Yoshiko's Talk

[01:04] Anira exclaims, "... I hate fighting in the dark!"
[01:05] Yoshiko Taiyang says, "Don't worry.. I can provide enough light."
[01:05] Anira exclaims, "Thanks!"
[01:08] {Won Restrained RPB against Anira}
[01:09] Anira exclaims, "You fight a lot.. Differently then the other people I've fought!"
[01:10] Yoshiko Taiyang says, "... Anastasia and I fight similar but there's the differences in weapon usage."
[01:10] Yoshiko Taiyang says, "No one else is like us, from what I've seen.."
[01:10] Anira asks, "I've only got my claws! Does she glow like you do?"
[01:10] Yoshiko Taiyang says, "Not as strongly but she does in fact glow."
[01:11] Anira says, "I've seen a LOT of blood and ice mages... But usually they have something else too."
[01:11] Yoshiko Taiyang says, "One of the Princesses made an older man quit his life when they fought him. They had a similar magic-type..."
[01:11] Anira says, "... I learned ice magic, because it's pretty. Wait. What."
[01:11] Anira says, "Quit his life. Like... You know.."
[01:11] Anira makes a rope motion around her own neck.
(Anira)
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[01:11] Yoshiko Taiyang says, "Uh.. I'm not sure."
[01:12] Anira asks, "Did he just vanish?"
[01:12] Yoshiko Taiyang says, "I just never saw him again after that day."
[01:12] Anira says, "I wonder why he gave up..."
[01:12] Anira says, "The royals tend to be strong. Elisha and Elaine can give me a run for my coin! And beat me."
[01:13] Yoshiko Taiyang says, "They are.."
[01:13] Anira says, "Philip, however.. Cannot beat me."
[01:13] Anira says, "Or Ulfric.. Or Tea.."
[01:13] Anira says, "... Or Lumin.."
[01:13] Yoshiko Taiyang says, "Philip is a special case, sadly.."
[01:13] Yoshiko Taiyang says, "They're... all special cases."
[01:13] Anira asks, "How so?"
[01:13] Yoshiko Taiyang says, "Tea doesn't use magic.."
[01:13] Anira says, "I've noticed that. I still don't understand why..."
[01:13] Yoshiko Taiyang says, "Perhaps she has something to prove."
[01:14] Anira says, "Something about Rhyonish only needing their fists. But.. You'd think he'd grow out of that childish mindset."
[01:14] Anira grimaces glumly. "Especially when it'll just get him killed."
(Anira)
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[01:14] Yoshiko Taiyang says, "They're a she again."
[01:14] Anira exclaims, "Oh! She then!"
[01:15] Yoshiko Taiyang says, "But.. if they have something to believe then I am glad they are going through with it."
[01:15] Yoshiko Taiyang says, "Something to prove, rather."
[01:15] Anira asks, "I guess I'm not like you, am I?"
[01:15] Yoshiko Taiyang asks, "Why do you say that, dear?"
[01:16] Anira says, "Because. I'm not all that glad. That something to prove? Won't be enough, if they ever fight Osrona. If she ever fights me. For real."
[01:16] Anira says, "And I'm still not sure, if I want to win."
[01:17] Anira asks, "I know I won't have the will to fight them either. And you know what people do when they don't have the willpower right?"
[01:17] Yoshiko Taiyang asks, "And what would that be?"
[01:17] Anira says, "They use outside help. Rage potions, Sylvanum. Anything to make sure, that you can't think about it. And just act."
[01:17] Anira asks, "... It's silly. I keep hoping that they just.. Never will march towards Osrona. But, that's foolish isn't it?"
[01:18] Yoshiko Taiyang says, "Well.. I've never seen them take that vile drug but hm.. "
[01:18] Anira says, "No... I'd take it."
[01:19] Yoshiko Taiyang says, "I see..."
[01:19] Anira says, "I don't have the will. Them? They've got their names to live up to. Ghede, Petrakis... So on.. So on.."
[01:19] Anira says, "They'll be able to turn that blade on me in an instant. Like Ana said, right? For Duty, and I may see her as her, but... I've seen a common theme with royals."
[01:19] Anira says, "It's always about duty."
[01:20] Anira says, "Me? I'm weak. I'd probably break down. So. I'll have no choice, to protect what's important to me. I'll need to... Shut it off. That bit of me that's warm..."
[01:21] Anira quietly shrugs, her stare? A lot more glassy, and tired. It was something that was on her mind constantly now. "At least I know Elaine and Elisha have the strength to beat me. Will they when I'm on so many drugs that my brain isn't anything but primal mush? I don't know."
(Anira)
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[01:23] Yoshiko Taiyang says, "Your thinking sounds abyssmal. I'm not sure why you would think a name truly matters. It's the person not the name."
[01:31] "You're... You're missing the point." Anira grumbled, rubbing her claws along her face. "And yeah, it is abysmal. Okay, picture yourself, right? You have to fight Ana. In a war. You can't not fight her, if you don't? You'll have to watch her destroy everything you love. And I mean everything. Maybe even herself." Anira pulled her muscles tight, strained for a moment while she stared at the older, yet taller kitsune.

"How am I supposed to feel anything but dread? Huh? Eventually all of my friends are going to fight Osrona. That's.. That's just a GIVEN. It's not a matter of if, it's a matter of when. And I can't let them kill my family. Not after I lost the first one..." Her voice grows quiet before she rolls her eyes yet again.

"And the name bit? That's because they'll have the willpower to fight an old friend. Elisha? Tea? Elaine? Philip? Ulfric? They all can and will raise their blades against me. If they have no other choice, because I won't step aside. Why? Because, their families, their history, their 'duties'. You're right! The names don't matter."

Anira was growing exasperated, or was it frustrated? Her clawed hands raised in the air. "But when they make their entire life revolve around that name? They become it. Instead of themselves... I grew up with them, and you know what fucking sucks? Nothing has changed.... They are the same people they were when I met them. Their beliefs? Have only gotten stronger. And I wish I... I wish I was the same person. That believed in what I used to believe in. Because then? I wouldn't have to fight them."

Anira grunted, stepping away from the arena with a mumble.

"What does it matter. You don't know me. Why should anyone care but me."
(Anira)
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[01:49] Anira is in her angsty teenage years... yay.
(Anira)
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[02:01] "Mmm."

Yoshiko felt like she was talking to herself but the complete opposite. She wasn't quite sure on how to understand them but she would try her best at least. She never gave up in that regard.

She'd stay quiet for the moment. She wanted to think and ponder before she gave Anira her honest answer. And this answer might make her adamant or the opposite. Yoshiko wasn't sure on the aftermath of her words but she never hesitated to speak them.

"I would be against saving a friend from destroying themselves.. Besides..." Yoshiko would look towards the wooden flooring and smile if only a little. "I've lost most if not all my friends already." She saw Anastasia as her sister. But her friends, Atlas, Aeolus, Nephele, and many others were perished against their own will. They did not go through meaningful and tranquil demises. They suffered...

"I have the feeling that you think I might not understand whatyou mean. I've been through two wars and I can say that I actually did have to go against my friends in that time. I was indifferent towards it. Personally, I wouldn't kill my friends.. but the time came to it, I wouldn't kill them outright. I would make sure they were given a purging from this world. One where they could pass without pain and only peace... But alas, you aren't me."

Yoshiko would rest their eyes on them as they began to walk. They continued to speak.

"You're right.. They will have the will to raise their blade against you and even harm you in the process. And if it comes down to it, they will even make you meet your demise. You are entirely correct. I understand that any time I have come to cross mana with my friends.

For example... Misha was a really great friend. I saw her as an older sister when I was younger. Then she saw me make friends with those in Nysea and then she beat me up continuously to make a point.

Then.... she harmed me in combat because she saw me. It hurt a lot. Not physically, mentally. She did it recently here too when I went to protect Anastasia..

But I think I understand why she did it. Everyone has a reason for the things they do. But I still see Misha as a friend and less of an enemy. Because I forgave them for everything they've done. Even killing one of my friends in broad daylight..." She sighs. She didn't want to have to remember these times again but it was to make a slight point in Anira's words.

"But it doesn't matter now. If you keep thinking like that then why are they still your friends..?" she inquires as Anira passes by her, even the fox could hear those words. "Why should anyone care but yourself..? A good question. But again, if you think that way, maybe you should find the answer by yourself... Unless you seek help. You have other friends that could but... Well, I suppose it doesn't matter as you said." Yoshiko was fully expecting them to stop in their tracks after saying that. Which, the fox would turn, lessen her glow, and fully exit without another word.
(Yoshiko Taiyang)
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[02:12] "I wish I was... I wish I had that.. Self control...! To be just, 'indifferent' and fight just to protect. I can't even imagine fighting them for real. It's why I talked about Rage potions! Sylvanum. Because I can't I-.. I can't.. Lift my claws against them without something that can make me." Anira looked away from the Kitsune, her clawed fingers dragging through her thick, mess of a mane.

Anira blinked a few times though, distracted from her own inner woes when the Kitsune started talking about her friends in Nysea, about Misha beating her. It caused her to tense, quietly. "... Misha knows my friends are nobles and royals from Nysea, and Myllenoris… I used to even claim my dad was a Knight, just to.. Feel better. But he was just a mercenary- which made her relieved honestly." Anira laughed quietly, but it was a forced... Bitter laugh. That faded away. "... Hard to picture her doing that to someone she cares about. But... Her family is more important than your friendship."

That's just how it was. She could smell the acrid smoke flowing from the Razuka's lips, the cold glower she had given Anira when Anira dared to protect Lumin, over siding with Bolt...

And the relaxed, relieved and absolutely motherly response that'd been given, when Anira said it wouldn't happen again. And after meeting Walter? After watching interactions that made her remember her parents. She knew it wouldn't... This was her royally fucked up and dysfunctional family, after all.

Anira had stopped dead in her tracks. Even as she rolled her shoulders quietly. "Everyone here is my family, and my friends. But... But.." No, she didn't want to bring that up, she didn't want to talk about it. Bolt? Stav? Galv? None of them would really get her. Neither would any of her royal friends.

Anira had grown up, both sides of the coin. And it sounded like Yoshiko did too. Except, Yoshiko didn't give up, and Anira had. "They're still my friends, because it isn't that easy. Or maybe it is for other people. But... Even if they said they hate me, I'd still.. Care.. Which makes it hard... And I hate feeling like that.."

But, she did not stop Yoshiko from leaving.
(Anira)
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[02:21] "I never said it was easy, dear." Yoshiko did infact give her another one of her words.

"But just think of it this way... It will hurt. It is a painful. Sometimes you can heal that feeling so you live with it... None of it is easy."

Yoshiko said nothing else after that and continuing walking before finally reaching the exit of the dojo before looking back at Anira. Her lips didn't move but there would be voices in the Ookami's mind from the glance alone. It was purely illusion.

"... And it is never easy to let things go …
(Yoshiko Taiyang)
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[02:24] It's never easy to let things go...

Anira clenched her eyes shut and shook her head. Those words? Were close to her. Wicked, wicked happiness is what Loupe had called it. Anira didn't say anything in response, she only looked towards her claws. Clenching them open and shut.

The once human girl had only just come to accept her wolf side. The one craving a hunt, that liked the struggle and the fight.

And now? She was fighting her own morality... It wouldn't be easy, it could heal.. And letting things go?

"... It's funny.. My Dreamwalker said that wicked happiness can only be fixed by letting things go.. Uh, Thanks. Miss.." Who knows if the Kitsune heard her. But, maybe Yoshiko had helped in some way.
(Anira)