you can kill the bunny master, you can send the bunnies scattering."
>Applejack stretches
>"Of course, he doesn't quite want to make that easy for you."
>it strikes you now just how different Applejack's Manehattan accent is from the accent of her family
>if not for the apples on her flank, you likely would have never picked her out as a member of the famous Apple family-turned-business-empire
>Granny Smith vents
>"Oh, it's all just so durned unfair! I can't send Applejack and Big Mac in there again the way they are! They'd get themselves kil't! And we'd still lose the crop!"
>"An' with Winona gittin' rabies n' runnin' away, all I'll have left is my precious little Apple Bloom!"
>you glance at Red
"W-well, thank goodness for small mercies like that!"
~"Wait, waitwaitwaitwait. 'The Bunny Master'? This is ridiculous! What's really going on here?"
>now she's managed to piss off Applejack
>"It's no joke, Red. These bunnies aren't like the targets at Ranger School. They're live, moving, and dangerous!"
"Do zey hav catapults?"
>Granny Smith gestures to various bruises on her body
>"Oh, they most certainly do, little missy."
>"Listen young'uns, I don't wanna tell you to risk your lives for my farm, but if we can't take back our farm then all o' Ponyville, includin' yer little Ranger club, is gonna have a great big famine!"
>"If there's any way you could save these orchards, I'll be able to git to my root cellar, an' I'll let you girls'll to take anything from it that catches yer fancy ta make it worth yer while."
>"Whattaya say?"

>you consider the offer for a moment
"I think we can help, but first let us get back to base to grab some things we might need."
>an apple smashes through the barn wall
>Granny Smith cringes
>"Eh, don't take too long now, dearies."
~"Wait, Ruby, what do we need? We've got four ponies and four guns; that's double what they went into this with. We don't need anything!"
"We need more ponies, Red. Big Macintosh was easily the strongest pony in Ranger training with us, if he couldn't handle it, I say we need backup."
~"Are you serious right now? No we don't!"
/"Ve could possibly do vith Tvilight Sparkle. Her magic could prove useful here."
_"Wh-what about Anon? I-I like Anon."
>Applejack overhears and snorts
>"Nobody likes Anon."
~"Look, Ruby, if you're gonna be yellow, Sketchy and I are both trained medics. Just let us patch up Big Mac and AJ here so we don't waste any time!"
>oh yes
>this does raise an interesting question
>if you're going to get backup, who are you going to tap?
>you're authorized up to three auxilliary members
>but maybe you don't wanna fill up all three slots in case you want to recruit someone you meet after leaving Ponyville, in case you decide to keep whoever you grab here
>Twilight is a gifted spellcaster
>Anon's hands give him a pretty good knack for guns too
>maybe Rainbow Dash for aerial attacks
>it could also be a good idea for you to patch up the big guy though
>or maybe Red's right, maybe you're just wasting time and you don't actually need any help

>you sigh, riddled with indecision
>time to shift into squad leader mode
"Granny Smith, do you have any sort of weapons laying about the farm? Anything that might be of use?"
>"Oh sure thing! We got the ol' family gun."
>an ancient, rusty revolver lands at your hooves
>"An' Big Macintonsh has his Ranger gun. Applejack oughtta have one too but the durn thing just up an' went missin' today."
>it takes you all of a second to realize that Applejack's gun is lying unattended about forty feet from a cave entrance
>not that you're going to explain that
>"An' o' course we got our trusty farm tools."
>she gestures to a wall lined with racks of pitchforks, hoes, axes, rakes, and shovels
>hm
>no wonder the Apples couldn't put down this rabbit rebellion
>the nerves loosen their clench on your insides a little bit
>you really are a lot better prepared for this than Applejack and Big Macintosh were
>all the same, you'd still feel a little more comfortable with an extra body in the field
>you turn to the two younger apples
"You two went in there and you know the farm better than we do. Is there anything you can tell us that might be useful?"
>Big Mac opens his mouth to say something
>but before he can utter a word, Applejack shoves a piece of paper in your face
>"This right here is a map of the orchard where Angel is located. There you have the trees, the crater, the catapult, the root cellar, the gates, and the exit into the dark tunnel."
>"There among the trees is where Angel is located. There you have the trees, the crater, the catapult, the root cellar, the gates, and the exit into the dark tunnel."
>"There among the trees is where you'll find the animals hiding. Try to stay out from directly underneath any, as some of the little pests will no doubt be hiding in the tree tops waiting to drop apples on your heads."
>"That catapult is a bit of a danger while we're outside of the walls, but once we're in we'll be at too short of a range for it to hit us."
>"That crater right there is the only place in Ponyville where a genuine piece of the Sun struck the Earth. At first I was distraught to hear of all the tress it destroyed, but it's been making Granny's apples so much bigger that the end crop is actually more rather than less. Needless to say, don't fall inside; you'd probably get radiation poisoning."
>"As for the location of the Bunny Master himself, I believe he'll be located around the center of that big cluster of trees to the side of the crater, though he'll no doubt be protected by dozens of roaming vermin throughout the orchard."
>she looks at you, expecting a response
"Whoah whoah whoah, wait. You drew up that whole thing this morning?"
>"That's right. A businessmare in the Big Apple needs to be conscientious in writing down all of her findings to be competitive."
"A mare after my own heart!"
>Applejack chuckles nervously
>"Oh, uh, I'm sorry, Ruby. I didn't know you swang that way. I don't."
"What? No! It's an expression!"
~"Yeah, a creepy expression."
"Shut up and fix Applejack, Red. We're going in tonight."

>after the long day you've just had, you know it won't take long for night to fall
>you take your team and Applejack just outside the barn to watch the last rays of the Sun disappear over the horizon
/"Do you not vonder how it does that?"
"How what does what?"
/"How the Sun keeps rising and setting on its own vith Princess Celestia gone."
_"Maybe she isn't gone."
>Applejack snorts
>"Well, if she isn't gone, it leaves me wondering why she isn't doing anything to help us."
~"Maybe she's the one who put us into this mess. I mean, chunks of the Sun don't just fall to earth on their own."
"Now there's no way of knowing that it couldn't have happened on its own. The Sun is a huge and powerful magical artifact; it's bound to have failures sometimes."
_"It's been a lot dimmer and colder since it happened."
>"And that failure happens exactly as the enemy is marching on the pony who controls it?"
/"Herr Nightmare Moon certainly vished for ze destruction of ze Sun. Perhaps she did it."
>you shudder, remembering how the Sun and Moon would manouver through the sky for hours each day, each trying to knock the other out of the sky
>"Here's what happened. A long time ago, Princess Celestia bound the Sun to herself. That all backfired a few months back when she died at the hands of Nightmare Moon's army. She dies, magical artifact takes severe damage, we all lose."
~"Oh come on, Nightmare Moon must have died in the hellstorm. How come the Moon didn't fall apart?"
>"Maybe she didn't."
_"It's dark now."
>indeed, with the dimmer Sun, the last rays vanish mere seconds after the body dips past the horizon
"All right mares, let's move out."
~"Wait, you never gave us a plan. What are we doing?"
"You, Red, are going to scale that wall here,"
>you gesture to the spot on the map
"And you're going to blast any furry little critter who tries to man that catapult into ground round."
"We're going to creep up to that wall and move along it toward that gate. We'll break down the first gate, then the second, then you'll join us and we'll move in to attack."
>Red looks at the wall and grins
~"Aye aye!"
>and she dashes off to carry out her task
"Let's move. But at a slower pace than that. There's more of us, and we definitely do not want to be detected and give them an excuse to use that catapult before we reach the wall."
>under cover of darkness, you creep after Red
>you see that she's already poking her head over the wall to see if there's anything she can shoot with the pistol held in her mouth
>really, as much as you don't understand how it's possible for earth ponies to shoot with their hooves, you especially don't understand how it's safe for them to fire with their mouths
>you're about halfway there when something you really didn't want to happen happens
>Sketchy sneezes
>really loudly
>you wheel to face her and glare
>if those animals heard that sneeze, you're about to get pelted with giant apples
>a long moment of tension passes, and nobody moves
>when you think it's safe, you sigh in relief
>and then Red fires her gun
"They're trying to man the catapult! Run for the wall!"
>you run toward the sound of firing
>when you're about a quarter of the way there, the shots are still firing, but apples are now falling from the sky
>looking up, you now see that Red is firing upon critters that have climbed atop the wall to stop her, leaving the catapult free
>whipping out your gun, you sprint at breakneck speed toward the scene
>Red screams
>you look up again to see that she isn't there
"Red!"
>an apple smashes into Aryanne's chest and she goes down
>you skid to a halt and begin turning around to help, but you see Applejack already pulling her back up and you keep running
>everyone makes it to the safety of the wall
>the apples are still being launched, the critters evidently thinking there's still
"We need to make it over to that gate!"
>the squad gallops to the gate and you turn to Aryanne
"Aryanne, you're a big mare. Can you break this thing down?"
>she procures a crowbar from her bag
/"Ja!"
>she jams the crowbar into the gate and yanks on it, wincing as it irritates her bruised chest
>the gate is short work and you're within the first wall
>beyond the second gate lies an army of critters
>and hopefully Red and Fluttershy are both alive somewhere back there too
>in this little cove lies safety and a burlap sack filled with something
>maybe that bag has something useful inside
"Applejack, darling, do you know what's in that sack right there?"
>Applejack looks at it and grins
>"Well shoot! I can't believe those critters didn't take this!"
"What is it?"
>Applejack grabs the bag and dumps its contents out before you
>and out falls three sticks of TNT
"Aryanne, you just learned about demolitions today, can you use that?"
>Aryanne gives you the first full-sized smile you've ever seen adorn her pure white face
/"Oh, ja!"

>you grin back at her
"Good. You take Applejack here, run over to the wall where Red went over, and blast it to hell!"
>Aryanne's grin turns into a massive, toothy smile
/"Jawohl! Come, Applejack!"
>the two large earth ponies go galloping off together to make their grand entrance
>which leaves petite little you and the diminutive Sketchy the task of sneaking inside
>you procure your crowbar and motion for Sketchy to do the same
>you jam them into the second gate and begin to pull
>neither of you are as strong as Aryanne, but working together…
>…the gate snaps off its hinges quickly
>by some miraculous coincidence, Aryanne sets off the bomb at about the same time as the door comes off, totally masking the sound of snapping wood
>angry chitters, squawks, and squeals fade into the distance as varmints from all throughout the orchard rush to meet the apparent intruders
>gunfire rings out as you imagine superior equine technology ripping into unarmed fluffy bunny after unarmed fluffy bunny
>excellent
>now you should be able to locate and dispatch the Bunny Master without encountering much resistance
>carefully tiptoing among the trees, you keep your eyes peeled for him as Sketchy cautiously follows suit
>you're certain he's not with his followers
>more likely he's hidden himself and some sort of guard detail within the orchard
>there!
>a hutch made of applewood, surrounded by tough-looking bunnies
>if Angel is anywhere, he's in there
>you're startled by the sound of another round of TNT going off
>was that Aryanne destroying the catapult?
>you're startled again by the sound of conflict vanishing from the air
>maybe your girls won already?
>you're feeling somewhat uneasy despite your self-assurances
>the sound of little paws scampering through the woods reaches your ears
>Sketchy huddles against you shaking
>into the clearing burst six battered varmints
>one of them is a big lizard, and he's dragging Applejack by the tail
>they notice you
>and they advance

"Sketchy, run!"
>trying not to hit the lizard to avoid hitting Applejack, you fire into the crowd of animals
>your shot hits a bunny
>already weak and wounded, the cute furry animal succumbs to the grim gates of death
>the lizard is taken aback by the muzzle flash and releases its grip on Applejack's unconscious form
>two bunnies advance toward you and Sketchy, enraged by the death of their comrade
>the prarie dogs run to stand guard at the entrance of the hutch, trying to ensure that noone enters
>the lizard shakes off his stupor and charges at you
>Sketchy yelps and runs away
>you don't yelp, you just make a surprised noise that's totally not a yelp
>and you take off fleeing in the opposite direction

>you wheel to a halt to see just where you've run off to
>turning around, you can still see the hutch with the prarie dogs
>a little farther off you see Sketchy standing off with the bunnies
>but most importantly, you still see the lizard charging at you
>you shoot again, thankful that the lizard isn't holding onto Applejack anymore
>the bullet strikes the lizard hard
>already injured and bleeding, the lizard stops within three feet of you to writhe and shriek
>across the way, you see Sketchy get smacked by a bunny
>as she flinches, the other bunny takes the opportunity to box poor Sketchy in the nose
>but you were distracted too soon; the lizard wasn't quite dead yet
>it brings itself back to your attention again by tackling you to the ground
>a shot rings out, accompanied by the death squeal of another bunny as Sketchy disposes of one more furry foe
>this distracts the lizard
>you take advantage of the situation by getting up and putting another ten feet between yourself and the badly injured reptile

>you decide to end this by shooting the lizard, this time aiming to kill
>the lizard slumps unceremoniously onto its belly, dead
>you turn to help Sketchy, who is receiving another bonk on the nose from the bunny
>in an attempt to repel it, she whacks it hard with the butt of her gun
>the force of the blow twists the bunny's neck around and it too succumbs to whatever awaits murderous varmints on the other side
>the prarie dogs eye the development with visible unease, but they don't abandon their post
>Applejack stirs, groans, and rises to her hooves
>Sketchy reaches her first and checks her body for wounds that might need healing
>you canter over after to try and find out what happened
"Applejack?"
>"Huh?"
"Applejack, dear?"
>"Wh-wha..."
"Applejack, love, answer me."
>Applejack's posture straightens, her eyes focus, and she speaks coherently
>"Whoah there, Ruby. I told you I don't swing that way."
"It's. An. Expression. Where is Aryanne?"
>"She's, uh... Hold on, where are we exactly?"
>Applejack takes a moment to orient herself and figure out where in the orchard she is
>"Um, shoot. Last I saw her we were over by the catapult she looked like she was doing fine right up until my gun jammed and that lizard tackled me."
_"Wh-what happened after that?"
>"I don't know. Everything just kind of... went dark."
>Sketchy turns to you
_"We have to find her! She could be hurt!"
"How bad could it get?"
_"You saw how Applejack here managed to get up on her own, right?"
"Yes."
_"If she'd been just a little bit worse off, her condition wouldn't have gotten any better. It would have just worsened and worsened until-"
"Until she died..."
>"Now I'm sure it won't come to that. Aryanne is tough."
"Where did you last see her?"
>"Over by the catapult, right by the wall we blew out."
"And none of these critters dragged her over here..."
_"Maybe the lizard ate her!"
>"No. That there lizard is a kind that's strictly vegetarian. Granny had me come back from Manehattan with exterminators to clear out an infestation of them a few years ago. He ate apples, not ponies."
_"Ruby, she ''must'' still be over there! We need to go check."
"What about Red and Fluttershy? If they're anywhere, they're in that hutch. Do you think they're going to be all right?"
>"True, I didn't see Red over by where she disappeared from. But you know Angel is keeping Fluttershy alive as a translator. Maybe he's keeping Red alive for something too."
>she could be right, but what the hell is Red good for?

"All right. We're going to go find Aryanne."
>"All right, I can show you-"
"Not you, Applejack. You can still barely walk. You're going to hide out here and keep an eye on the hutch."
>"What am I supposed to do if something happens?"
"Come find us. You know where we're going."
>there's a moment of silence
>"Fine."
"We'll not be gone ten minutes, dear."
>with that promise, you take Sketchy and walk to the east
>after you've gone a ways, a quiet ticking from your geiger counter alerts you to the crater's presence
>coming upon a clearing in the orchard, that great red wound in the earth reveals itself to you
"Sketchy, how long ago did the disaster happen?"
_"Maybe four or five months ago. Why?"
"Should that crater still be on fire?"
>the air is eerily silent as Sketchy thinks about that
>the only sound is a gentle reminder from your geiger counter to not get too close to the crater
>even the tongues of fire that leap and play in the pit move without noise
_"I-I… I dunno…"
>she shudders
_"Can we please keep moving?"
"Oh, right. The spot we're looking for isn't very far past this thing."
>indeed, as you pass by the crater, the catapult and the felled wall become visible to you
>dozens of dead critters and their various body parts litter the grass
>brutal
>there, in the carnage
>there's a white form that's bigger than the other bodies
"Over there!"
>you dash to the form of Aryanne
>you attempt to discern the signs of life or lack thereof
>but you're not a medic, you just can't tell
"Sketchy!"
>Sketchy examines the body, and tears well up in her eyes
_"Oh, no!"
>THIS CAN'T BE HAPPENING
"What?!"
_"She needs attention right now!"
>isn't it just the weirdest thing how your buttcheeks can clench up but you don't notice til they un-clench?
"Then she isn't dead?"
_"Not yet! I need space! Go sit over there! I need to try to fix this!"
>you're sure Aryanne will recover quickly in Sketchy's obsessive, paranoid hooves
>maybe you could take off for just a moment to let Applejack know what's going on
>there's some rustling in the trees, from a source just outside your vision
>whatever it is they don't seem bent on attacking right now, but you think it's most likely a hostile given where you are
>maybe it would be better if you didn't leave Sketchy un-guarded right now
>but if you do decide wait, then what's the next step after Aryanne is patched up?
>may as well plan ahead

>you stare out into the artificial forest for a lot longer than the ten minutes you promised Applejack
/"Heiligan scheisse!"
>well then
>you turn to face your fallen team member
"Good morning, darling."
/"Kamerad Applejack, she-"
"-has made a full recovery and is ready to assault the Bunny Master."
/"Oh… mein prinzessen…"
_"Are you feeling all right, Aryanne? Can you walk?"
>the pearlescent earth pony rises to her hooves, stumbles a bit, and looks at you unsure
"Can you fight?"
>the ivory warrior frowns, then grins, then rears up her hind hooves and stomps onto the earth
/"Ja!"
"That's all I needed to hear."
_"Are you sure that's a good-"
"Of course I'm sure. Let's go meet Applejack. I'm amazed she hasn't come looking for us already."
_"If you say so."
>Sketchy places herself against Aryanne as a brace
>Aryane pulls away and marches forward on her own
>Sketchy follows her patient anxiously
>you start to go in the same direction, but that rustling in the orchard catches your attention again
>against your better judgement, you poke your head among the trees and look around
>apart from the glowing of what you assume to be the crater, you see nothing
>wait, was the glow that far out when you came this way?
_"Ruby?!"
"Oh, coming!"
>sparing one last look into the perceived threat, you turn and follow your team
>going back the way you came, you reach the clearing with the evil rabbit hutch
>the prarie dogs are still standing guard, now bristling with anger at your return
"Applejack, sweetheart, are you still hiding around here?"
>"Damnit, Ruby. How many times do I have to tell you-"
"Just come out."
>"I was just telling you, I don't need to 'come out' because I'm not a-"
"I mean come out here where we can see you!"
>"Oh."
>a shadow comes forth from the darkness and reveals itself to be Applejack
>this new arrival is apparently too much for the prarie dog guards
>they chitter and chirp and rush inside the hutch
>they return with three bunnies

PARAGRAPH 84:
The last bunny to exit the hutch holds an axe taller than he is
in one paw and a pair of golden chains in the other. Seeing you
for the first time, he glares at you with ominous eyes filled with
hatred for you and your kind. He yanks on his chains, and from
the hutch walk Fluttershy and Red, clad in gem-encrusted
collars, golden panties, and translucent strips of silk.
This is Angel, the Bunny Master.

>the air is still and silent as you gaze into the Bunny Master's eyes, and he yours
>gotta think up a plan, fast
"Oh, uh, hey there Red. Nice… uh, outfit. The gold really brings out your coat and mane so nicely."
~"Ruby you motherfucking perv, stop staring at my ass and just fucking rescue me already; this is fucking humiliating!"
"What? No! I'm not- i-it's just b-bant…"
"Wait, can you say that again?"
~"THIS IS FUCKING HUMILIATING"
"No, the thing before that."
>Red shoots you a look that clearly says she thinks that now is not the time for your antics
~"R-r-rescue me…"
>perfect
>that wasn't related to the task at hand
>that was just for all of Red's cuntery throughout the past day
"Of course, darling. That's just what squadmates are for."
>your eyes return to Angel's, and he's looking at you like you're out of your fucking mind
"Oh, um, hello there. My name is Ruby."
>you gesture at yourself
"That there is Aryanne,"
>you point a hoof at the pony you've mentioned
", Sketchy,"
"And Applejack, though I think you've already met her."
>you give the tyrant bunny king your nicest, sweetest smile
>he chitters and chatters to Fluttershy
>"U-uhm… Angel, the Grand and Honorable Bunny Master, would like to know if… well, uhm, if you're going to make a point."
"Point? Oh, sweetheart, I was just making a round of introductions. Would you care to do me the same courtesy?"
>Angel frowns deeply and chatters and squeaks at Fluttershy
>"This is Angel, the Bunny Master! Lord of the apple orchard and conquerer of ponykind in Equestria in general and in Sweet Apple Acres in Particular. Look upon him and despair, ye doomed peoples of Ponyville!"
>he's certainly not a humble bunny
"Well, um, now that introductions are out of the way, can I make one little unobtrusive request? You see, those two ponies you have there, well, they're with me, and if you would be so kind as to let them go-"
>Angel cuts you off with some very angry rabbit-speak
>"Y-you fools! You murderers of my people and invaders of my domain! You stand before my harsh judgement and request things? You are no honored guests in this realm; you are the dead!"
>what a pretentious little varmint
>is there any reason why can't Fluttershy just paraphrase what he says instead of translating word for word?
"Oh, come on! I can understand why you might need Fluttershy-"
>"Eep!"
"But what use could Red possibly be to you?-"
~"Hey!"
"She doesn't speak bunny!"
>Angel grins, makes clicking chattering noises, and thrusts his pelvis back and forth
>Fluttershy turns scarlet, collapses, and stammers incoherently
>not that you needed a translation for that
>this is worse than you thought
>an idea shits its way into your head
>might as well try it, it's as good as anything else you could think up
"Red! Fluttershy! Yank your chains! He can't hold on to both of you!"
>Fluttershy doesn't comprehend your order
>"Wh-wh-wh-what?"
>Red takes about a half a second, but when she gets it her face lights up like the Sun
>she jerks her neck and body back with all her might
>Angel took a bit longer to understand, and he loses his grip easily
>Red gathers up her chains quickly and hauls ass over to your side of the clearing
>Angel squeals and points at you
>and his henchbunnies move in

>looks like diplomacy has failed
>you take aim and fire upon the bunny farthest to the left
>the raging varmint slows down considerably, but it doesn't quite stop
>the other bunny sneaks up from your side and delivers a painful bite to your leg
>shaking it off, you decide that it's time to give some orders
"Aryanne! Blast these vermin to hell! Sketchy, give Red your gun!"
>a prarie dog gets too close to Red, and she lashes out with the chain still on her neck
>it wraps itself around the hapless animal, which begins to smoke and scream
>unable to unfoul itself, the prarie dog burns to death
>what the hell?
>judging by Red's expression, you can tell she wasn't expecting this either
>Aryanne strikes her last stick of TNT on the ground and tosses it into the crowd of animals
>two bunnies are reduced to fine, red mists by the blast
>the remaining prarie dog launches itself upon Applejack
>she quickly knocks it aside and hammers it with a 45 round, killing it
>the henchvarmints now defeated, Sketchy finally approaches Red and offers her gun
_"D-do you still want this?"
~"Hell yeah I do!"
>Red grins and swipes the pistol from Sketchy's hoof
>the Bunny Master looks on in extreme disapproval
>tying Fluttershy to the hutch, he wields his mighty axe and approaches you himself

>the Angel of death approaches
>heh, that's a good one, you'll be sure to right it down in your autobiography
"Red, give Sketchy her pistol back."
~"What? Why?"
"You have a perfectly good evil magic chain thing! Give Sketchy her pistol back!"
>realizing the urgency of the situation, Red returns the weapon to Sketchy
>you fire in front of Angel, hoping to stop his advance
>instead of stopping, he keeps moving forward
>in fact, he walks right into the bullet, which strikes his paw
>it leaves a visible wound, but doesn't slow him down one bit
>you can see that suppressive fire isn't going to work here
>Red tries to whack him with her chain
>upon making contact with Angel, the chain dissolves into what looks like Sunlight
~"Oh, thanks for the fucking advice!"
>the Bunny Master is closing the distance at a leisurely pace
>Aryanne yells and fires a round upon the supreme varmint
>the projectile flies through his torso without slowing him down
>Sketchy shrieks and dumps three rounds into him
>still he comes, at a relaxed pace on his stubby little legs
"The bunny's a bloody mutant! A normal bunny would have been dead by now!"
>he's only about 10 feet away now
>"Lemme try somethin different then."
>Applejack lets loose a throwing knife
>the knife embeds itself in Angel's torso
>Angel stops for a moment to pull the knife from his body
>you take note that he winces as he does so
"We're hurting him! We just have to keep shooting!"
>at long last, Angel closes the distance and swings his axe
>the whole squad scrambles to evade the blow
>you just get caught in it and can't get out of the way fast enough
>the axe comes down hard on your shoulder
>you can feel the hard metal grinding against your bones
>the world disappears
>you awaken to find yourself slung over Aryanne's back, moving at a hurried trotting pace
>it takes you a moment to realize where you are
>but you look around and your eyes fixate on a little bunny rabbit in relaxed pursuit of you
>he seems to have the slightest hint of a limp
>and then you remember how he whacked you with that axe in his paw
>you must have only blacked out for a minute or two
>Red, jogging alongside you with Sketchy and Applejack, notices you
~"Hey! There you are! What the fuck do we do now?"

>you roll off of Aryanne's back and the party stops
>landing on the ground hurts, but you get up and do your best to hide it
"Where the hell are we going?"
>"Away from him!"
"No, no, no. We need to know where we're going. Which way to the broken wall?"
>"That way!"
>you don't have much longer to converse as the Bunny Master's axe approaches
"All right. Sketchy, you go back to rescue Fluttershy."
_"U-uh..."
"Go!"
>Sketchy parts from you
>fortunately, Angel ignores the split-off, choosing instead to focus on the main group
"Red, distract that bunny!"
~"What? How? You made me give that gun back to Sketchy!"
>you curse under your breath and reach around your bag hurriedly
>the first thing your magic touches is your crowbar
"Here, take this."
>you toss the bar at her
~"What? Why this?"
"Red, you're a pirate. You're agile and quick and a brilliant brawler to boot. And we don't have any more time to argue!"
>the white Angel is upon you again, his axe narrowly missing your skull
>you fire a round into him, and Applejack and Aryanne do likewise before you retreat to the east
>Angel follows in hot pursuit, but Red blocks his way
>Angel swings his axe to relieve himself of the annoyance
>Red deftly deflects the axe a few degrees to the side with her crowbar
>the axe misses her entirely and smashes into the ground, causing Angel to lose his balance
>Red takes the opportunity to smack him with the crowbar and back up a bit
>Angel is now moving at a faster pace
>but for fear of losing site of Red, you've slowed down a bit
>you're only just now coming upon the crater
>battered-looking and enraged, Angel fights without any of the reserve he displayed earlier

"Applejack, don't you know anything about this rabbit?"
>"What? Of course not! He just showed up the other day and made my grandmother's life hell."
>Red deftly deflects an axe blow a few degrees to the side
>the axe misses her completely and smashes into the ground
"Come now, you fought him before. Surely you noticed something."
>"No, he just massacred my brother and I. There was no 'fighting' about it."
"Well what can we do?"
>Red narrowly dodges the axe as it sails through the air
>the axe impales itself in the earth once more
>it's really stuck this time
>Angle pulls and yanks on it, trying to get it free
>"Well, we know he's a mutant. And we know that makes him tougher. We should be able to kill him simply by shooting at him some more."
~"Hey, I have an idea!"
"Red wait!"
>the sound of Red smacking Angel with your crowbar reminds you of someone hammering a railroad spike
>Angel flies through the air and lands in the crater
~"Evil bunny plus firey pit equals no more bunny!"
"Red, are you sure that's how that works? It was likely that crater there that mutated him."
~"He's not coming out, is he?"
>you look to see
>your geiger counter discourages you from getting close enough to see inside of the crater
>but you can see from here that no mutant bunnies are crawling from the pit
_"Ruby! Ruby! Where are you? Are you dead?"
"We're over here, sweetheart."
~"Quit being creepy."
>Sketchy approaches you, Fluttershy in tow
_"D-did we win?"
"I do believe we did."
~"Did you grab my gun from the hutch?"
_"U-uh… gun?"
~"Yes! Gun!"
"I-I guess I forgot it…"
~"Fucking hell. Rube, can we go back over there? I need to grab my shit yet."
"Sure. We'll get your things, claim our reward, and then head out."
>the earth shakes
>wheeling around, you see a massive paw clawing at the surface of the ground, rising from the inside of the crater
>a gargantuan bunny head pokes itself up into your site
>his already mutated form must have absorbed the solar radiation better than you'd hoped he would
>and he does look like he's absorbed a lot of it
>it actually looks like he's about ready to burst at the seams
>the giga nigga Bunny Master opens his mouth, revealing a nasty array of teeth
>and he unleashes a mighty, animalistic roar

"Fluttershy, why does this bunny hate us so much?"
>"W-w-well, he was always kind of bossy! C-can we run now?"
"Right then. We'll run for the hutch to retrieve your weapons and escape via the dark tunnel. Lead the way, Applejack."
>"Uh, it's this way. Come on!"
>as you begin to run, Angel launches himself up from the crater and gives chase
>oh fuck oh fuck
>his legs are massive; there's no way you can outrun him
"Keep moving, I'll hold him off!"
_"What?! Why would you do that?!"
/"Zere's no time to argue. Ve'll do as ve're told!"
>and in a split second, your squad is already far ahead of you
>you turn to face the rampaging mutant bunny
>you'll have to trust your aim to be true
>using the precision you've learned from your years as a jeweler, you quickly point your gun at Angel's head
>and you unload on him
>you just fucking unload
>you unleash 13 rounds into Angel's head before your gun clicks empty
>the great monster bunny stops and staggers backward
>there are clearly 13 holes in his head, their presence highlighted by beams of light emanating from them
>the light intensifies
>Angel tries to cover the holes with his paws
>they're quickly covered in a pure white fire
>the fire rapidly spreads to cover his entire body
>shrieking and writhing, Angel bunny falls to the ground with a monstrous crash
>he flails and rolls to try to put out the white flames, but they're consuming him too rapidly
>in less than a minute, the fire goes out, and a very charred, small, un-mutated version of Angel lies dead in unburnt grass
>and all is calm and still
>a rustling sounds from the trees
>you look to see dozens of varmints staring at you
>one, a bear, approaches you with hate in his eyes
>he picks up the body of Angel, holds it high, and roars a terrible lament
>the assorted critters respond with equally pitiable noises
>the bear retreats to the trees
>the varmints stare at you with melancholy and fear
>then they melt into the shadows, and sounds of running fade away into the direction of the breached wall
>you notice that you've been shaking
>forcing yourself to stand still, you realize that you've saved the orchard
>you giggle and prance your way over to the hutch, hoping your team is still there for you to tell them
>when you arrive you see that they're gone already
>they must be waiting for you in the dark tunnel
>it was to the south of here right?
>you skip merrily to the south wall and see the entrance to the tunnel at your right
>hehe, won't they be impressed to hear what you've done
>you step inside the tunnel and call out
"Team, are you in here?"
>it's too dark to see anyone in here
~"Over here, Rube."
_"Are you okay?"
/"Did you spill his blood?"
"You're not going to BELIEVE what happened!"
>your girlish squeal emanates through the cave
>the roof rumbles
>you freeze, but the cave stays put
>you remember this morning and think to yourself that you've had enough of cave-ins for one day
"Well, what happened?"
>you step out into the light of the sinking Moon, and your squad follows
"We saved the orchard, team. The Bunny Master is dead and his followers have scattered. We won."
/"Sieg heil!"
~"Fuckin' right!"
_"I'm so glad everything turned out all right."
>Fluttershy looks kind of sad
>Applejack sighs in relief
>"Well thank goodness. Now we can get back to growing apples for you ponies."
>Granny Smith's voice startles you from behind
>she's a sneaky old bird, that one
>"Thank you so much, dearies. Do you girls want to see my root cellar? You can take anything you like."