Pastebin Monday May 1st, 2017

A Pastebin About My Stream

Ok. As most of you know, I’ve made tons of pastebins about my stream before. Even I feel what I type is kind of redundant from time to time. However, this time will be different. I actually sat down and thought about different ideas that I wanted to talk about. THERE WILL BE NO TL;DR FOR THIS. What I want to talk about is way too long to be summed up in a couple of sentences. This will be long, and it will be detailed. This comes from deep down, and I took a long time debating about what I wanted to say.

***Streaming Schedule***

If you’ve ever watched my stream for any period of time, you know I stream when I want to, and when I feel like it. There are a couple of reasons for this. The biggest is my schedule at work. My schedule there involves us not having a set closing time, making it near impossible for me to have a set schedule.

Even if I did set a general time for what time I believe I would get off (my original idea was to do Sun-Wed from 12am-3am Central time, going longer if I was on a run), what would happen if I got off later? Sure, no big deal, tweet and let you guys know. But what about the times I get off early?

Well, if that happens, I have to sit around doing other things before I stream, because I think starting early is worse than starting late. When I do that, I tend to not want to stream, especially if I start playing a new game or start watching a series/tournament that I am interested in. This happens more frequently than you think, and it’s part of the reason why I never want to commit to a time.

If you do a schedule and are constantly early (think 3-4 times a month), then people feel cheated when you say you are going to start at a certain time, and then start earlier than that. Being late is one thing, but being early in my opinion would be so much worse.

Another problem I have is I sometimes lack motivation to stream the same thing for a long time (3+ hours) unless I am on a run. Ever since I stopped playing WoW in 2012, I have yet to find a game to take my attention near full time without burning me out. Sure, WoW did burn me out from time to time, and I would take days off, but never for longer than 2-3 days. It kept me coming back. Late 2012/early 2013 is when I found speedrunning, and I’ve enjoyed it ever since. However, I know it will never stimulate me or keep my attention like WoW did.

I get really excited to stream, enjoy it for about 30 minutes (regardless of how things are going), and then get bored and want to stop. It has nothing to do with the game, it just has to do only with streaming. I’ll get into why I feel this way in the next point, but I felt this fell into the whole schedule idea. Even if I could commit to a dedicated schedule, I know I would flake out after a few weeks because it felt “forced”. I never want to feel forced to do anything that I enjoy. I should just enjoy doing it.

***Streaming personality/growth***

I’ve always considered myself a “laid back” kind of person, but I am aware this is not the case. I ramble about things, I tend to go off on tangents, and most annoying to me, I rage way too much about things that don’t matter. Seeing a recent video on Youtube woke me up to that fact. I personally enjoyed my part of it, up until the loud scream at the end. Who even does that? Kids, that’s who. I know I rage, and I’ll probably never be able to change that. But, there is rage, and just screaming like a little child who didn’t get his way.

Because I do this terrible combination of laid back/rage, my stream growth recently has been stagnant for nearly a year. This doesn’t “bother” me for say, but I am not oblivious to that fact. Everybody streams to put on a show for people to enjoy, whether the person streaming wants to believe that or not (I feel like I need a mirror in my computer to look at my face right now).

I’ve tried to make excuses for myself for a while. “Oh, it’s the game. Not many people watch this game.” “Eh, I don’t really care that much.” “Partners are nothing but sellouts anyway.” All of it is bullshit. I know it. You know it. If you put on a good show, people will tune in to watch you, regardless of what you are playing. However, just because I know what it will take doesn’t mean I am willing to commit to do it.

“You need a schedule, and to interact with your audience non-stop. You need to be talking even when nothing is going on. You need to be fully 100% focused on what your stream is doing, and not be doing anything else. Dead air time means people tune out and leave. You also need to show people that donating/supporting your stream benefits THEM as well as yourself.”

All of the points I quoted above are a good starting point for getting a successful stream off the ground. It helps to be good at whatever you are streaming, but that can be an afterthought if you put on a good show. At this point in my life, I am not willing to do this. It’s not because I’m lazy or trying to be edgy. It’s just not my personality. If you knew me personally, you might say “What?! You are super outgoing, and always talkative and engaging with people! You would do great with that!”

The issue I have is when I want to focus on what I’m doing, I tend to tune everything else out. That means chat, friends, remembering to talk to engage my audience, etc. Like Hopeisnotlost likes to say “Lick your lips more.” It’s true though. When I’m in full focus mode, it’s what I do. I only hear my thoughts and the music of the game (or songs that I’m listening to). Sure, I might interact with chat/voice call during this time, but in all honestly, I forgot what I said 5 seconds later. It’s why for a long time now, I’ve been content with my stream exactly the way it is. I’d like to change that, but I just don’t see myself changing my gaming attitude that has brought me success with a variety of games for my entire life.

***Twitch Affiliate***

Recently, Twitch made an affiliate program for those who are wanting to be apart of the Twitch “family” and earn money for their hard work of streaming, without having to deal with the archaic requirements for Twitch partnership. Personally, I like the idea. It’s like a stepping stone for the ultimate goal of getting partner, and it helps those who should have partner already (I’m looking at a few people I know) get that little extra boost to get there. Plus, the requirements are low enough to where anybody who streams and has a shred of personality can get it.

So Kondi, you’re getting it right? Well...maybe. I need to ask a few more questions first. Yes, I do meet the requirements. And, I would be lying if I didn’t say I like the idea of free money for something that I just do casually and for fun. However, I have two huge problems with it. The first issue is with the cheering/bits program Twitch offers. If you are paying attention, the only real benefit you get from the Twitch Affiliate program is access to receiving donations through bits. At least at the current time.

Let me say something first. If I was Twitch, I would do this well. Bits makes them a nice bit of money, while allowing people to support their favorite streamers (and feel like it means something). After all, donations without any fanfare aren’t the way to go! Your donation means everything, and here’s a cool badge to show how awesome you are for giving a gift to someone you appreciate!

Jokes aside, I have a major moral objection to bits as I currently read it, and it’s mainly due to the rate they charge. Bits were designed as a way for Twitch to eat at some of the donation money streamers were receiving, and I am perfectly ok with this from that standpoint (even if the badges bother me). Where I have a problem is the purchase price for bits. 1500 bits for $19.95?! That’s spending $4.95 to purchase $15 worth of bits, plus the VAT. Compared that to Paypal, which charges 2.9% of the amount + $0.30 USD. Spending the same $19.95 to your favorite streamer will net them $19.07. Based on that, Paypals rate is around 10% including the extra $0.30 USD, and Twitch is just shy of 25%!

Now, obviously this doesn’t include the tax that you would have to pay on Paypal donations, and Twitch does charge you a VAT (Value-added tax) when you buy bits.However, I have a sneaking suspicion that bits are double taxed (Taxed when buying them, in addition to taxed again when you donate them to your favorite streamer). When I do get the e-mail for the affiliate program, this will be one of the first questions I ask them. If it is what I think, then I’m not really surprised.

Regardless of how they are taxed, Twitch still takes a MASSIVE cut of bits purchases, even if the Streamer isn’t “directly” affected. IIf Twitch was closer to 13-15% at the $20 level, I wouldn’t mind bits. I understand wanting to make money as a “smaller company”. However, at the current level, it is just something I don’t want to associate myself with. Subscriptions are one thing, as there is really no alternative. There is an alternative to bits. I won’t have bits active on my channel, regardless of how much my friends beg me to let them donate their ad bits.

While bits/cheering is the big reason I don’t want Affiliate, I also have a difficult time wanting to share my tax information with Twitch for such little money. If you are unaware, being a partner/affiliate on Twitch means providing them with your tax information so you can be taxed appropriately for what you earn. Standard stuff, but I am against it for something that would make me so little money. (EDIT: Oddly enough, I was shocked to see I was not the only one who had this complaint as well.)

Does this mean I will never have Twitch Affiliate? Not necessarily. I am not opposed to sharing my tax information with Twitch, but I am 100% against bits. However, there is a second option rolling out soon which allows you to have Sub and 1 Sub emote for your channel. I am actually interested in this, as people have an affinity with posting my face in more than my channel. When this option is available, I will e-mail Twitch support and ask them if it is an option to opt into the Sub button but NOT the bits, as there are still partnered streams that do not have bits activated. If not, whatever. If so, then the next section applies.

-Sub badge/emote/Webcam

This has been a thing I’ve thought about for a while, especially when I thought I could get partner when I was streaming more consistently in Winter 2015/Spring 2016. Honestly though, I’ve lost all thought about what I even wanted to do for emotes/badges/etc. I tend to leave that to people who will be the ones using them in my channel versus myself. However, I do want to make one thing very clear.

If I do get sub button independent of bits, the sub emote will not be my face.

Yes, I’ve said I would do it “for the memes xD”. However, I personally don’t like any picture I’ve taken since I turned 20. I think I might have less than 10 pictures of myself since 2007 (stills from my stream don’t count! I’m looking at you KonditionerLookingOutOfHisCarton.) I don’t like selfies, I don’t have social media outside of a Twitter for my online persona, and I’m not a fan of family photos.

This all comes from the terrible self-esteem I have about the way I look. I’ve made no secret that I am balding, and have been since I started college back in 2005. It really hurt to see all of the hair on top of my head fall out, and rub a bald spot with shampoo for so many years. I tried to compensate it for so long by keeping my hair long (it grows on the sides/front like weeds), but looking back at pictures when I did that makes me feel sad and disgusted at the same time.

Ever since I started keeping my hair to what is almost a buzz cut, it doesn’t bother me anymore to go out in public without a hat. However, showing it off online for the entire world to see has always bothered me. I made the mistake of buying a webcam when I really wanted to stream for a living in late 2013, and I wish I hadn’t have done it.

I do feel a lot better about myself more recently, especially since I dropped about 50 pounds since the last time I used webcam. But, using a webcam and being aware of my actions while I’m trying to play makes me play worse, as I try to overcompensate for “unattractive” things that I shouldn’t do.

With all of that said, I have very much enjoyed the images that have popped up from it, or even the memes that are now associated with either my face or actions I have performed while doing so. After all, if you can’t laugh at yourself, you can’t laugh at others flaws either.  I’ve made promises that I would use webcam again, but I doubt I will. Even recently, I was even approached by someone to make an emote with my face, and while I haven’t officially declined to do so, I think he knows by this point I’m not interested. If you are reading this and you don’t, then I’m sorry!

So, what emote would I use then? Honestly, I don’t even know. Something weeb related I’m sure. We will cross that bridge when we get to it. I don’t anticipate Twitch granting my request, so I believe this is a moot point. If it turns out not to be, then I’ll assemble my braintrust and we’ll work something out.

***Stream Plans for the rest of 2017***

After all of that long, drawn out stuff you just had to read, I figured I would reward you with my stream plans for the rest of the year. I feel like I do this weekly, but I think at this point I have a good idea of what I want to do with my life, as opposed to last year when I was in both a speedrunning and IRL conundrum.

Until sometime in July, I will be playing DKC3 or DKC2, with the main focus on DKC3. 103% is the main goal first, then Any% if I meet my goal. Then, in early/mid July, I will switch back to Banjo-Tooie 100% for the 1545% race that happens July 14-16. My run will have to be on the 16th due to work and such, but hopefully it won’t be a complete train wreck (it will).

After that, I originally stated I would return to DK64 101% on N64 to get a better time. At this point, however, I don’t really feel like doing that. My level of hatred for the game is approaching Banjo-Kazooie levels, and I’m not sure I want to put myself through that frustration again. My plan is to return to SNES, and keep playing DKC3 to meet my goals if I haven’t met them. If I have, then I seriously want to learn DKC2 102%, and maybe even DKC1 so I can do some 306% stuff. That has always sounded fun to me, with the only issue I have being jumprolls in Donkey 1.

I also got a bunch of Spyro/Crash games that my Mom had saved from my brother’s childhood, and I do enjoy those speedruns. I will be buying a PS2 Slim later this year, and might consider running these games if I find them enjoyable.

Once again, sorry about the load of information I’ve dumped on you guys with this pastebin. If you read it all, it is much appreciated.