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Batias

Praise Firegirl

Batias
Jan 14th, 2017
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  1. firegirl122: ok
  2. firegirl122: well
  3.  
  4. DemigodWaterfur: Firegirl has no opinions
  5.  
  6. batias: Firegirl is eternally neutral.
  7.  
  8. DemigodWaterfur: She's dead.
  9. DemigodWaterfur: lol
  10.  
  11. Jona1athan: I'm eternally stupid.
  12.  
  13. DemigodWaterfur: Imagine that
  14. DemigodWaterfur: A dead thing
  15. DemigodWaterfur: Typing a keyboard
  16.  
  17. batias: She has already conceptualized the heavenly daos of yin and yang.
  18.  
  19. DemigodWaterfur: HAH
  20.  
  21. firegirl122: wow just wow
  22.  
  23. batias: I don't appreciate your blasphemy, Demi.
  24.  
  25. batias: wow just wow
  26. batias: The sacred chants are growing higher in difficulty.
  27. batias: sigh
  28.  
  29. firegirl122: what the
  30.  
  31. batias: hmm
  32. batias: Sing the songs and hymns of Firegirl with me, heathens.
  33. batias: wow just wow
  34.  
  35. Jona1athan: huh?
  36.  
  37. batias: That's the spirit, Jon.
  38. batias: sigh
  39.  
  40. firegirl122: umm
  41.  
  42. batias: ^^^^ Pristine Quality chant right there, folks. Take notes.
  43. batias: umm
  44.  
  45. Jona1athan: Pristine quality chant...
  46. Jona1athan: BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD
  47. Jona1athan: that's a good one too
  48.  
  49. batias: Your kind isn't welcome here, Heretic.
  50.  
  51. BooBooLaBoosh__: batias i didnt know you were so close to him
  52.  
  53. batias: We follow the doctrine of Firegirl.
  54.  
  55. Jona1athan: oh okay
  56. Jona1athan: *floats away*
  57.  
  58. batias: wow just wow
  59. batias: man
  60. batias: sigh
  61.  
  62. firegirl122: i'm a little lost now
  63.  
  64. batias: No need to stop your closed door meditation to bother with the affairs of us mortals, Firegirl.
  65.  
  66. firegirl122: um ok
  67.  
  68. Jona1athan: BOW DOWN HEATHENS
  69.  
  70. batias: Please rest assured and go back to comprehending the secrets of the universe.
  71. batias: really
  72.  
  73. firegirl122: ummm
  74.  
  75. batias: ummm
  76.  
  77. Jona1athan: huh?
  78.  
  79. BooBooLaBoosh__: this place is a good place
  80.  
  81. WizAndrea: It is?
  82.  
  83. batias: Of course it's a good place. Where else can you hear the mantras of the great one herself?
  84.  
  85. WizAndrea: I'm the great one?
  86.  
  87. firegirl122: *looks at them*
  88.  
  89. batias: Nah, you're jizz. I'm talking about Firegirl.
  90.  
  91. Jona1athan: She deigns to look upon us! Bow down!
  92.  
  93. BooBooLaBoosh__: how do i join the cult of firegirl
  94.  
  95. batias: You need not do anything but join in on the singing of the songs and hymms of Firegirl.
  96.  
  97. BooBooLaBoosh__: praise be upon her
  98.  
  99. batias: umm, ummm, hmm, ok, wow just wow, really, shit, huh, and any other great posting that she gifts us with.
  100.  
  101. firegirl122: *walks to the fire place*
  102.  
  103. batias: Woah, calm down. You're gonna oversaturate us. My feeble mortal heart can't take this.
  104.  
  105. firegirl122: hmm
  106.  
  107. BooBooLaBoosh__: what's she gonna do there
  108.  
  109. firegirl122: thinking
  110.  
  111. Jona1athan: FIRE FOR THE FIRE GIRL
  112.  
  113. BooBooLaBoosh__: i wonder what shes thinking about
  114.  
  115. batias: A congregation of nearby followers prostrate themselves to Firegirl and join in on the chant, letting out a mass of soft 'hmm's.
  116.  
  117. firegirl122: *fire started to grow*
  118.  
  119. Jona1athan: We must offer a burnt sacrifice!
  120.  
  121. BooBooLaBoosh__: ITS GROWING
  122. BooBooLaBoosh__: WHOS GONNA BE THE SAC
  123.  
  124. batias: The prostrate followers awe in worship of Firegirl's power.
  125.  
  126. Jona1athan: I will be the sacrifice.
  127.  
  128. BooBooLaBoosh__: SAC ME! SAC ME!
  129.  
  130. Jona1athan: *pours petrol on Boo and myself*
  131. Jona1athan: give sacc
  132.  
  133. BooBooLaBoosh__: LIGHT IT FIREGIRL
  134. BooBooLaBoosh__: WE VOLUNTEER AS TRIBUTE
  135.  
  136. Jona1athan: FIRE FOR THE FIRE GIRL
  137.  
  138. firegirl122: *I get on the ceiling*
  139.  
  140. batias: wow just wow
  141.  
  142. Jona1athan: huh?
  143.  
  144. BooBooLaBoosh__: holy shit.......
  145. BooBooLaBoosh__: d-does gravity mean nothing to her!?
  146.  
  147. firegirl122: hm what
  148. firegirl122: umm
  149.  
  150. batias: The mass followers, in their extremely flammable cotton red robes, follow Firegirl's words in accordance. "hm what. umm"
  151.  
  152. BooBooLaBoosh__: hm what umm indeed
  153.  
  154. firegirl122: sigh
  155.  
  156. Jona1athan: The congregation sighs in unison.
  157.  
  158. firegirl122: *looks at them*
  159.  
  160. batias: Having Firegirl's attention, one particular devote follower throws himself into the growing fire. His pained happy shouts of "hm what. umm" fill the air.
  161.  
  162. TommyG72: lol XD
  163.  
  164. firegirl122: uhh
  165.  
  166. TommyG72: XD
  167. TommyG72: wow
  168.  
  169. Jona1athan: wow just wow
  170.  
  171. TommyG72: thats one way to get someones attention
  172.  
  173. Jona1athan: huh?
  174.  
  175. BooBooLaBoosh__: lmao
  176.  
  177. Jona1athan: heck
  178.  
  179. TommyG72: lol XD
  180.  
  181. batias: The gathering of followers continue with Firegirl's lead: "uhh".
  182. batias: The fire billows as the burning follower's chanting turns into ash.
  183.  
  184. firegirl122: hhmmm
  185.  
  186. batias: Hearing one profound word after another, the congregation can only lament that the ground beneath them prevents them from bowing any further. The followers grow hysterical, never having gotten this much attention from their patron god Firegirl before.
  187.  
  188. firegirl122: come again
  189.  
  190. Jona1athan: Several of the followers pick up the cans of gasoline they had brought, and begin to douse themselves and each other, preparing for a mass burnt offering.
  191.  
  192. firegirl122: hmm
  193. firegirl122: ok then
  194. firegirl122: you think
  195.  
  196. batias: The pack of wild devotees become even more resolute with the coming sacrifice with every esoteric word that flows from Firegirl's mouth. "hhmmm, come again, hmm, ok then"
  197.  
  198. firegirl122: uh
  199.  
  200. Jackie_Rainbows: firegirl. I've been looking at your butt and I was wondering...
  201. Jackie_Rainbows: .. if I could ahve it?
  202.  
  203. batias: HERESY
  204.  
  205. firegirl122: ummmm
  206.  
  207. batias: Firegirl's butt is something you can only behold, not have!
  208.  
  209. Jackie_Rainbows: just.. gimmie dat butt.
  210. Jackie_Rainbows: Gimmie dat Butt! &chases after firegirl*
  211.  
  212. firegirl122: *started to fly*
  213.  
  214. Jackie_Rainbows: GIMMIE DAT BUTT! *Pulls her down, grabbing her booty*
  215.  
  216. batias: I am honestly upset.
  217.  
  218. firegirl122: *she was in the sky*
  219.  
  220. Jackie_Rainbows: batias, gimmie your butt.
  221.  
  222. batias: Let my devotees die in a fiery explosion before you start blaspheming in front of them.
  223. batias: I have to go so I'll just ignore those posts for now
  224.  
  225. Jackie_Rainbows: :C
  226.  
  227. firegirl122: *I was on thefloor*
  228.  
  229. firegirl122: hehehe
  230.  
  231. Jona1athan: *floats away*
  232.  
  233. firegirl122: hmm
  234.  
  235. batias: The congregation splits, making way for a follower in fire themed ritualistic body paint. He carried a large wooden torch and a solemn look on his face as he marched his way to Firegirl, who stood in the mist of the congregation.
  236.  
  237. firegirl122: *look at them*
  238.  
  239. batias: The followers chanting was no longer soft, but fierce unified shouting: "you think, uh, ummmm, hehehe, hmm"
  240.  
  241. firegirl122: what
  242.  
  243. Jackie_Rainbows: "Wow. She's so... conceited!" I laugh. "She even has her own cult to worship her!"
  244.  
  245. firegirl122: ugh
  246.  
  247. batias: The devotee in fire body paint rose his arms over his head, leading the followers to stand up from their previous prostrate position and come together tightly, body against body. Of course, the circle of space no one dared to tread into remained open around Firegirl.
  248.  
  249. firegirl122: What the
  250.  
  251. BooBooLaBoosh__: ****ing batias
  252.  
  253. batias: The pack of wild followers strained their voices to shout once more in accordance to Firegirl's instructions: "what, ugh, What the"
  254.  
  255. firegirl122: oh man
  256.  
  257. Jackie_Rainbows: "he*" I correct myself. "He's kinda handsome..." I giggle a bit, then fling my black cloak on, raising my hood and "leap of faith off of the perch I was standing on. Instead of landing in a bale of hay, I do a roll and stand up, brushing myself off.
  258.  
  259. firegirl122: what now
  260.  
  261. batias: The devotee in body paint released the torch, letting it fall onto the tight pack of followers. Dropping on their bodies, the flame immediately leapt up in a sizzling roar. The cotton red robes the followers were made to wear provided sufficient fuel for the flames as it made it's way from follower to follower.
  262.  
  263. firegirl122: uhhhh that the
  264.  
  265. Jackie_Rainbows: "Should I..... Ruin things?"
  266.  
  267. firegirl122: I am ready to die
  268.  
  269. batias: Stubborn last minute cries of "oh man, what now, uhhhh that the" were shouted out as the wave of fire spread and roasted the bodies of the followers of the doctrine of Firegirl.
  270.  
  271. firegirl122: uhhh
  272.  
  273. Jackie_Rainbows: I pull from my cloak an obscenley large crimon sword, its hot iron blade cooled not with water, but with blood from previous human sacrifices, and such demonic shit makes the blood it sheds increase the blade's durability.
  274.  
  275. firegirl122: um
  276.  
  277. Jackie_Rainbows: "HAAAAAAAAAAAAALATOONLAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" I scream, leaping forward sword in the air, the sunset gleaming off off the metal, my target in sight: the decorated host of the sacrifice.
  278.  
  279. batias: Soon, only the roars of the fire and their patron god Firegirl's abstruse words were heard as the bodies of the devotees went limp and turned to ashes.
  280.  
  281. batias: K, I'm done.
  282. batias: This is not what I should be doing at 3 in the morning.
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