Thread 16: Stories 91-105

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>Spike
{Rarity via Charity}
~~~~~

>When I get my claws on that goddamn...

{Spikey-wikey? You're upset.}

>I'm not upset.

{You are upset and you are not thinking straight, you need to calm down.}

>I am just peachy keen.

{You are not. You are grinding your teeth and fuming. That is bad for you. If you chip a tooth, then what? We can't fix dragon teeth, they're sharp.}

>I'm not fuming.

{Then what are you planning to do?}

>Shoot her.

{With the Highwind's guns?}

>No, obviously. With Charity. With this gun. The gun I am talking to you with. I thought that was obvious.

{Not Highwind's guns.}

>Completely different gun.

{Oh, okay. For a second I thought you were going to use something that proved to be totally ineffective to her and failed to stop her completely. No no, the smaller gun works, I'm sure that's ten times the weapon commonly strapped to an airship.}

>...

{Thinking straight now?}

>No. I can tell because I'm actually wishing Chrysalis was here to mind-control me.

{Okay, not thinking straight. Gotcha. Just to double check, that's so she could make you greedy or something and you could have a giant monster brawl, right?}

>Right on the nose.

{Okay, couple reasons why that wouldn't work, but you probably aren't interested.}

>Not really.

{So, what are you going to do?}

>...I'll figure it out when I get there.

Within the confines of the castle, the Alicorn just sighed, and wearily looked out her balcony.

{Be careful.}

>Not an option.

She knew he was right.

It didn't make her feel any better.
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>Applejack
"Various Dignitaries"
~~~~~

>Please, Ah' need ya'll ta calm down!

"Calm down!? CALM DOWN!? There is a fifty story bug monster from hell stomping though this city, and you want us to CALM DOWN!? HOW WILL THAT HELP!?"

"We can't even leave because she's headed RIGHT FOR US!"

"...Sometimes, but then she'll just go off on a little tangent, it's weird."

"Like she doesn't actually know where she's going."

"Point is, THIS IS AN OUTRAGE!"

"More importantly... according to possible leads from the scouting patrols, this isn't the first place she hit."

"We must go home to our citizens!"

>We would just LOVE ta' get ya' out of here, really! But until she walks in a straight line fer' more than five minutes, it ain't happenin'.

"Can't you fly us out!?"

>Did ya'll somehow miss her takin' out a gal-danged AIRSHIP!? Flyin' ain't exactly safe either!

"Where is the princess, we must speak to her, immediately!"

>She's... occupied.

"What could she be doing that could possibly be important enough to abandon us!?"

If they only knew, the orange princess thought.

For high on her balcony, overlooking the entirety of Canterlot, the alabaster alicorn looked out, staring at the city that even now is under siege. But she did not move. She could not. To do so would cause countless deaths.

Long range teleportaiton was something only the most proficient of unicorns could even attempt. Long range teleportantion while also magically divining the location of their targets was even more dangerous. As such, every drop of concentration was needed. Every moment had to be focused entirely on clearing whoever had failed to evacuate in time from her path. Nothing could distract her. Not a single bit of energy spent elsewhere.

Not even to wipe the blood pouring from her nose.

Not one more, she told herself.

Not one more pony was going to die to this thing.
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>Trixie
"MM"
'Zecora'
~~~~~

>Okay, plan "Get the fuck into Canterlot" is a bust! And if anyone asks, there is NO possibility it following us!

"Is there actually one? That blast didn't seem to hurt her. It made her look at us, yeah, but it didn't actually do any damage."

'It was a shame we unloaded all of our guns so soon. When you think about it, we may as well have used a balloon.'

>Do you really have to rhyme all the time? That is so weird.

"Don't call her weird, you pompous hack!"

>Don't call me a hack you useless drain on society!

'Do not call her a drain, you second rate witch! Keep waggling your tongue, and I will smack you like a bi-'

>AHHHHH!

"Wasn't that bad."

>DUCK!

They managed just in time for the giant monster to pass over them, before continuing on.

"That's the third time!"

>Maybe she is following us...

"..."
'...'
>...

"...First one who suggests giving her Niney gets a hoofsmack."

>What are you looking at me for, I'm with you on that one!

'Indeed, my temporary companion. First one to say so if getting chucked off a canyon.'

>Good, we're all agreed no leaving my ghost writer.

"Or the one who does all my paperwork."

'Or the one who helps the ones so young. Attempt and I will cut off your tongue.'

>Good. All on the same-DUCK!

*SMASHSMASHSMASH!*

>WHY DOES SHE KEEP DOING THAT!?
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>Dash
"Soarin'"
'Spitfire'
[Fleetfoot]
{LD}
~~~~~

>What the hell is she after!?

"Has it occurred to you yet that maybe she's just smashing for smashing? That seems like something she would do."

>It can't be, this is too deliberate, too focused. She's aiming at something, but it's like her target keeps moving or...

'Just throwing this out there, but all the bug monsters are still locked up, right?'

{Yes. According to princess Applejack, they're all 'under protection' in one of the dining rooms.}

[In other words, 'we don't know if they are on our side yet']

"Stow that talk, we're not jumping at guns before they even start firing!"

>What he said, but...

'...It is kind of weird the portal just so happened to break, isn't it?'

>...Let's worry about that later, we good for another bombing run?

{No.}

>What's missing?

{The bombs, we're totally out of them.}

>...We can't...

"She's right."

'The fucking thing hasn't even noticed us.'

[Order us to pull back.]

>We're not running!

[Fine. Then I am. You are directly endangering my life by putting me in front of the line of fire with weaponry proved to be ineffective. I'm not doing it again, I'm done.]

'Fleetfoot...'

[See you at my court marital, if they don't just throw it out immediately for being fucking stupid.]

>...

'Sucks not having a magic win button, doesn't it?'

If she didn't know any better, she'd swear that thing was laughing at them. If she had any idea how to react, she would have. But no matter how she racked her brain, nothing would come to Dash's mind.

'Welcome to the rest of the world.'
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>Potatojack
"77"
~~~~

Bingo.

The exact moment she had been waiting for.

The monster was finally in the perfect spot to slip into and attack. She was surrounded on all sides by buildings almost as tall as she was. Perfect, perfect perfect perfect.

The speed she flew through the air was almost as fast as the adrenaline pumping through her veins as she rocketed forward. Her target was in sight, and too slow to react to her incoming attack! A little more... a little more....

SLASH!

She let out a little cheer as she landed on the building opposite to the monster, skidding to a halt with gravity itself pulling her on. But the scraping against her hooves didn't matter. All the mattered was....

>W-what!?

She was still standing! How could she still be standing!?

"Er, poppet? Was that supposed to do something?"

>I hit her weak point! How is she not dead!?

".... The back of her neck isn't a weak point, who told you that? We don't have that, why would she?"

>B-but she... but she's a... she's really...

Her sword, which she had just noticed had shattered against impenetrable hide, fell.

>MY LIFE IS A LIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEE!
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NON CANON TEASER FOR FIGHT FESTIVAL


32 grinned as he entered the stadium, the roar of the crowd was almost intoxicating to him as he stepped out into the light. The crowd roared for him, cheers and jeers intermixing into a cacophonous animal bleat that was music to the changeling's ears. With the same pleasant expression he'd worn when he'd pitched the idea of the festival, he trotted towards the raised dais of stone that served as the actual arena for the fights.

An excellent little bit of poetry, he'd thought, instead of pushing the fighters down, the festival raised them up to a level they wouldn't see anywhere else. Never was there a more pleasant smelling line of bullshit in all the world.

"Entering the arena now," The announcer declared, "He is the double-digited destroyer, the Changeling chieftain of the Morlocks, the shape-changing sensation, I give to you THIRRRRRTY-TWOOOOOOOO~!"

32 pushed himself up onto his back legs, pumping a foreleg up into the air.

"And his opponen-"

POOMF! THWACK!

"Gah!"

Thirty-Two's entire world became awash with the sight of white and the feel of cotton, he thrashed his head from side to side trying to dislodge the mysterious projectile from his cranium. Finally doing so he realized what had hit him...

"A t-shirt, what the..." His eyes grew wide as he saw the plain black lettering emblazoned on it.

'Look up, stupid!'

His head jerked up in time for a blur of red metal to smash into his face and send him spiraling end over end towards the edge of the arena. It took a few seconds to shake the cobwebs and get upright, but even as he saw his opponent he couldn't believe it.

Before 32, a jumbo-sized t-shirt gun over his shoulder, stood...32.

That is to say, Applejack 32.

"SHOWDOWN TIME, FUCKER!"

NON CANON
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http://vocaroo.com/i/s0VdCSbLXPkS

I make it sound like 56 is one of those geeky looking kids with acne, braces, and thick glasses.
http://vocaroo.com/i/s1PgNMf0ja1f

Might wanna turn your speakers down a bit, and I apologize for the scream feedback, I just wanted to try my hand at narrating again.
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0ELrlCGATbP

for the hell of it, I did this little ad thing for Flash Sentry since I couldn't get his robot voice or the villager ponies voices to sound right (or consistent)

http://vocaroo.com/i/s1FKIDjA5LOV
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>Spike
"42"
'DT'
[???]
{???}
~~~~

>Okay, we're in luck! New plan.

"New plan? What was the old one? You mean attacking her with Highwind?"

>Uh...

"...You were just going to shoot her with your little gun, weren't you?"

>I was going to aim for her eyes!

"And then...?"

>Run? Running sounds good.

'So, plan B is...?'

>You're going to shoot that building. The one fate itself decided she would aimlessly walk past to make me happy.

'That building.'

>That one.

'Blue one?'

>Blue one.

'Anything I should know before I do it?'

>Tinnitus is a very long lasting medical condition.

'GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME!'

No more provocation was needed. TBDRLIATU tasted fire once again.

Followed closely by EVERYONE tasting at least a bit of fire.

The streets glowed red as the wave of flame swept through them, engulfing every inch and corner of the block in sheer, unrelenting power. Even as powerful as she was, Chitania screamed, and felt her hooves leave the ground if only for a moment as she fell slightly to the side, stunned.

It was hard to see in all the fires and smoke, but those foolish enough to keep watching would swear they saw a blue energy flicker past at that exact moment, dropping from the heavens like a bomb.

The wave of magical power that blew away the destructive force told them they weren't as crazy as first thought.

[THINE LIPS MAY TOUCH MY BACKSIDE!]

The dust settled slowly, allowing them to look upon the screeching figure in the center of the street, standing in a crater deeper than she was tall.

Exactly where Chitania had been standing not a millisecond ago.

[WHY!? WE HAD HER IN OUR SIGHTS LIKE THE FURY OF THE HEAVENS!]

Covered in rubble and blackened by smoke, the three could only blink dumbly at the raging moon princess.

'WHAT!?'

[I SAID-]

"WHAT!?"

[DO NOT INTERRUPT US!]

>They aren't, I'm the only one who covered my ears.

"WHAT!?'

'WHAT!?'

[...Ah.]

>Also, thanks for messing up my plan of roasting her alive. Don't think I'm going to find another building stuffed to the gills with Blueblood's unused robots and munitions anytime soon.

[YOU are the one who attacked her at precisely the wrong moment and prevented us from finishing her off! And for that, you-]

Her ranting would have to wait until she got back.

Shouldn't be too long, all of those buildings she found herself flying though should slow her down a little. The burns from the green fire hopefully didn't hurt too much.

{That was Princess Celestia? Disappointing. I expected more from the sun raiser.}

>Luna, actually. Princess Luna.

Of all the times he would have liked her to NOT turn in his direction, this was pretty close to the top.

{Luna?}

>Yeah...

{Never heard of her. Still, Alicorns are supposed to be gods in Pony form...}

The building behind her had taken some damage, but apparently not enough damage to keep it from holding together as it was hefted right out of the ground. Sturdy craftmanship, those Canterlot buildings.

{...Better not take any chances.}

He obviously couldn't see the building land on her, of course, but something told the dragon that Chitania had not missed her mark.

Without even bothering to check, the massive Changeling continued on, walking as if this had been nothing but a slight detour.

>...Okay, new plan! 42, get in there and punch her!

"WHAT!?"

>Oh, right, can't hear.

"No, I can hear again, I'm asking you what the fuck you are thinking."

'WHAT!?'

"She's the one who can't hear."

>...

"Any other plans?"

>Sad to say, 42...

More buildings crumbled in the distance, and Charity suddenly felt very small in his claws.

>I'm running kind of low.
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>Batmom
“Dadling”
________

"Holy shit...."

*SLAM*

Dadling slammed the door with a rattling thud and raced through the house towards his pregnant love, finding her sitting just as calmly as when he’d left, still softly sipping from her mug of coffee despite the rolling tremors that shook the house.

“Honey? Honey, we gotta go!”

There was an old book in Glimmer’s hoof, a tattered tome, one that she’d read many a time in the past and figured why not once more. In fact, she’d been reading it aloud, reading to the throbbing life within her. But now she turned to her fretting muse and offered a quaint smirk.

>No.

“…no?”

>No.

“What’re you- honey, don’t you know what’s happening?”

>Our phone’s been blowing up for Luna knows how long now, I think I might have some small clue, dear.

“Okay, passing aside you called it ‘our’ phone, which makes my wings flitter, we gotta go! That monster thing is stomping its way towards OUR direction!”

>No.

“Why not!?”

>Because this is my home.

“Sweetie? Sweetheart? Holder of my kid? Listen…I don’t think this thing is giving two shits who has what house!”

>Well, you’re free to go if you want, but I’m staying here. Inside my home.

The look that fell over Dadling’s face when Glimmer turned back to her vocal reading suggested he might have an aneurysm. As the rumbling increased to the point where items not bolted down began to tremble and bounce, he dove to her side, skidding on his knees.

“PLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASELET’SGOBEFOREWE’RECRUSHED! I'M BEGGING YOU!”

She pecked him over the nose and used a hoof to idly stroke him over the head.

>You love me, don’t you?

“I- yes? Of course, I do! You’re the best thing to ever happen in my bleak life! Where’d that come from?”

>Then trust me, stupid.

Dadling stared at her. He stared at her long and hard.

And then he simply dropped back onto his rear and just sat there.

“Alright… so what’re you reading?”

>It’s a collection of lunar-based poems and stories. Care to listen?

“Sure.”

And as the rumbling increased, so to did Glimmers voice as she read, as the lights flickered and the cabinets doors rattled about. But most of the tales she shared were quite humorous and before he knew it, Dadling was laughing, his voice carrying over the harrowing sound of impending death.

Surprisingly, such a grisly end never came as right when the quaking reached its peak, when it seemed as though a thousand tons might come crashing down at any moment… there was only silence… and then the hollow thuds started up down a new path, almost as if whatever terror was coming had changed direction.

Not like Dadling or Glimmer noticed either way. The stories she read had the two of them in fits of laughter.

They’d come to be teleported out of the dangerzone by Celestia soon after.

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>???
“Applejack”
‘Gilda’
____

Barely in the realm of conscious, Gilda didn’t trust her eyesight at the moment and figured she just had to be hallucinating.

‘Hey… appleass, c’mere for a second….’

“Look here, ya birdbrained gimp, Ah’m busy tryin’ to calm these dignitaries! Ah don’t have time to… to….”

Midway into her rant, Gilda had lifted an arm and pointed out a nearby window where a figure was steadily rising into the air… It was a pony, an earth pony at that, and they were rising like the morning sun with twin loops of rocks encircling them.

"..."
'...'

Maud held her hooves aloft, her dress fluttered, and then her eyes began to slowly open and hone in on the tyrant wrecking havoc on the city of Canterlot.

The corner of her mouth twitched.

>Rocks. You are rocks. Come to me.

Now Applejack was wondering whether she too had suffered a massive head wound as she witnessed a bevy of different sized pebbles, stones, and boulders blast off into the air towards Maud, summoned by her… command?

They joined the others and hovered around her in a protective barrier, swirling and spinning, constantly in motion.

Once her weaponry had been gathered, Maud slowly reared back both arms-

>Know my rock.

-then let them fly forward, which sent a flurry of stones rocketing towards Chitania with the intensity of a thousand cannons being fired at once.

“…so that’s why she wanted that bill signed.”

‘What?’

“Nothin’, nothin’.”
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>Spike
"42"
'DT'
-77-
[Potatojack]
~~~~~

>Crud, didn't work there either.

"Come on, DT, don't be so hard on yourself. We don't think any less of TBDRLIATU."

'He's just having some performance issues, that's all! Give him a second and he'll bounce right back!'

>You're out of rockets.

'Everyone needs a refractory period! It happens!'

"It's fine."

'Shut up! You could probably beat her up if you hadn't fizzed out your damn harness!'

"..."

>Not cool.

'...Oh.. fine, I'm sorry, I know it was an accident.'

"It's fine."

'No, it wasn't. Sorry.'

"...Any ideas?"

>Shooting two pulleys into her face and hoping a direct explosion there does something?

"...Why two pulley-"

The whirr of the 3DMG's weapons clipping onto either side of the tall beasts head answered. The scraping of metal against metal screeched in their ears, seconds before the sound of a body hitting earth as the Changeling bailed. Chitania noticed when the gear exploded point blank in her face, but she didn't seem to care. Still, cracks were becoming apparent...

-Well, that didn't work.-

[Had to try it, swords aren't super-helpful against something that shrugs off artillery shells.]

>Nice to see you two are still alive.

-Couple of close calls, not going to lie. Any chance of reinforcements?-

>Well, we HAD Luna, but...

"Didn't go well."

[At least she looks a little damaged. Not, like, enough to make me not think we're all abut to be crushed, but you know.]

'I had to set off an entire building full of weaponry to do that.'

-Ah.-

>Well, Gun Club, options?

'...You know, I technically live in Ponyville, and you know, I never really liked this place.'

[I like my camp, yeah.]

-I've actually been thinking about moving in with Cheerilee.-

'Maybe she'll be happy with just Canterlot? She's mostly just stomping it.'

>Abandoning Canterlot to the giant mutant bug monster is not an option.

"...She's probably not a MUTANT."

>No.

"..."
'...'
-...-
[...Any chance you can grow-]

>Nope.

"'-[DAMN!]-"'
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Like thunder the rumble of the Queen shook the earth...

Far far below the one who fear the sun...

Farther still beyond the Light Dancers with their enticing glow and insidious grasps.

Deep down, where even the shadows themselves begin to fear...

A pair of eyes flickered open, followed by another, and another...

Soon the darkness took on the same beauty as the night sky, with thousands of twinkling eyes gleaming.

Another rumble and soon one final pair of eyes opened.

"OH FOR FUCKS SAKE KEEP IT DOWN UP THERE!!!"

NON CANON
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>77
“Spike”
‘PotatoJack’
-DT-
[42]
(Cheerilee)
_______

Running wasn’t an option. Well… not the kind of running that entailed tucking ones legs and beating a path to safety while others suffered. And, really, just why was that such a bad way to go? He was good at running. He was probably the best at it. Hell, running was how he’d managed to escape from the horrifying catacombs underneath the very city that beast was currently tearing down.

>Because those who have power… must do.

[You say something, 77?]

Turning towards his inquiring sister, 77 didn’t see 42 standing there, but Cheerilee. That wonderful creature that to this day he still felt he didn’t deserve. Her love and happiness… what if running cost him that? He could save himself, sure, that’d be all too easy, but then Cheerilee would suffer. Cheerilee would….

And then what of them all?

Now Tiara was asking him something, or at least he figured she must be by the way her lips moved but he stared without hearing, rigidly turning from her to Spike, then to PotatoJack, and final back to 42 again.

The weapon in his grasp had never before felt so daunting and heavy, as if he were suddenly hefting the entirety of the world in his hoof. He’d be lying if he said he weren’t scared, but it was an invigorating fear, the kind that pushed instead of paralyzed. Knowing what had to be done, now that was easy… but actually stepping forth to do it?

>I think I’d fancy my name added to that short list….

His hearing returned with a bubblegum-like pop.

-Eh! What’s wrong with you?-

“Yeah, you okay, 77? You’re looking kind of pale there….”

[Look who’s talking.]

“Oh shut up….”

Wordlessly, 77 turned to face the terror that they and nearly every other able-bodied fighting force had been trying to take down for hours on end. There wasn’t a single scratch through which to glean some sort of weakness… except for her face, where PotatoJack’s last-ditch effort struck home….

>Poppet? Come to my side for a second….

It was slightly odd and unnerving to the others present to watch as Tiara followed the request without a bit of lip, moving closer to the grizzled Changeling.

-What? Need something? If it’s about TBDRLIATU, I know he can pull--

>Those brownies I hear about, that your father makes? Are they good?

That had to have been the oddest question for not only 77 to ask, but to even be pondering in such a dire situation. But Tiara just stared at him, like she understood some underlying meaning.

-…the best, 77.-

>Then would you be so kind as to give my portion to Cheerilee? I think she’ll enjoy them.

-Course she will… course she will.-

Spike, PotatoJack, and 42 exchanged confused glances. Why were the two of them conversing about brownies? No, scratch that, wait... was 77 taking off his eyepatch?

>It’s been awhile since I’ve let this old wound get some circulation. Today seems like a perfect day for it.

[77…? What’re you doing?]

Instead of answering, 77 laid the piece of eyewear on the ground and began to fold it, first the laces, then the patch itself. When it was neat, he shuffled it over to Tiara who regarded it like he’d just handed her a blood-oozing worm.

>When you give her the brownies… can you give that to her as well? I think she’d appreciate it, poppet. It might even get you extra credit towards your next test.

It took what looked like the beginnings of a tear to shine in the corner of Tiara’s eye for the others to parse their vague back-and-forth. A spud that PotatoJack had been in the process of shoving in her mouth thudded to the ground.

‘What the hell is wrong with you?!’

“No, PJ, you’re not yelling loud enough, let me! ARE YOU OUTTA YOUR DAMN MIND?!”

[I won’t have it, 77. Never. I understand the sentiment but-]

But 77 wasn’t listening. He was busy running one of his holed hooves under Tiara’s eye.

>Tears, poppet? Really now?

-Shut up… I’m not c-crying because I c-care… it’s because… b-because…-

>Because you didn’t get to take me out?

-Exactly!-

He rubbed the filly over her head.

>You’re going to be a pretty mare when you grow up, poppet. Try not to break too many hearts, okay?

It was amazing how receptive Tiara was of 77’s choice, and the amount of snot dripping from her nose, while the others continued to bark out reasons why they wouldn’t let him go. He over talked them without even having to raise his voice.

>Spike, trust me when I say that as a dragon, you’re naturally going to surpass both 42 and the pink one in short measure. When you do, take to heart their teachings and try not to kill them, okay?

“…c-c’mon, man.”

>42, you are a very strong, very internally conflicted Changeling, and specifically because of that, I know one day you’re going to foster your own family. Not a hive… but a family.

77 remained facing the stomping behemoth, not bothering to turn around to gauge his teammates reactions, though he did hear 42 sniffle.

>And PJ… did you know there are over one hundred kinds of potatoes? I didn’t know either to be honest but I found a book on them that I thought you might enjoy. I’d planned on giving it to you later today but… you should find it under your chair in the gun room. Cheerilee helped me do up that blasted wrapping paper. I swear that mare makes the prettiest bows….

Any other time, this news would have sent PotatoJack into a muffled fit of joy, but as it stood, she only stared at the back of 77’s head, her jaw clenched so tightly it’d be amazing if she ever spoke again.

The moment Tiara set a protective hoof over the eyepatch, she joined the others in gasping when a warm, translucent green glow sparked from 77’s horn, growing and spreading until it covered him like a second skin.

[Is… is that…?]

>It’s something similar to what your harness can do, yes, though not nearly as refined. I’m not focused on protecting my body… it’s all coming down to this right here.

And he lifted the weapon that had saved his life so many times in the past, that 42 herself had cut his throat with in their simulated battle together, that wickedly sharp piece of bone. He almost chuckled at the irony of it all. The weapon that had saved his life, he was now about to give that same life using it to save everyone else’s….

It swam with concentrated love, and shined more brightly than the hue around his body did. It was almost a beacon in the dark and the others stared at it.

“You’re crazy if you think we’re letting you do this, 77. Really, you are.”

‘What Spike said. Even if we have to cripple you, we’re not-’

All the love he’d built up since being accepted into the fold at Canterlot Castle was used to jettison 77 into the air at an arch. Down below, the angered, stricken cries of his teammates met him with the force of a sledgehammer to the heart as the protective glow around his body faded and he found himself freefalling against the whistling wind.

That subtle crack in her forehead… there was something bright just behind it, a pulsating glow that looked just as good a spot to aim for as any.

Her eyes suddenly snapped to him like an eagle spotting prey and he almost grinned at this newfound attention. The intense waves of love leaking from his bone knife must have sent off a few red flags that yes, this was something that required attention and yes, this was something that might possibly do a fair bit of damage if it connected.

>Too late, my dear monster.

And it was too late, especially when his hindhooves smashed onto side of the bridge of her nose. Shockwaves of pain traveled up his thighs, no doubt rupturing muscle there, but he was already in the process of rearing back his knife even as he felt her swiftly lifting a hoof to smash him like a bug against her.

>Let’s journey to hell together.
________

On the balcony was where she stood, silhouetted by the fiery glow of destruction and refusing for even a second to seek shelter while her significant other braved the battlefield, fighting for countless ponies who would probably never know his name.

(Please… please love, ple-)

When an unholy flash filled the area, followed by that titanic roar of pain that further shook the very foundation, Cheerilee knew… and she could feel her eyes watering over. But they weren’t tears of sadness… on the contrary, what she shed was nothing more than liquidized love and pride for her precious Changeling.

(I’ll always l-love you, sweethea- OH!)

She nearly jumped out of her skin when something cracked off the overhead roof, tumbled down and then fell onto the railing in a shower of shingles. Certain the tears were skewing her vision, Cheerilee blinked a multitude of times but the scene before her didn’t change: 77’s battered, bruised and sizzling body continued to sway limply in the after-wind of his last stunt, and when he glanced at her she saw that his eyepatch was missing.

>A-and I’ll always love you, too… but why’re you in hell, poppet?

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>77
"Cheerlie"
~~~
As the light took 77 to pieces, he found his soul cast into the fiery pits where he landed with a thud on the volcanic rock.

He turned to see a weeping Cheerlie who swept him up in his arms.

>I’ll always love you, too… but why’re you in hell, poppet? Wait, did I not really die?

Cheerlie winced

"No... I'm sorry, but you did die, and you are in Hell."

>Not that I'm ungrateful, but then why are you here?

"Well, there's the good news, I'm the devil."

>Huh... I suppose you would be a good disciplinarian for wicked souls.

"Further good news, I plan to raise you as a demon pony."

With a poof, 77 was now red all over, his tail was long and ended in a sharp spearhead, and his single horn had become a pair, along now possessing a pitchfork with the middle prong having his bone knife fitted to the tip and standing in the middle of Ponyville next to a 'sexy satan' Cheerlie

>... Huh... This is not exactly how I thought my sacrifice might work, but I am willing to work with it.

NON CANON
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>Applejack
"Rarity"
~~~~~

It was not often Applejack felt like she was useless, far from it. She normally felt like any problem, no matter how big, could easily be conquerable on her own. It's driven her to a exhaustion starved state on more than one occasion. But for this.

>Any sign o' Twilight yet?

"Scouts haven't seen a thing."

>Damn.

"Any chance you've been practicing your magic?"

>Haven't had a chance ta'.

"Well, we are immortal, are we not?"

>Are we THAT immortal?

"...Probably not. Celestia did warn that it was possible to kill us. We're not invincible."

>That's what ah' figured.

"Luna failed, by the way."

>Ah' saw.

"What are the odds the Princess has some secret weapon for when she gets here?"

>At the rate she's goin', Celestia'll have time ta' build her a whole gal-danged mechanical army.

"Her movement is quite odd, isn't it? I thought she would go straight for the Changelings, but..."

>Kind of looks like she's avoidin' it, isn't it?

"...Do you think-"

>We'll deal with it later. Just keep me up ta' date with Spike and help me keep these dignitaries from soilin' themselves.

"I can promise exactly one of those."

>Noted.
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