The Key To Revenge

	Christmastime was nearing, and yet Keychain-anon felt something missing. It was like there was a hole in his heart that couldn’t be filled by anything, a constant emptiness, a sense of lacking, At first he was furious, sustaining himself off of his own pure rage, but as the last month of the year rolled around, he started to feel the fire fade. It approached midnight on the 24th of December, and Keychain-anon had still yet to find the meaning he needed in life, the hole in his heart remained unpatched, his keys remaining loosely strewn around the house, messily thrown on the kitchen table and the nightstand in his bedroom. So many locks would stay locked as their keys went missing in the piles, lost forever to time…
	Keychain-anon put his head through the noose. He gulped, swallowing his nervousness. It was time. He couldn’t bear it anymore. Suddenly, he hears a knock on his door, and the soft thud of a box being laid on his porch. Could it be…? Keychain-anon slipped his head out of the rope and ran to the door, pulling it open and snatching up the box, wrapped in nice yet tacky Christmas gift wrap, red and green stripes adorning the package, along with the odd Christmas tree or reindeer, all held together with a pretty little red ribbon at the top. He excitedly brought it inside and sat down on his couch with it, gently and delicately opening the wrapping, perhaps to commemorate the occasion with it later.

	His heart sank as he took the lid off the nicely-wrapped gift box. A horrific sight, like something from his deepest and darkest nightmares. This wasn’t what he ordered. He had ordered a Monika keychain in November...but in front of him sat a Natsuki keychain, a small note sitting in the box next to it. He unfolded the little piece of paper and read it aloud in his disbelief, the fancy handwriting rolling off the paper into his mind and echoing in there for a moment before spilling out of his mouth.
	“Sorry Keychain-anon! We ran out of Monika keychains, and the store staff have all committed suicide due to extremely strenuous work conditions. Except for the ones who died in the fire. Anyway, here’s a complimentary Natsuki keychain. I hope this will make it up for you. Be sure to buy Project Libitina when it comes out next year!
	-Dan Salvato
	P.S.: No refunds.”

	Keychain-anon clenched his fists in anger, crushing the piece of paper. That slimy little fuck. That miniature fucking con artist. He probably had to get a stool to reach the desk he wrote this on. His brain was flooded with rage-filled, hateful thoughts about the manlet who ruined the last two months of his life. Enough. He’s had enough, and now it’s time to show that short little scammer who’s boss. He went to his bedroom and searched for roughly twenty minutes to find the key to his gun safe. Opening the gun safe, he took his father’s Glock 17 and loaded a fresh magazine, racking the slide. Time to make that manlet pay. He ran outside and climbed into his car, slamming the door shut and taking a quick, deep breath. It’s finally time for him to get his revenge. But suddenly a realization hits him.

He’s lost his car key.
Keychain-anon rests his head against the steering wheel and cries. One day he’ll show that little scamming midget.