「PPBA」: Pinkie's Destiny /// Chapter III: Welcome Home!

Previously, on Pinkie Pie's Bizarre Adventure...
https://pastebin.com/qD7zwXRH

>Before you get out of the dream world, you hear the same white pony from before, talking to you
>"I'm gonna be in Baltimare next week. If you REALLY wanna meet me, your schedule's gotta be tight! See you there!"
>Waking up in a cold sweat, you see your Paradox sleeping in the walls, snoring in a voice similar to yours
>That is, until it sees you're awake, in which it falls out of the wall and onto the ground
>You're in a bad mood, so you unload all your stress onto it
"That's the last time I'm letting you control my dreams, okay? I just wanna dream about my friends!"
>"Mmm? Pinkie? Ah heard ya yellin'. Is there somethin' you need?"
"No, no, I'm fine. I'm just telling somepony off for doing something they shouldn't."
>"Alright. G'night, Pinkie..."
"Good night!"
>As AJ drifts off to sleep again, you glare at the Paradox, which is attempting to sneak off
>Due to its relatively short range, it fails, looking back upon you sheepishly
"Don't think you're getting away with this! I'm gonna go to sleep, and if you make me dream about some 'Mareioh' town again, I'm not gonna use you for a day! Got it?"
>The Paradox nods, sprinting back to the wall and going back to sleep
>You close your eyes, and begin to dream about Twilight and Applejack
>So, it seems your next destination is in Baltimare, huh?
>Looks to you that you're going to have to ask Applejack if she can spare a few bits for the train ride there...

-----

>You are Pinkie Pie
>And you are currently as comfy as fuck
>Dreaming about Paradox battles with Applejack going against some bipedal thing with blond, donut-styled hair with a cool-looking Paradox
>What's his name, again?
>「Evil Exploits Easily Executed Affordably」
>Or, as you like to call it, 「E4A」
>You're "watching" Applejack stare down the evildoer with a cold, stoic glare, having a two-thousand mile stare-down

>"Ah'm giving you one chance to back down, Valentine. You hurt mah family, you hurt mah country, and most importantly, you hurt mah friends! What else do you want from me, you son of a—?!"
>"Please, don't attack me. I would like to strike a deal with you before things go south. It's imperative the both of us reach a compromise before we make any rash decisions, don't you think?"
>Applejack is also laying on the ground, heavily wounded, you forgot to mention, her Paradox right next to her and facing forward
>Valentine is sitting in a pit, his Paradox lying on the ground and looking incredibly weak
>You can't remember why these two got into a fight, but you enjoy it
>"And what're you gonna give me, huh?! This race was for mah family, and you took them away from me! What else is there Ah could possibly want?!"
>"There is one mare you'd give anything for. My Paradox can achieve that, but all I need is for you to let me go so I can procure the Lunar Corpse parts..."
>"No, there isn't! Ah have nothing left for me! Just... shut up! Shut up!"
>You don't remember your dreams being so action packed, but it makes for good adrenaline
>You prop up some popcorn and keep watching, Valentine exhaling and closing his eyes
>"The truth is that you have the upper hand. I've been defeated. I can strike a deal with you. I know that you'd give anything for the one pony you care for the most."
>"Yeah? Yeah? Who is it? Go on and tell me, you sanctimonious varmint! You can't ever return what you took from me!"
>"My Paradox—as you already know, it can bring things from other universes. The rule about objects merging into one is obsolete for what you want. It's done and dusted, but what I can promise you is that I can bring it to you."
>Eating more popcorn, you lean forward, utterly hooked by what you're hearing
>"Yeah? What is it, Valentine? Spare me your theatrics, and tell me what you can give me!"
>The man grins, the next words catching you off guard
>"Pinkie Pie."

"「PPP」~~~~~~~~!"
>"Pinkie, what in the hay are ya—?!"
>Waking up in a cold sweat, you glare at the Paradox, who's failing to hide behind Trixie
>Although you can't see it, you can sense it mouthing the word "Shimatta"
>Which, if your Neighponese is correct, means a word that you can't say out loud
>You stand up, walking towards it, to which it begins shivering in fear
"What did I say about controlling my dreams, 「PPP」?"
>It says nothing, instead opting to fall into the hammerspace, in which you follow it quickly
"Get back here, you idiot!"
>ZOOM
>ZOOM
>Bouncing from wall to wall, you and your Paradox zip around the barn, locked into a chase as Applejack watches in awe
>It's a very, very tense situation, with you shouting threats at the Paradox while Trixie doesn't awaken to see you
>It's astounding she's still asleep, but after yesterday, you suppose she needs the rest
>"Pinkie, quit it! It's early in the mornin' and Ah don't wanna wake up your family!"
"My Paradox needs to be taught a LESSON!"
>Surprisingly, your Paradox says two words that reenforce the drive to kick the shit out of it
>The voice is similar to yours (of course, considering the Paradox is feminine), but you didn't expect such a familiar voice
>"「Lesson Five」?"
"I'M GONNA SHOVE THAT LESSON UP YOUR—"
>"Pinkamena Diane Pie! Stop thine yelling right this instant, young lady!"
>Time seems to stop, both you and your Paradox levitating in thin air, before recognizing the figure in the doorway
>Cloudy Quartz is stern and annoyed, staring a hole through you both, with Burning Blaze right next to her in shock
>The both of you slowly float to the ground, smiling sheepishly, with you rubbing your left hoof and 「Party Party Party」rubbing the back of its head

>"What arest I going to do with thou, Pinkie? The both of ye, apologize to each other right now!"
>Huffing, you look to the side, not looking your Paradox in the eyes
"I'm sorry, you big goof. Don't go in my dreams again and I won't ever chase you like I just did."
>You sense 「PPP」 nodding, it going back into your soul and the whole problem being dissolved
>(For now, at least)
>"Good. Now, I am expecting ye both to be on good behavior from now on. Please collect thine belongings and be ready to depart in two hours. We are going to have some breakfast soon."
"We will, mom. Thank you for the food!"
>"Thou art welcome. Blaze, canst thou believe how loud they were earlier?"
>"Fiery Flame. My name... Bah! Looks like being weird runs in the family, huh?"
>The both of them laugh, walking back inside, as Trixie finally wakes up with a yawn
>"The Sleepy and Incredibly Tired Trixie had the weirdest dream..."
"Tell me about it. What was your dream about?"
>"Trixie dreamt of two mares going off against each other because one had messed with their dreams..."
>You cough, Applejack's eyes darting side to side as Trixie tilts her head in confusion
>"Was it something Trixie said?"
"No, it wasn't. Let's just get inside, okay?"
>"Trixie agrees! She could go for some pancakes right now!"
>"Shoot, Ah could go for a whole barn! Let's quit talkin' and get to work on eatin' so we can go to Ponyville faster!"
>All of you laughing, you go inside, putting the earlier incident behind you and focusing on what's ahead
>That is, a whole lot of rock soup, and most likely some interesting discussion between the cave-dwellers and the Rock Ponies
>The smell of sandstone rocks hits you, drawing you ever closer to the source in increasing hunger
>You like your rocks sandy, you know?
>Everyone's sitting at the table and eating their rock soup, sparingly talking and focusing on the day ahead
>Maud speaks up, breaking the silence in the air, looking towards Cloudy
>"Mom, I don't think I'll be able to join you on the trip to Ponyville. I’m afraid that my thesis is the top priority at the moment, and I can't put off a single day on doing it lest my work schedule is broken."
>"That's quite alright, Maud. Something tells me that it'd be too crowded with seven ponies in one group, so it's for the best you stay behind. Promise me that thine thesis will be completed before we get back, however..."
>"I can do it in four days or less. Any more than that and I'll have a heart attack."
>You take a seat and dig into the soup, finishing in about forty seconds, which is a new record
>Complimenting that, you have some rock toast (which is crunchy, but you're sure that the rocks are just burnt)
>After that, you have some rock water (bitter, but ultimately nutritious for a growing mare like you)
>Of course, on top of that, you have to finish off with a rock sandwich, a healthy dose of small pebbles in between two slabs of marble
>Rock cupcakes taste pretty sweet as well—
>"Pinkie! Since when did thee appetite get to such unmeasurable heights? Thou hast cleared our kitchen bare!"
>Sheepishly, you look back to her, rubbing the back of your head
"Sorry, mom! I'm just ready 'n raring to go, you know? I can take on anything at any time!"
>"Is that so? Art thou saying that thou hast been prepared for anything?"
"Yes!"
>In a flash, a mountain of dishes appear in the sink, Cloudy grinning as everyone gets to work on the rock farm
>"Then, surely, I have full confidence that thou ist able to complete this task. Once you have finished that, then thou shouldest say thine goodbyes to everyone."
>As she leaves, you look back onto the dishes and sigh, your tummy grumbling again
"Yare yare..."
>Putting the last dish in the cupboard, you wipe your forehead with your hoof, positively knackered after such a task
>You're not a stranger to washing dishes, of course, but getting rocks out of dishes is a nightmare
>ESPECIALLY when it's quartz you have to get out
>Celestiadamn, it's straight up near-impossible, even with the help of your Paradox
>Looking at a nearby clock, you take note of the time, which is nine in the morning
>What's the date? Wednesday? Thursday?
>You've honestly forgotten, but you suppose it doesn't matter since the train will show up anyway and you can load everything on
>The debt you're racking at this rate is gonna be immeasurable
>Might have to get a small loan of a million dollars from the rock bank at this point
>Or maybe sell some stones from the Quartz Quadrant so you can raise money to pay her back?
>You see Trixie waving at you from out the window, prompting you to wave to her back
>"Trixie says hello!"
"Pinkie says hello back!"
>Going back to her work, you kick back and relax on one of the chairs next to the table, your Paradox doing the same
>You ask it to get a drink, to which it does; traditional mineral water, straight from the tap
>Taking a sip, you sigh, before looking behind you
>Cloudy's standing in the doorway with a stoic expression, causing you to fall backwards out of shock
"M-Mom?!"
>"Nay, it shalt be a ghost. Who else could it be?"
>Smiling, Cloudy stand over you, lifting you up with her hooves and ruffling your mane
>"We will be leaving soon. It is advisable that thine belongings are gathered and goodbyes are said."
"Alright, mom. I'll be there in a second!"
>Cloudy takes her leave, humming a tune to herself as she leaves
>Prancing out the house, you notice Trixie is coming towards you, a gentle smile being the most defining feature on her face
>”The Honest and Hardworking Trixie has been told that you’re going to leave for a while. Trixie has therefore decided to give you a farewell more spectacular than ever before!”
>Posing, the showpony laughs as fireworks set off in the background, putting on a spectacular display amongst a cacophony of noise
>Reds, whites, and blues litter the sky as one word is illuminated in the day sky: “GOODBYE”
>”TRIXIE!”
>Sheepishly, the pony stops posing, leaning in close to you as Limestone glares at the both of you
>”Trixie's been doing this all day, so she’s been slacking off on doing work… She has to go now. It was nice talking to you, Twilight’s Friend!”
“The name is Pinkie, Trixie. See you later sometime in the future!”
>As she leaves, Limestone looks into your direction and smiles faintly, before heading back to work
>A mare of few words, you can just tell that she put her all into that farewell, which warms your heart
>Who knew that someone with a heart of stone could show so much feeling?
>You have no time to waste, so you take your leave and move around the side of the house, where Maud is sitting
>She seems peaceful, muttering something to herself before she notices you, a blank stare coming from her
>”Hello, Pinkie. Is everything alright?”
“Yep! What happened to ‘my thesis is the top priority’?”
>”I figured I could take a break before resuming progress. My rocktorate, after all, is a delicate thing. I can’t mess around and make mistakes.”
>Maud looks down for a moment, muttering something again before looking up at you
>”Mom said you were going to leave today. Are you going to say your goodbyes? Where are you going next?”
“Hmm… Not sure! I’m thinking of heading up to Baltimare next week for something interesting. The Wonderbolts show. I'm just gonna say goodbye to everyone first.”
>”I understand. I’ve been wanting to say a poem to you before you go. I’ve been practicing for a while.”
“Lay it on me, sister!”
>Maud clears her throat, taking a deep breath before staring straight at you, and saying it monotonously
“The Rock’s Ballad.
Rocks are heavy.
My heart is, too.
Therefore,
My heart is the same as a rock;
Large enough to hold my love for you.”
>At the end of the poem, you sob loudly, touched by such profound prose
>You thought that Limestone’s farewell was emotional enough, but this poem truly made you feel for Maud
“Maud… I love you so much.”
>Maud softly smiles, motioning to inside the house slowly
>”Likewise. Marble’s inside, most likely, so you can say goodbye to her and then leave. Take care.”
>You’re on your way to say goodbye to your other sister, traveling to her room and knocking on her door
>No, not that one, the other one
>The OTHER other one
>Marble Pie, silly
>”Mhm?”
“It’s me, Marble! I’ve come to say goodbye!”
>“...Mhmm…”
>She opens the door, looking as shy as always as she looks into your eyes
>What could she be shy about? Doesn’t she know that you won’t hurt her?
“So, I just wanted to come and tell you I love you and I’ll miss you a lot! It was great seeing you again, even if it was just for a bit!”
>“Mhmm.”
>Rubbing her hoof against her leg, she mutters something before looking to the side
>”Luv’ ya, too.”
“Aw…”
>Wrapping the shrinking violet in a big hug, you smile as she looks more anxious than she already does
“Don’t worry, Marble! When I come back, you and I can have some fun! I’ll happily paint Holder’s Boulder again with you as long as you smile!”
>”I HEARD THAT!”
>The two of you laugh at Limestone’s exclamation, you finally letting go and walking out the doorway
“I’ll be back before you know it! See ya!”
>You hate saying goodbyes
>The rest of the journey back to Ponyville was, quite frankly, a giant bore and a blur
>You can’t tell which is which since time is going too fast for you to register
>Sighing, you wipe your tears and look out the window, hoping to see something interesting
>Maybe Sweet Victory limping back towards the mountain?
>Maybe the cave you visited while at Burning Blaze’s place?
>No, just trees and a village with yellow houses and white walls
>Oh, you’re back in Ponyville!
>Snapping out of your sadness-induced haze, you practically rush out the train and into your home, smiling as all the ponies look towards you in joy
>”Hey, Pinkie! It’s good to have you back,” says a mare with a carrot cutie mark
>”Howdy, Pinkie,” Applebloom cheers, selling apples at a stall
>You presume that it’s to try and get her cutie mark, with how enthusiastically she’s advertising it
>Breathing in the air that smells faintly of flowers and sweets, you hum, slowing your pace and taking in the scenery
>Ah, it’s just as good and as peaceful as you remember—
>”JUST 'FOOLING AROUND,' HUH? YOU BLEW UP MY FUCKING COUCH, LYRA!”
>Wincing, you prance away as Bon Bon explodes at Lyra, the walls not soundproof enough to hide their argument
>Was Bon Bon always such a pottymouth or what?
>First thing’s first, however;
>You have to be smart and go to the library and look through all the books about Paradoxes in order to be a bit more knowledgeable about what you’re facing against
>Surprisingly, Twilight seems to not be inside today, the inhabitants of the large library absent
>You’d be surprised, but you’re busy focusing on all the books you can read
>Which ones have something to do with Stands?
>Furthermore, why are all her books done with titles in alphabetical order instead of authors?
>You’re not exactly the smartest pony around, but you know your stuff when it comes to books
>Flipping across the vast section of books, you skim the titles for something worthwhile that can help you…
>”A September’s Only Memory”
>”Fantastic Feasts And Where To Find Them”
>”Four Balls, Four Stories”
>”Pinkie’s Bizarre Adventure: Friendship is Unbreakable”
>”PARADOX POWER: Abilities, Metaphors, and Songs”
>”Pumpkin Hill: A Graveyard Theory?”
>”Soft & Wet”
>”Why The Number Before Five And After Three Is The Worst Number”
>There’s only three here that look remotely interesting, and you’re not sure which to pick
>Well, to further the plot, you may as well read the Paradox book…
“Well, let’s check this one out!”
>Flipping a page, you take a look within…
>Well, the smell of old books is a welcome one as you peer inside, the concoction instantly giving you memories of…
>Books, obviously
>What with the archaic font and the fancy ink being used, it’s surprising it hasn’t been put in a museum
>On the page you’re on, you’re caught off guard by how not-boring it is despite being older than you are
>The information inside is interesting, but the most captivating part is the pictures alongside it
>Bipedal figures locked in combat, their masters behind them and decked out in impossibly cool gear, posing dramatically
>It’s enough to make you think it’s one of those novel adaptations of an awesome movie
>The text underneath reads the following, which makes you quirk an eyebrow in interest
>”Recreation of Paradox fight between two ponies. Photo taken circa 1850 AD.”
>”Left to right: ‘Black Dahlia’ with 「Bombs Over Baghdad」, ‘Radio Shine’ with 「Electric Toothbrush」”
 >To say the least, this has you hooked! Who couldn’t be, with names like those?
>The most enthralling bit has to be the picture itself, mostly because of how awesome it looks
>More specifically, the ponies themselves, particularly the ferocity they’re exhibiting
>Part of you wants to see their first fight, but does anyone really want to see it except for you?
>Flipping across another page, you get into another piece of information detailing what Paradoxes are
>They say a rule of writing is “Show, don’t tell”, but you can’t do exposition with pictures
>Or something like that? It’s not like it matters, anyway
>As you read, a tidbit catches your eye, hidden amidst seas of jargon, juxtaposition, and waves of words, prompting you to speak out loud to no one in particular
“Hm… ‘A Paradox can be considered many things to many ponies. One may think it’s a problem which will never be solved, while the other may think that it’s a gift given to us by Celestia herself. It is both, yet neither. The manifestation of your mind, your body and soul is not a gift nor a problem.’”
>Is this a footnote or something? Flipping through the pages once again, your eyesight’s attrained to yet another little drabble
“‘Your Paradox will have strange names, attributed to strange powers and strange designs. Those who have the will to fight will have a strong Paradox, while those who want to protect others will have a durable one. There is no perfect Paradox. If there was, then we would surely know of its existence.’ Okay, now this is getting boring!”
>After a lot of searching and a lot of philosophical questions which you don’t have the answers to, you finally get a single iota of information you need
“Here we are! ‘In essence, a Paradox is you. You are not your Paradox, but your Paradox represents yourself and everything you stand for.’ Eh... ‘However, should your Paradox be harmed, you will as well. Those who are clever will win fights without a single scratch, while those who think with their fists will surely be sent to Tartarus.’”
>Eventually, your skimming is halted as you just can’t make sense of things
>The only thing you got is this that this pony was doing a thesis on the things to use so much synonyms
>That, and you can beat someone by being smart and not having your Paradox hurt
>Who knew, right?
>The thing worth mentioning is that the ponies you saw before actually disappeared recently, as is said at the end of the book
>It was published in 1986 AD, so it’ll be a long time before they’re ever found
>If they’re still around, that is
>Shuddering, you close the book at last, before placing it back in its allocated placing
>At the very least, you found something out
>Prancing out of the enormous husk of a tree, you hum to yourself, wondering what to do now
>Twilight’s gone for a bit, so what should you do to pass the time?
>Sighing, you look around, before seeing Applejack sprinting towards you faster than you are whenever you see free food
>”There you are! Ah was worried that you wouldn’t be around here!”
>Panting, she looks around, before leaning in and whispering into your ears
>”Before you say anything, Ah need you for somethin’. Turns out, eh… We’re gonna have some company here.”
“Huh? We’re having more friends? Oh, my gosh, I’m gonna have to get all the partied ready and all the—“
>”Pinkie! This isn’t good company! This is bad company, enough to be worse company, even!”
>Stopping in your tracks as you preorder multiple packs of confetti and sprinkles, you look onto the cowpony, who’s gripping onto her hat slightly
>A out-of-place weariness is on her face, and it kind of creeps you out
>As she looks upon the ponies of Ponyville, she winces, before looking back upon you
>”Granny Smith… She told me that this place used to be a town filled with Rock Ponies, y’know.”
>Oh, boy! More exposition!
>Grabbing a bowl of buttery popcorn (which is very nutritious for a growing mare), you listen intensely, Applejack continuing with her spiel
>”Way back when, when Luna ‘n Celestia were working together, the Rock Ponies helped ‘em out with land disputes and projects like that. Y’know Zecora? Yep, they were like her, except a bit more powerful.”
“Yeah? Why does that matter? We’re not buying more land, are we?”
>Applejack then sighs, rubbing her temples with a frustrated expression
>”Pinkie, the Apple Farm was built on their land. Supposedly, Mom and Dad had more than a few fights with ‘em. Ah’m giving you a heads up because Ah know it’s a reason why you ‘n Ah are gonna get into trouble.”
>Nodding, you sigh as well
>There’s nothing funny about getting into trouble, although the image of a rock buying a rock makes you giggle
“Well, at least you can rest easy knowing your friend’s here to help you! I mean, what’s the worst that’s gonna happen, right?”
>”Pretty much everythin’. That reminds me, too—the gals from the cave are stayin’ back in Ponyville. Probably to do somethin’ important.”
>Laughing, the two of you then begin to look around, setting a mental note in your head to count down the days until next week
>Probably on Friday you’re gonna have to leave
>Until then, you need to find out just a little more about the ponies in Ponyville who have Paradoxes
>After all, who’s to say that there aren’t Rock Ponies still living in Ponyville?
>Soon enough, a feeling of dread sets over you as things begin to overwhelm you
>You never considered the fact that your enemy could be right beside you
>It’s especially so as you notice a few ponies who weren’t familiar before, and you know who’s who
>You haven’t thrown a party for an earth pony with daisy-yellow hair, cyan skin, and a golden cherry as a cutie mark…
><==To=Be=Continued====
——————
“PARADOX POWER: Abilities, Metaphors, and Songs”
Written by “Ruby Rose”
Chapter 3, Pg. 34-35

Pg. 34

THE TEXTBOOK DEFINITION OF A PARADOX

A Paradox can be considered many things to many ponies. One may think it’s a problem which will never be solved, while the other may think that it’s a gift given to us by Celestia herself. It is both, yet neither. The manifestation of your mind, your body and soul is not a gift nor a problem.

The concept of a Paradox in that sense is that it will be there for you, but you won’t understand it. The pony named “Black Dahlia” had the Paradox 「Bombs Over Baghdad」, and we, currently, have no idea what it meant in the slightest. What is “Baghdad”? Why are there bombs over Baghdad? In any recording of Equestria history, no political entirety has the linguistic similarity to that. If it has the name of something that doesn’t exist, it’s a Paradox. That’s the beauty of those powers.

Your Paradox will have strange names, attributed to strange powers and strange designs. Those who have the will to fight will have a strong Paradox, while those who want to protect others will have a durable one. There is no perfect Paradox. If there was, then we would surely know of its existence.

Pg. 35

As with all representations, it will reflect your own strength and will not falter when you get harmed. However, should your Paradox be harmed, you will as well. Those who are clever will win fights without a single scratch, while those who think with their fists will surely be sent to Tartarus.

Despite this, those who perceive themselves as perfect will have flawed abilities. One who considers himself stronger than a minotaur will gain an immensely powerful Paradox, but will sacrifice speed and durability for it. As was stated before, there is no perfect Paradox. Only immensely powerful ones. Some are able to outclass even unicorns—there is one that has been theorised to travel throughout universes, but it’s only a theory. That isn’t to say that there are weak ones, however.

In essence, a Paradox is you. You are not your Paradox, but your Paradox represents yourself and everything you stand for. Power is power, and dexterity is dexterity—there has only been a few Paradoxes that directly hinder the user.